Nach Mir - Script

Nach Mir.
A devised piece by Malia Williams, Edyth Shinn, Evie McBride, Dylan Print and Michael Allen.





















Cast List.
In order of appearance.
















Act 1, Scene 1 - The Funeral.

The scene opens with funeral setting. The lights are bright white. The vicar is standing over the coffin. The family are sat around the ghost in a triangle formation. Everyone is sad and a bit unnerved. They do not notice the presence of the ghost. She has a bowed head and is sleeping.

Priest: And now,

	The priest puts his hat on the table next to the coffin

All but Ghost: Let us pray.

Everyone bowed their heads. The ghost wakes up and looks around. She stands and walks to the coffin and looks in. She gasps.

Black Out

Act 1, Scene 2 - Purgatory.

The lights are red. Every time a purgatory man speaks, white light fades in quickly and then out quickly after speaking. There are 3 chairs Downstage left facing the audience at an angle. The ghost is sat in the middle of these chairs and next to her is her angel and devil. Upstage middle is 3 chairs. 2 of them are left and behind slightly from each other angled to the audience and the third chair is opposite them.


Purgatory Man 1: Next!

The angel and devil grab the ghost’s arms and make them sit in the chair opposite the two purgatory men.

Purgatory Man 2: Intentional?

	The angel and devil nod her head for her.

Purgatory Man 1: Reason for death?

	The angel and devil whisper possible answers into her ear. The ghosts stops them

Ghost quietly: Suicide.

Purgatory Man 2: So you are saying you purposely threw away a free gift from god?


	The angel makes her head shake and the devil makes her head nod.

P Man 1: Do you have any regrets in life?

Angel and devil nod yes, very certainly.

P Man 2: Do you wis-

Ghost: Are you even going to ask me my name?

P Man 1: We know everything about you.

P Man 2: And what you say here. We just need you to face it.

P Man 1 swiped them back and the angel and devil grab the ghost and take her back to her seat.

Ghost, Devil and Angel does a chair duet while P Man 1 + 2 make small talk while making the new set. For the rest of the scene the lights stay red.

P Man 2: Can we send this one to hell pleeeease?

P Man 1: No! We can’t just do that! She did nothing wrong..

P Man 2: But we haven’t done that to anyone today!

P Man 1: Still it’s just-

P Man 2: And if we do we’ll-

P Man 1: No!

Black Out

Act 1, Scene 3 - Induction

The lights are dim and white. There is a bed made centre stage and a chair 		downstage left with its back to the audience. The ghost wakes up.

Ghost: One minute I’m dead and now I’m back in my apartment?

Guide: Ah! You’ve finally woken up. Welcome!

Ghost: Who are you?

Guide: I’m your guide for this place! Cause it is pretty massive!


Ghost: What place? Where am I!?

Guide: Keep up!

The guide stands up and wanders around the apartment.

Guide: There are clouds everywhere, you came here from purgatory... take a guess on
 where you are.

Ghost: *Gasps* I’m in hea-

Guide: Yes. Welcome to the biggest place in the universe! Actually, no, that’s
 	 scientifically wrong, heaven isn’t in the universe. It’s outside time and space and
	 if you think about it, it’s very contradictory because if it was in the universe than
 	 the universe wouldn’t be a vacuum because there would be enough particles to
	 fill it and in relation to the paradox that is-

The ghost puts her hand up to the guide signalling for him to shut up

Ghost: I’m not following..

Guide: Of course, I’m sorry. Are you hungry

The guide sits on the bed with the ghost.

Ghost: Shouldn’t hunger not be a thing..?

Guide: In theory but all your cells stil-

Ghost: I want sugar waffles.

Guide: Get your conscience on it! Click your fingers or get there attention some how.

Ghost: ok..

The ghost clicks here fingers and the angel and devil walk into the room through the audience in unison. They stand on opposite sides of the bed.

Ghost: I want  s u g a r  w a f f l e s.

Angel and Devil: On it.

The ghosts conscience leaves back through the audience in unison.

Guide: Sooo before the tour how about you freshen up! Woah, is that a hole? It goes straight throu-


	 The ghost covered the bullet wound.

Ghost: I think you should leave while I “freshen up”.

Guide: ok.. call me if you need me.

Ghost sarcastically: ok. Bye bye..

The guide leaves through the audience and the ghosts sighs. The ghosts conscience enter with a plate of sugar waffles and a fork in their right hand. The lights are still dim white.

