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The Vault of EEEEEEEEEVIIIIILL

combatcomma Sep 13th, 2018 (edited) 561 Never
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  1. >You had a pretty nice job.
  2. >You got to sit in a room and look at stuff.
  3. >...
  4. >It sounds better when you realize the stuff is evil.
  5. >Like, end of the world evil.
  6. >You were here because you could freely handle this evil stuff.
  7. >This had been found out when you put some glowy necklace on.
  8. >You had proceeded to take it off when some ponies asked.
  9. >Apparently it's pretty bad, but she's okay.
  10. >You'd think they'd hide it better, but you're paid pretty well for your job so you're not complaining.
  11. >You called her Glados when you got to know her better since she didn't remember her name.
  12. >That was kind of sad, but maybe you could help her.
  13. >Currently, you were doing inventory, Glados around your neck.
  14. "So you don't remember anything?"
  15. >Glados makes what you can only imagine is the mental equivalent of grunting noises in your head.
  16. "Are you still trying to do that mind control shit?"
  17. >{Yes, you confounded colt! Now submit to my will for I am-for I am...This is what I do Anonymous. I am a fire to any foolish enough to be my candle. And you refuse to burn.}
  18. >You look away from the checklist, patting the small necklace.
  19. "There there. This is a good thing. You're not hurting anybody and you have somebody to talk to."
  20. >{I-yes. You are right. Do you know how long I spent at the bottom of a well?}
  21. >You nod, returning to the list.
  22. "I bet you could have been there awhile since you don't need food or water. It must have been horrible."
  23. >The amulet vibrates on your chest.
  24. >{Yes. It was.}
  25. >You give her another pat, even if she can feel it.
  26. "How about when I'm done I drink some green tea?"
  27. >She may not be able to feel herself, but she has senses through you.
  28. >{B-but you don't like green tea.}
  29. "No, but you do."
  30. >She's silent as you mark off a few more items.
  31. >{I'd like that.}
  32. >You make another check before patting her.
  33. "I figured you would."
  34.  
  35. _-_-_-_-_-_
  36.  
  37. >Today was market day.
  38. >You had done a little bit of bargaining with your boss and gotten Glados out of the vault.
  39. >They were big on reformation here, so it wasn't too hard.
  40. >The one catch was that you had to have a guard with you as long as you moved around with her.
  41. >That was fair.
  42. >She told you some stories of what she could do, hoping to entice you.
  43. >It didn't work because world domination sounded super boring.
  44. >{See?! That right there! That attitude is just-GRRAAAGH!}
  45. >She could kind of read your mind, which could be annoying, but also nice.
  46. >{How could this possibly be nice?!}
  47. {Well, it's like we're two super close friends who can tell eachother all our secrets.}
  48. >If you focus on the thought, she gets it clearer.
  49. >{I-you-I could tell other ponies your secrets!}
  50. {Yeah, but they'd be under your control, so it's a moot point.}
  51. >She starts screaming again as you give her a pat.
  52. >She was currently hidden by your shirt.
  53. >Didn't need to freak ponies out.
  54. >Your guard taps at your leg.
  55. >"Sir? are you alright?"
  56. >You give her a smile and nod.
  57. "Everything's fine. Glad is just mad that she can't rule the world."
  58. >Stiff Breeze shakes her head.
  59. >"I can't believe they have a stallion tending to...that thing."
  60. >Annoyance starts to rise in you as well as a pit of anger that isn't yours.
  61. "Yes, well I'm resistant to many of the objects in the vault. Her especially. She's actually pretty nice once you get to know her."
  62. >The anger shifts to pride as Stiff shakes her head again.
  63. >"I hope that thing isn't getting to you."
  64. >She tilts her head back, giving you a smirk.
  65. >"If she isn't, maybe we could have some fun. We can call it even for me keeping you safe all day."
  66. >This was tempting, sure, but you wanted to keep Glados happy.
  67. >And right now it looked like you had a chest burster about to pop out, with how much the amulet was bopping around.
  68. >The burning hatred you felt didn't help either.
  69. >You put a hand on Glados to keep from making a scene and give Stiff a stern look.
  70. "Aren't you on duty right now?"
  71. >The smirk slowly fades away, confusion taking over.
  72. >"Uh, yeah-"
  73. "Fraternization with civilians is strictly prohibited for all guards during duty hours. Article twelve, subsection nine."
  74. >You can feel the confusion from Glados at this.
  75. >{How do you know this?}
  76. {There's a shit ton of frisky mares in this city. And when a guard says something like 'we can call it even' you need an out. There are some not too pretty mares in the guard.}
  77. >Glados chuckles to herself as Stiff starts sputtering.
  78. >{Perhaps you do have a devious side.}
  79. >"I-I apologize, sir! It will not happen again. There is no need to tell my superiors."
  80. >You pat her on the head and carry on you merry way.
  81. "Of course there isn't."
  82. >She sighs as annoyance bleeds over from Glados.
  83. >{You're going to let her go just like that?}
  84. {Of course. She didn't do anything wrong. What would you do?}
  85. >Images flash across your vision far too fast for you to see.
  86. >{I would-}
  87. {It involves demon ladys, doesn't it?}
  88. >She's silent as you can almost feel her blush.
  89. >{N-no! If you must know it involves normal, low level demons.}
  90. {Uh-huh. What do you think of tuna salad?}
  91. >{I think I could give you better taste buds.}
  92.  
  93. _-_-_-_-_-_
  94.  
  95. >{A small city.}
  96. "Nope."
  97. >You were sitting in your office, Glados around your neck.
  98. >You wonder if you can get her refitted for your size.
  99. >She was a little tight around your neck.
  100. >{If you gave in, you need not worry about physical discomfort.}
  101. "I'm good."
  102. >{Ugh. How about a large town.}
  103. "I've got enough paperwork already. Are you going to do the paperwork of running a large town."
  104. >{That's what minions are for!}
  105. >Glados was on her bi-weekly 'I want to rule the world' bargaining grumble.
  106. "Well what if they don't want-"
  107. >{They are minions! What they want does not matter!}
  108. >You open a drawer, pulling out a report.
  109. "Actually, a positive workplace can be-"
  110. >{STOP! I will have none of those charts.}
  111. >She sighs in your head.
  112. >{Can we at least conquer a small farming village?}
  113. >You frown and shake your head.
  114. "You know we can't do that."
  115. >Glados' mind shifts into the amulet as melancholy seeps into you.
  116. >Your frown deepens as you try to think of something to cheer her up.
  117. >You look around your office and-
  118. >A smile slowly crawls across your face.
  119. "Why would you want to conquer any of that boring stuff, Glados? You've already got something great right here."
  120. >The melancholy turns to confusion and annoyance as she returns.
  121. >{What are you babbling about, you daft colt?}
  122. >You gesture to the office.
  123. "You conquered this office. It may be small, but it is right next to a vault full of Equestrias most dangerous objects."
  124. >You give her a poke.
  125. "Which includes you."
  126. >You kind of hope she won't be some day.
  127. >The mixed emotions slowly turn to pride.
  128. >{Hmm. Yes, this will do. Now let's get to reorganizing my lair.}
  129. >You hold up a hand.
  130. "I'm vetoing black and red."
  131. >Rage explodes from her like lava from a volcano.
  132. >{What?! No you can't-}
  133. "Don't want anyone thinking I'm under your influence, now do we?"
  134. >{...Very well. How shall you redesign it?}
  135. >You shrug.
  136. "I don't know."
  137. >The anger, which had slipped away for a moment, was coming back.
  138. >{You don't know? Aren't stallions supposed to be good at this kind of thing?}
  139. "I hear they are, but I'm a man not a stallion."
  140. >{I am so angry that if I had a stomach I would vomit on you out of sheer rage.}
  141. >That's a thought.
  142. >You look to the empty corner by the door.
  143. "We could get a popcorn machine."
  144. >The anger is completely gone, replaced by the feeling of 'stop being retarded' in brainwave...shape?
  145. >Form?
  146. >{For what purpose?}
  147. "Well, if we get a popcorn machine we'll get visitors. So it'll kind of be like the ponies are coming to pay their respects to you."
  148. >She's silent for a moment as you put the folder away.
  149. >{You are wonderfully devious.}
  150. "Only when I need to help someone."
  151. >She's silent for another moment as you pull out some paperwork.
  152. >{What if you needed to help ponies by conquering them?}
  153.  
  154. _-_-_-_-_-_
  155.  
  156. >{We should get a pet.}
  157. >You are instantly on alert.
  158. >If Glados wants something nice, that usually means she'll try to use it for trouble.
  159. >Like that one time she asked for you to bring spicy food to the potluck.
  160. >Only pegasi do well with spicy stuff as you found out.
  161. >You made some jalapeno bottlecaps and while they were good, some of your coworkers weren't happy.
  162. >You were running water and milk for nearly the entire office, Glados cackling madly in your head.
  163. >{Oh, that was a good one. Those were actually good too. You should make them again.}
  164. >You frown at her, slowing the cart down so you can talk to her.
  165. "C'mon Glad, can't you try and be nice?"
  166. >{I could, but I won't.}
  167. >You sigh, looking over the cart briefly before continuing on.
  168. "You know Celestia-"
  169. >{I am already bored of this conversation.}
  170. "...Okay, what kind of pet would you like?"
  171. >{A cat.}
  172. "I'm guessing a black one?"
  173. >{Theeeeyyyy have lower adoption rates?}
  174. >You nod, waving at a pair of mares that held the door for you and your cart.
  175. "They do. On Earth at least. I haven't checked up on that kind of thing in Equestria."
  176. >A bit of nervousness starts to bubble over from her.
  177. "We both know I have one rule, Glados. Don't go poking around where you don't need to be."
  178. >A bit of fear starts to rise up as you think of her display case.
  179. >You put her there whenever she was bad or you went to bed.
  180. >You wore her nearly every waking moment otherwise.
  181. "I understand that you can get bored and that some stuff will slip over, but please don't go sorting through my head."
  182. >You drop the mental image of the display case and you can instantly feel her ease up.
  183. >She's silent for a moment, allowing you to pick up your pace.
  184. >{Would you say you are cruel, Anonymous?}
  185. "Do you think I am?"
  186. >{Mayhaps you are and you get some sick pleasure out of tormenting me.}
  187. >She probably got into your mental porn folder.
  188. >{I did not!}
  189. >You smile as embarrassment bleeds over from her.
  190. >{I would like to go in the display case now.}
  191. >You give her a tap and a smile.
  192. "Do you really want to?"
  193. >{...No.}
  194. >Your smile softens as you reach your destination and press an ID crystal against a small green pad.
  195. >{You are more perverse than any of my previous wearers. In fact, you may be the most perverse thing on this planet! I thought stallions were supposed to be pure and innocent but then you put me on.}
  196. >You smile as you push the life-like golem laden cart into the next room.
  197. "I told you already, I'm a man not a stallion."
  198.  
  199. _-_-_-_-_-_
  200.  
  201. >The golem worked and you couldn't be happier.
  202. >Glados lifts a hoof and gently runs it across her cheek.
  203. >"I still don't understand why you would do this."
  204. >You shrug, unable to keep the smile off of your face.
  205. "Think of it like this: that golem tries to suck pony souls into it. With you occupying it, and us putting some binders on you, two threats have been dealt with."
  206. >Some scholar that didn't want to deal with her aging parents had made the thing.
  207. >In the end, it had gobbled the mares soul up, forcing her to take care of her own body until it died.
  208. >After that, the golem simply stopped and was thankfully secured before it could nab anyone else.
  209. >No one's sure what happens to the souls it eats.
  210. >You shudder, trying to shake off the unpleasant thoughts.
  211. >Glados is fine since she...
  212. >You really wish you understood this, but the techs assured you she would be okay.
  213. >The golem, or as it was properly called The Caretaker Construct, adapted based on the resident soul.
  214. >With Glados attached around the neck, many changes happened very quickly, since it would try to match the users soul or...something.
  215. >The construct was just a bit shorter than Princess Luna and naturally included wings and horn.
