Advertisement
Guest User

Luna vs. Anons Parents by MountainSides

a guest
Feb 28th, 2016
808
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 128.33 KB | None | 0 0
  1. >You are Anon, recently returned from Equestria to your homeland.
  2. >You had the time of your life there, meeting hundreds of ponies, and even finding something a bit...more with one of them.
  3. >It is for this reason you have returned, alongside the Princess of the Equestrian Night, Luna.
  4. >You've been worried about this meetup for weeks now, and standing in front of the hotel mirror, you're not getting any calmer.
  5. >You can't even talk to yourself, since your mind seems to be drawing nothing but blanks.
  6. >"Ahem."
  7. >You jerk from your reverie and spin around, smiling instinctively as Luna's eyes meet yours.
  8. >Whew...
  9. >Just staring at her calms you down from almost anything.
  10. >"Is everything quite alright, Anon?"
  11. >You give a quick nod, trying to mask your anxiety.
  12. "Yeah, I just really want this to go well, you know? My parents are nice, but they can take a long time to get warmed up to anything or anyone they don't like."
  13. >She flashes you a quick smirk, stepping in and nuzzling her shoulder against your ribs, emitting a strange purring sound not unlike a cat.
  14. >It's a trait unique to her, as far as you know.
  15. >Not a single other pony in Equestria has ever done this around you.
  16. >You quickly lift her into your arms, pressing her cheek up against your own, and take a deep breath.
  17. >She smells like pine needles and sweet smoke, an intoxicating blend.
  18. >"I wouldn't worry. I'll make sure to be on my very best behavior."
  19. >You take a step back, presenting yourself to her.
  20. "How do I look?"
  21. >She mirrors your backward step, looking up and down your whole body.
  22. >"Like a million Bits."
  23. >You flash her a quick grin, adjusting your tie as you do so.
  24. "You ready?"
  25. >She nods, and you step over to the door, opening it and gesturing her out.
  26.  
  27. Power Gap
  28.  
  29. >Very little transpired on your 20-minute taxi ride to your parents' house on the edge of the suburbs, aside from a few kisses for luck and courage.
  30. >However, the second that little house appears in your eyesight, it appears as a fortress.
  31. >You cringe, trying not to show your fear and failing horribly.
  32. >A warmth grips your hand, and you glance down to see a dark blue aura surrounding it.
  33. >Luna places a hoof under your chin and directs your gaze to hers.
  34. >"You'll be fine, Anon. It's just you and me."
  35. >You are a taxi driver in Los Angeles, catering to the transportation needs of Anon.
  36. >You've been in the business for years now, seen pretty much all there is to see.
  37. >Even so, you can help but raise an eyebrow when Anon slides into your backseat alongside what looks to be a dark blue horse with wings and a horn.
  38. >You'd been told to expect him to be in odd company, and you knew he'd been to some weird horse planet, which was why he was so famous.
  39. >The prospect of having an alien horse in your cab, though, was still a bit off-putting.
  40. "Well, where can I take you to?"
  41. >Anon slides a piece of paper into the passenger seat with an address scribbled on it and proceeds to lay his head in his hands.
  42. >The address is for an old development on the outskirts of town, but you're more interested in the horse behind you as you put the car in gear.
  43. >She seems to be nuzzling up against him and...purring?
  44. >That's kind of weird, but kind of adorable too.
  45. >You take off, letting the purr of both the horse and your engine fill your mind until one of them stops.
  46. >The car is still moving, so you take a quick glance in your rear view mirror.
  47. >jawdrop.jpg
  48. >The dude is tongue fencing this horse like nobody's business.
  49. >For a moment, you consider stopping right then and there, then you remember that this is an alien.
  50. >She might not take kindly to any rude advances, and she probably has other forms besides a horse.
  51. >Dozens of crazy theories fly through your head, as well as an inexplicable sense of jealousy, which you quickly beat back.
  52. >Sure, she's pretty nice looking for what she is, but come on now...
  53. >You shake out of your thoughts and focus on the road until you make it to the address, at which point Anon steps out of the car and stops.
  54. >You lean out of the window, ready to wait if he's not gonna take long.
  55. >You watch in abject terror as your parents throw open the screen door, making a beeline for the car.
  56. >You've got just enough time to shimmy around the side and open the Princess's door before they both reach you, tackling you with two big hugs.
  57. >You grin a bit as you return the hugs.
  58. >For the briefest of moments, you feel as if your fears have been completely unfounded.
  59. >Everything is the same as its always been.
  60. >Your dad still smells like menthol cigarettes, your mom like dish soap and fresh bread.
  61. >But then...you feel her lungs deflate, and she begins to pull away from you.
  62. >You step back, and both sets of eyes are directed very pointedly at Luna.
  63. >You're almost shocked at the motions your own body takes, instinctively stepping to her side and staring across the space at the both of them.
  64. "Mom, Dad...I'd like to introduce you to my fiancé. This is Luna."
  65. >They glance between you and the Alicorn, clearly trying to mask a lot of skepticism.
  66. "Now I know what you're thinking..."
  67. >You are interrupted by Luna taking a quick step outward and bowing low to your parents, causing you to draw a complete blank.
  68. >Clearly unsure of what to do, your parents return the bow uncertainly.
  69. >You take a quick breath.
  70. >Maybe this won't go as terribly as you were afraid of.
  71. >As all three of them straighten up, Luna steps forward and extends a hoof toward your father.
  72. >"It is a great pleasure to meet you, Mr. Ymous."
  73. >He raises an eyebrow skeptically, but grasps her hoof and gives it a light shake.
  74. >"Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you too."
  75. >She grins politely and moves toward your mother, extending the same hood.
  76. >Your mother takes it quickly, and you see her forearm twitch a bit, hinting that she's undergoing her typical squeezing contest with Luna.
  77. >It takes almost twenty seconds before she realizes that Luna is wearing steel hoof guards.
  78. >You can't help but smirk a bit as your mother pulls her hand back quickly.
  79. "So, shall we head inside?"
  80. >Everyone nods, turning toward your front door.
  81. >As you approach the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder.
  82. >It's your dad, gesturing you to the corner of the patio as your mother and Luna head inside.
  83. >You reluctantly part with them, following your father as he lights up a cigarette and stares at you for a second.
  84. "Do I have a growth or something?"
  85. >He shakes his head and sighs, puffing out a ring of smoke.
  86. >"No, I'm just a bit curious as to...well..."
  87. "Why I'm planning on getting married to a pony?"
  88. >"Well, yeah."
  89. >You take a breath and nod.
  90. >This question was bound to come sooner or later, so sooner was probably better.
  91. "I'm marrying Luna because I love her. It's that simple."
  92. >Your dad purses his lips, but before he can offer a retort, you continue.
  93. "Dad, I spent almost a year in Equestria. The inhabitants are just as intelligent as humans, more so in a few cases. I'm not taking advantage of her or anything."
  94. >Your father takes a deep draw on his cigarette and tosses it down, crushing the butt out absentmindedly.
  95. >"Alright, fair enough. Only...have you two..."
  96. >Another imminent question, one that's a lot easier to answer.
  97. "No, dad. I haven't slept with her yet."
  98. >He nods stepping toward the door.
  99. >"Just checking."
  100. >You and your father both step inside, and you rapidly find your face buried in a pile of blue fluff.
  101. "Hello, Luna."
  102. >"Anon, this is truly incredible! I know you told me that much of your world was run on electricity, but this is absolutely unbelievable!"
  103. >You glance around her at your mom, who seems to have her left eyebrow permanently locked in the up position.
  104. "You showed her the microwave, didn't you?"
  105. >A quick nod, and you place Luna on the ground.
  106. "Fair enough."
  107. >You can't help but notice your dad's finger tapping on the counter, mere seconds after coming in.
  108. >areyoukiddingme.jpg
  109. >Luna seems to follow your gaze, and flashes a mild grin at your father.
  110. >"Sir, if I may, I noticed earlier that you were using a certain substance. If you're being troubled by some form of addiction, I believe I could help you with it."
  111. >Your father chuckles a bit.
  112. >"No offense, ma'am, but I've been smoking for 34 years, and I've tried every method there is of quitting."
  113. >Luna gives a slight grin, tilting her head to the side a bit.
  114. >"Humor me, if you would."
  115. >He shrugs, standing up to his full height.
  116. >"Shoot."
  117. >Her horn sparks, and you watch in awe as a cloud of yellow-gray steam rises from your father's pores.
  118. >The whole thing collects above him and directs itself out the back door, floating upward immediately.
  119. >Your dad feels his whole body, grinning in shock and awe as he takes a deep breath.
  120. >"You're kidding..."
  121. >Your father rushes outside, faster than you've seen him go in years, and through the kitchen window you can see him out there taking massive breaths.
  122. >He lets out a hearty laugh, clearly elated.
  123. >You begin to frown as he fishes the little box from his pocket, but after a final look at it, he drops it straight to the ground and crushes it under his foot.
  124. >Shortly after, he steps back inside, grinning and taking massive breaths.
  125. >"Man...I just...wow..."
  126. >Your mother seems genuinely happy, and glances between your father and Luna for a few seconds before turning to you.
  127. >"Well, I'd say this is cause for a little celebration. What would you two like for dinner tonight? We'll get something out of the cellar to go with it."
  128. >Your lungs deflate at your mother's thinly veiled attempt to determine Luna's age.
  129. >Luckily, it's not a subject the Princess is touchy about, which is lucky, considering the number in question has four digits.
  130. "I'd say a veggie stir fry, if that's alright with you, Luna?"
  131. >She turns briefly to you, nodding silently as she watches the results of her work.
  132. >Namely, the beaming smile on your father's face.
  133. >"That, and maybe some of the good stuff you two keep under those tiles in the cellar."
  134. >Your parents glance at one another and grin a bit, then your dad turns to you, trying to suppress said grin.
  135. >"No idea at all what you're talking about. We absolutely don't keep any alcohol under the floor of our cellar."
  136. >Now they both bust out laughing, and your dad steps over to pat you on the back.
  137. >"Sure, no problem. Just don't start on your jar too early into dinner. You won't be able to taste anything if you do."
  138. >You roll your eyes, stepping into the living room with your father and sliding into the couch opposite his recliner.
  139. >Luna hops up beside you, curling up and laying on the next cushion in her usual adorable fashion.
  140. >She rests her head on your knee, and you lean back as your dad begins the inevitable interrogation.
  141. >"So, how long have you two known each other?"
  142. >You think back a bit, trying to discern the first day you met, but it was actually almost a year ago to the day, considering that was when you went through to Equestria.
  143. "About a year. We've been dating for two months, if that's what you mean."
  144. >He nods, seemingly in approval.
  145. >"And, erm, how long have you been back?"
  146. >This one requires notably less thought on your part.
  147. "One day. Just long enough to get customs paperwork done and clear Luna through that little encampment they set up around the portal. Luckily, the Equestrians are political allies now, so they were more or less inclined to release one of the Princesses."
  148. >As you speak, you instinctively move your hand over to Luna's neck, resting it on her collarbone.
  149. >Your dad nods once again, leaning back in his armchair.
  150. >"And you two are happy?"
  151. >You give a single, definite nod in reply.
  152. >"Well, I've got no objections. I wish you two the best."
  153. >You're almost positive this is some of the happiness from his earlier detox session talking, but you're relieved to see how easygoing he was going to be.
  154. >Your mother, on the other hand...
  155. >Well, no point in worrying about that yet.
  156. >Her tradition was to chase away your prospects for a relationship after the first dinner, and to be fair, Luna was over 1000 years old.
  157. >You found it difficult to believe that your mother would throw anything at her she'd never seen or heard.
  158. >And so, with that comforting thought in your head, you lean back against the couch and doze off.
  159. >You're not sure how long you're asleep, but by the time you wake up, the delicious mixture of Worcestershire sauce and honey barbeque.
  160. >Clearly, your mother hasn't lost the touch.
  161. >You almost leap up, but quickly realize you still have the head of a sleeping pony on your leg.
  162. >Gonna have to Indiana Jones it, then.
  163. >You reach gingerly across the couch, grabbing ahold of a firm pillow and placing it directly beside your leg.
  164. >As you slide from underneath Luna, you replace your thigh with your hand, and subsequently your hand with the pillow, never moving her head more than a centimeter.
  165. >You take a moment to grin down at her before stepping into the kitchen to meet with your mother.
  166. >You make it about two feet in before you are nearly knocked off your feet by a ball of maternal anger.
  167. >She's got you pinned against the counter, whispering in the angriest fashion possible.
  168. >"Are you SERIOUS? You told me that the next time we met, you were going to be engaged. But a HORSE?"
  169. >donewiththis.exe
  170. "Well, mother..."
  171. >Her eyes bulge notably as the sarcasm drips off of your voice.
  172. "For starters, I didn't lie. I came back, I'm engaged. Secondly, she's not a horse. She's a pony. Thirdly, you married dad after the third date. I've been dating Luna for six months now, so I think I might actually be an authority on how good she is for me. And finally, don't you DARE try and split her up from humanity because she looks different. I'd be willing to bet she's a smarter, wiser, and kinder person than anyone in this house, and most of the people in this city."
  173. >Your mother blinks for a moment in shocked silence, stepping back away from you and staring.
  174. >You take a deep breath, coming down from your anger high.
  175. "I'm sorry, mom. But she's my fiancé, and you're not going to change that."
  176. >Your mother nods, a ghost of a smile on her lips.
  177. >"So I see. You really do care about her, don't you?"
  178. "I do. She means just as much to me as dad means to you."
  179. >Your mom considers this prospect for a few moments, nodding slowly.
  180. >"Alright, then. You might want to let them know dinner's just about ready."
  181. >You nod, still a bit on edge, but more willing to let go of a bit of your anger.
  182. >You step into the living room again, leaning down toward Luna and running a hand through her mane.
  183. "Time to get up, Nightlight."
  184. >You smirk as you remember giving her that pet name, for the way her horn throws off light while she dreams.
  185. >She mumbles for a few seconds before lifting her head and placing a peck on your nose.
  186. >"Mmm, something smells absolutely delicious. Allow me to go congratulate your mother on her superb cooking skills."
  187. >You follow behind the beautiful mare as she moves toward the kitchen, punching your dad in the thigh as you go.
  188. >He grumbles, waking quickly and sitting up to follow you.
  189. >As you enter the kitchen you instinctively make a beeline for the silverware drawer, grabbing a group of forks, spoons, and knives and moving over to the table, setting them up quickly.
  190. >Just as you finish, your mother steps over to the table with a massive skillet, the contents of which she proceeds to split between the four plates.
  191. >"Alright, dinner is served!"
  192. >You pull out a chair for Luna, only taking your own seat once she sits.
  193. >Without another word, you all lift your forks, Luna with magic, and begin eating.
  194. >The meal goes in silence for about ten minutes before you each take a moment to lean back, glancing around the table.
  195. >One thing you've learned, Luna doesn't have as much experience at formal occasions as her sister, and is notably shyer.
  196. >Your mother, on the other hand...
  197. >"So, where were you two planning on having this surprise ceremony of yours?"
  198. >Could she have possibly been a bit more blunt about it?
  199. >Luna doesn't seem to mind, though, and perks right up with an answer.
  200. >"Anon and I are going to be having the wedding on the partition leading to the portal. We've already made arrangements for traffic to be redirected, although that was his idea."
