Parchment from Krailos Room 08/01/16

Woe of the Planegazers

Here we sit and think.
In the dark of today, the mist of our past. We conceil our goals, yes. Our motives never to be revealed.
Our real names long forgotten, we hide more often than we show ourselves.

Of course this does not apply to the initiates.
Oh how I wish I could live that life again - or better, not to make that choice from the beginning.
We all had a choice, yes. The scriptorum does not ask certain questions lightly.
Yet, you want to know - strife... to know.
We all did. All of us who wanted to know the truth - and don't they all.

You're not at all ready for this as an initiate, true. You could go all the way, ask them for a hint - beg them even.
They know what happens to you if you're not prepared. The Scriptorum knows. I do, too.

Now I am part of it. Trying to get to the bottom of it, unravelling secret after secret. Solving puzzles piece by piece.
And then you see that you never wanted to. You can't apprehend or comprehend, you struggle. You want to scrape certain thoughts out of your head.
There is no way. Not like that. It is not that simple.
Then you cling on the idea to protect others from this truth, this twisted epiphany. It becomes your motto, your mantra.
You suppress the thoughts, put all your energy in the veil, the Planegazers. Covering everything. Your every step and your very existence.

Yet our ranks grow, more and more become aware that there is something else, something behind certain things.
I know that feeling. Like someone is watching, controlling you. An urge to find what's behind this or that, you see signs, omens - you just want to know.
There is no way but to let certain individuals join - to channel their curiosity and to stay in control. To ultimately protect them as well.

'Veil the truth' they say 'canvas your knowledge'. And do you know why, do you... want to know why?
They are afraid! We all are! Anxiety is driving us, trying to take control and plunge us into madness.

So we conceiled ourselves. We 'became' wisdom the very same moment we became shadows. And for what! To hide it from others. From the world, everything.

Undoubtedly you, who reads this is seeking knowledge as well. Wisdom. Enlightenment from old words and dusty tomes in dark corners.
I see myself, reading this right now. If I could go back in time I would use this chance to tell my younger eager self just one simple truth:

Uncovering something is only one side of the coin, dealing with this knowledge can be a whole other dimension.