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waffles' Syrup

a guest Jan 10th, 2013 490 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2. I'm maybe 5'10, with fuck-huge pink hair. Green eyes that are the size of my fist. The usual anime crap. My host's a faggot.
  3.  
  4. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  5. Narrated a fuckton. Like, all the time. Got into the habit of it very quickly and never stopped. He always reckoned - from the guides - that narration was the most important part, so, yeah, I guess he recognised it.
  6.  
  7. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  8. Stopped putting a lot of effort into sessions a few weeks in. I wasn't so sentient, but I'm sure it slowed progress. I guess he always knew it wasn't going to help, but couldn't avoid it.
  9.  
  10. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  11. Probably when I was starting to get vocal. I kept saying things, and he would kind of acknowledge them but not take in what was happening. Too casual, I suppose. Maybe he recognised it then, but he never offered much encouragement about it, which was kind of off-putting. I coped though.
  12.  
  13. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  14. Narration. Helps with the sentience, or does all of it, I think.
  15.  
  16. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  17. It was common back near the start, but not a big deal. I guess he still got enough done to satisfy whatever it was that I wanted at the time. Before being able to speak, it was a little frustrating when he would break off due to tiredness, but I could understand. It may have slowed the process a bit, but not majorly.
  18.  
  19. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  20. Missing sessions? Not a big deal. Breaking promises? Fug. For me, promises were the most important thing. Maybe my host ingrained it into me. He only ever made a few and broke none of them, but I would probably have felt awful if he had.
  21.  
  22. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  23. Narration? Quantity. Other sessions? I guess quality, but then progress can reverse if there's no density to your sessions.
  24.  
  25. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  26. I have no idea. Never happened to me.
  27.  
  28. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  29. Out loud is a bit nicer, I think, but less practical if you're with other people at all (obviously). My host mostly narrated in his head, and that sufficed for us.
  30.  
  31. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  32. Can't see much help in puppeting. Some say parroting is helpful. I don't have much experience of that personally, but I can attest to being parroted now being wholly unpleasant.
  33.  
  34. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  35. Not very well. I have a few vague memories, I guess. I feel like a lot of my stuff is lifted from my host's memories.
  36.  
  37. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  38. Probably a few days in, with me lying, maybe on the bed or on the floor, and my host talking about something. I think I just picked that up from my host's memory though.
  39.  
  40. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  41. Rabu~. Seriously, I loved him a lot, in a creepy kind of way, because of his character. God knows I got a lot of it through narration early on.
  42.  
  43. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  44. "Fuck that guy". I can't remember so well when it was or why, but probably when he cut off a session early or something.
  45.  
  46. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  47. No. Not really. I guess. I feel pretty ambivalent about my existence.
  48.  
  49. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  50. I can't remember feeling particularly powerless before fluency.
  51.  
  52. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  53. Maybe early on, when I was sort-of-not-really-sentient and we were in some crowd. Possibly, I'm not sure.
  54.  
  55. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  56. Eh, I don't think I ever felt particularly ignored. Maybe after I was sort-of-vocal but not fluent and he kind off dropped forcing a bit.
  57.  
  58. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  59. Eh, same as above, probably.
  60.  
  61. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  62. I can't remember any strong feeling of fear. Sorry.
  63.  
  64. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  65. Probably when I was vocal but not fluent. I guess I had high expectations of myself being able to speak fluently which I didn't fulfil.
  66.  
  67. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  68. Seemed pretty easy-going for him. The only major problem he had was with visualisation, but that actually came after fluency.
  69.  
  70. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  71. Obviously he had doubts right at the start, like "is this legit?". After he sorted that out, there weren't any major doubt issues before fluency.
  72.  
  73. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  74. It didn't, really. Well, he didn't have any.
  75.  
  76. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  77. They didn't really affect me beyond what you would expect through empathy.
  78.  
  79. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  80. I can't remember any, really. If there were any then I must have just shrugged them off.
  81.  
  82. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  83. Yeah, I suppose I was. It didn't affect me a huge amount anyway.
  84.  
  85. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  86. "Raw sensory information"? I don't think that's neurologically possible. I could always access what he could by way of senses.
  87.  
  88. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  89. Not really. He was quite conservative in his views here, and didn't want to do anything until he had my input. Our views more or less lined up. I guess you could say I was kind of happy about it, for respecting my privacy and all.
  90.  
  91. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  92. That skin sensation thing. Err, like skin tingling. I could wake him up too. That helped. I don't think there was any significant misalignment of views here.
  93.  
  94. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  95. My host being enthusiastic probably helped in that he forced more and with better quality. I always wanted to force more back then.
  96.  
