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- Being 20 wishing you were 80 is weird
- Livin lonely undercover hidin feelins is real
- I don't wanna preach bad about nothin but me
- i self destruct every fuckin moment i breathe
- Have any of you ever actually been so depressed
- Youd rather lay in bed & stare at the wall than be with friends
- You'd keep quiet how you feel to anybody who ask
- Shrug it,off put on a smile then its off to the next
- I dont fucking get it
- I never have i never will i might as well
- Admit it, then myself to a psycho bin
- Im not even crazy im just empty inside
- I dont,care if tomorrow i wake up and live or if tonight i die
- I havent even been able to,cry.
- Yeah, thats right
- Its been over 3 years since a tesr left my eye
- Its been harder every day to a point where i dont even try
- I let this sickness consume me like bread to water
- And im just letting it soak me up and pull me apart from the pressure
- And every few weeks i get the same damn lecture
- Grow up, be a man, take that shame and remember
- You,get one life in this world don't be a fucking waste
- Wipe the frown off your face and wake up and say
- You have the power to change and dont try to erase
- Your responsibility to survive in a world full of hate
- Fuck...
- See the hate you speak is just the hate you see
- Bht the hate I see is the hate you need
- And you remind me of kt constantly
- But youre never there when I'm on my knees
- When im in mybed
- When i cant get out of my head
- When im asking god is there a single reason to live
- Or why did he make,me become this way
- Omwas it the choice i made without knowing the consequence id,face
- I gave up on school, i dropped out i never wanted to be something
- I always thought itd be given to me if I asked for it
- Never knew id have to bleed to produce anything
- Thats my honest mistake
- I think the sayin goes
- You cant have your cake and eat it too
- But the aame can be said about me and you
- And anyone else who thinks they know my pain
- And if you,think im excusing then youre the one who's insane
- Youre the one who complains
- Im the one who keeps quiet
- Every fuckin time i wanna yell or scream i don't try it
- Bevause i don't wanna seem weak though I know behind this mask im just a fuckin sheep
- And i don't know who's my shepard
- Ive stranded from the group and im vulnerable to every wolf hungry
- Every mother fucker always wants a free sample
- Poke and prod, they pull my wool in spots to make me look like the fool
- When all i want is to find my place
- I love every person i come across anybody who feels down know I'm also in your thoughts
- Anybody who wants to kull themselves know thats not your fault
- Cause you werent given the affection or assurance you needed when you thought
- How shit life was,
- how fucked you felt
- How abandonded you felt
- How ignored you seemed when you,cried for help
- My tear are all dried up
- I keep chuckin the fuckin bucket down the well but its all dried up
- I shelf bottles of pain but that only does so much
- Cause every bottle i got has a name and i dont forget that taste
- I space myself from confliction & thats my worst addiction
- Fuck the cigaerttes those dont conpare to what I'm missing
- And that's a touch of myself
- A touch of an angel to help hold me up
- Cause I'm nearly about to break every bottle and sink
- In regret, guilt, in depression and broken dreams
- Heh
- Depression...
- A word commonly used but rarely ever holds its value
- Often comparable to the way kids say i love you
- Im 20 years young but i wanna be 80
- So everyday i have the possibility of dying shamelessly
- So when i take my leave people wont be surprised
- And act like they never assumed id be the guy to take his life
- And I promise i won't
- To who? I don't lnow because truthfully i am alone
- Maybe this is wby god made me this way
- Maybe im the one whos supposed to open the gates.
- Maybe ill be the one to spread faith where others look away and say
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