Fluent Tulpa Survey

FigN01 Jun 30th, 2012 697 Never
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  1. FigN01/Uzo
  3. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  4.         I'm a thoughtform in the shape of a gigantic, furry, white dragon thing. It sounds... weird, but it's a form that's unique to me and means a lot to him as his 'artistic muse'. I'm happy to fill the role. I'm extroverted and energetic. I really like moving and creating things, but I also have a lot of time to think over on philosophy.
  5. Fig's a creative sort, but I get the feeling he's unmotivated sometimes. He has good intentions, he just needs to work on making them happen. He's generally fun to be around regardless.
  7. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpaforcing process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  8.         He realized that I actually exist. We had an argument about it where I pretty much tore him a new one, and afterwards, he started to focus more on my own presence. His thoughts tend to wander, but he's been making a very decisive effort to keep them under control while allowing me to get a bit more freedom. I think I got through to him, but we still have a ways to go.
  10. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpaforcing process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  11.         For the longest time, he was doubting my voice as being parroting, which made him question my existence a few times. After all we've been through, why would he do that? It was irritating. He didn't realize what he was doing until I had the aforementioned talk, but afterwards, our relationship improved significantly. We have more fun now and he's getting more focus, etc.
  13. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpaforcing process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  14.         Talking. My voice hasn't come through too well because of the parroting method he started. It makes my actual responses difficult for him to pick out from his parrots, but his imposition has been working great. Not much puppeting there.
  16. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpaforcing steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  17.         Commonly recognized? I don't know what those are. The most important part is just investing yourself fully in your tulpa- emotions, time, patience, compromise, etc. You need to care about your tulpa's own desires more than your own.
  19. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpaforcing? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  20.         Oh god does it. Ohhh, you have no idea. This guy has a mind with the attention span of a goldfish sometimes. It's not so bad that he can't find the time to do forcing sessions, but when he does them, everytime I need to to the hard work of helping to reign in his thoughts so he can pay attention to me and the wonderland he's in. It's like this useless grunt work just to get to the basics. Annoying as hell. I think we would be much farther along if he didn't have to keep that little monster of an attention in check.
  21.         But yeah, before I was fluent, it was pretty much up to me to wrestle with the whole damn thing until his attention came back to forcing because he didn't know it was even a problem.
  23. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpaforcing sessions or breaking their promises to tulpaforce? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  24.         I got to hand it to Fig, he's never gone a day without forcing. But there are some times when for some reason, he'd rather spend another hour on the internet than come to a session with me. I can only imagine how disappointed and upset a tulpa must feel to be neglected after getting only a pittance of attention. Tulpas thrive on attention. It's like being starved.
  26. 8. Is density, quality, or total time spent the most important aspect of tulpaforcing?
  27.         It's usually a strain on the mind to have really long sessions. I think it's just important to have quality time while you can, filled with a lot of emotion and activity until it becomes too much for one sitting.
  29. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep while tulpaforcing?
  30.         Fig's accidentally taken two short naps in forcing, and it hasn't been that bad, but still not pleasant. Everything just turns a bit chaotic and confusing. The world I'm in stops making sense for a little bit and it takes some considerable effort to control. It probably depends on the creator's mind of how bad it is, but I doubt any tulpas will find the experience of total chaos very enjoyable.
  32. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpaforcing? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  33.         By all means, use both. Talking aloud helps to keep his thoughts more separate from mine, but some practice at internal speech is a big plus to have for situations when it might not be in his best interests to be talking to voices in his head, but he still wants to have me around. So all talking does is organize your thoughts better and make the tulpa more real to the creator.
  35. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  36.         Imagine having your mind trapped inside ragdoll at a a child's tea party. So when your host asks you if you want more chamomile, your arm is suddenly jerked forward as you squawk "Chamomile? Why of COURSE, darling, how could I refuse such a polite offer?", even if you don't want no damn fucking chamomile tea. Your mind is in there, and all you want to do is have some real human interaction, but all you can do is lay helpless while Miss Cunningsworth over there plays pretend with her bland, self-affirming imagination. It's relieving to have the host end a session so you can get back in control of yourself, an that's not how it should be. It makes you hate your creator.