  201. >You shrug, feeling no real need to justify not wanting to have cars zooming over your head during one of the most important days of your life.
  202. >"The ceremony will be on this side of the portal, the reception will be on the other. As I recall, my sister has brought in two ponies by the names of Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich to plan the whole thing once we pass through. I'm quite looking forward to it."
  203. >Your mother nods, obviously not satisfied but sated for the moment, giving you enough time to press your own questions.
  204. "So, mom, how have you and dad been?"
  205. >She blinks for a moment as her mind switches gears, lifting up the jar of clear liquid before her and taking a small sip before cutting it immediately with a sip of apple juice from the plastic cup beside it.
  206. >Before she can reply, Luna turns to you and begs a quick question.
  207. >"So sorry to interrupt, but I couldn't help but notice how sparingly you're all drinking this...ahem, drink. Is there something special about it?"
  208. >You lift your own jar, swilling it around for a second before tipping it up a bit, feeling the explosive burn in the back of your throat.
  209. "Special? Well, you might say that..."
  210. >Your parents glance over at you, clearly in disapproval of what you're about to say.
  211. "Technically, it's illegal, since we received it across state lines. This stuff is called moonshine, specifically, North Carolina White Lightning. A lot of people consider this to be the strongest alcohol that humans can partake of. That...is why we're taking it slow. I watched someone down a jar of this in three minutes one time. He slept for three days straight."
  212. >Luna takes a cautious glance at the jar, lifting it to her nose and sniffing.
  213. >Her eyebrows shoot up, but they don't stay that way.
  214. >After a second's hesitation, she tips the jar back and takes a huge gulp of the liquid.
  215. >Every pair of eyes at the table bulge, including hers, as she forces down the moonshine, tablespoon by horrific tablespoon.
  216. >As she finally works down the last of it, she reaches for her apple juice, tipping it back and draining the entire glass in ten seconds.
  217. >She replaces it on the table, her eyes watering and a flush spreading through her face.
  218. >"My apologies...the only alcoholic beverages I'd ever heard of came from either Manehattan as a wheat brew, or the Apple family farm as hard cider. I had no idea anypony could produce such a...substance."
  219. >Against your best will and judgement, you begin to chuckle a bit, leaning over and placing her hoof on your forehead as your chuckling devolves into mad laughter alongside your parents.
  220. >"What's so funny?"
  221. >You slow down, sensing a bit of legitimate confusion in her voice.
  222. "No-nothing. It's just...whew. Your face was absolutely priceless."
  223. >She grins a bit, shaking her head and returning to her stir fry.
  224. >As your laughter subsides, you do the same, polishing off the plate quickly and placing the dishes in the sink as the whole family migrates to the living room.
  225. >You immediately head over to the couch, leaning back and allowing Luna to curl up on your chest as your father switches on the TV.
  226. >Luna begins to purr again for a few seconds, but she stops almost immediately when your father switches on a game of football.
  227. That's American Football, sorry to anyone who gets up in arms over that.
  228. >"Anon, what is this?"
  229. >You follow her gaze, and she definitely seems worried about what she's seeing.
  230. "What's wrong?"
  231. >"Those...those humans. Why are they attacking each other?"
  232. >You chuckle, sitting up just enough to look her in the eyes.
  233. "They're not, at least not really. The whole thing is a game. The idea is for one team to get the ball into the zone on the opposite end of the field. The other team tries to stop them. It's as simple as that, really."
  234. >She glances over at the TV again, a bit uneasily this time, and you take a quick breath.
  235. "Dad, Mom, I think Luna and I are gonna head to bed."
  236. >They both glance over, a bit of worried expression on their faces, but they nod, cuing you to stand and head out, Luna trotting along behind you.
  237. >Up the stairs, you instinctively walk straight to your bedroom, which has been refurbished with a full size bed and a rather generic bedroom suit that you can't complain about.
  238. >Luna steps over to the window, throwing it open, and gasps.
  239. "What's wrong?"
  240. >You hear her chuckle under her breath, then she closes the window again.
  241. >"Nothing, really. It's just...the moon."
  242. >Right, you'd anticipated that.
  243. >Ponies weren't overly used to the prospect of natural occurrences in weather, or even the passage of time.
  244. "You okay?"
  245. >She turns, nodding, and you notice that the blush has come back into her cheeks.
  246. "Sure about that?"
  247. >"Don't tease me, Anon. I'm just..."
  248. >hiccup.wav
  249. >"Not entirely used to your Earthen alcohol."
  250. >Yeah, you were kind of expecting it to hit her soon.
  251. >She drank more than the rest of you combined at the table, and once she stood up from the couch, everything hit her.
  252. "Tell you what, you lay down, I'll be there in a minute."
  253. >She opts to take your advice, sliding into bed and getting up under the poofy comforter that your mother probably made.
  254. >After a quick slip into the bathroom to brush your teeth, you toss all your clothes except your underwear to the corner, quickly shimmying into the bed beside her and rolling over to look at her.
  255. >You just stare for a few moments, watching her lay there until she turns to you as well.
  256. >"Anon?"
  257. "Right here."
  258. >"Do you...do you think that we'll be happy together?"
  259. >You roll over, facing toward the ceiling for a moment.
  260. >The question is one that plagues every relationship, this much you're sure of.
  261. >That being said, you decide to let your hearts determine the answer.
  262. >You roll over again, facing her once more, and lean in to her.
  263. >Her horn presses up against your forehead, and you extend one arm, wrapping it around her shoulder.
  264. "I tell you what, Luna. Close your eyes, and I'll close mine. You can let my dreams answer that for you."
  265. >She grins, but you can already see her eyelids drifting shut from the fatigue of the day.
  266. >Not wanting to keep her waiting, you quickly follow suit, falling almost immediately into the ever-sweetening embrace of the night.
  267. >Your dream is familiar from the start, with you sitting on a park bench with a mixture of people and ponies walking past.
  268. >You lean back, breathing in the mist and watching as groups of people break off from the crowd and split into two groups with a gap in the middle.
  269. >You feel a slight tingling across your body as your clothes begin to change.
  270. >As it happens, you watch the crowd turn to the center of the newly formed aisle, watching as a white-clad mare steps down, accompanied by a small green dragon.
  271. >She reaches the end of the aisle after a few moments of walking and turns to the side in front of a small man in a dark green suit.
  272. >Instinctively, you rise from the bench and straighten the suit that your dream has forged from your street clothes.
  273. >You can't suppress a huge grin as you step down the aisle, coming to a halt in front of the bride.
  274. >You reach one hand out, gingerly lifting the veil on her face and revealing the beautiful dark mare.
  275. "Well, what do you think?"
  276. >She smiles, tears of joy in her eyes.
  277. >"I never get tired of this dream."
  278. >The priest beside you begins, skipping immediately to the important part.
  279. >Anonymous, do you swear to all extent of your mortal soul that you shall love and care for this mare, as long as you both shall live?"
  280. >You take a breath, nodding as you answer.
  281. "I love you, Luna. Hundreds upon thousands of years from now, that fact will not have changed. I do."
  282. >She swallows, clearly ecstatic.
  283. >But just as she opens her mouth to reply, you are both rattled awake in bed by the sound of a massive explosion.
  284. >Already very annoyed, and just slightly worried, you slide out of bed alongside Luna and grab a robe off of the closet door on your way to the hall.
  285. >As soon as you reach the door, you recognize a sentence from downstairs that forces you to clench your fists.
  286. >"I'm back."
  287. >Your parents are, at three in the morning, watching Terminator 3 on full blast volume.
  288. >You storm down the stairs, smacking a hand into the wall as you enter the living room to alert them of your presence.
  289. >Immediately, your father smashes the mute button and glances subtly over at your mother, as if to say 'her idea, not mine.'
  290. "What's going on down here?"
  291. >Your mother puts on her best innocent voice, although you can clearly see the maternal malice behind her façade.
  292. >"Nothing, dear. Just watching a movie, like we always do at night."
  293. "The most violent movie we own? On 100% volume? Mom, I'm not an idiot. Apparently, however, we need to have a discussion to prove that to you."
  294. >You step into the living room, parking yourself on one end of the loveseat.
  295. >Luna follows, opting to nestle herself in the crevasse between the cushions and place her head on your knee rather than just take the other cushion.
  296. "Now, look. I've been dating Luna for six months, and you really think I haven't told her about humanity's history with violence?"
  297. >Your mother purses her lips a bit, but is ready with a comeback.
  298. >"I just want to make sure you're both going into this fully aware of your choices."
  299. >You open your mouth to reply, but Luna pipes up instead.
  300. >"I am definitely apprised of what awaits, should Anonymous and I continue down this path. I understand that humanity has a somewhat...tumultuous history, more so than Equestria, but I also don't view him automatically as a representative for all of your people, or vice versa. Anon is his own man, and by all rights I simply wish to be a mare to match."
  301. >Your mother seems a bit shocked at this statement.
  302.  
  303. >You can't help but smirk just a bit at your mother's dumbfounded expression, and you lean back in your chair, wrapping one arm around Luna.
  304. >Uh oh, she doesn't seem to be done yet.
  305. >"You two aren't even the same species!"
  306. >You sit in silence for a moment, frankly glad that one of them finally addressed the elephant in the room.
  307. "I know, Mom. I know, and I don't care."
  308. >She stares at you a bit incredulously, but you continue.
  309. "I can't tell you how many times it went through my head that something was wrong here, that there was some horrible twist to all of this. For months, I looked for it, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it never did. Now, you can face up to this, because it took me quite a while to. I'm marrying Luna with or without your blessing, so you can either choose to let go of one detail, or you can make yourself miserable worrying over us and what might go wrong."
  310. >She gulps, her breathing increasing notably in speed, and finally she plants an dust in the arm of the couch, standing quickly and storming up the stairs.
  311. >You sigh, realizing that this may take a while.
  312. "Well, that went well."
  313. >She'll stay up there for a while, trying to comprehend all these changes, and then she'll be back to normal.
  314. >You glance over at Luna worryingly, nuzzling her mane.
  315. >She's going to have quite a few tests ahead of her.
  316.  
  317. >After a few moments of awkward silence, you nudge Luna a bit, signaling her that it's time to head back upstairs.
  318. >She blinks up at you, clearly sleepy, and you pick her up gingerly.
  319. >With a single motion, you roll both arms forward, allowing her to nestle against you, supported by your forearms.
  320. >She nuzzles her head against your chest, purring softly again, and you can't help but smirk at your parents' attempts to not grin at the sheer adorableness that is Luna.
  321. >Without another word, you turn toward the stairs and step straight back up them, moving to your room and nestling Luna in bed, putting her on your side this time, as it's still warm.
  322. >She rolls once, twice, then finally settles into her little sleeping rhythm, breathing only one breath for your two, and squeaking just a bit with each exhale.
  323. >You sit and watch this for a while, thinking back on your first meeting and your mother's expression from moments ago.
  324. >The next week is going to be nothing but a test for her, one that you know your mom won't hold back on.
  325. >You extend one arm, gently running your fingers through Luna's mane and sighing.
  326. "You can do it."
  327. >She grins a bit in her sleep, and before you can draw your hand away, she rolls once again, tucking it under herself like a stuffed animal.
  328. >You take a moment to decipher your new situation, and eventually decide to step all the way over her, not moving your hand, and lay next to her, wrapping your body around her own.
  329. >Between the two of you, there's a bubble of warmth underneath the comforter as you pull it over you, wrapping your free arm around your little Princess.
  330. >Your dreams are somewhat generic for the rest of the night, nothing you've never seen before, although going through them with Luna definitely serves to make them much better.
  331. >As soon as you wake up, though, you can't help but notice that you're alone in bed.
  332. >The back side of your mind throws all gears into panic as you think of what dastardly scheme your mother has committed, but you maintain a calm façade as you make your way downstairs once again to the living room.
  333. >As soon as you enter the room, it hits you.
  334. >Eggs.
  335. >Bacon.
  336. >Biscuits.
  337. >Pepper Gravy.
  338. >The breakfast of kings, and there's a little bit of humming coming from in the kitchen, a song that only one person would know.
  339. >"Winter wrap-up, winter wrap up..."
  340. >You slide into the kitchen, Tom Cruise style in your socks, and there's Luna, flipping the eggs.
  341. >"Oh, good morning, Anon. You slept well."
  342. >She has a habit of stating that last bit instead of asking, since she's kind of the designator there.
  343. "I did. You're making breakfast."
  344. >"I am."
  345. "A human breakfast."
  346. >"Yes, and?"
  347. "How do you even know how to cook eggs?"
  348. >She smirks at you as the skillet lifts from the stove, tilting over three big plates and depositing two perfectly fried eggs on both of them.
  349. >"I may be a Princess, Anon, but I also lived on my own for a thousand years. I had plenty of time to teach myself some skills."
  350. >You shrug, your attention slowly being diverted by the scent of the ambrosia being spawned from the stove.
  351. >Luna continues to cook and hum along, switching songs with no real pattern.
  352. >Before you realize it, she's putting the last touches on the meal and drawing silverware from the drawer.
  353. >"You might want to call your family, Anon."
  354. "Right."
  355. >You slide back into the living room, cupping both hands to your mouth.
  356. "COME AND GET IT!"
  357. >It takes a few moments for your parents to come down the stairs, still a bit bleary-eyed, but they both seem pleasantly surprised at breakfast already being on the table. Your mother nods at you appreciatively, but you direct her gaze to Luna, who is just now sliding off her apron and moving in on the table with the rest of you.
  358. >Your mother's mouth scrunches a bit, but the smell of the food wins her over and she slides into a chair as you pull one out for Luna.
  359. >"Why, thank you, Anon."
  360. "My pleasure, Princess."
  361. >You wink at her playfully as she rolls her eyes.
  362. >For months she's been telling you to call her by her actual name, but seeing the little smirk when you address her by her title is worth it.
  363. "Well, let's dig in, shall we?"
  364. >The table is silent for a few moments as everyone begins to eat, but it isn't long before your mother resumes her interrogation.
  365. >"So, Luna...you have a sister, am I right?"
  366. >Luna glances up from her plate, swallowing a mouthful of biscuits and gravy before answering.
  367. >"You are. She was the one who made first contact with your President."
  368. >"So, what does she do?"
  369. >You are left dumbfounded at how thinly veiled your mother's attempts to drill for information are, but Luna is unfazed as always.
  370. >"She is the Princess of the Sun, one of Equestria's three primary rulers, alongside myself and Princess Twilight Sparkle."
  371. >Your dad almost chokes on his bacon at the last name, clearly struggling not to laugh.
  372. >"Is everything alright?"
  373. >He nods, swallowing and taking a deep breath.
  374. >"Yeah, it's just...Your people have a very interesting system of naming their children. How do you get names like that?"
  375. >Luna thinks on it for a moment, then looks back to him.
  376. >"Now that I think about it, I'm not sure anypon-anybody knows how exactly it works. Most just call it parental instinct."
  377. >You chuckle a bit at her attempt to save her pronoun.
  378. >For a week, at least, she was trying to get with English in her methods of addressing people indirectly.
  379. >Luna tilts her head at your father.
  380. >"How do your people name their children? I know Anon isn't the most common name, but I'm sure you must have some system."
  381. >Your father shakes his head.
  382. >"Nope, not really. We just wing it, go with a name we like."
