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- 0
- 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000
- 2
- 00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:40,850
- What was going on there huh?
- 3
- 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,960
- We thought you were sleeping Daddy.
- 4
- 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,430
- How can l sleep with two Twinkie burglars roaming around?
- 5
- 00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:48,500
- Can we watch Dragon Tales please?
- 6
- 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:51,290
- Yeah. Why not why not?
- 7
- 00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:54,840
- Which one of these turns on the TV?
- 8
- 00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:11,380
- Honey l think you just opened the garage.
- 9
- 00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:13,490
- l'm just planning ahead
- l know
- 10
- 00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:19,590
- -P-yew! Was that a stinky-dink bug? -Good job.
- 11
- 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,560
- Whatever happened to
- the good old days...
- 12
- 00:02:21,770 --> 00:02:24,430
- ...when you pulled the knob a
- nd on came the boob tube?
- 13
- 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:27,300
- The O'Doyles got a universal
- remote control
- 14
- 00:02:27,510 --> 00:02:29,560
- One clicker controls everything
- 15
- 00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:32,740
- Makes life a lot easier
- for old people like you
- 16
- 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,810
- Well whoop-de-do
- for the O'Doyles
- 17
- 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:36,980
- --tree house?
- 18
- 00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:39,480
- l don't know Ask your father
- 19
- 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:40,950
- Ask me what?
- 20
- 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:44,880
- Do you think you'll have time
- to finish building the tree house ever?
- 21
- 00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:49,050
- Yeah Dad lt's kind of been halfway done for two months now.
- 22
- 00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:54,500
- All right l want to it's just l got a lot of things going on at work right now.
- 23
- 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:59,000
- But as soon as l'm done
- l'm on it l promise Hang in there
- 24
- 00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:04,660
- Hey look at Sundance wrestle his duck.
- 25
- 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,410
- Oh, no, that's not wrestling.
- 26
- 00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:11,410
- That's something you shouldn't know about for another 10 to 30 years.
- 27
- 00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:13,850
- Ten for you. Thirty for you.
- 28
- 00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:19,520
- Hey, Michael? l'll see you tonight at the swim meet?
- 29
- 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,280
- Swim meet.
- 30
- 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,660
- -l gotta go to that? -Yes.
- 31
- 00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:28,990
- -l'm kidding you. l'll be there. Okay? -All right. l love you, Michael.
- 32
- 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,330
- Forever and ever, babe.
- 33
- 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,300
- Mr. Newman.
- 34
- 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,530
- Kevin O'Doyle. Yeah. Always a pleasure.
- 35
- 00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:38,970
- What kind of stereo you got in that blue piece of shit?
- 36
- 00:03:39,180 --> 00:03:41,340
- You know what? l never checked, Kevin.
- 37
- 00:03:41,550 --> 00:03:43,980
- Yeah, well, my father's stereo is a Bose.
- 38
- 00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:46,980
- Your father's stereo blows?
- That's too bad.
- 39
- 00:03:47,190 --> 00:03:50,710
- No! l said--
- That's not what l said!
- 40
- 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,120
- His father's stereo blows!
- 41
- 00:03:57,430 --> 00:04:00,060
- Come on! Pay the man, let's go!
- 42
- 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,460
- -Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- -Good morning.
- 43
- 00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:10,110
- -Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- -Hello.
- 44
- 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:12,400
- -Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- -Hi.
- 45
- 00:04:13,410 --> 00:04:15,240
- Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- 46
- 00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,110
- -Good morning, Mr. Newman.
- -Man, Alice...
- 47
- 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,510
- ...l was stuck in traffic for an hour and a half. When's the meeting?
- 48
- 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,850
- -lt started already.
- -What?
- 49
- 00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:25,880
- Can l go to the bathroom?
- 50
- 00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:28,680
- Go to the bathroom.
- l told you, you don't have to ask me.
- 51
- 00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:37,960
- Well, the interesting thing, Prince Habeeboo...
- 52
- 00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:41,000
- ...is that the building codes in Manhattan will allow us--
- 53
- 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:43,200
- -Michael. -Sorry l'm late, sir.
- 54
- 00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:46,540
- Some moron in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot so--
- 55
- 00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:49,940
- Prince Habeeboo drive red Lamborghini.
- 56
- 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:53,580
- Red Lamborghini? l meant blue Ferrari.
- 57
- 00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:56,550
- ls this one of your partners?
- 58
- 00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,780
- Actually, Michael is just an associate.
- 59
- 00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:01,290
- But he is one of our brightest young architects.
- 60
- 00:05:01,490 --> 00:05:02,460
- Thank you.
- 61
- 00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:04,690
- Walk His Majesty through our design concept.
- 62
- 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,590
- With pleasure.
- 63
- 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,920
- -Prince Haboobee-- -Habeeboo!
- 64
- 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,630
- Prince Habeeboo.
- 65
- 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,330
- Habeeboo. l thought l said that.
- 66
- 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:18,200
- When Mr. Ammer explained to me the type of man you are...
- 67
- 00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:22,240
- ...a visionary who prides himself on originality...
- 68
- 00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:27,250
- ...l said to myself, ''Let's smash the mold and redefine elegance.''
- 69
- 00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:29,720
- So l present to you your restaurant.
- 70
- 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,410
- Where is-- Where's bar?
- 71
- 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:35,290
- Bar is-- Here's the bar. Now, the waterfall--
- 72
- 00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:36,550
- Make bar longer.
- 73
- 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,730
- Okay. We could cut into the atrium a little bit.
- 74
- 00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:46,460
- No atrium. Just make bar longer for Prince Habeeboo.
- 75
- 00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:47,640
- Really?
- 76
- 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,930
- -Still itchy? -You got it.
- 77
- 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,510
- And put big drain in floor for wet T-shirt contest.
- 78
- 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,240
- Now, you're kidding me, right?
- 79
- 00:05:58,450 --> 00:06:00,470
- Boob water's gotta go someplace, Michael.
- 80
- 00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:04,050
- Let's just take out the atrium and run with that and there's your drain.
- 81
- 00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:07,750
- -God. -l love it. lt is simply awesome.
- 82
- 00:06:08,330 --> 00:06:13,290
- Yeah. Basically you want me to design you an Arabian hoochie house?
- 83
- 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,970
- How dare you compare Prince Habeeboo's Bikini Hut...
- 84
- 00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:18,100
- -...to this hoochie house? -This idea's...
- 85
- 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,670
- ...got nothing to do with hoochies, Michael.
- 86
- 00:06:20,870 --> 00:06:22,370
- lt's like opposite of hoochie.
- 87
- 00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:24,380
- No disrespect, Prince Hubbida Hubbida.
- 88
- 00:06:24,590 --> 00:06:26,310
- -Hubba Bubba. -Habeeboo!
- 89
- 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,610
- Habeeboo! Hubba Bubba is chewing gum.
- 90
- 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:31,260
- Prince Habeeboo's not chewing gum.
- 91
- 00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:36,020
- Prince Habeeboo, we will--
- l will make this happen.
- 92
- 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:38,770
- John Ammer's office.
- 93
- 00:06:38,970 --> 00:06:41,940
- l hope that atrium idea didn't
- take too long to configure, Michael.
- 94
- 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,900
- Oh, there'll be other Junes in my life, sir.
- 95
- 00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:49,670
- See that parking garage
- over there on 56?
- 96
- 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:54,240
- Watsuhita wants to knock it down
- and build a luxury hotel.
- 97
- 00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:55,970
- -You got the commission? -Not yet.
- 98
- 00:06:56,180 --> 00:07:01,250
- l just need someone to come up with a design proposal. lntrigued?
- 99
- 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,350
- Hell, yes.
- 100
- 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,690
- l'm Fourth of July-ing with the kids. When l get back, l'm all over it.
- 101
- 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:12,260
- Great. Have a great Fourth of July with the kids. l'll put Swardson on it.
- 102
- 00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:16,270
- No, no. Absolutely not.
- l-- l-- Can't it just wait three days?
- 103
- 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,270
- These guys are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook.
- 104
- 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,000
- l guess l could talk to my wife.
- 105
- 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,870
- Great. See you later at happy hour with Prince Habadabee.
- 106
- 00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:31,380
- My son has a swim meet tonight that l have to get to s--
- 107
- 00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:33,350
- l'm just messing with you. We're good.
- 108
- 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,030
- Yeah, Ben!
- 109
- 00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:53,900
- That's my boy! That's my boy! Kid, you were great!
- 110
- 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,870
- You're not my dad.
- 111
- 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,470
- -As far as you know. -What?
- 112
- 00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:02,710
- l was just joking.
- 113
- 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,980
- ls he really my dad?
- 114
- 00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:09,520
- Come on, come on!
- Yes, Ben. Yes, you did it!
- 115
- 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:10,920
- Honey, you were so great.
- 116
- 00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:14,580
- Whoa, what are you, half a dolphin or something? That was incredible.
- 117
- 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,560
- You just got here, Dad.
- l saw you.
- 118
- 00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:20,160
- What do you mean l just got here?
- Why are you saying that?
- 119
- 00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:22,340
- l saw you.
- You jumped in there you swam here.
- 120
- 00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:26,130
- -Then what stroke was he doing, Dad?
- -He was doing the shut-up.
- 121
- 00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:31,010
- Hey. Good thing is Daddy was here to see you finish.
- 122
- 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,240
- He didn't see me finish.
- 123
- 00:08:32,450 --> 00:08:34,680
- He was hanging out with Ping Woo
- for some reason.
- 124
- 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,320
- -Yeah, what was that about, huh?
- -The kid was drowning.
- 125
- 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:38,640
- l'm gonna let him drown?
- 126
- 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,150
- Nobody goes drowning in my pool.
- 127
- 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,920
- How you doing? Bill Herlihy.
- Ben's coach. You must be Dad.
- 128
- 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,790
- Michael Speedo--
- Michael Newman. Sorry.
- 129
- 00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:49,960
- Big Ben, that was great progress out there, huh?
- 130
- 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,000
- Just remember, right arm out, head turns left. Left arm out--
- 131
- 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,830
- Head turns right. l know.
- l just forgot at the end.
- 132
- 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,060
- Well, that's all right.
- 133
- 00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,570
- You master that, people are gonna think you're a half a dolphin out there.
- 134
- 00:09:00,770 --> 00:09:02,830
- -Really?
- -Yeah.
- 135
- 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,110
- Cute.
- 136
- 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,940
- Hello? Mr. Ammer.
- 137
- 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:18,820
- Ben, honey, slow down.
- lt's not a race.
- 138
- 00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:20,720
- That's his second one in five minutes.
- 139
- 00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:22,620
- Keeps eating more and more.
- 140
- 00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:25,730
- He's like a machine.
- He can't still be hungry.
- 141
- 00:09:25,930 --> 00:09:29,430
- He's not. He's just doing whatever Michael's doing. lt's driving me crazy.
- 142
- 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:33,300
- Everything Michael's been doing lately is very unhealthy for him.
- 143
- 00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:35,870
- He's gonna kill himself.
- 144
- 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,240
- Like a signature building
- we're talking about.
- 145
- 00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:40,850
- Oh, my God.
- 146
- 00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:44,240
- Scared the crap out of me.
- 147
- 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:47,220
- Dad, how much longer are you gonna live?
- 148
- 00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:50,820
- -One minute.
- -One minute?
- 149
- 00:09:51,030 --> 00:09:53,120
- -Daddy's gonna die in one minute!
- -Oh, no, honey.
- 150
- 00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:54,690
- Don't worry. l'm not dying.
- 151
- 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:58,760
- l'm gonna live for 200 years.
- ls that long enough for you and me?
- 152
- 00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:03,060
- -Promise?
- -l promise. Swear. Come here.
- 153
- 00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:06,030
- You son of a bitch!
- 154
- 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:09,000
- Hey! There are families here!
- 155
- 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,540
- Show some respect, you pieces of shit!
- 156
- 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,040
- Go home and watch VH1, old man.
- 157
- 00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:18,080
- Don't light another damn one!
- 158
- 00:10:19,390 --> 00:10:21,910
- Benjamin. Benjamin. What am l holding?
- 159
- 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,920
- A quarter. Now, Grandma does not let me eat ice cream...
- 160
- 00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,720
- -...because of my diabetes.
- -True.
- 161
- 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:30,590
- But she says nothing, however, about a tasty quarter.
- 162
- 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,290
- Okay.
- 163
- 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,090
- All right. All right.
- 164
- 00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:40,030
- Very quickly, please, count to three because it tastes terrible.
- 165
- 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,570
- One, two, three.
- 166
- 00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:46,840
- Are you shitting me?
- 167
- 00:10:47,050 --> 00:10:49,810
- First he's eating like his father, now you're talking like him?
- 168
- 00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:52,380
- -Ben.
- -Don't you ever say that again.
- 169
- 00:10:52,590 --> 00:10:55,920
- -Sorry, Grandma. -How do you do that, Grandpa?
- 170
- 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,990
- A good magician never reveals his secrets.
- 171
- 00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:01,790
- Your daddy has wanted to know how l've done that trick...
- 172
- 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,120
- ...since he was your age.
- 173
- 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,730
- lsn't that true, son?
- 174
- 00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:07,260
- Hey, Michael. Michael, who are you talking to?
- 175
- 00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:10,460
- Jesus. l'm talking to my boss, Ma.
- Take it easy.
- 176
- 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,330
- Oh, yeah? Well, tell him to get a life.
- 177
- 00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:14,770
- You got family here.
- You're busy. Come on.
- 178
- 00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:16,310
- My mother says hello.
- 179
- 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,740
- Oh, he's such a big boy, isn't he?
- 180
- 00:11:18,950 --> 00:11:22,290
- On his big cell phone. Big boy.
- 181
- 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:27,830
- That's it. Get some sleep. Thank you Mr. Ammer. All right. Good night.
- 182
- 00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:30,470
- -Are you done? Can we relax now?
- -Sorry.
- 183
- 00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:34,540
- Eat me, grandpa!
- 184
- 00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:36,030
- You're dead.
- 185
- 00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:39,970
- -Oh, shit! -Yeah, you better run!
- 186
- 00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,970
- l kicked your father's ass in high school!
- 187
- 00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:43,510
- Now l'm gonna kick yours!
- 188
- 00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:46,440
- l hate that man.
- 189
- 00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:48,880
- Okay, good night, you two cowboys.
- 190
- 00:11:49,090 --> 00:11:51,580
- -Reach for the sky, Pocahontas.
- -No, back to bed.
- 191
- 00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:55,380
- Come on. Pocahontas is off duty.
- l'm out of here.
- 192
- 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,560
- You getting sick, sheriff?
- 193
- 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,060
- l don't got time to be sick, so no.
- 194
- 00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:06,130
- l need to watch this documentary
- on Asian architecture.
- 195
- 00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:09,070
- Well, you gotta get some rest sometime, sweetheart.
- 196
- 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,540
- Besides, the woodland creatures
- will laugh at you...
- 197
- 00:12:11,740 --> 00:12:14,340
- ...if you collapse trying to
- put up the tent this weekend.
- 198
- 00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:18,970
- Yeah. l forgot to tell you.
- 199
- 00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:21,510
- We gotta postpone the camping trip.
- 200
- 00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:24,080
- Ammer put me on a project.
- 201
- 00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:26,690
- lt's due Tuesday.
- lf l don't finish, l'm off it, so....
- 202
- 00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:29,050
- The kids have been talking about
- camping all year.
- 203
- 00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,350
- Think l don't know that?
- 204
- 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:32,830
- lt's just every choice l make,
- everything l do...
- 205
- 00:12:33,030 --> 00:12:34,930
- ...l disappoint somebody.
- 206
- 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,730
- Make sure you don't keep
- disappointing the wrong people.
- 207
- 00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,460
- l'm not out drinking or gambling or hitting on chicks.
- 208
- 00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:43,440
- l'm working my ass off so my family can have a better life...
- 209
- 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,400
- ...than l dreamed of when l was a kid.
- 210
- 00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:49,540
- The only way for that to happen is
- for me to watch this stinking show!
- 211
- 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,580
- So relax, hon.
- 212
- 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,610
- Are you kidding me?
- 213
- 00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:59,850
- Will you give me a break one time?
- 214
- 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,890
- Damn it! The O'Doyles got a stinking universal remote control.
- 215
- 00:13:04,090 --> 00:13:05,930
- We're gonna have one too.
- 216
- 00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:07,890
- l'm sick of this.
- 217
- 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,970
- You want me to open the garage for you?
- 218
- 00:13:27,950 --> 00:13:28,920
- Closed.
- 219
- 00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:32,620
- Closed.
- 220
- 00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:35,430
- Open.
- 221
- 00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:37,960
- Bed Bath & Beyond it is.
- 222
- 00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:44,960
- Hey, man?
- 223
- 00:13:45,170 --> 00:13:48,100
- You guys got any universal remote
- controls in there?
- 224
- 00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:51,170
- -For a shower curtain or a bathmat?
- -For a television.
- 225
- 00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:54,310
- l don't think so. Maybe for a blanket?
- 226
- 00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:56,100
- You got a remote for a blanket?
- 227
- 00:13:56,850 --> 00:13:59,280
- Sorry, l don't work here.
- l'm waiting for my friends.
- 228
- 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:00,850
- You're kidding me.