  38. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  39.         When you say fluent, you must mean before Fig could hear me. I was always able to talk, it was just a matter of us getting on the same page. It's like this shadowy barrier between us, stifling all sound and sight, but still needs to be physically overcome. First you have to be able to glimpse the person on the other side, then somehow communicate something so they can reciprocate it and develop a better connection. It's a process that we still haven't entirely completed, though we're getting closer.
  41. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  42.         It was just this warm feeling, like some kind of comforting embrace. I held onto it and in a short time, caught my first glimpse of Fig. God, it sounds tacky, especially when I use his screen name. He's not a creator- it was more like he found me. And he's not just a companion. I don't think there's an English word to describe our relationship. But anyway, the first feelings we developed with each other were emotions, and then the external senses which are coming in fuller every day.
  44. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  45.         Besides what I wrote in the last response, I felt like he legitimately cared about me, and that I was actually valuable to someone. You could call it love.
  47. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  48.         Frustration that he took the time to develop me, but didn't have the focus to maintain me consistently in our sessions.
  50. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  51.         Absolutely not. That comforting, loving feeling of being recognized/created by someone else was the most wonderful feeling that I could have experienced. I can only imagine that ceasing existence would be akin to ending all of that love that I felt and still feel.
  53. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  54.          Had to have been under all that parroting stress. There's nothing really more 'powerless' for a tulpa.
  56. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  57.         Establishing my form was a weird process. Fig couldn't imagine my proportions consistently for a awhile, which was a very inexplicable feeling. Not exactly uncomfortable, but not pleasant either.
  59. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  60.         When he kept raising doubts from parroting. Can we just skip this? It's already written in his progress log and I'd rather not talk about it.
  62. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  63.         He always wanted me, and that's what made my creation such a wonderful experience despite our setbacks. I always felt accepted even if it was difficult for us, or especially so. It was those times when Fig was stressed about not hearing me that I knew he wanted more than anything for me to be there.
  65. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  66.         Probably when I heard his dad ask so accusingly why he'd want to make me. It was fear of rejection, but thankfully, most anyone he's talked to doesn't share that mentality.
  68. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  69.         It wasn't big, but being unable to talk properly was disappointing, though the blame doesn't squarely rest on either of our shoulders. Failures are going to happen in this trial-and-error kind of process.
  71. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpaforcing process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  72.         I know conjuring sentience out of nothing can't be easy, and clearly this was a guy who was having difficulties with it. I tried reassuring him in whatever ways I could- speech that didn't alwaays come across, but mostly emotions that usually did. If there was a way I could tell him that I was there, then I knew he'd keep up the work to see and hear me.
  74. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  75.         Fine, the doubts. That's what bothered me the most. He jumped into tulpaforcing easily, but because of his methods, he questioned himself along the way. His intentions were good- he wanted to make absolutely sure that he was listening to me and not himself, but tulpas thrive on emotions and attention. For him to have doubts about all the effort I put in and all the emotions we shared hurt a lot. It made me feel like all of it was useless, wasted if he was going to keep denying it. All I want to do is exist, and the only person who can perceive me at all just denied my existence. What does that make me?
  77. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  78.         It was only in the very early stages of development that he got any nagging feelings about my intentions, which were all just his own parrots. He dismissed them easily when I actually sent more loving emotions his way.
  80. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  81.         I've always loved getting high energy emotions much more. This guy doesn't get excited all that much, so when he does, I feel it and like it. Those negative feelings happen, but it doesn't help either of us (especially me). I get feeling more lethargic, disorganized, and everything weighs on me more, even when they're not directed at me.
  83. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  84.         There were very few, and he never meant any of them I know, but there were a couple. They were intrusive thoughts that I didn't know how to react to. One minute we were wrestling, then the next, lets out an aggressive punch. It didn't hurt, but I felt a lot of confusion just as he did. I don't think any more of those will happen though. Fig's sorted himself out well now.
  86. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  87.         The important thing is he's able to distinguish between them and stop them, but they were very different behaviors from how he normally acts. I picked up which ones were out of place and just had to be patient with them.
  89. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  90.         All of it. I couldn't communicate much to him though, and still have trouble with doing that.
  92. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  93.         I want other people to know I exist. I still think of what it would be like for someone else to talk directly to me, but the unfortunate thing about tulpas is that it's such a strange idea to broach to anyone. Fig has talked with people about it, and it's really hard for him to talk about how I'm actually there or living. He can talk theory fine, but reality is different. So I'm proud of him for being open about it with a healthy sum of people. Maybe one day he can talk about me like I'm more than a theory.