  383. >Luna grins a bit and takes another bite as your father thinks on this.
  384. >While he's thinking, your mother resumes, having used her break to polish off her plate in record time.
  385. >"So, your sister is in charge of the sun in your world?"
  386. >It's strange, but you can feel a bit of hostility in her voice, and you can't find its origin.
  387. >"Yes, she is. I keep watch over the night and the dreams of all of Equestria's inhabitants. Twilight Sparkle is in charge of maintaining peace and friendship throughout the kingdom, and Princess Cadence keeps watch over the Crystal Empire to the north."
  388. >You watch as your parents slowly slip into cluelessness, and it isn't until Luna finishes speaking that she notices as well.
  389. >"Oh, of course. Allow me to clear the table, and I can make this a bit easier for you."
  390. >Just as you and your father take your last bite, the plates levitate off of the table and into the sink in the kitchen.
  391. >Luna's horn sparks, and a glowing layer of light appears on top of the dining room table, lighting it up as a topographical map of the land of Equestria.
  392. >Luna stands from the table, stretching her back and standing up on her hind legs to give your cheek a peck before stepping off into the kitchen.
  393. >"I can get the dishes washed, you two feel free to study that map. It might make some of the references a bit easier for you."
  394. >Your mother blinks for a moment, clearly conflicted, but she sighs and looks down at the map, studying it along with your father as you slide out of your chair and follow Luna.
  395. >They're already muttering as you meet her in the kitchen, standing on her hind hooves and watching as her magical aura scrubs the residual food off of the plates.
  396.  
  397. >You place your hands on her ribs, sliding them up and down her sides between her hips and the bottoms of her arms.
  398. >"So, how do you think they're coming along?"
  399. >You shake your head and immediately bury it in her mane, placing your chin on her shoulder and closing your eyes, muttering through her thick, pine-scented hair.
  400. "Don't worry about them for a few minutes. Just you and me. Need help?"
  401. >"No, I'm done."
  402. >You chuckle a little, amazed at how fast she can get these things done.
  403. "Then come here."
  404. >You place a hand on her shoulder and spin her around, taking in all of her beauty for a few seconds before bringing her in and burying your head in her mane once again as your lips meet.
  405. >The whole thing seems to take only a mere second, but by the time you draw your tongue from her muzzle, your parents are bothe standing in the kitchen door with the most awkward possible look on their faces.
  406. >pokerface.png
  407. >"You two need a room?"
  408. >You pull away reluctantly, standing beside her and keeping one hand on her head as she falls back into four legs, a massive blush coming into her face.
  409. >"No, no. My greatest apologies if we made you uncomfortable..."
  410. >Your mother opens her mouth to speak, but before she gets a chance to throw even more questions at Luna, you throw out a suggestion.
  411. "Hey, I've got an idea? Luna, have you ever been to a mall?"
  412.  
  413. >You step into the garage, flipping the lightswitch on and glancing around, taking in the musty scent that used to fill your nostrils on a daily basis.
  414. >Right in the middle of it all sits your first love, a '78 Mustang Shelby GT, still as beautiful as the day you left.
  415. "What do you think, Luna?"
  416. >She walks a quick circle around the car, looking it up and down in awe.
  417. >"It's beautiful, Anon. Much nicer than the taxi we came here in."
  418. >You laugh aloud, stepping over to the passenger side and opening a door for her.
  419. "That's because I spent three years working on this car every day. She's practically my firstborn."
  420. >Luna turns to you abruptly, one eyebrow raised.
  421. >"She?"
  422. >Whoops, more human terminology.
  423. "Sorry. Humans have a tendency to refer to vehicles and the like in the female tense. It shows a sense of bonding to whatever it is we're talking about."
  424. >She thinks on it for a moment, then nods and slides into the seat.
  425. >As the leather squeaks beneath her, she blushes.
  426. >"That wasn't me, I promise."
  427. >fortykeks.jpeg
  428. "I believe you. You're more used to a velvet seat."
  429. >You slip into the driver's seat and flip the key ring once around your finger before sliding the key into the ignition effortlessly and giving it one turn.
  430. >The V8 beast roars to life, causing Luna to cringe backward from the dash a bit until you place a hand on the back of her seat, comforting her with your grip.
  431. >You place a hand on the steering wheel, and you can swear the car senses your touch, falling into a low idle immediately.
  432. "There we go."
  433. >You pull backwards out of the garage, feeling the engine growl beneath you.
  434. >As soon as you're on the road, you tap a small series of buttons on the dash.
  435. >Luna squeaks audibly as the seat beneath her begins to warm itself, but it doesn't take long for her to adjust to the new comfort, and soon she is curled up in the seat, purring away and clearly struggling to keep her eyes open.
  436. "So, you like it?"
  437. >She blinks the fatigue of bliss from her eyes momentarily and glances up at you, nodding dreamily.
  438. >"Yeeeeesss, Anon. This is very nice."
  439. >Her head hits the seat again, and while the opportunity to watch her sleep again is definitely tempting, she should probably be awake when you arrive.
  440. >You punch the cd dial and lift the bass to 7.
  441. >UptownFunk.mp3
  442. >Luna shoots up in her seat, looking around worriedly until she realizes that the noise is coming from the speakers beside her.
  443. "Relax, Luna. This is just a larger version of that Ipod that I showed you earlier. We can both listen to it."
  444. >She takes a moment to adjust to the rhythmic bouncing, and as the first chorus rolls around you can see her nodding her head to the beat in your peripherals.
  445. >Alright, time to give her the full joyride experience.
  446. >You roll down your window, throwing your head out of it as the sound of the music disappears behind your car.
  447. "WOOOOOOOO!"
  448. >You draw yourself back in, exhilarated by the little adrenaline rush, and turn to Luna, who is very clearly confused by everything that just happened.
  449. >"Are you sure you're alright, Anon?"
  450. "Never better, Luna. Give it a try."
  451. >She glances at you skeptically, and you can't help but sigh.
  452. "Trust me, Luna. I've never steered you wrong before."
  453. >"If you insist..."
  454. >She rolls down the window by use of magic and sticks her head out of it somewhat slowly, and then it hits her.
  455. >"WOOOOHOOOOO!"
  456. >She draws herself back into the car, panting heavily for a moment before turning to you and blushing heavily.
  457. >You continue along for another ten minutes, with Luna constantly switching the radio dial and humming to any station that isn't a commercial.
  458. >By the time you find a parking spot at the mall, the possible repercussions of this excursion are weighing on you, but a quick pat of your jacket pocket and a glance at Luna's eager expression convinces you otherwise.
  459. >You slip out of the car, opening her door for her and watching as a small family passes by, their little girl gawking at the Princess of the Night.
  460. >"Mommy, look! A unicorn!"
  461. >The mother chuckles for a minute until she glances back at you and Luna, and then her eyes begin to bulge.
  462. >Luna, friendly as she is, lifts a hoof and waves, causing the girl to squeak and wave back while the mother continues to stare in awe as you pass by, strolling toward the door.
  463. >As soon as you're inside, Luna begins looking around, taking in all the details as best she could through the crowds.
  464. >"Incredible...Anon, such structures are unheard of in Equestria, with the exception of our castle. You said that all major cities have one of these?"
  465. "Well, almost all. And some have more than one. This isn't even close to being the biggest."
  466. >After a few more moments taking in the sights, Luna trots over to you and opens her mouth to ask a question.
  467. >She is interrupted, however, by a security guard, probably fifty years old, with his arms crossed and his eyes glancing angrily between you and Luna.
  468. >"No pe-"
  469. >Before he can finish the incredibly insulting sentence, you dig into your jacket and dig out a letter.
  470. >The stationery printed on the envelope alone is enough to get his attention, as it reads, 'From The Desk Of The President.'
  471. >He flips it open, perusing it quickly, and he begins to shake a bit as he hands it back to you.
  472. >"R-right, then. You have a fine day, Mr. Ambassador. You as well, Princess."
  473. "I plan on it. You too."
  474. >He nods again and steps past you, his hand already shooting down to his radio.
  475. >Without another thought of it, you step forward toward the middle of the mall, Luna trotting along next to you and attracting looks from pretty much everyone.
  476. >"So, Anon. What exactly does one do in a mall?"
  477. "I think the better question would be what you can't do in a mall. Shopping, getting your hair done, eating, or just hanging out. Pretty much whatever you want to do."
  478. >She thinks on this prospect for a moment, then turns to you again.
  479. >"I think I would like to try getting my mane styled. Dozens of Canterlot stylists have worked with it, but the manes of Celestia and myself are apparently a bit singleminded in how they choose to flow. Perhaps your Earth stylists can do a bit more."
  480. >Fair enough. She's gonna get the best, then.
  481. >You take her across a quarter section of the mall to the salon, probably the best in town, truth be told.
  482. >Your mom has told stories of the ladies that worked here, how they'd shown such skill with hair as to be called on more than once to work at national beauty pageants.
  483. As soon as you enter, Luna rushes to the front desk, hopping up on two legs and looking the receptionist right in the eye.
  484. >Said receptionist does the natural thing and leans back, not yelling at all, but not squeaking in her throat.
  485. >You rush to catch up, placing your own hands on the counter as well.
  486. >"May I...help you?"
  487. "Absolutely, ma'am. My fiancé here would like the best you've got, the full nine yards."
  488. >She glances uneasily at Luna for a moment, then her eyes light up.
  489. >"Oh! Are you that ambassador guy?"
  490. >sigh.wav
  491. "I am."
  492. >"Oh, of course! No problem, come on back, Princess."
  493. >Luna glances from you to her, then shrugs and follows the receptionist back to a chair.
  494. >"They'll be with you momentarily."
  495. >After a minute or two, two sixty year old ladies step from behind a curtain in the back, take one glance at Luna, then turn to the receptionist.
  496. >After a quick silent conversation, they finally understand, and immediately turn to Luna.
  497. >"Alrighty, then. What can we do for you, sugar?"
  498. >Luna flips a bit of her mane back from her face before speaking.
  499. >"I've had this constantly floating around my face for a thousand years. I'd like to see what you could do with it."
  500. >They nod wordlessly, and Luna turns to you, her horn sparking once.
  501. >The curtain between the reception area and the main room draws closed, leaving you anxious as you take a seat in one of the ten pleather chairs against the opposite wall.
  502. >For what seems like literally days you wait, listening as buzzers and scissors preform their nefarious duties beyond your view.
  503. >Two other customers come and go, both making appointments for later rather than bother with whatever was going on back there, and as the second one leaves you decide that you can't take it anymore.
  504. >Just as you stand from your chair, the curtains fly open, revealing both of the old ladies.
  505. >They grin, nodding once and speaking in unison as if they'd trained for this for years.
  506. >"Presenting...Princess Luna."
  507. >They step aside like a second set of curtains.
  508. >jawdrop.exe
  509. >Not an hour ago, you could have placed everything you owned on the prospect that you were engaged to the most beautiful creature on the physical plane.
  510. >You would now bet everything you own, as well as the possessions of your family and friends, because there is no doubt.
  511. >She had them give her a bob cut, leaving her mane just above her eyes.
  512. >She slowly raises her stare from the ground, directing it to you, and immediately falls into an adorable blush.
  513. >"Do...do you like it?"
  514. >You step forward, sweeping her up in your arms and giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
  515. "I love it. Absolutely perfect."
  516. >She returns your kiss and you set her weight on your hips.
  517. "And I mean everything beneath the haircut, too."
  518. >You both step out of the salon after leaving a payment off of the government credit card given to you alongside the exemption notice that had terrified the security guard.
  519. >"So, what should we do now, Anon?"
  520. "Your choice. This is your first time at a mall."
  521. >She turns a circle, and suddenly her nose perks up.
  522. >"What is that smell?"
  523. >For a second you think she's smelling the food court, which terrifies you a bit, but then the sweet scent hits you as well, and you remember.
  524. "Right, come on. Can't have a mall trip without a Great American Cookie."
  525. >You round the corner, Luna at your heels, and as soon as she sees the counterfull of cookies, she gasps.
  526. "What kind would you like?"
  527. >She makes no sound, but simply gestures at the double chocolate chip.
  528. "Fine choice. Excuse me, can I get two double chocs and a Coke?"
  529. >Within a minute, your order is filled, and you take a seat at one of the little table in the middle of the huge hall.
  530. >Luna, rather than bite directly into her treat, takes her time, nibbling and nomming on it, grinning almost insensibly.
  531. >"This is incredible, Anon. Almost everyone in Equestria would consider this a paradise beyond measure."
  532. >You grin, taking a quick sip of the soda and sliding it across to her.
  533. >"What is this?"
  534. "It's a drink called Coca-cola. Most of the time we call it Coke. Try some."
  535. >She places her mouth on the straw and you wait for a moment until her eyes pop a bit and she draws her head back, swallowing with some difficulty.
  536. "You like it?"
  537. >She coughs once, then takes a breath.
  538. >"Do all humans drink this Coke?"
  539. "A pretty decent number of us. Around here, you'd be hard pressed to find someone that doesn't drink Coke or something like it."
  540. >She wipes her mouth and begins eating a bit faster, clearly excited about learning more.
  541. >You notice her eying the group of stores nearest you, the American Eagle, Spencer's, and GameStop.
  542. >Hopefully she'll allow you a bit of sway in what she sees just yet...
  543. >As she finishes her cookie, you toss your trash into the nearest can and stand, looking around for something she might actually enjoy.
  544. >The movie theater was all the way down the walkway, and it looked like there was a blood drive in front of it.
  545. >On your other side, the Build-A-Bear shop and a group of bookstores.
  546. "Ideas, Luna?"
  547. >"What do they mean by building a bear?"
  548. "Oh...well, you wanna go see?"
  549. >Before even responding, she trots off toward the store, leaving you to follow this time.
  550. >By the time you catch up to her, she's being ogled once again by a group of young girls and their parents.
  551. >She doesn't seem to notice, however, and immediately starts looking around, checking each corner thoroughly.
  552. >"I'm assuming that the sign was referred to stuffed bears, Anon?"
  553. >You let a small chuckle slip through.
  554. "That'd be correct, Luna."
  555. >Your reply is lost on her, however, as she seems to be staring at a single point on a shelf just out of your view.
  556. "Everything alright, Luna?"
  557. >You step around to see what she's seeing, and then it hits you.
  558. >The plush looks exactly like her.
  559. >"Is there something I should know, Anon?"
  560. "Not really. There seem to be a lot of weird parallels between Earth and Equestria, and I think that there's a television show that mirrors Equestria rather well."
  561. >She thinks on this for a second, then shrugs and grabs up the Celestia plush.
  562. >"This will certainly put my sister off when we get home."
  563. >As she steps forward to the counter, you take a deep breath.
  564. >Bullet successfully dodged.
  565. >You follow her, surprised at the lack of strange looks she's attracting from the staff.
  566. >That guard must have told almost everyone working in the mall by now.
  567. >After a quick swipe, you have a small parcel hanging from your right arm.
  568.  
  569. >For the next half hour, you work at steering Luna toward the west end of the mall.
  570. >You have to practically drag her past groups of fashion and book stores.
  571. >Finally, there is only one obstacle left.
  572. >The food court.
  573. "Luna, you might want to hold your nose."
  574. >She looks up at you curiously.
  575. "It's going to smell like cooking meat going through here."