- 229
- 00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:04,080
- Actually, yes. l don't have any friends. Will you be my friend?
- 230
- 00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:09,850
- Wow, man.
- 231
- 00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:15,590
- Bed. Bed.
- 232
- 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,560
- Bath. Bath.
- 233
- 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,460
- Bed.
- 234
- 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,300
- So tired of my life.
- 235
- 00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:32,210
- Beyond?
- 236
- 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,080
- Sorry to sneak up on you. l just--
- 237
- 00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:13,590
- You guys got a universal remote control back here?
- 238
- 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,220
- Something stinks like stale french fries.
- 239
- 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,570
- All right, that's probably me.
- 240
- 00:15:22,770 --> 00:15:25,560
- You know, fast food shortens your life.
- 241
- 00:15:25,770 --> 00:15:27,000
- Yeah, that's what l heard.
- 242
- 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,370
- But the way my life's been going lately, that ain't such a bad thing.
- 243
- 00:15:30,570 --> 00:15:32,740
- You're looking for a universal remote control?
- 244
- 00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:35,380
- Yeah. Just one device to do it all for me...
- 245
- 00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:39,710
- ...make my life a little easier, quicker, not so damn complicated.
- 246
- 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,350
- l'm not supposed to do this, but you seem like a good guy.
- 247
- 00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:45,180
- Hey. Somebody noticed. Thank you.
- 248
- 00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:47,450
- l'm gonna show you a remote we just got in...
- 249
- 00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:50,220
- ...that's probably the most advanced piece of technology...
- 250
- 00:15:50,430 --> 00:15:51,520
- ...we have in this place.
- 251
- 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:54,630
- -Sounds sweet. -lt is sweet.
- 252
- 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:59,460
- The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.
- 253
- 00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:04,400
- l guess the O'Doyles' remote can bite my advanced-technological ass then.
- 254
- 00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:07,100
- l don't know the O'Doyles...
- 255
- 00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:09,970
- ...but they can bite it hard.
- 256
- 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:11,550
- Yeah.
- 257
- 00:16:11,750 --> 00:16:13,150
- Come in the back with me.
- 258
- 00:16:13,650 --> 00:16:15,170
- Okay.
- 259
- 00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:18,380
- This is-- This is very nice of you.
- 260
- 00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:21,730
- -What's your name, anyways?
- -Call me Morty.
- 261
- 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:23,230
- Morty, l'm Michael Newman.
- 262
- 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,700
- Michael Newman.
- 263
- 00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:29,440
- l'm about to rock your world.
- 264
- 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,070
- Okay.
- 265
- 00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:44,220
- l gotta be honest with you.
- This place looks bigger from the outside.
- 266
- 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,190
- Just kidding.
- 267
- 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,960
- Hey, hey.
- 268
- 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,880
- l think maybe there in the middle?
- 269
- 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,960
- Sneaky.
- 270
- 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,470
- Where's the box? Does it come with directions?
- 271
- 00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:34,200
- Not necessary.
- 272
- 00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:37,970
- Just point, click.
- 273
- 00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:40,310
- Eventually, it will program itself.
- 274
- 00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:44,210
- How much is this thing?
- 275
- 00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:46,910
- Because l ain't exactly Thurston Howell, you know?
- 276
- 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:50,420
- Lucky for you it's not in the bar-code system yet.
- 277
- 00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,890
- So l'm gonna have to just give it to you.
- 278
- 00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:56,530
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What's the catch here, man?
- 279
- 00:17:56,730 --> 00:18:00,170
- Want me to take my shirt off for you? Because l don't play for that team.
- 280
- 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:03,060
- Hey. Man, get out of here.
- 281
- 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,240
- Why are you doing this, then?
- 282
- 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:09,170
- Because good guys need a break
- every once in a while.
- 283
- 00:18:10,180 --> 00:18:11,370
- Take it.
- 284
- 00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:13,180
- Enjoy.
- 285
- 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:17,340
- All right.
- 286
- 00:18:17,550 --> 00:18:19,850
- Only one thing you need to know, Michael.
- 287
- 00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:22,720
- This item is nonreturnable.
- 288
- 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,450
- Why would l wanna return something l got for free?
- 289
- 00:18:47,850 --> 00:18:50,720
- Twinkie. You don't need it. You don't need it, man.
- 290
- 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,220
- You do need a Yodel, though.
- Okay. Good job.
- 291
- 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,250
- Let's see what you got, mate.
- 292
- 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:08,960
- Look at me, turning my own TV on.
- l'm a freaking whiz kid.
- 293
- 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,000
- --residential architecture....
- 294
- 00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:14,070
- -So l talked to the kids.
- -Oh, yeah?
- 295
- 00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:17,110
- They're very understanding about not going camping this weekend.
- 296
- 00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:20,070
- -Great.
- -They could have a sleepover instead.
- 297
- 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,540
- That's a great idea.
- Thank you, thank you.
- 298
- 00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:25,380
- Thanks for being so cool about this too.
- 299
- 00:19:25,590 --> 00:19:28,020
- -Can l ask you something?
- -Yes.
- 300
- 00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:32,180
- After you do all this work and become a big player at your company...
- 301
- 00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:34,690
- ...do you think you're gonna have more time for us...
- 302
- 00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:37,420
- ...or are things just gonna get even more out of control?
- 303
- 00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:40,500
- Wait. When l get to that place
- and become a boss...
- 304
- 00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:43,360
- ...a millionaire, a big shot, the first thing l'm gonna do...
- 305
- 00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:46,230
- ...is hire a bunch of idiots just like me to do all my work.
- 306
- 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,640
- So then you, me and the kids can do whatever the hell we want.
- 307
- 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,780
- You just gotta give me some time.
- 308
- 00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:55,980
- Don't give me that look.
- 309
- 00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:59,520
- l'm just saying, give me some support.
- All right?
- 310
- 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,980
- l love you. Go to sleep.
- 311
- 00:20:02,190 --> 00:20:05,250
- -Just think about it, Michael. -Absolutely.
- 312
- 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:06,650
- And stop with the Yodels.
- 313
- 00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:09,060
- -You're gonna wake up 400 pounds.
- -Okay.
- 314
- 00:20:21,580 --> 00:20:25,340
- Hey, hey, hey. Keep it down, dude. Everybody's sleeping.
- 315
- 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:28,870
- You gotta poop again?
- 316
- 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,250
- Why don't you do the humpy-pumpy on the duck, okay?
- 317
- 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:38,610
- Will you just hold it in for five minutes and keep the freaking volume down?
- 318
- 00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:05,610
- l guess when you combine...
- 319
- 00:21:05,820 --> 00:21:09,220
- ...mass quantities of cough syrup with Yodels...
- 320
- 00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:11,580
- ...you get acid.
- 321
- 00:21:15,430 --> 00:21:16,760
- Go.
- 322
- 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,050
- Hey, you said you gotta go. Go already, man.
- 323
- 00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:35,450
- Sniffy Longdroppings, today.
- 324
- 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,150
- Holy motherfu--!
- 325
- 00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:12,520
- Yeah, l mean, you're right.
- ln the short run...
- 326
- 00:22:12,730 --> 00:22:15,200
- ...plastic surgery is a hassle.
- 327
- 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,730
- But six months later...
- 328
- 00:22:17,930 --> 00:22:19,600
- ...l'm gonna have a face and a body...
- 329
- 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,170
- ...that's gonna get me to places
- where l wanna be.
- 330
- 00:22:24,270 --> 00:22:27,330
- Oh, my mother, typical you know, she says:
- 331
- 00:22:27,540 --> 00:22:30,710
- ''Oh, this procedure is too risky.''
- 332
- 00:22:30,910 --> 00:22:34,280
- lf Samantha wanted her cheekbones shaved down, l think l'd freak out too.
- 333
- 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,610
- l know, but l just think, you know,
- they're too Slavic.
- 334
- 00:22:37,820 --> 00:22:39,450
- You should get some work done.
- 335
- 00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:43,090
- Then maybe Michael will wanna
- hang out with you too.
- 336
- 00:22:44,890 --> 00:22:48,350
- Morning, Michael.
- You're looking very crappy today.
- 337
- 00:22:48,570 --> 00:22:51,630
- Morning, Janine, you're looking very Slavic.
- 338
- 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,900
- You're just jealous because Donna and l are going to the gym...
- 339
- 00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:59,200
- ...and all the guys are gonna
- be hitting on us.
- 340
- 00:23:03,780 --> 00:23:06,610
- Michael knows
- he's my one and only.
- 341
- 00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:08,040
- Forever and ever, babe.
- 342
- 00:23:08,850 --> 00:23:12,150
- Sorry about last night.
- And l love you. l'm s--
- 343
- 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:14,820
- Oh, my God. l want that so bad.
- 344
- 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:19,930
- A husband that l can kiss and
- love and give juice to.
- 345
- 00:23:20,130 --> 00:23:23,900
- You've already cheated on three
- different husbands with their brothers.
- 346
- 00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:26,900
- l think you've given enough
- juice to everybody.
- 347
- 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,100
- Love juice.
- 348
- 00:23:30,570 --> 00:23:33,010
- You know way too much about me.
- 349
- 00:23:33,210 --> 00:23:36,110
- l should never have done that Montel Williams show.
- 350
- 00:23:36,310 --> 00:23:38,180
- Even Montel Williams thinks you're crazy...
- 351
- 00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:39,710
- ...and he's seen a lot of shit.
- 352
- 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,910
- l was desperate for companionship!
- 353
- 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:44,850
- All of my husbands....
- 354
- 00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:47,520
- All of them have emotionally
- abandoned me.
- 355
- 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,490
- They went to work. You had sex with their unemployed brothers.
- 356
- 00:23:51,690 --> 00:23:53,660
- -You're a horndog.
- -Michael.
- 357
- 00:23:53,860 --> 00:23:55,990
- -Okay, sweetie. Calm it down.
- -No, no!
- 358
- 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,600
- l have had self-esteem issues
- since l was a kid.
- 359
- 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,800
- l had a rabbit named Pepper.
- And that rabbit abandoned me too!
- 360
- 00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:06,600
- Even the rabbit did! Even the rabb--
- 361
- 00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:13,770
- Don't look at me!
- 362
- 00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:16,390
- -What's wrong with me?
- -Bunny rabbit, bunny--
- 363
- 00:24:19,590 --> 00:24:23,030
- Here's the pitch to Matsui. A deep drive.
- 364
- 00:24:23,230 --> 00:24:25,460
- Oh, my, it's out of here!
- 365
- 00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:30,600
- A two-run shot into the right-field seats for Hideki Matsui.
- 366
- 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,000
- l'm sorry. What was that?
- 367
- 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,830
- She has so many problems. Why do you have to be so mean?
- 368
- 00:24:37,470 --> 00:24:40,100
- l don't know, l-- Hello.
- 369
- 00:24:41,910 --> 00:24:43,570
- l gotta go.
- 370
- 00:24:47,550 --> 00:24:49,750
- Yeah, good RoboDog.
- 371
- 00:24:49,950 --> 00:24:52,420
- And he can bark in over six different languages.
- 372
- 00:24:52,620 --> 00:24:54,320
- lt's so cool.
- 373
- 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,290
- Yeah, it's much cooler than your stupid, human dog.
- 374
- 00:24:57,490 --> 00:25:00,360
- Hey, Dad, see Kevin's new robot dog?
- 375
- 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,290
- Yeah, yeah. Very nice.
- 376
- 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:06,090
- ''Very nice''? This thing is worth
- more than your car.
- 377
- 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,270
- -Not anymore it ain't.
- -RoboDog!
- 378
- 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:20,150
- Hey, hey, hey.
- 379
- 00:25:20,350 --> 00:25:24,720
- Okay. ls this some sort of reality show? Are you the host?
- 380
- 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,320
- Morty? Where are the cameras?
- 381
- 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:32,290
- Got everybody in on it, huh?
- Sundance did very well also.
- 382
- 00:25:33,430 --> 00:25:37,630
- All right, America! Have your laugh! I'm an idiot!
- 383
- 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,290
- Donna, l'm gonna get you!
- 384
- 00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,160
- Fast-forward.
- 385
- 00:25:43,870 --> 00:25:45,670
- Nobody's laughing at you, Michael.
- 386
- 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:51,310
- You wanted a universal remote control that remote-controls your universe.
- 387
- 00:25:52,450 --> 00:25:55,820
- Yeah, but what controls my dance skills?
- 388
- 00:26:03,690 --> 00:26:04,850
- Oh, Morty likes it too.
- 389
- 00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:09,000
- Michael, just hit menu.
- 390
- 00:26:09,870 --> 00:26:10,990
- On the remote?
- 391
- 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,860
- No, the menu at the Red Lobster. Yes, on the remote.
- 392
- 00:26:20,790 --> 00:26:22,050
- Where are we?
- 393
- 00:26:26,490 --> 00:26:28,790
- -Go, Michael, go!
- -One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.
- 394
- 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,960
- -What have I got here?
- -Two, three.
- 395
- 00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:34,660
- Cough syrup's kicking in again.
- 396
- 00:26:34,870 --> 00:26:38,030
- -We have a boy!
- -Is it gonna work?
- 397
- 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:39,360
- What is this?
- 398
- 00:26:39,570 --> 00:26:42,170
- -All right, I love you, Michael. -Your life menu.
- 399
- 00:26:43,140 --> 00:26:44,970
- My life has a commentary?
- 400
- 00:26:45,180 --> 00:26:47,480
- lt's chock-full of goodies.
- 401
- 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,410
- -Click it.
- -Click it.
- 402
- 00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:54,310
- This is last Tuesday.
- 403
- 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:58,510
- Michael was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his lunch order.
- 404
- 00:26:58,730 --> 00:27:00,280
- Who's that, James Earl Jones?
- 405
- 00:27:00,490 --> 00:27:02,980
- James Earl does a lot of voice-over work.
- 406
- 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,530
- But his anticipation quickly turned to dismay...
- 407
- 00:27:05,730 --> 00:27:08,330
- ...as he realized Alice had brought him a cheeseburger...
- 408
- 00:27:08,530 --> 00:27:10,370
- ...instead of a hamburger as he requested.
- 409
- 00:27:10,570 --> 00:27:12,600
- A cheeseburger? l said a hamburger.
- 410
- 00:27:12,810 --> 00:27:13,970
- She always does this to me.
- 411
- 00:27:14,170 --> 00:27:17,070
- Michael considered demanding that Alice scrape the cheese off...
- 412
- 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,300
- ...but decided not to...
- 413
- 00:27:18,510 --> 00:27:20,070
- ...fearing that Alice may spit in...
- 414
- 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,840
- ...or otherwise defile the burger in some manner.
- 415
- 00:27:24,050 --> 00:27:25,680
- A wise decision...
- 416
- 00:27:25,890 --> 00:27:29,950
- ...for that was exactly
- what Alice was planning to do.
- 417
- 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,590
- -Are you kidding me?
- -Sneaky.
- 418
- 00:27:33,790 --> 00:27:36,020
- My God.
- 419
- 00:27:39,670 --> 00:27:41,760
- What else we got here?
- 420
- 00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:45,800
- -''Making of''?
- -Just click.
- 421
- 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,810
- Hey, hey, psychedelic.
- Where are we?
- 422
- 00:27:51,340 --> 00:27:53,340
- ls this a porno or something?
- 423
- 00:27:53,550 --> 00:27:55,910
- Oh, Ted. Oh, Teddy!
- 424
- 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,380
- ls that my parents?
- 425
- 00:27:57,580 --> 00:27:59,950
- They're making you.
- Like bunny rabbits.
- 426
- 00:28:00,150 --> 00:28:02,850
- -That's the spot.
- -Smack my heinie!
- 427
- 00:28:03,060 --> 00:28:06,290
- Change the channel!
- How do you do this?
- 428
- 00:28:07,590 --> 00:28:08,990
- l can't see.
- 429
- 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,260
- -What happened?
- -What--?
- 430
- 00:28:12,470 --> 00:28:16,900
- The floor is so mushy and slippery.
- Feels good on my feet.
- 431
- 00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:20,230
- Check it out.
- You hit the fast-forward button.
- 432
- 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,000
- l believe we're sometime
- after your conception.
- 433
- 00:28:23,210 --> 00:28:25,540
- Okay, very good, Mrs. Newman.
- 434
- 00:28:25,750 --> 00:28:28,840
- No! We're in my mother's vagina?
- 435
- 00:28:29,050 --> 00:28:31,740
- Again. And push.
- 436
- 00:28:31,950 --> 00:28:34,780
- -lt's a girl.
- -lt's a girl!
- 437
- 00:28:34,990 --> 00:28:37,980
- -Oh, lt's a girl. Thank you so much.
- -Thank you for that.
- 438
- 00:28:38,190 --> 00:28:40,660
- Wait a minute. l'm sorry,
- it might be a boy.
- 439
- 00:28:40,860 --> 00:28:42,760
- What do you mean, ''might be''?
- What is that?
- 440
- 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,160
- Maybe that's a penis.
- 441
- 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,920
- Maybe that's a pe--?
- That's a penis. That's my penis.
- 442
- 00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:50,260
- Can l see that?
- Can you bring that a little closer?
- 443
- 00:28:50,470 --> 00:28:51,440
- See?
- 444
- 00:28:51,870 --> 00:28:53,900
- -That's a tiny schmeckel.
