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homoventure?

Bigwood May 17th, 2016 35 Never
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  1. [15:55:44] <Giantree> so all the cute girls at the hotspring fall for the date rape drug you put in their drinks and are now unconscious
  2. [15:55:45] <Giantree> what do
  3. [15:56:03] <Claire-chan> woah
  4. [15:56:39] <Claire-chan> All of them eh
  5. [15:57:15] <Giantree> oh except sylvera she didn't drink anything and just kinda walked off
  6. [15:57:20] <Giantree> because a dumbass ninja tried to hit on her
  7. [15:57:21] <Giantree> and failed
  8. [15:59:07] <Claire-chan> what a casual
  9. [15:59:26] <Claire-chan> you shouldn
  10. [15:59:31] <Claire-chan> 't try to hit on your boss
  11. [15:59:43] <Giantree> nah his boss is the kokonoe expy
  12. [15:59:46] <Giantree> sylvie's his TARGET
  13. [15:59:54] <Giantree> but you shouldn't hit on those either yeah
  14. [15:59:55] <Claire-chan> damn
  15. [15:59:59] <Claire-chan> just wew my lad up fam
  16. [16:00:03] <Giantree> yeah
  17. [16:00:08] <Giantree> my lad can't be this wew
  18. [16:00:14] <Claire-chan> exactly
  19. [16:00:36] <Giantree> i will now describe the entire cast in varying states of undress:
  20. [16:00:44] <Claire-chan> oh boy
  21. [16:00:51] <Giantree> ... or attempt to and then realize they're almost all short flatties holy shit
  22. [16:00:56] <Giantree> who can i canonize as being tall to save myself
  23. [16:00:57] <Giantree> hmm
  24. [16:01:27] <Claire-chan> tfw I am the tall one
  25. [16:01:38] <Giantree> oh yeah
  26. [16:01:42] <Giantree> that's one tall w/ big tits
  27. [16:01:48] <Giantree> i guess misty is tall without big tits
  28. [16:01:51] <Giantree> and she's angry and jealous
  29. [16:01:54] <Giantree> so she became a god
  30. [16:02:00] <Claire-chan> heh
  31. [16:02:10] <Claire-chan> that's one way to go about getting over your inferiority complex
  32. [16:02:25] <Giantree> yeah that's what i would do
  33. [16:02:47] <Giantree> oh wait raquel isn't a short flatty
  34. [16:02:52] <Giantree> she's a muscly mangirl
  35. [16:02:58] <Claire-chan> woah she's here too?
  36. [16:03:02] <Claire-chan> I'm ready
  37. [16:03:13] <Giantree> yeah why wouldn't she be
  38. [16:03:21] <Claire-chan> idk I thought they went to go do something else
  39. [16:03:25] <Claire-chan> something plotty
  40. [16:03:45] <Giantree> Oh, I mean, they hung out in town - btw I finally figured out the name of the town and what it's about
  41. [16:03:52] <Giantree> the port town you're next to is ACTUALLY
  42. [16:04:05] <Giantree> ... ok i was going to name it after a corruption of a weapon name, like, 'Partizan' or something
  43. [16:04:10] <Giantree> i don't think that's even a corruption
  44. [16:04:26] <Giantree> but anyway it's the home of the craftknight guild, which totally exists
  45. [16:04:39] <Giantree> making it like, the weapon capital of the world or something
  46. [16:04:48] <Claire-chan> right, the craftknight guild
  47. [16:04:48] <Giantree> meaning there's a GOOD reason why sirrolant wanted to capture it ASAP
  48. [16:05:13] <Giantree> ... Really the only difference between 'blacksmith' and 'craftknight' is that the latter also uses the weapons they make
  49. [16:05:20] <Giantree> meaning most of them all pretty much kick ass
  50. [16:05:29] <Giantree> HOWEVER,
  51. [16:05:46] <Giantree> That's why the SVs have no reason to defend it now that the army pulled back, so they can just sort of relax a day or so
  52. [16:05:55] <Claire-chan> sounds good
  53. [16:05:59] <Giantree> the only one who might not be there is charles 'cause he's too edgy