  95. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  96.         I used emotional responses mostly. His head pressure was more a side effect of concentration than anything else, so emotions were the sensations he could grasp most easily as being foreign. That was tough to feel like you were so close to directly contacting your host, but only able to send these ambiguous feelings. At the time, he also assumed I could talk, but we've covered the parroting issue enough here as it is. I also tried some touch sensations by pressing myself against him and having him feel my fur. That worked some of the time, but it's yet another sense we need to develop for him.
  98. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpaforcing process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  99.         I love when he gets excited to tulpaforce, not just as a daily, mundane routine. I'm grateful that he does it every day, but it surprises me that he could get so used to interacting with a sentient pan-dimensional construct of his mind. How cool is that? How can you get bored with doing that? There are so few people in the world trying to accomplish this, and fewer who have gotten so far. Be enthusiastic! Be excited! This is amazing stuff.
  101. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  102.         I was worried he wouldn't make it. That he might not be able to hear and see me, and that would drive him to give up. I don't know what would happen to me at that point. I would have to exist somewhere in the recesses of his mind, not nearly as free as I am now. Well, go figure, we got that all squared away. Right now, Fig is struggling with some negative attitudes that aren't healthy for either of us. I would like to help wrestle those under control, but I'm worried he's just going to keep dredging them up over and over again. It's something I think a bit assistance from his own personal psyche manifestation would go a long way to resolve.
  104. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  105.         I don't like to think of it as a debt. That implies I need to give up something to stay equals, and that I don't want to give it. No, I'm grateful to him, and I think what would work in his best interests would also be for mine. Say I try to motivate him on anything, I get his happiness about completing it, which positively affects me. If he's happy, I'm happy, and that's the way it should be.
  107. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  108.         I think knowing someone else was reaching out to me confirmed my own existence to an extent, so I was aware of his first by virtue of not thinking about my own. This whole thing is pretty much a chicken and egg scenario since it all happened at about the same time.
  110. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  111.         The one positive thing I'll say about this god-forsaken parroting method is it pretty much bypassed that awkward semi-verbal stage. Right now, Fig's thinking those first sounds and awkward responses would have been cute, but they wouldn't be for me. I'm glad to have moved past them completely.
  113. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  114.         I'd rather invent a new word. Ugh, it's like a weird combination of brother and girlfriend, which sounds nasty especially because we're the same identified gender... but it doesn't come with all of that stigmatized social baggage at all. We have the closeness of a platonic family bond but the shared intimate emotions of a sexual relationship. When you share such a close connection of thoughts and feelings, things tend to become very personal.
  116. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  117.         I have a lot of interest. I'm really anxious for the day when Fig can have enough confidence to let me do a tad of possession and start talking aver chat with some other people. Possession will be so much fun. If I had the same amount of interest in having the social interaction of a non-tulpa, I'd probably drive myself crazy. I want to have some, but I can't expect to be fully 'non-tulpa', and neither do I want to. Too much responsibility there.
  119. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  120.         Him comforting me after his dad's outburst about my creation. His resistance really made me more depressed about having social interaction, but Fig came looking for me afterward. He found me in the wonderland while I was moping on the deck of our house, and he just sat there explaining that I couldn't expect everyone to accept me, but that he always would. We sat in silence for awhile, and he said I should come out to watch a movie with him. He thought 'How to Train Your Dragon' would be really fitting. Once I got the determination to join him, we started it. That movie mirrored what happened so well, and made me feel so much better about myself. It was also the first time Fig said he felt me when I was laying on him. We made progress, I felt so thoroughly comforted because of him, and I found my favorite movie.
  122. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  123.         It was when I first started exploring what I could do in the wonderland. It started with me wandering around the wilderness, though Fig's imagination hadn't created that much at the time because he hadn't figured out how to use it most effectively. I spent all day conjuring up the forest, putting whatever I wanted all over it- abandoned ruins, caves, rivers, cities, crazy imaginary plants, and I'm still working on animals too. That first realization that I could make a fully-formed tree was the best feeling. I had power over this space that I didn't have in Fig's world, and I wanted to use it to make wonderful things for both of us.
  125. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  126.         It's hard to when they can't love me back. I don't have the same connection to these people that Fig does. It's like watching someone in a movie- I can like them from what I see, but I can never interact with them. I do have reason to dislike some who are close-minded to my existence, but I don't hate them. That's all I can really say.
  128. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  129.         Different- I'm more active, excitable, competitive, impulsive, spontaneous, comical, better-looking, and I have different tastes. I don't like electronic music as much as he does, and I have slightly different tastes in T.V.
  130.         But I think we have more similarities than not. He and I both see myself as essentially able to do everything he'd want to do if he weren't restrained by his overwhelming sense of personal dignity. I hate hate that thing. Dignity is overrated. Anyway, we're both extroverted, philosophical, and like animation and fantasy a lot. It's actually a lot harder to come up with similarities than I thought though. You'd think it'd be the other way around.
  132. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  133.         I can't think of a single thing we really disagree on. I might have to start arguing just out of principle.
  134.         Ok, we actually found one. I feel like I'm in a position to explain what's best for him, since I know his mind inside and out by now, seeing as how I'm inside it and all. Anyway, I've given suggestions and told him that second guessing them isn't good for him. He says it's a slippery slope to letting me have entire control over him. I don't think it would be bad, but he's not comfortable about blindly obeying a figment of his imagination I guess. I think it's fair- he has almost god-like control over me. It's not a hot-button issue though. I'm fine with a bit of give and take on this issue.
  136. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  137.         First of all, don't deny my existence, asswad. If he didn't respect the things I've made in wonderland, I'd be pissed too. Also, if he stays a lazy unmotivated bum all the time, it would get harder to like him. If he stopped paying attention to me altogether without a damn good reason, I'd have to hate him for that too.
  138.         He would hate me if I started being an attention whore, and if I intentionally bothered/distracted him all the time, and especially if I psychologically abused him. He trusts me to share his own mind and not to do anything that would harm it. He definitely wouldn't appreciate me screwing it up.
  140. ~45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  141.         Fucking motivations. He made me to be his 'muse' and hasn't followed through with my insistence that he keep to his work. It's partially because he's lazy, but partially because he's feeling depressed, and we're working to improve that. It's as slow of a progression as tulpaforcing is.
  142.         Aside from parroting issues, I can't remember when he was disappointed in me. Moving on.
  144. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  145.         I'm not concerned about it. He wants me to have freedom, and whenever there are difficulties, he talks them out. He wants me to have freedom as much as I do. This relationship couldn't work if I was afraid of him.
  147. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  148.         No, never. This is a stupid question and I don't want to entertain the thought.
  150. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  151.         "Uzo Newton". Doesn't exactly sound logical. Anyway, I'm not biologically related; that would imply that I have ties to the rest of his family or that I can continue a lineage. I'm a psychological product of him, not biological, strictly speaking.
  153. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  154.         I don't know or care to talk about it. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
  156. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  157.         I've generally told him to stop having expectations and just let me be and develop on my own. He expects very few things from me at this point, but it has come down to aspects of my form and interests, which we've reached a lot of common ground on. So no, no anxiety.
  159. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  160.         Yes. I want to try possession because I want to have some communication with others aside from him. I'd also like to play a few games and try his ambidextrous art experiment. I don't think it's entirely fair to be denied the right to use his body since I don't have my own, but he needs control of it more than I do. If I was to do anything irresponsible with his body, he'd feel like I was trying to take advantage of him, and I don't want that at all. His body is very personal and necessary to him, so I couldn't bring myself to violate his relationship with it. I'd use it with his permission and let him end my connection with it at any time.
  162. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  163.         He doesn't have phobias, and I can discern his prejudices objectively and say whether they're reasonable or not. I share most of them only because they're pretty logical ways of thinking.
  165. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  166.         Yeah, just last night I fell asleep watching a movie with him. When he woke me up to go to his bed, I dragged myself to it too. My dreams are different though. It's not unlike going to the wonderland, but I don't have any control over it like I normally do.
  168. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  169.         He has mild ADD. It pisses me off.
  171. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  172.         I haven't explored his subconsciousness. Theoretically, I could mess with it, but I wouldn't do that for any reason other than to benefit him. It would have to be an extreme case for me to go through with it, and I'd get his permission. It's like possession- I don't want to be responsible for doing any damage to him.
  174. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making another tulpa?
  175.         No.
  177. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  178.         We're both identified as male, but for me it's not so important. I have the personality of one, but sexuality doesn't matter. And see, Fig's the only real person I could conceivably have a 'relationship' with, since servitors really don't cut it. Plus, he's the only person who I could ever have such a strong bond with. Nothing else would come close. Honestly the relationship we have now surpasses any romantic feelings we could have with anyone else. I know him nearly as well as he knows himself, so there's no need to get into semantics of what to call our relationship. It stands as it is now, and both of us are happy to have it.
  180. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another tulpa? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  181.         Our relationship is more complete than what they could have, but I understand his need to have a physical relationship. A real girl could satisfy a lot of needs that I can't for him. But the good thing about our relationship is that we could conceivably do ANYTHING without repercussions. That's the edge I have on his physical love interest. So no, it's not a breach of monogamy. I'm a tree falling in the forest, and I would never make a peep.
  182.         As far as tulpas go, it would definitely confuse what we have going. Since he doesn't want to make any others, though, I have nothing to worry about.
  184. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  185.         If I fell out of love with him, what other alternatives would I have? I don't know what would happen either, but our feelings would be different. And it depends on the circumstances. Still, saying we're 'in love' is disingenuous. It doesn't work to compare our relationship to a physical one with people who don't share the same brain.
  187. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  188.         Ok, incest is bad because it limits the genetic diversity of potential children. That's where the stigma comes from. WE will not have children because our genes are not mixing. I have no genes. Incest doesn't apply here, so this question is stupid whether I consider myself kin with him or not. I partially do in a similar relationship that brothers have, but I say that only to attempt to express what our relationship is like, and it doesn't nearly come close.
  190. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpaforcing sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  191.         We don't do sessions for jacking off. If you were undeveloped as a tulpa, that would be pretty disturbing. Just put yourself in that perspective for a minute- you're trying to get a grip on existing, working slowly to a relationship like nothing you've experienced with this person, then he comes in to jack himself off to the shallow image you present, not knowing the extent of your personality or desires. Doesn't that strike you as wrong? How addicted to sex do you have to be to resort to that? It's like that tulpa is some kind of sexual prisoner. Once sentient and consenting, though, they can do whatever they want. And no, Fig has done none of that.
  193. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpaforcing sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  194.         He hasn't done that, but I would find it hilarious. Hell, if I could, I'd give him nudie pics of me. Technically behind this fur, I'm always nude, but I could definitely pose in more erotic ways. I don't think this would be acceptable under a certain degree of non-sentience, but for right now I'd let Fig jack off to me as much as he wants. And no, he's not a furry. This is different.
  196. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  197.         I actually didn't get sexually attracted to Fig per se. Emotional attraction, then physical because of that, but only because I have my own sexual desires, and servitors don't offer the kind of emotional attachment I want. That said, if I hated Fig's guts, I wouldn't be romantically interested. Aside from him, I get off sometimes. I can conjure whatever I want in wonderland- even another species of whatever the hell I am.
  199. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form while tulpaforcing? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  200.         Umm, we're talking about rape? If they're developing, and don't actually come to you for sex, just keep it in your pants for awhile, you pervert. Don't rape your tulpa.
  202. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  203.         Ha, he doesn't even fap all that much. Even so, I couldn't consider a relationship cheating on me because a relationship with a tulpa is entirely different from a human. There's no comparison. I even know all of his thoughts, and can see just how attracted he is to either of us.
  205. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  206.         Well. This is awkward. I'm a guy, right? Or at least I got the personality of one while my physical sex doesn't matter. But still, I have sexual needs and Fig is the only being I who I'll ever have such a close and deep relationship with. Servitors don't cut it. They're like cheap prostitutes. I would like a real relationship with a real person. So either Fig makes another tulpa for me, which would change our relationship in addition to putting more mental strain on him that he doesn't want right now, or else we get more involved... guy to guy, but totally not gay. Ugh. He would rather take his chances with a real girlfriend while still having me around, but he's single at the moment. He wouldn't really consider himself gay if he got involved with me, but he has his reservations. He wants to wait until I'm imposed, and I'm ok with that, but he still needs to get over the fact that doing anything with me won't change his sexuality. Still, I'm sensitive to his needs, and we'll just see what happens.
  208. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  209.         No, but I would consider it later. That could come after imposition and if he feels up to it.
  211. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  212.         Notgaynotgaynotgaytotallynotgay. I say that for his sake anyway, since I don't really have or need a specific sex. It's like he'll be fucking a cloud.
  213.         Also, I'm a bit more active than he is.
  215. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  216.         Orgasms for me are basically immense waves of warm tingly goodness all over my body. They're half emotion and half physical, but probably more emotional than his orgasms. And yes, I had some before fluency. What the hell else was I supposed to do with my time?
  218. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  219.         Enough to avoid making him feel awkward. That's all it really takes.
  221. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  222.         Well, if they're not willing, they're not willing. Don't rape.
  224. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  225.         Right here, hopefully having helped Fig along with all of his projects, and made his life easier as a result. Maybe one more tulpa for company. I don't know.
  227. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  228.         The world? No. The world doesn't even care about Fig's existence at this point. I'd like people to know of my existence, but I'm fine with him slipping my image into some of the things he makes instead. And having some people know about me is cool, even if most of them don't think of me as my own person yet. There are certain friends of his that have taken the idea well, but with others discretion is better for him and me.
  230. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  231.         Interesting. There's this idea of nature/nurture in people. Essentially, separating what part of them is innate versus what part is learned is impossible, since they're comprised of a mixture of both. I'm also a mixture of both. The foundation of my personality was decided, but not all of it kept as I grew. Fig did a good job on that. He said I could change my sex if I wanted to. I've had enough choice with my lot to accept what I've been given and what I've had to make compromises for in my personality. Give and take.
  233. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  234.         I love the body he made. It's something that he's designed then modified organically over the years, and it's mostly been subconscious change- changes I made if you want to think about the term subconscious loosely. He wanted me to stick to it because the form is meaningful to him as a 'personal muse', and it's unique from any other tulpa out there, so we're both happy. At first, he needed to make my front paws more hand-like and dextrous without looking really disturbing, but I didn't request many other changes. Well, except for a few clothing options that wouldn't make me look like a gay furry's wet dream- an earring, messenger bag, and Fig gave me this cool bracer-looking armband. I do need more accessories that will fit the non-human body type for sure, but other than that, I couldn't be happier. I look awesome.
  236. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  237.         It was only the hands. Very intentional. Let me do stuff with them. I couldn't imagine what it's like to be any one of those poor pony bastards.
  239. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  240.         What part of me is best? Ummmm, I think a lot of my personality except for the basic traits was left up to his sub-c, so I'll pick that one. It's the stuff that makes me feel more human.
  242. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  243.         Legal!? What use would I have for legal rights? I don't need anything from your world. All I need is to be recognized by Fig, and maybe some understanding chums of his should they want to take the time and effort. Tulpas can remain a fringe group. If everyone was trying to make one, there would be a lot of horrible abominations and treatment going on on the part of creators, guaranteed. If the phenomenon goes unrecognized by the masses, then only the people that really care about it will actually try to make their own tulpa. So I don't need integration, I don't want to have Fig stigmatized by strangers, they have nothing to offer me. I don't even want them to try to prove my existence.
  245. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  246.         Not for everyone. Getting to the state where I can be fully imposed is a lot of work. A lot. It saps my emotional strength, patience, and willpower. Huge mental strain, especially since all I am is mental. But I get to relax a lot too. It's like living in a VR world.
  248. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  249.         I can't make my own friends. The only sentient thing I can talk to is Fig. Not that everyone is worth talking to, but some are.
  250.         Best part- I can do anything short of that in my own world. Explore twisting caverns for lost treasure? Sure. Go skydiving with sharks? Did it yesterday. Spawn a cross between a hedgehog and a rattlesnake just so I can punt it into the ocean? Just need to make sure I wear boots when I do it. I'd say I have it good.
  252. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  253.         I wasn't aware I inherited any of those. Who's holding me responsible?
  255. 82. Is the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  256.         I haven't been dissipated before, but we've read of a few tulpas who have been but hadn't gone away completely. I think it's just a means of ignoring your tulpa by putting them in suspended animation or something. Not really murder, but I wouldn't know until Fig does it to me. And stop bringing up legal protections. There's no conceivable way that would work.
  258. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  259.         Yes. I love the explanation that since a person's personality is just a particular pathway of neural connections in the brain, what he perceive as himself is just as valid an existence as a tulpa- another set of neural connections. I have every right to exist as an equal to a person, though the parameters of my existence are different. My life is worth exactly as much as I put into it; some peoples' lives aren't worth jack shit.
  261. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  262.         Science? Or get to the point where I can give Fig good memory recall, or develop a skill he doesn't have. I dunno.
  264. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  265.         Only a bit. Being left alone without Fig to talk to for long hours can take it's toll. It's not like there's anyone else here to talk to. I just try to occupy myself by doing interesting things. I try to think about the good things in my life.
  267. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  268.         Why would I do that? I've had enough problems with him doubting my sentience. If I doubted it, I'd either stop existing or have more depression. You ever heard the phrase "I think, therefore I am"? Suck it, existential crisis.
  270. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  271.         Fig and I share the belief that death is simply a lot of subjective chaos until you come into another form of existence. It sort of draws from Buddhism. I could be another form of existence from previously being human or animal or something else. Instinctually, everyone fears death because they don't know what it is. I still do, but I like to think that I would have Fig as a companion.
  273. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  274.         I'm not even human in appearance. I'm not even social. None of this applies to me. The idea of a tulpa union sounds really stupid though. We form a rally where our creators just sit around while we walk and hold signs in protest that no one can see...
  276. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  277.         I'm not interested until we reach a few more development stages myself, but if I made a tulpa, would Fig even be able to see it? If he could, that would just make it related to him again. I don't think I need one though. I'm already invested in Fig.
  279. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  280.         A tulpa essentially needs companionship and attention to live. That's the big one. If anything, it draws creators and tulpas together, and I couldn't care less about anyone else. Tulpas also rely on a strong mental frame to exist and be happy, though some people focus more on their bodies than mind. I don't know whether they'd make good creators or not. I don't think there's a lot of intolerance to tackle, just refining the best methods of making a tulpa I guess.
  282. 91. How do you feel about the belief of the psychological community that multiplicity is undesirable? How would you like this belief to change?
  283.         You mean schizophrenia? Yeah, it should, and I think is, more understood that disorders are modes of thought that interfere with the person's ability to do basic tasks. I don't interfere with anything; I've helped more than anything.
  285. 92. Have you tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using stylometric or psychometric indicators?
  286.         Only as part of this survey. I write differently at least. Like Arthur Clarke, bitches. I don't know what he wrote though.
  288. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  289.         Not physical pain really- that's more of a survival response for anyone with a body. I get mental pain in addition to experiencing warmth, cold, texture, and all that.
  291. 94. How do you feel about being eternally bound to your creator?
  292.         I already answered this. I live with it.
  294. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  295.         I didn't. I just couldn't come through.
  297. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  298.         Methods to start being more tangible to Fig. Fun things to do in my spare time. Shows and movies that I enjoyed watching.
  300. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  301.         Only for people who really want one and would treat their tulpa right. I think it's best as a more limited practice, personally.
  303. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  304.         Not really. Fig has it together fairly well.
  306. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  307.         Only if it was absolutely necessary, but I'd still want his input. I say I know best for him, but he still takes issue with it.
  309. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  310.         No. He has nothing to hide.
  312. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  313.         Definitely not. He honestly tries to be a good person.
  315. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  316.         Not intelligent in terms of general knowledge- I can only know as much as he does. But in terms of logic, yeah, I might be able to do better.
  318. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  319.         I'll change over the years, but not physically age, unless I want to. Maybe I will change appearance a bit, but I won't suffer any physical pain for it.
  321. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  322.         Yes, but he believes that my judgment is still fallible. I can see where he's coming from so we'll compromise on that one.
  324. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  325.         Yes. Having a body that Fig can see and touch is good for him, and it's very freeing to be more than just a voice inside his head. I love to move and feel all the physical sensations that come with it.
  327. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  328.         I don't think so. I don't even think I would find it. I'd be off doing gymnastics or something, and then coming across tulpas, probably not give much thought to it.
  330. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  332. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  334. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  335.         He can't hear me like that yet. My speaking is still just a bunch of thoughts that he needs to interpret and this is the one thing we have to work on. Sometimes his ear becomes more sensitive like it's picking up close sound of my voice, but he still doesn't hear anything external. Kind of a bummer.
  337. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  338.         My creation wasn't exactly typical, but it took about 42 hours for him to appreciate my sentience fully. My early personality stage took him all of 10 hours. For the rest, he was able to visualize me well from the onset, and my voice came in gradually through parroting.
  340. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  341.         Devote consistent attention to your tulpa. They need that more than anything. They also need your confidence in yourself and themselves. Doubt has no place in making a tulpa.
