Gilgamesh in Minecraft

Gilgamesh in Minecraft
	In the glorious city of Sandbox, the impressive capital of the impressive Kingdom of Mojang, the selfish and formidable king Steve. His adventures surpassed the lives of a hundred combined for he was the child of the gods. Son of Notch, he was an emboldened, cunning blockman and nearly a deity himself. Slayer of spiders, pigmen, zombies, and even the fearsome skeleton horsemen and spider-riders.
	Steve was the angelic architect of Sandbox. His awe inspiring builds and unimaginable wealth concocted the city. No structures were made from a single material. Even the clean sewers of the city smelled of roses. Sandbox sat deep in the forest hills of Mojang but enjoyed the spoils of the world over. Miles were of little importance to the burgeoning commerce . Expensive wood fetched from the distant and exotic jungle. White rabbits from the remote risky snowy tundra. Temples did not touch the sky, they were within the sky. Red salmon, cocoa beans, carrots, potatoes, mushrooms, and bright sunflowers. He accomplished all described and much more.
No one around was more epic than Steve. However, he was not without flaw and many he had. He was a tyrant. Prone to mistreat his undeserving and weaker subjects. The people of the realm were heavily burdened by King Steve. Absurd taxes. Meaningless laws. Punishment for crime did not resemble justice and came out harshly and was seemingly random. No one was above his law, his rage.
	One afternoon, the King went for a snack in downtown. He walked into a bakery seeking fresh croissants.
	“Greetings, my liege. How may I be of assistance?”
	Gilgamesh, not forgetting to be polite, shouted, “Retrieve me a dozen croissants.”
	Terror in his eyes, the baker replied, “I can’t afford to hand over that many.”
	“For the King, you can hand over that many.”
	“I can’t.”
	Steve snapped his quick fingers. Instantly, the King’s guards closed in on the disobedient baker. The baker was raised off the ground by his throat. He resembled a ghost; pale and levitating.
	The gods listened to the complaints of the people because they heard nothing else. They decided to intervene on behalf of the subjects, who nagging prevented them from rest, and the issue prevented them from taking care of other matters of similar importance.
	Notch, father of Steve, offered a solution to the assembly. The warrior Jeff was created as a subpar equal to Steve. Jeff’s purpose was to reign in the worst of Steve’s unscrupulous behavior by distracting Steve with companionship. He was released into nature.
	Jeff lived along with the critters of the realm. He walked atop the slippery ice. The massive polar bears he ran beside, past the intimidating ice spikes. Swam next to the squid but could not ink. He sang with the parrots and slept in the den of wolves.
	A miner pushing a cart of ores noticed this strange man. Tales of the man began to spread and reached Sandbox. News of the warrior reached a covent at the end of town. The good witch Sabrina sensed an important purpose in Jeff and decided to intervene.
	One day, the good witch made an attempt to speak to him and teach Jeff the ways of the cultured blockman. Luring him with the scent of freshly baked cookies, Jeff approached her and she handed him the cookies with a glass of milk. Sabrina spent a week with Jeff, demonstrating skills to him. They baked bread in her oven. Soon, he knew how to enchant and forge and craft his weapons and tools. A bow, an axe, a pick axe, a shovel, a hoe, and a bucket. He was now unfit for the wild.
Upon becoming bored of spending time with Sabrina, Jeff tried to go back into the wild though something was off. The critters would avoid him. Confused, he sought the advice of Sabrina. She advised him to head to the magnificent capital Sandbox.
	Steve was tirelessly mining for precious metals deep beneath the city, close to bedrock. Some gravel fell and knocked him out. While he slept, he dreamt of a powerful pickaxe who served him excellently. He confronted Notch about the significance of this omen and its meaning was revealed to him. A friend was on their way.
They met at the gates of the city. Both drew his own diamond sword. Enchanted with knockback and fire spells, these were fearsome blades. They pulled out their health and speed potions. They drank them quickly and then descended upon each other. After exchanging a few blows, Steve pinned Jeff on the stone blocks. Steve spared Jeff out of admiration for his strength.
