SHARE
TWEET

International Falls (2019) EN

theaceboyyat Mar 25th, 2020 30 Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. 1
  2. 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:19,699
  3. Subtitles by explosiveskull
  4. www.OpenSubtitles.org
  5.  
  6. 2
  7. 00:01:35,780 --> 00:01:38,315
  8. Hey, Dee.
  9. Did you find them?
  10.  
  11. 3
  12. 00:01:39,951 --> 00:01:40,952
  13. Yeah.
  14.  
  15. 4
  16. 00:01:41,919 --> 00:01:42,920
  17. Yeah, I got them right here.
  18.  
  19. 5
  20. 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,727
  21. You coming to the show tonight?
  22.  
  23. 6
  24. 00:01:50,962 --> 00:01:52,663
  25. I don't know.
  26.  
  27. 7
  28. 00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:54,697
  29. Probably not.
  30.  
  31. 8
  32. 00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:55,865
  33. You love the comedy nights.
  34.  
  35. 9
  36. 00:01:58,102 --> 00:02:00,002
  37. - It's supposed to snow.
  38. - They said maybe tomorrow.
  39.  
  40. 10
  41. 00:02:00,004 --> 00:02:02,071
  42. - Yeah, I know.
  43. - So you should come.
  44.  
  45. 11
  46. 00:02:02,073 --> 00:02:03,538
  47. I know.
  48.  
  49. 12
  50. 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,776
  51. Oh, hey, I gotcha something.
  52.  
  53. 13
  54. 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,614
  55. - Thanks.
  56. - I was at a bookstore in Duluth a couple weeks ago.
  57.  
  58. 14
  59. 00:02:11,581 --> 00:02:15,552
  60. - Do you have that one?
  61. - No, and I have a few.
  62.  
  63. 15
  64. 00:02:16,687 --> 00:02:18,788
  65. - Thanks, Ruthie.
  66. - No problem.
  67.  
  68. 16
  69. 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:19,857
  70. It was like 50 cents.
  71.  
  72. 17
  73. 00:02:23,027 --> 00:02:24,061
  74. Oh, oh.
  75.  
  76. 18
  77. 00:02:25,263 --> 00:02:28,496
  78. - Hey.
  79. - <i>Hey. Have you left work yet?</i>
  80.  
  81. 19
  82. 00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:30,733
  83. No, uh, about another
  84. half hour or so.
  85.  
  86. 20
  87. 00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:32,367
  88. <i>Oh, good,
  89. glad I caught you.</i>
  90.  
  91. 21
  92. 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:33,501
  93. <i>Uh, you think you could stop</i>
  94.  
  95. 22
  96. 00:02:33,503 --> 00:02:34,538
  97. <i>by Tom's on the way home?</i>
  98.  
  99. 23
  100. 00:02:35,706 --> 00:02:36,872
  101. <i>I checked this morning
  102. and you're way past</i>
  103.  
  104. 24
  105. 00:02:36,874 --> 00:02:37,875
  106. <i>due on the oil.</i>
  107.  
  108. 25
  109. 00:02:38,776 --> 00:02:39,844
  110. Yeah, I could do that.
  111.  
  112. 26
  113. 00:02:40,945 --> 00:02:42,510
  114. <i>Oh, good.
  115. Uh, better today than tomorrow.</i>
  116.  
  117. 27
  118. 00:02:42,512 --> 00:02:43,781
  119. <i>It's supposed to snow, you know.</i>
  120.  
  121. 28
  122. 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,948
  123. Yeah, I know, I know.
  124.  
  125. 29
  126. 00:02:45,950 --> 00:02:48,019
  127. So, uh, does this mean I
  128. still have to pick up the girls?
  129.  
  130. 30
  131. 00:02:48,719 --> 00:02:50,054
  132. <i>Yeah, yeah,
  133. if you don't mind.</i>
  134.  
  135. 31
  136. 00:02:51,621 --> 00:02:52,824
  137. No, I don't mind.
  138.  
  139. 32
  140. 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,990
  141. <i>Okay,
  142. I'll see you at home.</i>
  143.  
  144. 33
  145. 00:02:54,992 --> 00:02:55,893
  146. <i>Love you.</i>
  147.  
  148. 34
  149. 00:02:56,861 --> 00:02:57,829
  150. Love you.
  151.  
  152. 35
  153. 00:03:00,798 --> 00:03:01,699
  154. Hey.
  155.  
  156. 36
  157. 00:03:02,465 --> 00:03:03,668
  158. Should I get a tattoo?
  159.  
  160. 37
  161. 00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:05,435
  162. I want to get a tattoo.
  163.  
  164. 38
  165. 00:03:05,870 --> 00:03:07,672
  166. - What's stopping you?
  167. - My mom.
  168.  
  169. 39
  170. 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,339
  171. Your mom?
  172.  
  173. 40
  174. 00:03:10,574 --> 00:03:13,108
  175. Ruthie, you're 23-years-old.
  176.  
  177. 41
  178. 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,576
  179. Twenty two.
  180.  
  181. 42
  182. 00:03:14,578 --> 00:03:16,078
  183. Her house, her rules.
  184.  
  185. 43
  186. 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,645
  187. Then get it somewhere
  188. where she can't see it.
  189.  
  190. 44
  191. 00:03:17,647 --> 00:03:19,114
  192. Like where,
  193. like between my toes?
  194.  
  195. 45
  196. 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,716
  197. No, like in your vagina.
  198.  
  199. 46
  200. 00:03:20,718 --> 00:03:22,019
  201. And I don't mean like around it,
  202.  
  203. 47
  204. 00:03:23,054 --> 00:03:25,656
  205. I mean like... inside it.
  206.  
  207. 48
  208. 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,123
  209. - Like get in there.
  210. - Like...
  211.  
  212. 49
  213. 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,624
  214. ...that sounds really painful.
  215.  
  216. 50
  217. 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,026
  218. No, it's not painful
  219. at all up there.
  220.  
  221. 51
  222. 00:03:31,028 --> 00:03:32,862
  223. Have you gotten a tattoo
  224. inside your vagina?
  225.  
  226. 52
  227. 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,630
  228. Yes, I have. I've got
  229. like the constellations.
  230.  
  231. 53
  232. 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,599
  233. You know, it's sort of like
  234. an observatory up there.
  235.  
  236. 54
  237. 00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:39,902
  238. Like the Milky Way, Big Dipper.
  239.  
  240. 55
  241. 00:03:39,904 --> 00:03:42,204
  242. Wait, so what,
  243. what should mine be then?
  244.  
  245. 56
  246. 00:03:42,206 --> 00:03:44,073
  247. You should get like
  248. a groundhog up there.
  249.  
  250. 57
  251. 00:03:44,075 --> 00:03:45,542
  252. - I like that.
  253. - Yeah.
  254.  
  255. 58
  256. 00:03:45,977 --> 00:03:47,776
  257. That way, you know, you'll know,
  258.  
  259. 59
  260. 00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:48,944
  261. - it's spring.
  262. - It's spring.
  263.  
  264. 60
  265. 00:03:48,946 --> 00:03:50,447
  266. Fuck this!
  267.  
  268. 61
  269. 00:03:50,915 --> 00:03:53,084
  270. Cold as fuck.
  271.  
  272. 62
  273. 00:03:58,189 --> 00:04:00,523
  274. Hi. Sorry.
  275.  
  276. 63
  277. 00:04:01,625 --> 00:04:02,559
  278. Cold outside.
  279.  
  280. 64
  281. 00:04:03,794 --> 00:04:07,031
  282. - Checking in?
  283. - Yeah. Uh, Tim Fletcher for two nights.
  284.  
  285. 65
  286. 00:04:07,631 --> 00:04:08,833
  287. Oh, you're the comedian.
  288.  
  289. 66
  290. 00:04:09,934 --> 00:04:11,836
  291. - Yeah.
  292. - Very edgy.
  293.  
  294. 67
  295. 00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:19,810
  296. - You think so?
  297. - Yeah, you got a real Steve Gutenberg thing going on.
  298.  
  299. 68
  300. 00:04:20,711 --> 00:04:21,611
  301. Wow, you're old.
  302.  
  303. 69
  304. 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:28,483
  305. Okay. You're going to be in
  306. room 109. That's on the first floor.
  307.  
  308. 70
  309. 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:31,689
  310. - Oh, you guys have the ones on the first floor.
  311. - Yes, sir!
  312.  
  313. 71
  314. 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,822
  315. Can we help you
  316. with anything else?
  317.  
  318. 72
  319. 00:04:33,824 --> 00:04:35,590
  320. Um, actually,
  321. if there's a liquor store
  322.  
  323. 73
  324. 00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:37,793
  325. that would be helpful,
  326. and maybe fast food.
  327.  
  328. 74
  329. 00:04:37,795 --> 00:04:40,029
  330. But not like those
  331. local kitschy kind,
  332.  
  333. 75
  334. 00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:42,064
  335. like from Food Network.
  336.  
  337. 76
  338. 00:04:42,066 --> 00:04:44,934
  339. Maybe some chains with
  340. poison to fuel my body.
  341.  
  342. 77
  343. 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:45,935
  344. Okay.
  345.  
  346. 78
  347. 00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,202
  348. Well, there's the, um,
  349.  
  350. 79
  351. 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,171
  352. Chocolate Mousse
  353. on Third Avenue.
  354.  
  355. 80
  356. 00:04:49,173 --> 00:04:51,641
  357. Their Big Moose Combo
  358. will change your life.
  359.  
  360. 81
  361. 00:04:52,076 --> 00:04:53,709
  362. Or if you're in the mood
  363. for some breakfast,
  364.  
  365. 82
  366. 00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:55,277
  367. the Angler's Hungry Man,
  368. that'll do you right.
  369.  
  370. 83
  371. 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:57,512
  372. And then
  373. if you want liquor you can go
  374.  
  375. 84
  376. 00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:59,148
  377. to Bootlegger's, that's on
  378. Second Avenue which is...
  379.  
  380. 85
  381. 00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:00,215
  382. Do you have GPS?
  383.  
  384. 86
  385. 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,117
  386. No, I'm a caveman.
  387.  
  388. 87
  389. 00:05:02,119 --> 00:05:04,253
  390. I was recently unfrozen, so.
  391.  
  392. 88
  393. 00:05:04,255 --> 00:05:07,022
  394. Oh, wow, then
  395. you're older than I am.
  396.  
  397. 89
  398. 00:05:07,024 --> 00:05:08,092
  399. Do you know Pauly Shore?
  400.  
  401. 90
  402. 00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:09,658
  403. He wishes.
  404.  
  405. 91
  406. 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:10,828
  407. These should work.
  408.  
  409. 92
  410. 00:05:13,831 --> 00:05:14,799
  411. Thank you.
  412.  
  413. 93
  414. 00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:16,566
  415. Have a nice day.
  416.  
  417. 94
  418. 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:18,035
  419. Don't tell me what to do.
  420.  
  421. 95
  422. 00:05:20,004 --> 00:05:22,805
  423. You know, they say once
  424. you visit International Falls,
  425.  
  426. 96
  427. 00:05:22,807 --> 00:05:23,939
  428. it's hard to leave.
  429.  
  430. 97
  431. 00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:25,107
  432. Well, they said the same thing
  433.  
  434. 98
  435. 00:05:25,109 --> 00:05:27,309
  436. about Siberia under Stalin, so.
  437.  
  438. 99
  439. 00:05:27,311 --> 00:05:28,713
  440. We'll see.
  441.  
  442. 100
  443. 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,182
  444. He seems like a dick.
  445.  
  446. 101
  447. 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,950
  448. Yeah, most of them are.
  449.  
  450. 102
  451. 00:05:34,952 --> 00:05:35,920
  452. Have you heard of him?
  453.  
  454. 103
  455. 00:05:36,654 --> 00:05:37,688
  456. No.
  457.  
  458. 104
  459. 00:05:38,723 --> 00:05:40,122
  460. We don't get the kind of
  461. people you've heard of.
  462.  
  463. 105
  464. 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:16,859
  465. I can't do it.
  466. Hold on, hold on one second.
  467.  
  468. 106
  469. 00:06:16,861 --> 00:06:17,862
  470. I'm, I'm...
  471.  
  472. 107
  473. 00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:21,966
  474. But I'm hungry and I don't want
  475. to eat chicken nuggets.
  476.  
  477. 108
  478. 00:06:25,169 --> 00:06:27,102
  479. Hey, it's me.
  480.  
  481. 109
  482. 00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:28,939
  483. I am checking in.
  484.  
  485. 110
  486. 00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:30,741
  487. Give me a call.
  488.  
  489. 111
  490. 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,143
  491. Okay, okay, okay.
  492.  
  493. 112
  494. 00:06:52,763 --> 00:06:53,964
  495. Oh, cold out there, isn't it?
  496.  
  497. 113
  498. 00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:56,298
  499. - Hello.
  500. - Some people don't like to go out in the cold.
  501.  
  502. 114
  503. 00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:57,933
  504. I don't mind it, I can...
  505.  
  506. 115
  507. 00:06:57,935 --> 00:07:00,204
  508. Sometimes I just sit out
  509. there and drink a pop.
  510.  
  511. 116
  512. 00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:04,641
  513. - I see.
  514. - We stay, ah, open, ah, during the week really late.
  515.  
  516. 117
  517. 00:07:05,276 --> 00:07:07,311
  518. So if you need to
  519. come back here, you know.
  520.  
  521. 118
  522. 00:07:08,112 --> 00:07:12,014
  523. You smoke? We got some, um,
  524. cigarette stuffs up here, uh,
  525.  
  526. 119
  527. 00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:13,851
  528. if you do. I, I stopped...
  529.  
  530. 120
  531. 00:07:14,718 --> 00:07:17,052
  532. smoking. They say
  533. it can give you cancer.
  534.  
  535. 121
  536. 00:07:17,054 --> 00:07:18,055
  537. I don't want that again.
  538.  
  539. 122
  540. 00:07:20,157 --> 00:07:22,860
  541. I think I'm just going
  542. to go with, um, the vodka.
  543.  
  544. 123
  545. 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,595
  546. - Oh, okay.
  547. - Uh, any special kind?
  548.  
  549. 124
  550. 00:07:26,163 --> 00:07:27,830
  551. I think vodka's vodka.
  552.  
  553. 125
  554. 00:07:27,832 --> 00:07:29,698
  555. Well, it's not,
  556. but I'll give you
  557.  
  558. 126
  559. 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,935
  560. one of my favorites, okay?
  561.  
  562. 127
  563. 00:07:32,303 --> 00:07:34,937
  564. Ah. Ah.
  565.  
  566. 128
  567. 00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:36,405
  568. Hmm, love this stuff.
  569.  
  570. 129
  571. 00:07:36,407 --> 00:07:37,739
  572. Anything else?
  573.  
  574. 130
  575. 00:07:37,741 --> 00:07:40,008
  576. Maybe, uh, a really good scotch.
  577.  
  578. 131
  579. 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:42,111
  580. Oh, yes, there is, sir.
  581.  
  582. 132
  583. 00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:47,850
  584. Not cheap, but this is
  585. the good stuff right here.
  586.  
  587. 133
  588. 00:07:47,852 --> 00:07:49,954
  589. - Only the best.
  590. - Yeah. Anything else?
  591.  
  592. 134
  593. 00:07:52,189 --> 00:07:54,058
  594. You know what?
  595. Can I have this guy too?
  596.  
  597. 135
  598. 00:07:54,425 --> 00:07:56,358
  599. Aw.
  600.  
  601. 136
  602. 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,196
  603. Somebody has a soft spot,
  604. huh?
  605.  
  606. 137
  607. 00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:02,798
  608. So, uh, you, uh,
  609. from around here?
  610.  
  611. 138
  612. 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,135
  613. No, just passing through.
  614.  
  615. 139
  616. 00:08:04,702 --> 00:08:06,804
  617. Yeah, what, uh,
  618. business are you in?
  619.  
  620. 140
  621. 00:08:07,338 --> 00:08:08,405
  622. I'm in plastics.
  623.  
  624. 141
  625. 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,740
  626. I'm joking.
  627.  
  628. 142
  629. 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:13,110
  630. - Oh.
  631. - I'm a comedian.
  632.  
  633. 143
  634. 00:08:13,711 --> 00:08:15,410
  635. Oh.
  636.  
  637. 144
  638. 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,946
  639. I'm doing a couple shows, uh,
  640. tonight and tomorrow night.
  641.  
  642. 145
  643. 00:08:17,948 --> 00:08:19,316
  644. - Oh, at the hotel.
  645. - Yeah.
  646.  
  647. 146
  648. 00:08:19,884 --> 00:08:21,316
  649. You know, my husband and I,
  650.  
  651. 147
  652. 00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:24,019
  653. we have been meaning
  654. to go to one of those.
  655.  
  656. 148
  657. 00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:25,890
  658. I wouldn't bother.
  659. I'm not very good.
  660.  
  661. 149
  662. 00:08:29,393 --> 00:08:31,162
  663. No, I, I, I'm really
  664. not very good.
  665.  
  666. 150
  667. 00:08:33,364 --> 00:08:36,100
  668. Okay, okay. All right, uh.
  669.  
  670. 151
  671. 00:08:37,368 --> 00:08:39,103
  672. So, uh, well.
  673.  
  674. 152
  675. 00:08:40,237 --> 00:08:41,305
  676. I wish you a lot of luck.
  677.  
  678. 153
  679. 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,473
  680. You know what they say.
  681.  
  682. 154
  683. 00:08:44,475 --> 00:08:46,041
  684. Once you visit
  685. International Falls...
  686.  
  687. 155
  688. 00:08:46,043 --> 00:08:47,409
  689. You don't want to leave.
  690.  
  691. 156
  692. 00:08:47,411 --> 00:08:49,811
  693. Yes! You,
  694.  
  695. 157
  696. 00:08:49,813 --> 00:08:50,946
  697. you know.
  698.  
  699. 158
  700. 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,449
  701. Well, just you watch me.
  702.  
  703. 159
  704. 00:08:59,156 --> 00:09:01,423
  705. Hey!
  706.  
  707. 160
  708. 00:09:01,425 --> 00:09:02,925
  709. - Dad!
  710. - Daddy!
  711.  
  712. 161
  713. 00:09:02,927 --> 00:09:04,459
  714. Hey, there's my girls.
  715.  
  716. 162
  717. 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:05,894
  718. Hey.
  719.  
  720. 163
  721. 00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:07,329
  722. - Hey, there, beautiful.
  723. - Hey.
  724.  
  725. 164
  726. 00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:08,330
  727. How was school today?
  728.  
  729. 165
  730. 00:09:08,332 --> 00:09:10,132
  731. - Good.
  732. - Boring.
  733.  
  734. 166
  735. 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:11,802
  736. Okay, get in there,
  737. finish your food.
  738.  
  739. 167
  740. 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,504
  741. Hey, thanks a lot for
  742. taking care of the car today.
  743.  
  744. 168
  745. 00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:18,106
  746. Boy, I didn't know when I was
  747. going to get around to that.
  748.  
  749. 169
  750. 00:09:18,108 --> 00:09:20,175
  751. - Yeah.
  752. - Yeah, oh, boy, look at this.
  753.  
  754. 170
  755. 00:09:20,177 --> 00:09:21,378
  756. This is yummy, huh?
  757.  
  758. 171
  759. 00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:28,317
  760. <i>That's why sometimes
  761. you need a push to take the plunge.</i>
  762.  
  763. 172
  764. 00:09:28,319 --> 00:09:31,053
  765. <i>Well, it sounds
  766. like you didn't give him a chance.</i>
  767.  
  768. 173
  769. 00:09:31,055 --> 00:09:32,856
  770. <i>This is so not my type.</i>
  771.  
  772. 174
  773. 00:09:34,058 --> 00:09:35,159
  774. <i>Got to give it to you.</i>
  775.  
  776. 175
  777. 00:09:35,859 --> 00:09:37,161
  778. <i>I know exactly what you mean.</i>
  779.  
  780. 176
  781. 00:09:40,798 --> 00:09:42,099
  782. - <i>Oh!</i>
  783. - Fuck you.
  784.  
  785. 177
  786. 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,068
  787. A one, a two, a one,
  788. two, three, four!
  789.  
  790. 178
  791. 00:09:46,070 --> 00:09:50,973
  792. <i>♪ I want to stay inside and go
  793. Sledding down my stairs ♪</i>
  794.  
  795. 179
  796. 00:09:50,975 --> 00:09:52,176
  797. Guitar solo!
  798.  
  799. 180
  800. 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,146
  801. Mama!
  802.  
  803. 181
  804. 00:09:58,148 --> 00:09:59,481
  805. Mama, get in here,
  806. I need some help.
  807.  
  808. 182
  809. 00:09:59,483 --> 00:10:01,018
  810. We need some backup singers.
  811.  
  812. 183
  813. 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:02,753
  814. Mommy, you okay?
  815.  
  816. 184
  817. 00:10:03,354 --> 00:10:06,288
  818. Yeah, yeah. Um,
  819.  
  820. 185
  821. 00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:08,156
  822. uh, would you mind
  823. if I went back and, and watched
  824.  
  825. 186
  826. 00:10:08,158 --> 00:10:09,258
  827. the comedy show tonight?
  828.  
  829. 187
  830. 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:10,859
  831. I could use a laugh.
  832.  
  833. 188
  834. 00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:11,762
  835. Oh.
  836.  
  837. 189
  838. 00:10:12,296 --> 00:10:13,197
  839. Yeah, sure.
  840.  
  841. 190
  842. 00:10:15,466 --> 00:10:18,302
  843. Where were you when I was
  844. getting the oil changed?
  845.  
  846. 191
  847. 00:10:19,403 --> 00:10:20,304
  848. Work.
  849.  
  850. 192
  851. 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,773
  852. I was at work.
  853.  
  854. 193
  855. 00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:30,846
  856. I'm going to go get ready.
  857.  
  858. 194
  859. 00:10:32,616 --> 00:10:34,051
  860. Oh, my God.
  861.  
  862. 195
  863. 00:10:34,418 --> 00:10:36,053
  864. Oh, my God, oh.
  865.  
  866. 196
  867. 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:52,803
  868. Okay.
  869.  
  870. 197
  871. 00:10:55,105 --> 00:10:56,307
  872. No, hey, hey.
  873.  
  874. 198
  875. 00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,176
  876. Yeah, that Siberia,
  877.  
  878. 199
  879. 00:10:59,643 --> 00:11:01,378
  880. Siberia joke was not funny.
  881.  
  882. 200
  883. 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,351
  884. <i>Aw, look at all those
  885. enthusiastic faces out there.</i>
  886.  
  887. 201
  888. 00:11:09,353 --> 00:11:10,952
  889. - <i>Everybody got your drinks?</i>
  890. - Fuck it.
  891.  
  892. 202
  893. 00:11:10,954 --> 00:11:12,387
  894. - <i>Great.</i>
  895. - Fuck it.
  896.  
  897. 203
  898. 00:11:12,389 --> 00:11:13,955
  899. All right, it's time to welcome
  900.  
  901. 204
  902. 00:11:13,957 --> 00:11:15,924
  903. our headliner to the stage.
  904.  
  905. 205
  906. 00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:18,894
  907. This guy's been doing
  908. standup for a long time.
  909.  
  910. 206
  911. 00:11:18,896 --> 00:11:22,364
  912. You've seen him on HBO,
  913. Comedy Central, and many more.
  914.  
  915. 207
  916. 00:11:22,366 --> 00:11:26,201
  917. Please, make a lot of noise
  918. for Mr. Tim Fletcher.
  919.  
  920. 208
  921. 00:11:28,372 --> 00:11:30,040
  922. - Thanks, man.
  923. - Go kill it.
  924.  
  925. 209
  926. 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:35,312
  927. What's up! Oh, oh, stop it,
  928. stop it. It's too much.
  929.  
  930. 210
  931. 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,614
  932. It's too much,
  933. I mean it, I mean it.
  934.  
  935. 211
  936. 00:11:38,248 --> 00:11:41,550
  937. Uh, keep it going.
  938. Keep it going for your opener, uh, Taylor.
  939.  
  940. 212
  941. 00:11:43,921 --> 00:11:45,954
  942. Oh, it's Trevor, Trevor.
  943.  
  944. 213
  945. 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,090
  946. Sorry, these kids
  947. with their names.
  948.  
  949. 214
  950. 00:11:48,092 --> 00:11:50,058
  951. It's like they all have
  952. different names now.
  953.  
  954. 215
  955. 00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:51,694
  956. Uh, yeah, I'm looking
  957. around the room,
  958.  
