Sad Judy update

>Judy liked a think of herself as a friendly person.
>She gave to charity, got a job as an upstanding police officer and made extra sure to greet everyone she met with a smile.
>Hell, by the standards set by the average Zootopian, she was practically a pariah.
>So why the heck did she want to wring this little slut's neck so badly?
>"-and then I say 'I'm a frayed knot!'"
>Julie laughed that adorable, bubbly laugh of hers as Nick finished the joke. It was a crappy joke and Judy had heard it before and she made sure to laugh extra hard to let that skinny bitch know that she appreciated Nick's terrible taste in comedy way more than she ever could.
>It was twelve o'clock on a Saturday, the weather was beautiful, they were sat in Judy's favourite smoothie parlours and she was completely fucking miserable.
>You see, ever since Nick and Judy had become friends they'd had this thing they liked to call 'smoothie Saturday'.
>Of course, it was Nick who came up with the name.
>Anyways, they'd promised each other to make time every Saturday to hang out by the smoothie parlour,  knock back a couple of smoothies and generally shoot the shit.
>It'd been nice. Being a police officer didn't allow you much time for friends, so their little meet-ups had become something of a treasured reprieve from the constant hassle of work. The smoothies weren't too bad either.
>Then Julie came along and ruined everything.
>Julie and Nick had started dating about a month ago, and she hadn't stopped tagging along with them since.
>Other than Smoothie Saturday Judy had three other outings with Nick: Movie Night Monday, Tennis Tuesday and Cinema Sunday.
>Julie had made a habit of crashing them all.
>Even Movie Night Monday...
>That'd been Judy's favourite. If someone was to ask her why she was always so chipper on Monday mornings, she'd say it was because she was looking forward to the night.
>Nick would come over to her place, she'd put on some of that tacky popcorn she got at a discount from the local store and they'd watch a movie together on the couch. Nothing fancy or anything. Just the two of them alone and a movie.
>One time he'd fallen asleep halfway through the film. She'd just sat there, snuggled up against him, listening to him snore. She still dreamed about it every now and then
>That'd been her night, dammit.
>"Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom," said Nick, reluctantly untangling himself from Julie's hug. Hug? For god's sakes she'd been practically DRAPING herself on him. "Make sure Judy doesn't steal my smoothie, she's a thief!"
>Julie made another one of her sickeningly sweet giggles as Nick hurried off to the bathroom, leaving the two of them alone.
>Judy wished Julie was a bitch.
>She wished the little fox was like one of those fake girls who were all nice to you when other people were around but turned to ice as soon as you were alone.
>Maybe then she could justify hating her so much.
>But no, Julie was lovely. Just fucking lovely. She was friendly, kind and likeable enough to make a BFF out of the Devil himself. She was flawless, and Judy despised her for being flawless.
>"So Nick tells me you're really getting ahead in the police force after that whole incident with [spoiler]Bellwether[/spoiler]" said Julie, setting her elbows on the table and resting her head in her paws.

>Julie smiled, and Judy had to stop herself from leaping over the table and beating the smug out of her face.
>Seriously, what was the fucking deal about foxes and smugness?
>Was it like the default setting of their faces or were they all just really, really pleased with themselves?
>"Yeah, I guess you could say I'm a bit of a hero among the other guys. Chief Bogo's even offering me a promotion." replied Judy, forcing herself to sound happy.
>"I've heard. Nick won't top talking about it-" another insufferable giggle "-Honestly, he sounds so proud. It's like he thinks you're his sister or something."
>Ouch. That shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.
>"H-he talks about me?" asked Judy. She hadn't realised how pathetically desperate that sounded until it came out of her mouth.
>"You wouldn't believe. It's kind of adorable, like a kid ranting about his favourite superhero."
>Her heart skipped and the butterflies began to flutter
around in her belly. "R-really?"
>"Yes, really. It's always 'Judy did this' and 'Judy did that'. Honestly, I would've thought you
two were dating if not for the whole 'different species' thing. It's borderline
creepy how much he knows about you."
>'Different species thing.'
>That was a stake through the heart if there ever was one.
>Not that Nick ever saw anything wrong with that...
>Nick hadn't been the one who'd seen it as a problem...
She shook the thought from her head before it began to fester and fill her mind
entirely. If she started thinking about THAT again she wouldn't be able to stop.
Then she'd start crying and it'd be really embarrassing and she'd be
too ashamed to show her face around here again.
>Wait.
>"And uh, how much DOES he know about me, exactly?"
>Julie rolled her eyes with a smile and began to list off the facts;
>Her favourite TV show, her preferred breakfast cereal, her taste in clothes, [spoiler]her secret stamp collection[/spoiler] the list went on.
>At the end of it all Judy allowed herself a small sigh of relief. The fox plushie she kept hidden under her bed sheets had remained mercifully secret.

