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- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ... -looks away- Seriously, was I not trying hard enough?
- The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
- /stares at wall. I blame myself more
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /stares at wall. I blame myself more
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ...How?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- I'm a coward. I'm afraid to talk, and then a bunch of assumptions pop into my mind
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- And what assumptions would those be?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /holds breath
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -stares- Yah, you have the chance to talk so do it.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /glares. I've already sorted you out from Top, I'll let that be clear now. Nonetheless I still managed to realize just how empty the phrase I love you has become
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- And why is that?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- What do you mean?
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Why do you think that's empty?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- I realized how easy it is to say to others, and just how often and to how many people it can be said to
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- What do you mean? If you think /I'm/ saying that to someone else you're wrong.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /glares. Don't lie
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Why the hell would I be saying that to someone else?!
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /purses lips again. You know who
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- I really don't. I don't even talk to any other girls besides noonar on her.
- ** here
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /shakes head and waves hand. Nevermind
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -sighs- ... I don't know what makes you think that, but I've never said 'I love you' like that to someone before.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /stares at floor
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ...Is this because you think I didn't remember our anniversary?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /looks up for a second
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -leans against wall and crosses arms, raising eyebrow-
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /eyes water and voice slightly breaks. It's not just that. /rubs eyes
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -looks away- Go ahead and ask me to sign these papers, but I'm not going to.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /stares at. Your internet was rude and cut me off before I was able to get my main concern out
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Mian. What's your main concern?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Alright then
- I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling a burden to you, tired of crying a lot, and damn tired of staying up late for not even a word to be spoken. Technically that's optional, but I still do it, like right now for example. I understand you're trying, that sometimes you're lazy, but you know I'm not exactly the patient type, which I should be more of /shrugs
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- You're not a burden. And yes, I am lazy and I'm a bit slow in getting myself back together but do you really think a divorce is the best option for us?
- It'll only mean I'll get out of here permanently. Besides you and noonar and Hani, I've got no reason to stay.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- If it means you can be happier as an LNC then, I won't hold you back
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -shakes head- ...
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Nani?
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Would you really want me to da, then?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- to what?
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Deactivate?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /frowns. That's on you. It'll really hurt me for a while but I can force my heart to try and move on
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- I still feel like you're holding something back on me.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /thinks
- Honestly, this is my brain telling me to divorce you. That it's the best option to keep myself from getting hurt anymore. But quite frankly according to my heart, it's the last thing because I'm afraid to lose you. It doesn't mind getting hurt, although it still wants you to be happy too. I just naturally think of myself as incapable of accepting and giving back love.
- I mean, to this day I still find it hard to believe I can be loved. I suppose I'm used to getting hurt
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- You've always followed your heart. Are you really that tired, Reina?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- I-I don't know. Stressed maybe
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ...Perhaps it's because you don't speak out? I know I'm an idiot, but I'm not the type of idiot to judge you for what you feel.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /shrugs. Possibly.
- /wipes eyes. I'm not even sure what to think anymore
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Just thinking is what gets you in trouble. -sits in front of you- Speaking up is what can change that.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /looks away. It can't be helped. I'm given a lot of free time, and I always end up thinking about things
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- No, it can be helped. You can still say something any time.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Can I say something quickly then?
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Yes.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- I'm a little touched because you're the first person to actually try to fight for me. The others just accept it and move on
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- You know I don't just give up.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- That's true...
- /cries. I'm sorry. For ruining your mood, for making you have to worry over a stupid me
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -hugs your head to his chest- You're not stupid. You're just afraid. But I know you have it in you to change that.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /sinks head into chest and cries more, hugging tightly. N-Ne
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -runs fingers through hair- You need a break, hon. An actual one. Take Yuki, Sae and all that them and just go out and do something you've never done before. If you think of it as being the same thing as not speaking up, then maybe it'll get rid of that fear. You understand what I'm getting at?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- I think I do
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Then do it. I can take care of Hani, even as TOP. Trust me with that? Please?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /nods. I do trust you
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -kisses forehead- Give another day before you decide to go off, okay? -pulls you onto his lap-
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Mhm
- I'm still of still going to Konkon's a few days though otl
- still kind of*
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- That's fine. Then take more days off.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /makes a face. I still have a lot of early morning filming to do though
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -waves hand in air- That's early morning. You've still got a lot of time for other things.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- not with rehearsals ~_~
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ...When I said break, I meant like an actual break. No work; nothing.