  54. [16:06:09] <Claire-chan> so these cuties all piled straight into the hot springs like sensible people
  55. [16:06:10] <Giantree> he spends his time sitting in the corners of bars with his DARKNESS LANCE, brooding
  56. [16:06:14] <Giantree> yes
  57. [16:06:22] <Claire-chan> nice
  58. [16:06:45] <Giantree> Michelle was just there because she wanted to challenge the loli to a fair rematch, but ended up waiting through all the splash battles and groping
  59. [16:06:54] <Giantree> and is therefore susceptible to date rape drugs
  60. [16:07:46] <Claire-chan> hmm
  61. [16:07:57] <Claire-chan> obviously cute target #1 was sylvie
  62. [16:08:07] <Giantree> oh yeah
  63. [16:08:10] <Giantree> now that i think about it
  64. [16:08:16] <Giantree> she's the only one who's doing 'plotty stuff'
  65. [16:08:29] <Claire-chan> ninja guy was up there but he's too dumb to be worth it
  66. [16:08:32] <Giantree> and is probably molestable
  67. [16:08:34] <Giantree> but isn't naked
  68. [16:08:44] <Claire-chan> rip
  69. [16:08:47] <Claire-chan> uh
  70. [16:08:54] <Claire-chan> tielle is still there I assume
  71. [16:08:57] <Giantree> oh yeah
  72. [16:09:05] <Claire-chan> but I'm not going for kiuru 2: electric boogaloo
  73. [16:09:30] <Giantree> idk man kiuru was active and friendly to everybody, tielle is shy and introverted
  74. [16:10:17] <Claire-chan> no I mean
  75. [16:10:25] <Claire-chan> I'm not going to cuck the poor girl
  76. [16:10:59] <Giantree> ... do you even know about her love interest
  77. [16:11:04] <Giantree> i don't think she's told anybody but krissy
  78. [16:11:06] <Giantree> hheheheheh
  79. [16:11:15] <Claire-chan> no probably not
  80. [16:11:28] <Claire-chan> I don't think I've been paying terribly close attention
  81. [16:11:43] <Giantree> don't worry i have, i only asked as a formality
  82. [16:11:44] <Claire-chan> tbh I'm just kind of following the attractive people
  83. [16:12:20] <Giantree> yeah raquel is only attractive if you're into dykes
  84. [16:12:24] <Giantree> tielle is really girly i guess
  85. [16:12:35] <Claire-chan> hmm
  86. [16:12:47] <Giantree> the pegs don't really care about their appearance, they're on flying horses all the time
  87. [16:12:50] <Claire-chan> old people is a no, and dumb people is a no
  88. [16:13:03] <Claire-chan> but I don't think she's that discriminating outside of that
  89. [16:13:08] <Giantree> jones is dead
  90. [16:13:14] <Claire-chan> dead people is a no
  91. [16:13:14] <Giantree> UNdead*
  92. [16:13:45] <Claire-chan> oh, peg sisters
  93. [16:13:51] <Claire-chan> hmm
  94. [16:13:55] <Claire-chan> there are opportunities there
  95. [16:14:26] <Giantree> oh yeah, norn is the one who was like "everyone back in training were lesbos and i just didn't get it"
  96. [16:14:35] <Giantree> noel has been a pegasus rider for a long time though
  97. [16:14:42] <Claire-chan> it's ok, I'm a good teacher
  98. [16:14:43] <Giantree> and i think the longer they spend doing it, the gayer they get
  99. [16:14:48] <Claire-chan> confirmed
  100. [16:15:27] <Claire-chan> the 3rd law of fire emblem states there is a third sister somewhere
  101. [16:15:33] <Claire-chan> and she is the gayest of them all for sure
  102. [16:15:38] <Giantree> both of those are true
  103. [16:15:39] <Giantree> in fact
  104. [16:15:43] <Giantree> i revealed her while i was really drunk
  105. [16:15:49] <Giantree> but only one dude was around to see it or something
  106. [16:15:51] <Claire-chan> nice
  107. [16:16:04] <Claire-chan> so I just gotta get the mythical daisy chain going