>Nick came back to the table with his eyes fixed on his watch.
>"Hey Judy, real sorry about this but we gotta bounce.  I kinda promised Julie I'd help her move some junk out of her apartment."
>That sounded like an excuse.
>Judy shrugged it off with a smile, all the while screaming internally. He was cutting Smoothie Saturday short. You can't just cut Smoothie Saturday short!
>"Oh, well, maybe I could help out?" suggested Judy. "I'm a lot stronger than I look and..." she petered as she realised that she was beginning to sound like the desperate friend. 'Just let them go,' she chided herself. 'hold on to that little scrap of dignity you have left and let them go'.
>*Ahem* "A-actually you guys go right ahead. I have... s-stuff... to do too."
>'Don't cry. Be angry, be upset, complain to yourself about how your whole damned day is ruined but don't cry. Not in front of them. Not now.'
>She made a quick retreat from the table when she felt the tears smarting behind her eyes.
>"S-so yeah, uh, bye, and stuff. I'll see you later, okay?" she blurted out the words before the tears could make her voice go croaky. Aw, shit. She needed to get out of here, away from them.
>Nick frowned in that concerned way he did whenever he caught Judy sulking. "You alright Judes? Your eyes are all glassy."
>"I'm fine, really! It's just, uh, Bogo kept us working late Friday and I didn't catch any shuteye so I'm really tired!"
>Judy bit her lip. He knew she was hiding something. Of course he did-she couldn't lie for shit and he knew her like the back of his paw.
>"Alright," said Nick disarmingly, and Judy thanked god that Nick wasn't one to pry. Then his face bloomed into that wonderful smile of his and he scratched teasingly behind her ears. "Feel better, champ."
>"C'mon, you know I don't like it when you play with my ears!"
>She loved it.
>"Nick? Hate to break up the moment and all but we've really got to go," Julie reluctantly interrupted.
>"Alright!" Nick called back over his shoulder. "See you around, Judes." he said with a playful thump on her shoulder before scampering back to Julie.
>She threw her arms around him.
>She whispered something in his ear
>He smiled.
>Judy had never wanted to die so badly.
>"I won't cry," she chided herself quietly, turning away before the two of them could unknowingly torture her any more.
>"I won't cry," she walked off as briskly as she could without drawing too much attention to herself. The last thing she needed was for Nick and Julie to see her storming off like a stroppy child.

>"I won't cry,"

>"I won't cry,"

>"I won't cry,"

>"I won't cr-"

>She cried. It was so stupid and she was supposed to be tougher than this and people were looking at her weird and she wanted Nick back.

>It'd taken her a good hour to burn herself out. Now she was just stuck in that horrible rut between full-blown sobbing and normality. Her eyes were sore from where she'd kept trying to rub away all the tears, her throat felt all raw and her nose wouldn't stop leaking.
>She was pathetic.
>Balling her eyes out because her friend got himself hooked up and didn't hang around for smoothies?
>She was supposed to be a police officer.
>If Nick really thought as highly of her as Julie said he did, then she was supposed to be his idol.
>She shamefully plucked a tissue from the box beside her to blow her nose.
>Some idol.
>Thankfully home wasn't too far away from the scene of her little breakdown, so she didn't have to drag her blubbering ass past too many faces before hiding herself away in the confines of her apartment.
>She sat miserably on her couch with the TV blaring out some dross documentary that she was only half-watching.
>All the movie channels seemed to be showing was romcoms, and she'd rather eat a bullet than sit through one of those right now.
>She raised The wine bottle to her lips and took another swig.
>It was some fancy red wine that'd been imported from Reptropolis.
She'd planned to split the bottle with Nick a few weeks ago on Movie Night Monday, but then Julie had gone and wedged herself between them and she hadn't had a moment alone with him since.
>She looked at the label.
>You know a wine's fancy when you can't even pronounce the name.
>Or maybe that was just because she was drunk.
>Fucking whatever. It was there and she needed to get pissed and it managed to do that just fine.
>Maybe if she drank enough she'd forget about this whole crappy day.
>And to think she'd been looking forward to the weekend.

*Cue the start of the dream/flashback/deepest lore part*
>Movie Night Mondays were Judy's favourites.
>Sure, Cinema Sundays offered a new box-office hit on the silver screen, but the cinema always felt so impersonal and commercialised.
>Movie Night Mondays on the other hand... They were all about relaxation. About monging out and arguing over which actor plays the better role and casual conversations over beers.
>Movie Night Monday was all about the people watching the movie, rather than the movie itself.
>Movie Night Mondays were her favourites, and god forbid she needed it now more than ever.
>It'd been one of 'those' days.
>Maybe she'd just woken up on the wrong side of the bed,
> Maybe Lady Luck had decided to take a nice big dump on her
>Or maybe she just didn't like Mondays.
>Any which way, she felt like crap, and she was hoping that Movie Night might act as something of a pick-me-up.
>"So what're we watching?" she groaned as Nick fiddled with the DVD player.
>"I dunno. Some tacky romance I bought on discount. You're into that stuff, right?"
>"Pffft, n-no."
>Yes.
>"Yeah, because you totally didn't tear up the last time we watched one of these."
>"Shut up, Nick." she said, tossing a kernel of popcorn his way. He caught it in his mouth, swallowed it, and finished off with a shit-eating grin.
>Stupid Nick.
>Thank god for him.
>"Scoot over, your ass is hogging all the couch." grunted Nick as he rudely pushed her aside and slumped down next to her, his smile never leaving his face.
>"MY ass is hogging all the couch? Last time I checked you were the chubby one."
>"Judy, we've been over this; I prefer the term 'big boned'."
>Nick smirked, Judy laughed, and just like that, her shitty Monday didn't seem half as bad anymore.
>Didn't do much for her plethora of aches and pains, though.
>They joked their way through the opening credits. Nick commented on the soundtrack sounding like something out of a porno, and Judy mocked the main characters painfully hipster hairdo.
>It was silly and it was childish and after the day Judy had slogged through it felt like a little slice of paradise.
>She suddenly remembered that she had beer in the fridge, and if there was anything better than mocking a shitty movie with a friend, it was doing it drunk.
>Not that she ever got anything other than tipsy-she was notoriously lightweight.
>She grunted as she got to her feet-out of all her sore parts, they ached the worse by far.
>Having massive feet had its downsides, this and finding adequate footwear being a couple.
>Nick must've caught on to how craptacular she felt, because he'd put on that concerned frown of his when Judy got back to the couch, a pair of beers in her paws.
>"'Sup?" asked Nick, plucking one of the cans from Judy and cracking it open.
>"Nothing."
>Nick shrugged dismissively. "Alright."
>...
>...
>...
>"My feet hurt."
>Nick stared.
>Nick snorted.
>Nick laughed.
>"I-it's not funny!" stropped Judy. "We were doing training drills and Bogo had me running laps until my toes bled!"
>"Ohohoh, it's plenty funny," cackled Nick, and then Judy started laughing too, try as she might not to. The fox had one of those infectious laughs that you couldn't help but join along with.
>"Sorry, it's just... aaahaha, goddamn, caught me off guard... whew. You're like a little munchkin or something."
>She punched him in the arm just enough to hurt.
>"Alright, alright, I'm sorry!" chuckled Nick, not at all sorry. "Yknow what? Here, lemmie make it up to you. Pass me your feet."
>"What?"
>"I said pass 'em here, c'mon! Look, trust me, alright? I've got a lot of experience with this type of thing."
>"... What kind of experience?" asked Judy, edging slowly away from him.
>"Not like-look, a couple years ago I had this part time job at a massage parlour and I guess I learned a thing or two from the guys who worked there, okay?"
>...
>"*Snrrk* YOU worked at a massage parlour?"
>"Sh-shut up Judy."
>"Ooohohoh no, If you think I'm dropping this you've got another thing coming. Oh man, I am going to make SO much fun out of you for this..."
>"Look, do you want the foot rub or not? And just so we're clear this is like a one-time offer, between two friends, casual thing. So y'know, don't start getting all weird about it."
>On a normal day she would've said no.
>She would've laughed it off as a joke and thought nothing more of it.
>But Y'know what? It wasn't a normal day. It was Movie Night Monday and her feet hurt like hell.
>"Alright, go ahead-but if you tickle me I'm kicking you."

>"Me, tickle? Puh-leaaaaase, don't insult me," he patted a beckoning paw on his lap. "Now hurry up before I change my mind."
>She brought her feet into Nick's lap and rested her head onto the arm of the couch, taking her first swig of beer and wincing at the taste. Ick. She never liked this stuff-far too bitter for her taste. Nick seemed to enjoy it though, so she made sure to stock up on them every Monday morning. She swore, the things she did for him were just-
>"-hnnnnng!"
>Judy half grunted, half sighed as Nick thrust his fingers into the sole of her foot. A bolt of shock shivered up her leg, pins and needles following in its wake. Then his palms followed through and relief flooded over her like a bucket of cold water.
>"H-holy shit..." she sighed before clapping her paws over her mouth. Did she just say that out loud?  If Nick's self-satisfied smile was anything to go by, then yes.
>"Look at you, using big boy words," snarked Nick, kneading a knuckle into her heel and relieving the mountain of tension which resided there. "Told you I was good at this."
>"Less bragging, more rubbing..."
>Was this weird? Probably, but screw it-she was a bunny police officer who was best friends with a fox scam artist. She was practically the antithesis of normal already. Foot rubs from a friend counted as fairly tame when compared to the weirdness of her day to day life.
>Judy turned her attention back to the TV screen-they'd both been ignoring the movie for a good ten minutes, so in terms of plot they were more or less lost. Of course, that didn't stop Nick from tossing out the occasional quip.
>Judy simply watched in contented silence.
>Here, in this small, boring moment of time, surrounded by the comforts of her crumby apartment and the company of Nick...
>This was her happy time.
>That blessed, fleeting moment in the day where nothing mattered but the two of them.
>She loved Movie Night Mondays.
>The night drew on, and Judy managed to nurse her way through two more beers before she admitted to being a little tipsy.
>"*Hic*"
>Well, maybe a little bit more than tipsy.
>Nick had racked up a total of four empty cans, and from what Judy could tell he was flat out sober. Or maybe he was just good at hiding the fact he was drunk.
>Either way, he didn't let it get in the way of his foot rub.
>He hadn't been lying when he said he knew his way around a massage-not that Judy would ever tell him that. He was smug enough as it was without her paying him any compliments.
>The Movie wasn't half bad, either. Sure, they both poked fun at it, but when Nick was involved, they poked fun at anything and everything.
>The plot was straight up Racoon & Jaguar.
>Two animals from two different species falling for one another in that typical bullshit romcom way.
>Stupid...
>But cute.

>"Y'know there's this new thing called 'stretching', you should try it." commented Nick offhandedly and he tenderly pushed his palms into her calves.
>By the time he'd finished with her feet he'd offered to move onto her legs, and Judy had reasoned that there was little point to leave a job half done.
>"I stretch all the time," mumbled Judy defensively. She was tired, teetering on the edge of consciousness. Sleep beckoned to her and she had a good mind to let it come.
>"Yeah, well, muscles don't lie and yours and bunched up real nasty."
>Tired as she was, she still found the strength to giggle.
>"Whatever you say, massage boy."
>"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" said nick with an exasperated sigh.
>"Nope."
>"Yeah, thought not."
>They sank back into blissful silence. The movie was reaching its end. Now all that was left to do was fall asleep to whatever cringey feel-good song they played over the credits and this night would be more or less perfect.
>The main character-some prettyboy wolf just out of his pre-teens-swept up his stiffly-acted love interest-a sheep-and the two of them sucked face to some happy go-lucky pop-song, just as she predicted.
>She closed her eyes as the credits began to roll, and dozed off to slee-
>"So what do you think about that kind of stuff?"
>Or not.
>"What stuff?" she asked with a yawn, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
>"Well, y'know..." he made a gesture towards the television screen. "THAT stuff."
>"...Clichéd stories and characters portrayed by sub-par actors?"
>"Oh har har. I mean interspecies stuff... Like, I dunno, a dog hooking up with a cat, a moose having a fling with a donkey, a weasel getting it on with something... not a weasel. That kind of stuff."
>"Why do you ask?"
>"Oh, no reason. It's just that we've never really talked about it before and uh, I uh, well I'm just curious, is all."
>...Was he blushing?
>"Well, I dunno. It'd take some time to explain, I guess."
>Nick shrugged, and Judy caught what looked like a flicker of hope passing across his face. "Well, we got plenty of time. I mean it's only-" he glanced at his watch "-really, really late... but we've got time."
>She sighed. This was something of a touchy subject for her, but if it it'd make Nick happy...
>"I think it's weird. Not wrong or anything just, well, weird."
>"Weird how?" asked Nick raptly.
>"Well... Okay, look. I wasn't exactly raised in the most multicultural of areas. Heck, I barely talked to anyone outside of my species until I came to Zootopia. When you have a childhood like that, acceptance doesn't come easy. I mean, I'm not a racist or anything but the first time I saw a tiger I nearly screamed..."
>she warily rubbed at her temples. This was turning out to be far more difficult to explain than she thought it'd be.
>"I guess what I'm trying to say is that some species just scare me. Namely the predator ones. It's silly and I know they shouldn't but they just do, and I couldn't imagine myself... being... with someone who made me feel like that."
>"...Right. Cool." said Nick offhandedly, and Judy could tell from the casual way he smiled that she'd fucked up somehow.
>Nick was a far more emotional guy than most gave him credit for. Judy had seen him laugh and she'd seen him cry, but that was only because he considered her a friend. If you weren't in his small circle of trust, you'd have as much luck getting emotion out of him as you would getting water out of a stone.
>Like Nick had always said: when you were raised in the company of vampires, you'd better make sure you don't bleed.
>So, instead of acting angry, or sad or hurt like any normal animal would, Nick had instead developed himself some walls in the shape of a smile.
>Namely the one he was wearing right now.
>"Hey, what's up?" she asked, reaching over to set a comforting paw on his wrist. She hated it when he used the smile on her-it made her feel as if she was talking to a stranger.
>Nick pulled away from her touch. "Nothing. I'm fine, really." he said with a reassuring grin that was made up of lies.
>Hey, don't try and brush me off! just tell me what's..."
>Something clicked.
>The question.
>Nick's touchy-feely-ness.
>That blush.
>"-Wrong...Crap," she squeaked. "Oh, crap. N-Nick, I didn't know-"
>"It's nothing, Judy. Seriously, I'm fine." he said, moving to get up from the couch. There was enough finality to his voice to tell her that there was nothing he wanted more than to bury the subject entirely.
>"Nick please! Can we at least talk about this?" she whined desperately, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and dragging him back to her. He slumped back down, closer than before.

>"Just forget I ever said anything, Judes. Just..."
>Nick glanced over at her pouting face, and his walls came crumbling down with a shaky sigh.
>"Would really be all that bad?" he asked pitifully. "That stuff... but with you and me?"
>"I-I don't- I mean I never-"
>She didn't know what to say.
>There were a thousand thoughts and emotions scrambling around inside her head, all chasing the tails of one another, and she couldn't voice a single one of them.
>Then Nick saved her the trouble. He reached over, set his paw on hers and kissed her.
>...
>The maelstrom raging away in her mind settled into silence.
>A lighting bolt of passion lanced through her heart, sharp and shocking and wonderful.
>Her paw found his chest. She could feel his heartbeat.
>He tasted like beer...
>His lips were so soft...
>She wanted this to go on forever.

>Slowly, almost reluctantly, Nick broke the kiss. Their lips parted with a small 'smek' noise that somehow seemed loud enough to fill the whole room.
>Judy was dimly aware that her mouth was open, but she couldn't quite get herself to close it.
>She was all... Giddy-like there was electricity under her skin. Her face burned hot and her heart wouldn't stop skipping beats. Was she shaking? Why was she shaking?
>Nick looked caught between embarrassment and shame. His face hung inches away from hers, and his breath beat warmly against her.
>Judy felt a smile tugging at her lips, and Nick must've seen it, because he broke out a smile of his own, full of relief and hope and love-
>-And teeth.
>Sharp teeth.
>They were so close to her neck-too close. If he really wanted to he could... he could...
>His mouth moved towards her, and the little voice in the back of her head told her to run. To bolt for the door as fast as her feet could carry her and not stop running until her legs gave out.
>It was that little bastard called instinct, and it had a nasty habit of being awfully convincing.
>She shouldn't have listened to it.
>She did.
>Judy scrambled backwards with a small gasp of terror, some half-buried primal terror pulling at her strings.
>It only lasted for a second...
>But that's all it took to break Nick's heart.
>She wanted to say sorry.
>She wanted to kiss him again.
>The voice at the back of her head wanted her to stay away.
 >The shell-shocked look of despair Nick wore said it all. She'd hurt him. She'd hurt him worse than a flat-out rejecting him or rebutting his advances with insults ever could have.
>She was afraid of him.
>They'd been friends for almost a whole damned year and they'd weathered the worst that Zootopia had to offer together and she was afraid of him.
>There weren't words for that kind of hurt.
>"Nick I-"
>"It's okay. Uh, it's okay..." he said, and Judy could tell from the croak in his voice that he was trying to hold back tears.
>'Don't cry, not over me! Get angry and shout my at me, throw a tantrum and toss crap around my crummy apartment, but please just don't cry!'
>"Yeah... I think It'll be for the best if I just go ahead and leave now," He said. He sounded hollowed out-empty, as if someone had gone and scooped the cheer out of him.
>"C-catch you later, Judes."
>She wanted to tell him to stop.
>She wanted to tell him to stay.
>The voice at the back of her head made her stand there and watch him leave.

Cue the end of the flashback/dream segment. End is in sight, guys.

>It was Sunday morning, the sky was blue, the sun was shining, and Judy felt as if her brain was three sizes too big for her skull.
>The sunlight crept through the curtains and lashed evilly at her eyes.
>Everything was too loud. The beeps and revs emanating from the road next to her apartment block raged around inside her head like a swarm of angry hornets.
>She also stank.
>*Sniff sniff*
>Badly.
>She'd never had a hangover before, and if this was anything to go by, she'd be perfectly fine with never having one again.
>At some point throughout the night she'd stumbled over to her bed, discarding the half-empty bottle of wine on the floor. She could smell it from here-no doubt she'd gone and spilt whatever she hadn't drank on the carpet. Wouldn't that just be the cherry on top of the turd?
>She clasped something in her paws. Her fox plushie. No doubt Nick would laugh his ass off and tease her into an early grave if he knew about it.
>She held it tighter to her chest, burying her nose into its fluffy head and breathing in its scent. It smelled like old cotton and fox fur. It was one of her few possessions which she truly loved.
>Her police badge was a close second, but the plushie earned bonus points for being extra-cuddly.
>She wasted a little more time in bed before resolving not to spend the entirety of her Sunday sulking about and feeling sorry for herself.
>Besides, today was cinema Sunday, and as far as she knew, Julie spent Sundays down the spa, meaning that Judy had Nick all to herself.
>Nick...
>Her thoughts went back to last night's dream.
>The awkward foot rub, the passionate kiss, the horrific way they'd parted...
>Nick hadn't spoken to her for a week after that. Maybe He'd been angry or maybe he'd been ashamed or maybe he'd just been flat out embarrassed.
>Either way, it'd been one of the most painful weeks of Judy's life.

>She'd spent entire nights awake and staring and her bedroom ceiling, contemplating whether it'd be better to give Nick some space or just drive down to his place, kick open the door and scream apologies into his face until he finally forgave her.
>She'd practically flooded his answering machine with pleads to call her back. It'd been a pathetic sort of moping more befitting of a drama queen than a cop, but she hadn't cared. She'd wanted her friend back.
>Part of her wanted more than that.
>She'd spent entire days at the police department daydreaming about that kiss.
>About how warm and inviting his lips were, about the steady thump of his heart beneath her palm, about that slight musky smell to his breath that made her feel all tingly on the inside...
>She'd never kissed a boy before.
>Was it always meant to feel so fantastical? She hadn't dared ask any of the girls around the police department.
>And then there was that horrible little voice, lingering at the furthest reaches of her mind, satisfied that the predator was gone and they were safe.
>Judy never knew that she could hate something as much as she did that voice.

>The next time she'd seen Nick, they hadn't so much as talked about that night. It'd been lingering constantly on the tip of her tongue, but Nick hadn't allowed her a chance to bring it up. The fox had a talent for controlling a conversation, changing the subject whenever she got close to so much as mentioning it.
>Eventually she stopped trying, and things went back to normal. Nick pretended that nothing had ever happened, and Judy reluctantly went along with it.
>And then, as welcome as a fart in an elevator, Julie had come carousing into her life with her arms around Nick's shoulders.
>She'd wanted to hate Julie. She'd wanted to hate her so bad.
>But at the end of the day, when the chips were down, Julie wasn't the one at fault.
>If Judy hadn't freaked out over something as harmless as a kiss, then Julie wouldn't even be part of the equation.
>If she'd just flat out apologized and told Nick that she might've felt the same way, maybe things could've been different!
>If she hadn't let Nick bury that night-if she'd forced a discussion out of him and straightened things out, then maybe she could be something more to him than that asshole friend who shat all over his feelings.
>Maybe...
>Fuck it. She had better things to do than lay in bed and make herself cry over 'maybes'.
>It was Cinema Sunday, the day was young and Nick was waiting on her.
>She was going to make the most of this day if it killed her. No more crying over spilt milk.
>Judy waited patiently in the cinema parking lot.
>The shower had done away with the stink, but hadn't done much for her headache, but she decided to tough it out like a good little trooper.
>Even if it meant sitting through a good two hours of cinema with the inside of her head feeling like hammered shit.
>She liked to think that alone time with Nick was worth the pain.
>There was little hope for a relationship between them-that ship sailed as soon as Julie came into the picture-but that didn't mean the two of them couldn't still be friends.
>Maybe friendship would be enough for her, maybe not. Either way she wasn't going to think about it anymore. She'd spent the past few weeks of her life chasing 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' and all it had earned her was misery.
>Today she was just going to go with it.
>Go with the flow,
>Let the chips fall where they may and WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK WAS JULIE DOING HERE?
>The fox pulled into the parking lot, driving some hybrid, electric-pink monstrosity of a car.
 >She waved at her spunkily from the drivers seat.
>Day officially ruined.

>"Judy! Hey yooou!" chimed Julie in a way that somehow managed to be cutsey, patronizing and annoying all at the same time.
>"Julie... Hi," replied Judy, trying her hardest to keep the disappointment from her voice. She failed horribly. "Where's Nick?"
>"He's got work to do at home. He says he's sorry he couldn't make it and stuff, but he's like, REALLY busy."
>There was a pit in her stomach. Cinema Sunday and he was busy. The one day that they had alone together, and the laziest fox in the whole damned city was busy.
>In the blink of an eye her day had gone from diamonds to dog shit.
>"Sooooo-" Julie sang as she jostled her paw through the contents of her horrendously glossy handbag and yanked out a cinema ticket. "I thought I'd just tag along instead! Girl's day out, right?"
>Judy felt lost somewhere between despair and anger. It was bad enough that Nick skip out on Cinema Sunday, but to send Julie instead?
>The fox threw her arm around Judy's shoulder In a buddy-buddy sort of way that pushed all the wrong buttons.
>"So come on, let's go! We can go for milkshakes afterwards and everything, it'll be like, the best day ever!"
>Juuuust on the cringey side of trying too hard.
>"Heh heh, yeah... awesome." replied Judy with as much optimism as she could muster. It wasn't much.

>The movie had been the slowest two hours that Judy had ever endured.
>Julie was not her kind of person.
>She was loud, she was brash, and she couldn't seem to stop herself from elbowing her in the ribs every five minutes and whispering some offhand comment about how she 'bet that guy was the killer' or thought an actress was 'like, a total slut in real life'.
>She hadn't even bothered to turn her phone off.
>Judy had been in a rush to leave as soon as the credits started rolling. Naturally, Julie wouldn't have any of it.
>She'd practically dragged her back to her car because "Girlfriend, didn't I promise milkshakes afterwards?"
>It was unreal.
>She was like every bad trope and cliché out of every crappy tween movie all rolled into one.
>She even Smelled like bubblegum. Fucking bubblegum.
>How did a guy like Nick fall for someone as vapid as this?

>Julie slapped the milkshake down in front of Judy ecstatically, leaning on the edge of her seat and biting her lip in anticipation. "Go ahead," she said. "Try it."
>She raised the milkshake to her mouth and sipped at  the orange froth. The taste of carrots exploded in her mouth like a firework of flavour. A shiver of satisfaction crawled up her spine and a small groan of pleasure came rumbling out of her mouth.
>"Like I said, they're the tits, right?" exclaimed Julie with no small amount of pride.
>"...It's okay." Judy grudgingly admitted. The taste settled on her tongue and she secretly revelled in it. The dour fact that this was the best part of her day so far hurt in all sorts of ways.
>"Just okay? C'mon, you can't look me in the eye and tell me that shit isn't amazing."
>"It's uh, well it's pretty good I guess." said Judy in the vain hopes that it might satisfy Julie; maybe then she'd shut up and let her have a moment of silence to wallow in. Today had been disastrous enough to earn itself a place in the history books.
>All because of Julie.
>Today was supposed to be her day and Julie had ruined it just like she had ruined everything else. Just as she had ruined Smoothie Saturday and just as she ruined things between Nick and her. Wherever Julie stuck her nose, misery soon followed. She was like a catalyst for shittyness.
>She'd invaded her life and stolen everything good and wholesome and poisoned everything else like the glamorous little parasite she was.
>She was cancer.
>"I know right? Nick and me swung 'round here the other day and he was all like 'Y'know who'd love this? Judy, that's-'"
>"I hate you."
>The words slipped out of her mouth too fast for her to stop them. Julie recoiled as if she'd just reached across the table and slapped her.
>The bottom of her stomach fell away and the blood drained from her face as wave of dread scrambled down her back like a swarm of spiders. She shouldn't have said that-why, why, WHY did she just say that?
>"What?"
>'Apologize, pretend you didn't say anything, tell her she misheard you,' she begged herself. But then Smoothie Saturday came rushing back to the forefront of her mind-
>Julie throwing her arms around Nick's shoulders.
>Bending in close to whisper into his ear.
>Nick smiling...
>The anger and the jealously that'd been brewing inside her spilled over, and Judy exploded in a near-screaming rage.
  >"I said I hate you, god DAMMIT! I hate your smug face, I hate your stupid voice, I hate your shitty taste in fashion and I hate your fucking cringe worthy buddy-buddy attitude!"
>Heads were turning, and the other customers had begun to mutter among themselves. Judy was far too angry to pay them any attention.
>"I hate how you're always butting into my life and hate how you're always trying to be so fucking NICE!" spittle flew from her mouth as she finished her tirade, feverish with anger.
>Julie's face went from shocked to stony. Her paws balled into fists, her lips pursed into a tight frown, and her ears flattened themselves against her skull.
>Something horrible broiled behind her eyes.
>Judy practically threw herself from her chair, brimming with hate. This was going to turn into a fight, and she awaited it eagerly. She'd imagined doing things to this fox that'd curdle the blood of demons. In this moment, more than ever, she wanted to hurt Julie. She wanted to hurt her in ways that'd leave her broken dying.
>She wanted to see blood.
>And then Julie began to cry.

>Julie's wracking sobs doused the fire in Judy's belly, leaving her standing there with her fists up like a jackass. All of a sudden the anger was gone, and she was left with nothing other than a sinking feeling in her gut and the disapproving  stares of passers-by.
>As the red mist faded, the guilt began to set in.
>"Julie?"
>"Shut up, just shut UP!" she half screamed, half blubbered. "If you hate me so much then how about you just fucking go, okay? It's not like you'd be the first or anything."
>And there it was; the curveball. Judy knew from the second she'd heard it that she'd fucked things up on a monumental scale. Wonderful. And here she was stubbornly thinking that she could've made it through the entire day without making herself feel like shit. Silly her.
>"Julie, look, I really didn't-"
>"What, you're still here? Just-just fuck off, alright?" spat Julie, and  the bitter resignation she said it with told Judy that this wasn't the first time something like this had happened to her.
>If the crying had tickled Judy's guilt, that resignation had shoved a boot up its ass and kicked it into overdrive.
>Julie had skipped out on her spa day just so Judy didn't have to spend Cinema Sunday alone.
>She'd went through the hassle of spending time with her when there were undoubtedly a thousand better, more productive things she'd rather be doing.
>She'd even paid for Judy's milkshake.
>And she'd just repaid her by screaming blind hate in her face.

>Well, she supposed she had to fix this now; her conscience would eat her alive if she didn't. She could already feel her heart withering away inside her just standing here and watching Julie cry. Walking away now would be the equivalent of emotional suicide.
>Besides, once you got past all of her annoying little habits, Julie was a nice person. Aggravating as hell, but nice.
>Judy set a paw on Julie's arm and put on her finest puppy dog eyes, folding her ears downwards to give herself that extra-sad aura. People threw around the 'cute' stereotype a lot when it came to bunnies, and Judy hated it as much as the next rabbit. However, she'd be lying if she didn't admit that there was at least a few grains of truth to it.
>For example: when she really wanted to, she could turn herself into a weapon of mass heart-attack.
>"Julie? I'm really sorry. Do you think we could get another round of milkshakes?" she gave a small tilt to her head and a look that could melt glaciers. "Please? I'm buying this time."
>Julie rewarded her efforts with the small beginning of a smile through her tears, and Judy returned it with gratification. After all the non-stop fuck-ups she'd been having lately, it felt good to actually fix something for once.

>"Sorry about the whole 'bitching out' thing back there," said Julie, cupping her drink between her paws and looking at anything other than Judy. She'd quieted down a lot since Judy had went and exploded at her. She'd barely said ten words since they'd decided to put Judy's enraged outburst behind them. At first Judy had expected that she'd somehow intimidated her-then she remembered that she was a bunny rabbit and that the idea of her intimidating a fox was outright laughable.
>No, this wasn't intimidation, it was a show of Julie's true character. Beneath all that glamour, girly-talk and brashness hid a shy little fox with a sweet-tooth for milkshake; she'd made her way through two already, and Judy had insisted that she pay for both.
>"Don't be. I didn't mean to... flip out... so bad. Believe me, I'm only half that much of an asshole on most days."
>That got a giggle out of Julie.
>"But seriously," continued Judy. "I'm surprised you took it as hard as you did. I'm not worth getting that upset over, trust me."
>Julie cringed, raising her milkshake to her mouth, almost as if trying to hide behind it. "Yeah, I uh, I don't do all that well with rejection," she said, sinking further into her chair. "It's not like a mental condition or anything, it's just that I... well I never had that many friends growing up."
>Ah.
>"I was the quiet girl in class and nobody really liked me that much, so I guess I got sort of clingy in my later years," explained Julie. "It's not a big deal or anything, It's just I get sort of weird about losing friends... and being left alone... and stuff."
>Judy acted before Julie could throw herself back into a tearful rut. "Wow, YOU were the quiet girl? I'm calling bullshit."
>Julie snorted into her cup as she raised it to her mouth. "Y'know I don't remember you being this funny. Nick must really be rubbing off on you, huh?" she said offhandedly, and Judy felt the heat rise to her face. Nick. Why did she have to bring up Nick? Out of all the people in the world Julie was the last person she wanted to talk about Nick with. It was a recipe for disaster. If she found out how she felt about him she'd... She'd...
>"So you like Nick, right?" commented Julie, almost casually.
>Shit.

>Judy felt her world drop out from underneath her feet,"W-what? No! I... I mean it's not that I don't like him as a person, it's just that-"
>"Judy, c'mon. I've seen the way you look at him. I'm not stupid."
>"I-it's not like that! It's just we spend a lot of time together and... and uh..." she groped fruitlessly for an excuse, her mind clasping at straws only to have them slip away into the abyss of panic she was drowning in. "...is it really that noticeable?"
>With a nod, Julie confirmed the worst of her fears. She should've seen this happening sooner. Nick had always teased that she wore her emotions on her shoulder-heck, she knew herself that she couldn't lie for shit. How hadn't she realised how fucking obvious it must've been up until now?
>Julie was still talking. Judy was too busy worrying to listen.
>Nick probably knew.
>She let that thought and all of its horrible implications sink in. The more she thought about how she'd acted around him lately, the more probable it seemed. It'd explain why he'd been acting so different lately; cutting Smoothie Saturday short, not turning up for Cinema Sunday, distancing himself from her... oh sweet bunny-god, don't let it be true!
>"Yeah, he knows," commented Julie, as if reading her mind. "He pretends he doesn't, but he does."
>"H-how do you-"
>"It's like I said yesterday: he doesn't stop talking about you.  Don't get me wrong, Nick's, like, really particular with his words, but that doesn't mean he doesn't let something slip every now and then," Julie cracked a mischievous smirk. "Besides, I'm a much better listener than I let on."
>"Oh... Oh dear..." stammered Judy. Little did Julie know that every word out of her mouth was a lash across Judy's pride. He knew. Of course he knew. This wasn't embarrassing. This transcended embarrassing.  This was some nameless amalgamation of emotion that towered over embarrassment like some grotesque movie monster.