  576. >She takes a deep breath, then sets her eyes forward.
  577. >"I can handle it."
  578. "You sure?"
  579. >Without a reply, she steps into the huge room, with you following close behind.
  580. >She takes three steps before you see her cheeks puff out a bit, and you rush forward, picking her up under one arm and jogging toward the opposite side of the area.
  581. >Halfway there, you glance down and notice that she's definitely looking a bit green.
  582. >You spin around a sample vendor and skid to a halt next to a water fountain, slamming the button with your hip and holding Luna just over the stream of water.
  583. >She sips for a moment before fluttering herself out of your grip.
  584. "You alright?"
  585. >"Either answer would be debatable. Meat has a much stronger smell than eggs."
  586. "Preaching to the choir. Call me a savage, but that place smells amazing."
  587. >She gives you a look that seems to be a hybrid between surprise and disgust.
  588. "Relax, it's not like I relapsed in Equestria or anything. Anyway, you up to a bit more walking?"
  589. >"I suppose. What did we go all the way across that dreadful place for?"
  590. >You gesture behind her, and she gasps a bit as she turns to look at the massive Macy's.
  591. >As you walk into the store, the first thing you do is point out a group of early-release summer clothes to Luna.
  592. >She trots over to look at them, leaving you to rush over to customer service, whopping a hand into your back pocket and withdrawing another slip of paper as you reach the desk.
  593. "Excuse me, ma'am...I believe there should be two things here for me."
  594. >She glances at the paper, nodding.
  595. >"Yeah, we got a lot of questions around the whole store. Apparently the President himself received a letter about this, something about foreign relations with that new world they found. Anyway, here you go. The measurements wet a bit weird, but we got it in this morning."
  596. >She lays two bags on the counter, which you eagerly pick up and thank her for before turning around.
  597. >You make a beeline for Luna, who has somehow found her way into the swimwear section and is trying unsuccessfully to slip into a pair of black swimming trunks.
  598. "Ahem."
  599. >She glances up at you and squeaks, tossing the shorts to the side haphazardly as if to fool you.
  600. "Try this on for size. In there."
  601. >You point to one of the dressing rooms in the back and she walks off, leaving you to enter the room adjacent to her.
  602. >As quickly as possible, you slide out of your flannel Henley and khakis into a freshly starched, crisply pressed Armani suit.
  603. >You're not married yet, but it's already good to be the king.
  604. >You step out of the dressing room, taking a deep breath, and losing every ounce of air in your lungs once again as Luna's door swings open.
  605. >There she is, dressed in a dark blue velvet dress, hugging her stomach and accenting her coat perfectly.
  606. >Dhe grins at you sheepishly until she realizes that you're just blatantly staring.
  607. >"What's wrong, never seen a mare before?"
  608. "I thought I had."
  609. >The response takes her by surprise, leaving you with the upper hand momentarily.
  610. "The real question is whether you want to take that dress for a test run."
  611. >"What did you have in mind?"
  612. >Since you're already on the west side of the mall, you decide to exit from the Macy's and into the street.
  613. >Just across the street, your favorite club still stands, a three hour line out the door.
  614. >The massive doorman, having known you and your new assignment as Equestrian ambassador, steps aside and allows you in immediately.
  615. >Once inside, you immediately hear http://youtu.be/qpgTC9MDx1o, and shake your head.
  616. >It's a dance club, no doubt, but you won't have Luna uncomfortable trying to deal with music that's strange to her.
  617. >You lift her onto a barstool and indicate for her wait for a moment before stepping to the very back, right into the DJ booth.
  618. >He shakes his head as you whisper your song choice into his ear, but a mixture of the solid gold Bits of Equestria and a few Franklins rapidly gets his head moving more vertically.
  619. >As you step back to the bar, Luna is absentmindedly spinning a drink umbrella under one hoof.
  620. >You silently lift one of her hooves as the former music stops, and move her to the center of the floor, standing her up and placing her back hooves on top of your feet and her right hoof in your left hand, feeling her frog press against your palm.
  621. >Your right hand rests on her ribs, as her hips are a bit too low to reach without being awkward, and her left hoof finds purchase wrapped around your back as the song begins to play.
  622. >The floor seems to clear around you as you begin to spin her to the music.
  623. http://youtu.be/YyknBTm_YyM
  624. >With every sweep of the melody, you lift her from the ground just a bit.
  625. >As it takes a more steady tone, you step back and forth to every other beat, allowing her only enough time to keep up as she finally catches on and gets with the rhythm herself, a wide smile spreading across her face.
  626. >Once the music begins devolving into chaos, you take her over one shoulder, spinning about for a moment before dipping her all the way under your legs and pulling her straight back, releasing her hooves and backing into the darkness as the song slows.
  627. >For a moment she loses her bearings, glancing around for you until you reappear, trying your best to look dark and sultry.
  628. >She rushes into your arms, spinning about for a moment before coming to a halt with the song.
  629. >You retrace your steps back to the center of the floor, giving her a quick peck on the lips before lifting her completely and stepping over to a nearby table and hopping onto it as the music reaches its climax.
  630. >You step like mad, keeping in constant motion equal to hers as the violins blare like mad, panting now to keep up with her until it comes to its sudden halt.
  631. >With the last minor chords, you pull her in, taking a long, soft kiss and lifting her in your arms, hopping off the table as the song finally ends completely.
  632. >You take a few moments to sit at the bar, catching your breath for a moment before turning to Luna, one eyebrow raised.
  633. "How was that for a dance?"
  634. >She nods, clearly exhilarated, and stands from her barstool.
  635. "Where are you off too?"
  636. >"Well, have you seen everything they have in here? I don't even know what this thing is!"
  637. >She rushes over to the old claw machine in the corner, propping her hooves up on it and looking in at all the plush dolls.
  638. "It's a crane game. Most people think they're impossible to win, but I trained with the best. Wanna see?"
  639. >She nods eagerly, and you fish a quarter from your pocket and slip it into the machine.
  640. >It whirs to life, and you start toward the middle of the field, dropping the claw almost immediately.
  641. >It dips into the mountain of dolls, looking hopeless, but as it pulls up, two little eggs with faces in them are pressed against one another within the claw.
  642. >They fall through into the prize slot, and Luna grabs them from within and holds them up.
  643. >"They're adorable!"
  644. "Keep 'em. I can't remember the last time I had a stuffed animal."
  645. >She tucks the little eggs under her wings, and immediately her eyes light up again, this time looking at the pool tables.
  646. >You let out a little sigh as you follow her over.
  647. >This might be a long night, but it'll be worth it.
  648.  
  649. >You're a bit wary as you approach the pool table.
  650. >It's surrounded by a group of surly-looking individuals who look like they either need a hug or a solid punch to the jaw.
  651. >"So, how is this game played, Anon?"
  652. >You lift a cue from the rack and step over to an empty table in the corner, slipping two quarters into the side and racking as quickly as possible, trying not to look like a complete idiot as you do so.
  653. >You notice the group eying you and Luna, but until they make a move, there's nothing you can do.
  654. "Alright, so what you want to do is use your cue like so..."
  655. >You take aim at the head of table, giving the cue ball a solid smack and breaking across the back half of the table.
  656. "The idea is to sink as many balls from your pattern as possible. Whoever gets one first gets that pattern."
  657. >Well, here they come.
  658. >Three representatives from the other table step over to the edge of your table, and it's clear to see a wad of cash in the leader's hand.
  659. >"That was a fine break there, friend. You've obviously got some skill. Wanna put anything on it?"
  660. >Before you get the opportunity to reply, Luna's eyes light up and she glances at you.
  661. >"A wager? Definitely! What are you placing on it?"
  662. >You look down at her in shocked silence.
  663. "Ahem, Luna..."
  664. >"I'll say...a hundred dollars to the winner."
  665. >You blanch for a moment.
  666. >"Come on, now. A nice suit like that, you're obviously carrying some scratch with you."
  667. >Fair enough, and you can't disappoint Luna...
  668. "Alright, I'm in. Rack 'em.".
  669. >As soon as your cue meets the ball, you feel the worst possible outcome.
  670. >It slips.
  671.  
  672. Power Gap
  673.  
  674. >You sit at one end of the table, dejected and completely blown away.
  675. >You got perhaps half of your balls in before he took you for a spin, relieving you of a Franklin.
  676. >"Well, that was a fine try, friend. Just bad luck, I suppose. Wanna go for another?"
  677. >You shake your head, holding up your hands in surrender.
  678. >Luna, on the other hand, props her hooves up on the table, leaving her solid silver hoof guards on display.
  679. >"Wait just a minute! I think I've gotten a decent understanding of this game. I'd like to try you for another wager."
  680. >Whilst blatantly ogling Luna's hoof guards, the man chuckles.
  681. >"Would you now? And what exactly would you wager?"
  682. >"I'll put all four of my hoof guards on wager. If I understand your money correctly, they're worth around four hundred American Dollars."
  683. >The man nods, digging into his pocket and removing placing four hundreds at the head of the table.
  684. >As he looks back, Luna is shaking her head.
  685. >"Each."
  686. >He glances at his comrades, grinning knowingly.
  687. >Without hesitation, he slaps down twelve more, lifting his cue and chalking the tip.
  688. >"Now, yours?"
  689. >Luna removes her four hoof guards and places them next to the $1600.
  690. >As soon as she puts them down, her horn sparks and a cue levitates over to her.
  691. >She flashes you a quick wink, and suddenly everything gets clearer.
  692. >"Now, let's play for real, shall we?"
  693. >Luna steps to the head of the table, lining up her break shot and firing almost immediately.
  694. >Balls scatter across the table like glass from a shattered window, sinking the 1 and 5 balls.
  695. >You watch the gang's faces turn from confidence, to confusion, to panic, to anger as Luna keeps pressing the run.
  696. >For seven shots, she never misses, sinking ball after ball in a nearly mechanical manner.
  697. >Finally, she's left with nothing but the 8 ball.
  698. >It's trapped in a group of stripes, and there seems to be no way of removing it without fouling and losing the game on technicalities.
  699. >Once again, you've underestimated her.
  700. >She lifts the back end of her cue and takes a careful shot, causing the cue ball to spin across the table, bouncing haphazardly off the other balls in the way and twirling right into the 8 ball.
  701. >She replaces her cue casually as the little black ball falls into the corner pocket.
  702. >As she lifts the $1600 and places it in your pocket, she gives you a quick smirk.
  703. >"Come now, Anonymous. Equestria is at least developed enough to have discovered the wonderful game of billiards."
  704. >She steps back into her hoof guards, leaving you speechless until the gang on the other side of the table voices your thoughts.
  705. >"She hustled us! That little-"
  706. >Despite your lack of any professional fighting knowledge, a protective instinct kicks in somewhere in your mind, and your cue seems to leap from its spot and find its tip at the man's throat.
  707. "Be very careful what that next word is, friend.
  708. >A few members of the group begin tapping their hips, and Luna taps yours.
  709. >"Anon, I know how you love a good showdown, but I'd rather not have you bruised up on our big day."
  710. >She raises a fair point, and after noticing how much heat you were up against, you decide to take the wise route and leave.
  711. >You rush back out to the car, taking in the chilly night air as you do.
  712. >Just now it begins to hit you with how tired you are.
  713. >As you slide into the car, Luna looks at you excitedly.
  714. >"Well, that was certainly an experience."
  715. "That it was..."
  716. >You slip the key into the ignition, and as the car growls to life, the clock on the radio alerts you that it is somehow almost midnight.
  717. "How long were we in there?!"
  718. >Your parents are almost guaranteed to be asleep by now.
  719. >You lean back against the seat, glancing to the side.
  720. >As you look out over the skyline, an idea strikes you.
  721. >You throw the car into gear, and with a few quick motions, you're on the road again.
  722. >"Where are we going now, Anon?"
  723. "It's a surprise."
  724.  
  725. POWER GAP
  726.  
  727. >It takes longer than expected, but at 12:12 exactly, you pull up in front of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.
  728. >Luna steps from the car as the valet opens her door, gazing in awe at the huge structure.
  729. >"Absolutely incredible..."
  730. >You guide her inside, stepping to the front desk and reaching into your pocket.
  731. "Penthouse suite, please."
  732. >The girl at the desk raises an eyebrow, but at seeing the sixteen hundreds on the desk, her expression turns to normal quickly.
  733. >"Of course."
  734. >She places a key in your hand and gestures to an elevator in the corner of the lobby.
  735. >You almost have to drag Luna along, she's so focused on the rest of the room.
  736. >Once the doors of the elevator close, you press a knuckle to the 'P' button, and the car starts upward.
  737. >When you reach the top, the doors slide open, revealing a single small hall with a door at the end.
  738. >You step forward, sliding the key easily into the lock and throwing the door open.
  739. >Luna simply stands there in shock and awe, her mouth gaping open.
  740. >You step to the middle of the room, sweeping your arms around as Luna gazes in awe across the skyline.
  741. >You watch a tear fall down her face as you pop the cork on the champagne bottle that had been chilled on the table.
  742. "Nice?"
  743. >"It...it's gorgeous. Anon, it's absolutely beautiful."
  744. >You step over next to her, extending your arm with a glass of champagne in your hand.
  745. "I agree. I'd say the only place you could find a better view would be a mirror."
  746. >She glances over at you, a smile in her eyes.
  747. >"What could I have done to deserve this?"
  748. >You are silent as you sip on your champagne, stepping back and draping your suit shirt and jacket over a chair.
  749. "I knew you'd love the view. Whenever you're ready, come on to bed. I'm a bit beat, but I'm always up for a dream."
  750. >You slip out of the pants and into the bed, your eyes closing almost immediately as you feel the puffy comforter settle over you.
  751. >You're not sure how long it takes, but after what seems like just a few seconds, a presence nestles itself on your chest, and a bit of purring starts up on your ribs.
  752. >This goes on for about a minute before Luna's breath catches, and she finally speaks.
  753. >"I'm yours if you want me."
  754. >A strange knot forms in your stomach.
  755. >A year ago, you'd have never stayed in a relationship this long if you couldn't get any.
  756. >But now...something's different.
  757. >Despite all the urges, all the wants, you can't bring yourself to it.
  758. "Not yet. We've got a week left. I can wait."
  759. >You feel her move, and when you open your eyes just a bit, she plants a kiss on your lips.
  760. >As she pulls back, she runs one hoof through your hair.
  761. >"You're a fine man, Anon. For that, you'll always have a blessing on your dreams.
  762. >She closes her eyes, draping a hoof over yours to close them again, and begins to sing.
  763. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=94h2L9oBOHM
  764. As you wake up the next morning, your mind refuses to open your eyes.
  765. >It takes almost fifteen minutes to finally open your eyes and sit up, by your estimation.
  766. >Luckily for you, Luna is still next to you this time.
  767. >You lean over her, planting a kiss on the back of her ear and running a hand through her mane.
  768. "Good morning, Nightlight."
  769. >She rolls over, one eye popping open.
  770. >She sticks her tongue out at you for a few seconds and rolls back over, a playful grin on her face.
  771. >Well, two can play at that game.
  772. >You take the end of her mane in two fingers and begin to wiggle the end right on her nose, causing her to scrunch up and wiggle her nose like a rabbit.
  773. >The little grin continues to grow until she begins to breathe a bit shakily, and finally she bursts out with a sneeze.
