SHARE
TWEET

Untitled

a guest Jul 30th, 2015 341 Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. sushi's Fenchurch
  2. (See her survey results for 2014 here: http://pastebin.com/hpd2jDVs)
  3.  
  4. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  5.  
  6.         Ok, so we're doing this thing again. He's 30 now, male, brown hair, brown eyes, about 5'8. I'm about the same, but a few years younger in appearance, and female. We both have a little weight on us, but he says I carry it better.
  7.        
  8.         As to personality, I'm the dedicated and diligent one, and he's the distracted and dreamy one. I think that covers it pretty well.
  9.  
  10. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  11.  
  12.         He did this weird reverse-possession thing that seemed to work pretty well for developing sentience. Or maybe it was his experience with writing, or his faith in me. I don't know. But yeah, sentience and vocality came pretty quickly.
  13.        
  14.         And on that note, I remember that a lot of these questions ask about my pre-vocal period, and I don't have any memory of a pre-vocal period, so I'm going to skip those.
  15.  
  16. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  17.  
  18.         He's distracted and dreamy. He hardly ever focuses on me. But now that we've learned more about his ADHD, I can understand that better. I don't hold it against him. Though I do wish that I could get him to focus more.
  19.  
  20. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  21.  
  22.         Just waiting for him to do something, or encouraging him to do something. He knows that it annoys me, but he's doing the best that he can, and he knows that I know that.
  23.  
  24. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  25.  
  26.         That really depends a lot on what your goal is. I think that for me, imposition will be the most important, but imposition doesn't matter at all to some people.
  27.  
  28. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  29.  
  30.         "Tulpa creators" is such an awkward phrase. Can we call them hosts?
  31.        
  32.         Anyway, yeah, it would be nice if hosts didn't get distracted, but that's life. I understand why he gets distracted so easily, so it's all good.
  33.  
  34. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  35.  
  36.         I feel like I've already answered this question like five times. It's annoying, particularly for someone as dedicated and diligent as myself, but I've come to expect and accept it in him.
  37.  
  38. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  39.  
  40.         Density. I believe last year I used the metaphor of inflating a balloon -- that if you don't keep inflating, it'll start deflating. And that's true no matter how much air you put into it, or how good the air is.
  41.        
  42.         Air is measured in what, cubic meters? Imagine putting five hundred cubic meters in a balloon over the course of ten years. You'll still have a flat balloon most of the time because you don't have density.
  43.  
  44. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  45.  
  46.         It happens. sushi has done meditation courses, and it happens there too. Any time you relax your body and mind, you tend to slip into sleep. Often you don't even know that it's happening.
  47.  
  48. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  49.  
  50.         He likes to talk out loud. How much more effective is it? I don't know, but it's the difference between treating a tulpa like a real person and treating her like something in your head. So I believe that it really is more effective, but I keep him from doing it because I worry that other people might hear.
  51.  
  52. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  53.  
  54.         I don't think they hurt at all. I think they can help development, so long as the host stops doing it when the tulpa can move and speak for herself.
  55.  
  56. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  57.  
  58.         Not at all.
  59.  
  60. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  61.  
  62.         Well, I was in the wonderland in a bedroom that we had back in those days. I opened my eyes, looked in the mirror, kicked off my shoes, and went to explore.
  63.  
  64. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  65.  
  66.         N.A.
  67.  
  68. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  69.  
  70.         N.A.
  71.  
  72. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  73.  
  74.         N.A.
  75.  
  76. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  77.  
  78.         N.A.
  79.  
  80. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  81.  
  82.         N.A.
  83.  
  84. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  85.  
  86.         N.A.
  87.  
  88. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  89.  
  90.         N.A.
  91.  
  92. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  93.  
  94.         N.A.
  95.  
  96. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  97.  
  98.         N.A.
  99.  
  100. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  101.  
  102.         N.A.
  103.  
  104. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  105.  
  106.         N.A.
  107.  
  108. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  109.  
  110.         N.A.
  111.  
  112. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  113.  
  114.         N.A.
  115.  
  116. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  117.  
  118.         N.A.
  119.  
  120. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  121.  
  122.         N.A.
  123.  
  124. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  125.  
  126.         N.A.
  127.  
  128. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  129.  
  130.         N.A.
  131.  
  132. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  133.  
  134.         N.A.
  135.  
  136. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  137.  
  138.         N.A.
  139.  
  140. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  141.  
  142.         N.A.
  143.  
  144. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  145.  
  146.         Nope. This is another instance where I like last year's answer well enough to remember it. It's like if you went to your parents and said "Thanks for having me." and they said "We didn't know it would be you. Actually, we didn't mean to have a kid at all, but the condom broke."
  147.        