  108. [16:16:13] <Claire-chan> or lily chain rather
  109. [16:16:23] <Giantree> however it's not like i care about """"""""spoilers"""""""""" so i'll just show you the portrait and you can judge how gay she may or may not be for yourself
  110. [16:16:25] <Giantree> https://s3.amazonaws.com/files.d20.io/images/18678535/wNsS18St2RX8yi8Sr-AoCA/med.png?1462216643
  111. [16:17:03] <Claire-chan> holy shit
  112. [16:17:05] <Claire-chan> gay/10
  113. [16:17:15] <Giantree> yeah
  114. [16:17:41] <Vena> is that gay
  115. [16:17:42] <Vena> or
  116. [16:17:57] <Vena> is that 'literally anything that moves'
  117. [16:18:08] <Vena> I cannot tell
  118. [16:18:11] <Giantree> it doesn't even have to be horny, it could just be a neutral, goofy grin
  119. [16:18:16] <Giantree> claire is literally anything that moves though
  120. [16:18:18] <Giantree> from what i can tell
  121. [16:19:36] <Claire-chan> mostly
  122. [16:19:40] <Vena> claire aims for the best, from what I can tell
  123. [16:19:43] <Giantree> oh
  124. [16:19:44] <Giantree> no
  125. [16:19:45] <Giantree> because
  126. [16:19:47] <Giantree> the zombie moves
  127. [16:19:50] <Giantree> and he's below standard
  128. [16:22:14] <Giantree> oh yeah
  129. [16:22:19] <Giantree> marah is also immune to date rape drugs
  130. [16:22:26] <Giantree> because they haven't made those to work on dragons yet
  131. [16:22:49] <Giantree> which is kind of weird now that i think about it, you'd think with all the dragon hunters out there people would WANT to have dragon tranquilizers to save them most of the fighting
  132. [16:23:11] <Giantree> but i guess almost all dragons are either in hiding or ancient giant treasure-hoarding motherfuckers, both of which are difficult to get that to work on
  133. [16:23:16] <Giantree> so it'd be a niche market
  134. [16:24:20] <Claire-chan> also with dragon bodies being like
  135. [16:24:23] <Claire-chan> hard light or something
  136. [16:24:28] <Claire-chan> it'd be hard to make that work
  137. [16:25:07] <Giantree> i mean, they DO have material composition, they're just metaphorically malleable and they can shapeshift
  138. [16:25:19] <Giantree> but if one looked like a girl and you grabbed her boobs you'd still feel boobs
  139. [16:26:40] <Claire-chan> yeah but I mean like
  140. [16:26:52] <Claire-chan> poison in blood? reshape body so poison is outside
  141. [16:27:32] <Claire-chan> also good idea
  142. [16:27:45] <Claire-chan> I swim over and grab mara's tits
  143. [16:27:59] <Giantree> it's like you're touching an ironing board
  144. [16:28:11] <Giantree> she just tilts her head and goes "?"
  145. [16:28:51] <Claire-chan> comical bowed head and clenched fist
  146. [16:29:35] <Giantree> excellent
  147. [16:29:38] <Giantree> drawing that 4koma now
  148. [16:35:12] <Claire-chan> ok time for round 2 I go for the butt
  149. [16:35:23] <Claire-chan> dragons have healthy butts right?
  150. [16:35:58] <Giantree> i'm hesitant to answer that because i swear just last night in here i was talking about how i dislike tera's elin, but greatly respect the idea of loli-likes with flat chests and big thighs
  151. [16:36:24] <Giantree> but everybody who isn't you is probably too disgusted by now to be reading any of this anyway, so yeah, why not
  152. [16:36:51] <Giantree> however if i ever draw these characters in any format greater than sprites you will reap the consequences of what you have done
  153. [16:37:23] <Claire-chan> heh
  154. [16:37:31] <Giantree> ... Yeah, she squeaks and then pushes you away with hilarious anime force that splashes half the water out of the spring and leaves a crater somewhere.