  774. >Her sneezes are adorable, barely audible and coming in quick succession for almost twenty seconds.
  775. >You lay back and giggle despite the dirty look she's shooting you.
  776. >As her fit finally subsides, she lays back with you and rolls over to face you, pushing you in the shoulder with one hoof.
  777. >"That was cheating."
  778. "Turnabout is fair play. It would have been cheating if I used my own hands. Like this."
  779. >You take two fingers and press them gently to the tip of her nose, pressing with mere ounces of pressure.
  780. "Boop."
  781. >Her eyes cross a bit from trying to look at your fingers, and finally she looks back up at you, an adorable scowl on her face.
  782. >"I would remind you, Anon, that I am the Princess of the Night."
  783. "You waived the authority to call rank when you said you'd marry me. Besides, don't act like you don't love these."
  784. >You waggle your fingers for a few moments before grabbing Luna under one shoulder and flipping her over on her back, plunging your digits down and tickling her stomach.
  785. >She bursts into laughter, trying to push your hands away.
  786. >After a minute or two you let up on her, falling back into a sitting position beside her as she catches her breath.
  787. "See, that was cheating."
  788. >She pants for a moment, sitting up and walking over to you, her movement impeded a bit by the puffy mattress.
  789. >"Do we really have to go anywhere? Can't we just lay here today?"
  790. >You take the whole thing into consideration.
  791. >Admittedly, spending an entire day cuddling with the Princess fulfills more or less every definition of heaven you could conjure up.
  792. >Then again, you aren't quite sure exactly how many rubles it'll run you, considering you were more than frivolous last night.
  793. "Tell you what, you stay here and make a warm spot in the bed. I've got two calls to make, and then I'll be back."
  794. >She sighs, rolling up in the spot you just left and watching wistfully as you slide out of the bed, stretching wearily.
  795. >It takes a few moments to find the phone, but as soon as you do you dial up the front desk.
  796. >After a three minute conversation with the front desk and a little bit of reading from the notice in your jacket pocket, you're able to convince them to send a fully loaded breakfast up as well as allow you to stay until 8 PM.
  797. "Thank you, Uncle Sam."
  798. >The next call is to your parents, and thankfully it's your father that answers the phone.
  799. "Hey, Dad. I was just calling to let you guys know, we're not going to be back until about ten tonight."
  800. >"Okay. Have fun."
  801. >Click.
  802. >You hang the phone up carefully, almost a bit concerned now.
  803. >Your dad hates talking on the phone, sure, but even he isn't that bad.
  804. >For a moment you consider leaving to check on him, but then you see Luna still curled up on the bed, her eyelids halfway down already.
  805. >Your dad's got four guns at the house, he's fine.
  806.  
  807. >You leap into bed beside Luna, wrapping yourself around her and ending up as the big spoon.
  808. "We've got breakfast on the way, then the room for ourselves until tonight."
  809. >She sighs contentedly, twisting her head around just enough to look you in one eye.
  810. >"Anon, I know you're the one who always worries about me, but..."
  811. >You scoot in a little closer, wrapping your arm around her and pulling her in close enough to feel her heartbeat against your own.
  812. "What's on your mind?"
  813. >"She pulls away, despite your efforts, and sits up to face you.
  814. >"Anon, is this really what you want? I know that you love me, that much I can tell. But...do you really want to leave all of this? I've only seen a fraction of your Earth, and it's absolutely a paradise. I would never leave if I had the option, and I'm asking you to just to be with me. I don't want to keep you from whatever life you might want here."
  815. >You chuckle a bit, shaking your head.
  816. "You're truly adorable, Luna. Don't get me wrong, leaving wasn't the easiest choice I ever made, but I'd make a thousand times again, and I wouldn't change a thing. Besides, it isn't like I'm that far from home. A one day train ride and a run through the city is the distance most people live from their parents here."
  817. >She steps in close to you, burying her head in your hand, taking a few moments before she begins to sob.
  818. "What's wrong?!"
  819. >Without speaking, she leaps into you, plowing you backward into the mattress and pressing herself into your neck.
  820. >"Anon...I'm scared. I don't know how long I'll live, and I don't want to live without you!"
  821. >You blink in shock, and slowly wrap your arms around her.
  822. >For as long as you'd been an item, you'd been thinking about how this would work.
  823. >You sit in silence for a moment, trying to think of something to say to comfort her.
  824. >When nothing comes, you simply pull her closer, hugging her as tight as you can.
  825. >You lay beside Luna, waiting until breakfast comes up and simply pressing yourself against her, muffling her sobs against your chest.
  826. >To her, it must seem like you've go some terminal illness or something, to have such a short lifespan by comparison to her own.
  827. >Nothing you could say would ever comfort her, not now, and so you are forced to remain silent, despite the ever growing urge to help her somehow.
  828. >Finally, after the longest fifteen minutes of your life, room service arrives with a massive roller tray of food of every variety.
  829. >Without a word, they place it beside your bed and retreat from the room after a single look at Luna.
  830. >You elect to wait on the food for a few moments longer, and sure enough, Luna begins to peter out, running out of tears.
  831. >You place a hand beneath her chin, moving her head up lightly to look at you.
  832. "You okay?"
  833. >She takes a deep breath and nods slowly, gulping before she speaks.
  834. >"F-for now. Just...don't go anywhere, Anon. I want to enjoy the time."
  835. >You move your hand to the back of her head, pulling her in and planting a kiss on her forehead.
  836. "Trust me, Luna. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Now, how about some breakfast?"
  837. >She nods, a light smile starting to appear on her lips, and you lift the spatula on the side of the tray to begin filling your plates.
  838. >As Luna nibbles at her pancakes, you scoot over next to her, nudging her with your elbow.
  839. "Hey Luna."
  840. >She glances over at you, clearly knowing exactly what you're trying to do.
  841. >"Yes, Anon?"
  842. "I'm gonna be a Prince this time next week."
  843. >She narrows her eyes at you, then the ghost of a grin parts her lips.
  844. >"You know, Anon...why is it that after six months, your maddeningly simple humor still gets me every time?"
  845. >You sit back, munching on a piece of toast with smirk on your face.
  846. "Secret of the trade, Princess."
  847. >She rolls her eyes, polishing off the pancake she's working on.
  848. >Slowly, you'll bring her back from that regrettable state earlier.
  849. >Even if you don't live forever, you'll give her enough memories to last her own lifetime, and you won't have them being sad memories.
  850. >As you finish up the last of your breakfast, you lean back against the headboard and glance over at Luna.
  851. >She still looks a bit uneasy, but you've got an idea for that.
  852. "You wanna play a game?"
  853. >She turns to you, raising an eyebrow.
  854. >"Now? What kind of game?"
  855. "You name something you want me to tell you about Earth, and after I tell you, you have to tell me something I want to hear about Equestria."
  856. >She considers the idea for a moment, then nods, crawling over to your side of the bed.
  857. "You start."
  858. >She thinks silently for a moment, then turns her head to you.
  859. >"Tell me about someone good from Earth."
  860. >You blink for a moment.
  861. >A pang of depression hits you as you realize how few people come to mind, but with a few moments' probing into your mind, a well opens up.
  862. "Well, there was a man named Abraham Lincoln about a hundred and thirty years ago. He spent his whole life trying to hold his people together, and he led our country through the most deadly war in our history. To this day, most people think he was the greatest leader we ever had."
  863. >She smiles, looking up at you.
  864. >"What happened to him?"
  865. >You gulp, then take a deep breath.
  866. >"A psychopath shot him in a theater. He didn't make it."
  867. >You silently berate yourself for your lack of forethought, but it's too late.
  868. >Luna sighs, pressing herself up into the pillows.
  869. "Don't go anywhere, it's my turn. Tell me about...a famous criminal from your world."
  870. >She glances at you curiously, then shrugs.
  871. >"Well, let's see...There was Blazing Saddle, but I wouldn't really call him a criminal since he became a sheriff. Mad points to those who caught it. I would say probably the only criminal I was ever interested in at all was Golden Pipes."
  872. "Golden Pipes? Sounds like a plumber."
  873. >"Not in the slightest. He was a pegasus, but he had a magic about him that made anyone helpless."
  874. >"He could sing, and the entire world would melt. His voice would cradle any that heard it, placing them in a state of perfect bliss. Unfortunately, he would use it only to steal things, at least until he met a mare he loved more even then his money. He was never heard from again, but it is assumed that he found happiness somewhere beyond Equestria."
  875. >She sighs, closing her eyes for a few seconds.
  876. >"Would you sing to me, Anon? Surely Earth has its own beautiful music."
  877. >You blanch for a moment, then you nod, lifting your phone and bringing up the guitar for a particular song.
  878. "Think of it what you will, it's one of our best."
  879. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHFxncb1gRY
  880. >As you come to a stop at the end of the music, Luna's eyes shoot open, a look near panic on her face.
  881. "What's wrong? Was I out of tune?"
  882. >"No, no...The song can't be over. It's been a thousand years since I heard singing like that."
  883. >You blink, realizing that she actually had enjoyed it.
  884. >"Anon...Anon, please sing to me some more. Everything gets better with music."
  885. >Fair enough.
  886. >As you wind down after the fifth song, you notice your breathing getting a bit heavier.
  887. >You open your eyes and notice Luna laying on your stomach, which is probably why.
  888. >She's half-asleep and purring like an engine, which makes it all the more annoying when the room's phone rings.
  889. >She snaps awake, looking around in a mild panic until she realizes what it is.
  890. >She slides off of you and you reach across the massive bed to grab the phone.
  891. >You hold it out away from your ear as a voice booms from the phone.
  892. >"EYYYY ANON!"
  893. "Suom. How's it going?"
  894. >Suom was your oldest friend, albeit a bit annoying over the phone.
  895. >You knew exactly what he was calling about.
  896. >"So where you been, my man? We been looking for you since you skipped the last strut night. And how in the hell are you in a room at the Big W?"
  897. "You heard about that portal on the news?"
  898. >"Yeah."
  899. "I'm the guy they sent in."
  900. >"For real? Naw, man. Wait, hol' up. You suit up, meet me at the Prism. I'ma get the squad together. You do still have the Suit, right?"
  901. >Woo, boy.
  902. "Yeah, but I don't think I can make it. I'm here with my-"
  903. >Luna holds up a hoof, signaling you to go with whatever plans are introduced.
  904. >After a very brief silent conversation, you nod and sigh.
  905. "Alright, Suom. I'll see you at five."
  906. >Click.
  907. >You turn to Luna, who is clearly quite curious.
  908. "We've got a few stops to make, if you're sure you want to go through with this."
  909. >"Like what?"
  910. "We'll have to get you a new dress, and then we'll have to stop at...the cleaners."
  911. >"Is there a specific reason you decided to insert a dramatic pause there?"
  912. "This is something unique, Luna. This is a practice that usually only myself and the squad do."
  913. >"The 'squad'?"
  914. "Yeah, my group of people. We refer to it as 'suiting'. I used to be the champion, so I'd appreciate it if you'd allow a bit of slack when you see how it's done."
  915. >As you slide into the car alongside Luna, you sigh.
  916. "Oh, no. Could I be any more of an idiot?"
  917. >"What's wrong?"
  918. >You lean your head on the steering wheel as you voice your issues.
  919. "Your dress. There's no way any other stores are going to stock dresses in your style, and certainly not small enough."
  920. >She places a hoof to her chin, and after a minute of thinking she turns to you again.
  921. >"Are there any dressmakers in town that you know of?"
  922. "Only one. That's why I'm losing my mind over here. I'll have to drop you off at my parents' place so that my mom can get your measurements and make you a dress. If I floor it, she'll have it done by 4."
  923. >You throw the car into gear, and as you pull out off the hotel parking lot she asks the question that you were expecting.
  924. >"So what about those cleaners you were talking about?"
  925. >You purse your lips, sighing before you speak.
  926. "The cleaners are exactly what they sound like. It's an old dry cleaners on the outskirts of town. Their gimmick is that they'll hold onto your clothes as long as you want after you drop them off. The whole squad leaves their suit gear there every year. It's tradition."
  927. >Luna chuckles a bit, a chuckle that develops into a full blown laugh after a few seconds.
  928. >"Oh, I don't suppose I have any reason to laugh. Celestia and I attend the most boring party in Equestria. I suppose it's just interesting hearing about how others do it."
  929. >You feel an unwarranted dread as you pull into your parents' driveway.
  930. >Into the fire again.
  931. >You step into the house, glancing from side to side in dread.
  932. >"Oh, there you are! I thought you said you wouldn't be home until tonight."
  933. >You turn around and glance upward toward hit he stairs, shielding your eyes immediately as you realize that you see your mother in nothing but a bath robe, standing above you.
  934. "Gaahaah...Mom, put something on!"
  935. >"Sorry, didn't think you'd be here. So, you look like you're here for something."
  936. "How could you possibly...Screw it. Yes, I'm here to request something. Suom called up."
  937. >She nods once, her face blank and merely acknowledging your statement.
  938. "Luna needs a dress to head out in."
  939. >"And you were thinking I could do it."
  940. "Yes, mom, I was. What's your price?"
  941. >She places a hand to her chin and smirks.
  942. >"What about this...you have to have the honeymoon here on Earth."
  943. >Your jaw drops in shock.
  944. "You cannot possibly be serious. No, a thousand times no. And you know what?"
  945. >Your fists clench in rage as you turn around, but before you can take a step, you feel a hand on your shoulder.
  946. >Your mom spins you around, grinning softly.
  947. >"Hold on a second, Scooter. Walk with me for a moment."
  948. >Your breathing slows down a bit as she leads you through the hall and into the kitchen, with Luna still sitting in the middle of the living room floor.
  949. >She stops against the counter, one eyebrow raised at you.
  950. >"Now tell me something, Anon. How much of a bitch do you take me for?"
  951. >Considering the request she just made, you respond with the raise of an eyebrow.
  952. >"I was asking to see how you'd react. I want to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is as important for you as it should be."
  953. >A test.
  954. >It makes sense, knowing your mother.
  955. "So I'm assuming, because you are neither insane nor pure evil, that you don't plan on forcing me to take my honeymoon here."
  956. >"You're correct. I'll make the dress, but you will do me one favor.
  957. "What is it for real?"
  958. >"You'll keep her happy."
  959.  
  960. >You blink in surprise, but the expression turns to a smile rather quickly.
  961. "Really. After all you've said and done, you're finally on her side."
  962. >"Not in the slightest. But what I do know is that you love her, and I won't have you failing with the one girl you've chosen. Go on, get your suit. I'll get her hooked up."
  963. >The smile grows wider on your face, and you spin around, practically skipping out of the room.
  964. >As you get back to the living room, you bend down to plant a happy kiss on Luna's lips.
  965. "I'll be back in a few hours. Mom will hook you up."
  966. >She glances at you, clearly surprised.
  967. >"The honeymoon?"
  968. "Not a problem."
  969. >You flash her a quick grin, a nod, and with that, you're off.
  970. >You shimmy into the car seat again, blasting out of the driveway much faster now.
  971. >The world seems to blur as you lay a course for the cleaners.
  972. >In what seems like a few small minutes, but is actually over half an hour, you reach the parking lot and swing the Mustang into the closest spot to the entrance.
  973. >Not a difficult task, since the whole place is empty.
  974. >Without bothering to shut off the car, you jog inside, digging your wallet from your pocket as you go.