- -Yeah?
- 445
- 00:28:54,110 --> 00:28:55,570
- -We have a boy!
- -We have a boy!
- 446
- 00:28:55,780 --> 00:29:00,040
- Your mother must have
- some superpower eyesight...
- 447
- 00:29:00,250 --> 00:29:03,180
- ...because l didn't see anything.
- 448
- 00:29:03,380 --> 00:29:04,580
- Let's get out of here.
- 449
- 00:29:06,850 --> 00:29:08,820
- So if you think about it...
- 450
- 00:29:09,020 --> 00:29:12,550
- ...l can reexperience
- any part of my life l want to.
- 451
- 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,280
- lt's amazing.
- 452
- 00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:18,830
- What happened? Oh, God
- what did l do?
- 453
- 00:29:19,030 --> 00:29:21,120
- Hello? How do l
- get you back here, pal?
- 454
- 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:23,370
- Gotcha.
- 455
- 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,230
- l'm not freaked out enough?
- 456
- 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,270
- lt's simple. Think of a time and a place...
- 457
- 00:29:28,470 --> 00:29:31,030
- ...hit rewind, and you're there.
- 458
- 00:29:32,180 --> 00:29:34,670
- Time and a place. Time and a place.
- 459
- 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,550
- Oh, my God. Lake Winnipesaukee.
- 460
- 00:29:44,020 --> 00:29:46,250
- That's me in the Jets shirt.
- 461
- 00:29:46,460 --> 00:29:48,120
- Go, little me, go!
- 462
- 00:29:51,530 --> 00:29:53,500
- Good hands! Nice hands.
- 463
- 00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:54,930
- Michael!
- 464
- 00:29:55,430 --> 00:29:59,730
- Michael, dinner's almost ready.
- lnvite your friends if you want to.
- 465
- 00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:03,780
- So any of you wanna come by my tent for some supper?
- 466
- 00:30:03,980 --> 00:30:06,910
- Or we could eat at my Winnebago
- and watch Three's Company.
- 467
- 00:30:09,650 --> 00:30:11,240
- Three's Company.
- 468
- 00:30:11,780 --> 00:30:14,080
- That's humiliating.
- 469
- 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,910
- Mom, why can't we camp in an RV
- like every other family?
- 470
- 00:30:20,130 --> 00:30:21,960
- Oh, come on. You call that camping?
- 471
- 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,760
- How can you get close to nature
- in a tin can like that?
- 472
- 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,460
- Plus, it's more fun to have to
- keep each other warm at night.
- 473
- 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,590
- Don't you know it.
- 474
- 00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:42,480
- -No cupcakes yet.
- -But l'm starving.
- 475
- 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,950
- l agree with you, Michael.
- You know how hungry l am?
- 476
- 00:30:45,150 --> 00:30:48,140
- l am so hungry,
- l could eat this.
- 477
- 00:30:48,350 --> 00:30:50,820
- Oh, this is where the quarter
- trick started.
- 478
- 00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:58,960
- How the heck did he do that?
- 479
- 00:30:59,170 --> 00:31:02,330
- Oh, it's a trick coin you
- buy at a magic shop.
- 480
- 00:31:02,540 --> 00:31:04,560
- l just couldn't let him
- know l knew that.
- 481
- 00:31:04,770 --> 00:31:06,240
- That's sweet.
- 482
- 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,370
- Now, l gotta get back to work,
- so hit play.
- 483
- 00:31:17,430 --> 00:31:21,020
- lt's a very powerful device.
- Use it with caution.
- 484
- 00:31:21,230 --> 00:31:22,660
- Okay.
- 485
- 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,190
- Who are you?
- 486
- 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,490
- You know who l am.
- 487
- 00:31:28,540 --> 00:31:29,660
- Morty?
- 488
- 00:31:29,870 --> 00:31:32,360
- lf you have any questions...
- 489
- 00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:34,570
- ...call me.
- 490
- 00:31:43,020 --> 00:31:47,850
- No, Linda, l think Stacy
- gets the most-beautiful-feet award.
- 491
- 00:31:48,060 --> 00:31:49,580
- You wanted to see me?
- 492
- 00:31:49,790 --> 00:31:52,850
- Michael. Look, l'm heading out to the Hamptons in a couple of minutes.
- 493
- 00:31:53,060 --> 00:31:54,190
- l'm counting on you.
- 494
- 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,460
- This hotel project? lt's a big fish.
- 495
- 00:31:56,670 --> 00:32:00,530
- You reel it in for me and it's ''Howdy, partner.''
- 496
- 00:32:04,010 --> 00:32:05,410
- Okay. Thank you.
- 497
- 00:32:05,610 --> 00:32:09,340
- Screw it up, though, and it's ''Back to the mailroom, atrium boy.''
- 498
- 00:32:11,950 --> 00:32:13,250
- Mr. Ammer, Denise just called.
- 499
- 00:32:13,450 --> 00:32:16,820
- She's gotta go to rehab again, so she can't make it to the Hamptons.
- 500
- 00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:19,250
- l'm gonna be alone on the Fourth of July?
- 501
- 00:32:19,620 --> 00:32:22,350
- Mr. Ammer, if you need female
- companionship this weekend...
- 502
- 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,050
- ...my wife's friend Janine, wow.
- 503
- 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,830
- Really? What's she like?
- 504
- 00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:35,270
- Let's just say she will eat you up, sir.
- 505
- 00:32:37,410 --> 00:32:38,960
- Excuse me. l'm sorry to interrupt...
- 506
- 00:32:39,180 --> 00:32:41,300
- -...but this is kind of important.
- -Okay.
- 507
- 00:32:43,210 --> 00:32:45,270
- -Go to the bathroom.
- -Okay.
- 508
- 00:32:56,490 --> 00:32:59,520
- Dude! You suck so bad.
- 509
- 00:32:59,730 --> 00:33:01,790
- Do not. Hey, Dad.
- 510
- 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,760
- How you doing, buddy?
- Playing some catch?
- 511
- 00:33:03,970 --> 00:33:07,800
- Actually, we're playing some drop,
- because Ben hasn't caught one yet.
- 512
- 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,770
- Darn it.
- 513
- 00:33:23,750 --> 00:33:25,950
- You're a regular Derek Jeter yourself, O'Doyle.
- 514
- 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,810
- -Love you, kid.
- -Love you too, Dad.
- 515
- 00:33:29,590 --> 00:33:32,120
- Mommy!
- 516
- 00:33:32,930 --> 00:33:35,590
- No, l know. Well l thought she should've gotten voted off.
- 517
- 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,230
- But did you see her Kate Spade handbag? lt was gorgeous.
- 518
- 00:33:38,430 --> 00:33:41,060
- Wait, hold on a second, Trudy.
- l gotta say hi to your son.
- 519
- 00:33:41,270 --> 00:33:45,300
- -l told your parents to come for dinner. -Really? That sounds good.
- 520
- 00:33:45,510 --> 00:33:47,910
- lt'd be fun for them to be here for the sleepover.
- 521
- 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,410
- Okay, so great. Yeah.
- 522
- 00:33:51,610 --> 00:33:54,010
- We'll see you guys later.
- Okay, bye-bye.
- 523
- 00:33:54,220 --> 00:33:57,340
- lt's not gonna kill you to eat dinner with your family, sweetie.
- 524
- 00:33:57,550 --> 00:34:00,390
- l know, l just gotta build
- an entire model tonight.
- 525
- 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:05,180
- -l'm the leader!
- -No, l'm the leader!
- 526
- 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,100
- Go say hi to Daddy. Go on.
- 527
- 00:34:12,100 --> 00:34:14,570
- l can't take a whole night of this.
- 528
- 00:34:14,770 --> 00:34:18,070
- -And l'm not going to.
- -Q, R, S, T, U--
- 529
- 00:34:24,150 --> 00:34:25,550
- Cool.
- 530
- 00:34:25,750 --> 00:34:28,950
- l can skip chapters.
- 531
- 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:36,090
- What a family.
- 532
- 00:34:37,790 --> 00:34:41,560
- All right, let's
- get dinner over with. Next.
- 533
- 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,200
- Next.
- 534
- 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,430
- Everyone's done but you, buddy.
- Let's go.
- 535
- 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,870
- Will you stop already?
- 536
- 00:34:51,070 --> 00:34:54,940
- Oh, boy, Dad's quarter trick.
- l can't wait not to see it.
- 537
- 00:34:56,910 --> 00:34:58,710
- Alone in my basement at last.
- 538
- 00:34:58,910 --> 00:35:02,980
- Should l do my work and become
- partner now? l think so.
- 539
- 00:35:04,620 --> 00:35:06,490
- Let's get to it.
- 540
- 00:35:07,290 --> 00:35:08,760
- -Michael?
- -Yo.
- 541
- 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,520
- We don't wanna interrupt.
- 542
- 00:35:10,730 --> 00:35:12,560
- We're taking off.
- Thanks for a great night.
- 543
- 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,420
- You had a fun time hanging out with me?
- 544
- 00:35:14,630 --> 00:35:16,560
- That was-- We did good, right?
- 545
- 00:35:17,130 --> 00:35:18,620
- -Good night, honey.
- -Love you.
- 546
- 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:23,330
- My schmeckel got bigger now that l'm older, just so you guys know that.
- 547
- 00:35:23,540 --> 00:35:25,940
- lt couldn't have gotten any smaller.
- 548
- 00:35:26,740 --> 00:35:27,830
- Yeah, yeah.
- 549
- 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,140
- lt looked like a little Tic Tac.
- 550
- 00:35:31,350 --> 00:35:34,410
- Yeah, come here,
- l'll freshen your breath.
- 551
- 00:35:35,620 --> 00:35:37,050
- -Bye, you guys.
- -Bye, sweetie.
- 552
- 00:35:37,250 --> 00:35:39,150
- Good night, sweetie.
- 553
- 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:43,280
- Great dinner, honey.
- 554
- 00:35:43,490 --> 00:35:45,760
- See? Was that so bad?
- 555
- 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,830
- Kidding me? l had fun.
- 556
- 00:35:48,030 --> 00:35:51,760
- Good for you. Can you watch the gang for 10 minutes while l clean up?
- 557
- 00:35:51,970 --> 00:35:54,270
- Can't you? l just--
- l got so much stuff to do here.
- 558
- 00:35:54,470 --> 00:35:55,870
- Oh, you got stuff to do?
- 559
- 00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:58,510
- l got ghost stories, charades the dishes...
- 560
- 00:35:58,710 --> 00:36:01,470
- ...and then l gotta sew the duck's head back on for Sundance...
- 561
- 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,300
- ...and fix his butthole.
- 562
- 00:36:03,510 --> 00:36:04,600
- Way to go, champ.
- 563
- 00:36:06,150 --> 00:36:08,010
- l wish l had time to do all that stuff.
- 564
- 00:36:08,220 --> 00:36:09,650
- Give me a break, Michael.
- 565
- 00:36:09,850 --> 00:36:11,820
- You're a big boy.
- You set your own priorities.
- 566
- 00:36:12,030 --> 00:36:14,400
- l'm asking for 10 minutes,
- not for like, a whole day.
- 567
- 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:15,970
- You don't have to do that much.
- 568
- 00:36:16,170 --> 00:36:18,970
- How big a deal is that?
- l am so tired of having this argument.
- 569
- 00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:29,540
- l skipped the whole fight.
- 570
- 00:36:32,620 --> 00:36:34,090
- Babe?
- 571
- 00:36:35,550 --> 00:36:37,850
- -l can't sleep. -You can't?
- 572
- 00:36:38,060 --> 00:36:39,650
- l feel bad that we keep arguing.
- 573
- 00:36:39,860 --> 00:36:42,990
- l know. Don't be upset, okay?
- 574
- 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,560
- -l was a jerk.
- -You are a jerk.
- 575
- 00:36:46,770 --> 00:36:48,320
- -l love you.
- -l love you too.
- 576
- 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:51,490
- -Yes. That smells good.
- -What?
- 577
- 00:36:54,070 --> 00:36:56,130
- Michael. Stop it.
- The sleepover will catch us.
- 578
- 00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:58,440
- They ain't gonna hear us. Come on.
- 579
- 00:36:59,210 --> 00:37:02,200
- Okay. Quietly try and coax me into it.
- 580
- 00:37:02,410 --> 00:37:04,410
- l gotta get back to work. Can't we just do it?
- 581
- 00:37:04,620 --> 00:37:06,590
- No, we can't just do it. Honey, come on.
- 582
- 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,850
- l mean, l don't have any new moves for you. lt's the same stuff.
- 583
- 00:37:11,060 --> 00:37:13,750
- Just think of last time and use that.
- 584
- 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,590
- l like the old moves. Come on.
- 585
- 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:19,130
- All right.
- 586
- 00:37:19,330 --> 00:37:21,300
- This time you be Sundance l'll be the duck.
- 587
- 00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:24,900
- -Yeah?
- -But you gotta massage me first.
- 588
- 00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:28,400
- Great, l love giving massages.
- 589
- 00:37:33,450 --> 00:37:35,910
- Massaging away here.
- 590
- 00:37:38,050 --> 00:37:41,110
- Oh, that feels good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 591
- 00:37:52,670 --> 00:37:56,000
- -We did it?
- -Well, you did.
- 592
- 00:37:57,540 --> 00:38:00,230
- l didn't want the whole thing
- to go that fast.
- 593
- 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,740
- l don't think anybody did.
- 594
- 00:38:03,140 --> 00:38:05,510
- Yeah. l'll get you next time.
- 595
- 00:38:05,710 --> 00:38:07,340
- Thanks.
- 596
- 00:38:08,310 --> 00:38:10,370
- So we good for tomorrow?
- 597
- 00:38:12,020 --> 00:38:13,640
- What are you talking about?
- 598
- 00:38:13,850 --> 00:38:15,080
- At dinner.
- 599
- 00:38:15,290 --> 00:38:18,780
- You said we'd go to lunch tomorrow and pick out your dad's birthday gift.
- 600
- 00:38:21,730 --> 00:38:23,190
- Dad's gift is--
- 601
- 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:27,200
- -Of course. l said so, so l'll be there. -Okay.
- 602
- 00:38:28,030 --> 00:38:30,400
- -Need another massage or anything?
- -Oh, go away.
- 603
- 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,470
- l gotta go work.
- 604
- 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,000
- Hey, Morty. lt's Michael Newman.
- 605
- 00:38:36,210 --> 00:38:38,680
- Yeah, can l talk to you for a minute?
- 606
- 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,070
- Hang on for a second someone's at my door.
- 607
- 00:38:46,050 --> 00:38:48,950
- -Hello, Michael.
- -Where'd you come from?
- 608
- 00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:51,350
- You don't wanna know.
- 609
- 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,290
- -Can we take a walk? -Sure.
- 610
- 00:38:58,030 --> 00:39:01,430
- lt's simple. You must have been on autopilot.
- 611
- 00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:02,730
- Autopilot?
- 612
- 00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:05,500
- That's what happens to you when you fast-forward.
- 613
- 00:39:05,700 --> 00:39:07,640
- -Okay.
- -Yeah. l'll show you.
- 614
- 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,240
- Here.
- 615
- 00:39:12,980 --> 00:39:15,970
- See? That's you on autopilot.
- 616
- 00:39:16,180 --> 00:39:18,740
- The lights are on but nobody's home.
- 617
- 00:39:18,950 --> 00:39:21,180
- The remote lets your mind skip around...
- 618
- 00:39:21,390 --> 00:39:23,980
- ...but your body actually stays put for the boring stuff.
- 619
- 00:39:24,190 --> 00:39:27,220
- We should go to lunch tomorrow and pick out your dad's birthday gift.
- 620
- 00:39:27,430 --> 00:39:29,020
- Sounds good.
- 621
- 00:39:29,230 --> 00:39:30,390
- So she did tell me.
- 622
- 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,590
- l'm having conversations on autopilot, then.
- 623
- 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,360
- You're not gonna be the life of the party, but yes.
- 624
- 00:39:36,570 --> 00:39:38,830
- Everyone goes on autopilot now and then.
- 625
- 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,900
- The big difference is now you've got a nifty remote...
- 626
- 00:39:42,110 --> 00:39:44,440
- ...to help you decide when.
- 627
- 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,540
- This thing is the best.
- 628
- 00:39:47,150 --> 00:39:50,600
- By the way, your wife? Absolutely gorgeous.
- 629
- 00:39:50,820 --> 00:39:55,380
- -She is, isn't she? -Perfect face. Tight, rocking body.
- 630
- 00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:57,620
- You okay?
- 631
- 00:39:59,090 --> 00:40:01,420
- -Amazing.
- -What is?
- 632
- 00:40:01,630 --> 00:40:03,690
- She fell for a schlub like you.
- 633
- 00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:05,490
- l'm a schlub?
- 634
- 00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:08,630
- l don't know about that, pal. l see a good-looking man right there.
- 635
- 00:40:10,370 --> 00:40:13,530
- You wanna see what a stud l used to be? Yeah?
- 636
- 00:40:13,740 --> 00:40:16,000
- All right, let's take a look at some of the girls...
- 637
- 00:40:16,210 --> 00:40:18,800
- ...l used to fool around with before l met Donna.
- 638
- 00:40:28,590 --> 00:40:30,610
- ls that a man or a woman?