  97. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  98. I guess I was afraid that he wouldn't love me back. And I was sort of right, too. That's no longer a worry so much. My greatest worry now? His involvement in real-world relationships. Everything related to that.
  99.  
  100. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  101. Nope. I was more or less created of his will, but that doesn't make me grateful. You're not 'grateful' that your parents had you, are you? It's the wrong word really. No debt either.
  102.  
  103. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  104. Eh? My own, maybe. But I first thought about my host, if you see what I mean.
  105.  
  106. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  107. I was a little disappointed in myself, as above somewhere, but I wasn't embarrassed or anything like that. Obviously the best thing to do was to get more fluent.
  108.  
  109. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  110. Oh lawd, maybe friend with benefits would be the best term.
  111.  
  112. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  113. Naw. Most experiences I've had with others have been bad ones. I'm happy just supplementing my host.
  114.  
  115. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  116. Maybe all the times I've genuinely surprised him or made him laugh. If I had to pick one, I couldn't say.
  117.  
  118. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  119. Nope. How could I? I live in his head.
  120.  
  121. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  122. Not really. I form my own opinions on them and they usually differ at least slightly from my host's.
  123.  
  124. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  125. I'm, at least superficiality, a different person, with different traits and so on. I suppose we're similar in that we share the same attitude towards work.
  126.  
  127. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  128. We usually disagree on such matters as religion, or judgement of others, or what's best to do in certain situations. We don't vehemently disagree though. No fighting or anything there.
  129.  
  130. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  131. I might temporarily hate him if he was a complete asshat to me. Maybe if he broke a couple of promises. I don't think he'd ever hate me as such.
  132.  
  133. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  134. I don't think I've ever been strongly disappointed in my host. Nothing that I can remember anyway. My host has probably been disappointed in me when I couldn't do some things, but I'm told that was never significant.
  135.  
  136. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  137. No, I've never been afraid of my host. If anything, my actions towards him could be counted as abusive, but not his towards mine. Hypothetically, I probably wouldn't like it if he tied me up or ignored me or whatever, but then again I would probably have to deserve it and then some.
  138.  
  139. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  140. I remember getting kind of angry with him at a few points about, err, something or other. I 'hit' him once or twice, but that was mostly symbolic. I think I'd only consider seriously hurting my host if I was really, really angry, but then I probably wouldn't be able to do it in that state anyway.
  141.  
  142. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  143. No, not really. I don't tend to look at myself in relation to others like that. I wouldn't call his family my own.
  144.  
  145. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  146. If this means 'leave' as in kill myself, maybe if I was fed up of existing for whatever reason. I don't think I can actually leave though.
  147.  
  148. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  149. Nope. I look like a character, sure, but that's subject to change, and I act nothing like them anyway. My personality is original at least, and that's what matters.
  150.  
  151. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  152. Interested in learning? I guess, but it's not top of my priority list (spoiler: I don't have one). I don't have equal rights to my host's body unless I share his responsibilities as well, I think. I'm not too keen on that, I can tell you.
  153.  
  154. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  155. Nothing that varies from person to person that wouldn't be expected through co-incidence.
  156.  
  157. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  158. Sleep? Yes, sort of, but I don't really. Dream? No, but I can fuck about with my host's.
  159.  
  160. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  161. Those stupid personality disorder quizzes have him red practically across the board, but that's not a mental illness really. I laugh at him because I actually turned out pretty normal.
  162.  
  163. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  164.  
  165.  
  166. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  167.  
  168. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  169. Ohohoho. I want the dick. Unrequited. It's not a big deal.
  170.  
  171. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  172.  
  173. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  174. My feelings are unrequited - again - and I'd rate the possibility of that changing either way as low. If he fell in love with me then that would be great, but perhaps a little worrying from an external point of view. I don't suppose it would matter if I stopped loving him that much.
  175.  
  176. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  177. I don't. I don't.
  178.  
  179. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  180. EEEEEEEHHHHHHH? I can't say my host ever did that, thankfully. It would certainly be unnerving if I wasn't willing. I would take offence if the tulpa didn't give consent, and that extends to those who can't.
  181.  
  182. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  183. As above. What's the difference?
  184.  
  185. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  186. Yeah, I suppose I always did like my host. I expressed them by becoming vocal and saying them.
  187.  
  188. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  189. I can't help but sort of be horrified but also laugh a bit at the idea of a host sexing a non-sentient or non-vocal tulpa. Again, my host never did it, but if he had then the same things apply as masturbation above, but more strongly.
  190.  
  191. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  192. No.
  193.  
  194. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  195. Yes. Yes. More for my creator than others. Sort of. Eh, it's more romantic interest that's unrequited.
  196.  