  959. 216
  960. 00:11:51,696 --> 00:11:53,495
  961. I see some familiar faces.
  962.  
  963. 217
  964. 00:11:53,497 --> 00:11:54,465
  965. Hello and welcome.
  966.  
  967. 218
  968. 00:11:55,700 --> 00:12:00,703
  969. Um, it's very nice to be here
  970. in International Falls. Um.
  971.  
  972. 219
  973. 00:12:00,705 --> 00:12:06,274
  974. I love to get away from the rat
  975. race of Duluth, you know?
  976.  
  977. 220
  978. 00:12:06,276 --> 00:12:08,076
  979. Duluth is the future.
  980.  
  981. 221
  982. 00:12:08,078 --> 00:12:11,213
  983. I mean, they just got landlines.
  984.  
  985. 222
  986. 00:12:11,215 --> 00:12:14,151
  987. So, good for Duluth,
  988. good for Duluth. Um.
  989.  
  990. 223
  991. 00:12:15,018 --> 00:12:16,451
  992. Who here is married?
  993.  
  994. 224
  995. 00:12:16,453 --> 00:12:18,188
  996. I'm married.
  997. Go ahead, get them up.
  998.  
  999. 225
  1000. 00:12:18,555 --> 00:12:20,188
  1001. Get them up, no shame there.
  1002.  
  1003. 226
  1004. 00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:21,490
  1005. Yeah, this guy's married?
  1006.  
  1007. 227
  1008. 00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:22,725
  1009. Okay, I find
  1010. that hard to believe.
  1011.  
  1012. 228
  1013. 00:12:22,727 --> 00:12:25,093
  1014. You look like a murderer. Um.
  1015.  
  1016. 229
  1017. 00:12:25,095 --> 00:12:27,931
  1018. But, uh, I like being married,
  1019. I really do. Um.
  1020.  
  1021. 230
  1022. 00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:30,432
  1023. But being married
  1024. changes things.
  1025.  
  1026. 231
  1027. 00:12:30,434 --> 00:12:33,937
  1028. It, uh, for me it changed,
  1029. uh, guys' night.
  1030.  
  1031. 232
  1032. 00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:39,274
  1033. I liked hearing about their
  1034. sexual conquests, you know?
  1035.  
  1036. 233
  1037. 00:12:39,276 --> 00:12:42,179
  1038. I was like Cookie Monster.
  1039. I was just like.
  1040.  
  1041. 234
  1042. 00:12:43,748 --> 00:12:45,916
  1043. Tell me more, you know,
  1044. I want all that shit.
  1045.  
  1046. 235
  1047. 00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:49,985
  1048. Now, invariably,
  1049. someone does this to me.
  1050.  
  1051. 236
  1052. 00:12:49,987 --> 00:12:56,291
  1053. Someone, someone says, "You know, Tim,
  1054. I was, uh, I was having sex last night.
  1055.  
  1056. 237
  1057. 00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:59,628
  1058. I was having a lot of
  1059. strange sex last night,
  1060.  
  1061. 238
  1062. 00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:01,363
  1063. and it was great, it was great.
  1064.  
  1065. 239
  1066. 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:04,332
  1067. She was a model,
  1068. probably never see her again.
  1069.  
  1070. 240
  1071. 00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:07,705
  1072. Totally hot, totally great body.
  1073.  
  1074. 241
  1075. 00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:10,340
  1076. But Tim, you're so lucky.
  1077.  
  1078. 242
  1079. 00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:12,609
  1080. You're so lucky."
  1081.  
  1082. 243
  1083. 00:13:13,277 --> 00:13:15,612
  1084. And I'm like, "What?
  1085.  
  1086. 244
  1087. 00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:18,248
  1088. I mean, how, how am I lucky?"
  1089.  
  1090. 245
  1091. 00:13:19,349 --> 00:13:22,617
  1092. "Because you're married
  1093. and that's beautiful."
  1094.  
  1095. 246
  1096. 00:13:22,619 --> 00:13:25,755
  1097. And I'm like, "Dude,
  1098. don't do this.
  1099.  
  1100. 247
  1101. 00:13:25,757 --> 00:13:27,289
  1102. Not on guys' night.
  1103.  
  1104. 248
  1105. 00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:29,491
  1106. Don't you ruin
  1107. guys' night for me.
  1108.  
  1109. 249
  1110. 00:13:29,493 --> 00:13:31,694
  1111. Now's not the time
  1112. to be telling me
  1113.  
  1114. 250
  1115. 00:13:31,696 --> 00:13:34,797
  1116. how much you admire
  1117. my commitment to my wife.
  1118.  
  1119. 251
  1120. 00:13:34,799 --> 00:13:38,734
  1121. Tomorrow when you find out
  1122. that it burns when you pee.
  1123.  
  1124. 252
  1125. 00:13:38,736 --> 00:13:42,304
  1126. Yeah, then you can tell me
  1127. how swell my marriage is,
  1128.  
  1129. 253
  1130. 00:13:42,306 --> 00:13:44,174
  1131. but not tonight, not tonight."
  1132.  
  1133. 254
  1134. 00:13:48,312 --> 00:13:49,213
  1135. Hey.
  1136.  
  1137. 255
  1138. 00:13:50,214 --> 00:13:51,114
  1139. Hello.
  1140.  
  1141. 256
  1142. 00:13:52,149 --> 00:13:53,317
  1143. You were funny tonight.
  1144.  
  1145. 257
  1146. 00:13:54,318 --> 00:13:56,086
  1147. Oh, thank you.
  1148.  
  1149. 258
  1150. 00:13:58,322 --> 00:13:59,623
  1151. Mm-hmm.
  1152.  
  1153. 259
  1154. 00:14:07,732 --> 00:14:08,700
  1155. Keep going.
  1156.  
  1157. 260
  1158. 00:14:14,706 --> 00:14:17,140
  1159. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop,
  1160. stop, stop, stop, stop.
  1161.  
  1162. 261
  1163. 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:30,320
  1164. Thank you so much.
  1165.  
  1166. 262
  1167. 00:14:31,255 --> 00:14:33,056
  1168. Yeah. Yeah.
  1169.  
  1170. 263
  1171. 00:14:34,859 --> 00:14:36,460
  1172. Yeah.
  1173.  
  1174. 264
  1175. 00:14:36,861 --> 00:14:38,360
  1176. Can I get you a towel?
  1177.  
  1178. 265
  1179. 00:14:38,362 --> 00:14:40,295
  1180. Uh, no, no, I can
  1181. just use the sheet.
  1182.  
  1183. 266
  1184. 00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,231
  1185. It's okay.
  1186.  
  1187. 267
  1188. 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,703
  1189. Well, thank you,
  1190. that was really nice.
  1191.  
  1192. 268
  1193. 00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:47,504
  1194. It was really great.
  1195.  
  1196. 269
  1197. 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,608
  1198. What?
  1199.  
  1200. 270
  1201. 00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:54,511
  1202. The, uh.
  1203.  
  1204. 271
  1205. 00:14:55,512 --> 00:14:58,448
  1206. - It was great.
  1207. - Oh, uh, yeah, well, you know.
  1208.  
  1209. 272
  1210. 00:14:59,449 --> 00:15:00,450
  1211. It's not rocket science.
  1212.  
  1213. 273
  1214. 00:15:01,618 --> 00:15:03,151
  1215. - It is if you think about it.
  1216. - Yeah, I try not to think
  1217.  
  1218. 274
  1219. 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,553
  1220. about that, so.
  1221.  
  1222. 275
  1223. 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:06,323
  1224. Yeah, I guess it is
  1225. a little bit gross.
  1226.  
  1227. 276
  1228. 00:15:07,357 --> 00:15:08,325
  1229. Uh...
  1230.  
  1231. 277
  1232. 00:15:08,893 --> 00:15:10,127
  1233. yeah.
  1234.  
  1235. 278
  1236. 00:15:14,264 --> 00:15:15,332
  1237. Uh, do you want a drink?
  1238.  
  1239. 279
  1240. 00:15:18,903 --> 00:15:20,803
  1241. - Do you want a drink?
  1242. - Uh, no.
  1243.  
  1244. 280
  1245. 00:15:20,805 --> 00:15:21,839
  1246. No, sorry.
  1247.  
  1248. 281
  1249. 00:15:22,539 --> 00:15:23,675
  1250. Uh, I have to go.
  1251.  
  1252. 282
  1253. 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:26,410
  1254. Oh.
  1255.  
  1256. 283
  1257. 00:15:27,144 --> 00:15:29,210
  1258. Uh, okay.
  1259.  
  1260. 284
  1261. 00:15:29,212 --> 00:15:31,114
  1262. Um, do you think
  1263. you're okay to drive?
  1264.  
  1265. 285
  1266. 00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:34,184
  1267. Uh, yeah, yes, uh.
  1268.  
  1269. 286
  1270. 00:15:35,252 --> 00:15:36,253
  1271. Yeah, I'm not drunk.
  1272.  
  1273. 287
  1274. 00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:38,587
  1275. You seemed kind of drunk before.
  1276.  
  1277. 288
  1278. 00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:40,591
  1279. Yes, I know. I was pretending.
  1280.  
  1281. 289
  1282. 00:15:43,795 --> 00:15:45,697
  1283. It's so.
  1284.  
  1285. 290
  1286. 00:15:47,497 --> 00:15:49,399
  1287. Why did I do that?
  1288. Why did I act drunk?
  1289.  
  1290. 291
  1291. 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,501
  1292. Because it works?
  1293.  
  1294. 292
  1295. 00:15:57,341 --> 00:15:58,241
  1296. Okay.
  1297.  
  1298. 293
  1299. 00:16:24,501 --> 00:16:25,968
  1300. <i>Please
  1301. leave your message.</i>
  1302.  
  1303. 294
  1304. 00:16:25,970 --> 00:16:27,537
  1305. Hey, it's me.
  1306.  
  1307. 295
  1308. 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,674
  1309. I was just hoping
  1310. to talk to him.
  1311.  
  1312. 296
  1313. 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,142
  1314. Uh, can you guys give me
  1315. a call, please?
  1316.  
  1317. 297
  1318. 00:17:02,472 --> 00:17:03,706
  1319. <i>Hey, babe.
  1320. How was the show?</i>
  1321.  
  1322. 298
  1323. 00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:04,907
  1324. Hey, uh, Ruthie got sick
  1325.  
  1326. 299
  1327. 00:17:04,909 --> 00:17:07,477
  1328. and, uh, needs me
  1329. to cover for her.
  1330.  
  1331. 300
  1332. 00:17:08,245 --> 00:17:10,245
  1333. - <i>All night?</i>
  1334. - Uh, yeah, afraid so.
  1335.  
  1336. 301
  1337. 00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:11,415
  1338. <i>Oh, that stinks.</i>
  1339.  
  1340. 302
  1341. 00:17:12,582 --> 00:17:13,548
  1342. <i>You need me to bring you
  1343. a change of clothes?</i>
  1344.  
  1345. 303
  1346. 00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:15,483
  1347. Uh, no, it's okay,
  1348. I got stuff at the hotel.
  1349.  
  1350. 304
  1351. 00:17:15,485 --> 00:17:17,387
  1352. <i>Have a good night. Love you!</i>
  1353.  
  1354. 305
  1355. 00:17:33,905 --> 00:17:35,372
  1356. I do want that drink.
  1357.  
  1358. 306
  1359. 00:17:36,573 --> 00:17:37,909
  1360. - Okay.
  1361. - And that is all.
  1362.  
  1363. 307
  1364. 00:17:38,542 --> 00:17:39,742
  1365. Okay.
  1366.  
  1367. 308
  1368. 00:17:39,744 --> 00:17:40,878
  1369. I'm not going to fuck you.
  1370.  
  1371. 309
  1372. 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,947
  1373. - Cool.
  1374. - And no more hand stuff either.
  1375.  
  1376. 310
  1377. 00:17:44,949 --> 00:17:46,347
  1378. That was horrible.
  1379.  
  1380. 311
  1381. 00:17:46,349 --> 00:17:47,852
  1382. I agree, that was horrible.
  1383.  
  1384. 312
  1385. 00:17:50,054 --> 00:17:51,486
  1386. Do you still want me to come in?
  1387.  
  1388. 313
  1389. 00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:52,690
  1390. More than ever.
  1391.  
  1392. 314
  1393. 00:17:55,827 --> 00:17:56,928
  1394. Okay.
  1395.  
  1396. 315
  1397. 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:06,301
  1398. I have, uh, vodka or vodka.
  1399.  
  1400. 316
  1401. 00:18:06,303 --> 00:18:07,404
  1402. Or some scotch.
  1403.  
  1404. 317
  1405. 00:18:08,371 --> 00:18:10,240
  1406. Uh, vodka, please.
  1407.  
  1408. 318
  1409. 00:18:10,675 --> 00:18:11,508
  1410. Okay.
  1411.  
  1412. 319
  1413. 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:16,679
  1414. So, um, I take it
  1415. you're from around here.
  1416.  
  1417. 320
  1418. 00:18:16,681 --> 00:18:20,283
  1419. Uh, yeah,
  1420. but I, I wasn't raised here.
  1421.  
  1422. 321
  1423. 00:18:20,785 --> 00:18:21,652
  1424. Oh, okay.
  1425.  
  1426. 322
  1427. 00:18:22,653 --> 00:18:23,821
  1428. And, um...
  1429.  
  1430. 323
  1431. 00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:28,525
  1432. what, what is your name?
  1433.  
  1434. 324
  1435. 00:18:32,997 --> 00:18:34,395
  1436. Are you serious?
  1437.  
  1438. 325
  1439. 00:18:34,397 --> 00:18:35,931
  1440. I don't think we said our names.
  1441.  
  1442. 326
  1443. 00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:37,902
  1444. We totally said our names.
  1445.  
  1446. 327
  1447. 00:18:41,005 --> 00:18:42,006
  1448. - What was it?
  1449. - We to...
  1450.  
  1451. 328
  1452. 00:18:43,507 --> 00:18:44,639
  1453. Dee.
  1454.  
  1455. 329
  1456. 00:18:44,641 --> 00:18:45,908
  1457. - Dee.
  1458. - Yeah.
  1459.  
  1460. 330
  1461. 00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:46,944
  1462. Short for?
  1463.  
  1464. 331
  1465. 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,577
  1466. Nothing,
  1467. just unimaginative parents.
  1468.  
  1469. 332
  1470. 00:18:49,579 --> 00:18:51,682
  1471. Oh. Well, I'm Tim.
  1472.  
  1473. 333
  1474. 00:18:52,582 --> 00:18:53,816
  1475. Short for Timothy.
  1476.  
  1477. 334
  1478. 00:18:53,818 --> 00:18:54,984
  1479. - Yes.
  1480. - Yes.
  1481.  
  1482. 335
  1483. 00:18:54,986 --> 00:18:57,487
  1484. I had very imaginative parents.
  1485.  
  1486. 336
  1487. 00:18:57,889 --> 00:19:00,522
  1488. Well, why aren't you drinking?
  1489.  
  1490. 337
  1491. 00:19:00,524 --> 00:19:02,524
  1492. Ah, just not much of a drinker.
  1493.  
  1494. 338
  1495. 00:19:02,526 --> 00:19:03,928
  1496. Yeah, clearly.
  1497.  
  1498. 339
  1499. 00:19:04,662 --> 00:19:05,562
  1500. Oh.
  1501.  
  1502. 340
  1503. 00:19:06,798 --> 00:19:09,767
  1504. I like to be prepared to drink,
  1505.  
  1506. 341
  1507. 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,502
  1508. just in case a party breaks out.
  1509.  
  1510. 342
  1511. 00:19:13,905 --> 00:19:15,472
  1512. So, was that a lie in your act?
  1513.  
  1514. 343
  1515. 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,674
  1516. I like to drink.
  1517. In fact, I love to drink
  1518.  
  1519. 344
  1520. 00:19:18,676 --> 00:19:20,778
  1521. 'cause I'm good at drinking.
  1522.  
  1523. 345
  1524. 00:19:21,145 --> 00:19:25,783
  1525. But drinking for me is not
  1526. a sophisticated activity.
  1527.  
  1528. 346
  1529. 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,385
  1530. You know those people
  1531. that have, like, a sip.
  1532.  
  1533. 347
  1534. 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:39,496
  1535. Oh, oh, oh.
  1536.  
  1537. 348
  1538. 00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:44,133
  1539. And they use words
  1540. like oaky or bouquet.
  1541.  
  1542. 349
  1543. 00:19:44,135 --> 00:19:47,404
  1544. Those people,
  1545. they make me want to...
  1546.  
  1547. 350
  1548. 00:19:48,773 --> 00:19:50,806
  1549. Well, they make me want to drink.
  1550.  
  1551. 351
  1552. 00:19:50,808 --> 00:19:53,510
  1553. They make me want to drink.
  1554. In fact, I have to drink
  1555.  
  1556. 352
  1557. 00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:55,512
  1558. if I hang out with those people.
  1559.  
  1560. 353
  1561. 00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:58,646
  1562. Okay, so, when a comedian says,
  1563.  
  1564. 354
  1565. 00:19:58,648 --> 00:20:00,749
  1566. "I went to the DMV yesterday."
  1567.  
  1568. 355
  1569. 00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:03,085
  1570. Yeah, that's, that's bullshit.
  1571.  
  1572. 356
  1573. 00:20:03,087 --> 00:20:05,154
  1574. I mean, he may have gone
  1575. to the DMV at some point,
  1576.  
  1577. 357
  1578. 00:20:05,156 --> 00:20:07,457
  1579. but definitely wasn't yesterday.
  1580.  
  1581. 358
  1582. 00:20:07,859 --> 00:20:09,459
  1583. Then why say yesterday?
  1584.  
  1585. 359
  1586. 00:20:09,827 --> 00:20:11,160
  1587. I don't know, I guess
  1588. it's funnier than saying,
  1589.  
  1590. 360
  1591. 00:20:11,162 --> 00:20:13,028
  1592. "I went to the DMV last year."
  1593.  
  1594. 361
  1595. 00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:14,830
  1596. Yeah, well, I think
  1597. it would be more funny.
  1598.  
  1599. 362
  1600. 00:20:14,832 --> 00:20:16,765
  1601. Then you're making fun
  1602. of the structure of the joke,
  1603.  
  1604. 363
  1605. 00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:19,434
  1606. in which case
  1607. you'd be an alt comic,
  1608.  
  1609. 364
  1610. 00:20:19,436 --> 00:20:21,636
  1611. but what happened
  1612. in the DMV has nothing
  1613.  
  1614. 365
  1615. 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:22,671
  1616. to do with the punchline.
  1617.  
  1618. 366
  1619. 00:20:22,673 --> 00:20:23,774
  1620. So then why tell the joke?
  1621.  
  1622. 367
  1623. 00:20:24,775 --> 00:20:25,910
  1624. That's a good question.
  1625.  
  1626. 368
  1627. 00:20:26,576 --> 00:20:27,477
  1628. So.
  1629.  
  1630. 369
  1631. 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,917
  1632. So was everything
  1633. in your act a lie?
  1634.  
  1635. 370
  1636. 00:20:33,516 --> 00:20:34,417
  1637. No.
  1638.  
  1639. 371
  1640. 00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:37,552
  1641. So you're married.
  1642.  
  1643. 372
  1644. 00:20:37,554 --> 00:20:38,888
  1645. Yeah, technically.
  1646.  
  1647. 373
  1648. 00:20:38,890 --> 00:20:39,991
  1649. I'm separated.
  1650.  
  1651. 374
  1652. 00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:44,128
  1653. Divorce papers
  1654. being drafted as we speak.
  1655.  
  1656. 375
  1657. 00:20:45,162 --> 00:20:46,063
  1658. I'm sorry.
  1659.  
  1660. 376
  1661. 00:20:47,464 --> 00:20:48,132
  1662. Yeah.
  1663.  
  1664. 377
  1665. 00:20:48,866 --> 00:20:50,134
  1666. And you're married.
  1667.  
  1668. 378
  1669. 00:20:50,935 --> 00:20:51,836
  1670. Yes.
  1671.  
  1672. 379
  1673. 00:20:53,804 --> 00:20:54,939
  1674. Two daughters.
  1675.  
  1676. 380
  1677. 00:21:01,478 --> 00:21:03,679
  1678. - Well, that's out of the way.
  1679. - Yeah, yeah.
  1680.  
  1681. 381
  1682. 00:21:03,681 --> 00:21:05,047
  1683. Yeah. Thought that
  1684. would be awkward.
  1685.  
  1686. 382
  1687. 00:21:05,049 --> 00:21:07,082
  1688. No, no.
  1689.  
  1690. 383
  1691. 00:21:07,084 --> 00:21:08,618
  1692. No, it's not awkward. That's...
  1693.  
  1694. 384
  1695. 00:21:09,854 --> 00:21:11,153
  1696. that's why
  1697. I'm having so much fun.
  1698.  
  1699. 385
  1700. 00:21:11,155 --> 00:21:13,556
  1701. - Yeah, right?
  1702. - Yes.
  1703.  
  1704. 386
  1705. 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:17,695
  1706. Do you have any drugs?
  1707.  
  1708. 387
  1709. 00:21:19,864 --> 00:21:20,765
  1710. Um.
  1711.  
  1712. 388
  1713. 00:21:22,066 --> 00:21:23,265
  1714. I have Xanax.
  1715.  
  1716. 389
  1717. 00:21:23,267 --> 00:21:24,601
  1718. Oh, do you have anxiety issues?
  1719.  
  1720. 390
  1721. 00:21:25,036 --> 00:21:26,704
  1722. I mean, not diagnosed.
  1723.  
  1724. 391
  1725. 00:21:28,272 --> 00:21:30,906
  1726. These are actually my wife's. I steal
  1727. them from her when I pick up my son,
  1728.  
  1729. 392
  1730. 00:21:30,908 --> 00:21:33,175
  1731. little by little.
  1732. Put them in my men's
  1733.  
  1734. 393
  1735. 00:21:33,177 --> 00:21:35,578
  1736. multivitamin with
  1737. testosterone booster.
  1738.  
  1739. 394
  1740. 00:21:36,013 --> 00:21:37,214
  1741. - Sneaky.
  1742. - Yeah.
  1743.  
  1744. 395
  1745. 00:21:37,949 --> 00:21:39,850
  1746. - Can I have half of one?
  1747. - Tell you what.
  1748.  
  1749. 396
  1750. 00:21:40,751 --> 00:21:44,753
  1751. I'll give you a whole one
  1752. and you can portion it out
  1753.  
  1754. 397
  1755. 00:21:44,755 --> 00:21:46,223
  1756. however you see fit.
  1757.  
  1758. 398
  1759. 00:21:46,924 --> 00:21:47,825
  1760. Thank you.
  1761.  
  1762. 399
  1763. 00:21:52,296 --> 00:21:53,798
  1764. My husband's cheating on me.
  1765.  
  1766. 400
  1767. 00:21:55,666 --> 00:21:56,566
  1768. Oh.
  1769.  
  1770. 401
  1771. 00:21:58,102 --> 00:21:59,902
  1772. Well, then he sounds
  1773. like a real asshole.
  1774.  
  1775. 402
  1776. 00:21:59,904 --> 00:22:01,939
  1777. Yeah,
  1778. I'm one to talk.
  1779.  
  1780. 403
  1781. 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,807
  1782. Does he know that you know?
  1783.  
  1784. 404
  1785. 00:22:04,809 --> 00:22:07,610
  1786. Nope, it's just been
  1787. business as usual.
  1788.  
  1789. 405
  1790. 00:22:08,913 --> 00:22:10,079
  1791. For how long?
  1792.  
  1793. 406
  1794. 00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:11,814
  1795. - Almost a year.
  1796. - Really?
  1797.  
  1798. 407
  1799. 00:22:11,816 --> 00:22:13,682
  1800. Yeah, I've been watching it
  1801. continue to happen
  1802.  
  1803. 408
  1804. 00:22:13,684 --> 00:22:14,885
  1805. like a television show.
  1806.  
  1807. 409
  1808. 00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,856
  1809. I thought I was good
  1810. at nurturing misery.
  1811.  
  1812. 410
  1813. 00:22:19,790 --> 00:22:20,825
  1814. How'd you find out?
  1815.  
  1816. 411
  1817. 00:22:22,827 --> 00:22:26,128
  1818. He left an email open on the
  1819. family computer and I've been...
  1820.  
  1821. 412
  1822. 00:22:26,130 --> 00:22:28,897
  1823. - Okay.
  1824. - ...checking his account daily.
  1825.  