Angel: Your sugar waffles.

Devil: Enjoy!

The ghost takes a bite of one of the sugar waffles, looks puzzled, then takes a bite of another one and still looks puzzled then her face lights up in delight and eats both in 4 seconds flat.

Angel: Mine is obviously the best, isn’t it?

Devil: I don’t know what your talking about.

Angel: Oh we’re going there, are we?

Devil: Oh yeah! Ok. Hold my earrings.

Devil passes her earrings to the ghost

Ghost: Right! Take your earrings back and break it up. Shoo now!

Ghost claps twice

Angel sassy: Wow that is so rude.

Devil: Yeah, we aren’t your slaves, we are a part of you.

Angel: Gosh, let’s just leave.

Devil: I agree, let’s not be around this toxic ghost.

Angel: ugh!

The angel and devil leave back through the audience. The ghost goes upstage and washes her face off with some wipes. The guide knocks on the door but the ghost doesn't realise so the guide lets himself in and sits on the bed oblivious with


the presence of the ghost and walks back to her bed half way there she looks up and jumps.

Ghost: I thought I was meant to call you inside??

Guide: Yeah well I got bored and you didn’t hear me knock.

Ghost to her self: for goodness sake

The ghosts sighs and goes to sit back to back on the bed with the guide

Ghost: it’s been one heck of a day..

Guide: I can imagine.

The guide turns to face the audience, the ghost stays the same way

Guide: Do you wanna talk about any thing?

They pause.

Ghost: What about that tour you mentioned?

Guide: Oh right lets go.

The get off the bed and start walking in the spot as they do this Big J and the angel lift up the table and bring it to the back of the stage to give the effect of walking.

Guide: Here is your key.

Ghost: Thanks

They stop walking. The ghost the opens the imaginary door and there is a flash of bright white light.

Ghost: Whooa.

The ghost shuts the imaginary door and the lights dim again.

Ghost: Bloody hel-

Guide: You can’t say that!

Ghost: Oh yeah. Sorry..

Guide: Right let’s try again..

Act 1, Scene 4 - Ein Marktplatz.

The lights are bright white again and car drivers are walking down the high street to their cars.

Ghost: These aren’t the same clouds outside my window. And where were the stairs?
	 We were so high up at the flat!

Guide: Very observant of you. Well the door we went through teleports you to the place
you need to get to depending on which key you use.

Ghost: So that exists and hunger is still a thing?

Guide: Don’t think to much into it or you’ll turn into a nerd like me.

The car drivers are now driving their cars.

Guide: So this is your normal high street as you would see it back on earth. You have all
 the same things as you would normally have.

Ghost: So how come there are so many closed down shops and so many cafes?

Guide: Because of the high street shopping crisis that’s occurring back on your planet.
 There’s probably a BBC Panorama show on it.

Everyone then breaks character and breaks the fourth wall but staring directly at the audience for a few seconds as this is a serious issue and there is a BBC Panorama show on this. The guide then turns back and the traffic resumes. The traffic comes centre stage and then the guide pushes the ghost into the cars. The ghost screams and the guide laughs. The cars drive past off stage and the ghost gets up and slaps the guide.

Ghost: What the bloody hel- heck was that for?

Guide: Yeah another thing, you can’t die here.

Ghost still shouting: Yeah but was that really necessary?

Guide: No but still funny.

There is suddenly a multitude of loud and slow thuds all the lights dim and there is a spotlight on Big J. The angel and devil are on there knees beside Big J to add emphasis on his presence. He enters front stage right. The ghost doesn’t notice his presence.

Ghost: What the frig is that??


Guide: You have quite the potty mouth, don’t you?

Ghost: Now is not the time to discuss my potty mouth

The ghost curls up into a ball on the floor.

Ghost: WE’RE GONNA DIE!!!

Guide: Relax. I just told you that was impossible and it’s just Jesus, we call him Big J but
 it’s gonna become Elderly J soon.

Big J has a slouched back and speaks like he has multiple forms of terminal lung cancer. Big J walks across stage very slowly during the next section.

Ghost: Damn, crucifixion has not done him well.

Guide: No, that’s why he’s on holiday because sending people back is-, I’ve said too
 much.

Ghost: Going back?

Big J is now off stage. The guide sighs. As the guide is explaining the ghost is very interested and excited about this opportunity.

Guide: Right, you can be sent back to earth to spectate what’s going on for a bit and
haunt some objects and speak to your relatives though profits and Ouija boards but there is a down so-

Ghost: So your telling me I can go back?