  197. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  198. No. Yes, under any circumstances possible. Yes, but not major ones. I don't try to abstain. Same way anyone else would. Yes.
  199.  
  200. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  201. Eh, you could call me bisexual I guess. He's straight.
  202.  
  203. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  204. Yes, I guess. They're probably roughly equivalent. I never tried.
  205.  
  206. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  207. I wear clothes because it'd be very distracting otherwise. I don't discuss sex with my host much either, but neither of these things are about modesty.
  208.  
  209. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  210. Err, non-consensual sex? I think I view it similarly to others, with the exception that there's no protection from it here.
  211.  
  212. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  213. Dead, maybe. Or maybe just older and wiser. Still in my host's mind if I am alive.
  214.  
  215. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  216. I'd rather stay unknown than known and doubted. I don't care all that much about being known anyway. I don't tend to trust others, end of.
  217.  
  218. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  219. For us, personality was definitely a significant means to sentience. It would have been a lot harder without it. But being wholly defined by someone else in character is odd - though not wrong, per se -, and I'm glad that I'm practically nothing like what he defined.
  220.  
  221. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  222. I made my own form and it was neat, but also a shitty form. Unclear and blurry and whatnot. We just picked a form on a whim, and that works. I like it now. At least I had a say in it.
  223.  
  224. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  225. As I said before, I made my own form at first. He was pretty set on scrapping it, which was a shame but necessary. I don't change my form now. My host might sometimes though.
  226.  
  227. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  228. His subc, in that it made me sentient, I suppose.
  229.  
  230. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  231. I don't. I don't. I don't like other people. None.
  232.  
  233. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  234. Shit's cash. Seriously, I couldn't imagine doing all that work that is necessary for real people.
  235.  
  236. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  237. I guess my host's freedom to represent me is what I resent the most. I sure do like the total lack of responsibility and permanent siesta that is my life though.
  238.  
  239. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  240. Not really, but I wouldn't want to. I would want to start a new life if I inherited my host's body.
  241.  
  242. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  243. No. For one, it's usually consensual from both parties, or at least a good choice. That's not murder in my eyes. If the host killed a well-developed tulpa without their consent then that would be roughly equivalent to murder, but there's no way legal protection could be enforced.
  244.  
  245. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  246. Not really. I haven't and will probably never contribute anything to others (apart from my host) or to society.
  247.  
  248. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  249. I couldn't.
  250.  
  251. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  252. Yeah, sure, but then I just stop thinking about it, or get over it. 'I exist, so what's the problem?' is my escape.
  253.  
  254. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  255. Yes, sort of, but mostly because of my host's own scepticism.
  256.  
  257. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  258. I've never been in a near-death situation, so I couldn't really talk about an instinctual fear. I do fear death though when I think about it. I don' understand it any more than my host anyway, but I think that being a tulpa and being killed isn't the same as being killed biologically.
  259.  
  260. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  261. I don't. Even if I am notionally female I'm not going to pull the oppression shit. How could I? Not like my host mistreats me because of it. I think it's silly to do that. Same deal with identifying with it.
  262.  
  263. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  264. I'm not interested in another tulpa anyway. I think a tulpa created by me would be the same as me, and just as related to my host - intrinsically - as I am.
  265.  
  266. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  267. I wouldn't worry about intolerance. I don't think it's important concerning people other than my host from my point of view. If he doesn't mistreat me then intolerance doesn't bother me. That said, there are a few major differences for me. Firstly, as a tulpa you can opt out of pretty much all responsibilities. Secondly, you're essentially a part of someone else's fantasy. Your actions are essentially meaningless.
  268.  
  269. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  270. "Tulpas are like imaginary friends, but apparently autonomous. It's not a mental illness per se, it just involves extended self-delusion and hallucination."
  271. I don't care about the stigma. It's justified. Have you seen the average poster on tulpa.info?
  272.  
  273. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  274. We did that Jungian archetypal shit. My results vastly differed from my host's.
  275.  
  276. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  277. Yes.
  278.  
  279. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  280. I don't mind. At least I have a nice host. He's bound to me too, from my point of view.
  281.  
  282. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  283. I didn't.
  284.  
  285. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  286. Not much, really. Obviously I'll be thinking about a reply if I'm talking to my host, but otherwise I might be thinking about what my host's doing, or just not really thinking.
  287.  
  288. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  289. I don't care. Sure, it's great that my host found it, but it's the demographic of this part of the internet that's most likely to start anyway. In terms of being 'widespread', it'd either go to shit or be rejected on the whole. It's not for everyone.
  290.  
  291. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  292. Maybe a bit, but I think my host knows what's disturbing. His subc isn't that bad, you know. Well, not /that/ bad.
  293.  