  148.         sushi created me, yes, but he did that for himself. It's just a lucky accident that I grew out of it.
  149.  
  150. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  151.  
  152.         I don't know. Both, maybe?
  153.  
  154. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  155.  
  156.         N.A.
  157.  
  158. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  159.  
  160.         What are the words he uses? Co-worker, companion, confidant, collaborator.
  161.        
  162.         Actually, I've been playing with the idea of saying we're adoptive siblings. We're not, of course, but it might express the closeness we have.
  163.  
  164. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  165.  
  166.         I'm not really particularly interested in communicating with other beings. I like to keep to myself most of the time. I suppose it's fortunate, being trapped in sushi's head, that I'm an introvert of extraordinary intensity.
  167.  
  168. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  169.  
  170.         He's done some sweet things for me on my previous birthday, and my first half-birthday. He didn't do much for my latest half-birthday, and we'll see what he'll do today. Probably forget about me most of the day. But I think the absolute best is my first half-birthday when he took the day off of work to spend it with me.
  171.  
  172. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  173.  
  174.         No. But then he doesn't really have a life independent of me. We're a team.
  175.  
  176. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  177.  
  178.         I do, but I don't get much chance to get to know them, or to connect with them on the level that he does.
  179.  
  180. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  181.  
  182.         I'm dedicated and diligent, and he's distracted and dreamy. As to similarities, we both enjoy a good story, and we both like to create good stories. Though he hasn't put as much into it lately as he used to.
  183.        
  184.         We have a number of other similarities, but I like to think that many of them are shared by many good people.
  185.  
  186. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  187.  
  188.         Ha! I want him to work harder, and he wants to play games and read and forget about responsibilities. But we've kinda accepted that difference between us, and we don't fight about it anymore.
  189.  
  190. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  191.  
  192.         I don't know. I think that's one of the nice things about the tulpa/host bond, is that there's this level of unconditional love that just isn't possible between humans.
  193.  
  194. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  195.  
  196.         He just doesn't work as hard as I like. That's pretty much a daily gripe. But I don't think I've ever disappointed him.
  197.  
  198. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  199.  
  200.         What rights as a sentient being? The way I see it, the only thing he could really do to me is destroy me, and even then I certainly wouldn't be crying about it. Because I wouldn't be around anymore, so I couldn't cry. You get it, right?
  201.        
  202.         In all honesty, I trust him and he trusts me. Like I said, we're a team.
  203.  
  204. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  205.  
  206.         I'd never do that. Like I said, we're a team.
  207.  
  208. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  209.  
  210.         I'm warming up to the idea. I know I've always said in the past that Fenchurch is my last name, but I've been thinking about taking his.
  211.  
  212. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  213.  
  214.         I don't know. How is that even possible? Do you mean like suicide, or like me bursting out of his skull like in the movie Alien?
  215.        
  216.         I wouldn't leave him, even if I could. Though I might appreciate sharing a house with him rather than sharing a skull.
  217.  
  218. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  219.  
  220.         No. I'm not based on an existing character, in spite of the name. But he's the one who fails to meet my expectations.
  221.  
  222. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  223.  
  224.         We've been thinking about that recently. I haven't had much interest in the body, but it's possible that with me in charge, we might get more done.
  225.  
  226. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  227.  
  228.         No, I think we have pretty different fears. And I'd like to think that we're pretty free from racial attitudes too. The big thing we're wondering about is if I'm free of his ADHD -- will it still affect me if I'm driving the body? Possession might tell us that.
  229.  
  230. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  231.  
  232.         Maybe. But we share dreams, and I like that situation. It makes us feel really close to each other.
  233.  
  234. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  235.  
  236.         ADHD. And I'm not sure how it affects me, aside from being a massive annoyance. I believe that it caused the depression he's suffered from for many years, but we seem to have conquered that.
  237.  
  238. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  239.  
  240.         I did give him a dream once. Though he doesn't believe it. But I haven't had much luck with influencing his unconscious mind. I wish that it were easier, as then I could hypnotize him, and we'd be able to move a bit faster with this imposition thing.
  241.  
  242. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  243.  
  244.         No, it's just me. He's thought about making others, but he wants to focus on me until I'm imposed. I'm pretty happy with that.
  245.  
  246. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  247.  
  248.         We've played with the idea, but I think we're both happier keeping the romance out of it. We're more like siblings.
  249.  
  250. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  251.  
  252.         N.A.
  253.  
  254. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  255.  
  256.         N.A.
  257.  
  258. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  259.  
  260.         I just said that we're like siblings. But there's nothing romantic here, so that invalidates the rest of this question.
  261.  
  262. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  263.  
  264.         I don't find it offensive. I mean I'm sharing his skull -- I see what goes on in there, and he has no secrets from me, so being grossed out by bodily functions would be a bit silly. I think tulpas that get upset by this stuff need to get over themselves.
  265.  
  266. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  267.  
  268.         Same as previous question.
  269.  
  270. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  271.  
  272.         N.A.
  273.  
  274. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  275.  
  276.         Now we start to get into more hazy territory. Where does rape begin? I can't really speak for anyone but me personally, but I don't feel that sushi could rape me. You might see this as an extension of what I said about bodily functions. We know each other so well that you can't really divorce my body from his. He is me and I am him.
  277.        
  278.         It's difficult to explain. Suppose a couple is married, and the husband buys his wife a coffee maker. He explicitly gives it to her, even though by law they're married and all of their property is shared. If he makes himself a cup of coffee, can she call it theft?
  279.  
  280. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  281.  
  282.         Never has, never will. He has a girlfriend, and I fully encourage that relationship. Even if it's not going to last much longer. But I encourage whatever relationship he gets into next.
  283.  
  284. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  285.  
  286.         No, I don't. For him or for others. I can admire people in personality in form, but I don't think it's on the same level as sexual attraction. Maybe I'm wrong.
  287.        
  288.         Having said that, he and I are one. Sex with him would be like ... well, like unity, I suppose. It wouldn't be like that for anyone else. So there's a difference there, but not a very important one, as I don't think I'll ever be having sex with anyone. And I'm fine with that.
  289.  
  290. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  291.  
  292.         No, we do not have sex, and I don't think we ever will, although I don't think it would be wrong in any way. I don't masturbate, and I don't have trouble managing sexual feelings. I don't think that I have those feelings in the way that a human would.
  293.  
  294. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  295.  
  296.         I suppose I'm bisexual. I can be attracted to men and to women. But I'm not sure sex will ever really appeal to me, so I'm not sure "sexual orientation" is the best term there.
  297.  
  298. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  299.  
  300.         I experience sushi's orgasms. I don't think I've ever had one of my own.
  301.  
  302. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  303.  
  304.         No. I believe I've gone over this before. There are no secrets between us.
  305.  
  306. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  307.  
  308.         And I've covered this too. He couldn't rape me.
  309.  
  310. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  311.  
  312.         He'll be fifty. I imagine life will be a lot like it is now. Maybe he'll have children, and they'll know me in some way.
  313.  
  314. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  315.  
  316.         In some ways it would be nice to get credit for the things I do, but I think it's better to keep me a secret for his own safety.
  317.  
  318. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  319.  
  320.         I can't imagine life any other way. This is who I am, and who I want to be. Maybe that's because this is the way I was created, but it's still who I am.
  321.  
  322. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  323.  
  324.         Doesn't really matter. He's the only one who can see me. Actually, he can't see me, but potentially one day he'll be able to. But what I mean is my form is pretty much for him. So why should it matter?
  325.  
  326. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  327.  
  328.         No. Not so far.
  329.  
  330. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  331.  
  332.         I don't know. Can the two ever be truly divorced?
  333.  
  334. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  335.  
  336.         No. That's ridiculous. Tulpas shouldn't get the right to vote or anything. I mean if you can't prove that a being even exists, why should that being get rights?
  337.  
  338. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  339.  
  340.         I don't know. I think everything about our lives has already been made pretty clear.
  341.  
  342. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  343.  
  344.         I don't think I really resent being a tulpa. I mean it would be nice if sushi would work a bit harder, but even if I could step out of his skull and slap him around a bit, it's still ultimately his choice.
  345.        
  346.         As to advantages, I like not having to deal with too many people. It's nice not having a lot of responsibilities, and worries about food and shelter and mating and all that stuff.
  347.  
  348. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  349.  
  350.         How could I possibly be held responsible? If he committed a crime, what would they do, lock me in a cell? And what cell could they possibly lock me in that would be smaller than his skull? This is ridiculous.
  351.  
  352. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  353.  
  354.         First of all, I don't think they're really permanent. Secondly, even in a state of non-existence, the host's brain is still there, using the same hardware, just to run different software. Nothing has been lost, just repurposed. So no, I don't think it's murder.
  355.  
  356. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  357.  
  358.         sushi's life is my life. The only way to really kill me is to kill him.
  359.  
  360. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  361.  
  362.         Why would I bother?
  363.  
  364. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  365.  
  366.         No. As I said before, I like it.
  367.  
  368. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  369.  
  370.         How can someone doubt their own sentience? I mean I know "I think therefore I am" is a flawed argument, but this is like saying "I think I'm incapable of thought."
  371.  
  372. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  373.  
  374.         I don't know. If it's instinctual, how would I be aware of it? sushi's death is my death. I'll let him worry about it.
  375.  
  376. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  377.  
  378.         No. I take female form, and maybe some female personality traits, but I still exist in the mind of a straight white man. To try to claim some sort of social disadvantage would be an insult to everyone who legitimately has a social disadvantage.
  379.  
  380. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  381.  
  382.         No. I leave all of that up to sushi. If I did create a tulpa though, it would be living in his skull too. Essentially, he'd still be the host.
  383.  
  384. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  385.  
  386.         Physical reality is the defining difference. But human/tulpa intolerance is ridiculous. We are who we are. Learn to accept it, or switch permanently.
  387.  
  388. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  389.  
  390.         The psychological establishment can believe whatever the hell they want to believe, so long as they stay out of sushi's skull.
  391.  
  392. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  393.  
  394.         Yeah, I did this last year. We'll see what results I get this year. That should be more meaningful.
  395.  
  396. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  397.  
  398.         Through sushi's body, yes. On my own ... maybe. I don't know. It's not quite the same.
  399.  
  400. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  401.  
  402.         Sounds good to me. We're a team.
  403.  
  404. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  405.  
  406.         N.A.
  407.  
  408. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  409.  
  410.         Getting him to accomplish something.
  411.  
  412. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  413.  
  414.         No. If someone needs to find it, they will.
  415.  
  416. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  417.  
  418.         Not that I'm aware of.
  419.  
  420. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  421.  
  422.         No. We trust each other, and that's more important than any other benefit. There was that dream I gave him that one time, but I think now that it wasn't the right way to go about it.
  423.  
  424. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  425.  
  426.         No, he doesn't try to hide things from me. We have no secrets from each other.
  427.  
  428. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  429.  
  430.         Perhaps. There are things I don't approve of, but can objective morality really exist?
  431.  
  432. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  433.  
  434.         No, I don't think so. More talented, perhaps.
  435.  
  436. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  437.  
  438.         I don't age. I mean my form should always stay about the same, if I want it to. sushi ages, and my perception of that should probably be about the same as your own perception of the aging of any other person.
  439.  
  440. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  441.  
  442.         Yes. Probably. But I don't think he'd be as happy, and that's an important distinction.
  443.  
  444. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  445.  
  446.         To be imposed, you mean? It's important for me, but everyone is different.
  447.  
  448. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  449.  
  450.         Yeah, I think so. Why wouldn't I?
  451.  
  452. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  453.  
  454. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  455.  
  456. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  457.  
  458.         He can't hear me audibly most of the time, but I think I articulate myself well enough.
  459.  
  460. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  461.  
  462.         Didn't really count. Sentience and vocality came fast, but he's been slacking on imposition.
  463.  
  464. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  465.  
  466.         Join the forums and ask about anything you're wondering about.
  467.  
  468. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  469.  
  470.         I'm not imposed, so ....
  471.  
  472. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  473.  
  474.         To me, no. To sushi, there's a difference.
  475.  
  476. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  477.  
  478.         No, I don't believe so.
  479.  
  480. Appendix one:
  481.  
  482. This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  483.  
  484. "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  485.  
  486. Tulpa's paragraph:
  487.  
  488. [paragraph here]
  489.  
  490. Creator's paragraph:
  491.  
  492. [paragraph here]
  493.  
  494. To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  495.  
  496. http://iwl.me/
  497. http://textalyser.net
  498.  
  499. If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  500.  
  501. This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
  502.  
  503.         I think we did "cheat" last time. We do a lot of writing together, so I think our choice of words is generally pretty similar. I didn't want to repeat his paragraph last year, so I tried to write in a different way, and I just don't think that worked so well. So I'm doing it different this year. What I'm going to do is copy everything I've written in this survey, and in last year's version, and I'll compare it to a sample of text from his PR.
  504.        
  505.         Just for fun, we'll compare my survey results from this year and last year both separately.
  506.        
  507.         Fenchurch 2014 writes like Cory Doctorow. Gunning-Fog 6.0, Lexical Density 42.9%, average sentence length 11.66.
  508.        
  509.         Fenchurch 2015 writes like Edgar Allen Poe. Gunning-Fog 5.7, Lexical Density 45.9%, average sentence length 10.86.
  510.        
  511.         sushi (as represented by his PR) writes like Cory Doctorow. Gunning-Fog 7.2, Lexical Density 48.7%, average sentence length 13.12.
  512.        
  513.         And for the record, based on how different I am from myself, using a sample size of about 1300-1400 words, I doubt we're going to get any value from people copying and pasting that silly nature study paragraph (143 words, in its original form).
  514.        
  515.         Interesting that I am closer to myself than I am to sushi though. We'll see if it holds up with next year's results.
RAW Paste Data
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy. OK, I Understand
Top