  975. >The bell sings as you shove the rust-spotted door inward, triggering a response from the back of the shop.
  976. >"Alright, who do we have here?"
  977. >As John Yong steps toward the desk, his face lights up.
  978. >"Oh, look what the cat dragged in! Anon, it's been too long!"
  979. >You reach across the counter, grabbing his outstretched hand and pulling him in for a bro hug.
  980. "How you been, man?"
  981. >"I've been just fine. I hear you were put on that job about the horses."
  982. "Ponies, man. And yeah, I actually just got back. I'm here for a week on leave before I get in it again. Thing is, Suom called up."
  983. >He places his hands on the counter, his grin turning to a knowing smile.
  984. >"You need the Suit. Do you have the ticket?"
  985. >You dig into the wallet that's already in your hand and flip through the cards, cash, and pictures to get to a wrinkled old paper ticket that you place on the counter.
  986. "Bring it out."
  987. >He takes the ticket, nodding and stepping toward the back again.
  988. >After almost five minutes of waiting, he steps back forward, holding a huge brown case by a hanger at the top.
  989. >"I gave it its own case, since it's been here so long. Here you go."
  990. >You take the case gingerly, draping it over one arm and nodding as you turn to leave.
  991. >"Hey Anon."
  992. >You glance over your shoulder, one eyebrow raised.
  993. >"Remind them why you're the champion."
  994. >You throw the door open, giving a last remark over your shoulder as you leave.
  995. "I plan on it. You're gonna hear about tonight for the rest of your life, John."
  996. >It takes forty-five minutes on the same route to return home.
  997. >Once again, your thoughts are nearly blank.
  998. >Luckily, as you enter the house once again, there seems to be no major stress.
  999. >Luna is playing your dad in a game of chess, and the hum of a sewing machine echoes from the dining room.
  1000. >Without a word, you plant yourself beside Luna on the couch and wrap an arm around her.
  1001. >The board is interesting, no doubt.
  1002. >They've definitely been at it for a while, but by some strange means your father seems to have the advantage.
  1003. >Luna purses her lips, studying the board with a concentration that you scarcely see on her at all.
  1004. >You lift yourself from the couch just a few inches and lean forward, taking a quick look at the board from your father's point of view.
  1005. >Well, that makes sense.
  1006. >You sit back down, leaning in to Luna.
  1007. "You've got checkmate in four."
  1008. >She raises an eyebrow at you, but seems to accept it.
  1009. >One of your first dates was nothing more than a simple chess game after a royal dinner, and she's learned not to mess around with you in the game.
  1010. >You'd allowed her to bring you to check three times before you'd brought her entire strategy collapsing on itself.
  1011. >Then again, she'd perfectly emulated your skill the next time you played, and you were able to get nothing better than a stalemate from her ever since.
  1012. >Either way, she was quite the player if she'd held up against your dad for so long.
  1013. >After all, he was the one who taught you how to play.
  1014. >"Knight to E7."
  1015. >You raise an eyebrow.
  1016. >She made exactly the wrong move, but luckily at that moment the sewing machine cuts off.
  1017. >After a few seconds of scissors snipping, your mom steps back into the room with a red velvet party dress draped over her arm.
  1018. >"Ta da!"
  1019. >Luna leaps up from the couch, squeaking excitedly as she rushes over to examine it.
  1020. >"Oh my goodness! It's beautiful!"
  1021. >Luna quickly takes the dress via magic and lifts it up, admiring it for a few seconds before clutching it in closer to her and grinning.
  1022. >"Thank you so much! I'm going to go try it on right now!"
  1023. >She rushes up the stairs, practically skipping.
  1024. >You turn to your mom with one eyebrow raised.
  1025. "Velvet?"
  1026. >"Well, you said it was for a night on the town. Name a better way to do it."
  1027. >You open your mouth to rebut, but nothing comes forth.
  1028. "Fine then. You're the seamstress. I'm going to go get my own suit on."
  1029. >You lift the case from the couch and step up the stairs to the guest bathroom, slipping out of your current clothes quickly and throwing open the case.
  1030. >It takes only a moment to don the Suit, considering how many times you've had occasion to use it.
  1031. >As you check over yourself in the mirror, you feel the slightest ghost of your old self beginning to return, and a confident smirk forms on your lips.
  1032. >You throw the bathroom door open, and your jaw drops.
  1033. >Luna is standing there in all her radiant glory, draped in a slit-side sleeveless red velvet dress that hugs her in places you didn't know she had.
  1034. "Oh..."
  1035. >You're almost too busy ogling her to notice that the feeling is mutual.
  1036. >Luna stares up and down your body, her eyebrows raising as she gulps.
  1037. >The Suit has that effect.
  1038. >It's simple in design, a solid black sports jacket, a very light orange shirt beneath with a red tie, black suit pants, and to finish off the look, a pair of six-hundred-dollar penny loafers.
  1039. >"Uhm...Anon?"
  1040. "Yes?"
  1041. >She hesitates for a moment, then licks her lips once and shakes her head.
  1042. >"Nevermind...I need to go change again."
  1043. >She turns about, rushing back into the room and leaving you to step back down the stairs.
  1044. >As you reenter the living room, your father is still sitting at the chessboard, smirking.
  1045. >"I had her."
  1046. "Maybe. Don't get too confident. I told her she had checkmate in four, but you and I both know that her move didn't lead to anything like that."
  1047. >Your father raises an eyebrow skeptically.
  1048. >"You think she was letting me win?"
  1049. >You give a quick shrug, smiling knowingly.
  1050. "Maybe...maybe not. That's what I love about her, you know?"
  1051. >"Well, that's certainly sweet of you, Anon."
  1052. >Luna steps down the stairs, and you can't help but notice a certain sashe to her body that wasn't there before.
  1053. >You're just looking at her, but sweat is already beading on your forehead.
  1054. >You give yourself a quick shake and nod.
  1055. "You ready, then?"
  1056. >She trots down the rest of the stairs, nodding as she reaches you and leaps onto the couch, gesturing you over.
  1057. >She stands up on her back legs, planting her hooves on your shoulders.
  1058. >"I am. And Anon, know that I won't hold anything you do tonight against you. But..."
  1059. >Without warning, she plunges into you, wrapping both hooves around your head and dragging you into her.
  1060. >Her tongue slides across yours in a spiral pattern, teasing you incessantly with the tickling sensation and causing you to lose your breath rather quickly.
  1061. >She continues to surprise you, as you feel a magical grip working its way up your pant leg, eventually latching onto the area just next to Anon Jr. and massaging.
  1062. >Your jaw begins to tremble with the sensation, and Luna releases your mouth from her own.
  1063. >"Remember that this is what's waiting for you."
  1064. >You shake for a few seconds, trying to reassemble your derailed train of thought.
  1065. "R-right."
  1066. >You take a single deep breath and readjust your suit as Luna smiles, clearly happy in knowing she can still get to you every once in a while.
  1067. >It takes only a fifteen minute drive for you to reach the Prism Dance Club, a huge, three story establishment right in the middle of downtown.
  1068. >Every car there is a testament to the affluent lifestyle of the club's current inhabitants, and as the valet steps over to your door, you can tell by the look on his face that yours is no exception.
  1069. >You drop the keys in his hand, giving him a smirk.
  1070. "Take good care of her."
  1071. >"Yes, sir."
  1072. >By the time you make it to the door, you can already see the four other members of your party lined up on the main floor.
  1073. >You throw the door open, and immediately you are flooded with handshakes and back pats amongst a storm of chatter.
  1074. >"How you been, man?"
  1075. >"We've been waiting on you!"
  1076. >"Been too long, Anon."
  1077. >You nod, smiling at the nostalgia washing over you.
  1078. "It has. Now, before we go anywhere, I need to introduce you four to someone new."
  1079. >They look around for a second, failing to look down a few degrees until you gesture.
  1080. "Boys, let me introduce you to my fiancé. This is Luna."
  1081. >cans.wav
  1082. >Suom places a hand behind his head, clearly thinking hard on the issue, but after a few seconds, he shrugs.
  1083. >"Hey, man, I'm happy for you. Although I'm just a little bit disappointed that the Champ won't be showing his true colors tonight."
  1084. >You raise an eyebrow.
  1085. "You thought you could bring me to the Prism and not have me on the top of my game? Please. Give me twenty seconds."
  1086. >You stroll over to a trio of girls, brushing your hair back as you go and running your eyes across all three.
  1087. >By the time you approach them, you've got the whole thing set up.
  1088. "Excuse me, ladies...I couldn't help but notice you're only wearing one earring each. Did you lose the others? I could check around for them."
  1089. >They all feel both ears, and all three pairs of eyes bulge as they realize that their right earrings have all gone missing.
  1090. "Don't worry, I'm really good at bringing things back. I should be able to do it here, if I could find a piece of paper...
  1091. >One of the women passes you a slip of paper from her purse, and you nod, tearing it into three pieces.
  1092. "This'll do perfectly. Now, in order to bring back any objects that are related to you, I need some sort of personal info. Phone numbers usually work the best, since they're the most specific. If you three could just write down your numbers, that'd be great."
  1093. >You hand them each one piece of paper, and as they write down their respective numbers, you lower one hand to your side, feeling the metal trinkets fall into your palm.
  1094. >They all give back their slips of paper, and you roll them up, placing them lightly on your palm.
  1095. "Alright, now here's the tricky part. Let's see if this works."
  1096. >You slap the hand holding the earrings down onto the opposing palm, lifting it off almost immediately.
  1097. >The paper sticks to your palm, being lighter and stuck against it, but the earrings fall beautifully in a triangle in your other hand, causing each of the girls to gasp for a moment.
  1098. "There, now. These are yours, I'm assuming?"
  1099. >They nod, each plucking out the earring that matches her opposite ear and thanking you as they replace them.
  1100. "Not at all."
  1101. >You step back over to the squad and distribute the three numbers, leaving only Suom and yourself without one.
  1102. >Each member of the group shakes their head in awe as you brush your hair back again and glance at your watch.
  1103. "Twenty-seven. I guess I'm a little off."
  1104. >Luna looks up at you, one eyebrow raised.
  1105. >"I suppose you now have three points?"
  1106. "You'd be correct."
  1107. >She smirks, causing you to grow a bit nervous.
  1108. >"Would you mind terribly if I got in on this little game?"
  1109. >You chuckle, then shrug.
  1110. "Fine by me. Time limit is three hours, high score gets free drinks."
  1111. >"Excellent. I enjoy having men buy things for me."
  1112. >Four pairs of eyebrow shoot up as you see each member of the group look back and forth from Luna to you in shock, grins of anticipation on their face.
  1113. "Oh, it's on now."
  1114. >The group begins to splinter a bit, staying just within one another's eyesight.
  1115. >You watch as Luna approaches the bar, her horn sparking every few seconds.
  1116. >You see every guy at the bar begin to twitch a bit, and suddenly they all begin reaching for their wallets, withdrawing pieces of paper.
  1117. >In turn, they all march over to Luna, passing off their numbers to her one at a time until she has a stack of eleven.
  1118. >You gape at her, whispering under your breath.
  1119. "That's so cheating."
  1120. >Right then, however, the club's schedule seems to bend to your will.
  1121. >The announcer walks out on stage, grabbing a microphone on his way forward.
  1122. >"Alright, alright, alrigiiiiht! Ladies and germs, who's ready for some karaoke?!"
  1123. >You burst to the front of the crowd, stepping up onstage and giving a quick set of instructions to the band.
  1124. >As the music starts playing, you wink once over at Luna, who is clearly already enjoying this spectacle.
  1125. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkCWVNaX6-k
  1126. >As soon as the first verse is done, you can see literally a dozen girls in the front row writing down their numbers.
  1127. >They throw them up onstage, perfectly in your path, and Luna scowls back at the bar and marches off, headed to the pool tables, presumably to try and get back in the lead.
  1128. >The song ends, leaving you swamped for almost five minutes, but eventually you manage to shake them off as the next performer takes the stage.
  1129. >A quick break is in order after a score like that, and you slide over to the bar and rap on the top for a beer.
  1130. >As the barkeep slides one down, you notice that you are currently sitting next to a girl who seems to be having a far lower than average amount of fun, something that you're excellent at remedying.
  1131. "Excuse me, ma'am, but would you please turn over here for a moment?"
  1132. >She looks at you, and suddenly everything takes a very dark turn.
  1133. >She has a five inch bruise on one eye and a split lip.
  1134. "Who did this to you?"
  1135. >She doesn't speak, but turns back to her drink.
  1136. "Ma'am, I'm here with a group. I guarantee you, if you tell me who did this, I can get them taken care of for you."
  1137. >She tries to hide it, but you can see her glance over to the pool tables.
  1138. >Her gaze doesn't last long, but it points daggers at a large, balding man playing a game of 8-ball with...
  1139. "Luna!"
  1140. >You leap out of the stool, leaving a Franklin on the bar and yelling to the bartender.
  1141. "Her drinks are on me!"
  1142. >With that established, you start over to the pool tables.
  1143. >Unfortunately, Mr. Balding seems to have heard you, and he starts toward you as well.
  1144. >Well, this could get troublesome rather fast.
  1145. >You hadn't noticed exactly how much muscle was on this guy from across the club, but as he approached, you realized that you were going to have to give this one everything you had.
  1146. >"Hey, punk! Think you're clever or something?"
  1147. >Your mental filter flickers off and suddenly you find yourself saying exactly what you were thinking.
  1148. "Clever enough to maintain a relationship without beating my girl."
  1149. >He narrows his eyes and gives a whistle, and suddenly three pool cues drop to the tables.
  1150. >It takes less than ten seconds for the three other members of his group to fall in behind him, and you're left with no options but to give a whistle of your own.
  1151. >It takes a little longer, but after about twenty seconds, you can feel your squad form up behind you.
  1152. "Now look, I don't want trouble, but you and I both know I can't just let something like that slide. I'm gonna go get a phone, and then we'll get the whole thing settled."
  1153. >He chuckles, then his whole group steps forward.
  1154. >"You take me for an idiot? Why would I let you call me in when we can just beat the idea out of you right here?"
  1155. >You sigh and crack your knuckles.
  1156. "I was afraid of this. Boys, let 'em have first blood. That way we can call self-defense when they try to sue. I'll take the ugly one."
  1157. >Suom chuckles from behind you.
  1158. >"Which one's the ugly one?"
  1159. >Suom leaps forward first, having his gut slammed by a large fist.
  1160. >You follow quickly, sliding under the first punch and allowing the backhand that follows from the leader of the group to smack you once and send you sprawling briefly.
  1161. >For a moment, you lose track of the fight until a voice rings in your head.
  1162. >"Anon, you should probably get up. I don't know how durable humans are, but Suom isn't looking exceptionally strong."
  1163. >You push to your feet, grunting a bit with effort and spinning around with your fists up.
  1164. "Luna, are you using telepathy?"
  1165. >"Magic is a wonderful thing, Anon. Now, do your thing."
  1166. >You rush forward again, this time heading toward the big one with Suom in a chokehold.
  1167. >A quick clap to his temples serves to throw him backward, gripping his head in pain, and without a second thought, you smack a fist into his jaw, sending him tumbling back into a table.
  1168. >"Anon! Behind you!"
  1169. >Before Luna finishes speaking, you feel three hundred pounds jumping onto your back.