  1826. 413
  1827. 00:22:28,899 --> 00:22:31,166
  1828. No offense, but your husband
  1829. doesn't sound too bright.
  1830.  
  1831. 414
  1832. 00:22:31,168 --> 00:22:32,502
  1833. None taken.
  1834.  
  1835. 415
  1836. 00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:38,107
  1837. Um, I actually
  1838. have to take this.
  1839.  
  1840. 416
  1841. 00:22:38,109 --> 00:22:40,177
  1842. - Oh.
  1843. - That's okay, you stay right here.
  1844.  
  1845. 417
  1846. 00:22:41,112 --> 00:22:42,146
  1847. Okay.
  1848.  
  1849. 418
  1850. 00:22:43,147 --> 00:22:45,116
  1851. Hey, what the fuck?
  1852. I've been trying to get...
  1853.  
  1854. 419
  1855. 00:22:46,183 --> 00:22:47,818
  1856. Well, how about
  1857. a text message then?
  1858.  
  1859. 420
  1860. 00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:50,221
  1861. Well, for fuck's sake.
  1862.  
  1863. 421
  1864. 00:22:51,689 --> 00:22:52,757
  1865. I'm checking in.
  1866.  
  1867. 422
  1868. 00:22:54,992 --> 00:22:56,794
  1869. I don't know, um.
  1870.  
  1871. 423
  1872. 00:22:57,728 --> 00:22:59,096
  1873. I can overnight the checks.
  1874.  
  1875. 424
  1876. 00:23:00,197 --> 00:23:01,766
  1877. I said I'll overnight them.
  1878.  
  1879. 425
  1880. 00:23:02,733 --> 00:23:04,001
  1881. Is he asleep already?
  1882.  
  1883. 426
  1884. 00:23:07,038 --> 00:23:09,707
  1885. Oh, fuck. That was today?
  1886.  
  1887. 427
  1888. 00:23:10,941 --> 00:23:12,043
  1889. I missed it?
  1890.  
  1891. 428
  1892. 00:23:13,878 --> 00:23:17,014
  1893. No, I will, yeah, I got him
  1894. a little, like, stuffed moose.
  1895.  
  1896. 429
  1897. 00:23:18,115 --> 00:23:21,018
  1898. A moose from
  1899. Minnesota.
  1900.  
  1901. 430
  1902. 00:23:21,819 --> 00:23:22,753
  1903. No.
  1904.  
  1905. 431
  1906. 00:23:23,721 --> 00:23:25,555
  1907. No, don't wake him.
  1908.  
  1909. 432
  1910. 00:23:27,024 --> 00:23:28,259
  1911. What's he sleeping in?
  1912.  
  1913. 433
  1914. 00:23:29,693 --> 00:23:30,895
  1915. No, which pajamas.
  1916.  
  1917. 434
  1918. 00:23:33,097 --> 00:23:35,632
  1919. Aw, he loves those.
  1920.  
  1921. 435
  1922. 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,802
  1923. Can you just tell him
  1924. that I called?
  1925.  
  1926. 436
  1927. 00:23:39,370 --> 00:23:40,603
  1928. All right, bye.
  1929.  
  1930. 437
  1931. 00:23:49,046 --> 00:23:50,014
  1932. So, which ones?
  1933.  
  1934. 438
  1935. 00:23:51,115 --> 00:23:52,316
  1936. What?
  1937.  
  1938. 439
  1939. 00:23:53,751 --> 00:23:54,652
  1940. Which pajamas?
  1941.  
  1942. 440
  1943. 00:23:56,220 --> 00:23:59,123
  1944. Oh, um, the dinosaurs.
  1945.  
  1946. 441
  1947. 00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:03,294
  1948. Because you're crazy
  1949. about dinosaurs.
  1950.  
  1951. 442
  1952. 00:24:14,405 --> 00:24:15,706
  1953. Will you do me a favor?
  1954.  
  1955. 443
  1956. 00:24:16,407 --> 00:24:17,708
  1957. Maybe.
  1958.  
  1959. 444
  1960. 00:24:18,175 --> 00:24:19,877
  1961. Can you stomp on my cellphone?
  1962.  
  1963. 445
  1964. 00:24:20,444 --> 00:24:21,644
  1965. What?
  1966.  
  1967. 446
  1968. 00:24:22,645 --> 00:24:24,346
  1969. Well, you're wearing
  1970. those sweet fucking boots
  1971.  
  1972. 447
  1973. 00:24:24,348 --> 00:24:26,215
  1974. and I don't really feel like
  1975. putting my shoes back on,
  1976.  
  1977. 448
  1978. 00:24:26,217 --> 00:24:28,819
  1979. and it would mean a lot to me
  1980. if you would stomp
  1981.  
  1982. 449
  1983. 00:24:29,753 --> 00:24:33,388
  1984. the fucking shit out of
  1985. this goddamn cellphone.
  1986.  
  1987. 450
  1988. 00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:34,925
  1989. Not happy with your plan?
  1990.  
  1991. 451
  1992. 00:24:36,260 --> 00:24:37,361
  1993. Something like that.
  1994.  
  1995. 452
  1996. 00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:41,832
  1997. - Oh, you're serious?
  1998. - Oh, I'm serious.
  1999.  
  2000. 453
  2001. 00:24:42,233 --> 00:24:43,334
  2002. I'll do it.
  2003.  
  2004. 454
  2005. 00:24:44,668 --> 00:24:46,902
  2006. - I want you to.
  2007. - I think you just want to see if I'll do it,
  2008.  
  2009. 455
  2010. 00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:50,674
  2011. but I'm, I'm telling you
  2012. I will, I will do it.
  2013.  
  2014. 456
  2015. 00:24:51,108 --> 00:24:52,774
  2016. Then quit talking
  2017. about it and fuck...
  2018.  
  2019. 457
  2020. 00:25:04,288 --> 00:25:06,288
  2021. I can't believe
  2022. you just fucking did that.
  2023.  
  2024. 458
  2025. 00:25:06,290 --> 00:25:07,723
  2026. Well.
  2027.  
  2028. 459
  2029. 00:25:07,725 --> 00:25:09,260
  2030. - That's my phone!
  2031. - I call bluffs!
  2032.  
  2033. 460
  2034. 00:25:10,728 --> 00:25:11,862
  2035. You're lucky I wasn't bluffing.
  2036.  
  2037. 461
  2038. 00:25:15,499 --> 00:25:16,700
  2039. Do you need to get that?
  2040.  
  2041. 462
  2042. 00:25:17,434 --> 00:25:18,669
  2043. Yeah.
  2044.  
  2045. 463
  2046. 00:25:19,470 --> 00:25:21,003
  2047. Should I...
  2048.  
  2049. 464
  2050. 00:25:21,005 --> 00:25:22,740
  2051. - Yeah, you probably should go.
  2052. - Oh.
  2053.  
  2054. 465
  2055. 00:25:23,207 --> 00:25:26,875
  2056. No, no, actually, just sit
  2057. right there, please.
  2058.  
  2059. 466
  2060. 00:25:26,877 --> 00:25:28,846
  2061. And for God sakes, pour
  2062. yourself a drink, would you?
  2063.  
  2064. 467
  2065. 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:30,781
  2066. Okay, yeah.
  2067.  
  2068. 468
  2069. 00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:32,349
  2070. Hey.
  2071.  
  2072. 469
  2073. 00:25:33,484 --> 00:25:35,119
  2074. Uh, no.
  2075.  
  2076. 470
  2077. 00:25:36,020 --> 00:25:37,454
  2078. Well, why'd you
  2079. call the front desk?
  2080.  
  2081. 471
  2082. 00:25:39,323 --> 00:25:42,324
  2083. No, well, she came back
  2084. because she was feeling better
  2085.  
  2086. 472
  2087. 00:25:42,326 --> 00:25:44,061
  2088. and she just came back
  2089. to finish her shift, so.
  2090.  
  2091. 473
  2092. 00:25:46,197 --> 00:25:48,766
  2093. No, I'm, I'm on my way home now.
  2094.  
  2095. 474
  2096. 00:25:49,900 --> 00:25:51,068
  2097. Yeah, okay.
  2098.  
  2099. 475
  2100. 00:25:52,203 --> 00:25:53,237
  2101. Okay, bye.
  2102.  
  2103. 476
  2104. 00:26:14,959 --> 00:26:17,328
  2105. Yeah, um, hey, ah.
  2106.  
  2107. 477
  2108. 00:26:18,329 --> 00:26:22,197
  2109. That was, um, that was,
  2110. that was a lie.
  2111.  
  2112. 478
  2113. 00:26:22,199 --> 00:26:27,438
  2114. I'm actually still here
  2115. and, um, I'm, I'm with a man
  2116.  
  2117. 479
  2118. 00:26:28,272 --> 00:26:31,540
  2119. and he's hilarious
  2120. and he's going to help me
  2121.  
  2122. 480
  2123. 00:26:31,542 --> 00:26:36,280
  2124. figure out a way to kill your
  2125. girlfriend, you fucking prick!
  2126.  
  2127. 481
  2128. 00:26:58,602 --> 00:27:00,871
  2129. Well, this bullshit
  2130. just got real.
  2131.  
  2132. 482
  2133. 00:27:04,241 --> 00:27:06,010
  2134. I tell you what
  2135. I like about Minnesota.
  2136.  
  2137. 483
  2138. 00:27:06,377 --> 00:27:10,078
  2139. I like all the layers of
  2140. clothing that you guys wear.
  2141.  
  2142. 484
  2143. 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:14,485
  2144. I really do. Because, because you
  2145. know what I miss in this country?
  2146.  
  2147. 485
  2148. 00:27:15,586 --> 00:27:18,022
  2149. I miss shame.
  2150.  
  2151. 486
  2152. 00:27:18,455 --> 00:27:21,089
  2153. Just 'cause
  2154. they make it in your size
  2155.  
  2156. 487
  2157. 00:27:21,091 --> 00:27:23,560
  2158. does not mean that
  2159. you should wear it.
  2160.  
  2161. 488
  2162. 00:27:24,561 --> 00:27:30,868
  2163. Right? You know, I mean, if you got,
  2164. if you got cleavage on your back,
  2165.  
  2166. 489
  2167. 00:27:31,568 --> 00:27:32,936
  2168. you cover it up.
  2169.  
  2170. 490
  2171. 00:27:34,071 --> 00:27:40,210
  2172. If you got a nice butt on
  2173. your front, you cover it up.
  2174.  
  2175. 491
  2176. 00:27:40,611 --> 00:27:43,580
  2177. No, sir!
  2178. I don't want to look at that.
  2179.  
  2180. 492
  2181. 00:27:45,282 --> 00:27:47,184
  2182. So, why don't you
  2183. like alt comics?
  2184.  
  2185. 493
  2186. 00:27:47,584 --> 00:27:50,118
  2187. I never said I don't like
  2188. alt comics.
  2189.  
  2190. 494
  2191. 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:51,953
  2192. - Oh, so you like them.
  2193. - No, I hate them.
  2194.  
  2195. 495
  2196. 00:27:51,955 --> 00:27:54,323
  2197. - Why?
  2198. - Why?
  2199.  
  2200. 496
  2201. 00:27:54,325 --> 00:27:56,925
  2202. - Yeah.
  2203. - Because they're younger than me
  2204.  
  2205. 497
  2206. 00:27:56,927 --> 00:27:59,561
  2207. - and they're cooler than me.
  2208. - That's not why. Tell me.
  2209.  
  2210. 498
  2211. 00:27:59,563 --> 00:28:01,930
  2212. Because the joke of
  2213. everyone and their jokes
  2214.  
  2215. 499
  2216. 00:28:01,932 --> 00:28:04,466
  2217. - is that they're telling a bad joke, right?
  2218. - Yeah.
  2219.  
  2220. 500
  2221. 00:28:04,468 --> 00:28:07,102
  2222. So, we're just laughing
  2223. at this dumb thing
  2224.  
  2225. 501
  2226. 00:28:07,104 --> 00:28:09,006
  2227. that we're experiencing
  2228. instead of like...
  2229.  
  2230. 502
  2231. 00:28:09,373 --> 00:28:10,372
  2232. Experiencing it?
  2233.  
  2234. 503
  2235. 00:28:10,374 --> 00:28:11,408
  2236. - Right.
  2237. - Ah.
  2238.  
  2239. 504
  2240. 00:28:12,576 --> 00:28:16,311
  2241. I mean, if we just keep making
  2242. fun of making fun of shit,
  2243.  
  2244. 505
  2245. 00:28:16,313 --> 00:28:18,582
  2246. instead of actually
  2247. making fun of shit,
  2248.  
  2249. 506
  2250. 00:28:19,216 --> 00:28:21,550
  2251. - what are we doing?
  2252. - I think we're observing things
  2253.  
  2254. 507
  2255. 00:28:21,552 --> 00:28:23,552
  2256. that are like,
  2257. right in front of our face,
  2258.  
  2259. 508
  2260. 00:28:23,554 --> 00:28:26,924
  2261. instead of just
  2262. what's actually happening.
  2263.  
  2264. 509
  2265. 00:28:27,424 --> 00:28:29,157
  2266. Uh, I don't know.
  2267.  
  2268. 510
  2269. 00:28:29,159 --> 00:28:31,326
  2270. You lost me.
  2271. Where's your waffle maker?
  2272.  
  2273. 511
  2274. 00:28:31,328 --> 00:28:33,597
  2275. Um, over there,
  2276. and the batter's underneath.
  2277.  
  2278. 512
  2279. 00:28:35,667 --> 00:28:39,203
  2280. Hey, do you know what,
  2281. um, CFNM is?
  2282.  
  2283. 513
  2284. 00:28:39,570 --> 00:28:42,437
  2285. CFNM? Uh.
  2286. Oh, is that like a porn thing?
  2287.  
  2288. 514
  2289. 00:28:42,439 --> 00:28:45,140
  2290. Yeah. But do you know
  2291. what it actually means?
  2292.  
  2293. 515
  2294. 00:28:45,142 --> 00:28:47,010
  2295. No, I've always been
  2296. too scared to click on it.
  2297.  
  2298. 516
  2299. 00:28:47,544 --> 00:28:50,414
  2300. What's the worst possible
  2301. thing it could mean?
  2302.  
  2303. 517
  2304. 00:28:52,116 --> 00:28:55,119
  2305. Crying Faces Noisy Masturbators.
  2306.  
  2307. 518
  2308. 00:28:55,519 --> 00:28:57,988
  2309. Okay. Um.
  2310.  
  2311. 519
  2312. 00:28:58,656 --> 00:29:01,158
  2313. Cunnilingus For Nicki Minaj.
  2314.  
  2315. 520
  2316. 00:29:02,126 --> 00:29:03,992
  2317. Creepy Filthy Nasty Maids.
  2318.  
  2319. 521
  2320. 00:29:03,994 --> 00:29:05,661
  2321. Crispy Fried Nut Manglers.
  2322.  
  2323. 522
  2324. 00:29:05,663 --> 00:29:07,195
  2325. Oh.
  2326.  
  2327. 523
  2328. 00:29:07,197 --> 00:29:09,665
  2329. Cowboys Forcing Nipple Milk in.
  2330.  
  2331. 524
  2332. 00:29:09,667 --> 00:29:12,735
  2333. Cunts Fart Menstruating Nuns.
  2334.  
  2335. 525
  2336. 00:29:12,737 --> 00:29:15,472
  2337. Ooh, you win.
  2338.  
  2339. 526
  2340. 00:29:16,974 --> 00:29:18,741
  2341. My husband's into it big time.
  2342.  
  2343. 527
  2344. 00:29:18,743 --> 00:29:20,375
  2345. - Really?
  2346. - Yep.
  2347.  
  2348. 528
  2349. 00:29:20,377 --> 00:29:22,077
  2350. But like, what does it
  2351. actually stand for?
  2352.  
  2353. 529
  2354. 00:29:22,079 --> 00:29:24,381
  2355. Clothed Female Naked Male.
  2356.  
  2357. 530
  2358. 00:29:25,015 --> 00:29:27,983
  2359. - Clothed Female Naked Male?
  2360. - Mm-hmm. Yeah.
  2361.  
  2362. 531
  2363. 00:29:27,985 --> 00:29:31,486
  2364. So just like, a naked dude
  2365. and a dressed chick?
  2366.  
  2367. 532
  2368. 00:29:31,488 --> 00:29:34,356
  2369. It's like a naked dude and
  2370. like several dressed chicks.
  2371.  
  2372. 533
  2373. 00:29:34,358 --> 00:29:37,426
  2374. But, you know, like, one of
  2375. them is going down on him while
  2376.  
  2377. 534
  2378. 00:29:37,428 --> 00:29:39,261
  2379. the other one's maybe
  2380. going to give him a handy.
  2381.  
  2382. 535
  2383. 00:29:39,263 --> 00:29:42,431
  2384. It's basically just, like,
  2385. a real slutty bachelorette party
  2386.  
  2387. 536
  2388. 00:29:42,433 --> 00:29:44,232
  2389. that's gone off the rails.
  2390.  
  2391. 537
  2392. 00:29:44,234 --> 00:29:46,501
  2393. All right, well, I don't want
  2394. to yuck anyone's yum,
  2395.  
  2396. 538
  2397. 00:29:46,503 --> 00:29:48,671
  2398. but that's his thing?
  2399.  
  2400. 539
  2401. 00:29:48,673 --> 00:29:49,973
  2402. Well, not with me.
  2403.  
  2404. 540
  2405. 00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:52,441
  2406. It's, it's just what
  2407. I consistently
  2408.  
  2409. 541
  2410. 00:29:52,443 --> 00:29:54,109
  2411. see in his search browser.
  2412.  
  2413. 542
  2414. 00:29:54,111 --> 00:29:56,180
  2415. - Oh, you got to clear that shit.
  2416. - I know, right?
  2417.  
  2418. 543
  2419. 00:29:57,181 --> 00:29:58,215
  2420. Excuse me, sir.
  2421.  
  2422. 544
  2423. 00:29:59,249 --> 00:30:01,483
  2424. Oh, hey, Ruthie. He's with me.
  2425. You remember Tim.
  2426.  
  2427. 545
  2428. 00:30:01,485 --> 00:30:03,520
  2429. Oh, yeah. Hi there.
  2430.  
  2431. 546
  2432. 00:30:05,122 --> 00:30:07,222
  2433. Don't say that.
  2434. She would be great.
  2435.  
  2436. 547
  2437. 00:30:07,224 --> 00:30:09,224
  2438. I'm not saying that
  2439. she wouldn't be great,
  2440.  
  2441. 548
  2442. 00:30:09,226 --> 00:30:11,560
  2443. I'm saying that she wouldn't
  2444. even want to do it.
  2445.  
  2446. 549
  2447. 00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:13,195
  2448. - Okay, so, why do you do it?
  2449. - Because,
  2450.  
  2451. 550
  2452. 00:30:13,197 --> 00:30:15,132
  2453. I can't do anything else.
  2454. I'm not capable.
  2455.  
  2456. 551
  2457. 00:30:15,632 --> 00:30:17,599
  2458. - Bullshit.
  2459. - What do you mean, bullshit?
  2460.  
  2461. 552
  2462. 00:30:17,601 --> 00:30:19,301
  2463. - Do you have a day job?
  2464. - No.
  2465.  
  2466. 553
  2467. 00:30:19,303 --> 00:30:21,737
  2468. You don't have to be mad at her,
  2469.  
  2470. 554
  2471. 00:30:21,739 --> 00:30:24,306
  2472. - it's a legitimate question.
  2473. - Okay, look.
  2474.  
  2475. 555
  2476. 00:30:24,308 --> 00:30:27,242
  2477. There's a lot of guys
  2478. like me that make a living,
  2479.  
  2480. 556
  2481. 00:30:27,244 --> 00:30:28,811
  2482. and just 'cause
  2483. you don't know our names...
  2484.  
  2485. 557
  2486. 00:30:28,813 --> 00:30:31,379
  2487. Well, how'd you get
  2488. on HBO or Comedy Central?
  2489.  
  2490. 558
  2491. 00:30:31,381 --> 00:30:33,281
  2492. - What?
  2493. - No, they said it in your intro.
  2494.  
  2495. 559
  2496. 00:30:33,283 --> 00:30:34,585
  2497. Yeah, that's a lie.
  2498.  
  2499. 560
  2500. 00:30:35,219 --> 00:30:37,252
  2501. - Really?
  2502. - You can do that?
  2503.  
  2504. 561
  2505. 00:30:37,254 --> 00:30:39,256
  2506. Lie? Yeah, you can lie.
  2507.  
  2508. 562
  2509. 00:30:39,691 --> 00:30:42,390
  2510. But I haven't had
  2511. a day job in six years
  2512.  
  2513. 563
  2514. 00:30:42,392 --> 00:30:44,794
  2515. and I make all my money
  2516. from being on the road.
  2517.  
  2518. 564
  2519. 00:30:44,796 --> 00:30:46,628
  2520. Oh, okay, well,
  2521. that's super cool.
  2522.  
  2523. 565
  2524. 00:30:46,630 --> 00:30:50,398
  2525. No, it's not. I mean, yeah,
  2526. maybe it's cool to someone
  2527.  
  2528. 566
  2529. 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:51,801
  2530. who's interested in comedy
  2531.  
  2532. 567
  2533. 00:30:51,803 --> 00:30:54,603
  2534. who lives in International
  2535. Falls, Minnesota,
  2536.  
  2537. 568
  2538. 00:30:54,605 --> 00:30:56,273
  2539. but not really.
  2540.  
  2541. 569
  2542. 00:30:57,140 --> 00:30:59,207
  2543. Well, you don't got to be
  2544. a dick about it.
  2545.  
  2546. 570
  2547. 00:30:59,209 --> 00:31:00,542
  2548. I'm not trying to be a dick.
  2549.  
  2550. 571
  2551. 00:31:00,544 --> 00:31:03,512
  2552. Okay, do you want
  2553. the comedy boot camp?
  2554.  
  2555. 572
  2556. 00:31:03,514 --> 00:31:06,849
  2557. Here we go. I don't know shit
  2558. about getting in movies
  2559.  
  2560. 573
  2561. 00:31:06,851 --> 00:31:10,285
  2562. or getting on a sitcom or
  2563. getting my own Netflix special.
  2564.  
  2565. 574
  2566. 00:31:10,287 --> 00:31:12,621
  2567. But if you want
  2568. to get to my level,
  2569.  
  2570. 575
  2571. 00:31:12,623 --> 00:31:15,190
  2572. you just get nice and mediocre.
  2573.  
  2574. 576
  2575. 00:31:15,192 --> 00:31:17,559
  2576. Just go to a fuck
  2577. load of open mics,
  2578.  
  2579. 577
  2580. 00:31:17,561 --> 00:31:20,763
  2581. and then one day
  2582. some guy will come along,
  2583.  
  2584. 578
  2585. 00:31:20,765 --> 00:31:23,666
  2586. who has no real taste
  2587. or talent, but will see
  2588.  
  2589. 579
  2590. 00:31:23,668 --> 00:31:26,301
  2591. that he can make a little
  2592. bit of money off of you.
  2593.  
  2594. 580
  2595. 00:31:26,303 --> 00:31:29,337
  2596. But by that point, you'll be
  2597. so fucking hungry for any kind
  2598.  
  2599. 581
  2600. 00:31:29,339 --> 00:31:31,408
  2601. of approval, that you'll do
  2602. anything that he says.
  2603.  
  2604. 582
  2605. 00:31:32,442 --> 00:31:34,444
  2606. There. You're a comedian.
  2607.  
  2608. 583
  2609. 00:31:37,347 --> 00:31:40,148
  2610. Oh, shoot,
  2611. there's the phone.
  2612.  
  2613. 584
  2614. 00:31:40,150 --> 00:31:41,318
  2615. Excuse me.
  2616.  
  2617. 585
  2618. 00:31:47,457 --> 00:31:48,492
  2619. So, um.
  2620.  
  2621. 586
  2622. 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,260
  2623. - How are you feeling?
  2624. - Well,
  2625.  
  2626. 587
  2627. 00:31:52,262 --> 00:31:55,765
  2628. I don't know if it's this
  2629. or that little blue pill
  2630.  
  2631. 588
  2632. 00:31:55,767 --> 00:32:01,138
  2633. or the combo, but I'm starting
  2634. to feel pretty sleepy.
  2635.  
  2636. 589
  2637. 00:32:01,773 --> 00:32:03,338
  2638. Me too.
  2639.  
  2640. 590
  2641. 00:32:03,340 --> 00:32:05,240
  2642. I'm not
  2643. going to fuck you.
  2644.  
