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Paul's assholery

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Nov 12th, 2021
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  1. Taking up most of the countertop space. When I talked to him about it he ignored me, and I had to email Gabby for it to marginally improve, but it persisted.
  2. A hook on the shower curtain fell off, and he didn’t simply hook it back in, creating work for me.
  4. Leaving water all over the counter and damaging the countertop. I had to email Gabby, bring it up in the roommate meeting, but still continued so I had to continue cleaning up after him.
  5. Leaving the dishes stacked in the sink, making it difficult for me to cook or clean myself. After the first roommate meeting with Misty, he promised to clean his dishes every night, but he didn’t, doing dishes about once a week.
  6. Leaving mysterious, white, sticky substances on the sink. I had to email Gabby for it to marginally improve, but it persisted.
  8. Sitting in the living room on his laptop or phone, doing something while yelling and laughing extremely loudly such that I could hear him despite the fan on and the door closed, disrupting my sleep.
  10. When there was urine around, on the toilet, and under the toilet seat that I was cleaning, I tried to talk to him about it and I never accused him of doing it or asked him if he did it, I just wanted to make him aware. He just denied it and refused to even look.
  12. About half the time, he's not in for night checks, not coming back until 10pm-1am, causing me to worry if he’s an intruder coming in. I've told him it stresses me out, disturbs my sleep, and sometimes wakes me up, ruining my sleep schedule; I tried talking to him about it, but no behavior changed. He doesn’t care.
  14. When my mom and I came back to pick up my stuff, I found the apartment was an utter mess. I felt obligated upon my checkout to detail the horrible state of the apartment because I was worried it might come back and bite me. It turned out he was still using my microwave, which bothered me a bit, but he left it in horrible condition, including globules of animal fat on the microwave tray, leaving it for me to clean. Furthermore, there were multiple sticky spots on the ground making moving stuff a bit more difficult. It hadn’t been touched by a broom nor a Swiffer, both of which I had left there. If he had no qualms about using my stuff, why didn’t he at least use my cleaning supplies to maintain the apartment in a decent shape?
  15. The heater issues. When he set the heater to 85 degrees, he ignored my warning that he would give me a bloody nose, showing no concern then; when I had a bloody nose and wanted to show it to him to prove I wasn't exaggerating and knocked rapidly on his door to get his attention, he called me a "little bitch" and showed no concern then, only upon Misty’s direct intervention did he change his behavior.
  16. Before Misty intervened on my behalf, my I brought a tower heater from home to offer to him for him to use as a compromise to try to solve a problem. He outright refused, saying "fuck no, I'll never use it." I later found out during the roommate meeting that was because apparently, by trying to solve a problem and offering a heater for him to use, which costs money, I was making him the villain, showing how he was more concerned with being insulted.
  18. He would constantly leave his dirty hair shavings in the sink. He even said on the first day, “don't mind me.” I responded I do mind, but he ignored me. Only after I emailed Gabby and the roommate meeting was there marginal improvement, although the problem still persisted, even to when I came back to pick up my stuff.
  19. When he asked me if I was okay with him having marijuana in the apartment or not, I said I wasn't okay with it. I was careful to try to balance my response, making it clear that I don't agree with it and don't want it, but at the same time I'm not the police, that's not my job to check all the time, and I'm not going to snitch like that for nothing. He kept on pushing and pushing, not taking no for an answer. I had to make a pretty substantive policy argument to thoroughly defend my personal opinion before he accepted my answer. I later emailed Crystal about it, he got wind that someone spoke and snitched on him, he started retaliating against other people, and Misty had to tell him at the roommate meeting that it was retaliatory harassment. He told me he never intended to use it anyways, but how was I supposed to know. The fact that he asked suggests he does use marijuana; I don’t use therefore I don’t ask.
  20. When he asked me if I told [Organization name] that he smoked marijuana, I told him I didn't. He asked me if mentioned it and I said I did. He then threatened me saying I, "better be careful" He wants to leave [Organization name] ASAP, and was worried about getting into more trouble with [Organization name]. He was so selfish, so concerned with his own status, that he neglected to consider the effect it had on me, it never crossed his mind that he broke a boundary with me. He didn’t care that I didn’t want marijuana nor about following the rules. He wasn’t allowed to bring it per the rental agreement, contract with [Organization name], and basic respect for me.
  21. He broke some glass in his room. He knocked on my door asking if I had a broom he could borrow. I said yes and I offered it to him. I told him this isn't the first time you've borrowed something from me or used something from me, so please be careful/mindful of yourself and your actions. (A cup on day one; trash bags for the trash can until I emailed Gabby about it and he bought some; toilet paper, has yet to buy any as far as I know; and now the broom). He was angry at me for that comment and started arguing. He denied that he has borrowed stuff from me and I provided the toilet paper example. He apologized, but said you don't have to be so rude about it, if you are going to help just help, I was just asking you a question. This pissed me off, because his attitude implies he feels entitled to my help. Beggars can’t be choosers, and he was being a choosing beggar. I'm thinking "I'm not obligated to help you, I'm doing it because I'm nice, but at the same time, this is an avoidable issue. I'd just shut up if I were you."
  22. Two minutes later, he returned the broom. He could tell I was upset, so he asked me why, and I told him, "You were arguing with me and being a bit demanding considering I'm doing you a favor. If I were you, I would have graciously accepted and just shut up." He then got pissed and said "Don't get the wrong idea, I don't owe you anything, I'm not dependent on you. You stay in my lane and I stay in your lane. I'd just clean it up myself." He couldn't have cleaned it up by himself since he didn't have a broom so he is dependent on me, and when I was gone for the month, he was using my microwave. He has the attitude of I stay in my lane, you stay in your lane, but I can’t do that because he’s constantly throwing trash into my lane. That’s why he’s so arrogant, because in his mind, he hasn’t been throwing trash into my lane, but when I try to talk to him about it directly, he ignores me. He’s caused me to have a horrible sleep schedule, missed many of my modules, and failing both of my classes right now.
  24. Furthermore, based on Gabby and my observations, Paul lacks attention to detail, so I doubt he thoroughly cleaned up the glass; and now I'm worried either one of us or both of us will step on the glass so now I have to wear shoes inside the apartment which means it gets even dirtier. That’s more stress and worry and work he placed on me.
  25. He offered annoying, unsolicited, obvious advice to fix my life first. When I mentioned how I partially blame him for my school struggles since he ruined my sleep schedule, he got pissed. While he would have had no way of knowing my sleep schedule would have been that ruined, it was reasonably foreseeable that he was negatively impacting me. But he didn't care. How this happened was he noticed I was upset, I told it was with him, and mentioned the sleep schedule issues, then came the unsolicited advice saying fix your own life, as in this is all your own fault, don’t worry about me, because I’m not doing anything to screw you over, except he totally was. Then he started gaslighting me, accusing me of making up bullshit. He started denying my feelings and my reality.
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