  1170. >You roll forward, effectively rolling him off of you.
  1171. >He scrambles to his feet, but he's knocked over a table, leaving you with the chance to grab a bottle and leap toward him.
  1172. >He surges backward, forcing you to come after him, until you feel a massive kick in your side.
  1173. >Two more of the fighters have tripped over your ribs, rolling you over painfully and forcing a knee into your face.
  1174. >With a desperate shove, you throw them off, but by the time the weight is off of you, the leader's elbow is planted deep in your stomach.
  1175. >The air shoots from your diaphragm, leaving you helpless for a second before you manage to wrap an arm around his newly exposed stump of a neck and smash the bottle into the crown of his head.
  1176. >Glass shatters over your lap, and the huge man collapses on your waist.
  1177. >A quick breath and you work to sit up, shoving the meathead off you.
  1178. >"Anon!"
  1179. >You spin around, standing up and glancing around.
  1180. "Son of a-"
  1181. >A group of the thugs has Luna.
  1182. >Luna is clearly less than pleased at this turn of events, but she shrugs at you.
  1183. >"Anon, you should probably unclench your jaw."
  1184. >The command takes a second to register, but you manage to drop your jaw as Luna's horn sparks, throwing a shockwave outward from her.
  1185. >You find yourself planted on your back, the wind knocked from you for the second time in as many minutes.
  1186. >As the dust settles, you blink for a moment and roll onto your feet, stepping over to Luna and grabbing a pool cue.
  1187. "Well, that was certainly interesting."
  1188. >She blinks the dust from her eyes and yawns, squeaking a bit.
  1189. "Wore you out, huh? No problem. I think we should probably be going anyway."
  1190. >A yell sounds from behind you, but that's what you grabbed the cue for.
  1191. >You whip around, flipping the stick over your shoulder and smashing it to splinters across the cheek of the man attacking you from behind with a knife.
  1192. >He falls to the floor snoring, and you bend down to pick up Luna.
  1193. >As you drape her semi-conscious form across your arms, she shrieks and leaps off you and to the side.
  1194. >"Anon, your side! Sit down!"
  1195. >You glance down toward your right side, and you can understand what has her so worried.
  1196. >You have a six inch splinter from the table you smashed stuck just under your fifth rib.
  1197. >It doesn't seem to be bleeding too much at the moment, but judging from the sizable stain on your suit, this coagulation is a recent development.
  1198. "Huh, that's weird. Adrenaline must have kept me from passing-oooh, there we go."
  1199. >You can feel yourself tipping forward, and your vision goes black for a while.
  1200. >You lose track of time as Luna fades in and out of your dreams.
  1201. >She keeps you updated on what's been happening, first with the ambulance drive to the hospital, which she found highly panicking.
  1202. >Next, she describes the doctors and the various procedures they preform on you.
  1203. >After a time, you reach the point where you have little else to speak of besides your wedding preparations, and beyond that, you simply play through a few games of chess before your dreams begin to fizzle out.
  1204. >You awaken with a dull, throbbing pain in your side, one that continues to grow with every passing second.
  1205. >The nurse on your left glances at you, and then at Luna a bit nervously.
  1206. "Eveeting aarih?"
  1207. >The morphine is still evidently rushing through your veins, causing your speech to blur.
  1208. >You lick your lips and try again.
  1209. "Everything alright?"
  1210. >The nurse looks back down to you, her lips pursed.
  1211. >"We had quite the struggle to get you in here, since aren't supposed to have animals in here."
  1212. >You glance over at Luna, who is purring contentedly as she sits up on a chair, her head cocked at you and a happy grin on her face.
  1213. >"Once she pinned a security guard against the wall, we sort of gave a consensus to let her sleep in here with you. She's been happy ever since."
  1214. >You can't help but smile, clicking the button on the side of the hospital bed to sit up and look at Luna.
  1215. >Luna's eyes begin to flutter open as the nurse leaves, and she spends a moment stretching before she looks around.
  1216. >As soon as she lays eyes on you, her wings flip open and she lifts into the air, hovering above you.
  1217. >"Are you alright, Anon? I was a bit panicked when I saw the wound, so I tried to help you with some magic, but the then the medics came and..."
  1218. >You place a finger over her mouth.
  1219. "I'm fine. You're a lot more composed in a dream than you are in real life, aren't you?"
  1220. >She scrunches up a bit, pushing your finger out of the way with her muzzle.
  1221. >"Don't make fun! I was worried. They told me you just needed to be calm and relaxed, so I thought of projecting myself into your dreams, but out here I've been pacing so long that my hoof guards have left indentations in the floor."
  1222. >You turn your hand sideways and rub the side of her head, moving your way up to her mane and brushing it with your fingers.
  1223. "I'm not going anywhere yet, trust me. And when I do go, it'll take a lot more than a little wood sliver to tear me away from you."
  1224. >She seems to settle, allowing herself to drift down and onto your legs.
  1225. >Your eyes begin to drift shut, but just as they close, the door flies open and you hear a familiar voice.
  1226. >"Anon? Anonymous?!"
  1227. >You throw your eyes open, but something is wrong.
  1228. >For a moment, you see nothing but blackness.
  1229. >A brief look around confirms that you're looking up into a black sky, and standing on a solid white surface.
  1230. >The ground is powdery, and your motions are slowed, as if gravity is lightened.
  1231. >You move about for a moment, your mind coming to the inevitable conclusion.
  1232. "The moon..."
  1233. >As you step around a large mound of rock, you feel the ground beneath you shake, and a dark figure steps from behind the structure, glaring at you.
  1234. >The creature is almost unrecognizable through the storm of magic surrounding it and the sheer torment and agony of its very presence, but even with the strange features, there is a face you know better than any other.
  1235. "Luna? What happened?"
  1236. >She plants a hoof in your chest, casting you back a dozen yards into the dust and trotting forward, glaring down at you as she places a hoof on your neck.
  1237. >"You left. That is what happened, Anon. For decades we lived together, experiencing the greatest happiness I could imagine. I thought that together, we were perfection itself, but then you proved me wrong. You died, and I was left more alone than I had ever been."
  1238. >You blink, the pieces of the puzzle coming together in your head.
  1239. >"I spent decades...nay, CENTURIES searching the darkest, most powerful tomes for a way to bring you back. And you know, I found one. It took the greatest effort I could muster, so much so that my magic was brought nearly to waste. The citizens of Equestria deserted me, claiming that I had no regard for their nightmares, but I didn't care about my own fate. All I wanted was you back..."
  1240. >"But do you know what happened when I returned you, Anon? I'd like you to guess."
  1241. >You blink, trying desperately to think of anything that could cause Luna to become this...being.
  1242. "I don't know. Truly, I can't-"
  1243. >"THIS!"
  1244. >Her horn lights up, and her helmet is torn from her head, revealing a massive scar running from her temple to her eye.
  1245. >"You claimed that I had torn you from the greatest of pinnacles, a perfect world, and you hated me for it. I begged you for a simple caress, a word of love, and you repayed me with hatred. I had only to wait until you were felled again by your own sword, and then I knew. I was never to feel love again."
  1246. >You are silent as this mountainous terror washes over you, the understanding of Luna's true and deepest fear.
  1247. >For a minute solid you stare into her eyes, but there is nothing there.
  1248. >Hatred, anger, and most of all, a deep hurt, a hurt that no amount of magic or medicine could hope to heal.
  1249. "Luna, I can't claim to be immortal."
  1250. >She snarls, bringing her muzzle mere centimeters from your face.
  1251. >"I AM! I will live with this destiny for eternity, and you are to blame!"
  1252. "No, Luna. I'm not."
  1253. >Her nostrils flare, and you have to gulp before continuing to give you time to accumulate your nerve.
  1254. "I am human, that's how it is. The day will come when I die, and it's something I have come to terms with. I can't help it, and neither can you. But Luna, that doesn't change anything."
  1255. >Her form begins to fizzle, and at her side you can see an outline of a smaller figure, a kinder face.
  1256. "I may pass from this world any day now, but even if I do, there are some things that will never change. The sun will come up and go down, the grass will grow, and until the stars stop shining, I will love you."
  1257. >She begins to blink, the scar on her temple fading and the smaller outline coming more into clarity.
  1258. "I know you hear me. That's not going to change, you can't make it. No matter what happens, one way or the other-"
  1259. Her form begins to shudder, and as you open your mouth for the last time to speak, the darkened Luna shatters into dust and the Luna you know and love steps forward, speaking in time with you.
  1260. "I love you."
  1261. >You shoot up in your hospital bed, feeling a set of two arms wrapped around you.
  1262. >It's your parents, oddly enough.
  1263. >Your mom seems to be scolding you, although her words are a jumble after what you just experienced.
  1264. >You return the hugs, still a bit in shock, and glance over their shoulders at Luna, who is sitting up at the foot of your bed with a few dark streaks down her cheeks and a smile on her face.
  1265. Alright, today we conclude this adventure.
  1266. >It takes a bit of time to relay the story of what happened to your parents, and as you finish, Luna interjects with the happy news that the rest of the squad is doing fine and that the man you had challenged was currently laid up with a set of broken ribs.
  1267. >As you both conclude, the whole room comes to a silence, and you finally make the obvious announcement.
  1268. "Just so we're clear, I don't plan on moving the wedding back."
  1269. >Three eyebrows raise, and you sigh.
  1270. "Sorry, it's just that there's no reason to. Even with a bandage, I can walk down the aisle, and I can still dance to the right type of music.
  1271. >Your father chuckles, leaning back against the wall.
  1272. >"You remind me of me at your age. Not willing to give an inch."
  1273. "Well, that's how I do it. You okay with this, Luna?"
  1274. >She grins, hovering over to you and planting a peck on your cheek.
  1275. >"Of course, you fool. I'll get started on the arrangements, you just focus on getting better."
  1276. >She leans in to put another kid on your temple, but this time she whispers in your ear.
  1277. >"After all, you'll need lots of strength for the honeymoon."
  1278. >You can practically feel your pupils dilate, and without another word, Luna leaves, trailed by your mother.
  1279. >You glance over at your father, taking a deep breath.
  1280. >"You looking forward to it?"
  1281. >You moisten your lips and lean back, closing your eyes once again.
  1282. "Dad, you have noooo idea."
  1283. >You blink in and out of consciousness over the next day, slowly growing more lucid with each awakening.
  1284. >By the next morning, you're shocked at how amazing you feel, and this is confirmed by the doctor stepping in at 7 AM and giving you a quick shake.
  1285. >"Well, I'm happy to tell you that you're doing so well that you'll be able to walk right out of here."
  1286. >You lift an eyebrow and grin.
  1287. "Sounds awesome to me. Let's do this."
  1288. >He chuckles, leaning over on your bed.
  1289. >"You might change your tune once you stand up, but I like the enthusiasm. Anyway, the pharmacy's holding some painkillers for you. Pick those up, and you're golden."
  1290. >You give a quick nod, swinging your legs out of the bed and testing them against the cold tile floor.
  1291. >"Slow down, champ? Got a hot date?"
  1292. >You let out an ecstatic laugh as you regain your feet, grabbing your clothes and stepping into the bathroom.
  1293. "Doc, I've got the hottest date since Lava Girl."
  1294. >With your clothes on, you power walk down to the pharmacy whilst checking your phone.
  1295. >You've got a small series of texts from your mom, each with selfies taken at various bridal boutiques and decoration stores.
  1296. >You chuckle, realizing that they've probably blown through three hundred dollars by now.
  1297. >Luckily, Rarity, Coco Pommel, and seven more of Equestria's greatest seamstresses are doing her dress, and Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich are in charge of the reception.
  1298. >That just leaves them to the flowers and maybe a few walkway decorations.
  1299. >You shake your head as you approach the pharmacy desk.
  1300. >You're wishing you'd never taught her how to take selfies, although the food for thought is appreciated.
  1301. >With a quick scan of your ID, the little brown bag is passed across the counter to you, and you're off.
  1302. >The first stop is Staples, since you've got a few quick things that need printing.
  1303. >After a moment designing, you step back out of the store with custom invites.
  1304. >Next comes the deliveries to each of your boys, with Suom as the best man, obviously.
  1305. >The time seems to blur by as you make each drop, receiving six affirmatives and zero negatives.
  1306. >Next thing, got to get a new tux.
  1307. >You slide into your car after making the final delivery and glance down, looking at the spot where the shard stabbed you.
  1308. >It punched a hole right through the Suit, and now the magic in it was gone.
  1309. >You take a melancholy drive to the tailor's shop on 40th and Cain, and as the bell rings on the front door, the clerk seems to understand everything.
  1310. >"Your suit, sir."
  1311. "I know. I need another, but this time, I need it better. I need the best you can make."
  1312. >His face changes a little, looking you up and down.
  1313. >"How fast do you need it, my friend? You have the look of a man with no time to spare."
  1314. >Well, if nothing else, the man was a fine judge of character.
  1315. "I need it by tomorrow evening. Is that possible?"
  1316. >His jaw drops.
  1317. >"No, no, no...this would require our entire staff to be working on a single order for an entire day. Not possible, not for any amount."
  1318. "What about for a cause?"
  1319. >He leans on the counter.
  1320. >"Sir, I have been in this business for fifteen years. What scenario could you give me that I have never heard before?"
  1321. "A wedding."
  1322. >He throws back his head and laughs.
  1323. >"Oh, that's rich. You think I've never made a wedding tuxedo before?"
  1324. "How about a tux for a wedding to the Princess of an alien world?"
  1325. >He stops cold, staring you dead in the eyes.
  1326. >"You aren't serious."
  1327. >You smirk a bit, then your mouth levels out again and you lean across the table at him.
  1328. "You look at me and tell me if I'm being serious."
  1329. >He gazes at you for a minute, two minutes, then slams his hand down.
  1330. >"Very well, let's get you into the measuring room."
  1331. >You're measured in record time, with three tailors on you at once.
  1332. >In mere moments, you burst out of the shop and back into the car, trying now to contain your excitement.
  1333. >In less than twenty-four hours, you'll be married to the love of your life.
  1334. >Desperately, you work to put yourself in perspective.
  1335. >People get married every day, right?
  1336. "Not to the Princess of the Equestrian Night, they don't!"
  1337. >With a laugh and a jerk, you slam the car into gear, throwing it backward and onto the road with a joyful exclamation.
  1338. >Next stop is your house, but unfortunately, you'll have to go over the Golden Gate Bridge to get there before sundown.
  1339. >You weigh your options for a moment as you come to a halt at the stoplight where you can turn to take the long way.
  1340. >On one hand, going over the bridge gets you home faster to prepare.
  1341. >On the other, you'll almost definitely see the decorations that are being placed on the scaffolding under the bridge, and that'll ruin the surprise.
  1342. >You hesitate for a split second as the light turns green, and hang a sharp left.
  1343. >You don't really need the extra time, not since Luna taught you how to lucid dream.
  1344. >You'll just have to try and keep her from your dreams tonight, since you want to surprise her.
  1345. >As expected, the sun is fading quickly behind a massive cloud as you pull into your parents' driveway again, and your mother and Luna are definitely home, judging by the amount of laughter coming from inside.
  1346. >As the door swings open, you feel a warmth between your calves and find that Luna is already practically on you, looking up at you from between your legs.
  1347. >"Anon! Where have you been? We've been waiting for you, but dinner started getting cold, so we had to go ahead and eat."