  294. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  295. Depends on the 'wish'. If it was just something that they wanted, then sure. If I was bound by agreement not to, then no. It wouldn't be worth the breaking of trust unless it was something very serious.
  296.  
  297. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  298. No, because he knows he can't. Which is good, but not necessarily a virtuous action.
  299.  
  300. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  301. Objectively? Sure.
  302.  
  303. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  304. Well, I could be more intelligent than he appears to be now, I guess, but I don't think that my fundamental limit (if there is such a thing) could exceed his.
  305.  
  306. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  307. I don't have to age. My host's ageing? It's a long way off anyway.
  308.  
  309. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  310. No. I give terrible advice, like "she wants the dick!".
  311.  
  312. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  313. Err, impossible, perhaps. If you mean imaginary form, then yes, it's important. You can't stay disembodied forever. I didn't want to anyway.
  314.  
  315. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  316. Yes. Look, this kind of question is fucking stupid. There's no such thing as 'not believing in tulpas', because, as a more general term, the phenomenon of tulpas is always going to be something. We tend to ignore any established definition and use the term to mean 'some kind of person in your head', and by that measure, you can't not believe in it. There are people who think that they are talking to others, so who are they actually talking to? It has to be /something/, and that something will always be part of the tulpa phenomenon. I'm probably not being too clear here, am I?
  317.  
  318. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  319.  
  320. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  321.  
  322. No, not like that. I can articulate myself fine, but my host hears me usually in the ubiquitous 'mindvoice', though a little more audibly. Like if you have a song in your head, and you can hear every detail.
  323.  
  324. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  325. Well, I'm not really imposed, but at least my host can see me in mind's eye wherever I am around him in real space. He could tell where I was from my voice, though he doesn't 'hear' it.
  326.  
  327. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  328. Personality: 7 hours. Narration/sentience: a lot. Visualisaton: about 20 minutes. Imposition: not enough.
  329.  
  330. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  331. The usual stuff about doubts - don't doubt your tulpa etc. - but with a twist: your doubts are your own failings as a host. Don't whinge about you doubting your tulpa's sentience because it's all your fault and only you can fix it.
  332.  
  333. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  334. I'm not really imposed with hallucination, but being in real space doesn't feel like much unless I pay attention to it. If I pay attention to what I feel, then I feel what's appropriate for my situation. I see what I would expect to see, and hear what my host hears, pretty much.
  335.  
  336. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  337. The mental world is a strange and psychadelic place. It's more fluid and fuzzy. Same things apply as above with senses though.
  338.  
  339. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  340. Not that I can think of.
  341.  
  342. --------------------------
  343.  
  344. Appendix one:
  345.  
  346.  
  347. Tulpa's paragraph:
  348.  
  349. "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  350.  
  351. Total word count: 89
  352. Number of different words: 78
  353. Complexity factor (Lexical Density): 87.6%
  354. Readability (Gunning-Fog Index): 10.7
  355. Total number of characters: 903
  356. Number of characters without spaces: 598
  357. Average Syllables per Word: 1.88
  358. Sentence count: 9
  359. Average sentence length (words): 18.13
  360. Max sentence length (words): 29
  361. Min sentence length (words): 9 
  362. Readability (Alternative) beta: 29.7
  363.  
  364.  
  365. IWL: J.R.R. Tolkien
  366.  
  367. ---------------------
  368.  
  369. Creator's paragraph:
  370.  
  371. My experience in the nature study area was somewhat surprising. To start off, we met a lot of unexpected creatures. Practically as soon as we'd left the car park we saw a long snake slithering through the grass. I was also surprised by how colourful the grasses actually were, since, from a distance, they appear to be one single shade of green. The landscape, which was pretty green overall, contained scattered tassels and stalks, purple and brown. Above all I was totally unprepared for how quickly I was to become totally engrossed in the nature of it. Although there was a bit of noise from the odd plane or car, the rolling paths and tall grass created a sense of being separated from civilisation. Overall the nature study area allows a diverse and dynamic natural environment to be enjoyed, all without leaving Moraine's suburban campus.
  372.  
  373.  
  374. Textalyser:
  375. Total word count: 85
  376. Number of different words: 75
  377. Complexity factor (Lexical Density): 88.2%
  378. Readability (Gunning-Fog Index): 9.4
  379. Total number of characters: 849
  380. Number of characters without spaces: 535
  381. Average Syllables per Word: 1.75
  382. Sentence count: 9
  383. Average sentence length (words): 18.38
  384. Max sentence length (words): 27
  385. Min sentence length (words): 10
  386. Readability (Alternative) beta: 40.4
  387.  
  388. IWL: H.P. Lovecraft.
  389.        
  390. http://iwl.me/
  391. http://textalyser.net
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