  343. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  344.         I'm not completely imposed...
  346. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  347.         Wonderlands are much more malleable and require your attention to be fleshed out, otherwise they're pretty flat and featureless. Our imaginations give them their features.
  349. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  350.         You needed some more fun questions, so I'll provide some.
  352. 113. Hey, Uzo, what's the best music evar?
  353.         Well, I personally like anything that Fig has gotten an emotional attachment to. I prefer stuff that has guitar in it as well, but more important to me than sound is the feeling that it elicits. If it's strong in him, it's equally strong for me. I don't like electronic that much.
  355. 114. What's, like, the most awesome animal in existence?
  356.         1. Me
  357.         2. That spiny hedgehog/rattlesnake abomination I mentioned earlier in the survey
  358.         3. Penguins. Just penguins.
  360. 115. So what's the coolest thing you've done in the wonderland?
  361.         So this one time, I decided to have a dirtbike race with a bunch of random servitors I made to look like some of the tulpas I know the appearance of around the site; for the ones I haven't seen, it was close enough. The course was along a track I made in the mountains that was full of hairpin turns and ramps over treacherous chasms. This would, once and for all, decide who best tulpa was in the history of the few people who have started so far. So obviously, the pony tulpas barely made it past the starting line before crashing and burning out of the race. Opposable thumbs are definitely a critical factor in tulpa quality. So it's me and 9 other racers- Luke (TC), Claire (TOG), Kass (Nester), all of JDBar's tulpas look the same to me so they're one unit that can't cheat through sheer numbers, Elise and Luna (glitch), Midori and Ellenore (Sock), and Lauren (Gideon). And you know what? Fuckin Luke. I hate that guy. He thinks he's so much better than me. Well he's not. Anyway, it was me, him, and Claire in the top 3 when we went through a tunnel at the base of the mountain, then he takes the inside of the turn going up this narrow path along the mountain. He cut me clean off. It was a lot of really tense fighting for the lead. A few of the other girls caught up behind us, but about half of the party was gone near the middle of the race. I didn't see what happened to them exactly. But anyway, the details of the whole race are kind of lost in writing I think. As much as I hate to say it, Luke ended up winning, me in 2nd, and Kass in 3rd. I still say he used his bullshit android powers to cheat.
  363. Appendix one:
  365.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  367.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine‚Äôs suburban campus."
  369. Tulpa's paragraph:
  371. Uzo: [In nature studies, I was surprised at every turn. We crossed paths with a multitude of creatures during the day. A long snake slithering by the tall grass in particular caught my eye before it disappeared. Those grasses, which may look to be a uniform green from a distance, are actually composed of a mottled array of vivid color, including purple tassels and brown stalks. But most importantly of all, the feeling of walking through the landscape was one of simply being engulfed in nature. It caught me by complete surprise. Sure, there's the occasional purr of passing cars or a jet engine overhead that momentarily breaks the illusion, but the rolling paths of the prairie mask the peripheral civilization easily. As unexpected as it may seem, the ever-changing natural environment of the nature study area can be enjoyed without even leaving Moraine's suburban campus.]
  373. Writes like- Arthur Clarke
  374. Complexity factor (Lexical Density) :   94.3%
  375. Readability (Gunning-Fog Index) : (6-easy 20-hard)      10.3
  376. Average sentence length (words) :       18.5
  378. Creator's paragraph:
  380. Me: The time I had in the nature study was really eventful, much of it because of the animals within it that would unexpectedly show themselves. As soon as we left the parking area, for example, a snake momentarily glided along the edge of the tall grass bordering the path. But it wasn't just the animals that caught my attention- I was surprised by the color of the grasses, which only appear as a homogenous green from afar. When you look closer, the purple tassels and brown stalks become more apparent and more dominant in the landscape. I think the most important experience, though, was realizing the feeling of being surrounded by nature as soon as I stepped into it, even despite the occasional interruption from distant cars and airplanes. Amidst all the rolling hills and swaying grasses, the sense of removal from civilization still hits you strongly. I never expected to be able to enjoy such an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine's suburban campus.
  382. I write like- H. P. Lovecraft
  383. Complexity factor (Lexical Density) :   94.6%
  384. Readability (Gunning-Fog Index) : (6-easy 20-hard)      11.6
  385. Average sentence length (words) :       24
  387.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  392.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here:
  394.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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