Stuff

Speedrunning:
I have no energy or motivation for this shit anymore, I only do it because there's nothing else to do. If i had another hobby i could follow without losing interest in 2 months i'd do that but right now im just learning a ton of games and throwing runs out to see what sticks. I still have goals but i will never guarantee any of them happening because of these feelings, i'll put them here anyways tho cause why not.
Goals:
- Crash 1: 100% for 1:09 could happen but a 40 in Any% might just be too much, im capable of it but the resets and grind nature of that category tear me apart.
- Crash 2: nogo id like a 44 and 100 a sub 1:20 would be nice but since NTSC is unplayable i can only see a 44 in the future
- Crash 3: No IG sub 47 or more and 105% sub 2:20 - 2:15 or lower. Both of these *could* happen i just gotta sit down and learn both, my movement is good but im trash.
- TWOC: For any% i just want a satisfying time. If that's a 56 so be it but im pretty sure i can 53 if i got a good run. 106% is for fun so nothing in particular for that.
- CTR: this game is really fun and i do TTs a lot offline and have gotten okay at it i think. I could 57 in any% or sth if i learned how to do some late game tracks with a heavy but for now a 59 would be cool.
Misc:
70 star - 59 (NEVER LOL)
PMW All Levels - sub 1 (maybe someday)
Jak 2 - sub 1:20 - 1:10 (1:20 maybe one day but 1:10 is unlikely)

Life:
Its cool that I have college figured out but I still have to go through one last year of high school which won't be fun. It's currently summer break but its super taxing on me mentally to do literally nothing all day, that's the only reason i still speedrun because there's nothing else to do. It's hard to enjoy anything though especially on twitter with all the political garbage that's going on that makes me just wanna curl up and die. (i cant fucking wait until 2020) otherwise not having anyone irl is pretty mentally taxing on me even though i love all my friends dearly, i just wish i had someone i could meetup and hangout with.
tl;dr generic depression and loneliness

Gender:
Feminine non-binary, will prob start trying to present fem after school or maybe when i go back, depends on how self conscious ill feel. They/them only please and also please don't call me r**ag i fucking hate it.