  2645. 591
  2646. 00:32:05,242 --> 00:32:06,742
  2647. - I know.
  2648. - Mm-hmm.
  2649.  
  2650. 592
  2651. 00:32:06,744 --> 00:32:08,577
  2652. But you're not going
  2653. to drive home either.
  2654.  
  2655. 593
  2656. 00:32:08,579 --> 00:32:09,479
  2657. You're right.
  2658.  
  2659. 594
  2660. 00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:10,882
  2661. I know I'm right.
  2662.  
  2663. 595
  2664. 00:32:14,752 --> 00:32:16,721
  2665. So what do these tattoos mean?
  2666.  
  2667. 596
  2668. 00:32:19,590 --> 00:32:21,491
  2669. - I don't know.
  2670. - Yes, you do.
  2671.  
  2672. 597
  2673. 00:32:23,761 --> 00:32:25,128
  2674. I don't want to tell you.
  2675.  
  2676. 598
  2677. 00:32:26,898 --> 00:32:28,465
  2678. That's obnoxious.
  2679.  
  2680. 599
  2681. 00:32:29,333 --> 00:32:30,565
  2682. You're obnoxious.
  2683.  
  2684. 600
  2685. 00:32:30,567 --> 00:32:33,470
  2686. Well, tough shit.
  2687.  
  2688. 601
  2689. 00:32:35,305 --> 00:32:36,239
  2690. Hey.
  2691.  
  2692. 602
  2693. 00:32:37,775 --> 00:32:42,145
  2694. If I have to mail something,
  2695. can you mail stuff here?
  2696.  
  2697. 603
  2698. 00:32:44,916 --> 00:32:50,655
  2699. Are you asking if we can send
  2700. and receive U.S. mail here?
  2701.  
  2702. 604
  2703. 00:32:51,288 --> 00:32:53,789
  2704. - Yes, I am.
  2705. - In this, in this town?
  2706.  
  2707. 605
  2708. 00:32:53,791 --> 00:32:55,359
  2709. - That's what I'm asking.
  2710. - Mm-hmm.
  2711.  
  2712. 606
  2713. 00:32:57,829 --> 00:32:59,196
  2714. Yeah, we can do that.
  2715.  
  2716. 607
  2717. 00:32:59,897 --> 00:33:01,699
  2718. - Okay?
  2719. - Thank you.
  2720.  
  2721. 608
  2722. 00:33:04,568 --> 00:33:05,469
  2723. Hey.
  2724.  
  2725. 609
  2726. 00:33:08,572 --> 00:33:09,674
  2727. Don't rape me, okay?
  2728.  
  2729. 610
  2730. 00:33:10,875 --> 00:33:12,609
  2731. Don't rape me.
  2732.  
  2733. 611
  2734. 00:33:15,212 --> 00:33:15,913
  2735. I'm serious.
  2736.  
  2737. 612
  2738. 00:33:18,515 --> 00:33:21,485
  2739. I know, I just think it's so sad
  2740. that you have to say that.
  2741.  
  2742. 613
  2743. 00:33:23,988 --> 00:33:24,889
  2744. Go to sleep.
  2745.  
  2746. 614
  2747. 00:33:37,634 --> 00:33:40,468
  2748. Literally, the reason
  2749. I got into this line of work
  2750.  
  2751. 615
  2752. 00:33:40,470 --> 00:33:42,672
  2753. was to sleep late,
  2754. and now you've fucked that up.
  2755.  
  2756. 616
  2757. 00:33:42,674 --> 00:33:45,407
  2758. Well, I just thought it was
  2759. important to show you the fancy
  2760.  
  2761. 617
  2762. 00:33:45,409 --> 00:33:47,845
  2763. building that
  2764. you can mail stuff from.
  2765.  
  2766. 618
  2767. 00:33:48,813 --> 00:33:49,714
  2768. Ooh.
  2769.  
  2770. 619
  2771. 00:33:50,815 --> 00:33:52,182
  2772. Oh, this is nice.
  2773.  
  2774. 620
  2775. 00:33:53,283 --> 00:33:55,685
  2776. - Well, good morning, Dee.
  2777. - Good morning, Walt.
  2778.  
  2779. 621
  2780. 00:33:55,687 --> 00:33:59,354
  2781. - What can I do for you?
  2782. - Um, well, this is Tim, he's from out of town
  2783.  
  2784. 622
  2785. 00:33:59,356 --> 00:34:00,756
  2786. and he needs to mail a package,
  2787.  
  2788. 623
  2789. 00:34:00,758 --> 00:34:02,892
  2790. so I want to put it
  2791. on the hotel's tab,
  2792.  
  2793. 624
  2794. 00:34:02,894 --> 00:34:05,995
  2795. uh, seeing as how he's kind of,
  2796. kind of a VIP.
  2797.  
  2798. 625
  2799. 00:34:05,997 --> 00:34:09,297
  2800. Is that right? What a treat!
  2801.  
  2802. 626
  2803. 00:34:09,299 --> 00:34:11,936
  2804. Yeah, hmm, here's my very
  2805. important paycheck.
  2806.  
  2807. 627
  2808. 00:34:12,770 --> 00:34:14,369
  2809. Do you still want
  2810. to be a comedian?
  2811.  
  2812. 628
  2813. 00:34:14,371 --> 00:34:16,504
  2814. Hmm. More than ever.
  2815.  
  2816. 629
  2817. 00:34:16,506 --> 00:34:19,407
  2818. Okay. Could you mail that
  2819. to that address, please?
  2820.  
  2821. 630
  2822. 00:34:19,409 --> 00:34:22,379
  2823. - You got it.
  2824. - Oh, and uh, yeah, this too.
  2825.  
  2826. 631
  2827. 00:34:23,647 --> 00:34:25,515
  2828. And who's this little guy for.
  2829.  
  2830. 632
  2831. 00:34:26,349 --> 00:34:28,820
  2832. - Uh, it's for my son.
  2833. - Oh, that's great.
  2834.  
  2835. 633
  2836. 00:34:29,687 --> 00:34:30,955
  2837. What's your son's name?
  2838.  
  2839. 634
  2840. 00:34:35,727 --> 00:34:36,792
  2841. Okay, you don't
  2842. have to tell me...
  2843.  
  2844. 635
  2845. 00:34:36,794 --> 00:34:38,228
  2846. Sean, his name is Sean.
  2847.  
  2848. 636
  2849. 00:34:38,863 --> 00:34:39,897
  2850. How old is he?
  2851.  
  2852. 637
  2853. 00:34:40,932 --> 00:34:44,234
  2854. - He's eight.
  2855. - Oh, now, that's a fun age.
  2856.  
  2857. 638
  2858. 00:34:45,435 --> 00:34:49,471
  2859. It is a fun age. He actually has
  2860. just, kind of, really gotten into
  2861.  
  2862. 639
  2863. 00:34:49,473 --> 00:34:53,310
  2864. exploring down here, so just
  2865. constantly just cranking.
  2866.  
  2867. 640
  2868. 00:34:53,778 --> 00:34:56,246
  2869. Well, uh, we're all set, uh.
  2870.  
  2871. 641
  2872. 00:34:56,748 --> 00:34:59,849
  2873. They'll pick this up around
  2874. noon and, uh, off she goes.
  2875.  
  2876. 642
  2877. 00:34:59,851 --> 00:35:01,316
  2878. Thanks so much.
  2879.  
  2880. 643
  2881. 00:35:01,318 --> 00:35:02,417
  2882. Have a blessed day.
  2883.  
  2884. 644
  2885. 00:35:02,419 --> 00:35:03,553
  2886. Yes.
  2887.  
  2888. 645
  2889. 00:35:06,456 --> 00:35:07,892
  2890. No, it's still cold.
  2891.  
  2892. 646
  2893. 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:09,959
  2894. Come on!
  2895.  
  2896. 647
  2897. 00:35:09,961 --> 00:35:11,727
  2898. - Yeah.
  2899. - All right, where to?
  2900.  
  2901. 648
  2902. 00:35:11,729 --> 00:35:14,395
  2903. - Uh, let's go on a walk.
  2904. - No, fuck you, it's too cold.
  2905.  
  2906. 649
  2907. 00:35:14,397 --> 00:35:16,699
  2908. Well, you know,
  2909. you're wearing a summer coat
  2910.  
  2911. 650
  2912. 00:35:16,701 --> 00:35:19,534
  2913. in the middle of the ice
  2914. box of the nation.
  2915.  
  2916. 651
  2917. 00:35:19,536 --> 00:35:20,905
  2918. This is my winter coat.
  2919.  
  2920. 652
  2921. 00:35:21,538 --> 00:35:22,772
  2922. You know what?
  2923.  
  2924. 653
  2925. 00:35:22,774 --> 00:35:23,808
  2926. - Hang on.
  2927. - No.
  2928.  
  2929. 654
  2930. 00:35:24,374 --> 00:35:25,475
  2931. No, don't leave me.
  2932.  
  2933. 655
  2934. 00:35:25,877 --> 00:35:26,911
  2935. No.
  2936.  
  2937. 656
  2938. 00:35:29,046 --> 00:35:30,347
  2939. Ah, my nipples.
  2940.  
  2941. 657
  2942. 00:35:32,717 --> 00:35:34,016
  2943. Okay, here, put this on.
  2944.  
  2945. 658
  2946. 00:35:34,018 --> 00:35:35,285
  2947. Oh, thank God,
  2948. I thought you died.
  2949.  
  2950. 659
  2951. 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:37,086
  2952. They just gave that to you?
  2953.  
  2954. 660
  2955. 00:35:37,088 --> 00:35:38,954
  2956. No, there's basically
  2957. a cardboard box
  2958.  
  2959. 661
  2960. 00:35:38,956 --> 00:35:40,890
  2961. full of coats and stuff
  2962. in every building
  2963.  
  2964. 662
  2965. 00:35:40,892 --> 00:35:42,658
  2966. in International Falls.
  2967.  
  2968. 663
  2969. 00:35:42,660 --> 00:35:44,729
  2970. So this just belonged to,
  2971. like, a dead guy or, like, a
  2972.  
  2973. 664
  2974. 00:35:45,129 --> 00:35:48,032
  2975. - missing teenager or something?
  2976. - I don't know, could be.
  2977.  
  2978. 665
  2979. 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,966
  2980. - Okay.
  2981. - Better?
  2982.  
  2983. 666
  2984. 00:35:50,968 --> 00:35:54,602
  2985. - Getting there, getting there.
  2986. - Okay, let's go.
  2987.  
  2988. 667
  2989. 00:35:54,604 --> 00:35:56,839
  2990. - But I'm worried about that missing teenager.
  2991. - Yeah.
  2992.  
  2993. 668
  2994. 00:35:56,841 --> 00:35:59,041
  2995. So, International Falls.
  2996.  
  2997. 669
  2998. 00:35:59,043 --> 00:36:00,608
  2999. Where's the falls?
  3000.  
  3001. 670
  3002. 00:36:00,610 --> 00:36:02,079
  3003. Oh, we don't have any falls.
  3004.  
  3005. 671
  3006. 00:36:03,047 --> 00:36:06,583
  3007. Yeah, this is like a beautiful
  3008. little Christmas village.
  3009.  
  3010. 672
  3011. 00:36:07,018 --> 00:36:08,686
  3012. - You think?
  3013. - No.
  3014.  
  3015. 673
  3016. 00:36:10,453 --> 00:36:12,087
  3017. What is that, a paper mill?
  3018.  
  3019. 674
  3020. 00:36:12,089 --> 00:36:14,723
  3021. Yeah. I mean, it stinks.
  3022.  
  3023. 675
  3024. 00:36:14,725 --> 00:36:18,595
  3025. It smells like one,
  3026. like, one giant fart city.
  3027.  
  3028. 676
  3029. 00:36:19,897 --> 00:36:22,432
  3030. Did they ever think about
  3031. changing the name to Fart City?
  3032.  
  3033. 677
  3034. 00:36:23,801 --> 00:36:26,469
  3035. You know what? I'm going to bring
  3036. that up at our next council meeting.
  3037.  
  3038. 678
  3039. 00:36:27,404 --> 00:36:28,572
  3040. You should.
  3041.  
  3042. 679
  3043. 00:36:29,707 --> 00:36:31,108
  3044. Oh, there it is,
  3045. there's the wind right there.
  3046.  
  3047. 680
  3048. 00:36:32,810 --> 00:36:34,009
  3049. Oh, that's nice.
  3050.  
  3051. 681
  3052. 00:36:34,011 --> 00:36:35,044
  3053. Oh, my dick fell off.
  3054.  
  3055. 682
  3056. 00:36:37,414 --> 00:36:38,646
  3057. Hi, how are you.
  3058.  
  3059. 683
  3060. 00:36:38,648 --> 00:36:41,183
  3061. Okay, go!
  3062. Go, you're doing great!
  3063.  
  3064. 684
  3065. 00:36:45,056 --> 00:36:46,991
  3066. No!
  3067.  
  3068. 685
  3069. 00:36:50,995 --> 00:36:52,928
  3070. Oh, did it pull
  3071. it off your head?
  3072.  
  3073. 686
  3074. 00:36:52,930 --> 00:36:55,097
  3075. Yeah, they should cut these
  3076. trees down. This is bullshit.
  3077.  
  3078. 687
  3079. 00:36:55,099 --> 00:36:57,835
  3080. Or you could duck. When was
  3081. the last time you washed your hair?
  3082.  
  3083. 688
  3084. 00:36:58,468 --> 00:37:01,471
  3085. So, that's Canada across
  3086. the river there.
  3087.  
  3088. 689
  3089. 00:37:02,639 --> 00:37:04,809
  3090. Gosh, that's beautiful.
  3091.  
  3092. 690
  3093. 00:37:11,514 --> 00:37:12,783
  3094. See?
  3095.  
  3096. 691
  3097. 00:37:13,784 --> 00:37:15,920
  3098. Oh, my God.
  3099.  
  3100. 692
  3101. 00:37:23,094 --> 00:37:25,830
  3102. Can we please go somewhere warm?
  3103.  
  3104. 693
  3105. 00:37:26,463 --> 00:37:27,832
  3106. - Yeah.
  3107. - Please.
  3108.  
  3109. 694
  3110. 00:37:29,066 --> 00:37:30,567
  3111. Yeah, I got an idea.
  3112.  
  3113. 695
  3114. 00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:44,514
  3115. Okay.
  3116.  
  3117. 696
  3118. 00:37:45,649 --> 00:37:47,752
  3119. Uh, take off your seatbelt
  3120. and roll down the windows.
  3121.  
  3122. 697
  3123. 00:37:48,252 --> 00:37:49,854
  3124. - Why?
  3125. - It's rules of the road.
  3126.  
  3127. 698
  3128. 00:37:51,656 --> 00:37:53,456
  3129. It's easier to get out
  3130. in case we go under.
  3131.  
  3132. 699
  3133. 00:37:54,557 --> 00:37:55,660
  3134. - Are you serious?
  3135. - Yeah.
  3136.  
  3137. 700
  3138. 00:37:56,127 --> 00:37:57,995
  3139. Shit.
  3140.  
  3141. 701
  3142. 00:38:00,197 --> 00:38:01,629
  3143. You're a good
  3144. swimmer, yeah?
  3145.  
  3146. 702
  3147. 00:38:01,631 --> 00:38:03,098
  3148. No, I'm not
  3149. a good swimmer.
  3150.  
  3151. 703
  3152. 00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:04,501
  3153. Are you serious?
  3154.  
  3155. 704
  3156. 00:38:05,036 --> 00:38:06,869
  3157. So, you know,
  3158. if we go down
  3159.  
  3160. 705
  3161. 00:38:06,871 --> 00:38:08,771
  3162. there's no way I can,
  3163. I can help you.
  3164.  
  3165. 706
  3166. 00:38:08,773 --> 00:38:10,272
  3167. - Please help me.
  3168. - Because you're...
  3169.  
  3170. 707
  3171. 00:38:10,274 --> 00:38:12,043
  3172. Please help me.
  3173.  
  3174. 708
  3175. 00:38:14,946 --> 00:38:16,577
  3176. This is really scary.
  3177.  
  3178. 709
  3179. 00:38:16,579 --> 00:38:17,882
  3180. It is beautiful.
  3181.  
  3182. 710
  3183. 00:38:18,615 --> 00:38:20,115
  3184. Are you taking me
  3185. out here to kill me?
  3186.  
  3187. 711
  3188. 00:38:20,117 --> 00:38:21,052
  3189. Yes.
  3190.  
  3191. 712
  3192. 00:38:22,086 --> 00:38:22,987
  3193. I knew it.
  3194.  
  3195. 713
  3196. 00:38:27,291 --> 00:38:28,991
  3197. Why are we stopping?
  3198.  
  3199. 714
  3200. 00:38:28,993 --> 00:38:29,994
  3201. You'll see.
  3202.  
  3203. 715
  3204. 00:38:37,134 --> 00:38:38,069
  3205. Where are you going?
  3206.  
  3207. 716
  3208. 00:38:40,637 --> 00:38:41,538
  3209. Don't leave me!
  3210.  
  3211. 717
  3212. 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,144
  3213. Yeah, this is warm.
  3214.  
  3215. 718
  3216. 00:39:20,745 --> 00:39:22,113
  3217. It's toasty out here.
  3218.  
  3219. 719
  3220. 00:39:23,814 --> 00:39:26,348
  3221. Well, you know what they say. If you don't
  3222. like the weather, give it five minutes.
  3223.  
  3224. 720
  3225. 00:39:26,350 --> 00:39:28,717
  3226. - Oh, is that what they say?
  3227. - Yeah, yep.
  3228.  
  3229. 721
  3230. 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:29,987
  3231. That's hilarious.
  3232.  
  3233. 722
  3234. 00:39:38,929 --> 00:39:40,698
  3235. So, do you know
  3236. her name or anything?
  3237.  
  3238. 723
  3239. 00:39:41,165 --> 00:39:42,099
  3240. The other woman.
  3241.  
  3242. 724
  3243. 00:39:44,001 --> 00:39:45,102
  3244. Yeah, I met her
  3245. a couple of times.
  3246.  
  3247. 725
  3248. 00:39:46,237 --> 00:39:49,606
  3249. She works with my husband,
  3250. her name is Cynthia I think.
  3251.  
  3252. 726
  3253. 00:39:50,775 --> 00:39:51,641
  3254. Cynthia?
  3255.  
  3256. 727
  3257. 00:39:52,076 --> 00:39:52,977
  3258. Yeah.
  3259.  
  3260. 728
  3261. 00:39:53,944 --> 00:39:55,880
  3262. That's a stupid fucking name.
  3263.  
  3264. 729
  3265. 00:39:56,747 --> 00:39:58,015
  3266. It is, right?
  3267.  
  3268. 730
  3269. 00:39:58,883 --> 00:40:00,918
  3270. Have you ever met,
  3271. like, a cool Cynthia?
  3272.  
  3273. 731
  3274. 00:40:01,819 --> 00:40:02,953
  3275. No, nobody has.
  3276.  
  3277. 732
  3278. 00:40:03,954 --> 00:40:05,287
  3279. Well.
  3280.  
  3281. 733
  3282. 00:40:05,289 --> 00:40:06,991
  3283. So, what do you think?
  3284.  
  3285. 734
  3286. 00:40:07,992 --> 00:40:09,960
  3287. - How you gonna do it?
  3288. - Do what?
  3289.  
  3290. 735
  3291. 00:40:12,096 --> 00:40:13,596
  3292. You want to kill her, right?
  3293.  
  3294. 736
  3295. 00:40:14,198 --> 00:40:15,132
  3296. No!
  3297.  
  3298. 737
  3299. 00:40:17,101 --> 00:40:18,002
  3300. Yeah.
  3301.  
  3302. 738
  3303. 00:40:21,172 --> 00:40:25,910
  3304. Maybe like a... like
  3305. a wood chipper situation.
  3306.  
  3307. 739
  3308. 00:40:30,381 --> 00:40:32,615
  3309. You never saw <i>Fargo?</i>
  3310.  
  3311. 740
  3312. 00:40:34,318 --> 00:40:36,187
  3313. - How about a gun?
  3314. - Nope.
  3315.  
  3316. 741
  3317. 00:40:37,955 --> 00:40:39,788
  3318. Do you know anyone
  3319. that has a gun?
  3320.  
  3321. 742
  3322. 00:40:39,790 --> 00:40:41,624
  3323. - Oh, yeah.
  3324. - Okay, great, so you can get one.
  3325.  
  3326. 743
  3327. 00:40:42,326 --> 00:40:45,096
  3328. - Yeah.
  3329. - All right, here's what you're going to do.
  3330.  
  3331. 744
  3332. 00:40:45,763 --> 00:40:48,397
  3333. You get a gun, you shoot her,
  3334.  
  3335. 745
  3336. 00:40:48,399 --> 00:40:52,036
  3337. not in the head or the face,
  3338. in the gut.
  3339.  
  3340. 746
  3341. 00:40:53,137 --> 00:40:57,007
  3342. Hurts real bad and takes
  3343. a long time to bleed out.
  3344.  
  3345. 747
  3346. 00:42:00,137 --> 00:42:01,438
  3347. You were right
  3348. about the weather.
  3349.  
  3350. 748
  3351. 00:42:05,042 --> 00:42:07,075
  3352. So, where are you from
  3353. if you're not from here?
  3354.  
  3355. 749
  3356. 00:42:07,077 --> 00:42:08,078
  3357. I was raised here.
  3358.  
  3359. 750
  3360. 00:42:10,781 --> 00:42:12,249
  3361. - You said you weren't.
  3362. - I lied.
  3363.  
  3364. 751
  3365. 00:42:13,817 --> 00:42:15,219
  3366. Well, why would you
  3367. lie about that?
  3368.  
  3369. 752
  3370. 00:42:16,921 --> 00:42:18,253
  3371. Because at the time
  3372. you said you'd been
  3373.  
  3374. 753
  3375. 00:42:18,255 --> 00:42:20,090
  3376. on HBO and Comedy Central.
  3377.  
  3378. 754
  3379. 00:42:23,994 --> 00:42:27,131
  3380. Yeah, no, no, I mean,
  3381. I was raised here. I, uh...
  3382.  
  3383. 755
  3384. 00:42:28,799 --> 00:42:30,933
  3385. I grew up here,
  3386. I met my husband here,
  3387.  
  3388. 756
  3389. 00:42:30,935 --> 00:42:31,969
  3390. we went to college together.
  3391.  
  3392. 757
  3393. 00:42:32,937 --> 00:42:34,903
  3394. - Then we decided we'd stay...
  3395. - I'm so sorry,
  3396.  
  3397. 758
  3398. 00:42:34,905 --> 00:42:37,005
  3399. this is a very boring story.
  3400.  
  3401. 759
  3402. 00:42:38,342 --> 00:42:40,344
  3403. You got to spice it up
  3404. for the listener.
  3405.  
  3406. 760
  3407. 00:42:41,111 --> 00:42:45,547
  3408. Okay, I listened to your set
  3409. last night go on and on and on...
  3410.  
  3411. 761
  3412. 00:42:45,549 --> 00:42:47,249
  3413. On stage, that's
  3414. just my material.
  3415.  
  3416. 762
  3417. 00:42:47,251 --> 00:42:49,119
  3418. It's mostly lies, I told you.
  3419.  
  3420. 763
  3421. 00:42:50,254 --> 00:42:51,488
  3422. Well, then tell me something.
  3423.  
  3424. 764
  3425. 00:42:52,523 --> 00:42:53,989
  3426. What?
  3427.  
  3428. 765
  3429. 00:42:53,991 --> 00:42:55,492
  3430. Tell me something real.
  3431.  
  3432. 766
  3433. 00:42:57,962 --> 00:42:59,163
  3434. Something real.
  3435.  
  3436. 767
  3437. 00:43:07,538 --> 00:43:09,106
  3438. This is going to be my last set.
  3439.  
  3440. 768
  3441. 00:43:10,074 --> 00:43:11,275
  3442. What do you mean?
  3443.  
  3444. 769
  3445. 00:43:14,044 --> 00:43:15,179
  3446. I'm sort of retiring.
  3447.  
  3448. 770
  3449. 00:43:16,513 --> 00:43:18,247
  3450. - From standup?
  3451. - Yeah.
  3452.  
  3453. 771
  3454. 00:43:18,249 --> 00:43:19,516
  3455. - Why?
  3456. - I hate it.
  3457.  
  3458. 772
  3459. 00:43:20,351 --> 00:43:21,817
  3460. I hate it, I do.
  3461.  
  3462. 773
  3463. 00:43:21,819 --> 00:43:23,387
  3464. I'm not good at it
  3465. and I hate it.
