I want to start off by saying I'm the antagonist of this story so don't give pity or you'll not hear the end of it.

A couple of years ago I met some girl in an art class and we sat next to each other, since our names were close to one another, and she was very good. As in 10x better than anyone in that class
We started messing around the next few lessons and we had some fun messing everyone else up. She messaged me on Facebook one day and said hi so I did the logical thing and spammed funny images of inbread cats.
After a few days, we started getting to know each other and talking about our lives up until that point and after a few months, we were pretty good friends.

Then I fell out with my only circle of friends and was pretty upset about it so I blocked my Facebook account and didn't really speak to anyone much. It was only when I came back from the holidays that the girl had
become really upset about me turning off Facebook because it was the only way to stay in touch and she thought I had blocked her. I explained to her that it was an accident and she didn't say anything back.

It came to Valentine's day and she still hadn't spoken to me so I decided to slip her a drawing of Kirito, one of her favourite characters from the anime we watched, and gave her my Skype address. It wasn't a romantic gesture,
it just felt suitable to do at that time.
We became friends again and started talking to each other more, each day more, and began to stay around each other at break.
But I didn't love her at that point.

I'd had requests from other girls whilst talking to her because I didn't feel anything special with anyone, not even with her, and the worst part is I'd heard from her friends
that she liked me but I didn't believe them so we just carried on as normal without saying a word about love for a few more months.

It was only until she had began dating a few other people before I realised that I was jealous. I'd seen them at the park together since I live close by and it was pretty upsetting.
She said she didn't love these people and only dated them because they asked and she didn't want to say no. She's also began to be jealous of another girl in our classes, as at that point, I was
doing violin lessons with her and because of this, the girl also decided to join violin. She admitted that it was just to have someone in common and she got really distressed over this, so I reassured her.

After this, we started talking more as she was upset about dating them, but we still hadn't said anything to one another. At school, one of her close friends had decided to change
gender as s/he had decided to develop feelings for her and wanted to date her, but she declined this time. They still stayed in touch with one another, but since they have some
medical issues, s/he never really came to school.

It'd been quite some time since then and we eventually just decided to do something as friends, so we decided to go see a movie together. Thing is, no one else turned up so we were alone. Unfortunately, it was also a romance
film so that didn't really help lol. Anyway, when we came out there was this guy who had asked her out previously waiting outside some dodgy bar along with some other assholes.
We walked past them making sure to avoid eye contact but they followed us to through some alley. One of the men decided to walk up behind me and light a deodarant can on fire
at the back of my head. I ignored them and carried on walking with her, hurrying her in front and when they went to swing, they hit the back of my head so I decided to slam the firs guy's head into the metal railing
that was next to us. I stood there and looked at the other two as the other guy laid on the floor and they came at me at once so I let them him me, not wanting to fight back.
Eventually I slammed my hands against one guy's ears and he didn't attack me again. The other guy decided to do the reasonable thing and help his friends.
The girl at this point had began to feel worried since I was bleeding from my mouth, but I don't feel pain during that sort of heightened adrenaline so it was fine for me.
Good news is that she got home safely and I got a free £100 for getting to beat up some people. So it was a good day.

The other s/he had began to confront me about going to the cinema with her, saying it was a date and that s/he liked her. But I just ignored them because they were being irrational.

By a few weeks time, Valentine's day had come around again and I decided to do another drawing since we both did it previously. Except for the fact that the day before Valentine's day we both got
excluded for the day. We were both walking out of class when some idiot decided to insult me, so the girl hit him on the back of the head and told him to grow up. I said to let it slide, but
when we walked down the stairs, the same petulant brat stayed there and tried pushing her down the stairs. When I raised my voice, he pushed my chest and when I walked away, he piped up
so I slapped him across the face with a satisfying smack. We both sat in the office looking nervous as hell and got the news that we'd be excluded for the day (which happened to be Valentine's day).

So the next day we went to the park together and just sat down for a bit. We talked there and I handed her the drawing I did for her. She hugged me and then we laid there for a bit until she handed me hers. Neither had anything
written. That same day she asked me out.

From then on we began to see each other more and go to each other's houses and all that stuff. It was only then that I realised how much I loved her. She was; pretty, smart, talented, funny and charismatic. I couldn't
have asked for anyone else. We enjoyed our time together for some months and it was great to have someone there.

It was only until near to the end of the year where things had been slowing down. We didn't talk as much or go out as we used to and it was a pretty big turn from what we'd been used to.
When I asked about why, she said she didn't know so I got really confused and irritated because it'd all been going fine. For some reason, we just didn't know what to say to one another and then I guess from there on
it got progessively worse. She'd began to move away at breaks and we didn't really talk in person any more.

This affected us both more than we wanted and she was never really the sort to openly come out with those sorts of feelings. I was more upset about this because she was the only sort of real friend
I had and the sudden lack of company had really gotten to me since I couldn't really interact with her and her friends.

After this, I began to get more jealous and questioning her more and more about it. She said she didn't know what to do and I got more upset about it than I should have.
I decided to go to her house one day as a surprise since she hadn't turned up for a week. She answered and she was upset when I opened the door. It's easier to not say exactly what she said, but
she gave me one last hug and kiss and then we broke up mutually.
We still talked most days and were still friends. Until later on

It'd been a few weeks and things had begun to improve since then. We'd grown more comfortable around one another again and we were both happier. Then, I asked her out again, but she declined this time.
You can probably guess that this didn't help.

I won't go into detail about what happened, only that I was an arsehole to her and during the holidays, we'd stopped talking altogether.She didn't want it anymore and I was the opposite, trying to persuade her I and did it in the wrong ways.
We eventually blocked each other and despite not talking, I was still distressed about this for some time which was just selfish and immature and I apologised to make up for it more times than I can count, but it just wore out.

We've only really spoken due to some events constricting us, like when the two of us went to some orchestra, but there was always some tension and sadness which is the part that made the most sickened because it was the reality of it never being the same.
So yeah, don't feel pity or even say anything about it. I was still a huge dick and you can call me an asshole in private or openly if you want.