- Just you.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- otl
- You know I don't do well without work
- I still went to work even when I was on bedrest
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Ne, I remember that. -shakes head-
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /sticks out tongue. Although I'm off on Saturday so
- I'll head down to Fukuoka and just hang out with old friends I guess
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Take the entire weekend off. Up until Tuesday if you can. Please try?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Hum. I'll try but I'll eventually go crazy if I don't see you and Hani for a few days
- I trust you with a lot of things, but feeding my baby--
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ...I can't breastfeed her, but I can give her formula and whatnot.
- Or you can just fill up some bottles ಠ_ಠ
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- I might as well do that ಠ.ಠ
- Oh, that actually reminds me
- She crawled for the first time today
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ...Seriously?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Mhm. Right to mama. When she woke up from her nap I told her about how she was really stressed out helping a friend
- and then she just darted off otl
- /scratches head
- Afterwards she went into the laundry room, and climbed into your laundry basket
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ...She's going to be everywhere, now...
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- otl we put gates around though
- /pulls out phone. Look, when she climbed out, she had a pair of your boxers on her head
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -looks, and laughs a little- That's my girl..
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /smiles weakly. She even tipped over the detergent box and got it all over herself...
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- We might need to make this place a fortress. I can't even imagine what's going to happen once she starts to walk..
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Haha
- /rests head on shoulder. Hopefully she won't be walking for another few months
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -nods, wrapping arm around you- Even if she is, I'm prepared... Almost.
- クォンれいな ☆ said (3:23 AM)
- hehe
- You've heard the news about mama ne?
- /beams
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -nods, wrapping arm around you- Even if she is, I'm prepared... Almost. TT
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Hehe
- Hmm
- I'm excited for today
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -wigglebrow- Oh?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- You've heard from mama ne? That today might be that day
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -nods- Ne~
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /smiles. I hope it is
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -squeezes hand- Here's hoping.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /laughs lightly and blushes. otl I feel ridiculous for bringing up divorce in the first place...
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -small laugh, tapping your forehead- Don't worry about it anymore. It's over with. -kisses gently-
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /smiles behind lips and kisses back. Ne~
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -pats your butt, snickering-
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /eyes widen, lightly hitting your arm. Yah~
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -sticks out tongue- Sorry. You have a nice butt.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /pokes tongue. I could say the same for you
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- I know I have a nice butt, though.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Hmh /nuzzles into neck. Pretty sure we already established you have a lot of nice things
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -smirks- Same for you.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Good, because I've been getting self conscious lately with Yuki calling me fat m(_ _)m
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- You're not fat, though..
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- sob I know I'm not
- I'm like mama, I happen to shed pregnancy weight quickly
- /makes a face. That was another thing I was worried about partially. Not looking appealing to you
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- ಠ___________________ಠ ...
- You give me a boner everyday.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- owo;;
- /hides laughter
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- You have sex appeal, okay?
- A lot of it. OTL
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Hahaha
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- I swear to God if you ever think you don't have sex appeal.. orz
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- I have up until this point owo
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- GOOD.
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /sticks out tongue and straddles on lap, tugging on your collar. Glad I still have it then~
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -kisses deeply, wrapping arms around your waist-
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- /pulls closer, wrapping arms around neck
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- -smiles against lips- I love you, got it?
- クォンれいな ☆ says
- Got it
- leaderkwon-anon@hotmail.com says
- Good. -sticks out tongue-
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