  3466.  
  3467. 774
  3468. 00:43:24,888 --> 00:43:27,055
  3469. I mean, you must've loved it at some part.
  3470. When did it, when did it start?
  3471.  
  3472. 775
  3473. 00:43:27,057 --> 00:43:28,892
  3474. - How did you start?
  3475. - I don't know. I guess...
  3476.  
  3477. 776
  3478. 00:43:30,194 --> 00:43:31,927
  3479. the answer I give
  3480. in all of the interviews
  3481.  
  3482. 777
  3483. 00:43:31,929 --> 00:43:33,462
  3484. that I do,
  3485. I don't do interviews,
  3486.  
  3487. 778
  3488. 00:43:33,464 --> 00:43:37,566
  3489. is, um, that I grew up
  3490. listening to comedy albums
  3491.  
  3492. 779
  3493. 00:43:37,568 --> 00:43:40,902
  3494. of people like,
  3495. George Carlin and Lenny Bruce
  3496.  
  3497. 780
  3498. 00:43:40,904 --> 00:43:43,071
  3499. and Richard Pryor.
  3500.  
  3501. 781
  3502. 00:43:43,073 --> 00:43:44,373
  3503. - Is that the truth?
  3504. - No.
  3505.  
  3506. 782
  3507. 00:43:44,375 --> 00:43:46,975
  3508. Okay, well,
  3509. then why do you do it?
  3510.  
  3511. 783
  3512. 00:43:46,977 --> 00:43:48,345
  3513. What makes you do it?
  3514.  
  3515. 784
  3516. 00:43:49,446 --> 00:43:53,081
  3517. I'm vain, I'm selfish,
  3518. I'm afraid, I guess.
  3519.  
  3520. 785
  3521. 00:43:53,083 --> 00:43:54,184
  3522. Afraid of what?
  3523.  
  3524. 786
  3525. 00:43:55,085 --> 00:43:57,087
  3526. Everyone, everything.
  3527.  
  3528. 787
  3529. 00:43:58,122 --> 00:44:01,890
  3530. I guess it's, a, like
  3531. a preemptive strike, you know?
  3532.  
  3533. 788
  3534. 00:44:01,892 --> 00:44:04,593
  3535. I'm going to make fun of me
  3536. before you make fun of me,
  3537.  
  3538. 789
  3539. 00:44:04,595 --> 00:44:07,164
  3540. - 'cause I know it's coming.
  3541. - Are you afraid of me?
  3542.  
  3543. 790
  3544. 00:44:09,500 --> 00:44:10,632
  3545. Yeah.
  3546.  
  3547. 791
  3548. 00:44:10,634 --> 00:44:11,535
  3549. Terrified.
  3550.  
  3551. 792
  3552. 00:44:12,269 --> 00:44:13,170
  3553. Why?
  3554.  
  3555. 793
  3556. 00:44:18,475 --> 00:44:19,810
  3557. Because you're authentic.
  3558.  
  3559. 794
  3560. 00:44:21,345 --> 00:44:22,246
  3561. Oh.
  3562.  
  3563. 795
  3564. 00:44:28,485 --> 00:44:30,452
  3565. You know what
  3566. they say it takes to get,
  3567.  
  3568. 796
  3569. 00:44:30,454 --> 00:44:32,990
  3570. like, really good at comedy?
  3571.  
  3572. 797
  3573. 00:44:33,424 --> 00:44:35,557
  3574. You know, like finding your
  3575. voice, do you know what that is?
  3576.  
  3577. 798
  3578. 00:44:35,559 --> 00:44:36,493
  3579. Yeah.
  3580.  
  3581. 799
  3582. 00:44:41,298 --> 00:44:43,000
  3583. I don't think I ever found mine.
  3584.  
  3585. 800
  3586. 00:44:45,202 --> 00:44:46,570
  3587. I'm kind of done looking for it.
  3588.  
  3589. 801
  3590. 00:45:05,155 --> 00:45:06,223
  3591. I'm not going to fuck you.
  3592.  
  3593. 802
  3594. 00:45:08,158 --> 00:45:09,293
  3595. We'll see about that.
  3596.  
  3597. 803
  3598. 00:45:32,383 --> 00:45:34,015
  3599. Shit.
  3600.  
  3601. 804
  3602. 00:45:34,017 --> 00:45:35,586
  3603. What, who is it?
  3604.  
  3605. 805
  3606. 00:45:36,721 --> 00:45:37,988
  3607. Gary.
  3608.  
  3609. 806
  3610. 00:45:39,289 --> 00:45:41,392
  3611. - Oh, shit!
  3612. - Nah, it's fine.
  3613.  
  3614. 807
  3615. 00:45:41,992 --> 00:45:43,293
  3616. - Fine?
  3617. - It's fine.
  3618.  
  3619. 808
  3620. 00:45:44,294 --> 00:45:46,296
  3621. He's basically a robot.
  3622.  
  3623. 809
  3624. 00:46:10,354 --> 00:46:11,321
  3625. Who's that?
  3626.  
  3627. 810
  3628. 00:46:13,257 --> 00:46:15,192
  3629. Uh, that's the, the comic
  3630. from last night.
  3631.  
  3632. 811
  3633. 00:46:15,693 --> 00:46:17,327
  3634. He's performing again tonight.
  3635.  
  3636. 812
  3637. 00:46:18,495 --> 00:46:22,063
  3638. He's... he's kind
  3639. of a big deal so they wanted me
  3640.  
  3641. 813
  3642. 00:46:22,065 --> 00:46:24,332
  3643. to show him around today.
  3644.  
  3645. 814
  3646. 00:46:24,334 --> 00:46:26,637
  3647. Okay. He on TV?
  3648.  
  3649. 815
  3650. 00:46:28,105 --> 00:46:30,207
  3651. - Tons.
  3652. - Wow.
  3653.  
  3654. 816
  3655. 00:46:41,084 --> 00:46:45,255
  3656. So... what you said to me
  3657. last night on the phone.
  3658.  
  3659. 817
  3660. 00:46:45,657 --> 00:46:47,659
  3661. I was angry, Gary, I...
  3662.  
  3663. 818
  3664. 00:46:49,159 --> 00:46:50,227
  3665. I'm sorry, Dee.
  3666.  
  3667. 819
  3668. 00:46:52,262 --> 00:46:55,197
  3669. I'm so sorry, Dee.
  3670. And, and I'm so stupid.
  3671.  
  3672. 820
  3673. 00:46:55,199 --> 00:46:58,368
  3674. Holy hell, I don't even know
  3675. what the hell I was thinking.
  3676.  
  3677. 821
  3678. 00:46:58,736 --> 00:47:01,269
  3679. It just happened, you know?
  3680.  
  3681. 822
  3682. 00:47:01,271 --> 00:47:02,206
  3683. And...
  3684.  
  3685. 823
  3686. 00:47:03,675 --> 00:47:06,009
  3687. I miss you. I miss you so much.
  3688.  
  3689. 824
  3690. 00:47:06,811 --> 00:47:08,111
  3691. I miss you so much.
  3692.  
  3693. 825
  3694. 00:47:10,113 --> 00:47:13,415
  3695. - The girls are scared.
  3696. - Don't you dare bring those girls into this, Gary.
  3697.  
  3698. 826
  3699. 00:47:13,417 --> 00:47:16,284
  3700. I'm not, I'm not. I... they...
  3701. I didn't tell them nothing, they just...
  3702.  
  3703. 827
  3704. 00:47:16,286 --> 00:47:18,253
  3705. they know that
  3706. you didn't come home last night.
  3707.  
  3708. 828
  3709. 00:47:18,255 --> 00:47:23,126
  3710. And, and, uh, they know
  3711. you haven't been home today.
  3712.  
  3713. 829
  3714. 00:47:25,529 --> 00:47:27,097
  3715. Will you just tell me
  3716. what to do?
  3717.  
  3718. 830
  3719. 00:47:27,531 --> 00:47:29,299
  3720. I'm so sorry, I didn't...
  3721.  
  3722. 831
  3723. 00:47:30,434 --> 00:47:33,337
  3724. I'm so sorry, Dee.
  3725. I'm so sorry, Dee.
  3726.  
  3727. 832
  3728. 00:47:37,508 --> 00:47:39,076
  3729. Just go home, Gary.
  3730.  
  3731. 833
  3732. 00:47:40,544 --> 00:47:41,645
  3733. Just go home.
  3734.  
  3735. 834
  3736. 00:48:28,793 --> 00:48:29,827
  3737. Fuck.
  3738.  
  3739. 835
  3740. 00:48:31,829 --> 00:48:36,066
  3741. So, you're saying tonight's
  3742. your... your last show ever.
  3743.  
  3744. 836
  3745. 00:48:38,435 --> 00:48:40,203
  3746. Yeah, that's pretty much
  3747. what I'm saying.
  3748.  
  3749. 837
  3750. 00:48:40,705 --> 00:48:42,506
  3751. Well, I got to see that, right?
  3752.  
  3753. 838
  3754. 00:48:46,310 --> 00:48:48,577
  3755. I mean, if you're a glutton
  3756. for punishment, yeah.
  3757.  
  3758. 839
  3759. 00:49:05,797 --> 00:49:08,430
  3760. Here's something
  3761. that's hot off the presses,
  3762.  
  3763. 840
  3764. 00:49:08,432 --> 00:49:10,465
  3765. if you pretend like it's 1996.
  3766.  
  3767. 841
  3768. 00:49:10,467 --> 00:49:12,870
  3769. You know, they just started
  3770. putting, uh, porn out on DVD.
  3771.  
  3772. 842
  3773. 00:49:14,204 --> 00:49:15,105
  3774. Pretty cool.
  3775.  
  3776. 843
  3777. 00:49:15,639 --> 00:49:17,572
  3778. I'm not sure we need, uh,
  3779.  
  3780. 844
  3781. 00:49:17,574 --> 00:49:19,709
  3782. the bonus features
  3783. though, you know?
  3784.  
  3785. 845
  3786. 00:49:19,711 --> 00:49:20,611
  3787. Do we need that?
  3788.  
  3789. 846
  3790. 00:49:21,913 --> 00:49:25,182
  3791. You know, do we need that? Do we
  3792. need the director's commentary?
  3793.  
  3794. 847
  3795. 00:49:25,549 --> 00:49:26,718
  3796. "We're losing the light.
  3797.  
  3798. 848
  3799. 00:49:27,852 --> 00:49:30,251
  3800. And, uh, and then Cinnamon,
  3801. Cinnamon comes up to me
  3802.  
  3803. 849
  3804. 00:49:30,253 --> 00:49:35,693
  3805. and Cinnamon said, "Um, I just
  3806. found out that I have HIV,"
  3807.  
  3808. 850
  3809. 00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:40,462
  3810. and I was like, "well,
  3811. Cinnamon, you're an actress.
  3812.  
  3813. 851
  3814. 00:49:40,464 --> 00:49:42,800
  3815. Just use it." And I think,
  3816.  
  3817. 852
  3818. 00:49:43,567 --> 00:49:46,434
  3819. I think you can see
  3820. the HIV in her performance.
  3821.  
  3822. 853
  3823. 00:49:46,436 --> 00:49:49,206
  3824. And, uh, Blaze.
  3825.  
  3826. 854
  3827. 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,506
  3828. Blaze has been
  3829. fucking all day, man,
  3830.  
  3831. 855
  3832. 00:49:51,508 --> 00:49:53,475
  3833. and he couldn't,
  3834. he couldn't cum anymore.
  3835.  
  3836. 856
  3837. 00:49:53,477 --> 00:49:55,343
  3838. I remember smoke
  3839. was coming out of his dick,
  3840.  
  3841. 857
  3842. 00:49:55,345 --> 00:49:56,513
  3843. it was just smoke."
  3844.  
  3845. 858
  3846. 00:49:58,382 --> 00:49:59,547
  3847. Ah, come on.
  3848.  
  3849. 859
  3850. 00:49:59,549 --> 00:50:00,783
  3851. We're having fun, right?
  3852.  
  3853. 860
  3854. 00:50:00,785 --> 00:50:02,283
  3855. Are you guys not having fun?
  3856.  
  3857. 861
  3858. 00:50:02,285 --> 00:50:03,719
  3859. "Oh, no.
  3860.  
  3861. 862
  3862. 00:50:03,721 --> 00:50:06,256
  3863. Oh, no, we don't like this.
  3864.  
  3865. 863
  3866. 00:50:06,791 --> 00:50:09,559
  3867. I'll tell you what we like,
  3868. we like ice fishing.
  3869.  
  3870. 864
  3871. 00:50:10,394 --> 00:50:11,696
  3872. That's what we think is fun."
  3873.  
  3874. 865
  3875. 00:50:13,898 --> 00:50:14,799
  3876. How much longer?
  3877.  
  3878. 866
  3879. 00:50:16,233 --> 00:50:16,934
  3880. Oh, my God.
  3881.  
  3882. 867
  3883. 00:50:18,268 --> 00:50:19,169
  3884. Oh, my God.
  3885.  
  3886. 868
  3887. 00:50:19,971 --> 00:50:21,103
  3888. All right, here we go,
  3889. here we go.
  3890.  
  3891. 869
  3892. 00:50:21,105 --> 00:50:24,408
  3893. Let's have fun. Here's
  3894. an impression of me and my dick.
  3895.  
  3896. 870
  3897. 00:50:27,477 --> 00:50:28,778
  3898. Pretty cool, right?
  3899.  
  3900. 871
  3901. 00:50:28,780 --> 00:50:30,514
  3902. Fuck it.
  3903. Now how much time do we have?
  3904.  
  3905. 872
  3906. 00:50:31,683 --> 00:50:33,550
  3907. Come on. Nobody's with me?
  3908.  
  3909. 873
  3910. 00:50:34,786 --> 00:50:36,520
  3911. Um, you know what?
  3912.  
  3913. 874
  3914. 00:50:37,989 --> 00:50:41,423
  3915. I don't really care,
  3916. to be honest.
  3917.  
  3918. 875
  3919. 00:50:41,425 --> 00:50:44,760
  3920. <i>♪ I don't care about you
  3921. You rednecks ♪</i>
  3922.  
  3923. 876
  3924. 00:50:44,762 --> 00:50:46,628
  3925. All right,
  3926. here we go, here we go.
  3927.  
  3928. 877
  3929. 00:50:46,630 --> 00:50:49,366
  3930. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
  3931. sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
  3932.  
  3933. 878
  3934. 00:50:50,001 --> 00:50:52,034
  3935. Not really, fuck you. Um.
  3936.  
  3937. 879
  3938. 00:50:52,036 --> 00:50:52,970
  3939. You suck, man!
  3940.  
  3941. 880
  3942. 00:50:55,472 --> 00:50:56,373
  3943. Yeah.
  3944.  
  3945. 881
  3946. 00:50:58,475 --> 00:51:01,911
  3947. Yeah, I do suck, bro.
  3948.  
  3949. 882
  3950. 00:51:01,913 --> 00:51:04,546
  3951. But I know I suck
  3952. and I've been trying to
  3953.  
  3954. 883
  3955. 00:51:04,548 --> 00:51:07,652
  3956. tell people that
  3957. for years, okay?
  3958.  
  3959. 884
  3960. 00:51:08,285 --> 00:51:09,386
  3961. But I'm owning it.
  3962.  
  3963. 885
  3964. 00:51:09,854 --> 00:51:11,721
  3965. Tonight I'm owning it.
  3966.  
  3967. 886
  3968. 00:51:11,723 --> 00:51:13,223
  3969. How much I suck.
  3970.  
  3971. 887
  3972. 00:51:14,025 --> 00:51:17,459
  3973. And you should own
  3974. how much you suck, dude.
  3975.  
  3976. 888
  3977. 00:51:17,461 --> 00:51:18,863
  3978. You should also
  3979. go fuck yourself.
  3980.  
  3981. 889
  3982. 00:51:20,064 --> 00:51:22,867
  3983. So let's meet back
  3984. here in ten years.
  3985.  
  3986. 890
  3987. 00:51:23,433 --> 00:51:26,836
  3988. You guys will all still be here,
  3989. I guarantee you that.
  3990.  
  3991. 891
  3992. 00:51:26,838 --> 00:51:30,007
  3993. I guarantee you,
  3994. you will still be here,
  3995.  
  3996. 892
  3997. 00:51:30,574 --> 00:51:32,744
  3998. but I will be long gone.
  3999.  
  4000. 893
  4001. 00:51:33,343 --> 00:51:34,511
  4002. I will be long gone.
  4003.  
  4004. 894
  4005. 00:51:35,079 --> 00:51:39,081
  4006. Oh, look, it is the lady
  4007. from the liquor store
  4008.  
  4009. 895
  4010. 00:51:39,083 --> 00:51:40,783
  4011. as I'm sure you all know.
  4012.  
  4013. 896
  4014. 00:51:40,785 --> 00:51:45,489
  4015. Hello, and what did
  4016. I tell you when I met you?
  4017.  
  4018. 897
  4019. 00:51:45,923 --> 00:51:48,425
  4020. I said I'm not very good at this
  4021.  
  4022. 898
  4023. 00:51:48,860 --> 00:51:52,029
  4024. and you should
  4025. not come... didn't I?
  4026.  
  4027. 899
  4028. 00:51:53,363 --> 00:51:55,499
  4029. So, this is on you.
  4030.  
  4031. 900
  4032. 00:51:56,566 --> 00:51:59,436
  4033. And frankly, you're not
  4034. so great at your job either.
  4035.  
  4036. 901
  4037. 00:52:00,437 --> 00:52:02,572
  4038. Little chatty.
  4039. Little chatty is all I'm saying.
  4040.  
  4041. 902
  4042. 00:52:03,406 --> 00:52:07,509
  4043. Let's land this thing...
  4044. which is what they said on the Hindenburg.
  4045.  
  4046. 903
  4047. 00:52:07,511 --> 00:52:10,380
  4048. Um, I'll go out on this.
  4049. This is my closer.
  4050.  
  4051. 904
  4052. 00:52:13,851 --> 00:52:15,352
  4053. This is my closer.
  4054.  
  4055. 905
  4056. 00:52:17,521 --> 00:52:18,689
  4057. I'm on the road a lot.
  4058.  
  4059. 906
  4060. 00:52:19,924 --> 00:52:22,392
  4061. I am on the road a lot, um,
  4062. but I don't cheat on my wife.
  4063.  
  4064. 907
  4065. 00:52:23,493 --> 00:52:28,465
  4066. Um, and my wife suggested
  4067. that we have phone sex,
  4068.  
  4069. 908
  4070. 00:52:28,866 --> 00:52:31,000
  4071. but I quickly
  4072. realized that it was
  4073.  
  4074. 909
  4075. 00:52:31,002 --> 00:52:34,404
  4076. the saddest thing in the world
  4077.  
  4078. 910
  4079. 00:52:34,839 --> 00:52:36,772
  4080. to have phone sex with my wife,
  4081.  
  4082. 911
  4083. 00:52:36,774 --> 00:52:38,941
  4084. because it's really
  4085. more about my wife
  4086.  
  4087. 912
  4088. 00:52:38,943 --> 00:52:41,813
  4089. just controlling
  4090. what I masturbate to.
  4091.  
  4092. 913
  4093. 00:52:42,612 --> 00:52:44,747
  4094. And it goes a little
  4095. something like this.
  4096.  
  4097. 914
  4098. 00:52:44,749 --> 00:52:46,083
  4099. My wife says...
  4100.  
  4101. 915
  4102. 00:52:47,885 --> 00:52:49,086
  4103. "Okay, go."
  4104.  
  4105. 916
  4106. 00:52:50,721 --> 00:52:51,889
  4107. And so...
  4108.  
  4109. 917
  4110. 00:52:53,390 --> 00:52:54,491
  4111. I start masturbating.
  4112.  
  4113. 918
  4114. 00:52:56,994 --> 00:52:58,095
  4115. And I cum.
  4116.  
  4117. 919
  4118. 00:52:59,496 --> 00:53:03,067
  4119. And my wife goes...
  4120. "Are you finished?"
  4121.  
  4122. 920
  4123. 00:53:05,036 --> 00:53:06,469
  4124. And I say, "Yes."
  4125.  
  4126. 921
  4127. 00:53:08,638 --> 00:53:12,810
  4128. And, uh, and my wife goes,
  4129. "Goodnight, sicko."
  4130.  
  4131. 922
  4132. 00:53:16,147 --> 00:53:17,414
  4133. I go, "Goodnight...
  4134.  
  4135. 923
  4136. 00:53:18,582 --> 00:53:20,051
  4137. I love you."
  4138.  
  4139. 924
  4140. 00:53:23,788 --> 00:53:24,889
  4141. So, that's my time.
  4142.  
  4143. 925
  4144. 00:53:25,957 --> 00:53:27,357
  4145. Uh, I'm Tim Fletcher.
  4146.  
  4147. 926
  4148. 00:53:27,859 --> 00:53:28,826
  4149. And...
  4150.  
  4151. 927
  4152. 00:53:30,895 --> 00:53:32,495
  4153. sorry about that.
  4154.  
  4155. 928
  4156. 00:53:36,533 --> 00:53:39,402
  4157. Okay, uh, all right, um.
  4158.  
  4159. 929
  4160. 00:53:39,871 --> 00:53:42,204
  4161. Everybody give
  4162. another round of applause
  4163.  
  4164. 930
  4165. 00:53:42,206 --> 00:53:44,507
  4166. for our headliner, Tim Fletcher.
  4167.  
  4168. 931
  4169. 00:53:44,976 --> 00:53:48,878
  4170. Thank you. We will definitely
  4171. remember that. I, I want to...
  4172.  
  4173. 932
  4174. 00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:50,946
  4175. Let's go to my retirement party.
  4176.  
  4177. 933
  4178. 00:53:50,948 --> 00:53:54,051
  4179. ...we do have comedy here,
  4180. uh, on the weekends.
  4181.  
  4182. 934
  4183. 00:53:58,723 --> 00:54:00,457
  4184. Did you know that was
  4185. going to happen?
  4186.  
  4187. 935
  4188. 00:54:00,858 --> 00:54:01,792
  4189. No.
  4190.  
  4191. 936
  4192. 00:54:13,070 --> 00:54:14,171
  4193. Vodka?
  4194.  
  4195. 937
  4196. 00:54:14,939 --> 00:54:16,007
  4197. Uh, sure.
  4198.  
  4199. 938
  4200. 00:54:20,644 --> 00:54:21,746
  4201. Do you want a pill?
  4202.  
  4203. 939
  4204. 00:54:22,246 --> 00:54:24,115
  4205. No. No, thanks, not tonight.
  4206.  
  4207. 940
  4208. 00:54:47,570 --> 00:54:48,471
  4209. You know...
  4210.  
  4211. 941
  4212. 00:54:50,007 --> 00:54:51,608
  4213. when it really works...
  4214.  
  4215. 942
  4216. 00:54:52,944 --> 00:54:54,946
  4217. and you're actually killing...
  4218.  
  4219. 943
  4220. 00:54:56,914 --> 00:54:59,482
  4221. it's not me versus them,
  4222.  
  4223. 944
  4224. 00:55:00,851 --> 00:55:04,755
  4225. a performer, an audience,
  4226. it's just us.
  4227.  
  4228. 945
  4229. 00:55:06,623 --> 00:55:07,858
  4230. A conversation.
  4231.  
  4232. 946
  4233. 00:55:09,260 --> 00:55:12,830
  4234. And your stupid books
  4235. will say that there's
  4236.  
  4237. 947
  4238. 00:55:13,264 --> 00:55:14,966
  4239. a structure to a joke...
  4240.  
  4241. 948
  4242. 00:55:16,701 --> 00:55:17,902
  4243. but there's not.
  4244.  
  4245. 949
  4246. 00:55:19,870 --> 00:55:23,238
  4247. I mean, there is,
  4248. but we all already know it
  4249.  
  4250. 950
  4251. 00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:26,777
  4252. because we're human beings
  4253. and we do it every day.
  4254.  
  4255. 951
  4256. 00:55:29,947 --> 00:55:33,951
  4257. Like, if I say, "Man, the
  4258. weather's so hot, it's like..."
  4259.  
  4260. 952
  4261. 00:55:34,318 --> 00:55:36,887
  4262. I'm walking around
  4263. inside somebody's mouth.
  4264.  
  4265. 953
  4266. 00:55:40,157 --> 00:55:41,624
  4267. Exactly.
  4268.  
  4269. 954
  4270. 00:55:42,693 --> 00:55:44,226
  4271. Because that's what
  4272. a conversation is, right?
  4273.  
  4274. 955
  4275. 00:55:44,228 --> 00:55:47,997
  4276. It's just looking
  4277. for some sort of reaction.
  4278.  
  4279. 956
  4280. 00:55:47,999 --> 00:55:50,567
  4281. It could be a laugh,
  4282. it could be a cry.
  4283.  
  4284. 957
  4285. 00:55:53,137 --> 00:55:55,906
  4286. But just some sort of response.
  4287.  
  4288. 958
  4289. 00:55:58,009 --> 00:55:59,710
  4290. Then everything else
  4291. is just the setup.
  4292.  
  4293. 959
  4294. 00:56:06,817 --> 00:56:09,086
  4295. Do you still
  4296. want to be a comedian?
  4297.  
  4298. 960
  4299. 00:56:09,720 --> 00:56:12,688
  4300. - More than ever.
  4301. - I promise I'm not trying to talk you out of it.
  4302.  
  4303. 961
  4304. 00:56:12,690 --> 00:56:14,825
  4305. Jesus, I'd hate
  4306. to see if you did.
  4307.  
  4308. 962
  4309. 00:56:15,793 --> 00:56:16,694
  4310. Okay.
  4311.  
  4312. 963
  4313. 00:56:18,295 --> 00:56:21,198
  4314. Then you got to start
  4315. writing like, everything down.
  4316.  
  4317. 964
  4318. 00:56:21,799 --> 00:56:23,766
  4319. To get jokes, I mean.
  4320.  
  4321. 965
  4322. 00:56:23,768 --> 00:56:25,200
  4323. But you have to start
  4324. paying attention
  4325.  
  4326. 966
  4327. 00:56:25,202 --> 00:56:27,238
  4328. to the things that piss you off.
  4329.  
  4330. 967
  4331. 00:56:27,872 --> 00:56:31,206
  4332. People that are assholes,
  4333. oblivious dickheads,
  4334.  
  4335. 968
  4336. 00:56:31,208 --> 00:56:34,176
  4337. or the most fucked up
  4338. darkest thoughts
  4339.  
  4340. 969
  4341. 00:56:34,178 --> 00:56:36,211
  4342. that only come out
  4343. of your brain.
  4344.  
  4345. 970
  4346. 00:56:36,213 --> 00:56:39,715
  4347. Whatever gets some sort of
  4348. emotional reaction out of you.
  4349.  
  4350. 971
  4351. 00:56:39,717 --> 00:56:41,919
  4352. Figure out what
  4353. makes it funny later.
  4354.  
  4355. 972
  4356. 00:56:42,887 --> 00:56:43,919
  4357. Write it down.
  4358.  
  4359. 973
  4360. 00:56:43,921 --> 00:56:44,955
  4361. Do you do that?
  4362.  
  4363. 974
  4364. 00:57:01,005 --> 00:57:02,905
  4365. These are jokes?
  4366.  
  4367. 975
  4368. 00:57:02,907 --> 00:57:04,008
  4369. No.
  4370.  
  4371. 976
  4372. 00:57:04,408 --> 00:57:06,710
  4373. Oh, like a, like a diary?
  4374.  
  4375. 977
  4376. 00:57:07,211 --> 00:57:08,643
  4377. No.
  4378.  
  4379. 978
  4380. 00:57:08,645 --> 00:57:09,778
  4381. Journal.
  4382.  
  4383. 979
  4384. 00:57:09,780 --> 00:57:11,782
  4385. No. It's like a...
  4386.  
  4387. 980
  4388. 00:57:12,850 --> 00:57:15,753
  4389. man's log book of his thoughts.
  4390.  
  4391. 981
  4392. 00:57:19,323 --> 00:57:21,659
  4393. You're really sad, aren't you?
  4394.  
  4395. 982
  4396. 00:57:27,398 --> 00:57:31,634
  4397. Yeah, I guess I'm... pretty sad.
  4398.  
  4399. 983
  4400. 00:57:32,736 --> 00:57:34,805
  4401. I'm just tired of
  4402. pretending like I'm not.
  4403.  
  4404. 984
  4405. 00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:43,681
  4406. Wait.
  4407.  
  4408. 985
  4409. 00:57:44,882 --> 00:57:46,281
  4410. Are you sure you
  4411. want to do this?
  4412.  
  4413. 986
  4414. 00:57:46,283 --> 00:57:47,318
  4415. Yeah.
  4416.  
  4417. 987
  4418. 00:57:48,018 --> 00:57:49,820
  4419. Are you sure you
  4420. want to do this?
  4421.  
  4422. 988
  4423. 00:57:51,889 --> 00:57:54,992
  4424. But to be clear,
  4425. you're using me, right?
  4426.  
  4427. 989
  4428. 00:57:57,161 --> 00:57:58,628
  4429. Yeah.
  4430.  
  4431. 990
  4432. 00:57:59,296 --> 00:58:01,332
  4433. And you're using me, right?
  4434.  
  4435. 991
  4436. 00:58:02,967 --> 00:58:04,368
  4437. Big time.
  4438.  
  4439. 992
  4440. 00:58:31,362 --> 00:58:37,799
  4441. "I denied myself
  4442. nothing my eyes desired."
  4443.  
  4444. 993
  4445. 00:58:39,170 --> 00:58:41,937
  4446. - I like the sound of that.
  4447. - Hmm. Yeah.
  4448.  
  4449. 994
  4450. 00:58:41,939 --> 00:58:45,809
  4451. "I refused my heart
  4452. no pleasure."
  4453.  
  4454. 995
  4455. 00:58:46,877 --> 00:58:48,045
  4456. I like the sound of that.
  4457.  
  4458. 996
  4459. 00:58:50,114 --> 00:58:55,286
  4460. "Yet, when I surveyed
  4461. all that my hands had done
  4462.  
  4463. 997
  4464. 00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,189
  4465. and what I had
  4466. toiled to achieve...
  4467.  
  4468. 998
  4469. 00:59:00,157 --> 00:59:02,126
  4470. everything was meaningless.
  4471.  
  4472. 999
  4473. 00:59:03,227 --> 00:59:06,130
  4474. A chasing after the wind.
  4475.  
  4476. 1000
  4477. 00:59:07,298 --> 00:59:10,901
  4478. Nothing was gained
  4479. under the sun."
  4480.  
  4481. 1001
  4482. 00:59:15,206 --> 00:59:17,441
  4483. Man, that last part was depressing.
  4484.  
  4485. 1002
  4486. 00:59:19,009 --> 00:59:20,811
  4487. But the beginning was nice.
  4488.  
  4489. 1003
  4490. 00:59:21,979 --> 00:59:23,347
  4491. I like Ecclesiastes.
  4492.  
  4493. 1004
  4494. 00:59:24,415 --> 00:59:26,817
  4495. - You knew that was Ecclesiastes?
  4496. - Yeah.
  4497.  
  4498. 1005
  4499. 00:59:28,485 --> 00:59:29,920
  4500. Do you believe in God?
  4501.  
  4502. 1006
  4503. 00:59:32,022 --> 00:59:35,059
  4504. I mean, I suppose as much as
  4505. any Lutheran does.
  4506.  
  4507. 1007
  4508. 00:59:37,194 --> 00:59:38,362
  4509. So you go to church.
  4510.  
  4511. 1008
  4512. 00:59:39,363 --> 00:59:41,232
  4513. Yep, Gary's on a council.
  4514.  
  4515. 1009
  4516. 00:59:43,167 --> 00:59:45,936
  4517. What, what do Lutherans believe?
  4518.  
  4519. 1010
  4520. 00:59:50,140 --> 00:59:53,744
  4521. Well, basically you don't need the
  4522. pope to go to heaven.
  4523.  
  4524. 1011
  4525. 00:59:55,145 --> 00:59:56,413
  4526. So you believe in heaven.
  4527.  
  4528. 1012
  4529. 01:00:00,150 --> 01:00:01,950
  4530. I, I don't know.
  4531. I mean, come on.
  4532.  
  4533. 1013
  4534. 01:00:01,952 --> 01:00:03,485
  4535. - I'm not making fun.
  4536. - It's just.
  4537.  
  4538. 1014
  4539. 01:00:03,487 --> 01:00:06,790
  4540. No, it... My mom died
  4541. last year, that's all.
  4542.  
  4543. 1015
  4544. 01:00:07,925 --> 01:00:08,826
  4545. I'm sorry.
  4546.  
  4547. 1016
  4548. 01:00:09,326 --> 01:00:10,227
  4549. Yeah.
  4550.  
  4551. 1017
  4552. 01:00:11,362 --> 01:00:12,930
  4553. I was with her in the end.
  4554.  
  4555. 1018
  4556. 01:00:15,099 --> 01:00:16,233
  4557. I watched her go.
  4558.  
  4559. 1019
  4560. 01:00:17,034 --> 01:00:19,403
  4561. I was holding her hand and...
  4562.  
  4563. 1020
  4564. 01:00:22,506 --> 01:00:24,541
  4565. and her eyes were
  4566. closed, but I knew.
  4567.  
  4568. 1021
  4569. 01:00:26,343 --> 01:00:27,511
  4570. Her last breath...
  4571.  
  4572. 1022
  4573. 01:00:33,417 --> 01:00:34,818
  4574. was so beautiful.
  4575.  
  4576. 1023
  4577. 01:00:37,321 --> 01:00:39,154
  4578. I was struck with the idea
  4579. for the first time
  4580.  
  4581. 1024
  4582. 01:00:39,156 --> 01:00:43,093
  4583. in my life that...
  4584. that maybe this was it.
  4585.  
  4586. 1025
  4587. 01:00:44,028 --> 01:00:45,829
  4588. That this was it and...
  4589.  
  4590. 1026
  4591. 01:00:47,464 --> 01:00:48,565
  4592. I wasn't sad.
  4593.  
  4594. 1027
  4595. 01:00:51,535 --> 01:00:52,936
  4596. I was grateful.
  4597.  
  4598. 1028
  4599. 01:00:55,272 --> 01:00:57,308
  4600. And I remember thinking
  4601. that this was enough.
  4602.  
  4603. 1029
  4604. 01:01:01,278 --> 01:01:03,480
  4605. And to expect anything more
  4606. would be greedy.
  4607.  
  4608. 1030
  4609. 01:01:10,387 --> 01:01:11,288
  4610. Wow.
  4611.  
  4612. 1031
  4613. 01:01:11,922 --> 01:01:13,021
  4614. - Sorry.
  4615. - No.
  4616.  
  4617. 1032
  4618. 01:01:13,023 --> 01:01:14,358
  4619. - I just...
  4620. - Don't be.
  4621.  
  4622. 1033
  4623. 01:01:16,327 --> 01:01:18,126
  4624. I mean, I know you
  4625. have to get up early, so...
  4626.  
  4627. 1034
  4628. 01:01:18,128 --> 01:01:19,263
  4629. No, I'm fine.
  4630.  
  4631. 1035
  4632. 01:01:19,963 --> 01:01:21,330
  4633. No, I don't want
  4634. this to be weird.
  4635.  
  4636. 1036
  4637. 01:01:21,332 --> 01:01:22,497
  4638. - You're not making it weird.
  4639. - Okay.
  4640.  
  4641. 1037
  4642. 01:01:25,569 --> 01:01:27,402
  4643. Can you just, can you grab that?
  4644.  
  4645. 1038
  4646. 01:01:27,404 --> 01:01:28,472
  4647. Uh, yeah.
  4648.  
  4649. 1039
  4650. 01:01:33,510 --> 01:01:36,347
  4651. Retired comedian Tim Fletcher,
  4652. how may I direct your call?
  4653.  
  4654. 1040
  4655. 01:01:36,914 --> 01:01:39,915
  4656. Hi, this is Ruthie
  4657. down at the front desk.
  4658.  
  4659. 1041
  4660. 01:01:39,917 --> 01:01:42,084
  4661. Um, I'm just calling to see if,
  4662.  
  4663. 1042
  4664. 01:01:42,086 --> 01:01:43,653
  4665. - by any chance...
  4666. - Okay, for crying out loud.
  4667.  
  4668. 1043
  4669. 01:01:43,655 --> 01:01:45,420
  4670. Ruthie, you don't have to act
  4671.  
  4672. 1044
  4673. 01:01:45,422 --> 01:01:46,957
  4674. like I don't know
  4675. what's going on.
  4676.  
  4677. 1045
  4678. 01:01:47,958 --> 01:01:49,493
  4679. Um, I'm looking for Dee.
  4680.  
  4681. 1046
  4682. 01:01:50,561 --> 01:01:52,096
  4683. Hey, you might
  4684. want to take this.
  4685.  
  4686. 1047
  4687. 01:01:54,565 --> 01:01:56,467
  4688. - <i>Hey, Dee.</i>
  4689. - Hey, Ruthie.
  4690.  
  4691. 1048
  4692. 01:01:57,067 --> 01:01:58,068
  4693. Uh, Ruthie.
  4694.  
  4695. 1049
  4696. 01:01:58,635 --> 01:01:59,536
  4697. Please.
  4698.  
  4699. 1050
  4700. 01:02:01,205 --> 01:02:03,071
  4701. <i>Dee? Uh, it's Gary.</i>
  4702.  
  4703. 1051
  4704. 01:02:03,073 --> 01:02:04,341
  4705. G... I'm still working.
  4706.  
  4707. 1052
  4708. 01:02:04,709 --> 01:02:07,209
  4709. - Oh, come on, Dee.
  4710. - <i>Gary, listen to me.</i>
  4711.  
  4712. 1053
  4713. 01:02:07,211 --> 01:02:09,346
  4714. I don't want
  4715. to see you right now.
  4716.  
  4717. 1054
  4718. 01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:11,315
  4719. You know, the girls are here.
  4720.  
  4721. 1055
  4722. 01:02:11,949 --> 01:02:14,015
  4723. - What?
  4724. - Yeah, they want to see you.
  4725.  
  4726. 1056
  4727. 01:02:14,017 --> 01:02:16,184
  4728. So you brought them here?
  4729.  
  4730. 1057
  4731. 01:02:16,186 --> 01:02:18,186
  4732. Well, yeah, you know,
  4733. I don't know what's going on, you know?
  4734.  
  4735. 1058
  4736. 01:02:18,188 --> 01:02:19,890
  4737. You know what the fuck
  4738. you're doing.
  4739.  
  4740. 1059
  4741. 01:02:20,257 --> 01:02:22,725
  4742. I'm not the one doing
  4743. the asking, it's your daughters.
  4744.  
  4745. 1060
  4746. 01:02:22,727 --> 01:02:24,895
  4747. Well, maybe I don't want
  4748. to see them either!
  4749.  
  4750. 1061
  4751. 01:02:33,671 --> 01:02:34,571
  4752. Dee?
  4753.  
  4754. 1062
  4755. 01:02:46,350 --> 01:02:47,384
  4756. <i>Dee?</i>
  4757.  
  4758. 1063
  4759. 01:03:00,297 --> 01:03:03,934
  4760. - <i>Dee?</i>
  4761. - <i>Uh... hello.</i>
  4762.  
  4763. 1064
  4764. 01:03:04,468 --> 01:03:07,202
  4765. - Who's this?
  4766. - Gary, it's Tim.
  4767.  
  4768. 1065
  4769. 01:03:07,204 --> 01:03:08,472
  4770. <i>Yeah, you're the VIP, huh?</i>
  4771.  
  4772. 1066
  4773. 01:03:09,106 --> 01:03:10,407
  4774. I looked you up online.
  4775.  
  4776. 1067
  4777. 01:03:11,241 --> 01:03:12,276
  4778. You're a nobody, pal.
  4779.  
  4780. 1068
  4781. 01:03:13,310 --> 01:03:14,242
  4782. I don't know what kind
  4783. of BS that you're shoving
  4784.  
  4785. 1069
  4786. 01:03:14,244 --> 01:03:16,478
  4787. in my wife,
  4788. but you better knock it off.
  4789.  
  4790. 1070
  4791. 01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:19,682
  4792. Gary, Dee's upset right now.
  4793.  
  4794. 1071
  4795. 01:03:19,684 --> 01:03:21,385
  4796. She's super pissed, man.
  4797.  
  4798. 1072
  4799. 01:03:21,753 --> 01:03:25,620
  4800. And she's going to need some
  4801. time and some space from you.
  4802.  
  4803. 1073
  4804. 01:03:25,622 --> 01:03:27,991
  4805. Now I'm leaving, bright
  4806. and early in the morning,
  4807.  
  4808. 1074
  4809. 01:03:28,459 --> 01:03:31,727
  4810. so you're not going to have to
  4811. worry about my lame ass anymore.
  4812.  
  4813. 1075
  4814. 01:03:31,729 --> 01:03:33,528
  4815. She's not answering
  4816. her cellphone.
  4817.  
  4818. 1076
  4819. 01:03:33,530 --> 01:03:35,096
  4820. Dee doesn't own a cell anymore.
  4821.  
  4822. 1077
  4823. 01:03:35,098 --> 01:03:37,100
  4824. We smashed that shit up
  4825. 18 hours ago.
  4826.  
  4827. 1078
  4828. 01:03:38,368 --> 01:03:39,570
  4829. Have you and her...
  4830.  
  4831. 1079
  4832. 01:03:40,738 --> 01:03:42,604
  4833. - Did you...
  4834. - <i>What is this, junior high?</i>
  4835.  
  4836. 1080
  4837. 01:03:42,606 --> 01:03:44,408
  4838. We're way past that, man.
  4839.  
  4840. 1081
  4841. 01:03:44,809 --> 01:03:46,744
  4842. We did all kinds of things.
  4843.  
  4844. 1082
  4845. 01:03:47,644 --> 01:03:50,748
  4846. You probably want to know
  4847. if we made out up at the lake?
  4848.  
  4849. 1083
  4850. 01:03:51,415 --> 01:03:53,550
  4851. Well, the answer is, yeah, Gary.
  4852.  
  4853. 1084
  4854. 01:03:54,251 --> 01:03:55,586
  4855. And it was really awesome.
  4856.  
  4857. 1085
  4858. 01:03:56,220 --> 01:03:57,454
  4859. But what did you do, Gary?
  4860.  
  4861. 1086
  4862. 01:03:58,690 --> 01:03:59,958
  4863. What, did you go fall in love
  4864. with your little sidepiece?
  4865.  
  4866. 1087
  4867. 01:04:01,124 --> 01:04:05,160
  4868. Because I thought you were just
  4869. into like CFNM on the internet.
  4870.  
  4871. 1088
  4872. 01:04:05,162 --> 01:04:08,196
  4873. - Now, you listen to me.
  4874. - No, you listen, Gary,
  4875.  
  4876. 1089
  4877. 01:04:08,198 --> 01:04:09,464
  4878. 'cause here's
  4879. a little bit of advice.
  4880.  
  4881. 1090
  4882. 01:04:09,466 --> 01:04:12,234
  4883. Clear that browser history, bro,
  4884.  
  4885. 1091
  4886. 01:04:12,236 --> 01:04:14,169
  4887. okay? And close out
  4888. of your email.
  4889.  
  4890. 1092
  4891. 01:04:14,171 --> 01:04:15,671
  4892. But I, I didn't...
  4893.  
  4894. 1093
  4895. 01:04:15,673 --> 01:04:18,141
  4896. I know, man. I know where
  4897. you're going with this.
  4898.  
  4899. 1094
  4900. 01:04:18,542 --> 01:04:20,577
  4901. But you can't have it
  4902. both ways, Gary.
  4903.  
  4904. 1095
  4905. 01:04:21,211 --> 01:04:24,112
  4906. Either you're having
  4907. an affair with Cynthia
  4908.  
  4909. 1096
  4910. 01:04:24,114 --> 01:04:26,550
  4911. and you're covering
  4912. your ass, or you're not.
  4913.  
  4914. 1097
  4915. 01:04:27,217 --> 01:04:28,585
  4916. <i>It didn't just happen.</i>
  4917.  
  4918. 1098
  4919. 01:04:29,988 --> 01:04:32,657
  4920. - How'd you know her name?
  4921. - How do you think I know her name, dipshit?
  4922.  
  4923. 1099
  4924. 01:04:33,290 --> 01:04:37,194
  4925. Gary, I'm a lot
  4926. like you, man.
  4927.  
  4928. 1100
  4929. 01:04:38,562 --> 01:04:42,132
  4930. Hey, me and you are like
  4931. a lot of other dudes.
  4932.  
  4933. 1101
  4934. 01:04:43,634 --> 01:04:45,335
  4935. Have you ever seen
  4936. <i>City Slickers?</i>
  4937.  
  4938. 1102
  4939. 01:04:46,503 --> 01:04:47,638
  4940. It's kind of like that.
  4941.  
  4942. 1103
  4943. 01:04:48,539 --> 01:04:50,806
  4944. I mean, it's different because
  4945. they're on a cattle drive,
  4946.  
  4947. 1104
  4948. 01:04:50,808 --> 01:04:53,644
  4949. but... guys like me and you...
  4950.  
  4951. 1105
  4952. 01:04:55,245 --> 01:04:57,247
  4953. we hurt people
  4954. that we claim to love.
  4955.  
  4956. 1106
  4957. 01:04:57,849 --> 01:05:00,117
  4958. Then we do it
  4959. over and over again.
  4960.  
  4961. 1107
  4962. 01:05:00,652 --> 01:05:02,586
  4963. <i>But one thing I would
  4964. never do to my wife</i>
  4965.  
  4966. 1108
  4967. 01:05:03,220 --> 01:05:05,355
  4968. <i>is use our child to hide behind.</i>
  4969.  
  4970. 1109
  4971. 01:05:07,591 --> 01:05:09,359
  4972. Is Dee standing right there?
  4973.  
  4974. 1110
  4975. 01:05:10,494 --> 01:05:11,696
  4976. Go home, Gary.
  4977.  
  4978. 1111
  4979. 01:05:12,563 --> 01:05:14,364
  4980. She'll be there
  4981. when she gets there.
  4982.  
  4983. 1112
  4984. 01:05:19,837 --> 01:05:21,138
  4985. Okay, thank you, Ruthie.
  4986.  
  4987. 1113
  4988. 01:05:23,708 --> 01:05:26,842
  4989. Okay, girls, we're just
  4990. going to go home, okay?
  4991.  
  4992. 1114
  4993. 01:05:26,844 --> 01:05:30,080
  4994. And we'll check in later.
  4995. She's busy working right now.
  4996.  
  4997. 1115
  4998. 01:05:38,555 --> 01:05:40,725
  4999. So is that why
  5000. you're getting a divorce?
  5001.  
  5002. 1116
  5003. 01:05:43,761 --> 01:05:46,161
  5004. Happened a few years ago. Um.
  5005.  
  5006. 1117
  5007. 01:05:46,163 --> 01:05:47,596
  5008. A club in Topeka.
  5009.  
  5010. 1118
  5011. 01:05:47,598 --> 01:05:48,498
  5012. This...
  5013.  
  5014. 1119
  5015. 01:05:49,867 --> 01:05:52,334
  5016. waitress who wouldn't
  5017. give me the time of day
  5018.  
  5019. 1120
  5020. 01:05:52,336 --> 01:05:55,572
  5021. until I came off stage,
  5022. and suddenly I was attractive.
  5023.  
  5024. 1121
  5025. 01:05:55,940 --> 01:05:59,176
  5026. She came up to me at the bar
  5027. and said, "You're so funny."
  5028.  
  5029. 1122
  5030. 01:05:59,811 --> 01:06:02,477
  5031. - Oh, my God.
  5032. - Yeah.
  5033.  
  5034. 1123
  5035. 01:06:02,479 --> 01:06:03,815
  5036. Just like you.
  5037.  
  5038. 1124
  5039. 01:06:04,749 --> 01:06:05,683
  5040. So...
  5041.  
  5042. 1125
  5043. 01:06:08,318 --> 01:06:13,388
  5044. we started talking
  5045. and... we kept in touch.
  5046.  
  5047. 1126
  5048. 01:06:13,390 --> 01:06:14,792
  5049. I saw quite a bit of her.
  5050.  
  5051. 1127
  5052. 01:06:16,193 --> 01:06:17,361
  5053. So how'd you get caught?
  5054.  
  5055. 1128
  5056. 01:06:18,896 --> 01:06:19,831
  5057. It doesn't matter.
  5058.  
  5059. 1129
  5060. 01:06:25,602 --> 01:06:27,270
  5061. And your wife stayed with you?
  5062.  
  5063. 1130
  5064. 01:06:31,475 --> 01:06:32,643
  5065. She forgave you?
  5066.  
  5067. 1131
  5068. 01:06:34,511 --> 01:06:35,680
  5069. She said she did.
  5070.  