  1348. >You blink, your mind catching up to the day's events.
  1349. "Right, dinner. Oh, man, I'm sorry! I just got caught up getting a few things set up, I didn't even..."
  1350. >Your mom shakes her head, smiling knowingly.
  1351. >"I'll nuke it for you, you go get changed."
  1352. >You rush upstairs, pulling your jacket off as you go.
  1353. >By the time you reach your room, your shirt is halfway unbuttoned.
  1354. >As you turn to close the door, you let out a somewhat squeaky yell.
  1355. "LUNA!"
  1356. >She giggles a bit, advancing on you and stepping around you onto the bed.
  1357. >"Is everything alright, Anon?"
  1358. >You raise an eyebrow as you finish taking off your shirt, leaving you barechested.
  1359. "Yeah, why?"
  1360. >"Well, you were gone all day. I want to make sure you're alright."
  1361. >You chuckle, but the laughter stops quickly as you feel yourself being dragged toward her.
  1362. >Before you can react, she's inspecting your bandages, prodding lightly at the wound and causing you to cringe.
  1363. >"You're sure?"
  1364. >Before you can answer, Luna's hood begins to raise up, tracing an imaginary line up between your pecs.
  1365. "Yep! I'm just fine!"
  1366. >The hormonal panic rushes through your body, but after a moment you manage to calm yourself and breathe into a rhythm of your own.
  1367. "Yeah, I'm doing fine. Besides, I've got an advantage."
  1368. >She raises an eyebrow as you lean in to whisper.
  1369. "I might be sore, but by the time our honeymoon is over, I doubt you'll even be able to walk."
  1370. >She pulls back, a smirk on her face and an eyebrow raised.
  1371. >"Is that a promise, Anon?"
  1372. >She doesn't leave you a chance to reply, but hops off of the bed and leaves, flicking her tail intentionally from side to side, as if attempting to hypnotize you.
  1373. >For a moment, it works, at least until she rounds the corner, leaving you to finish changing quickly as the microwave beeps downstairs.
  1374. >You feel your muscles tense as you do, in redundant preparation.
  1375. >By now, you're hoping that your mouth isn't writing checks that your body can't cash.
  1376. >After you finish changing, you dart downstairs, snatching your plate up quickly and taking a seat in the kitchen.
  1377. >Your fingers pound rapidly on the table as you eat, causing a few questioning glances from each family member.
  1378. >For the last three weeks, you'd been working on this, but tomorrow was the last chance.
  1379. >There is only one solution, and you plan to take it.
  1380. >Without another thought, you grab a piece of paper and a pen and begin writing.
  1381. >Twice someone comes over to look at your handiwork, but both times they are shooed away.
  1382. >After five minutes of varying between thought, writing, and quick eating, you find yourself full and tired.
  1383. >With a tall, powerful stretch, you stand from the chair and slip past your family, back upstairs to your own room.
  1384. >Once there, you slip straight out of your clothes and into the bed, taking mere moments to fall into a deep sleep.
  1385.  
  1386. Now, to switch gears.
  1387.  
  1388. >You are Luna.
  1389. >You feel a growl rising in your throat as you watch Anon walking back up the stairs, and you shift yourself on the couch a bit to avoid leaving any unseemly stains on it.
  1390. >Few ponies would blame you, after all.
  1391. >In the past week, he's shown you more of him and his world than you thought even existed, and put his life on the line for you.
  1392. >His mortal life.
  1393. >There were only twenty-four hours left before you could have him totally, one day until he would drill into you with a force beyond measure...
  1394. >You step up and off of the couch, trying to control your breathing as you step to the bathroom and throw the faucet open, directing a stream of the water downward via magic.
  1395. >The cold stream against your nethers serves to jump your heart rate, but the fire diminishes just a bit, just enough for you to lay down.
  1396. >Almost reluctantly, you shut off the water and grab a towel, brushing it between your legs.
  1397. >The sensation almost causes you to squeal with delight, and you know immediately that you're going to need more water.
  1398. >Your body seems to be on high-alert the next morning, with your eyes flying open the second that sunlight falls through the window.
  1399. >With stealth that would be well suited to Mission Impossible, you creep from the bed and grab a set of clothes from the closet, rushing from the room to get dressed.
  1400. >Even your parents aren't up yet, giving you the chance to get dressed in the halls and be downstairs before anyone notices the tiny shufflings you're making.
  1401. >You dig your cellphone from your pocket as you pull the front door open as quietly as possible.
  1402. >Four rings, and a voice rings through as you enter your car.
  1403. >"Perfect Fits Tailoring, how may I help you this morning?"
  1404. "Hey, it's Mr. Anonymous. Is my suit ready?"
  1405. >"It will be completed in twenty minutes. We're just putting the finishing touches on it now."
  1406. "Excellent. I'll be there in thirty, if you could possibly use the extra time to iron it."
  1407. >"Of course, sir."
  1408. >Click.
  1409. >You start your Mustang, laying a hand on the dash and silently willing the engine to be as quiet as possible.
  1410. >It rumbles to life, smooth as possible.
  1411. >With a grin, you throw the car into gear and you're off to town again.
  1412. >As you cruise down the nearly empty road, you try and keep your mind on anything but the wedding.
  1413. >It isn't easy, of course, considering everything that's happened over the past few days.
  1414. >Finally you reach down and click the radio on, and for a moment your heart stops as you hear the song that's playing.
  1415. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRlwnb3zIrE
  1416. >For a moment, you seem to flash forward to your wedding, and the days beyond.
  1417. >It seems like Luna's nightmare, but instead of a horrible fate, you can see the both of you in perfect happiness.
  1418. >Maybe not with any kids, maybe not forever, but nobody needs forever.
  1419. >As you reach the tailor's shop, you dig into your glove compartment for a pencil and paper, scribbling down the one thing that you've been trying to master for the last few days.
  1420. >For a moment, you examine the lines, but even as fast as they were written, you can't find a flaw.
  1421. >For the first time, you've actually managed to put your feelings for Luna into words, and as you read them, your breathing begins to speed up.
  1422. >The year you've known her, the perfection that has made it up, the absolute bliss that you can see ahead, all of it on one piece of paper.
  1423. >Reluctantly, you tear your eyes from the writing and rush inside, where the suit is already hanging in a case on a peg in the corner.
  1424. >As you place five hundred dollars on the counter, the whole staff seems to turn to you and nod.
  1425. >The clerk passes off the suit to you, giving you a quick nod.
  1426. >"Good luck, sir."
  1427. >You smile, giving him a nod.
  1428. "You too, friend. I owe you big time."
  1429. >You turn to leave, moving a bit slower this time.
  1430. >For the first time, you know that hurrying will do you no good.
  1431. >Luna certainly isn't going anywhere, and you won't be going anywhere until it's time for you to go either.
  1432. >A strange kind of confidence has struck you, a confidence that tells you that you simply have time, despite the alerts to your own mortality over the last few days.
  1433. >You're not going anywhere.
  1434. >You take it a bit slower on your way to the bridge, watching the people around you going about their days.
  1435. >For all the hustle and bustle in the world, if people acted like they had a thousand years to live, there wouldn't be quite as much trouble, so it seems.
  1436. >It seems so strange to know that your life will be like a blink to her, but all that means is that you've got to spend every moment making her as you can.
  1437. >As you reach the bridge, pulling past the blockade and onto the steel scaffolding beneath, you can't help but gape at the incredible decorations that have been placed here.
  1438. >Just in front of the haze in the air that is the portal to Equestria, there is a two-step pedestal, led up to by a long, burgundy carpet.
  1439. >On either side of the carpet is a row of solid black chairs, draped with dark blue flowers strung together on a line.
  1440. >For what seems like mere seconds, you glance around the area, but before you can even begin to map out how everything will go, you notice a group of people marching into the area.
  1441. "Guys, good to see you here."
  1442. >It's Suom and the rest of the group, all in suits with varying colors of undershirt.
  1443. >They each step up, giving you a hug and a clap on the back.
  1444. >"Good to be here, brother. I gotta say, you tough. Getting hitched two days after a table shanks you during a bar fight? Crazy stuff."
  1445. "Yeah, well...I'm not waiting any longer on this. Life goes fast, you know?"
  1446. >"I hear you. How long?"
  1447. >You watch the bridge above, taking a deep breath and thinking.
  1448. "Maybe three hours, tops. I want to get it started as soon as I can."
  1449. >"Good call. Who's presiding?"
  1450. >Interestingly enough, just as he mentions it, another car pulls up and from within steps a tiny lady in a long dress patterned with flowers.
  1451. "Speak of the devil..."
  1452. >You walk up to her, smiling all the way.
  1453. >"I heard there was a wedding happening somewhere around here?"
  1454. >She's already got an eyebrow raised and a smirk on her face.
  1455. "You heard right, ma'am. Glad you could be here."
  1456. >Suom claps a hand onto your shoulder, leaning on you.
  1457. >"That's right. Anon here is getting hitched to a real princess, if you can believe it."
  1458. >She places a hand on your cheek and shakes her head.
  1459. >"Out of all the people I know, he's the one I can most believe it for. I spent half of my life trying to teach this boy right, and never realized I was doing nothing more than cranking a windup toy."
  1460. >Suom glances at you, then back to her.
  1461. >"How do you mean?"
  1462. >"Well, I spent all that time trying to get him set up good, and he's going off in whatever direction he pleases, maybe taking a little bit of the stuff I taught him. Don't bother me none, I'm just happy he decided to settle down one way or the other."
  1463. >You nod, and before she's even gotten herself situated, a group of other cars have started appearing.
  1464. "So it begins."
  1465. >Suom spins you around, directing you toward a little surveillance shack constructed at the edge of the scaffolding.
  1466. >"No, no, no. Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Get in there and...I don't know, do something. Start by getting dressed, you've got a Princess to marry."
  1467. "But you don't even know-"
  1468. >"Don't care, either. Go."
  1469. >You sigh, closing the door behind you and slipping your shirt off, starting to slip into your new suit.
  1470. "Wow."
  1471. >You have to admit, the tailors did an amazing job with such a limited amount of time.
  1472. >Silk lined, soft-padded shoulders, and the creases are literally perfect.
  1473. >As you do up the buttons on the jacket and tighten up the tie, you can feel your heart practically bursting.
  1474. >The amount of emotions that have struck you seem to be multiplying unreasonably quickly, in speed and intensity.
  1475. >You have to sit down, taking a few deep breaths to calm your stomach.
  1476. >You lean back, then stand, then pace, then resume your deep breaths, rinse and repeat.
  1477. >You can feel yourself aging, and you get the distinct impression that you've started to become Rip Van Winkle.
  1478. >Maybe you've missed the ceremony?
  1479. >Did they forget you?
  1480. "That's it, not waiting any longer!"
  1481. >You twist the handle, throwing the door open and looking around.
  1482. >A few people are placing themselves in chairs, and Suom is standing in front of you, arms crossed.
  1483. "Did I miss it?"
  1484. >He rolls his eyes, pushing you backwards with one finger.
  1485. >"It's been ten minutes. Take a nap or something. I'll get you when it's time."
  1486. >It seems like five eternities pass before there is a double knock on the door and you throw it open.
  1487. >The chairs are all full, and there stands Suom, gesturing you to the aisle.
  1488. >"Go on, bro. She'll be with you in a moment."
  1489. >You gulp and nod, stepping out of the little building and onto the carpet, glancing from side to side as you do so.
  1490. >Everything is blurry, your heart is pounding so fast, but there is an odd clarity to it all.
  1491. >As you reach the pulpit and take your spot just in front of the little old lady, still grinning at you, a song begins to play from either side of the seats.
  1492. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZtXEvjhgaE
  1493. Don't judge me for my taste in music. Personally, I'd love to have this playing at my wedding.
  1494. >You turn along with the crowd to look to the back of the aisle, and your entire world seems to melt away.
  1495. >Marching up the aisle in a sparkling white dress, accompanied by none other than your own father, was Luna.
  1496. >She left a slight trail of blank space behind her in the petals that had been spread across the aisle after you by the little girl that had spoken to Luna at the mall mere days ago.
  1497. >You're sure your jaw is hanging open, but you seem to have lost all control over yourself.
  1498. >She continues up the aisle, tauntingly slowly, and comes eventually to a halt directly in front of you.
  1499. >With one finger, you lift the lace veil over her face and drape it behind her head, and a shiver runs down your spine.
  1500. >Some strange side of you was expecting her to look different somehow, as if she might put on makeup or something to that effect.
  1501. >You chide yourself for a moment, laughing at your own stupidity.
  1502. >Why would she put on makeup?
  1503. >You can't improve on perfection, after all.
  1504. >She returns your grin as the old lady begins speaking, glancing back and forth between the two of you and the crowd.
  1505. >"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this day to commemorate the bonding of this man and woman in holy matrimony."
  1506. >She smirks, directing her gaze to you.
  1507. >"I've been around for quite a while, and seen quite a lot of marriages come and go. One thing that people miss, one thing that's more important than anything else, the one thing that half of marriages today don't have enough of...love. And as strange as it may be, I can tell you right now that just from what I've heard about Anon over the last week, he's shown more love than most of the failed marriages I've ever seen put together. As such, I provide my blessing to this meeting of hearts. Now, you didn't come here to hear me talk. I believe that our bride and groom have written their own vows, so...?"
  1508. >You nod, turning back to Luna.
  1509. "Ladies first."
  1510. >Luna takes a deep breath and begins.
  1511. >"I believe we both know, Anon, that I will live far longer than you. As such, it is difficult for me to make a promise that I will not part from you until death. I can give you only one true promise. I will love you forever, Anon. You are, and always will be, my one and only. No matter what happens, nor how far in time I go, I will carry you in my heart until the end of my days."
  1512. >You blink, trying somewhat desperately not to cry a little.
  1513. >Sniffles can be heard from the audience, and after a few seconds, you moisten your lips and begin.
  1514. "Luna, like you, I can only make one promise. No matter how long it takes, Luna, no matter where I go, I will wait for you. Even if I have to sit before the Pearly Gates for another thousand years, it would feel like mere seconds if I knew you were coming. Even if I can't be with you forever, my mind, my heart, and a piece of my soul always will be."
  1515. >You take a breath, coming down from the adrenaline a little.
  1516. >The little old lady places her hand on yours, and the other one on Luna's hoof.
  1517. >"Well then...if we may present the rings?"
  1518. >Suom approaches the pulpit, holding one small ring and one large one on a red pillow.
  1519. >You remove the large ring and lean down, placing it gingerly on Luna's hoof.
  1520. >Without another word, you stand back up, and Luna's horn sparks once, causing the finger-sized ring to leap from the pillow and place itself snugly on your finger.
  1521. >The little lady looks between the two of you and back out to the audience.
  1522. >"Now, if anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your piece."
  1523. >You hear a series of knuckles crack from the row of bachelors behind you, and you can't help but crack a smile.
  1524. >Nothing is said, and so she turns to you once again.
  1525. >"In that case, by the power invested in me by God and the state of California, I hereby pronounce you man...and wife. You may kiss the bride."
  1526. >Without a second's hesitation, you bow down, lifting Luna straight into your arms and placing your mouth against her muzzle.
  1527. >You are Anon, Prince of Equestria and new husband of the beautiful Princess of the Night.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement