Queso

Backstory:
Queso joined our TS3 channel and asked us this: ""Queso": do you guys know anyone that can fry routers, cynder?"
We asked why and told him that DDoSing is for fags and it's easy as shit to do. We asked why he wanted to know, got defensive about it and left, so I pm'd him on Steam, knowing it turn out to be hilarious.

Beartato: Maximum levels of gay for Queso. Gonna down someones RSPS because you're mad?
we've been speckledwarfed!: 1 quesiton
we've been speckledwarfed!: how fucking dumb are you
we've been speckledwarfed!: i lied, another one
we've been speckledwarfed!: how much of an egotistical mormon are you
we've been speckledwarfed!: ?
we've been speckledwarfed!: i dont play runescape or anything related to runescape you autistic ape
Beartato: Lol, why are you SO MAD
we've been speckledwarfed!: Lol, why are you SO BAD AT TROLLING
we've been speckledwarfed!: if you're going to troll
we've been speckledwarfed!: at least do it right
we've been speckledwarfed!: you fucking downy..
Beartato: I'm not even trying to troll. We were literally asking why you were asking, and you got MEGA PISSED.
we've been speckledwarfed!: it's none of your business?
we've been speckledwarfed!: literally
we've been speckledwarfed!: you act like you're the coolest kid in the on the internet
we've been speckledwarfed!: seriously, kill yourself
Beartato: 1. If you ask us if we know someone that can do it, it 100% is reasonable to ask why. There is no legitimate reason for needing to DDoS, so why don't you just tell us?
2. I'm not trying to act cool, you are by trying to DDoS. Unless you have a good reason for it (gl trying to come up with one)
we've been speckledwarfed!: 1. why does it matter to you? is your name cynder? no? quit dicking
we've been speckledwarfed!: 2. you always act like you're tough internet shit. i don't play runescape, and it means nothing to me
we've been speckledwarfed!: it's nothing even relating to anything
we've been speckledwarfed!: that you know.
Beartato: LOL, Cynder asked why, too. God damn kid.
The RS thing was a joke, which you clearly can't take.
we've been speckledwarfed!: "kid"
we've been speckledwarfed!: >can't outsmart a "kid"
we've been speckledwarfed!: listen, "kid", you know nothing
we've been speckledwarfed!: just hurt yourself
Beartato: I call everyone kid, kid, get over it holy shit.
we've been speckledwarfed!: quit getting assmad because you got smacked via trolling
we've been speckledwarfed!: and now you're butthurt about it
Beartato: Why are you SO MAD over a JOKE. Holy shit
Beartato: LOL
we've been speckledwarfed!: why are you CAPITALIZING every other WORD?
Beartato: Putting EMPHASIS because there is no ITALICS. Holy shit man
we've been speckledwarfed!: and why do you think "mad" is funny? you have the knowledge of an infant and troll like an kid in a wheelchair
we've been speckledwarfed!: god damn, stupid kids are annoying lmfao
we've been speckledwarfed! is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.
Beartato: Okay, on a serious level, childish insults like this "you have the knowledge of an infant and troll like an kid in a wheelchair" make you seem like an edgy little child. And I do think it's funny that you are mad, because there is no legitimate reason for it. We simply asked why you wanted to DDoS someone, because like your insult towards me, it's generally a childish thing to do.
we've been speckledwarfed!: even if it is childish, it's still nothing to do with you
we've been speckledwarfed!: i was doing NOTHING
we've been speckledwarfed!: relating to you
we've been speckledwarfed!: IE: you have no reason to speak to me
Beartato: And the fact that you won't tell us why means it has even less importance and that you are infact, an edgy little boy.
we've been speckledwarfed!: and that matters?
we've been speckledwarfed!: you think i care about what some random spastic thinks of me
we've been speckledwarfed!: on the internet
we've been speckledwarfed!: legit loling
Beartato: It doesn't. Why does it matter that we asked then?
we've been speckledwarfed!: that didnt make sense
Beartato: How does it not make sense? You say the reason does not matter, so why does it matter that we asked? Same concept.
we've been speckledwarfed!: here's the idae
we've been speckledwarfed!: idea*
we've been speckledwarfed!: it doesn't matter
we've been speckledwarfed!: it wasn't relating to you
we've been speckledwarfed!: so i don't even know why you spoke
we've been speckledwarfed!: considering your name isn't cynder
