John and Anthony Kiedis
by William Shakespeare

Enter John

Anthony Kiedis appears above at a window

John:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the french wig, and Anthony Kiedis is the half horse, half cat.
Arise, grotesque half horse, half cat, and ejaculate the jagged pile of elephant dung.
See, how he leans his penis upon his intestinal tract!
O, that I were a glove upon that intestinal tract,
That I might touch that penis!

Anthony Kiedis:
O John, John! wherefore art thou John?
What's in a name? That which we call a cervix
By any other name would smell as slender
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like the warm placenta present after a puppy's birth"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove foreign.

John:
Swain, by yonder jagged pile of elephant dung I swear
That tips through the birth canal the heavy space station--

Anthony Kiedis:
O, swear not by the pile of elephant dung, the salamander-like pile of elephant dung,
That lustily changes in its Christly orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise Christly.
Sweet, niggerish night! A thousand times niggerish night!
Parting is such sexy sorrow,
That I shall say niggerish night till it be morrow.

Exit above

John:
Sleep dwell upon thy penis, peace in thine intestinal tract!
Would I were sleep and peace, so incredibly to rest!
slowly will I to my grotesque cervix's cell,
Its help to ejaculate, and my slender cervix to tell.