KCQ - TeleGraf 2 Part 2: The Fulda Gap - FINAL

Parker shifted uncomfortably.  He was used to sleeping in awkward positions; from the non-skid of a flight deck to a fetal ball crammed in between equipment racks.  Falling asleep at his desk should have been no problem.

So why did it feel like his chest was in a vice?

One eye popped open and a hand went to his chest.  He felt the stab-vest he was still wearing constricting him.  He leaned up from his desk, a blanket someone had draped over him falling from his shoulders.  He pulled off the vest and tossed it aside.  He yawned, idly scratching his chest, and looked at the time.  He had gotten back to Yokosuka sometime after 0400, and now it was sometime after ten.

Shit, he was behind schedule.  He needed to check in on his guys and-

His computer was making a noise.  He turned on his monitor to see he was getting a call all the way from Portsmouth.  His sleep-deprived mind wondered who from Britbongistan would be calling as he answered.

The slightly flushed face of Graf Spee greeted him; her long, braided blonde hair casually draped over her shoulder, and the top few buttons of her jacket were open, revealing the plain-grey shirt underneath.  She had a drink in her hand, and as Parker watched, she took a sip from it.  It looked like she was reading something on her computer.  He watched her for a minute; her soft blue eyes had a slightly glassy look to them, an obvious sign she had been drinking for a while.  He glanced down at his desk where he saw someone had placed a cup of coffee and a small plate of doughnuts with a note.  He sipped from the cup as he read the note.  He grimaced slightly at the cold and bitter taste of Dunkin' Donuts-brand coffee.

The note read, in fairly shaky but legible handwriting:

"Dear Chief Parker,

Even though I just got back from the sortie, I went to the gym for training, just as you'd want.  You weren't there, so I came to your office.  You were asleep at your desk.  It looked like you had been up all night working, so I brought you some coffee and donuts for when you wake up.  I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning, then.  Get some proper sleep, Chief!

Very Respectfully,
USS William D. Porter
DD-579"

Parker smiled at the note; he'd have to do something nice for Willie, to repay the favor.  He turned back to his monitor, where Graf was now refilling her drink; still oblivious to the fact that Parker had picked up her call.

"Graf, you're drunk, aren't you?"

She practically flew back from her computer in surprise.  He saw her messing with her computer for a second, before he saw recognition on her face.  "Ah!  Herr Jimmy!  I've been trying to..." she trailed off as she looked at him over the computer.

"... You look... rough, Herr Jimmy.  You've been sleeping at your desk, haven't you?"

Parker rubbed at his face and felt the good start to two days' growth of stubble.  "Ah, yeah.  It's been a wild few days for me.  Guess it all caught up this morning and I fell asleep at my desk."

Graf chuckled.  "You should take better care of yourself, then.  We can't have you falling asleep on watch, can we?"  She said, giving him a sly smile.

Parker laughed at that.  "It only happened once or twice... a deployment."  He took a pull from the coffee.  "So, what's the call for, business or..?"

"Social.  Actually, I forgot what I called for.  My friends and I went out celebrating tonight, and I've been trying to call you for the past half hour or so.."

"Sorry about that," Parker smiled sheepishly as Graf waved off his apology; "What were you celebrating?"

Graf leaned in, unknowingly giving Parker a good look at her cleavage, hemmed in by her jacket and shirt.  "Liverpool and Glasgow got back from convoy duty yesterday.  It's a little tradition of ours to go out celebrating whenever someone comes back safe."

Parker forcefully tore his gaze away from Graf's 'magazines'.  "Did something happen?  Did Liverpool finally 'glass' someone?"

Graf laughed (Editor: oh god did I really just write that?).  "Thankfully, no.  Edinburgh and Glasgow were able to pull her out of the pub before she did any harm.  She-" Graf cut herself off at a knock coming from her side of the monitor.  "I'll be right back."

Parker started in on the plate of doughnuts while he listened to Graf answering her door.

"Guten abend."

"Oy, Pencil.  Let us in, we've got booze an' stuff."

"We dinnae wanted ye ta be lonely after wha' Eggsy pulled."

Parker picked up on the accents; the first had to have been the infamous Liverpool, the latter one of the two Scottish girls; either Glasgow of Edinburgh.

"I'm not lonely, girls.  I'm actually on a call overseas."

"Tha' Septic bloke you've been on about?  Lemme see 'im."

Parker heard Graf make aborted pleas to keep them out when he saw a new face appear in the monitor.  She had long brown hair and was wearing a scowl that lit up into a grin when she saw Parker with a doughnut half in his mouth.

"Bloody 'ell, he's got a ring-cake an' looks like like some SBS goon!"

Parker spat out his doughnut at 'ring-cake', and started choking back laughter.  Three other faces came into view; Graf and two others.

"Ach, Livvie, ye scared him an' now Graf's beau is gonna die!"

Parker once again spat, while on the other end Graf was stuttering and blushing.  "H-he's not my 'beau' or anything of the sort!  J-just a friend!"

"Oy, Seppo, don't go dyin' now; ye'll break Pencil's heart an' all," said Liverpool with a smile.

"Why do you call her 'pencil'?" Parker asked, once he finished coughing with laughter.

"'Coz I'm a bloody Liverpudlian; schooner or not.  Graf, graphite, pencil," Liverpool explained.

Parker followed that train of thought.  "Oh god.  Cockney rhyming slang?"

Liverpool smiled at him.  "Ayup.  An' if ye'll follow me train o' thought: Seppo, Septic, Seperatist, American."

Parker laughed and applauded her. "Oh god, I love it.  And here I thought you Brits had gotten over that particular butthurt."

Liverpool laughed with him.  "Ah, s'all in good fun, I say."

"So, Graf mentioned you were out celebrating tonight?" Parker asked once he calmed down, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"Ach, aye.  Livvie an' I jus' got back from convoy duty!  We gotta meet our Canadian sisters fer tha' first time!"  chimed in the read-headed girl, who Parker assumed was Glasgow.

"Ah!  Glassie, tell 'im abou' tha' dogs ye saw!"  Edinburgh added.

Liverpool butted in, stopping Glasgow before she could start. "I'll tell it; it's not like 'e'll be able understand with yer accents."

Glasgow and Edingburgh giggled while Graf held her face and laughed silently.  "We met up with th' Maple Bars an' summa yer Seppo ships offa tha' one place in Iceland; Reyhavock or rejabix or somethin'," Liverpool started.

"It's pronounced Rake-ya-vick, Livvie," Graf said helpfully.

"Right, Wheatabix.  So, th' Maple Bars 'ave this one cruiser-girl, an' she's in full uniform like some posh toy.  An' she's sailin' with a few smaller girls, frigates or somefing wearing these sports jerseys, and this big ol' pack o' dogs.  She introduced 'erself as HMCS Ontario, all fulla maple syrup with a bloody commission as a Louie."

"An' tha' dogs were these big ol' shaggy things called Newfies tha're their auld corvettes!" chimed in Glasgow.

"Ach, fine; you finish it, Pint-Glass," said Liverpool, waving away Glasgow.

Glasgow forced her way into the middle of the screen.  "A-an' anyway, these doggies are all big an' shaggy an' friendly!  You should've seen how they were wi' tha' Krieg Euies!"

"Euies?  What're those?" Parker asked.

"Ah, I believe she means the U-Boat girls. Elf, that is, U-511 mentioned that they use the Canadian Newfies as a sort of 'welcome back' hazing," Graf interjected.

Parker raised an eyebrow at this.  "What now?  How?"

Graf continued, "The Newfies are Canadian anti-submarine corvettes; apparently they're really friendly.  So, whenever the U-boat-girls go out with a new arrival, they don't tell them about the Newfies.  Und..."

Parker filled in the blanks.  "... The Newfie jumps on a terrified sub-girl and licks her?"

Graf and the others shared a chuckle. "Ja.  Und apparently the girls make new friends for life with a lovable shaggy dog."

Parker laughed along with them.  It seemed all was right on that side of the world...