  155. [16:37:50] <Claire-chan> lord have mercy
  156. [16:38:03] <Claire-chan> hilarious and unnerving
  157. [16:38:06] <Giantree> and then you take like no damage because slow-on-slow combat is what you're actually good at lol
  158. [16:38:22] <Claire-chan> rib
  159. [16:38:47] <Claire-chan> ok so maybe that's not a good thing to try again
  160. [16:38:51] <Claire-chan> but no regrets
  161. [16:39:37] <Giantree> ... actually you'd probably win that battle
  162. [16:39:40] <Giantree> i think claire doubles
  163. [16:40:01] <Giantree> DAMN i'm wrong, it's 15 vs 12
  164. [16:40:02] <Giantree> SO CLOSE
  165. [16:41:21] <Giantree> 9 out of 35 versus 17 out of 60... yeah, it'd basically be like those axeman-on-axeman combats where they slowly walk up to each other with no hitrate and miss, and then the other does the same, and so on and so forth for like 50 turns
  166. [16:41:46] <Giantree> god you both auto-regen hp too
  167. [16:41:50] <Giantree> that would be fucking obnoxious
  168. [16:42:00] <Claire-chan> the fight that never ends
  169. [16:43:03] <Claire-chan> ok so I'm like "sorry I dropped the soap and thought I found it"
  170. [16:43:12] <Claire-chan> and uh, go inspect michelle
  171. [16:44:42] <Giantree> Michelle has her arms folded and legs crossed, makes you wonder why she's even in the water at all.  With a sharp glare, she sees somebody approaching and immediately goes "Piss off."
  172. [16:45:24] <Claire-chan> further inspection
  173. [16:45:37] <Claire-chan> circle at a moderate distance even
  174. [16:45:49] <Giantree> INITIATING 'SCAN' MODULE:
  175. [16:45:58] <Giantree> Age 16- fuck lemme pull up her measurements
  176. [16:46:50] <Giantree> ok i didn't actually write those out, and B/W/H in order are "eh," "fit enough," and "not bad but not great"
  177. [16:47:11] <Giantree> ... oh and she has a nasty scar somewhere from taking an attack that should've been fatal but just killed her wyvern instead
  178. [16:47:29] <Giantree> dunno where it is, it's not on the face because then i'd have to draw a new portrait
  179. [16:47:45] <Giantree> maybe the shoulder or something?  That way it can be bandaged and like, not in the water
  180. [16:47:54] <Giantree> because shit nigger that would fucking HURT
  181. [16:47:59] <Claire-chan> yeah
  182. [16:48:07] <Claire-chan> hot water does bad things to wounds
  183. [16:48:25] <Giantree> It's on the right, though, and she's left-handed (not that you'd know that)
  184. [16:48:46] <Giantree> wow am i really writing all these details on a one-off boss who was supposed to die without even having more than a name and a few lines of dialogue
  185. [16:48:47] <Giantree> damn
  186. [16:49:04] <Giantree> then again i thought arche was going to just be the butt of jokes too
  187. [16:49:07] <Giantree> you people sure proved me wrong
  188. [16:50:05] <Giantree> I've never ridden a wyvern irl so I dunno if there'd be a sort of trait or feature all wyvern riders would have from the sort of training it takes to ride one and like, carry heavy weapons at the same time and stuff
  189. [16:50:17] <Giantree> i guess it's just 'muscles'
  190. [16:50:41] <Giantree> so mimi would just be like, kind of athletically toned but not http://svf.2chan.net/nov/28/src/1462668829607.jpg or anything
  191. [16:51:20] <Claire-chan> yeah there's muscles in the groin reason important for riding things and not falling off
  192. [16:51:26] <Claire-chan> very important
  193. [16:51:32] <Claire-chan> >reason
  194. [16:51:35] <Claire-chan> region
  195. [16:51:42] <Giantree> n i c e
  196. [16:52:18] <Giantree> yeah strong legs too i guess
  197. [16:52:22] <Giantree> fine, mimi also has long legs
  198. [16:52:28] <Claire-chan> but yeah a lot of pickups are just like hey dude I ride dragons let's go
  199. [16:52:40] <Giantree> oh
  200. [16:52:42] <Claire-chan> but that doesn't work on girls for reasons
  201. [16:52:42] <Giantree> yeah i almost forgot
  202. [16:52:48] <Giantree> the druid you picked up at the end of last chapter
  203. [16:52:49] <Giantree> like
  204. [16:53:01] <Giantree> you went to a love hotel or whatever and he undid his robes and it turned out he was a skeleton all along
  205. [16:53:15] <Claire-chan> F U C K I N G
  206. [16:53:28] <Claire-chan> ok
  207. [16:53:36] <Claire-chan> no boning for him though
  208. [16:53:41] <Giantree> yeah
  209. [16:53:45] <Claire-chan> that's just how I got back so soon
  210. [16:53:48] <Giantree> yeah
  211. [16:53:57] <Claire-chan> cause druids are always doing shit like that
  212. [16:54:01] <Giantree> deads always tryin to get some bone
  213. [16:54:05] <Claire-chan> fucking disgraceful
  214. [16:54:07] <Giantree> spooky as fuck
  215. [16:54:18] <Giantree> also ghost blowjobs
  216. [16:54:20] <Giantree> somewhere in there
  217. [16:55:10] <Claire-chan> ok anyway
  218. [16:55:15] <Claire-chan> time to unleash the pickup line
  219. [16:55:30] <Claire-chan> "Do you have a mirror in your pocket?"