- 639
- 00:40:30,820 --> 00:40:32,760
- lt's a woman.
- 640
- 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,060
- What is this Animal Planet?
- 641
- 00:40:39,870 --> 00:40:42,300
- -Stop.
- -Yes.
- 642
- 00:40:44,470 --> 00:40:50,340
- Sometimes it's better to keep certain memories just in your head.
- 643
- 00:40:50,540 --> 00:40:52,130
- So l've learned, Morty.
- 644
- 00:40:52,340 --> 00:40:54,240
- Good night. Thank you.
- 645
- 00:40:54,750 --> 00:40:56,510
- Good night, Michael.
- 646
- 00:41:04,890 --> 00:41:08,330
- l'm getting sick, man.
- Fast-forward me till l'm better.
- 647
- 00:41:09,860 --> 00:41:13,270
- Michael, honey, wake up.
- You'll be late for work.
- 648
- 00:41:13,910 --> 00:41:16,970
- What? lt's Monday already?
- 649
- 00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:28,280
- Are you kidding me?
- No more phlegm?
- 650
- 00:41:28,490 --> 00:41:30,120
- l skipped an entire cold?
- 651
- 00:41:30,330 --> 00:41:32,820
- Thanks to you, baby! l love you!
- 652
- 00:41:33,030 --> 00:41:34,550
- No more Tylenol!
- 653
- 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,730
- l don't remember
- doing any work this weekend.
- 654
- 00:41:39,270 --> 00:41:40,900
- But apparently l did.
- 655
- 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,870
- -Bad news. There's no hot water.
- -What? l gotta take a shower.
- 656
- 00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:47,510
- Well, you're gonna freeze
- your bun-buns off.
- 657
- 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,780
- lt's all good.
- 658
- 00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:59,450
- Yes! Look at me.
- 659
- 00:41:59,660 --> 00:42:03,680
- All showered and dressed
- and looking sexy.
- 660
- 00:42:03,890 --> 00:42:05,590
- l like that. l--
- 661
- 00:42:06,300 --> 00:42:08,560
- Did you smoke crack, Daddy?
- 662
- 00:42:09,130 --> 00:42:12,190
- Just watch your toons and
- have a great day with Mommy today, okay?
- 663
- 00:42:15,370 --> 00:42:18,400
- Eating cupcakes like your old man.
- Right here, baby.
- 664
- 00:42:18,610 --> 00:42:20,170
- -Dad?
- -Yes, sir?
- 665
- 00:42:20,380 --> 00:42:22,900
- Are you gonna have to work
- late again tonight?
- 666
- 00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:27,180
- -Unfortunately, yes.
- -ls there anything we can do to help?
- 667
- 00:42:27,950 --> 00:42:31,320
- Well, l'm gonna be partner soon and l'm gonna need new building designs.
- 668
- 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,180
- So if you guys have any cool ideas draw them up for me.
- 669
- 00:42:34,390 --> 00:42:35,860
- -Okay. -Rock 'n' roll.
- 670
- 00:42:36,060 --> 00:42:39,030
- -l get the paper.
- -l got the crayons.
- 671
- 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,270
- Would you stop talking
- and fix the sewer?
- 672
- 00:43:07,020 --> 00:43:10,290
- You're on it now, yeah. Yeah.
- 673
- 00:43:10,490 --> 00:43:14,220
- Traffic, traffic, no more traffic.
- 674
- 00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:18,160
- Wait a sec!
- 675
- 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,470
- Here we go! Mama!
- 676
- 00:43:23,670 --> 00:43:27,230
- Yeah! That's what l'm talking about, baby!
- 677
- 00:43:29,950 --> 00:43:33,140
- You look a little pale there, pal. Let me fix that.
- 678
- 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:41,260
- Oh, look at you now. You're all yellow from the scurvy.
- 679
- 00:43:41,460 --> 00:43:42,480
- Captain.
- 680
- 00:43:45,230 --> 00:43:49,860
- Don't get the Hulk angry.
- You won't like him when he's angry.
- 681
- 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:01,840
- Oh, there's Barney.
- 682
- 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:05,340
- I love you, you love me
- 683
- 00:44:05,550 --> 00:44:09,850
- That jogger had giant boobies
- 684
- 00:44:10,250 --> 00:44:14,480
- Okay. Let's get you that tan you been searching for.
- 685
- 00:44:14,690 --> 00:44:16,350
- That's it. That's it.
- 686
- 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,550
- Check out Julio lglesias...Pretty.
- 687
- 00:44:23,330 --> 00:44:27,390
- -Looking good, Mr. Newman.
- -Really? Thank you very much, Judy.
- 688
- 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:31,330
- -Finish? -Did l finish?
- l believe l finished.
- 689
- 00:44:31,540 --> 00:44:34,980
- -Let's see here. Look at that.
- -Very impressive, Michael.
- 690
- 00:44:35,180 --> 00:44:39,140
- Yeah, the river in the lobby.
- This is actually pretty good, man.
- 691
- 00:44:39,820 --> 00:44:41,650
- Where did you find the time
- to get a tan?
- 692
- 00:44:43,150 --> 00:44:46,140
- -l guess l can do it all, sir.
- -You can do it all.
- 693
- 00:44:46,790 --> 00:44:50,880
- All right, all right, everybody. l
- t's sexual-harassment-speech day.
- 694
- 00:44:52,260 --> 00:44:54,420
- Now, anyone can be a victim of
- sexual harassment:
- 695
- 00:44:54,630 --> 00:44:59,090
- Blue collar, white collar a woman,
- a man.
- 696
- 00:44:59,300 --> 00:45:01,570
- Even the office slut.
- 697
- 00:45:01,770 --> 00:45:04,200
- Not that l'm mentioning any names...
- 698
- 00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:05,630
- ...Stacy.
- 699
- 00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:13,270
- Here we go. Sexual harassment
- can come in many forms.
- 700
- 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:18,170
- You see, what is hilarious to some,
- could be offensive to others.
- 701
- 00:45:18,890 --> 00:45:22,690
- Let me try to give you a real-life
- example because l'm sure l've done it.
- 702
- 00:45:24,390 --> 00:45:27,920
- Like the day l said, ''You want a promotion, break out the lotion.''
- 703
- 00:45:28,130 --> 00:45:30,790
- l was technically engaged
- in sexual harassment.
- 704
- 00:45:31,570 --> 00:45:35,020
- Hilarious sexual harassment
- if you ask me.
- 705
- 00:45:39,940 --> 00:45:44,740
- Now, there is also homosexual harassment.
- 706
- 00:45:44,950 --> 00:45:47,710
- Now, this is like when one dude
- comes up to another...
- 707
- 00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,320
- -...and says something cheeky.
- -This will be good.
- 708
- 00:46:14,190 --> 00:46:15,450
- Proceed.
- 709
- 00:46:21,390 --> 00:46:23,760
- l don't know about you Americans...
- 710
- 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:27,190
- ...but to me there is no doubt...
- 711
- 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,270
- ...lchiro is the greatest of all time.
- 712
- 00:46:30,470 --> 00:46:32,030
- Yeah, he's incredible.
- 713
- 00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:34,300
- You gotta admit, you can always count on Matsui.
- 714
- 00:46:34,510 --> 00:46:36,130
- Oh, Matsui.
- 715
- 00:46:36,340 --> 00:46:39,800
- Well, if you guys love lchiro
- and Matsui so much, let's order them both.
- 716
- 00:46:41,310 --> 00:46:43,040
- l'll eat anything.
- 717
- 00:46:43,250 --> 00:46:46,650
- -Excuse us for a moment.
- -Absolutely, Mr. Watsuhita.
- 718
- 00:46:46,850 --> 00:46:48,950
- See you guys in a bit.
- 719
- 00:46:49,150 --> 00:46:53,220
- lchiro and Matsui are baseball players. You just insulted their national heroes.
- 720
- 00:46:53,430 --> 00:46:55,950
- l'm going to the bathroom to slit my wrists.
- 721
- 00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:57,860
- l'll be here.
- 722
- 00:47:14,110 --> 00:47:15,270
- These morons are so boring.
- 723
- 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,640
- They make me wanna chop my own dick off.
- 724
- 00:47:18,950 --> 00:47:20,750
- That hotel design? l'd like to rip it up.
- 725
- 00:47:20,950 --> 00:47:23,550
- Egghead watched a bad documentary on Asian architecture.
- 726
- 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,480
- Who needs a stupid river in the lobby?
- 727
- 00:47:25,690 --> 00:47:27,680
- Let's build more rooms and maximize profits.
- 728
- 00:47:27,890 --> 00:47:29,490
- Eat as fast as you can.
- 729
- 00:47:29,690 --> 00:47:30,990
- Then we can get out of here...
- 730
- 00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,100
- ...and do Jell-O shots at America's greatest cultural achievement:
- 731
- 00:47:34,300 --> 00:47:35,320
- T.G.l. Friday's.
- 732
- 00:47:35,530 --> 00:47:37,020
- T.G.l. Friday's!
- 733
- 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:44,370
- -All right, Michael, save us.
- -l'm all over it, baby.
- 734
- 00:47:45,710 --> 00:47:49,580
- Before we order, l was looking at our proposal. You know what?
- 735
- 00:47:49,780 --> 00:47:53,410
- After getting to know you a little bit l realize this is not what you're about.
- 736
- 00:47:53,620 --> 00:47:56,880
- ln fact, let's just throw it out, all right? Start from scratch.
- 737
- 00:47:57,090 --> 00:47:59,960
- The river in the lobby idea what an egghead move.
- 738
- 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:03,990
- Let's just keep the plans simple, forget all the niceties, maximize our revenue.
- 739
- 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,290
- That's what it's all about anyways the profits.
- 740
- 00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:09,730
- But do me a favor. Just give us your account and your trust.
- 741
- 00:48:09,940 --> 00:48:13,200
- That way we can get the hell out of this dump, go to T.G.l. Friday's...
- 742
- 00:48:13,410 --> 00:48:16,140
- ...do some Jell-O shots till this guy pukes up a lung.
- 743
- 00:48:17,940 --> 00:48:19,100
- Fuck, yeah.
- 744
- 00:48:22,750 --> 00:48:24,480
- That's what l'm talking about.
- 745
- 00:48:30,820 --> 00:48:32,290
- Yes, yes!
- 746
- 00:48:32,490 --> 00:48:36,450
- The king is home! Hello, hello!
- 747
- 00:48:37,630 --> 00:48:41,660
- How can you goons sleep
- when you know l got you presents?
- 748
- 00:48:41,870 --> 00:48:43,300
- -You did?
- -What is it?
- 749
- 00:48:43,500 --> 00:48:47,600
- What is it? Well, if you bring your
- tushies downstairs, we'll find out.
- 750
- 00:48:48,610 --> 00:48:50,470
- l'm coming. l'm coming.
- 751
- 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:54,610
- Honey, get your sweet little buns downstairs too. Come on, come on!
- 752
- 00:48:58,180 --> 00:49:00,240
- Come and get them.
- 753
- 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,180
- -Awesome! No way! -Yeah, yeah.
- 754
- 00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:08,450
- -lt must have cost a million dollars!
- -That's chump change now.
- 755
- 00:49:08,660 --> 00:49:09,850
- You guys deserve the best...
- 756
- 00:49:10,060 --> 00:49:12,460
- ...and that's what you're gonna
- get from now on, okay?
- 757
- 00:49:12,660 --> 00:49:13,960
- What's all this?
- 758
- 00:49:14,170 --> 00:49:16,260
- Look who's here.
- You guys wanna ride these bikes?
- 759
- 00:49:16,470 --> 00:49:18,460
- -Yeah! -Let's take them outside!
- 760
- 00:49:18,670 --> 00:49:20,930
- Wake the O'Doyles let them see what you got.
- 761
- 00:49:24,910 --> 00:49:28,310
- These are the coolest bikes
- in the whole town.
- 762
- 00:49:28,510 --> 00:49:30,950
- Kevin O'Doyle's gonna shit himself.
- 763
- 00:49:31,150 --> 00:49:34,520
- -Don't think l forgot my beautiful wife. -Oh, my gosh.
- 764
- 00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:38,590
- lt's not a bike or a cowboy hat but you're gonna like this, l hope.
- 765
- 00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,290
- -Oh, Michael, it's beautiful.
- -l heard you talking to my mother.
- 766
- 00:49:42,490 --> 00:49:44,720
- -l love it!
- -You look good, baby.
- 767
- 00:49:44,930 --> 00:49:48,130
- l got myself a celebratory cigar too.
- Why not?
- 768
- 00:49:48,330 --> 00:49:49,890
- What are we celebrating?
- 769
- 00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:54,400
- ''What are we celebrating?'' We're healthy, we got a great family...
- 770
- 00:49:54,610 --> 00:49:56,870
- ...l'm Ammer's newest partner--
- 771
- 00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,480
- Oh, my God, you're kidding! Honey, congratulations!
- 772
- 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,910
- l knew it! l knew you'd be psyched!
- l love it! l love you!
- 773
- 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,380
- l single-handedly landed the Watsuhita account.
- 774
- 00:50:06,580 --> 00:50:08,950
- That's incredible.
- l knew it was gonna be a great day.
- 775
- 00:50:09,150 --> 00:50:12,060
- -l heard our song on the radio.
- -We have a song?
- 776
- 00:50:12,620 --> 00:50:17,060
- Honey. The song that was playing during our first kiss.
- 777
- 00:50:19,130 --> 00:50:21,060
- Come on. You're kidding me, right?
- 778
- 00:50:22,900 --> 00:50:27,930
- l know our song. Our song. Of course l know our song. Our song is....
- 779
- 00:50:27,940 --> 00:50:30,120
- What the hell was that song?
- 780
- 00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,060
- l remember this place.
- 781
- 00:50:34,260 --> 00:50:37,160
- And-- Oh, my God.
- 782
- 00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,130
- Wolverine's goofy cousin.
- 783
- 00:50:40,870 --> 00:50:45,890
- But look at you. Wow.
- You are out of his league, aren't you?
- 784
- 00:50:48,610 --> 00:50:50,230
- Oh, yeah, the notes.
- 785
- 00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:52,430
- Smooth, buddy.
- 786
- 00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:59,940
- Oh, look at her.
- 787
- 00:51:01,490 --> 00:51:05,420
- What's gonna happen?
- You got an answer to that?
- 788
- 00:51:08,670 --> 00:51:12,160
- Okay. Seal the deal, pal.
- 789
- 00:51:19,650 --> 00:51:22,410
- All she's thinking about is,
- ''l am not kissing that beard.
- 790
- 00:51:22,620 --> 00:51:24,280
- Absolutely not, that's gonna hurt me.''
- 791
- 00:51:25,020 --> 00:51:26,780
- Wait a minute.
- 792
- 00:51:29,690 --> 00:51:31,990
- Yeah, Newman. Get it.
- 793
- 00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:35,420
- Yeah.
- 794
- 00:51:39,100 --> 00:51:40,590
- Donna!
- 795
- 00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,430
- Donna. Oh, my God.
- 796
- 00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:45,870
- l'm so horny now.
- 797
- 00:51:46,070 --> 00:51:49,770
- Oh, God, l'm not. Get me out of here.
- 798
- 00:51:51,950 --> 00:51:56,580
- ''Linger'' by The Cranberries was
- playing during our first juicy kiss.
- 799
- 00:51:56,790 --> 00:52:00,240
- And, my God, you looked beautiful in that pink sweater you were wearing.
- 800
- 00:52:00,460 --> 00:52:02,120
- Honey, you remember what l was wearing?
- 801
- 00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,290
- Of course. l remember what Janine was wearing.
- 802
- 00:52:04,490 --> 00:52:06,720
- She scared the shit out of me then.
- 803
- 00:52:10,230 --> 00:52:11,860
- l love you.
- 804
- 00:52:12,070 --> 00:52:14,760
- l love you too, honey.
- 805
- 00:52:25,550 --> 00:52:27,610
- Hi, Mr. Newman.
- 806
- 00:52:28,150 --> 00:52:30,410
- Right this way, Michael.
- 807
- 00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:35,050
- Hey, my new star. Congratulations.
- Sit down, big guy.
- 808
- 00:52:35,260 --> 00:52:36,820
- All right.
- 809
- 00:52:37,030 --> 00:52:39,460
- l am a little tired.
- 810
- 00:52:39,660 --> 00:52:41,990
- The family was up late last night celebrating.
- 811
- 00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,030
- You really knocked one out of the park last night, didn't you?
- 812
- 00:52:45,230 --> 00:52:46,360
- Hey, you were great too.
- 813
- 00:52:46,570 --> 00:52:48,800
- All you gotta do is draw up the construction plans.
- 814
- 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,100
- lf Watsuhita commits to the bulk of the funds...
- 815
- 00:52:51,310 --> 00:52:53,600
- ...l'm looking at my new partner.
- 816
- 00:52:56,610 --> 00:52:58,410
- l thought l was already your partner.
- 817
- 00:52:59,150 --> 00:53:00,610
- Whoa, cowboy.
- 818
- 00:53:00,820 --> 00:53:03,610
- l said, ''Land the Watsuhita account you'll get promoted.''
- 819
- 00:53:03,820 --> 00:53:08,220
- -l didn't mean right this second.
- -But l already told my wife, sir.
