June the 20th, 1972

Today, Duke Juisendorf approached me with a marvelous idea. He suggested we create a realm of our own. He mentioned something about sticks, but I was too overwhelmed by the idea of building a home for us to dwell in to really understand the implications.


June the 25th, 1972

I've been talking with Duke Juisendorf about the place we are going to build. Our long discussions have gone to places I never thought existed. I think my brain is undergoing actual physical changes. I had something of a vision, as well. All I can make out so far is a word starting with the letter A. Perhaps the vision will become clearer if I focus on it.


June the 26th, 1972

Duke Juisendorf suggested we start gathering resources for our project soon. I'm excited!


January the 1st, 1974

Duke Juisendorf took me outside to gather sticks today. And the day before that. And the day before that... I'm starting to wonder whether this was such a good idea after all.


September the 15th, 1977

If I see one more stick, I'm impaling myself with something. As long as it's not long and pointy... shit!


September the 16th, 1977

After I attempted to impale myself with a ball, Duke Juisendorf thought it was time to stop gathering sticks. We are now painting them. They're turning out quite beautiful, though I wish we had more colours.


August the 13th, 1985

We have finally finished painting all the sticks. It was hard work, but also relaxing. I apologised to Duke Juisendorf for getting frustrated about gathering sticks. I'm starting to understand his grand plan. Now for a little rest.


August the 15th, 1985

We have started building the walls of our palace. It's surprisingly easy, now that we've decided on the materials. There will be bricks! I'm so happy!


March the 3rd, 1990

The final brick was placed today. I'm overjoyed when I look at our handiwork.


March the 5th, 1990

Duke Juisendorf left it to me to decide the material for our ceiling. I'm quite nervous, but he assures me I'm ready for the job. I'm thinking of planks.


May the 29th, 1996

We have been nailing planks to the ceiling for over 6 years. I'm surprised this is taking so long. I think we're having too many coffee breaks.


June the 4th, 1996

I had almost forgotten about my vision. I was supposed to concentrate on it to see it more clearly. Today it hit me again, while I was nailing planks. I can almost certainly make out the letters A, U and T. It seems ominous somehow.


July the 10th, 1997

The ceiling is finally finished!


July the 13th, 1997

We've been stuck for 3 days. No matter which way we look at it, we can't think of the correct way to arrange the beautifully painted sticks.


July the 20th, 1997

We've been thinking about our stick problem non-stop for days, and today we finally struck gold. We're gonna sprinkle the sticks at random, at let the Gods of Randomness decide the order. I don't understand how this beautifully elegant solution didn't come to us earlier.


February the 29th, 2000

At first, when we were randomly dropping the sticks, it seemed hopeless. The Gods of Randomness just wouldn't give us a good order. It went on for over 2 years, but today we saw it. The sticks arrange themselves so that an agile person can climb them! What a brilliant phenomenon. The Gods of Randomness have surpassed themselves once more.


January the 1st, 2009

The order is complete! The sticks are in place, and you really can reach the top of the rooms! Oh the glory!


January the 20th, 2009

After celebrating our success with the sticks, we realised we don't know what to do next. We asked the Gods of Randomness for a sign, but we were disappointed.


February the 10th, 2009

Today, our prayers were answered. The Gods of Randomness didn't just give us a sign. They gave us 6 signs! The wisdom of our masters is truly infinite. Now to interpret the signs and place them in the right spots.


June the 11th, 2010

We've been trying to understand the signs for over a year, with little success. Are the Gods of Randomness playing a trick on us, or just testing us?


June the 22nd, 2010

Duke Juisendorf figured out the signs today! Oh what a magnificent day it is! It was there all along. HC, Normal, Rainink, Timer-un, Prön and Super Top Sikret. How could we have been so blind...


August the 3rd, 2014

We have figured out the correct spot for almost all of the signs. Only Prön and Super Top Sikret still elude us. We must once more pray to the Gods of Randomness.


August the 21st, 2014

The Gods of Randomness have delivered the answer once more! Half of it anyway. Under Prön, we must place the things most dear to us. This task will be easy.


December the 24th, 2014

Duke Juisendorf left it to me to figure out what to do with the last sign, Super Top Sikret. Little did he realise I have almost no imagination, and since it's Christmas Eve I'm getting a tree. I will decorate it to the best of my ability, and hope that it's good enough to satisfy my comrade.


January the 20th, 2015

Well, turns out it takes me more than one evening to cut down, move and decorate a Christmas tree. Christmas came and went, and now the tree seems pointless. Son of a bitch. At least it's ready now. I'm sure I'll find a use for it.


January the 25th, 2015

I've been trying to figure out a use for my tree, and I'm starting to panic. It's getting brown. I will try to google uses for a dead Christmas tree tomorrow.


January the 26th, 2015

I found it! Apparently a used Christmas tree makes an excellent auto-erotic device for men. I'm going to buy champagne and celebrate, and tomorrow I'm googling what the word "auto-erotic" means.


January the 27th, 2015

Oh my Gods of Randomness! What the shit is this! I googled the words "auto-erotic device", and the stuff that came up is abhorrent. I almost feel guilty for downing 2 bottles of champagne and puking it all out yesterday. But really, I can't believe people do that. The amount of defiled Christmas trees this world must hold... I can't even think about it. Fuck this, I'm throwing the tree in a wood chipper.


December the 20th, 2015

Duke Juisendorf and I took a break from our project. When I told him about the auto-erotic uses of a dead Christmas tree, he got severely depressed, and we spent the year trying to get his mental health back to normal. Now, however we're back in action. And I even figured out a solution to the dying Christmas tree problem. I will make a tree out of the sticks we gathered and painted! Even the decorations can be made from painted stick bits. This will be the best Christmas tree ever, and we can use it every year henceforth.


December the 18th, 2016

Turns out making a tree out of sticks takes a year. But it's done now! Everything is ready for our big Christmas celebration in our new home tomorrow! I can hardly wait.


December the 19th, 2016

We celebrated Christmas until I remember I don't like Christmas except for the food. And we forgot to gather food. The sticks would be edible but we painted them with lead paint. Oh well, the realm is still amazing. I'm going to try and persuade Duke Juisendorf open our realm to the public, so that everyone can enjoy it.

Oh and the vision... it all became clear to me while I was trying to help Duke Juisendorf over his depression. Turns out making a world out of sticks gives you a severe autism spectrum disorder. I regret nothing.

Thus concludes our adventure with sticks. We both hope the people who visit our home will like it as much as we do.