Guide: Yes but!

The ghost runs off stage. The guide sighs again.

Guide: I can’t lose another one, not again.

Black Out.

Act 1, Scene 5 - Mein Freund

The lights fade back in white and Big J is centre stage the ghost runs on and is out of breath.

Big J: Hello young girl, are you ok?



Ghost panting: Hello, sorry, my guide thingy told me about who you are and I just
  really wanted to meet you!

Big J: Oh that’s sweet.

The scene crosscuts into the guide in the audience looking for the ghost by having Big J and the ghost freezing. The guide is frantic and is looking around the audience and even asks the audience members if they have seen the ghost. This lasts for 12 seconds approximately

Ghost: My guide said your were on holiday? Am I interrupting?

Big J: No no, it’s fine. I’ll always have time for a child of god.

Ghost: Thank You! You are so sweet. Is your mother Mary still with you?

Big J: Yes. She lives  with God up stairs.

The scene cross cuts again to the guide finding the angel and devil. This time they are on the other side of the stage.

Guide: Please help me! Have you seen her?

Devil: Sorry I can’t help.

Angel: Haven’t seen her since 11.

Guide: But aren’t you a part of her?

The scene cross cuts back.

Big J: And then we’re was the time when I met him back in what is now New Zealand
         but you’ve most likely heard about that in bible.

Ghost: That’s amazing. You are so cool.

The guide then re-appears is the audience.

Guide faintly: Where are you? Hello? Ghosty?

Ghost on edge: How about we get a coffee or a tea? There are 200 cafes down
   town.

Big J: That sounds nice. But I really ought to-

Guide: Stop hiding!

Ghost still on edge: I insist.

The ghost walks on the spot while the set gets dragged in by the angel and devil to give the same effect of them moving.

Ghost: So rumour has it that you have the ability to send people back, as a ghost. Is it
           true?

Big J: Yes it is. But if you want to do it I have to see your conscience.

Ghost: Oh no worries.

The ghost clicks her fingers. The guide is standing on the other side of the stage, her conscience walks past him.

Guide: Where are you going?

Devil: I don’t know?

Angel: We never really know.

The angel and devil go to Big J. Big J whispers in the angel’s ear and she whispers back. He does the same to the devil.

Big J then nods.

Black Out

Act 1, Scene 6 - It’s over.

There is nothing on stage. Only the ghost, the guide in a corner however his face is hidden and the ghost’s conscience. The lights are blue. There is a spotlight for the ghost. She does a monologue about her life and the things that she has just been though.

Ghost: I need to figure out where I am. Hmm.

This guide stands up and with his hood up and looked down he walks past the ghost.

Ghost: Excuse me, where am I?

There is no response and the guide walks off stage

Ghost: Oh right. I’m dead. I need to look for clues. Sorry, Angel can you help?

Angel: You got us into this..

Ghost: right.

The sales man walks on stage and puts a box down. He holds up a news paper.

Salesman loudly: Get your papers! 60 pence a paper!

The ghost walks up to the man and the man doesn’t notices it. The man is still advertising the paper but miming.

Ghost: the Manchester times! I’m in Manchester! Meaning home is this way.

She looks up at the sky and then points to a random direction.

Ghost: Wait. Pause This way. I should’ve paid attention in Geography.

The ghost walks off. The lights black out. The ghost walks back on and the lights fade back in. This happens twice. During this she is quick and silent. No one else is on stage. On the third time the guide is in sat down in her path.

Ghost: Hello.. she pauses, oh wait I’m dead.

She continues to walk off stage however before she does the guide stands up and proceeds to speak.

Guide: You left me.

Ghost: what?

Guide: And now you don’t know who I am.

Ghost: You can-?

Guide: You left me! Like all the other people that had left me. I signed up to help others
and you left me. You are all so selfish. Every time. You never stop to think if I was real or not! You just leave me. I try to be nice and I try to help but I never get an opportunity . I could’ve willingly gone back this time. But now I’m stuck to die again. All because you didn’t let me finish my sentence. I tried to warn you. I did.

Ghost: What’s going to happen?

Guide: And now it matters.

The guide walks off stage.



Devil: You’re time is up. It’s time to restart.

Ghost: I’m going to die.

Angel: Not until you see the funeral.

Devil: For the last time.

Black out.

The lights come back in white. The same setting of the funeral returns from scene one. There is a chair dance then the goes back to the coffin and weeps.


The End.