- 820
- 00:53:08,420 --> 00:53:10,760
- l spent money l don't have.
- 821
- 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,860
- To do these documents is gonna
- take me months.
- 822
- 00:53:14,530 --> 00:53:16,550
- Then you better get started.
- 823
- 00:53:24,010 --> 00:53:25,870
- Wow, l just got a big headache!
- 824
- 00:53:27,580 --> 00:53:30,600
- -Was l hit by a train or something?
- -l didn't see anything.
- 825
- 00:53:30,810 --> 00:53:35,110
- l forgot to tell you. l hung out
- with your friend Janine this weekend.
- 826
- 00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:39,280
- l hope she's doing your brother
- right now, you big-headed buffoon.
- 827
- 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:50,630
- No, no, no. You got more.
- 828
- 00:53:53,100 --> 00:53:54,900
- Yeah.
- 829
- 00:53:56,870 --> 00:54:00,740
- Anyway, the sooner you get back
- to work...
- 830
- 00:54:00,940 --> 00:54:02,810
- ...the sooner you'll be partnerized.
- 831
- 00:54:03,010 --> 00:54:05,410
- -l taste shit. -You do?
- 832
- 00:54:06,150 --> 00:54:11,640
- Stacy! Did you put shit in my lunch?
- 833
- 00:54:12,820 --> 00:54:14,690
- l'm gonna get going now, sir.
- 834
- 00:54:14,890 --> 00:54:16,980
- Stacy!
- 835
- 00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:24,770
- Have you considered the consequences...
- 836
- 00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:27,260
- ...of the thing you're thinking about doing?
- 837
- 00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:30,170
- Yeah. What are you saying, l shouldn't do it?
- 838
- 00:54:30,370 --> 00:54:34,210
- lt's your life. What you do with the remote is your decision, Michael.
- 839
- 00:54:34,410 --> 00:54:38,510
- l know, so, l mean, we're talking
- a couple of months here.
- 840
- 00:54:38,710 --> 00:54:41,240
- l fast-forward through it
- what am l gonna miss?
- 841
- 00:54:41,450 --> 00:54:43,210
- Thirty arguments and a haircut?
- 842
- 00:54:43,750 --> 00:54:45,480
- Remember the leprechaun?
- 843
- 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:49,290
- The one from the cereal ad.
- 844
- 00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,820
- ''They're magically delicious.''
- That guy?
- 845
- 00:54:54,030 --> 00:54:57,660
- He's always chasing the pot of
- gold at the end of the rainbow.
- 846
- 00:54:57,870 --> 00:55:01,600
- But when he gets there at the
- end of the day...
- 847
- 00:55:03,100 --> 00:55:05,330
- ...it's just corn flakes.
- 848
- 00:55:11,710 --> 00:55:13,480
- -Michael. -Yes.
- 849
- 00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:17,810
- -You don't understand the metaphor?
- -l won't do it, all right.
- 850
- 00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:35,790
- -Dad? -Yeah.
- 851
- 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,370
- -We have some designs for you.
- -lt's not a good time, man.
- 852
- 00:55:39,570 --> 00:55:41,570
- Maybe they'll help you finish quicker.
- 853
- 00:55:41,780 --> 00:55:44,300
- All right. You want me to look at it?
- Let me see.
- 854
- 00:55:44,950 --> 00:55:48,070
- The ceiling's too high the hallway's
- too narrow...
- 855
- 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,510
- ...stairway placement makes no sense at all.
- 856
- 00:55:50,720 --> 00:55:53,120
- -What the hell's this room made of? -Pizza.
- 857
- 00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:56,690
- Well, it's stupid. Next.
- What is yours made of?
- 858
- 00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:00,890
- -Pickles.
- -Oh, don't be a baby.
- 859
- 00:56:01,100 --> 00:56:04,160
- Michael, have you lost your mind?
- He's 7 years old.
- 860
- 00:56:04,370 --> 00:56:06,780
- lf he wants a playroom made of pizza
- then why not?
- 861
- 00:56:06,980 --> 00:56:10,180
- Maybe he's gotta grow up sometime and get the hell off Fantasy lsland.
- 862
- 00:56:10,380 --> 00:56:13,650
- Hey, pizza boy. Life ain't about being creative.
- 863
- 00:56:13,850 --> 00:56:17,150
- lt's about kissing ass, playing it safe, making your boss a lot of money...
- 864
- 00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:20,260
- ...in hopes one day he might throw you a stinking bone. All right?
- 865
- 00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:22,150
- Yes, sir.
- 866
- 00:56:22,590 --> 00:56:24,320
- Ammer didn't make you partner, did he?
- 867
- 00:56:26,460 --> 00:56:29,260
- Oh, honey, l'm so sorry.
- 868
- 00:56:29,870 --> 00:56:32,130
- But we'll get through this, okay? l promise.
- 869
- 00:56:32,540 --> 00:56:35,130
- Jeez! Man, that's all we ever do is get through it.
- 870
- 00:56:35,340 --> 00:56:37,500
- When is it gonna end?
- 871
- 00:56:53,990 --> 00:56:55,250
- Pretty sweet, eh?
- 872
- 00:56:55,460 --> 00:56:58,290
- Two queen beds, full kitchen, steam shower...
- 873
- 00:56:58,500 --> 00:57:00,660
- ...and satellite TV with surround sound.
- 874
- 00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:05,460
- Why are you always trying to hurt me? One day l'm gonna hurt you back.
- 875
- 00:57:05,670 --> 00:57:08,660
- Michael Newman, l didn't know you smoked cigars.
- 876
- 00:57:08,870 --> 00:57:10,500
- And now's the time.
- 877
- 00:57:10,710 --> 00:57:12,270
- No, Kathy, this isn't mine.
- 878
- 00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:16,000
- l took it out of Kevin's hands. Yeah, he was smoking like a chimney.
- 879
- 00:57:16,210 --> 00:57:17,510
- No, l wasn't!
- 880
- 00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:19,480
- l think l smell marijuana in it.
- 881
- 00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:22,980
- Kevin O'Doyle, you get your ass in this house right now!
- 882
- 00:57:23,190 --> 00:57:24,350
- l hate you.
- 883
- 00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:27,990
- Are you deaf? Move it! l don't wanna have to ask you again!
- 884
- 00:57:28,190 --> 00:57:30,180
- Dope is for dopes, buddy!
- 885
- 00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:32,300
- Get your ass in this house!
- 886
- 00:57:34,530 --> 00:57:36,120
- We don't have any other choice, guys.
- 887
- 00:57:36,330 --> 00:57:40,530
- -No fair! l don't wanna return my bike! -We have to, honey.
- 888
- 00:57:40,740 --> 00:57:43,500
- -But Daddy gave them to us! -Because he loves you.
- 889
- 00:57:43,710 --> 00:57:45,970
- Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at Daddy's work.
- 890
- 00:57:46,180 --> 00:57:48,080
- We need to bring the bikes back for now.
- 891
- 00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:51,480
- But l already told Kevin O'Doyle l got a new bike.
- 892
- 00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:54,450
- Well, we can paint my old bike and make it look new.
- 893
- 00:57:54,650 --> 00:57:58,490
- That's a girl's bike. All the kids will make fun of me.
- 894
- 00:57:58,890 --> 00:58:01,360
- No!
- 895
- 00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:04,350
- l wanna keep my bike!
- 896
- 00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:06,830
- l can't take this anymore.
- 897
- 00:58:07,030 --> 00:58:08,690
- Fast-forward me to my promotion.
- 898
- 00:58:14,210 --> 00:58:15,700
- So here's to Michael Newman...
- 899
- 00:58:15,910 --> 00:58:18,900
- ...the greatest partner l could ever dream of.
- 900
- 00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:20,900
- Hear, hear!
- 901
- 00:58:21,380 --> 00:58:25,410
- Thank you. Thank you, guys. My family thanks you.
- 902
- 00:58:25,620 --> 00:58:28,880
- l'm gonna do the best l can and l won't let you down, l promise.
- 903
- 00:58:29,090 --> 00:58:30,750
- Yeah!
- 904
- 00:58:31,420 --> 00:58:34,720
- -Congratulations, Mr. Newman. -This is great. Thank you.
- 905
- 00:58:34,930 --> 00:58:36,420
- How's it feel, killer?
- 906
- 00:58:36,630 --> 00:58:39,430
- -Feels incredible, sir. -Well, you earned it. l'm telling you.
- 907
- 00:58:39,630 --> 00:58:41,790
- Not just because of that Watsuhita project either.
- 908
- 00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:45,730
- For helping me pick up the slack now l'm spending time with my lady.
- 909
- 00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:47,430
- Hey, Dinkie.
- 910
- 00:58:48,110 --> 00:58:51,010
- Are you kidding me? You guys have been dating a couple months now?
- 911
- 00:58:51,210 --> 00:58:53,470
- That's pretty huge for this one.
- 912
- 00:58:55,980 --> 00:58:57,970
- No, the first few months were easy.
- 913
- 00:58:58,180 --> 00:59:00,450
- lt was the one-year hump that was the tough part.
- 914
- 00:59:00,650 --> 00:59:04,710
- Her inappropriate weekend with my brother in Cabo...
- 915
- 00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:06,720
- ...well, that was a potential speed bump.
- 916
- 00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:09,860
- But, well, Dr. Bergman helped us work through it, didn't he, honey?
- 917
- 00:59:10,060 --> 00:59:11,650
- How's he doing for you and Donna?
- 918
- 00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:15,330
- Dr. Bergman. What do you mean?
- 919
- 00:59:15,530 --> 00:59:18,730
- Oh, you know what, sweetie? lt's none of our business.
- 920
- 00:59:18,940 --> 00:59:21,840
- Let's let Michael bask in his glory. Cheers.
- 921
- 00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,510
- Bask away, partner.
- 922
- 00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,840
- Took that bastard a year to promote me?
- 923
- 00:59:29,380 --> 00:59:31,310
- What else did l miss?
- 924
- 00:59:31,620 --> 00:59:33,910
- -Shit.
- -Need something, Mr. Newman?
- 925
- 00:59:34,090 --> 00:59:36,920
- -Who are you? -Kirsten, your assistant.
- 926
- 00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:38,710
- What happened to Alice?
- 927
- 00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:41,360
- She moved to Accounting. Couldn't handle your hours.
- 928
- 00:59:41,930 --> 00:59:45,120
- And she prefers to be called Alan now. Remember?
- 929
- 00:59:48,970 --> 00:59:50,520
- No.
- 930
- 00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:53,330
- No.
- 931
- 00:59:53,540 --> 00:59:56,770
- No! And who the hell's Dr. Bergman?
- 932
- 00:59:57,510 --> 01:00:00,530
- And l feel like Michael's making no effort to connect with me at all.
- 933
- 01:00:00,750 --> 01:00:03,510
- No, no. l want to. l want to. lt's-- l'm on autopilot.
- 934
- 01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:06,680
- ''l'm on autopilot.'' More like auto-zombie.
- 935
- 01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:08,180
- Good one, Donna.
- 936
- 01:00:09,290 --> 01:00:12,380
- -''Good one, Donna''? -Michael, relax.
- 937
- 01:00:12,590 --> 01:00:15,180
- Who is this bigmouth?
- Why can't you and l just talk?
- 938
- 01:00:15,390 --> 01:00:18,450
- Why? Because there is no talking to you. You're never home to talk to.
- 939
- 01:00:18,660 --> 01:00:21,630
- And when you are, you're just
- sitting there staring off into space.
- 940
- 01:00:21,830 --> 01:00:23,060
- What do you want from me?
- 941
- 01:00:23,270 --> 01:00:25,460
- This is what happens. He's gonna
- answer his phone.
- 942
- 01:00:27,370 --> 01:00:30,000
- What the heck happened? l didn't
- even touch the remote.
- 943
- 01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:32,200
- Great, you gonna start watching TV at dinner?
- 944
- 01:00:32,410 --> 01:00:33,880
- Oh, can we?
- 945
- 01:00:34,450 --> 01:00:37,510
- Samantha. My little angel. Look at you.
- 946
- 01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:39,210
- Look how long your hair's getting.
- 947
- 01:00:39,420 --> 01:00:41,480
- When did you grow up? Ben, get over here.
- 948
- 01:00:41,690 --> 01:00:43,420
- Don't worry. l'm not gonna work tonight.
- 949
- 01:00:43,620 --> 01:00:45,680
- Watch Dragon Tales together.
- What do you say?
- 950
- 01:00:45,890 --> 01:00:49,380
- Dragon Tales is for babies, Dad. l wanna watch CSI.
- 951
- 01:00:49,590 --> 01:00:51,490
- Yeah, CSI.
- 952
- 01:00:51,700 --> 01:00:53,720
- lt's the episode when
- they find the lady's arm.
- 953
- 01:00:53,930 --> 01:00:58,160
- What happened? l missed the whole Dragon Tales era?
- 954
- 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,380
- Whoa, hey, hello.
- 955
- 01:01:06,820 --> 01:01:08,980
- What are you doing? Come here!
- Give me my Twinkie!
- 956
- 01:01:09,190 --> 01:01:10,710
- Get back here, you freaking gremlin!
- 957
- 01:01:10,930 --> 01:01:13,620
- Don't yell at Peanut because he found your Twinkie stash.
- 958
- 01:01:13,830 --> 01:01:15,300
- Who's Peanut? Where's Sundance?
- 959
- 01:01:15,500 --> 01:01:18,120
- Don't mention Sundance. The kids just stopped crying.
- 960
- 01:01:18,330 --> 01:01:19,770
- About what? Why? What happened?
- 961
- 01:01:22,300 --> 01:01:23,740
- He died?
- 962
- 01:01:27,410 --> 01:01:32,040
- Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no.
- 963
- 01:01:32,250 --> 01:01:35,480
- The stupid idiot and soft fur.
- 964
- 01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:38,810
- -Daddy held it in so long. -He was the best dog!
- 965
- 01:01:39,020 --> 01:01:41,550
- He's finally letting himself feel it.
- 966
- 01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:45,950
- One night when the duck's head was off...
- 967
- 01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:48,860
- ...he tried to hump my leg and l didn't let him...
- 968
- 01:01:49,060 --> 01:01:51,620
- ...and l should've and l'm sorry.
- 969
- 01:01:51,830 --> 01:01:56,100
- -What an idiot.
- -lt's okay, it's okay.
- 970
- 01:01:56,500 --> 01:01:58,800
- What the heck did l do?
- 971
- 01:01:59,010 --> 01:02:01,980
- l love you. Do you still love me?
- 972
- 01:02:04,380 --> 01:02:06,640
- Oh, Michael.
- 973
- 01:02:06,850 --> 01:02:08,710
- lt's been....
- 974
- 01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:10,510
- l'm really confused.
- 975
- 01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:14,520
- No, no, no. l'll change, okay? l'll be a better man, l promise.
- 976
- 01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:17,820
- Don't go, don't go. l'll stop working so much, okay?
- 977
- 01:02:18,030 --> 01:02:21,290
- l'll be with you. Just stay with me.
- 978
- 01:02:21,500 --> 01:02:25,430
- Oh, my God, it didn't take the duck long to get over Sundance.
- 979
- 01:02:26,130 --> 01:02:29,590
- lt's a little deviant but it's kind of turning me on.
- 980
- 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,430
- Yeah, well, let's kiss and make up.
- 981
- 01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:50,320
- No. No!
- 982
- 01:02:50,530 --> 01:02:52,650
- lt's not my fault.
- 983
- 01:02:52,860 --> 01:02:55,560
- lt jumped on its own. l didn't even hit the button.
- 984
- 01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:57,160
- Not even close.
- 985
- 01:03:00,330 --> 01:03:01,700
- Yes?
- 986
- 01:03:05,210 --> 01:03:07,730
- -You scared-- -Honey, what's going on down there?
- 987
- 01:03:07,940 --> 01:03:12,070
- lt's all right! l-- There was a mouse! l killed it!
- 988
- 01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:16,240
- lt's dead! But it broke the table first!
- 989
- 01:03:16,450 --> 01:03:20,050
- -How did you get in here? -l had a feeling you wanted to see me.
- 990
- 01:03:20,250 --> 01:03:22,190
- l'm freaking out. This thing, it's broken.
- 991
- 01:03:22,390 --> 01:03:24,880
- lt's just-- lt's fast-forwarding on its own now.
- 992
- 01:03:25,090 --> 01:03:27,120
- lt's not a malfunction, it's a feature.
- 993
- 01:03:27,330 --> 01:03:31,160
- lt's using its memory to execute your preferences.
- 994
- 01:03:31,370 --> 01:03:33,200
- lt remembers stuff? What do you mean?
- 995
- 01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:37,030
- lt's an advanced piece of equipment like TiVo.
- 996
- 01:03:37,540 --> 01:03:39,200
- You could call it MeVo.
- 997
- 01:03:39,410 --> 01:03:42,430
- l fast-forwarded through sex one time l don't wanna skip it forever.
- 998
- 01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,270
- l like sex. lt feels good.
- 999
- 01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:48,680
- Correct me if l'm wrong, but you fast-forwarded through an entire year.
- 1000
- 01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:50,410
- That's a lot of sex.
- 1001
- 01:03:50,620 --> 01:03:54,180
- Put it all together, that's like 30 minutes' worth for you.