	“I admire your endurance and fitness.”
	“Likewise.”
	Steve said, “You make for a worthy companion.”
	“My name jeff.”
	And the men sheathed their sharp swords and clasped hands together. They became familiar and soon after close friends.
	Quickly, they found adventure together. Hearing rumors of a dark-green pearl that offered instantaneous teleportation, purple-eyed dark demons, and a mysterious dragon - the two set out. Steve and Jeff journeyed to the grandest and tallest temple of Sandbox. Seeking the guidance of the gods, Steve placed an offering of a stack of diamond blocks on the altar. A book materialized before them. Steve bent down and flipped the book open. Inside were instructions on how to reach this realm of teleportation and a guide for how to combat the monsters within.
	Gathering the supplies needed to construct a portal to this hellish realm, they began to work. After three days of grueling labor, they had finished. The two sprinted through the portal. They came out on the other side, finally arriving in what was referred to only as the “End.” Floating islands of a spongy stone unfamiliar surrounded them. In the distance, they saw the teleporting beings who when slain dropped these pearls called “endermen”.
	They walked for a great distance. Having studied the book, the duo knew what to do. Approaching the endermen, being careful not to make eye contact as not to provoke, they readied their swords. They slaughtered one of the foul creatures and it let out a blood curdling shriek that challenged their constitution. The shriek alerted the other endermen who began to swarm Steve and Jeff. They fended off the horde until they retreated to the opening of a cave. Jeff used dirt blocks to seal the entrance. Successfully, they had escaped.
	Having discovered the endermen dropped the pearls when killed, they had managed to gather many and then decided to pursue the dragon. Placing a crafting table, they began to craft ender crystals to kill the dragon. Steve exited the cave from another entrance and began to setup a trap while Jeff continued to craft. They had crafted over a hundred ender crystals that would explode simultaneously when triggered.
	Having rigged the trap, they waited for the dragon to appear. The dragon, gargantuan and by far the worst thing ever 	encountered, emerged. Miraculously, they were oblivious to the scaly creature’s fast approach. At a distance of about sixty blocks, the dragon spit from its mouth a ball of flames. It whizzed past Steve. It had barely missed him. The ball did not miss Jeff. It struck with such great force. Jeff was propelled off the floating islands and drowned in the void beneath. The dragon shifted and circled back around. The tail tried to swipe at Steve but accidentally activated the ender crystals. It was vaporized without a trace apart from its shrunken head.
	Back home in Mojang, Steve was welcomed but the welcoming was not enough to lessen the burden of loss. He mourned Jeff. The people marveled at the feats of Steve and Jeff. Steve hung the head of the dragon above his throne and ordered scribes to produce copies of the book of instructions on the navigation of end. He contributed additional advice himself. The loss of his closest and sole friend caused great grief. He began to fret about the inevitability of his death.
To escape death, Steve went out in in pursuit of a legendary golden apple that allegedly offered a rapid return to well-being. Age and spilt blood irrelevant. Using his compass, he navigated a course across the seas and arrived at the site of an underwater temple. Holding his breath, he sunk to the bottom and entered the prismarine-constructed temple. A sole golem who was built of iron made an effort to halt him but he slayed it effortlessly. He retrieved the golden apple. His struggle now was not a physical battle but rather a psychological one; resisting the uncontrollable and persistent urge to sink his teeth into the apple.
	He swam up to the surface of the water. Finding himself tired and without food, he ventured into nearby woods. He killed and cooked a fatty pig inside a furnace he had constructed. After he finished his meal, he fell asleep.
An enderman swiped the golden apple from asleep Steve. The next morning he had woken up to this unpleasant surprise. Viewing himself a failure, the King cried for some time. He ran out of tears and a contentedness came over him. He returned back to the city and ruled with more compassion than previously until the end of his days.