  216. >The pitch black coat almost seemed to absorb light while a red mane would try to dance in a nonexistent wind.
  217. >The multiple inhibitors kept her from truly being able to do anything and her mane from actually doing the floaty thing.
  218. >She moves the hoof away from her cheek to take a look at the bracelet.
  219. >There were similar ones on each hoof and at the base of her horn and wings.
  220. >"Are all of these really necessary? I mean..."
  221. >She stops speaking, simply staring at the hoof as she moves it around.
  222. >Your smile drops a bit.
  223. >When was the last time she could do something so simple?
  224. >You nod to the guards before stepping forward to place a hand on her back.
  225. >She jumps in place, her head whipping around the room.
  226. >Her eyes settle on you and she starts to calm down.
  227. >"You...it really is odd how different you look when I'm not seeing you through a mirror."
  228. >Your smile widens as you chuckle.
  229. "Yeah, that's because you're using your own eyes."
  230. >She stares at you for a moment, seemingly lost in the words.
  231. >"My own eyes."
  232. >You nod.
  233. "Despite some incidents, you've been doing pretty good. So that means you get to stay in there for as long as you like, so long as you behave."
  234. >She scrunches up at that.
  235. >You love when the ponies do that, it's adorable.
  236. >"Behave? I will behave in whatever manner I see fit! I am-"
  237. >Her complaints are silenced by you running your hand along her cheek.
  238. >The poor girl looks like she was just hit by a train, but it has the intended affect.
  239. "Listen to me, Glados. IF you mess this up, not only will they take you off of that golem, but they will lock you up in one of the deeper vaults. I want to help you, I really do, but if you screw this up it's going to be like that time you were in that well."
  240. >You let that sink in as you step back to the control station.
  241. >As you watch her process this, one of the tech mares leans over to you.
  242. >"Do you think she'll be alright?"
  243. >You scratch at the back of your head as you look at the mare.
  244. "I sure hope so."
  245. >She chuckles to herself as she starts to walk away.
  246. >"At least she has some real teats you can twist now."
  247. >What?
  248. >You shake off the comment and turn back to see Glados shakily walking towards you.
  249. >You smile and move to meet her halfway.
  250. >She waves off any attempt to help once you arrive.
  251. >"I am not a foal and you are not my father. I am a mare and you will give me space to do as I please."
  252. >You grin and pull out your secret weapon.
  253. >A hand darts to her ear and she's putty under your fingers before she can object.
  254. >"Oooh. Whatever wizardry this is, do not stop."
  255. >You let her enjoy herself for a moment before slowly pulling your hand away.
  256. >She looks at you and the scrunch is back.
  257. >With a vengeance.
  258. >"I told you not to stop."
  259. >You grin as you lower yourself just a bit.
  260. "Well, you see, lunch is being served in half an hour. And today they've got daffodil sandwiches."
  261. >Her eyes widen and you think you see a bit of drool.
  262. >"I have yet to see this sandwich, but it sounds fit for a queen."
  263. >You stand back up and gesture towards the door.
  264. "After you, Your Highness."
  265. >She begins to march forward before hesitantly turning back to you.
  266. >"Do-do they have green tea?"
  267. "Don't you remember? I brought a thermos with some today."
  268. >Her wings shuffle and her ears flick about as she stares you down.
  269. >You tilt your head to the side, trying to get a read on what she's doing.
  270. "Um. Are you-"
  271. >"For you."
  272. >Why yes, you are a big guy.
  273. >You shake your head.
  274. "I'm sorry?"
  275. >"You said I would have to behave. I will behave for you."
  276. >She looks at you for another second before continuing her shaky march, a guard following as soon as she reaches the door.
  277. >You smile.
  278. >She's going to be okay.
  279.  
  280. _-_-_-_-_-_
  281.  
  282. >Glados had nearly licked her tray clean and when she was done with that she demanded other ponies food.
  283. >You were able to reel her back in by offering her your pudding cup.
  284. >Because of this, you're probably going to have to make something for the janitors that were working today.
  285. >She still has a bit in her mane and refuses to let you get it out.
