Sep 11th, 2016
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  1. "I want to come inside Rainbow Dash!"
  2. >The Dragonequus, floating lazily to face you, his elongated body drifting and swaying on an invisible wind, barely glances up from his loudly chirping electronic toy.
  3. "I said --"
  4. >"Hmm. Yeah, yeah. I heard you. Hold on a tick. I just got the nail gun."
  5. >The electronic laments of sprites having nails thrust into them intensify.
  6. >The draconequus looks up as you tap your foot impatiently.
  7. >"To business! For services rendered to the theory of chaos by finding novel applications of Sharkponski's --"
  8. "Sharkovski." You correct.
  9. >"Whatever. -- Sharkovski's theorem to mischief making. I, Discord, bestow upon you this one request."
  10. "I want to --"
  11. >"I knowww." he interjects testily.
  12. >"I know just what you bronies are like. You always say that."
  13. >You can't help but suspect he isn't taking this seriously, with the gravitas it deserves.
  14. >You're on the verge of attaining the desire of horse fuckers everywhere, fulfilling your dreams and earning the envy of the whole community.
  15. >Can't this smarmy git show some decorum?
  16. >Besides, you're not a brony. You're a horsefucker and proud.
  17. >You damned near launch into a solilquoy outlining the finer points of distinction between the two but think better of it.
  18. "Come on then."
  19. >He grins and snaps his fingers.
  20. >Nothing happens.
  21. >You stare at him. Nothing continues to happen
  22. "Well?"
  23. >The fuck? That's not your voice.
  24. >It's higher in pitch than you expected. Not feminine but a far cry from your manly baritone.
  25. >Discord smiles.
  26. >It's now that you become aware of the polychromatic hair encroaching upon your field of view.
  27. >Oh god. He didn't, did he?
  28. >You look down and see your arms - or if not arms, forelimbs - and hooves coated in a sky blue.
  29. >He did. The absolute tosser.
  30. "Bastard! Change me back!"
  31. >Each word is a shock.
  32. >He chuckles.
  33. >"You did say 'I want to become inside Rainbow Dash' or words to that effect, did you not? Now you are!"
  34. >You mostly certainly did not say this.
  35. >"Sorry, my friend. All wishes are non-refundable, non-transferable and non-flammable. Satisfaction not guaranteed."
  36. >He's reading the fine-print on some arcane legal parchment.
  37. >A swarm of false teeth drift by behind him.
  38. >Suddenly he's right up in your face, checking you over.
  39. >His snakelike body curling round you, faster than you can keep track of.
  40. >Every part of your blue form is being scrutinised.
  41. >You flinch and try to pull away to avoid his penetrating gaze but it's no use.
  42. >He's fast and his moves counteract yours at every turn.
  43. >He has you by the tail - Oh God, this is humiliating.
  44. >He's lifting it...
  45. "Stop!"
  46. >He doesn't.
  47. >"Got what you wanted, eh Anon? Full, unfettered, 24/7 access to delicious candy vag."
  48. >He continues before you can open your mouth to articulate just how wrong that statement is - he can't just twist your words but your thoughts and dreams too.
  49. >"Do make the most of it won't you?"
  50. >You shake your head frantically.
  51. >"Urgh. You humans are so dull. You always say and do the exact same things. Maybe one day I'll let one of you have what you so badly desire. Not today though."
  52. >You want to puke.
  53. >Your legs tremble.
  54. >Your hooves feel like lead, thwarting your plans to rush at the beast and strike him before they had begun.
  55. >Discord looks wounded, as if he could read your intention from your scowl.
  56. >He procedes, businesslike.
  57. >"I think that concludes our transaction, Anon."
  58. >He turns to go.
  59. >Frantically you pry your jaw open to croak your final entreaties.
  60. "You're not going to leave me like this."
  61. >"Oh my. You're right, Anon. There is one more thing; it nearly slipped my mind."
  62. >He revolves to face you, a sinister grin spread across his face, and snaps his fingers.
  63. >Your mouth opens.
  64. >"Discord! What the hey are you doing? Where am I?"
  65. >The sound came from your mouth but you weren't the one speaking. The voice continues:
  66. >"I told you. Stop sending me weird places when I nap!"
  67. >At least you can agree with the accusing glare which Rainbow Dash's reawakened self is shooting your tormentor.
  68. >"Nothing to worry your little lesbian head over."
  69. >Before the startled pony can formulate a reply, the two of you are picked up and tossed unceremoniously through a portal to Ponyville, followed shortly by the Draconequus.
  70. >Rainbow Dash picks herself - and by extension you - up, swearing all the while at the now fleeing figure of Discord.
  71. >So this is your fate. Trapped forever in the body of an idiot, albeit outrageously hot, pegasus.
  72. >Unable to talk. Unable to move of your own volition.
  73. >Shit.
  74. >She gives no sign of being able to hear you by thought.
  75. >Discord had mentioned others.
  76. >Are they in here too? Can they hear you?
  77. >No answer comes.
  78. >No hope.
  80. [spoiler]
  81. >And that's how Rainbow Dash got thetans.
  82. >The Scientoponists were right.
  83. [/spoiler]
  85. [spoiler]Next time on Discord Turns /mlp/ Threads Into Transformation Stories: Claim you're waifu.[/spoiler]
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