############ if then, if then, else
    *JOIN*) who=$(echo "$res" | perl -pe "s/:(.*)\!.*@.*/\1/")
      if [ "$who" = "TripleZer0" ]
      then echo "PRIVMSG $channel Get this man some whiskey and some darts!!! " >> $input
      elif [ "$who" = "Megatron" ]
      then echo "PRIVMSG $channel BACK BISHES!!!" >> $input
      else echo "PRIVMSG $channel sTaY eViL $who" >> $input
      fi
     ;;
############# u can only use if once then after that if must be elif. also u can keep making elifs after the first one. one more thing... u dont have to have an else