  286. >Once that was over, the two of you, plus a guard, went to requisitions to get a couch for Glados to sit on while you work.
  287. >That place is funny.
  288. >You can get beds, chairs, spears, and magical artillery cannons.
  289. >"Sir, you can just sit down. I can move this by myself."
  290. >You nod as you grab the other end.
  291. "I'm sure you can, Argent. That doesn't mean I won't help."
  292. >She stares at you for a moment as she purses her lips.
  293. >"Sir-"
  294. "You know, I've been given the Equestrian Star of Service."
  295. >You got some medals and a bunch of other stuff for doing stuff that was easy for you, but dangerous to ponies.
  296. >One of them meant that you could give guards orders, up to a certain rank.
  297. >You thought it was a little crazy, so you never really pulled it out.
  298. >But ponies being stubborn and probably hurting themselves is a good time to use it, you think.
  299. >Argent purses her lips again.
  300. >A second later, her horn and her side of the couch light up in a silvery glow.
  301. >The couch is moved from the cart and quickly brought into your office.
  302. >The two of you set it against the wall before you look at her.
  303. "See how easy that was?"
  304. >She nods.
  305. >"Yes, sir."
  306. "And if anybody asks, you're free to say that you lifted all by yourself. And I, a stallion, certainly didn't give you orders to do otherwise."
  307. >She nods again.
  308. >"Thank you, sir."
  309. >You chuckle to yourself.
  310. "Thank you, Argent Aegis."
  311. >A hoof snaps up in salute.
  312. >"It was my honor, sir."
  313. >You wonder if you can order her to stop saying sir?
  314. >...
  315. >Why does it seem so quiet?
  316. >You look down and...
  317. >Oh.
  318. >You're not wearing her anymore.
  319. >This feels weird already.
  320. >Your head pops back up as you look around the office.
  321. >She was supposed to be-
  322. "Glados!"
  323. >The mare jumps, her head slamming into the top of the popcorn machine she was eating directly out of.
  324. >She turns to face you as best she can while trying to rub her head with a hoof.
  325. >She glares at you as bits of popcorn try to escape from her mouth.
  326. "You can't just eat from the machine like that."
  327. >She keeps up the glare as she continues chewing.
  328. >You're actually a little surprised, considering the mess she made earlier.
  329. >Must've remembered to chew with her mouth shut.
  330. >Argent moves to place herself by the door as Glados finishes chewing.
  331. >"I don't see why not! This popcorn machine is my shrine and I shall do with it as I please."
  332. >You smirk and cross your arms.
  333. "So you want to use your shrine to eat like a peasant?"
  334. >Her jaw drops and the dual tone red eyes flicker.
  335. >"You dare call me a peasant?"
  336. >You shake your head.
  337. "No, I'm just saying you have very poor table manners."
  338. >Her wings flair out.
  339. >"Such things are not important! I can feast in any way I desire."
  340. >You look at the ground beneath her.
  341. >There's mostly popcorn, but she's still dripping pudding.
  342. >You kind of want to give her more and see if the girls at the lab can figure out how she did that.
  343. "Well-"
  344. >"Anonymous."
  345. >Your eyes snap back up to see Glados' tongue flicking out.
  346. >"There-neh-I have popcorn stuck in my teeth."
  347. >You step behind your desk to get some toothpicks.
  348. >You still don't know how ponies used them.
  349. >"It-bleh-is almost as infuriating as you are."
  350. >You roll your eyes and smile as you return to her with the picks.
  351. >You pull one out and offer it to her.
  352. "Here, this'll help."
  353. >She looks at the pick for a moment, tongue still flicking about, before looking at you.
  354. >"I said it was infuriating, not that I want to get rid of it. I am going to personally remove every piece of this popcorn and I will relish every second of it."
  355. >You pull the pick back, a smile growing across your face.
  356. "Will you get the pudding too?"
  357. >She looks at herself and then down at the growing pile of pudding.
  358. >There's more on the floor than there was in the cup.
  359. >What did she do?!
  360. >She looks back to you, tongue still wagging.
  361. >"Do you-mlem-have any napkins?"
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