  220. [16:55:45] <Claire-chan> "Cause I think you're a pretty cute girl and I'd like to date you"
  221. [16:56:03] <Giantree> "You people took my armor."
  222. [16:56:23] <Claire-chan> "oh right"
  223. [16:56:30] <Giantree> "And it didn't HAVE any pockets.  And I don't date girls who look like my superiors.  And I don't date girls period."
  224. [16:56:44] <Claire-chan> "so is that maybe?"
  225. [16:57:09] <Giantree> "... Give me my spear back and I'll think about it."
  226. [16:57:25] <Claire-chan> "scary scary~"
  227. [16:57:51] <Claire-chan> something tells me drills chan is completely out
  228. [16:57:56] <Claire-chan> and also not appealing in the slightest
  229. [16:57:59] <Claire-chan> for various reasons
  230. [16:58:26] <Giantree> wait, there was a drills?
  231. [16:59:21] <Giantree> you mean the loli?  nah, she's just twintails
  232. [16:59:27] <Claire-chan> wasn't mega fortress loli drills?
  233. [16:59:34] <Claire-chan> oh ok
  234. [16:59:39] <Giantree> I GUESS
  235. [16:59:43] <Giantree> she does ACT like a drills
  236. [16:59:48] <Giantree> ...
  237. [16:59:49] <Claire-chan> yeah
  238. [16:59:52] <Giantree> hmmm
  239. [16:59:53] <Claire-chan> she has drills in her heart
  240. [16:59:54] <Giantree> i mean
  241. [17:00:02] <Giantree> i was going to give her a sidequest whenever rammy's around tonight
  242. [17:00:09] <Giantree> and michelle was actually going to be triggering it
  243. [17:00:19] <Giantree> so you might be able to worm your way into that and creep on them both the whole time
  244. [17:00:32] <Giantree> but since it's an off-day and depends on a player being around, lol
  245. [17:00:47] <Giantree> ... also idk man she's nanoha
  246. [17:00:49] <Giantree> and you're like
  247. [17:00:51] <Giantree> precia?