  5071. 1132
  5072. 01:06:36,246 --> 01:06:37,247
  5073. Do you believe her?
  5074.  
  5075. 1133
  5076. 01:06:38,382 --> 01:06:39,282
  5077. Do you?
  5078.  
  5079. 1134
  5080. 01:06:41,953 --> 01:06:43,688
  5081. Guess how many men
  5082. I've fucked, Tim.
  5083.  
  5084. 1135
  5085. 01:06:45,790 --> 01:06:47,422
  5086. - I don't really want to...
  5087. - Two.
  5088.  
  5089. 1136
  5090. 01:06:47,424 --> 01:06:50,193
  5091. - See, that's why I didn't...
  5092. - Him and you.
  5093.  
  5094. 1137
  5095. 01:06:51,561 --> 01:06:54,631
  5096. I was 20-fucking-years-old
  5097. when I married that man.
  5098.  
  5099. 1138
  5100. 01:06:55,632 --> 01:06:57,669
  5101. I was the cautious one.
  5102.  
  5103. 1139
  5104. 01:07:00,604 --> 01:07:02,907
  5105. I was the unsure one.
  5106.  
  5107. 1140
  5108. 01:07:04,274 --> 01:07:07,977
  5109. We're young... there's no
  5110. need to rush anything.
  5111.  
  5112. 1141
  5113. 01:07:07,979 --> 01:07:09,681
  5114. And he proposed to me anyway.
  5115.  
  5116. 1142
  5117. 01:07:11,581 --> 01:07:14,819
  5118. He proposed to me at a division
  5119. three college basketball game.
  5120.  
  5121. 1143
  5122. 01:07:16,319 --> 01:07:17,452
  5123. On the jumbotron?
  5124.  
  5125. 1144
  5126. 01:07:17,454 --> 01:07:20,257
  5127. No! There's no jumbotron, Tim.
  5128.  
  5129. 1145
  5130. 01:07:21,558 --> 01:07:24,628
  5131. Have you ever heard of
  5132. Augsburg College in Minneapolis?
  5133.  
  5134. 1146
  5135. 01:07:24,996 --> 01:07:27,262
  5136. - No.
  5137. - No, no one has, Tim.
  5138.  
  5139. 1147
  5140. 01:07:27,264 --> 01:07:31,533
  5141. No one's heard of the
  5142. Augsburg Auggies in Minneapolis,
  5143.  
  5144. 1148
  5145. 01:07:31,535 --> 01:07:33,903
  5146. and they don't have
  5147. a fucking jumbotron
  5148.  
  5149. 1149
  5150. 01:07:33,905 --> 01:07:36,239
  5151. at their fucking
  5152. basketball games.
  5153.  
  5154. 1150
  5155. 01:07:38,642 --> 01:07:41,309
  5156. This is one of those things
  5157. you should be writing down.
  5158.  
  5159. 1151
  5160. 01:08:05,535 --> 01:08:07,237
  5161. So what are your plans tomorrow?
  5162.  
  5163. 1152
  5164. 01:08:10,507 --> 01:08:11,943
  5165. I haven't really
  5166. thought about it.
  5167.  
  5168. 1153
  5169. 01:08:13,610 --> 01:08:15,545
  5170. What time do
  5171. the cleaning ladies come?
  5172.  
  5173. 1154
  5174. 01:08:16,981 --> 01:08:18,515
  5175. Like 10:30 or so.
  5176.  
  5177. 1155
  5178. 01:08:20,450 --> 01:08:22,754
  5179. I'll probably get a wake up
  5180. call like 9:45.
  5181.  
  5182. 1156
  5183. 01:08:24,722 --> 01:08:27,792
  5184. Try to make it to the breakfast buffet before they close.
  5185.  
  5186. 1157
  5187. 01:08:29,894 --> 01:08:31,294
  5188. To have a waffle?
  5189.  
  5190. 1158
  5191. 01:08:33,630 --> 01:08:34,631
  5192. Yeah.
  5193.  
  5194. 1159
  5195. 01:08:37,567 --> 01:08:38,669
  5196. And then get on the road.
  5197.  
  5198. 1160
  5199. 01:08:40,037 --> 01:08:40,938
  5200. To see Sean.
  5201.  
  5202. 1161
  5203. 01:08:42,840 --> 01:08:43,741
  5204. Your son?
  5205.  
  5206. 1162
  5207. 01:08:59,857 --> 01:09:04,061
  5208. That one means father
  5209. and that one means son.
  5210.  
  5211. 1163
  5212. 01:09:08,900 --> 01:09:10,868
  5213. Japanese.
  5214.  
  5215. 1164
  5216. 01:09:11,535 --> 01:09:12,435
  5217. Why?
  5218.  
  5219. 1165
  5220. 01:09:13,104 --> 01:09:14,839
  5221. Because I'm so fucking original.
  5222.  
  5223. 1166
  5224. 01:09:21,946 --> 01:09:22,947
  5225. What are your plans?
  5226.  
  5227. 1167
  5228. 01:09:26,818 --> 01:09:28,385
  5229. I have no idea.
  5230.  
  5231. 1168
  5232. 01:09:33,825 --> 01:09:35,660
  5233. How cool is that?
  5234.  
  5235. 1169
  5236. 01:10:16,100 --> 01:10:18,868
  5237. Um, maybe you should
  5238. take that vodka.
  5239.  
  5240. 1170
  5241. 01:10:18,870 --> 01:10:20,705
  5242. I think you're going
  5243. to need it more than me.
  5244.  
  5245. 1171
  5246. 01:10:39,857 --> 01:10:41,659
  5247. You should probably
  5248. have this too.
  5249.  
  5250. 1172
  5251. 01:10:43,127 --> 01:10:44,494
  5252. I can't take that.
  5253.  
  5254. 1173
  5255. 01:10:45,096 --> 01:10:46,527
  5256. I told you, I'm retired.
  5257.  
  5258. 1174
  5259. 01:10:46,529 --> 01:10:48,496
  5260. I know, but those
  5261. are your jokes.
  5262.  
  5263. 1175
  5264. 01:10:48,498 --> 01:10:49,700
  5265. But not if I give them to you.
  5266.  
  5267. 1176
  5268. 01:10:50,167 --> 01:10:54,837
  5269. Plus, you won't even
  5270. really use them, you know?
  5271.  
  5272. 1177
  5273. 01:10:54,839 --> 01:10:58,175
  5274. The stuff that you come up with
  5275. is going to be your own.
  5276.  
  5277. 1178
  5278. 01:10:58,876 --> 01:11:03,446
  5279. Way better than 900 jokes
  5280. about boners and buttholes.
  5281.  
  5282. 1179
  5283. 01:11:04,715 --> 01:11:06,483
  5284. Just take it.
  5285.  
  5286. 1180
  5287. 01:11:09,754 --> 01:11:14,759
  5288. And if I can just give you
  5289. one little thing of advice.
  5290.  
  5291. 1181
  5292. 01:11:16,661 --> 01:11:20,197
  5293. Now, this is coming
  5294. from Tim Fletcher,
  5295.  
  5296. 1182
  5297. 01:11:20,965 --> 01:11:23,699
  5298. currently headlining at a hotel
  5299.  
  5300. 1183
  5301. 01:11:23,701 --> 01:11:26,567
  5302. in International Falls,
  5303. Minnesota, so.
  5304.  
  5305. 1184
  5306. 01:11:26,569 --> 01:11:27,537
  5307. Grain of salt.
  5308.  
  5309. 1185
  5310. 01:11:28,940 --> 01:11:34,544
  5311. If you go through with this...
  5312. just tell the truth...
  5313.  
  5314. 1186
  5315. 01:11:36,013 --> 01:11:37,748
  5316. no matter how ugly it is.
  5317.  
  5318. 1187
  5319. 01:11:38,749 --> 01:11:39,817
  5320. Be yourself.
  5321.  
  5322. 1188
  5323. 01:11:40,851 --> 01:11:42,084
  5324. Because you're authentic
  5325. and you're fucking funny.
  5326.  
  5327. 1189
  5328. 01:11:46,757 --> 01:11:49,226
  5329. Maybe I could get one more.
  5330.  
  5331. 1190
  5332. 01:11:57,567 --> 01:12:00,237
  5333. I was going to say handjob.
  5334.  
  5335. 1191
  5336. 01:12:01,138 --> 01:12:02,173
  5337. I know.
  5338.  
  5339. 1192
  5340. 01:12:09,981 --> 01:12:11,115
  5341. Bye, Tim.
  5342.  
  5343. 1193
  5344. 01:12:21,058 --> 01:12:22,159
  5345. Bye, Dee.
  5346.  
  5347. 1194
  5348. 01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:32,535
  5349. <i>Hey, um, it's me.</i>
  5350.  
  5351. 1195
  5352. 01:12:33,838 --> 01:12:37,574
  5353. I know it's late but I was
  5354. hoping I could talk to him.
  5355.  
  5356. 1196
  5357. 01:12:40,044 --> 01:12:43,513
  5358. <i>Can you just please
  5359. tell him that I love him.</i>
  5360.  
  5361. 1197
  5362. 01:12:44,915 --> 01:12:47,651
  5363. And, uh, tell him
  5364. I'm sorry, okay?
  5365.  
  5366. 1198
  5367. 01:12:51,655 --> 01:12:53,090
  5368. <i>I hope he likes the moose.</i>
  5369.  
  5370. 1199
  5371. 01:12:55,659 --> 01:12:56,559
  5372. <i>Okay.</i>
  5373.  
  5374. 1200
  5375. 01:13:56,153 --> 01:13:57,221
  5376. I'm sorry.
  5377.  
  5378. 1201
  5379. 01:14:02,660 --> 01:14:03,661
  5380. Do you think I'm funny?
  5381.  
  5382. 1202
  5383. 01:14:05,663 --> 01:14:06,730
  5384. Yeah.
  5385.  
  5386. 1203
  5387. 01:14:08,332 --> 01:14:09,800
  5388. Yeah, I think you're funny.
  5389.  
  5390. 1204
  5391. 01:14:11,068 --> 01:14:15,072
  5392. And you're beautiful and, and...
  5393.  
  5394. 1205
  5395. 01:14:16,707 --> 01:14:19,376
  5396. y... you're funny, uh.
  5397.  
  5398. 1206
  5399. 01:14:21,879 --> 01:14:22,980
  5400. I'm not leaving you.
  5401.  
  5402. 1207
  5403. 01:14:25,816 --> 01:14:27,985
  5404. That's not how this is
  5405. going to be described.
  5406.  
  5407. 1208
  5408. 01:14:28,452 --> 01:14:29,954
  5409. We're ending our marriage
  5410.  
  5411. 1209
  5412. 01:14:30,321 --> 01:14:32,389
  5413. because we both know
  5414. that it's over.
  5415.  
  5416. 1210
  5417. 01:14:34,091 --> 01:14:36,091
  5418. We can sell the house
  5419. or you can live in it,
  5420.  
  5421. 1211
  5422. 01:14:36,093 --> 01:14:38,662
  5423. but I'm not going
  5424. to live here anymore.
  5425.  
  5426. 1212
  5427. 01:14:40,764 --> 01:14:43,000
  5428. We'll share custody
  5429. of the girls.
  5430.  
  5431. 1213
  5432. 01:14:44,101 --> 01:14:45,703
  5433. We can tell them together.
  5434.  
  5435. 1214
  5436. 01:14:46,937 --> 01:14:50,439
  5437. We'll talk to their teachers
  5438. and their counselors
  5439.  
  5440. 1215
  5441. 01:14:50,441 --> 01:14:51,976
  5442. or whatever, at school.
  5443.  
  5444. 1216
  5445. 01:14:54,211 --> 01:14:56,213
  5446. I'm not using your infidelity...
  5447.  
  5448. 1217
  5449. 01:14:59,283 --> 01:15:01,185
  5450. as leverage for anything,
  5451.  
  5452. 1218
  5453. 01:15:02,119 --> 01:15:05,156
  5454. except your silence
  5455. in this moment.
  5456.  
  5457. 1219
  5458. 01:15:11,328 --> 01:15:12,396
  5459. Fuck you, Gary.
  5460.  
  5461. 1220
  5462. 01:15:14,331 --> 01:15:16,033
  5463. I wasn't happy either.
  5464.  
  5465. 1221
  5466. 01:15:16,734 --> 01:15:19,904
  5467. We could've at least
  5468. talked about it.
  5469.  
  5470. 1222
  5471. 01:15:20,871 --> 01:15:25,442
  5472. I'm sorry I pretended
  5473. to be happier than I was.
  5474.  
  5475. 1223
  5476. 01:15:27,278 --> 01:15:32,383
  5477. To think that
  5478. you thought I was that stupid.
  5479.  
  5480. 1224
  5481. 01:15:33,384 --> 01:15:34,752
  5482. You know...
  5483.  
  5484. 1225
  5485. 01:15:36,754 --> 01:15:39,188
  5486. I mean, God.
  5487.  
  5488. 1226
  5489. 01:15:39,190 --> 01:15:40,224
  5490. It's so...
  5491.  
  5492. 1227
  5493. 01:15:54,171 --> 01:15:55,873
  5494. God, okay.
  5495.  
  5496. 1228
  5497. 01:15:59,043 --> 01:16:00,409
  5498. Okay.
  5499.  
  5500. 1229
  5501. 01:16:00,411 --> 01:16:01,843
  5502. I don't have to actually ask you
  5503.  
  5504. 1230
  5505. 01:16:01,845 --> 01:16:03,347
  5506. to sleep on the couch, right?
  5507.  
  5508. 1231
  5509. 01:17:36,507 --> 01:17:38,373
  5510. So, did he say anything that
  5511.  
  5512. 1232
  5513. 01:17:38,375 --> 01:17:39,910
  5514. might've made you
  5515. think that he...
  5516.  
  5517. 1233
  5518. 01:17:42,346 --> 01:17:44,012
  5519. - No, no.
  5520. - Perfect.
  5521.  
  5522. 1234
  5523. 01:17:44,014 --> 01:17:45,881
  5524. No, I mean, I knew that
  5525. it was his last show
  5526.  
  5527. 1235
  5528. 01:17:45,883 --> 01:17:48,350
  5529. - as a comedian.
  5530. - Perfect.
  5531.  
  5532. 1236
  5533. 01:17:48,352 --> 01:17:50,385
  5534. And I knew he had the pills,
  5535. but he said
  5536.  
  5537. 1237
  5538. 01:17:50,387 --> 01:17:53,190
  5539. - that they were his ex-wife's, so, uh...
  5540. - Perfect.
  5541.  
  5542. 1238
  5543. 01:17:54,458 --> 01:17:55,592
  5544. I mean, you just...
  5545.  
  5546. 1239
  5547. 01:17:57,561 --> 01:17:58,994
  5548. I just didn't think.
  5549.  
  5550. 1240
  5551. 01:17:58,996 --> 01:18:00,197
  5552. Well, how could you?
  5553.  
  5554. 1241
  5555. 01:18:00,564 --> 01:18:02,230
  5556. It's a crazy thing.
  5557.  
  5558. 1242
  5559. 01:18:02,232 --> 01:18:05,467
  5560. When someone closes up
  5561. their own fishing hole
  5562.  
  5563. 1243
  5564. 01:18:05,469 --> 01:18:07,037
  5565. before the, uh, spring thaw.
  5566.  
  5567. 1244
  5568. 01:18:07,905 --> 01:18:11,608
  5569. - You know, it's, it's sad.
  5570. - Yeah. Yeah.
  5571.  
  5572. 1245
  5573. 01:18:12,343 --> 01:18:13,911
  5574. - Did he leave a note?
  5575. - No.
  5576.  
  5577. 1246
  5578. 01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:17,680
  5579. Uh, maybe you should have this.
  5580.  
  5581. 1247
  5582. 01:18:17,682 --> 01:18:19,116
  5583. It, uh, it belonged to him.
  5584.  
  5585. 1248
  5586. 01:18:19,616 --> 01:18:21,983
  5587. - What is it?
  5588. - Uh, it's his joke book.
  5589.  
  5590. 1249
  5591. 01:18:21,985 --> 01:18:24,553
  5592. Has, like, jokes
  5593. and ideas and thoughts.
  5594.  
  5595. 1250
  5596. 01:18:24,555 --> 01:18:25,422
  5597. Oh.
  5598.  
  5599. 1251
  5600. 01:18:26,190 --> 01:18:27,558
  5601. So, like a diary?
  5602.  
  5603. 1252
  5604. 01:18:28,192 --> 01:18:29,259
  5605. Uh, a journal.
  5606.  
  5607. 1253
  5608. 01:18:30,327 --> 01:18:32,662
  5609. Perfect. Have you, have you
  5610. looked at any of it?
  5611.  
  5612. 1254
  5613. 01:18:32,664 --> 01:18:34,598
  5614. Uh, yeah, pretty much all of it.
  5615.  
  5616. 1255
  5617. 01:18:35,232 --> 01:18:36,431
  5618. Anything I need to see?
  5619.  
  5620. 1256
  5621. 01:18:36,433 --> 01:18:37,468
  5622. Probably not.
  5623.  
  5624. 1257
  5625. 01:18:38,402 --> 01:18:40,571
  5626. Well, if he gave it
  5627. to you then...
  5628.  
  5629. 1258
  5630. 01:18:44,108 --> 01:18:45,876
  5631. Sorry you had to go
  5632. through all this and all.
  5633.  
  5634. 1259
  5635. 01:18:46,243 --> 01:18:48,212
  5636. I need anything else,
  5637. I'll give you a call at home.
  5638.  
  5639. 1260
  5640. 01:18:49,346 --> 01:18:52,015
  5641. Uh, you know, actually,
  5642. I'm, I'm staying here.
  5643.  
  5644. 1261
  5645. 01:18:52,483 --> 01:18:53,450
  5646. Oh.
  5647.  
  5648. 1262
  5649. 01:18:54,318 --> 01:18:55,183
  5650. Yeah, no, it's just
  5651. for a few days.
  5652.  
  5653. 1263
  5654. 01:18:55,185 --> 01:18:57,588
  5655. You know, until
  5656. I can find a place.
  5657.  
  5658. 1264
  5659. 01:18:58,489 --> 01:18:59,390
  5660. Okay.
  5661.  
  5662. 1265
  5663. 01:19:00,023 --> 01:19:01,291
  5664. Say hi to Gary for me.
  5665.  
  5666. 1266
  5667. 01:19:13,637 --> 01:19:15,205
  5668. You fucking asshole.
  5669.  
  5670. 1267
  5671. 01:19:25,315 --> 01:19:26,383
  5672. Hey, uh.
  5673.  
  5674. 1268
  5675. 01:19:27,985 --> 01:19:29,451
  5676. What about his personal things?
  5677.  
  5678. 1269
  5679. 01:19:29,453 --> 01:19:32,154
  5680. Oh, well, they'll be
  5681. right up for those.
  5682.  
  5683. 1270
  5684. 01:19:32,156 --> 01:19:34,022
  5685. We should be all done
  5686. within a couple of hours
  5687.  
  5688. 1271
  5689. 01:19:34,024 --> 01:19:36,258
  5690. and then housekeeping
  5691. can come on in.
  5692.  
  5693. 1272
  5694. 01:19:36,260 --> 01:19:37,626
  5695. There wasn't a big
  5696. mess or anything,
  5697.  
  5698. 1273
  5699. 01:19:37,628 --> 01:19:39,327
  5700. just a little
  5701. throw up on the sheets.
  5702.  
  5703. 1274
  5704. 01:19:39,329 --> 01:19:41,329
  5705. But you might want
  5706. to tell them to give it
  5707.  
  5708. 1275
  5709. 01:19:41,331 --> 01:19:43,200
  5710. an extra pass, you know.
  5711.  
  5712. 1276
  5713. 01:20:30,180 --> 01:20:31,448
  5714. You fucking asshole.
  5715.  
  5716. 1277
  5717. 01:20:41,058 --> 01:20:42,092
  5718. Come along, dear.
  5719.  
  5720. 1278
  5721. 01:20:43,293 --> 01:20:45,193
  5722. Oh, welcome
  5723. to International Falls.
  5724.  
  5725. 1279
  5726. 01:20:45,195 --> 01:20:46,729
  5727. - Checking in?
  5728. - Hi.
  5729.  
  5730. 1280
  5731. 01:20:46,731 --> 01:20:48,430
  5732. Yes, please. One room.
  5733.  
  5734. 1281
  5735. 01:20:48,432 --> 01:20:49,734
  5736. - Ah, sure.
  5737. - Two beds.
  5738.  
  5739. 1282
  5740. 01:20:54,471 --> 01:20:55,773
  5741. Fucking asshole.
  5742.  
  5743. 1283
  5744. 01:21:12,356 --> 01:21:14,191
  5745. Go on,
  5746. there you go, keep going.
  5747.  
  5748. 1284
  5749. 01:21:15,760 --> 01:21:17,261
  5750. Okay, fingers and toes?
  5751.  
  5752. 1285
  5753. 01:21:18,763 --> 01:21:19,664
  5754. All right.
  5755.  
  5756. 1286
  5757. 01:21:21,465 --> 01:21:23,632
  5758. <i>♪ On a stick that
  5759. Makes me sick ♪</i>
  5760.  
  5761. 1287
  5762. 01:21:23,634 --> 01:21:27,235
  5763. <i>♪ That makes my tummy
  5764. Go two, four, six ♪</i>
  5765.  
  5766. 1288
  5767. 01:21:27,237 --> 01:21:30,205
  5768. <i>♪ Not because it's dirty
  5769. Not because it's clean ♪</i>
  5770.  
  5771. 1289
  5772. 01:21:30,207 --> 01:21:33,110
  5773. <i>♪ Just because you kissed
  5774. A boy behind a magazine ♪</i>
  5775.  
  5776. 1290
  5777. 01:21:33,644 --> 01:21:35,445
  5778. Hey!
  5779.  
  5780. 1291
  5781. 01:21:49,894 --> 01:21:52,193
  5782. Just saw a couple
  5783. riding a tandem bike
  5784.  
  5785. 1292
  5786. 01:21:52,195 --> 01:21:54,664
  5787. together unironically.
  5788.  
  5789. 1293
  5790. 01:21:54,666 --> 01:21:58,166
  5791. I will never be
  5792. that happy in my life.
  5793.  
  5794. 1294
  5795. 01:22:00,437 --> 01:22:02,072
  5796. That I don't try and be now.
  5797.  
  5798. 1295
  5799. 01:22:04,408 --> 01:22:05,810
  5800. If you're ready.
  5801.  
  5802. 1296
  5803. 01:22:07,812 --> 01:22:09,313
  5804. Yeah, okay.
  5805.  
  5806. 1297
  5807. 01:22:19,623 --> 01:22:21,558
  5808. Well, welcome
  5809. back to single life.
  5810.  
  5811. 1298
  5812. 01:22:43,480 --> 01:22:44,648
  5813. Did you take your break?
  5814.  
  5815. 1299
  5816. 01:22:45,683 --> 01:22:46,916
  5817. Nope.
  5818.  
  5819. 1300
  5820. 01:22:50,454 --> 01:22:53,725
  5821. Motherfuck,
  5822. it's so goddamn cold!
  5823.  
  5824. 1301
  5825. 01:22:55,392 --> 01:22:56,792
  5826. I mean, I've been
  5827. to Chicago a few times,
  5828.  
  5829. 1302
  5830. 01:22:56,794 --> 01:22:58,595
  5831. but this is fucking cold!
  5832.  
  5833. 1303
  5834. 01:22:59,296 --> 01:23:00,430
  5835. Pardon my French.
  5836.  
  5837. 1304
  5838. 01:23:00,832 --> 01:23:03,166
  5839. No, I know, I know, it is.
  5840.  
  5841. 1305
  5842. 01:23:03,533 --> 01:23:05,668
  5843. Bernie Bryce,
  5844. comedian for tonight.
  5845.  
  5846. 1306
  5847. 01:23:05,670 --> 01:23:07,304
  5848. Yeah, I, I figured.
  5849.  
  5850. 1307
  5851. 01:23:08,773 --> 01:23:11,141
  5852. Were you
  5853. guys here last week?
  5854.  
  5855. 1308
  5856. 01:23:12,576 --> 01:23:15,178
  5857. - Mm-hmm.
  5858. - Did you see the comic, Tim Fletcher?
  5859.  
  5860. 1309
  5861. 01:23:16,948 --> 01:23:19,449
  5862. - Yes.
  5863. - That fucking asshole.
  5864.  
