FRISK AND SANS

you're going to kill me bird aren't you.

god. well. it's obvious that neither of them were in a really good place to set about mending the shit they'd both done wrong. sans came from a shitty timeline and frisk came from a long string of timelines that more or less set them up to fail. even the pacifist route, in light of all their neutral routes, just sort of gave them this impression that they were a failure. and with the fourth wall coming along relatively soon after their arrival, this just sort of cemented to frisk that...they're not a very good Frisk, are they? And that cemented to Sans that not only did he impact that, but every version of him has impacted every version of Frisk across the board - perhaps negatively.

Talk about a rude wake up call.

So Sans resolved to be...better. To push less. Because their first conversation about the timelines and how they didn't kill people THAT TIME really set an unpleasant tone for how their CR would go. And even if Sans felt like he should be doing better, he did a SHITTY JOB OF IT. He had no idea how to talk to them, no idea how to relate to them, and no idea how to broach difficult subjects without bringing out the passive aggression that came so naturally to him. That scathing judgment would always come creeping back into conversation, especially since his reasoning as far as how to deal with Frisk was so inherently flawed. He could tell that they didn't think much of themself, so his reasoning was - emphasize how much they matter to other people. Emphasize that people care about them and would miss them if something were to happen. Underscore that they're the version of Frisk that people like, and the one that people want to keep around.

It didn't occur to him that this would just be guilting them. Look at how selfish you're being, Frisk. Look how awful it is. It's all YOUR fault. It's because you MADE them love you. So when Frisk withdrew and tried to keep things light, tried to work so very hard to keep things from going down that dark path, Sans wasn't satisfied with that, because he knew that was just a veneer over how troubled and lonely this kid was. And this whole time he was struggling not to think of them as an anomaly, but there was still that lingering mistrust and that lingering feeling of "maybe it's all for nothing."  If they just end up right back to the start, what's the point in trying? Were they right all along? Are they just a Frisk that no one could or should love? Are they just a failed prototype?

The Doubles event was what cemented to him that he's been an incredible burden on them in terms of just how much value they hold his words. How they've internalized everything he's said and used that as a weapon against themself. And he made that resolution to stop...being that. To stop being the reason a pair of children want to walk into the cauldron to hell. This wasn't without its own stumbling blocks, naturally, as he still had no idea how to really handle a couple of suicidal children. Suicide in monsters was just kind of a foreign and scattered thing, and he just plain didn't understand the active will to try and ERASE yourself from existence. So he blabs to the network that Frisk is suicidal. He steals the copies of Gaster's notes they made, breaking into Chara's room by proxy to do it (and using Shadow to do his dirty work no less). He basically backed them into a corner and then had the gall to get angry when they took his words to heart. Of course they were angry. And from his standpoint, they had every right to be angry. He'd done so many things wrong with them, and despite his resolve to stop being the reason they hurt, he can't ERASE the effect of his words from the past. He can't ERASE his judgments, his accusations, his guilting. He can't ERASE that he has hurt them, perhaps irredeemably.

But goddamnit.

It wasn't that simple.

He wasn't free, he realized; he's been touched by Frisk's soul. How much easier it would be to stay away forever.

I'm not sure they ever would have reached the comfort and ease of a perfect weird kid and weird uncle relationship. I think by the point their arc in Hadriel wound to a close, Sans would have been happy to call them a dear friend, but he would have been hesitant to assume they'd think the same of him without a sense of obligation to go with it. He felt their SOUL in his hand, and what's more is he offered them his in turn - a rarity that only Hermann and Newt have been privy to, and that only Frisk has ever touched and cradled with their own flesh. He felt them when they were happy, even if it was Love's influence, and that was the moment in which both of them could have their barriers down, well and truly and completely.

He wanted them to feel that way again. He wanted them to feel happy, and he wanted them to feel safe.

They're just a kid.

And he forgives them.