- 1002
- 01:03:54,390 --> 01:03:56,750
- Oh, no, no. So what, everything l fast-forwarded...
- 1003
- 01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,290
- -...it's gonna do it on its own now? -Pretty much.
- 1004
- 01:03:59,490 --> 01:04:01,620
- No more showering, no more traffic.
- 1005
- 01:04:01,830 --> 01:04:04,350
- No more arguing. No more sickness.
- 1006
- 01:04:04,570 --> 01:04:05,960
- This is bad, this is bad.
- 1007
- 01:04:06,170 --> 01:04:08,160
- You take it back l'm deactivating my service.
- 1008
- 01:04:08,370 --> 01:04:11,400
- l quit, l quit. Thanks for everything, all right, but l--
- 1009
- 01:04:13,810 --> 01:04:14,800
- Yeah.
- 1010
- 01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:24,610
- You.... This is not....
- 1011
- 01:04:27,820 --> 01:04:29,080
- Don't be mean.
- 1012
- 01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:33,720
- Nice hat.
- 1013
- 01:04:34,460 --> 01:04:36,760
- No, no, no.
- 1014
- 01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:44,170
- Get away from me. Just get away. Get away. Leave me alone.
- 1015
- 01:04:44,370 --> 01:04:48,210
- ls this a stickup? Or are you just happy?
- 1016
- 01:04:50,140 --> 01:04:51,980
- Yeah? l'm gonna take my clothes off, then--
- 1017
- 01:04:52,180 --> 01:04:53,770
- l wouldn't do that if l were you.
- 1018
- 01:04:53,980 --> 01:04:56,810
- There's only one place left for it to pop up.
- 1019
- 01:04:58,350 --> 01:05:01,950
- Oh. No, no, l don't want that. Come on, man.
- 1020
- 01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:06,350
- l told you, this item is nonreturnable.
- 1021
- 01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:10,550
- -Come on, just take it. -Until we meet again.
- 1022
- 01:05:10,770 --> 01:05:15,670
- Don't do that. Come on, Morty. How do l get it to stop fast-forwarding?
- 1023
- 01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:20,840
- Morning, sweetie.
- 1024
- 01:05:21,980 --> 01:05:23,600
- You wanna shower first?
- 1025
- 01:05:23,810 --> 01:05:27,540
- Yeah. No! l can't shower because then l'll fast-forward.
- 1026
- 01:05:27,750 --> 01:05:30,550
- And if l fast-forward, who knows how long l'll fast-forward for.
- 1027
- 01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:33,650
- How's this? l'm gonna rough it today, like in the Old West. Okay?
- 1028
- 01:05:33,850 --> 01:05:36,450
- Donna, l wanna tell you what's going on right now so bad...
- 1029
- 01:05:36,660 --> 01:05:39,960
- ...but it might lead to an argument. We can't argue because off l'll go.
- 1030
- 01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:41,790
- So just know there is a problem.
- 1031
- 01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,790
- l tried to get rid of the problem, it almost ended up in my ass.
- 1032
- 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,090
- l'm gonna go to work and try to figure this out.
- 1033
- 01:05:47,300 --> 01:05:48,930
- You're going to work in your bathrobe?
- 1034
- 01:05:49,140 --> 01:05:51,200
- Honey. We can't argue, okay? No more arguing.
- 1035
- 01:05:51,410 --> 01:05:53,840
- You're right. l'm wrong. All the time. You want a kiss?
- 1036
- 01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:56,740
- -l'll take a kiss.
- -l can't. lf l give you a kiss...
- 1037
- 01:05:56,940 --> 01:05:59,850
- ...it might lead to something else, then...three minutes goes by.
- 1038
- 01:06:00,050 --> 01:06:02,220
- You're laying there disappointed l'm smiling.
- 1039
- 01:06:02,430 --> 01:06:05,730
- l wanna be with you every minute of my life, that's why l gotta leave now.
- 1040
- 01:06:05,930 --> 01:06:07,520
- Have a great day!
- 1041
- 01:06:07,730 --> 01:06:12,230
- Once again, Michael left Donna in bed confused and unsatisfied.
- 1042
- 01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:14,030
- Shut up, James Earl Jones!
- 1043
- 01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,170
- No, you shut up, big mouth!
- 1044
- 01:07:10,030 --> 01:07:11,960
- Michael!
- 1045
- 01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:13,960
- Mr. Ammer is here
- 1046
- 01:07:14,630 --> 01:07:18,470
- Your first day as a partner, you come to work in a fricking bathrobe?
- 1047
- 01:07:18,670 --> 01:07:21,160
- l did. l did.
- 1048
- 01:07:21,370 --> 01:07:24,830
- John, l just feel we should stop wasting our energy...
- 1049
- 01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:28,310
- ...on corporate brown-nosing and worrying who's got the better suit.
- 1050
- 01:07:28,510 --> 01:07:31,110
- Armani, Calvin Klein, who cares?
- 1051
- 01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:34,480
- Let's concentrate on what really matters, the work.
- 1052
- 01:07:36,550 --> 01:07:38,820
- That's the craziest thing l've ever heard.
- 1053
- 01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:43,160
- But goddamn it, you're right.
- 1054
- 01:07:46,900 --> 01:07:50,300
- Life-changing. l feel freer.
- 1055
- 01:07:50,630 --> 01:07:52,000
- Yeah-- Keep the pants on.
- 1056
- 01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,960
- Sexual harassment, eh?
- 1057
- 01:07:55,610 --> 01:07:57,510
- Speaking of life-changing...
- 1058
- 01:07:57,710 --> 01:08:02,700
- ...there's something, or actually someone, l'd like to talk to you about.
- 1059
- 01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:06,150
- -Janine. -Everything okay?
- 1060
- 01:08:06,350 --> 01:08:08,980
- Michael, Janine and l decided to drop out of the rat race...
- 1061
- 01:08:09,190 --> 01:08:10,550
- ...slow down, move to Morocco.
- 1062
- 01:08:10,750 --> 01:08:13,280
- -Morocco? -Morocco.
- 1063
- 01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:14,930
- Okay.
- 1064
- 01:08:15,130 --> 01:08:17,960
- Eric Lamensoff will assume my day-to-day responsibilities...
- 1065
- 01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:20,320
- ...and l'd like you to take his job.
- 1066
- 01:08:21,100 --> 01:08:25,760
- But Eric Lamensoff is the head of the whole international division.
- 1067
- 01:08:25,970 --> 01:08:27,960
- -l've been your partner one day.
- -So?
- 1068
- 01:08:28,170 --> 01:08:30,940
- Every account you worked on turned into gold.
- 1069
- 01:08:31,140 --> 01:08:32,700
- You know, l wouldn't be surprised...
- 1070
- 01:08:32,910 --> 01:08:35,210
- ...if one day you ended up being our CEO.
- 1071
- 01:08:36,350 --> 01:08:39,150
- Hey, l would love for that to happen, but--
- 1072
- 01:08:39,350 --> 01:08:42,320
- No! No, no, no! l don't want a promotion!
- 1073
- 01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:45,350
- No!
- 1074
- 01:08:49,930 --> 01:08:52,730
- Michael, you have a phone call.
- 1075
- 01:08:52,930 --> 01:08:54,020
- Michael Newman.
- 1076
- 01:08:57,740 --> 01:08:58,860
- Word up, big guy.
- 1077
- 01:08:59,070 --> 01:09:02,530
- Ten years ago you told me you wanted to be CEO.
- 1078
- 01:09:02,740 --> 01:09:06,070
- Great news. Eric Lamensoff killed himself.
- 1079
- 01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:08,870
- So you better stop with the junk food, Mr. Chairman...
- 1080
- 01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:11,410
- ...or you'll end up killing yourself too.
- 1081
- 01:09:14,990 --> 01:09:17,350
- Opening virtual blinds.
- 1082
- 01:09:17,550 --> 01:09:22,180
- Ten years? How much worse can things get?
- 1083
- 01:09:38,010 --> 01:09:40,530
- Oh, my God, l'm a fat guy!
- 1084
- 01:09:40,740 --> 01:09:42,210
- Look at me.
- 1085
- 01:09:48,290 --> 01:09:51,190
- What is this? This is titties.
- 1086
- 01:09:51,890 --> 01:09:53,910
- l got juicy titties!
- 1087
- 01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:55,850
- What-- What is that?
- 1088
- 01:09:56,060 --> 01:09:59,790
- Oh, God, no.
- 1089
- 01:10:00,330 --> 01:10:01,820
- Just take me home.
- 1090
- 01:10:08,610 --> 01:10:11,970
- This is 10 10 WINS news. February 5th, 20 17.
- 1091
- 01:10:12,180 --> 01:10:14,440
- Britney Spears had her 23rd baby today.
- 1092
- 01:10:14,650 --> 01:10:18,010
- Proud father Kevin Federline says he's now considering getting a job.
- 1093
- 01:10:18,220 --> 01:10:21,550
- Also, Michael Jackson, the first man to clone himself...
- 1094
- 01:10:21,750 --> 01:10:24,450
- ...is now suing himself for molesting himself.
- 1095
- 01:10:38,270 --> 01:10:39,670
- Donna!
- 1096
- 01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:42,300
- Donna!
- 1097
- 01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:52,540
- Can l help you?
- 1098
- 01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:57,750
- -Hey, Dad. -''Hey, Dad''?
- 1099
- 01:10:57,960 --> 01:11:00,900
- Ben? That's you?
- 1100
- 01:11:01,100 --> 01:11:04,200
- Look how big you got. You're enormous.
- 1101
- 01:11:04,770 --> 01:11:08,540
- Look who's talking, Captain Twinkie of the S.S. Fat-Ass!
- 1102
- 01:11:08,740 --> 01:11:10,230
- Really good for my self-esteem.
- 1103
- 01:11:10,440 --> 01:11:12,840
- Maybe if you would take me to Pilates like you said...
- 1104
- 01:11:13,050 --> 01:11:15,070
- ...people wouldn't think l was Rosie O'Donnell!
- 1105
- 01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:16,810
- Come on, l love you!
- 1106
- 01:11:17,020 --> 01:11:19,850
- -Bring me back the Twinkies! -You're so cruel!
- 1107
- 01:11:20,050 --> 01:11:22,420
- Will you please stop yelling? lt is so embarrassing.
- 1108
- 01:11:22,620 --> 01:11:25,720
- -ls that my daughter? -Mom, l'm going to Derek's!
- 1109
- 01:11:25,930 --> 01:11:29,490
- That's you, Samantha? When did you get boobs?
- 1110
- 01:11:29,830 --> 01:11:32,420
- The same time you did, Dad. Now can l go?
- 1111
- 01:11:32,630 --> 01:11:34,860
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who the hell's this Derek guy?
- 1112
- 01:11:35,070 --> 01:11:38,230
- My boyfriend, the hottest boy in school, hello?
- 1113
- 01:11:38,440 --> 01:11:40,410
- He's gonna be hot when l burn his house down.
- 1114
- 01:11:40,610 --> 01:11:42,580
- Get your ass upstairs put normal clothes on.
- 1115
- 01:11:42,780 --> 01:11:45,610
- -Why are you so mean to me?
- -Get them on now!
- 1116
- 01:11:45,810 --> 01:11:47,870
- -And wipe off all that makeup!
- -Right!
- 1117
- 01:11:50,350 --> 01:11:52,010
- ls Peanut dead too?
- 1118
- 01:11:53,220 --> 01:11:55,780
- This one's got the duck doing all the work.
- 1119
- 01:11:58,630 --> 01:12:00,350
- Donna. Donna.
- 1120
- 01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:03,450
- Goddamn it.
- 1121
- 01:12:03,660 --> 01:12:06,720
- Look how gorgeous you look. l'm so scared.
- 1122
- 01:12:06,930 --> 01:12:09,990
- -Knock, knock, gang.
- -Hey, sweetie.
- 1123
- 01:12:16,010 --> 01:12:17,170
- What's going on?
- 1124
- 01:12:17,380 --> 01:12:19,140
- Donna and l were gonna get hot chocolate.
- 1125
- 01:12:19,350 --> 01:12:21,580
- -You want us to bring you one? -You cheating on me?
- 1126
- 01:12:21,780 --> 01:12:23,370
- With Johnny G-String over here?
- 1127
- 01:12:23,580 --> 01:12:25,640
- Come on. Time-out.
- l thought we were past that.
- 1128
- 01:12:25,850 --> 01:12:29,080
- No, no, no, we're past this argument. No, you're right, no big deal.
- 1129
- 01:12:29,290 --> 01:12:32,050
- Hey, it's just that you don't mess with another man's wife!
- 1130
- 01:12:32,260 --> 01:12:34,230
- Michael! Stop it! Stop it, Michael!
- 1131
- 01:12:34,430 --> 01:12:36,400
- lt was your decision to move out!
- So stay out!
- 1132
- 01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:38,330
- Get off me! You sticking up for him?
- 1133
- 01:12:38,530 --> 01:12:41,160
- Go away! Go away, l hate you!
- 1134
- 01:12:41,370 --> 01:12:43,890
- -We can't argue! Donna, please!
- -l hate you! l hate you!
- 1135
- 01:12:44,940 --> 01:12:46,340
- Oh, man!
- 1136
- 01:12:46,540 --> 01:12:48,570
- You hate me?
- 1137
- 01:12:51,610 --> 01:12:55,380
- No. No.
- 1138
- 01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:58,140
- Ten years, you're not finished yet?
- 1139
- 01:12:58,520 --> 01:13:03,290
- Morty! Why did you do this to me?
- 1140
- 01:13:03,490 --> 01:13:05,750
- You did this to yourself, Michael.
- 1141
- 01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:08,360
- No. No, l didn't wanna
- waste all that time.
- 1142
- 01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:09,960
- l didn't wanna lose Donna!
- 1143
- 01:13:10,160 --> 01:13:11,890
- The remote goes by your behavior.
- 1144
- 01:13:12,100 --> 01:13:15,590
- Every time you had a conflict
- between work and home, work won.
- 1145
- 01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,290
- -No, not true.
- -Lie to your wife.
- 1146
- 01:13:17,500 --> 01:13:20,100
- Lie to yourself.
- But you cannot lie to the remote.
- 1147
- 01:13:20,310 --> 01:13:24,210
- The remote is lie-proof, so you can't change what already happened.
- 1148
- 01:13:24,410 --> 01:13:26,350
- But you're still a young man.
- 1149
- 01:13:26,550 --> 01:13:29,210
- A young, fat man.
- You could win Donna back.
- 1150
- 01:13:29,420 --> 01:13:31,480
- So that's what l'll do.
- 1151
- 01:13:31,690 --> 01:13:33,480
- Go for it, tubs.
- 1152
- 01:13:34,420 --> 01:13:38,820
- l saw what you did to the duck.
- Very good. Nice work.
- 1153
- 01:13:54,810 --> 01:13:56,500
- You'll feel that in a second.
- 1154
- 01:13:56,980 --> 01:14:00,280
- All right, please, please
- just read my note.
- 1155
- 01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:03,240
- --hate you! l hate you! l hate you!
- 1156
- 01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:16,120
- Michael, are you awake?
- 1157
- 01:14:17,460 --> 01:14:21,060
- Michael, honey. Are you awake?
- 1158
- 01:14:23,070 --> 01:14:24,970
- Donna.
- 1159
- 01:14:27,610 --> 01:14:30,080
- Where'd all my fat go?
- 1160
- 01:14:32,750 --> 01:14:36,340
- lt was just a dream?
- A terrible terrible dream.
- 1161
- 01:14:36,550 --> 01:14:38,580
- What's that, Michael?
- You had a bad dream?
- 1162
- 01:14:38,790 --> 01:14:41,080
- Did a fuzzy dog push me over?
- 1163
- 01:14:42,990 --> 01:14:45,190
- Oh, Shaggy the miracle dog?
- 1164
- 01:14:45,390 --> 01:14:47,490
- Yeah, if he hadn't knocked you
- on your noggin...
- 1165
- 01:14:47,690 --> 01:14:51,100
- ...you wouldn't have had the CAT
- scan that found the cancer before it spread.
- 1166
- 01:14:51,300 --> 01:14:52,730
- l have cancer?
- 1167
- 01:14:52,930 --> 01:14:54,760
- No, you had cancer.
- 1168
- 01:14:54,970 --> 01:14:57,200
- You're the only person
- to gain weight during chemo.
- 1169
- 01:14:57,400 --> 01:14:59,400
- That's probably what
- caused your heart attack.
- 1170
- 01:14:59,610 --> 01:15:00,870
- Heart attack?
- 1171
- 01:15:01,070 --> 01:15:03,070
- l thought they weaned you off the morphine.
- 1172
- 01:15:03,810 --> 01:15:05,440
- Okay, Mr. Junk Food...
- 1173
- 01:15:05,650 --> 01:15:08,240
- ...since the injury, you haven't been healthy a full day.
- 1174
- 01:15:08,450 --> 01:15:10,810
- When exactly did l hurt my head?
- 1175
- 01:15:11,790 --> 01:15:15,150
- When was it? Like, six years ago?
- 1176
- 01:15:15,360 --> 01:15:20,730
- Six more years! No! No!
- lt skipped all my sickness.
- 1177
- 01:15:20,930 --> 01:15:22,900
- l'm gonna ask them to cut back on painkillers.