  248. [17:01:02] <Giantree> so basically you just need a fate to whip and torture
  249. [17:01:25] <Claire-chan> sound nice actually
  250. [17:01:34] <Claire-chan> fate is the cute one anyway
  251. [17:01:47] <Giantree> yeah and the one voiced by nana mizuki
  252. [17:01:58] <Giantree> truth be told, i'm a hayatefag
  253. [17:02:01] <Giantree> i'm sure that's no secret
  254. [17:02:17] <Giantree> so both nanoha and fate are pretty "yeah they're ok i guess" to me
  255. [17:02:27] <Claire-chan> that looks like a treegirl yeah
  256. [17:02:30] <Giantree> FUCK
  257. [17:02:39] <Giantree> TREEGERED
  258. [17:03:00] <Giantree> ... yeah i'll take it
  259. [17:03:02] <Claire-chan> treegirled
  260. [17:03:09] <Giantree> shiiiiiiiiiit
  261. [17:05:21] <Giantree> ... no i don't think she's immune to being raped though
  262. [17:05:25] <Giantree> just highly, highly resistant
  263. [17:05:42] <Giantree> the ninja should be home in a few minutes if you wanna torment him i guess
  264. [17:06:53] <Claire-chan> I think I'll pass on loli for reasons of personal distate
  265. [17:06:58] <Claire-chan> distaste even
  266. [17:07:06] <Giantree> damn
  267. [17:07:09] <Giantree> how can you not like loli
  268. [17:07:13] <Claire-chan> maybe give tielle a few idle gropes while lost in thought
  269. [17:07:15] <Giantree> i mean
  270. [17:07:17] <Giantree> GOOD
  271. [17:07:22] <Giantree> i'll hog all the loli to myself
  272. [17:07:29] <Claire-chan> I don't like loli
  273. [17:07:36] <Claire-chan> 9.5/10
  274. [17:07:40] <Giantree> it's ok
  275. [17:07:41] <Giantree> -ign
  276. [17:08:11] <Giantree> tielle has been so abused that she starts wearing a towel
  277. [17:09:44] <Giantree> oh yeah
  278. [17:09:46] <Giantree> the shukugirl
  279. [17:09:48] <Giantree> is also
  280. [17:09:49] <Claire-chan> what a shame
  281. [17:09:49] <Giantree> not loli
  282. [17:09:51] <Giantree> or flat
  283. [17:09:55] <Claire-chan> oh right
  284. [17:10:01] <Claire-chan> who was she again?
  285. [17:10:05] <Giantree> and is slightly boozed
  286. [17:10:10] <Giantree> the assassin?  one with the mask?
  287. [17:10:15] <Claire-chan> oh
  288. [17:10:17] <Claire-chan> tbh
  289. [17:10:23] <Claire-chan> I thought she was an effeminate dude
  290. [17:10:29] <Giantree> nah she's a manly lady
  291. [17:10:34] <Giantree> >shuku
  292. [17:10:35] <Giantree> >dude
  293. [17:10:36] <Giantree> heh
  294. [17:10:41] <Claire-chan> good meme
  295. [17:10:50] <Giantree> shuku is scared of dicks
  296. [17:10:58] <Giantree> more than anyone else i've ever seen on the internet
  297. [17:11:04] <Giantree> probs in the middle of transitioning
  298. [17:11:06] <Vena> >What, am I not handsome enough for you? I could pass as a male with enough practice and bindings, you know.
  299. [17:11:16] <Vena> good to see I'm playing her as initially intended
  300. [17:12:18] <Claire-chan> but yeah I would've gotten to her eventually
  301. [17:12:43] <Claire-chan> claire is technically bi but girls are more fun than guys
  302. [17:12:55] <Giantree> gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
  303. [17:13:05] <Giantree> oh that means edge-kun could be a target
  304. [17:13:10] <Giantree> remember
  305. [17:13:14] <Giantree> if you go for him you can make lance puns
  306. [17:13:22] <Claire-chan> yeah
  307. [17:13:27] <Claire-chan> the problem is that
  308. [17:13:32] <Giantree> edge?
  309. [17:13:36] <Claire-chan> flirting with boys is boring
  310. [17:13:45] <Giantree> is it
  311. [17:13:50] <Claire-chan> it's basically just learning to say
  312. [17:13:55] <Vena> that you're gay
  313. [17:13:59] <Claire-chan> "I AM A GIRL AND YOU ARE A BOY HINT HINT"
  314. [17:13:59] <Giantree> ... ^
  315. [17:14:02] <Claire-chan> in different ways
  316. [17:14:17] <Flamy|FireAway> 1:57:15 PM <Giantree> and failed
  317. [17:14:24] * Flamy|FireAway is now known as Flamy
  318. [17:14:26] <Giantree> and also died
  319. [17:14:34] <Giantree> (skull and crossbones + death sfx)
  320. [17:14:37] <Flamy> This also cau- Yeah, Shinny's gon die.
  321. [17:14:41] <Vena> yeah you hit on her
  322. [17:14:46] <Vena> and she took damage
  323. [17:14:47] <Giantree> ok there he is, now you can hit on him
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