  5865. 1310
  5866. 01:23:20,484 --> 01:23:22,754
  5867. He was a friend of mine.
  5868. Well, I considered him a friend.
  5869.  
  5870. 1311
  5871. 01:23:23,320 --> 01:23:24,954
  5872. I don't know what
  5873. he considered me, but.
  5874.  
  5875. 1312
  5876. 01:23:24,956 --> 01:23:27,923
  5877. You know what? I don't give
  5878. a fuck. We were friends.
  5879.  
  5880. 1313
  5881. 01:23:27,925 --> 01:23:30,627
  5882. We went on the road a few times,
  5883. stuff like that, you know?
  5884.  
  5885. 1314
  5886. 01:23:31,328 --> 01:23:33,863
  5887. I'm sorry, it must be hard.
  5888.  
  5889. 1315
  5890. 01:23:33,865 --> 01:23:34,899
  5891. Yeah.
  5892.  
  5893. 1316
  5894. 01:23:36,333 --> 01:23:37,632
  5895. It is.
  5896.  
  5897. 1317
  5898. 01:23:37,634 --> 01:23:38,535
  5899. Every time.
  5900.  
  5901. 1318
  5902. 01:23:42,439 --> 01:23:44,876
  5903. Hey, are you the one
  5904. who wants to be a comic?
  5905.  
  5906. 1319
  5907. 01:23:45,910 --> 01:23:48,643
  5908. - Um.
  5909. - Yeah, she is.
  5910.  
  5911. 1320
  5912. 01:23:48,645 --> 01:23:50,478
  5913. You know, uh,
  5914. Tim sent me an email,
  5915.  
  5916. 1321
  5917. 01:23:50,480 --> 01:23:51,716
  5918. he knew I was coming this week.
  5919.  
  5920. 1322
  5921. 01:23:52,917 --> 01:23:54,752
  5922. Said you were really funny
  5923. and I should give you some time.
  5924.  
  5925. 1323
  5926. 01:23:55,485 --> 01:23:56,819
  5927. - Time?
  5928. - Yeah.
  5929.  
  5930. 1324
  5931. 01:23:56,821 --> 01:23:58,353
  5932. Stage time.
  5933.  
  5934. 1325
  5935. 01:23:58,355 --> 01:23:59,256
  5936. You want it?
  5937.  
  5938. 1326
  5939. 01:23:59,957 --> 01:24:02,590
  5940. Uh... sure.
  5941.  
  5942. 1327
  5943. 01:24:02,592 --> 01:24:05,593
  5944. Well, right on. All right,
  5945. look. Five would be great,
  5946.  
  5947. 1328
  5948. 01:24:05,595 --> 01:24:07,797
  5949. ten will be even better,
  5950. but I'll take what I can get
  5951.  
  5952. 1329
  5953. 01:24:07,799 --> 01:24:09,801
  5954. and I'll give you
  5955. a 100 bucks out of what I make.
  5956.  
  5957. 1330
  5958. 01:24:11,334 --> 01:24:14,602
  5959. Okay, yeah, sure,
  5960. yes, sure, of course!
  5961.  
  5962. 1331
  5963. 01:24:14,604 --> 01:24:18,007
  5964. All right. All right,
  5965. you know the kid who's, uh, hosting?
  5966.  
  5967. 1332
  5968. 01:24:18,009 --> 01:24:20,408
  5969. - Yes.
  5970. - All right, well, can you fill him in?
  5971.  
  5972. 1333
  5973. 01:24:20,410 --> 01:24:22,011
  5974. - Sure thing.
  5975. - All right.
  5976.  
  5977. 1334
  5978. 01:24:22,013 --> 01:24:24,980
  5979. Yeah. Um, okay, so, uh,
  5980. here's your room. It's, uh,
  5981.  
  5982. 1335
  5983. 01:24:24,982 --> 01:24:26,548
  5984. it's room 219.
  5985.  
  5986. 1336
  5987. 01:24:26,550 --> 01:24:28,485
  5988. - And that's on the second floor?
  5989. - Right.
  5990.  
  5991. 1337
  5992. 01:24:31,555 --> 01:24:33,588
  5993. Hey, are there Canadians here?
  5994.  
  5995. 1338
  5996. 01:24:33,590 --> 01:24:35,290
  5997. 'Cause I, I hate Canadians.
  5998.  
  5999. 1339
  6000. 01:24:35,292 --> 01:24:37,459
  6001. Uh, uh, yes,
  6002. there will be some.
  6003.  
  6004. 1340
  6005. 01:24:37,461 --> 01:24:39,797
  6006. Ah, Goddamn Canadians,
  6007. they suck at heckling.
  6008.  
  6009. 1341
  6010. 01:24:40,430 --> 01:24:42,064
  6011. Yeah, it's just
  6012. constructive criticism.
  6013.  
  6014. 1342
  6015. 01:24:44,836 --> 01:24:46,401
  6016. You're going
  6017. to be funny tonight.
  6018.  
  6019. 1343
  6020. 01:24:54,746 --> 01:24:57,512
  6021. Well, up first, uh,
  6022. tonight we have a hometown gal
  6023.  
  6024. 1344
  6025. 01:24:57,514 --> 01:24:59,347
  6026. making her standup comedy debut.
  6027.  
  6028. 1345
  6029. 01:24:59,349 --> 01:25:01,449
  6030. Uh, she insisted that
  6031. I say that so as
  6032.  
  6033. 1346
  6034. 01:25:01,451 --> 01:25:04,454
  6035. to lower the bar but, uh,
  6036. she won't need any help, she's great.
  6037.  
  6038. 1347
  6039. 01:25:04,889 --> 01:25:09,658
  6040. Please give a lot of love
  6041. to Miss Dee Williamson.
  6042.  
  6043. 1348
  6044. 01:25:09,660 --> 01:25:12,562
  6045. Go Dee!
  6046.  
  6047. 1349
  6048. 01:25:16,868 --> 01:25:20,370
  6049. Hi. Hi, everybody.
  6050. Oh, wait, one second.
  6051.  
  6052. 1350
  6053. 01:25:21,839 --> 01:25:22,940
  6054. Let's get this.
  6055.  
  6056. 1351
  6057. 01:25:23,908 --> 01:25:24,909
  6058. Uh...
  6059.  
  6060. 1352
  6061. 01:25:26,077 --> 01:25:27,644
  6062. I'm just going to record this.
  6063.  
  6064. 1353
  6065. 01:25:28,679 --> 01:25:30,880
  6066. This is going to be worth
  6067. a lot of money someday.
  6068.  
  6069. 1354
  6070. 01:25:30,882 --> 01:25:32,447
  6071. So, okay.
  6072.  
  6073. 1355
  6074. 01:25:32,449 --> 01:25:34,284
  6075. All right, well, okay.
  6076.  
  6077. 1356
  6078. 01:25:35,418 --> 01:25:36,286
  6079. All right.
  6080.  
  6081. 1357
  6082. 01:25:36,988 --> 01:25:39,857
  6083. All right, well, um, uh...
  6084.  
  6085. 1358
  6086. 01:25:40,590 --> 01:25:45,627
  6087. Hi, everybody. Thanks so much,
  6088. whoops, for coming out tonight, um.
  6089.  
  6090. 1359
  6091. 01:25:45,629 --> 01:25:51,969
  6092. As, what's his name said, this
  6093. is my first time doing this.
  6094.  
  6095. 1360
  6096. 01:25:52,937 --> 01:25:58,540
  6097. Um, you might know me from,
  6098. well, uh... anywhere,
  6099.  
  6100. 1361
  6101. 01:25:58,542 --> 01:26:03,645
  6102. uh, because there are
  6103. like five buildings in, uh, the town,
  6104.  
  6105. 1362
  6106. 01:26:03,647 --> 01:26:05,480
  6107. so we all know each other.
  6108.  
  6109. 1363
  6110. 01:26:05,482 --> 01:26:07,149
  6111. Which could hurt me,
  6112. you know, or help me
  6113.  
  6114. 1364
  6115. 01:26:07,151 --> 01:26:09,551
  6116. depending on if you're
  6117. friends with my ex-husband.
  6118.  
  6119. 1365
  6120. 01:26:09,553 --> 01:26:12,154
  6121. So I'm just going to take a little test, you know,
  6122.  
  6123. 1366
  6124. 01:26:12,156 --> 01:26:15,623
  6125. just take the temperature of
  6126. the room and see how it is.
  6127.  
  6128. 1367
  6129. 01:26:15,625 --> 01:26:17,061
  6130. You know,
  6131. see what I'm dealing with.
  6132.  
  6133. 1368
  6134. 01:26:17,895 --> 01:26:22,430
  6135. So, um, so, so,
  6136. my husband's penis is so small
  6137.  
  6138. 1369
  6139. 01:26:22,432 --> 01:26:23,966
  6140. that I got divorced this week.
  6141.  
  6142. 1370
  6143. 01:26:27,404 --> 01:26:29,537
  6144. Yeah, okay. Okay.
  6145.  
  6146. 1371
  6147. 01:26:29,539 --> 01:26:32,007
  6148. That's a good sign,
  6149. that's a good sign.
  6150.  
  6151. 1372
  6152. 01:26:32,009 --> 01:26:35,177
  6153. Um, I, I don't want to be too
  6154. mean because I recognize some of,
  6155.  
  6156. 1373
  6157. 01:26:35,179 --> 01:26:38,681
  6158. uh, I see like an old, uh,
  6159. high school hockey player
  6160.  
  6161. 1374
  6162. 01:26:38,683 --> 01:26:41,183
  6163. friend of his from, from way
  6164. back in the audience, right?
  6165.  
  6166. 1375
  6167. 01:26:41,185 --> 01:26:43,719
  6168. So you, so you already
  6169. know about his tiny dick.
  6170.  
  6171. 1376
  6172. 01:26:45,756 --> 01:26:47,656
  6173. Okay, so. Um.
  6174.  
  6175. 1377
  6176. 01:26:47,658 --> 01:26:50,693
  6177. Okay, so, my ex-husband
  6178. loves pornography. Loves it.
  6179.  
  6180. 1378
  6181. 01:26:50,695 --> 01:26:51,994
  6182. Loves it,
  6183. can't get enough of it.
  6184.  
  6185. 1379
  6186. 01:26:51,996 --> 01:26:53,865
  6187. The kind of porn that he's into
  6188.  
  6189. 1380
  6190. 01:26:54,631 --> 01:26:57,634
  6191. is, uh, it's called CFNM.
  6192.  
  6193. 1381
  6194. 01:26:59,036 --> 01:27:01,103
  6195. Clean Fingers Never
  6196. Masturbate, right?
  6197.  
  6198. 1382
  6199. 01:27:01,105 --> 01:27:02,707
  6200. I mean, right,
  6201. that's what that means.
  6202.  
  6203. 1383
  6204. 01:27:03,207 --> 01:27:05,506
  6205. Right, right? No, no.
  6206.  
  6207. 1384
  6208. 01:27:05,508 --> 01:27:10,380
  6209. It actually means
  6210. Clothed Female Naked Male.
  6211.  
  6212. 1385
  6213. 01:27:11,949 --> 01:27:14,216
  6214. I mean, it, it doesn't really matter to me.
  6215. I mean, we all know
  6216.  
  6217. 1386
  6218. 01:27:14,218 --> 01:27:16,085
  6219. he's watching it for
  6220. the big dicks, right?
  6221.  
  6222. 1387
  6223. 01:27:18,990 --> 01:27:21,625
  6224. Okay, so, uh.
  6225.  
  6226. 1388
  6227. 01:27:29,033 --> 01:27:31,168
  6228. No, um, actually.
  6229.  
  6230. 1389
  6231. 01:27:31,969 --> 01:27:35,706
  6232. Actually, I left my ex-husband,
  6233. uh, because he cheated on me.
  6234.  
  6235. 1390
  6236. 01:27:36,941 --> 01:27:39,643
  6237. Cheated on me.
  6238. Yeah, I know, I caught him.
  6239.  
  6240. 1391
  6241. 01:27:41,578 --> 01:27:42,780
  6242. CFNM.
  6243.  
  6244. 1392
  6245. 01:27:43,580 --> 01:27:45,814
  6246. Corn-Fed Narcissistic
  6247. Motherfucker.
  6248.  
  6249. 1393
  6250. 01:27:45,816 --> 01:27:47,151
  6251. That's what that means.
  6252.  
  6253. 1394
  6254. 01:27:47,952 --> 01:27:50,655
  6255. That's right.
  6256. So, um, so get this.
  6257.  
  6258. 1395
  6259. 01:27:51,689 --> 01:27:52,721
  6260. So get this.
  6261.  
  6262. 1396
  6263. 01:27:52,723 --> 01:27:53,991
  6264. I'm pumping my gas...
  6265.  
  6266. 1397
  6267. 01:27:55,192 --> 01:27:56,626
  6268. all on my own,
  6269.  
  6270. 1398
  6271. 01:27:57,862 --> 01:28:00,064
  6272. because now I'm divorced and
  6273. I'm free and I'm independent.
  6274.  
  6275. 1399
  6276. 01:28:00,865 --> 01:28:02,965
  6277. Guess who pulls up
  6278. right next to me,
  6279.  
  6280. 1400
  6281. 01:28:02,967 --> 01:28:04,135
  6282. while I'm at the gas station?
  6283.  
  6284. 1401
  6285. 01:28:05,202 --> 01:28:08,806
  6286. Guess who,
  6287. just take a wild stab.
  6288.  
  6289. 1402
  6290. 01:28:09,506 --> 01:28:13,144
  6291. I mean, I knew I was going
  6292. to see her eventually, right?
  6293.  
  6294. 1403
  6295. 01:28:14,211 --> 01:28:17,179
  6296. But only in this stupid
  6297. charming fucking little town
  6298.  
  6299. 1404
  6300. 01:28:17,181 --> 01:28:19,547
  6301. would it happen that fast.
  6302.  
  6303. 1405
  6304. 01:28:19,549 --> 01:28:21,684
  6305. I mean, so, yeah,
  6306.  
  6307. 1406
  6308. 01:28:21,686 --> 01:28:23,719
  6309. there she was
  6310. right in front of me.
  6311.  
  6312. 1407
  6313. 01:28:23,721 --> 01:28:25,156
  6314. So I did the mature thing...
  6315.  
  6316. 1408
  6317. 01:28:27,191 --> 01:28:29,894
  6318. and I follow her in.
  6319.  
  6320. 1409
  6321. 01:28:30,795 --> 01:28:31,963
  6322. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
  6323.  
  6324. 1410
  6325. 01:28:33,030 --> 01:28:34,763
  6326. I follow her in,
  6327. and when I get in there,
  6328.  
  6329. 1411
  6330. 01:28:34,765 --> 01:28:36,832
  6331. you know, she's not
  6332. in there and I'm thinking,
  6333.  
  6334. 1412
  6335. 01:28:36,834 --> 01:28:39,234
  6336. "Where did, where did
  6337. this girl go? Did she, uh,
  6338.  
  6339. 1413
  6340. 01:28:39,236 --> 01:28:41,138
  6341. did she just vanish
  6342. right back to hell?
  6343.  
  6344. 1414
  6345. 01:28:41,806 --> 01:28:43,205
  6346. Or she's in the bathroom
  6347. throwing up
  6348.  
  6349. 1415
  6350. 01:28:43,207 --> 01:28:45,606
  6351. to make more room
  6352. for my husband's semen."
  6353.  
  6354. 1416
  6355. 01:28:47,278 --> 01:28:49,878
  6356. There's like a bunch of
  6357. canes over here, like, by, uh,
  6358.  
  6359. 1417
  6360. 01:28:49,880 --> 01:28:51,747
  6361. you know, like
  6362. the kind of shit you see
  6363.  
  6364. 1418
  6365. 01:28:51,749 --> 01:28:55,684
  6366. in like, Cracker Barrel and
  6367. stuff. And so, I pick up a cane.
  6368.  
  6369. 1419
  6370. 01:28:55,686 --> 01:28:58,619
  6371. No fucking clue what
  6372. I'm going to say or do,
  6373.  
  6374. 1420
  6375. 01:28:58,621 --> 01:29:02,291
  6376. when yes, she opens the door.
  6377.  
  6378. 1421
  6379. 01:29:02,293 --> 01:29:05,763
  6380. And like, I mean,
  6381. I'm razor-focused on this bitch,
  6382.  
  6383. 1422
  6384. 01:29:06,130 --> 01:29:10,866
  6385. and she looks a bit startled,
  6386. if not a bit scared, right?
  6387.  
  6388. 1423
  6389. 01:29:10,868 --> 01:29:12,069
  6390. At what I'm going to do.
  6391.  
  6392. 1424
  6393. 01:29:12,970 --> 01:29:14,737
  6394. And I lay it on her with this.
  6395.  
  6396. 1425
  6397. 01:29:19,844 --> 01:29:20,878
  6398. Is this yours?
  6399.  
  6400. 1426
  6401. 01:29:22,213 --> 01:29:23,147
  6402. No.
  6403.  
  6404. 1427
  6405. 01:29:23,981 --> 01:29:25,648
  6406. Oh, oh, okay.
  6407.  
  6408. 1428
  6409. 01:29:26,017 --> 01:29:27,018
  6410. Okay.
  6411.  
  6412. 1429
  6413. 01:29:28,252 --> 01:29:29,854
  6414. But then
  6415. all of a sudden this...
  6416.  
  6417. 1430
  6418. 01:29:31,722 --> 01:29:37,728
  6419. this wall of shit smell
  6420. comes all over my body,
  6421.  
  6422. 1431
  6423. 01:29:38,329 --> 01:29:43,065
  6424. up into my nostrils...
  6425. and into my lungs,
  6426.  
  6427. 1432
  6428. 01:29:43,067 --> 01:29:46,170
  6429. and I'm thinking, "Oh, my God."
  6430.  
  6431. 1433
  6432. 01:29:46,871 --> 01:29:48,603
  6433. And I look at her and I say:
  6434.  
  6435. 1434
  6436. 01:29:48,605 --> 01:29:50,839
  6437. Wait. You poop
  6438.  
  6439. 1435
  6440. 01:29:50,841 --> 01:29:52,808
  6441. in gas station bathrooms?
  6442.  
  6443. 1436
  6444. 01:29:57,248 --> 01:29:59,081
  6445. You're disgusting!
  6446.  
  6447. 1437
  6448. 01:30:03,354 --> 01:30:04,255
  6449. All right.
  6450.  
  6451. 1438
  6452. 01:30:06,157 --> 01:30:07,790
  6453. And then I beat her
  6454. to death with the cane.
  6455.  
  6456. 1439
  6457. 01:30:16,233 --> 01:30:17,134
  6458. I did.
  6459.  
  6460. 1440
  6461. 01:30:18,269 --> 01:30:21,571
  6462. I did, you guys. That cane is
  6463. nowhere to be found now.
  6464.  
  6465. 1441
  6466. 01:30:22,039 --> 01:30:25,076
  6467. I don't know where it is, but if it
  6468. ever comes back to me, it ain't mine.
  6469.  
  6470. 1442
  6471. 01:30:25,810 --> 01:30:26,909
  6472. No, uh.
  6473.  
  6474. 1443
  6475. 01:30:37,421 --> 01:30:39,154
  6476. - No.
  6477. - Stay away!
  6478.  
  6479. 1444
  6480. 01:30:39,156 --> 01:30:40,658
  6481. Get away!
  6482.  
  6483. 1445
  6484. 01:30:50,134 --> 01:30:53,669
  6485. So, yes, I'm a freshly divorced
  6486. mother of two,
  6487.  
  6488. 1446
  6489. 01:30:53,671 --> 01:30:57,039
  6490. with an alarmingly low amount
  6491. of menstrual cycles left,
  6492.  
  6493. 1447
  6494. 01:30:57,041 --> 01:31:00,375
  6495. embarking on a comedy
  6496. career in standup.
  6497.  
  6498. 1448
  6499. 01:31:00,377 --> 01:31:03,946
  6500. That's right. That's right, fellas,
  6501.  
  6502. 1449
  6503. 01:31:03,948 --> 01:31:06,215
  6504. the line starts right here.
  6505.  
  6506. 1450
  6507. 01:31:06,217 --> 01:31:07,382
  6508. It's right here.
  6509.  
  6510. 1451
  6511. 01:31:07,384 --> 01:31:08,319
  6512. CFNM?
  6513.  
  6514. 1452
  6515. 01:31:08,886 --> 01:31:11,453
  6516. Clitoris Finds New Meaning.
  6517.  
  6518. 1453
  6519. 01:31:13,290 --> 01:31:15,124
  6520. But I should really
  6521. warn you guys.
  6522.  
  6523. 1454
  6524. 01:31:15,126 --> 01:31:17,126
  6525. I mean, seriously,
  6526. I really need to warn you guys
  6527.  
  6528. 1455
  6529. 01:31:17,128 --> 01:31:21,098
  6530. that the, the, uh,
  6531. the last man I fucked
  6532.  
  6533. 1456
  6534. 01:31:21,732 --> 01:31:23,367
  6535. committed suicide right after.
  6536.  
  6537. 1457
  6538. 01:31:26,170 --> 01:31:28,837
  6539. Now, if that's not a mindfuck,
  6540. I don't know what is.
  6541.  
  6542. 1458
  6543. 01:31:28,839 --> 01:31:32,007
  6544. I mean, I get it. I, I get it,
  6545. you don't want a second date.
  6546.  
  6547. 1459
  6548. 01:31:36,413 --> 01:31:39,181
  6549. I was a little depressed,
  6550. after that,
  6551.  
  6552. 1460
  6553. 01:31:39,183 --> 01:31:42,753
  6554. you know, in fairness,
  6555. I was, you know? You know?
  6556.  
  6557. 1461
  6558. 01:31:43,154 --> 01:31:45,454
  6559. I mean, driving a man
  6560. to his death just from
  6561.  
  6562. 1462
  6563. 01:31:45,456 --> 01:31:47,990
  6564. the sheer disappointment
  6565. of fucking me?
  6566.  
  6567. 1463
  6568. 01:31:50,861 --> 01:31:54,396
  6569. It's harsh, it's harsh.
  6570. I mean, my God.
  6571.  
  6572. 1464
  6573. 01:31:54,398 --> 01:31:57,933
  6574. But then I changed my mind,
  6575. 'cause I thought
  6576.  
  6577. 1465
  6578. 01:31:57,935 --> 01:32:00,903
  6579. maybe after we, you know,
  6580. we, we put on our clothes
  6581.  
  6582. 1466
  6583. 01:32:00,905 --> 01:32:04,375
  6584. and said our goodbyes,
  6585. that he had a thought,
  6586.  
  6587. 1467
  6588. 01:32:05,109 --> 01:32:06,777
  6589. you know,
  6590. and that he realized...
  6591.  
  6592. 1468
  6593. 01:32:08,012 --> 01:32:09,945
  6594. it's never going to get
  6595. any better than that.
  6596.  
  6597. 1469
  6598. 01:32:09,947 --> 01:32:12,781
  6599. Right?
  6600.  
  6601. 1470
  6602. 01:32:12,783 --> 01:32:15,951
  6603. I mean, I made a bucket list
  6604.  
  6605. 1471
  6606. 01:32:15,953 --> 01:32:17,920
  6607. and a fuck it list in one night.
  6608.  
  6609. 1472
  6610. 01:32:17,922 --> 01:32:20,758
  6611. I, I am the pinnacle.
  6612.  
  6613. 1473
  6614. 01:32:21,325 --> 01:32:24,195
  6615. I am Everest.
  6616.  
  6617. 1474
  6618. 01:32:25,196 --> 01:32:27,031
  6619. The Aurora Borealis.
  6620.  
  6621. 1475
  6622. 01:32:27,798 --> 01:32:28,966
  6623. The Grand Canyon.
  6624.  
  6625. 1476
  6626. 01:32:29,967 --> 01:32:32,234
  6627. Seriously, I've had two children.
  6628.  
  6629. 1477
  6630. 01:32:32,236 --> 01:32:38,073
  6631. I mean, once you've had me...
  6632. there's no reason to go on.
  6633.  
  6634. 1478
  6635. 01:32:40,544 --> 01:32:42,146
  6636. But please, folks...
  6637.  
  6638. 1479
  6639. 01:32:43,847 --> 01:32:44,882
  6640. please.
  6641.  
  6642. 1480
  6643. 01:32:49,954 --> 01:32:50,988
  6644. Try.
  6645.  
  6646. 1481
  6647. 01:33:02,995 --> 01:33:07,995
  6648. Subtitles by explosiveskull
  6649. www.OpenSubtitles.org
RAW Paste Data
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy. OK, I Understand
Top