we've been speckledwarfed!: is it
we've been speckledwarfed!: ?
Beartato: He asked you as well. What do you have to say now?
we've been speckledwarfed!: that it doesn't matter after he said no
Beartato: Lol, so really, what was it for? I'm not trying to be an ass or anything, I'm just legitimately curious what is making you so defensive about all this?
we've been speckledwarfed!: nothing that your childish mind can comprehend
Beartato: You insult me constantly and tell me to kill myself while getting mad at me for asking a simple question as to why you requested someone to DDoS someone else, and yet you say I have the childish mind?
we've been speckledwarfed!: and
we've been speckledwarfed!: keep msgs me
Beartato: Lol, that's the best you've got for that? Wow, you really told me!
we've been speckledwarfed!: is it that hard to realize that i'm not talking anymore because you're an idiot
we've been speckledwarfed!: and you have no reason to type tom
we've been speckledwarfed!: e
Beartato: Lol, you have yet to explain why I'm such an "idiot" or have such a "childish mind". Behind your insults you have zero reasoning. You insulting me is enough reason for me to reply, is it not? I have the right to ask why you're insulting me at least.
Beartato: Or is that something that 'my childish mind wouldn't understand'?
we've been speckledwarfed!: because
we've been speckledwarfed!: i feel like it
Beartato: Wow, good reason. You know I've got to say about that?
I asked you why you needed the DDoS because I felt like it.
we've been speckledwarfed!: and
Beartato: And?
we've been speckledwarfed!: continue
Beartato: That was the only explaination you gave me, why should I give more?
we've been speckledwarfed!: and
Beartato: top tier trolling you got going man
Beartato: hue
we've been speckledwarfed!: and
we've been speckledwarfed!: go back to bed child
Beartato: Lol, I used the same things you said and now you don't like them?
we've been speckledwarfed!: keep trying
we've been speckledwarfed!: you're literally going to prove nothing
Beartato: Trying for what? I'm not trying to do anything.
Beartato: What am I "trying to prove"
we've been speckledwarfed!: you tell me
we've been speckledwarfed!: you keep responding
Beartato: So do you?
we've been speckledwarfed!: aight ape
Beartato: Lol, more insults. Good one.
we've been speckledwarfed!: ok
Beartato: I have legitimately never met someone so easily mad as you. I don't even understand.
we've been speckledwarfed!: i have legitimately never met someone who confused "mad" and "replying" as much as you do.
we've been speckledwarfed!: it honestly hurts my head to talk to you
Beartato: Your constant insults toward me while lacking any reasonable backing to your motive hints that you are mad. That, or an edgy child. Your choice.
we've been speckledwarfed!: and how are you not mad
we've been speckledwarfed!: ?
we've been speckledwarfed!: how does "edgy"
we've been speckledwarfed!: relate
we've been speckledwarfed!: to anything
Beartato: edg·y "Tense, nervous, or irritable: "he became edgy and defensive" "
we've been speckledwarfed!: i don't see why you put the definition
we've been speckledwarfed!: i asked how it relates to anything
we've been speckledwarfed! is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.
Beartato: You asked how it related. You are being defensive and getting upset and trying to insult me and telling me to kill myself. That's how it relates.
we've been speckledwarfed!: cool
Beartato: Lol, you asked.
we've been speckledwarfed!: cool
Beartato: Good one.
we've been speckledwarfed!: cool
Beartato: Neat.
Beartato: So Queso, quick question
we've been speckledwarfed!: no
Beartato: Who did you want DDoS'd?
Beartato: And why?
we've been speckledwarfed!: my cat
we've been speckledwarfed!: he meow too much
we've been speckledwarfed!: not enough barking
Beartato: Oh that's understandable. Why didn't you just say that from the start?
we've been speckledwarfed!: autism, sorry
Beartato: Oh, I could tell, yea
we've been speckledwarfed!: yeah i'm honestly a homosexual

A few days later, after seeing this:
queso: lol u made a pastebin of me
queso: on ur profile
queso: please im famous
queso is now Offline.
queso is currently offline, they will receive your message the next time they log in.
Beartato: Lol, of course man! It was originally just for Cynder, but I figured you could be famous on my super-popular Steam profile <3
queso is now Online.
queso: thanks cx cx cx