Dear Mr Sales Representative

I have been informed that we are to have a meeting tomorrow. I am using this email to inform you about my problems, so that you can prepare accordingly for the meeting.
This month, our phone bill was about 30% higher than the usual amount. I am suspecting that some of our employees are using the company's time and money for private phone calls. Perhaps to purchase illegal drugs, I don't know. But, what I know is that this will not stand. I need you to give me some way of spying on them, to stop them from using my phone as a mean for their ends.

In a possibly related incident (other employees needed money for illegal drugs?) two of our employees were robbed in the parking after the work hours. I have informed them that what happens to them after hours is not my responsibility , but their constant whinnying is boring me. I need a light for the car park. It has to be motion activated and not too powerful, I am not made of money. It has to be just strong enough to stop them from whinnying, but not strong enough for them to be able to find their car in a reasonable amount of time. It's so funny, watching them go left and right with that puzzled look on their face, looking at their watches every minute, knowing that their wife is waiting...

But, back to business. Some of my employees in the packing department are eating my chocolates. I just know it. I need you to give me evidence. Those chocolate were worth a lot of money, and in order to regain that money I had the whole packing department's wages cut. But that is not enough, I need to punish the criminal responsible, and you are going to help me find him.

Finally, yesterday I saw my Sales Manager playing some video game on the computer company gave him. It would have been easy to confront about it then, but I had a better idea. I need you to give me some kind of a spying program that I can put in all of the computers in my company. That program will, if the employee is playing games, report back to me; and, more importantly, will delete all of the users progress in the said game while I watch and laugh.


Yours truly
Miloš Ljubinković
Director of "Sweets 'R' Us"
Magical Kingdom, Sweet Street 33