- 1178
- 01:15:23,100 --> 01:15:24,650
- Donna, don't go.
- 1179
- 01:15:26,330 --> 01:15:27,990
- What's this?
- 1180
- 01:15:30,540 --> 01:15:34,560
- That's not bad for your third liposuction.
- 1181
- 01:15:35,810 --> 01:15:37,670
- One more tummy tuck should take care of it.
- 1182
- 01:15:38,750 --> 01:15:41,480
- Oh, it looks like a tongue...
- 1183
- 01:15:41,680 --> 01:15:43,270
- ...licking.
- 1184
- 01:15:44,380 --> 01:15:47,840
- Look, l should go. Bill's waiting for me downstairs.
- 1185
- 01:15:48,060 --> 01:15:49,960
- -So l'll probably-- -Bill?
- 1186
- 01:15:50,160 --> 01:15:52,520
- You're still with Speedo Torpedo?
- 1187
- 01:15:52,730 --> 01:15:55,350
- Whatever happened to ''forever and ever, '' honey?
- 1188
- 01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:57,690
- ''Forever and ever''?
- 1189
- 01:15:57,900 --> 01:16:01,240
- Look, Michael, l'm trying to have a civilized relationship with you...
- 1190
- 01:16:01,450 --> 01:16:02,780
- ...for the kids' sake.
- 1191
- 01:16:02,980 --> 01:16:05,610
- l really wanna be friends but l can't do that if you--
- 1192
- 01:16:05,820 --> 01:16:07,480
- Would you stop flapping that thing?
- 1193
- 01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:10,450
- lt's my flap, l'll do whatever
- the hell l want with it!
- 1194
- 01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:13,380
- You done?
- 1195
- 01:16:15,360 --> 01:16:17,520
- Look, Bill's my husband.
- 1196
- 01:16:17,730 --> 01:16:20,530
- Please learn to accept that.
- l really have to go.
- 1197
- 01:16:20,730 --> 01:16:23,060
- Husband? Donna?
- 1198
- 01:16:23,270 --> 01:16:28,860
- No. Donna. Donna. Donna!
- 1199
- 01:16:29,440 --> 01:16:32,100
- Welcome to Newman Architecture.
- 1200
- 01:16:32,310 --> 01:16:34,940
- Building a better world for all of us.
- 1201
- 01:16:35,150 --> 01:16:37,310
- Architect of the year, 20 18.
- 1202
- 01:16:37,510 --> 01:16:40,040
- All your dreams came true, huh, moron?
- 1203
- 01:16:40,250 --> 01:16:43,080
- Dad. Hey, how you feeling?
- 1204
- 01:16:44,990 --> 01:16:48,650
- -Benjamin. Look at that. -Look-- What?
- 1205
- 01:16:48,860 --> 01:16:53,020
- Your face. Your skinny face. You're shaving now, huh, kid?
- 1206
- 01:16:53,230 --> 01:16:57,760
- Your entire ass is gone. What happened? Good for you.
- 1207
- 01:16:57,970 --> 01:17:02,410
- Right, my ass. Why don't we talk about it in my office.
- 1208
- 01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:07,400
- My old office.
- 1209
- 01:17:10,650 --> 01:17:13,840
- The architect. How did this happen?
- 1210
- 01:17:14,050 --> 01:17:18,110
- -Mom said you were still a little loopy. -No, no, no. l'm feeling terrific.
- 1211
- 01:17:18,320 --> 01:17:21,920
- The weight. How did you do it? Staple treatment like your old man?
- 1212
- 01:17:22,130 --> 01:17:24,180
- Wanna have a flap fight? You gotta see this--
- 1213
- 01:17:24,390 --> 01:17:27,890
- No. Just working out with Bill five times a week. Same as always.
- 1214
- 01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:38,510
- That's a looker. Blondie, big lips. Chesty.
- 1215
- 01:17:38,710 --> 01:17:39,940
- ls that your girl?
- 1216
- 01:17:40,740 --> 01:17:42,770
- No, that's your daughter Samantha.
- 1217
- 01:17:43,210 --> 01:17:44,650
- Of course it is.
- 1218
- 01:17:44,850 --> 01:17:47,480
- And you better always take care of her...
- 1219
- 01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:51,480
- ...and make sure nobody touches her except you.
- 1220
- 01:17:52,420 --> 01:17:55,550
- Pop, l'm just getting ready for this meeting.
- 1221
- 01:17:56,960 --> 01:17:59,990
- Okay. Absolutely. l'll take off for you.
- 1222
- 01:18:01,930 --> 01:18:05,800
- l'd like to spend more time together. All of us.
- 1223
- 01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:08,060
- Take you out for ice cream. How's that?
- 1224
- 01:18:08,440 --> 01:18:10,300
- l know your mother won't come...
- 1225
- 01:18:10,510 --> 01:18:14,640
- ...but you, Samantha, Grandpa, Grandma.
- 1226
- 01:18:15,050 --> 01:18:16,340
- That'd be nice, huh?
- 1227
- 01:18:17,980 --> 01:18:20,420
- l knew something was funny with you today.
- 1228
- 01:18:20,620 --> 01:18:24,140
- Papa, take a seat. Let me get you a water, okay?
- 1229
- 01:18:25,490 --> 01:18:27,620
- What are we sitting for?
- 1230
- 01:18:28,860 --> 01:18:32,800
- -Here you go, Pop, drink this. -All right. Drink some water.
- 1231
- 01:18:34,800 --> 01:18:36,600
- There, l had my water. What's going on?
- 1232
- 01:18:39,900 --> 01:18:41,670
- Grandpa died, Dad.
- 1233
- 01:18:44,810 --> 01:18:47,040
- He died a while back now.
- 1234
- 01:18:51,480 --> 01:18:55,540
- No, no, no.
- 1235
- 01:18:55,750 --> 01:18:58,120
- Don't say that.
- 1236
- 01:18:58,920 --> 01:19:01,650
- Where was l?
- 1237
- 01:19:01,860 --> 01:19:03,160
- You're crying?
- 1238
- 01:19:04,260 --> 01:19:06,350
- What happened?
- 1239
- 01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:12,060
- Nothing. You know, he just got old.
- That's life.
- 1240
- 01:19:12,270 --> 01:19:16,140
- -Shit.
- -You're born and you live and you die.
- 1241
- 01:19:17,470 --> 01:19:18,770
- Man, l gotta go.
- 1242
- 01:19:18,980 --> 01:19:21,100
- Hey, hang on. Susie, push my next meeting.
- 1243
- 01:19:21,310 --> 01:19:23,580
- No, no, do your meeting. lt's fine. l'm just dizzy.
- 1244
- 01:19:23,780 --> 01:19:26,510
- -Why are you crying?
- -l'm dizzy from the operation.
- 1245
- 01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:30,380
- -You're gonna make me cry, Dad. -You don't-- You don't have to go.
- 1246
- 01:19:34,620 --> 01:19:36,890
- You look-- You look good.
- 1247
- 01:19:37,090 --> 01:19:38,990
- lt's all right. Goodbye.
- 1248
- 01:19:54,140 --> 01:19:55,810
- Come on.
- 1249
- 01:19:56,010 --> 01:19:57,340
- Come on.
- 1250
- 01:19:57,550 --> 01:19:59,610
- lt won't take you there.
- 1251
- 01:20:00,150 --> 01:20:01,620
- Take me where?
- 1252
- 01:20:02,390 --> 01:20:05,220
- To the moment he died.
- You weren't there.
- 1253
- 01:20:05,620 --> 01:20:07,680
- Of course l wasn't.
- 1254
- 01:20:09,430 --> 01:20:11,760
- Can you take me to the last time
- l saw him, please?
- 1255
- 01:20:15,370 --> 01:20:18,890
- Hey, Dad. Sorry to bug you.
- 1256
- 01:20:19,100 --> 01:20:22,470
- Would you mind looking at
- my shopping mall design again?
- 1257
- 01:20:22,670 --> 01:20:23,930
- This one is cheaper.
- 1258
- 01:20:24,140 --> 01:20:27,170
- But if you check this out...
- 1259
- 01:20:27,380 --> 01:20:30,400
- ...you'll see it has a much better natural flow--
- 1260
- 01:20:30,610 --> 01:20:33,640
- Cheaper one, like l said.
- Now, just let me do my e-mail.
- 1261
- 01:20:35,620 --> 01:20:37,710
- Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Dad.
- 1262
- 01:20:37,920 --> 01:20:40,890
- He ain't right.
- You're a schmuck! Look at it!
- 1263
- 01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:42,410
- Surprise.
- 1264
- 01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:44,960
- Hey, Grandpa.
- 1265
- 01:20:45,400 --> 01:20:47,920
- Oh, my God.
- 1266
- 01:20:51,740 --> 01:20:54,230
- When did you get so handsome?
- 1267
- 01:20:54,440 --> 01:20:56,850
- So, Michael, l had a wonderful idea.
- 1268
- 01:20:57,050 --> 01:20:59,450
- Your mother's playing canasta with her friends tonight.
- 1269
- 01:20:59,650 --> 01:21:02,020
- l thought, ''What a great opportunity.''
- 1270
- 01:21:02,220 --> 01:21:05,280
- You, me and Ben should go and have a boys' night out.
- 1271
- 01:21:05,490 --> 01:21:07,930
- -Can't. -What do you mean you can't?
- 1272
- 01:21:08,130 --> 01:21:09,290
- You have to eat sometime.
- 1273
- 01:21:09,500 --> 01:21:11,900
- We could go, we could whistle at pretty girls.
- 1274
- 01:21:12,100 --> 01:21:14,360
- -l'm down for that. -See? He's down.
- 1275
- 01:21:14,570 --> 01:21:16,630
- l don't know what it means, but he's down.
- 1276
- 01:21:16,840 --> 01:21:20,270
- -Hey. Please. -Don't give me that finger.
- 1277
- 01:21:25,310 --> 01:21:27,440
- l'll make you a deal.
- 1278
- 01:21:27,650 --> 01:21:31,980
- lf you come l'll show you the quarter trick.
- 1279
- 01:21:32,190 --> 01:21:34,550
- -Will you look at the man?
- -l'll tell you the secret.
- 1280
- 01:21:34,750 --> 01:21:36,650
- No, Dad.
- 1281
- 01:21:36,860 --> 01:21:38,120
- Don't you wanna know how l--?
- 1282
- 01:21:38,320 --> 01:21:40,790
- l know how you do the stupid trick.
- l've always known.
- 1283
- 01:21:40,990 --> 01:21:42,290
- Can you let me do my work?
- 1284
- 01:21:46,870 --> 01:21:48,530
- You've always known.
- 1285
- 01:21:48,740 --> 01:21:50,200
- You're pathetic.
- 1286
- 01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:52,730
- Okay.
- 1287
- 01:21:55,410 --> 01:21:57,970
- l'm so sorry l barged in.
- 1288
- 01:21:58,380 --> 01:22:00,470
- l love you, son.
- 1289
- 01:22:03,280 --> 01:22:05,150
- See you later, Grandpa, l love you.
- 1290
- 01:22:05,350 --> 01:22:06,940
- Dad.
- 1291
- 01:22:07,620 --> 01:22:09,380
- Pop.
- 1292
- 01:22:09,590 --> 01:22:11,280
- Pop.
- 1293
- 01:22:35,350 --> 01:22:37,410
- l love you, son.
- 1294
- 01:22:41,420 --> 01:22:43,480
- l love you, son.
- 1295
- 01:22:45,190 --> 01:22:47,220
- l love you, son.
- 1296
- 01:22:53,200 --> 01:22:55,390
- l love you too, Dad.
- 1297
- 01:23:00,670 --> 01:23:02,470
- l'll miss you.
- 1298
- 01:23:04,840 --> 01:23:06,210
- You know that.
- 1299
- 01:23:09,880 --> 01:23:11,540
- Goodbye.
- 1300
- 01:23:37,380 --> 01:23:39,740
- l'm sorry about your father.
- 1301
- 01:23:40,180 --> 01:23:44,140
- Taking him wasn't something
- l wanted to do.
- 1302
- 01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:46,320
- What do you mean ''taking him''?
- 1303
- 01:23:46,520 --> 01:23:48,110
- l'm an angel, Michael.
- 1304
- 01:23:48,660 --> 01:23:50,320
- An angel?
- 1305
- 01:23:51,220 --> 01:23:53,750
- l thought an angel was supposed to protect people.
- 1306
- 01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:56,020
- l'm the angel of death.
- 1307
- 01:23:57,960 --> 01:24:00,760
- Your dad, it was his time.
- 1308
- 01:24:02,370 --> 01:24:04,340
- You bastard.
- 1309
- 01:24:12,080 --> 01:24:13,940
- All right, leave me alone.
- Leave me alone.
- 1310
- 01:24:14,150 --> 01:24:17,610
- You had your fun.
- Just take me to a good place.
- 1311
- 01:24:33,600 --> 01:24:38,200
- And now, everybody, it's time for
- Mr. Newman to say a few words.
- 1312
- 01:24:38,810 --> 01:24:40,360
- Yay, Michael!
- 1313
- 01:24:42,410 --> 01:24:45,170
- Go get them, Michael! Speech!
- 1314
- 01:24:47,980 --> 01:24:50,470
- Wedding cake. Wedding cake.
- 1315
- 01:24:51,250 --> 01:24:54,050
- Okay, where's the groom? S
- how your face.
- 1316
- 01:24:54,250 --> 01:24:55,850
- Hi, Dad.
- 1317
- 01:24:56,560 --> 01:25:00,190
- Ben. l didn't miss my son's wedding.
- 1318
- 01:25:00,390 --> 01:25:04,830
- Wow, this is terrific, buddy.
- Who's the lucky lady?
- 1319
- 01:25:05,470 --> 01:25:08,060
- Very funny, Mr. Newman.
- 1320
- 01:25:10,940 --> 01:25:12,400
- Aunt Peggy, is that you?
- 1321
- 01:25:13,970 --> 01:25:15,910
- God, you got old.
- 1322
- 01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:23,210
- No, no. l-- She-- l'm just playing.
- She knows that.
- 1323
- 01:25:29,060 --> 01:25:30,350
- Ma.
- 1324
- 01:25:34,460 --> 01:25:36,860
- Ben's wife...
- 1325
- 01:25:37,500 --> 01:25:38,760
- ...welcome to the family.
- 1326
- 01:25:38,970 --> 01:25:40,130
- Thank you.
- 1327
- 01:25:40,330 --> 01:25:43,130
- Congratulations.
- Let's have the best night, okay?
- 1328
- 01:25:53,110 --> 01:25:57,720
- Look at you, Ma. You look amazing.
- 1329
- 01:25:59,400 --> 01:26:03,060
- Michael, you haven't kissed me like that since you were a little boy.
- 1330
- 01:26:03,270 --> 01:26:06,600
- You are the best, Ma.
- You know l know that, right?
- 1331
- 01:26:06,800 --> 01:26:09,970
- Oh, darling, that's so sweet.
- 1332
- 01:26:10,640 --> 01:26:14,440
- You know, Michael your father would've loved to be here.
- 1333
- 01:26:14,640 --> 01:26:16,110
- l know, Ma.
- 1334
- 01:26:16,980 --> 01:26:20,010
- Okay? l'm just glad you're here.
- 1335
- 01:26:20,780 --> 01:26:26,150
- Me too, bubbala. Me too. Me too. lt's beautiful. Beautiful.
- 1336
- 01:26:26,620 --> 01:26:27,990
- Beautiful. Look at her.
- 1337
- 01:26:28,660 --> 01:26:30,650
- Donna, my favorite.
- 1338
- 01:26:31,490 --> 01:26:33,830
- You're such a schmuck for letting her go.
- 1339
- 01:26:34,030 --> 01:26:37,120
- But don't let me ruin your evening.
- l'll talk to you later.
- 1340
- 01:26:37,330 --> 01:26:39,300
- Christina.
- 1341
- 01:26:42,110 --> 01:26:44,940
- Michael, you've been so generous taking care of all this...
- 1342
- 01:26:45,140 --> 01:26:46,300
- ...and the kids' honeymoon.
- 1343
- 01:26:46,510 --> 01:26:48,600
- -Absolutely. -Thank you so much.
- 1344
- 01:26:48,810 --> 01:26:53,010
- Of course. Ben's wife seems like a nice kid, huh?
- 1345
- 01:26:53,220 --> 01:26:56,150
- -l think she's wonderful.
- -Definite keeper.
- 1346
- 01:26:56,350 --> 01:26:59,880
- Here's one you might remember
- from The Cranberries.
- 1347
- 01:27:05,230 --> 01:27:07,820
- Out of all the songs, huh?
- 1348
- 01:27:09,470 --> 01:27:11,400
- Bill, since it's our son's wedding...
- 1349
- 01:27:11,600 --> 01:27:14,500
- ...do you mind if l dance with my
- ex-husband for a minute?
- 1350
- 01:27:14,700 --> 01:27:16,970
- -Not at all. -Thank you.
- 1351
- 01:27:17,170 --> 01:27:19,730
- Just have her back by midnight,
- all right, champ?
- 1352
- 01:27:19,940 --> 01:27:21,140
- You got it, Bill.
- 1353
- 01:27:33,390 --> 01:27:35,760
- Why does he have a bathing suit on?
- 1354
- 01:27:37,460 --> 01:27:39,620
- Nice Speedo, buddy.
- 1355
- 01:27:51,640 --> 01:27:53,510
- Still smelling good, huh?
- 1356
- 01:27:53,710 --> 01:27:56,200
- After all these years.
- 1357
- 01:27:57,910 --> 01:27:59,380
- Are you happy?
- 1358
- 01:27:59,580 --> 01:28:02,310
- Of course l'm happy our son just got married.
- 1359
- 01:28:02,520 --> 01:28:07,180
- Not about that. Are you happy
- about where our lives ended up?
- 1360
- 01:28:07,390 --> 01:28:10,260
- ''Ended.'' lt's not over yet.
- 1361
- 01:28:10,460 --> 01:28:14,120
- -That's my Donna. -lt's true.
- 1362
- 01:28:15,630 --> 01:28:17,260
- That Samantha?
- 1363
- 01:28:17,870 --> 01:28:22,200
- Hey. What are you doing?
- Put a sweater on. Cover them up.
- 1364
- 01:28:23,210 --> 01:28:24,610
- What is with you?
- 1365
- 01:28:26,580 --> 01:28:28,440
- Just kidding, l....
- 1366
- 01:28:28,640 --> 01:28:31,480
- Just not used to seeing you all grown-up like this.
- 1367
- 01:28:32,480 --> 01:28:37,420
- Okay, well, if that's your way of telling me that l look pretty, then thank you.
- 1368
- 01:28:37,950 --> 01:28:39,390
- Let's go get some cake.
- 1369
- 01:28:39,590 --> 01:28:41,490
- -l'll race you there, Dad. Come on.
- -Okay.
- 1370
- 01:28:43,190 --> 01:28:44,820
- ''Dad''?
- 1371
- 01:28:47,330 --> 01:28:48,630
- Michael, are you okay?
- 1372
- 01:28:51,230 --> 01:28:54,760
- ls there a doctor? We need a doctor here!
- 1373
- 01:28:57,870 --> 01:28:59,170
- Michael!
- 1374
- 01:28:59,380 --> 01:29:02,140
- -Dad! -Dad!
- 1375
- 01:29:04,150 --> 01:29:05,840
- lt's just corn flakes.
- 1376
- 01:29:31,170 --> 01:29:33,940
- One dance, you pop an artery.
- 1377
- 01:29:35,210 --> 01:29:39,340
- Why'd you make me waste my entire life?
- 1378
- 01:29:39,550 --> 01:29:41,640
- You were fast-forwarding through your life...
- 1379
- 01:29:41,850 --> 01:29:44,220
- ...long before you ever met me.
- 1380
- 01:29:44,420 --> 01:29:46,480
- You lived the life you chose, big shot.
- 1381
- 01:29:47,360 --> 01:29:49,450
- This is not the life l wanted.
- 1382
- 01:29:49,660 --> 01:29:51,060
- lt is.
- 1383
- 01:29:56,300 --> 01:29:57,490
- Looks like it is.
- 1384
- 01:30:01,370 --> 01:30:04,500
- Hey. You're up. How you feeling?
- 1385
- 01:30:06,440 --> 01:30:09,380
- l feel better now that you guys are here.
- 1386
- 01:30:09,580 --> 01:30:11,840
- Samantha's been here like 36 hours straight.
- 1387
- 01:30:12,050 --> 01:30:15,420
- She said she wouldn't leave the hospital until you woke up.
- 1388
- 01:30:16,390 --> 01:30:20,410
- -Why'd you do that?
- -Because. You're my father.
- 1389
- 01:30:21,020 --> 01:30:23,490
- l thought Bill was your father.
- 1390
- 01:30:24,230 --> 01:30:26,350
- l have two fathers.
- 1391
- 01:30:27,330 --> 01:30:31,990
- One of them told me he was gonna live till he was 200. Remember?
- 1392
- 01:30:33,900 --> 01:30:36,340
- You both really need to get some sleep.
- 1393
- 01:30:36,540 --> 01:30:38,730
- And l got a plane to catch.
- 1394
- 01:30:39,480 --> 01:30:42,170
- Big Ben's gotta go on his honeymoon.
- 1395
- 01:30:42,850 --> 01:30:45,440
- Actually, l just canceled the honeymoon.
- 1396
- 01:30:45,650 --> 01:30:49,520
- Kensington deal might fall through, so l gotta go do damage control.
- 1397
- 01:30:49,720 --> 01:30:51,520
- -Julie and l can go to ltaly anytime.
- -No.
- 1398
- 01:30:51,720 --> 01:30:52,950
- lt's not that big a deal.
- 1399
- 01:30:53,170 --> 01:30:55,400
- -That's not fair to your wife.
- -Dad...
- 1400
- 01:30:55,600 --> 01:30:58,540
- ...she gets it. Keeping the business going is more important.
- 1401
- 01:30:58,740 --> 01:31:01,500
- Guys, l'm sorry. You're gonna have to leave. He needs his rest.
- 1402
- 01:31:01,710 --> 01:31:02,870
- All right. Bye, Dad.
- 1403
- 01:31:04,180 --> 01:31:05,940
- Bye, Daddy.
- 1404
- 01:31:17,390 --> 01:31:19,150
- Get this off of me.
- 1405
- 01:31:23,700 --> 01:31:25,430
- Whoa, whoa!
- 1406
- 01:31:25,630 --> 01:31:28,160
- Hey, fella, you're a long way from walking out of here.
- 1407
- 01:31:28,370 --> 01:31:29,830
- l gotta see my son.
- 1408
- 01:31:30,040 --> 01:31:32,440
- You're not going anywhere. Now, get back into the bed.
- 1409
- 01:31:33,210 --> 01:31:35,260
- -lsn't that Colin Farrell?
- -Where?
- 1410
- 01:31:41,350 --> 01:31:42,710
- Michael.
- 1411
- 01:31:42,920 --> 01:31:46,350
- Those machines are keeping you alive.
- 1412
- 01:31:46,550 --> 01:31:49,020
- l gotta talk to my boy.
- 1413
- 01:31:55,960 --> 01:31:58,190
- -Michael, stop. -No.
- 1414
- 01:32:00,930 --> 01:32:03,930
- Michael, it doesn't have to end now.
- 1415
- 01:32:12,580 --> 01:32:14,510
- Ben!
- 1416
- 01:32:26,660 --> 01:32:27,850
- Ben!
- 1417
- 01:32:36,600 --> 01:32:39,400
- Ben!
- 1418
- 01:32:41,340 --> 01:32:44,740
- Ben!
- 1419
- 01:32:47,280 --> 01:32:49,340
- Dad? Dad?
- 1420
- 01:32:49,920 --> 01:32:51,910
- Dad, what are you doing?
- 1421
- 01:32:52,120 --> 01:32:54,250
- Are you okay?
- 1422
- 01:32:54,950 --> 01:32:58,520
- -Oh, my God. -Help! Help!
- 1423
- 01:32:58,720 --> 01:33:00,720
- -Dad! Dad! -Help!
- 1424
- 01:33:00,930 --> 01:33:02,480
- Ben, Ben.
- 1425
- 01:33:06,570 --> 01:33:09,330
- Family. Family. Family.
- 1426
- 01:33:09,540 --> 01:33:10,590
- What?
- 1427
- 01:33:10,800 --> 01:33:15,170
- Family. Family. Family comes first.
- 1428
- 01:33:15,740 --> 01:33:17,440
- Family comes first.
- 1429
- 01:33:17,640 --> 01:33:19,770
- Honeymoon. Honeymoon.
- 1430
- 01:33:20,250 --> 01:33:23,410
- Honeymoon. l love you.
- 1431
- 01:33:25,220 --> 01:33:27,740
- Samantha. Samantha.
- 1432
- 01:33:27,950 --> 01:33:32,250
- l didn't make 200, but l love you.
- 1433
- 01:33:32,460 --> 01:33:34,290
- l love you.
- 1434
- 01:33:35,030 --> 01:33:38,120
- Bill, Bill, Bill.
- 1435
- 01:34:03,660 --> 01:34:05,650
- l'm sorry.
- 1436
- 01:34:09,430 --> 01:34:10,900
- Michael.
- 1437
- 01:34:11,100 --> 01:34:15,260
- The note you wrote her, it's in your pocket.
- 1438
- 01:34:29,680 --> 01:34:32,340
- Forever and ever, babe.
- 1439
- 01:34:39,060 --> 01:34:40,530
- lt's time to go.
- 1440
- 01:35:15,560 --> 01:35:19,660
- -Where am l? -You're in Bed Bath & Beyond, sir.
- 1441
- 01:35:19,870 --> 01:35:21,360
- l was just watching you sleep.
- 1442
- 01:35:21,570 --> 01:35:23,970
- You looked like you were having a crazy dream.
- 1443
- 01:35:24,170 --> 01:35:25,140
- What?
- 1444
- 01:35:25,340 --> 01:35:29,000
- You're not supposed to lay
- in the beds but l do sometimes.
- 1445
- 01:35:31,980 --> 01:35:34,170
- l'm back in the store?
- 1446
- 01:35:37,720 --> 01:35:41,210
- l'm young again.
- l'm young again.
- 1447
- 01:35:41,420 --> 01:35:43,390
- Well, l mean, you're not ''young'' young.
- 1448
- 01:35:43,590 --> 01:35:45,420
- l'm young. You're kind of on the back nine.
- 1449
- 01:35:45,620 --> 01:35:48,920
- No, no. No. l'm just teeing off, baby.
- 1450
- 01:35:49,130 --> 01:35:50,560
- Look at you.
- 1451
- 01:35:50,760 --> 01:35:54,440
- You want a friend? You want a friend? l'll be your friend, baby.
- 1452
- 01:35:54,640 --> 01:35:57,240
- l'll be your friend. l'll be your--
- 1453
- 01:35:58,610 --> 01:36:00,980
- Oh, my God!
- 1454
- 01:36:04,490 --> 01:36:07,010
- Yes, my crappy car!
- 1455
- 01:36:07,220 --> 01:36:10,590
- You mediocre, middle-class piece of shit!
- 1456
- 01:36:10,790 --> 01:36:12,560
- l love you!
- 1457
- 01:36:21,740 --> 01:36:25,610
- Pop, Pop. Pop. There he is. There he is.
- 1458
- 01:36:25,810 --> 01:36:28,000
- -What's wrong? What happened?
- -Nothing's wrong.
- 1459
- 01:36:28,210 --> 01:36:31,150
- Everything's incredible, Ma.
- l just wanted to tell you l love you.
- 1460
- 01:36:31,350 --> 01:36:32,870
- -l love you. -l love you so much.
- 1461
- 01:36:33,080 --> 01:36:36,380
- You gotta tell me how you do the quarter trick, it's driving me crazy.
- 1462
- 01:36:36,590 --> 01:36:38,310
- A magician never reveals his secrets.
- 1463
- 01:36:38,520 --> 01:36:40,990
- However, if you invite us over for dinner more--
- 1464
- 01:36:41,190 --> 01:36:44,650
- You come over tomorrow night, and the night after that. Any time you want.
- 1465
- 01:36:44,860 --> 01:36:47,850
- -Stop, l'm gonna have a heart attack. -No, l have the heart attacks.
- 1466
- 01:36:48,060 --> 01:36:50,900
- Thank you so much for giving birth to me l know it hurt. Okay?
- 1467
- 01:36:51,100 --> 01:36:54,560
- You have no idea. But, honey, please stay off the bong pipe.
- 1468
- 01:36:54,770 --> 01:36:56,930
- l can't promise you that.
- 1469
- 01:36:58,570 --> 01:37:02,240
- Okay. l'm up.
- 1470
- 01:37:02,440 --> 01:37:04,210
- What do you think?
- 1471
- 01:37:05,410 --> 01:37:08,110
- lf you massage me first.
- 1472
- 01:37:08,320 --> 01:37:10,410
- Okay, let's go to sleep.
- 1473
- 01:37:26,640 --> 01:37:30,700
- Mom, wake up! There's a crazy noise downstairs.
- 1474
- 01:37:34,640 --> 01:37:35,870
- What the heck is going on?
- 1475
- 01:37:36,350 --> 01:37:38,640
- Hey, do you mind? l am trying to concentrate.
- 1476
- 01:37:38,850 --> 01:37:40,580
- Here l am, staying up all night...
- 1477
- 01:37:40,780 --> 01:37:44,180
- ...trying to come up with activities for our Fourth of July camping trip...
- 1478
- 01:37:44,390 --> 01:37:45,680
- ...but you won't let me think!
- 1479
- 01:37:45,890 --> 01:37:49,980
- You want time to think? Why don't you think about the fact that you just wo--
- 1480
- 01:37:52,730 --> 01:37:53,850
- What did you just say?
- 1481
- 01:37:54,060 --> 01:37:56,900
- Yes, you heard me. lf you keep up this weird attitude...
- 1482
- 01:37:57,100 --> 01:38:00,300
- ...l won't be able to work for a year and have to plan 10 more vacations.
- 1483
- 01:38:00,500 --> 01:38:03,130
- -That make you happy? -Did you eat a bad Yodel?
- 1484
- 01:38:03,340 --> 01:38:04,360
- Give me those big lips.
- 1485
- 01:38:06,640 --> 01:38:09,480
- -What's going on down here? -Ben. Ben!
- 1486
- 01:38:09,680 --> 01:38:11,040
- Come here. Oh, my God.
- 1487
- 01:38:11,250 --> 01:38:13,680
- l missed you, l missed you. Look at you, boy.
- 1488
- 01:38:13,880 --> 01:38:16,940
- l'm gonna finish the tree house. We're gonna sleep in it next weekend.
- 1489
- 01:38:17,150 --> 01:38:20,120
- From now on, we're gonna exercise and l'm not gonna wear a Speedo.
- 1490
- 01:38:20,320 --> 01:38:21,350
- -All right! -All right.
- 1491
- 01:38:21,560 --> 01:38:24,890
- And you. Nice jump! l love you.
- 1492
- 01:38:25,090 --> 01:38:27,820
- One day, you are gonna be the hottest chick alive.
- 1493
- 01:38:28,030 --> 01:38:29,430
- But you still gotta have brains.
- 1494
- 01:38:29,630 --> 01:38:31,530
- So tomorrow l'm gonna teach you calculus.
- 1495
- 01:38:31,730 --> 01:38:32,930
- You know calculus?
- 1496
- 01:38:33,140 --> 01:38:35,500
- l knew you'd call me on that. Your mom will teach you.
- 1497
- 01:38:35,700 --> 01:38:38,430
- Now, get your rest, because tomorrow we're going camping!
- 1498
- 01:38:38,640 --> 01:38:40,370
- l know! lt's gonna be the best!
- 1499
- 01:38:40,580 --> 01:38:43,200
- -Put a sweater on! Don't take it off! -Okay, Daddy.
- 1500
- 01:38:43,410 --> 01:38:44,940
- Oh, and Sundance!
- 1501
- 01:38:45,150 --> 01:38:49,550
- Doggie years go by very quick so it's time to enjoy the real thing.
- 1502
- 01:38:51,520 --> 01:38:53,780
- Yeah, go get some, baby.
- 1503
- 01:39:08,840 --> 01:39:11,810
- What are you doing? What are you doing?
- 1504
- 01:39:13,140 --> 01:39:16,110
- No. Go to Sundance, not the duck.
- 1505
- 01:39:21,580 --> 01:39:23,570
- They told me at the pet store it was a female.
- 1506
- 01:39:23,790 --> 01:39:25,150
- They lied to me, l guess.
- 1507
- 01:39:27,420 --> 01:39:30,620
- -You staying downstairs tonight? -Why? That's getting you going?
- 1508
- 01:39:31,730 --> 01:39:35,720
- lt's Fourth of July l'm gonna celebrate with my wife.
- 1509
- 01:39:35,930 --> 01:39:40,430
- Take my time, massage her make sure she is fully satisfied.
- 1510
- 01:39:40,640 --> 01:39:44,570
- But you know, it isn't the Fourth of July, it's only the second.
- 1511
- 01:39:44,770 --> 01:39:48,270
- That's even better. Happy second of July, honey.
- 1512
- 01:39:48,480 --> 01:39:50,270
- -Think l like this holiday.
- -Yeah?
- 1513
- 01:39:50,480 --> 01:39:52,950
- l'm gonna go change into my Pocahontas costume.
- 1514
- 01:39:53,150 --> 01:39:56,950
- -l'll see you upstairs.
- -l'll bring the duck.
- 1515
- 01:39:57,150 --> 01:40:00,950
- Okay, l gotta call my dad and tell him to get the old tent ready.
- 1516
- 01:40:22,980 --> 01:40:26,210
- ''Like l said, 'Good guys need a break.'
- 1517
- 01:40:26,980 --> 01:40:30,210
- l know you'll do the right thing this time.
- 1518
- 01:40:30,420 --> 01:40:32,890
- Love, Morty.
- 1519
- 01:40:33,360 --> 01:40:34,720
- P.S.:
- 1520
- 01:40:34,920 --> 01:40:38,650
- Your wife's rocking body still drives me crazy.''
- 1521
- 01:40:39,360 --> 01:40:41,490
- Okay, Morty.
- 1522
- 01:41:04,660 --> 01:41:07,190
- Hey, who wants to have a pillow fight?
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