>"Judy, are you alright? Your ears have gone all red."
>"No. I'm not alright. I'm really, really not. He knew all along?"
>"Yeah, pretty much-I mean it's not like I mind or anything. I mean, us girls can't just CHOOSE who we wanna get with, right?" Julie reached over to place a paw on hers. "Before you start thinking I'm some bitchy Ice-Queen who cut you off, I didn't notice until we were already dating. Besides, I think he mentioned that you weren't into doing that sort of stuff with predators, so I just sort of assumed you wouldn't have too much of a problem with it." She ran a concerned eye across Judy's dour face. "You have a problem with it, don't you?"
>Judy snapped herself out of her shell-shocked stupor. "I... Well..."
>Yes. She had a massive problem with it. She had a problem big enough to measure on the Richter scale. But what was she supposed to say? 'Yeah, sorry. But whenever I see your boyfriend I can't help but wonder how his mouth tastes, or what his fur smells like, or if his paws still feel as good as they did when he was touching me last Monday. Honestly I'm sometimes surprised that I don't just pounce on him right there and then. Y'know, girl problems!'
>"W-well..."
>'Did you know that I'm STILL daydreaming about the time he kissed me? Can't get much more thirsty than that, right?'
>"You see..."
>'What can I say? I want to screw your boyfriend. I want him to hold me and kiss me and do things to me that only the French have words for. Then at the end of it all I want to fall asleep to the sound of him telling me he loves me, wrapped in his arms with my head against his chest and his breath on my neck. Hope that doesn't creep you out or anything.'
>"Okay," breathed Judy in a grim acceptance of her fate. There'd be no bullshitting her way out of this one. She'd been trying to maintain her pathetic masquerade of indifference ever since Julie had wrapped herself around Nick's arm, and she was finding out just now that it hadn't worked worth a damn. If she was really that transparent then there'd be no point to lying.
>That didn't make telling the truth any easier, though.
>"Okay. Yes. I have a problem, and if I'm going to tell you why I'm going to have to fill you in on some... Things. Things that happened a while ago between me and Nick that more or less turned my world on its head. I don't think you're going to like a lot of what I'm going to say, and I'm sorry in advance, but I need you to just sit there and listen to me, okay? I promise I'll let you shout and swear and call me everything under the sky afterwards, but for now I just need you to listen."
>Julie nodded attentively.
>Judy began to talk.

>She told her everything. Nick's infatuation, their kiss, her fuck up, the week of silence that had followed, everything up to the moment Julie had found her way into Judy's life. Julie had sat and listened through it all. There'd been a thousand emotions playing across her face throughout; shock, concern, anger, sadness, all eventually boiling down to a forced glower of indifference.
>Judy finished. Julie spoke.
>"So. I'm the rebound girl."
>She spoke the words with a clammy indifference, but Judy could hear the devastation that rampaged just beneath the surface. She'd heard herself talk like that plenty of times before; Judy considered it the sound of heartbreak.
>She felt as if she should be saying something-anything. Stumbling over apologies, blathering out I'm-so-sorrys and all that other meaningless shit. Nothing came. All the words that danced eagerly on the tip of her tongue came across as patronising or insufficient.
>There weren't any tears. The hurt she'd just thrown on Julie went beyond her earlier, explosive rant. Anybody could drown out the pain of petty insults with enough tears. If you really wanted to hurt someone, you told them the truth.
>Julie stared down into the contents of the cup in her paws, desolation brooding just behind her eyes. "I thought I was special," she said finally. "That... I dunno, that he loved me or something." She worked her tongue around her mouth as if searching for more words to say. She settled on a weary sigh instead.
>"I've been here before, y'know. I mean not exactly, but pretty damn close. First it was at school, then it was at work and now it's gone and found its way into my love life." She looked as if she wanted to cry, but at the same time she seemed far too tired to try and muster up the sobs.
>Judy still wasn't sure what to say. She prided herself on her ability to make people happy, but she got the feeling that trying to cheer Julie up would be like trying to fix a broken neck with Band-Aids and happy thoughts.
>Julie swigged back whatever remained in her cup, and Judy reckoned that she wanted something a shitload stronger than milkshake.
>"I'm the third fucking wheel again."
>She tossed her cup aside and got up to leave, and Judy couldn't stop herself from reaching out to grab her paw. If she let Julie leave like this, something terrible would happen. She wasn't certain what, but her intuition screamed at her to do something regardless.
>"He never meant to hurt you," she heard herself say. "I mean, he can be kind of mean at times but he'd never-"
>"I know, Judy. Nick's not that sort of guy and he wouldn't do shit like this to people on purpose," Julie said that as if she'd done so a thousand times before. It was almost as if she knew the words off by heart. "Just let me deal with this, okay?"
>She smiled, and through all the pain and loss Judy saw a faint glimmer of resignation. "I... I know he's a nice guy, and I know he likes me and he never wanted to drop this shit in my lap. But he did. He did and I can't just stand here and accept it."
>She pulled her paw free of Judy's and walked away, and Judy couldn't help but feel as if she'd sneezed over a house of cards.

>It was one AM, she had work in the morning and she felt as if she could sleep for hours. Instead, she sat upright in her bed, the darkness of her bedroom alliviated by the electric blue light of her phone.
>She'd sent a pair of texts to Nick as soon as she'd gotten back home. She hadn't been too certain on what to say, so she simply settled on an 'R U alright?'
>What was she supposed to say? "Hey, I just potentially ruined your relationship with Julie. Just so you heard it from me first."
>He hadn't answered, so she'd sent him another. And another, and another, and another. Nick should've replied by now. He took his phone with him wherever he went and she knew for a damn fact that he never turned it off.
>She kept telling herself that he must've been in the bathroom, or the shower, or whatever. She knew it wasn't true, but that didn't stop her from hoping.
>She was halfway through tapping up another text when Nick finally came through with a reply, and crushed her hopes there and then.
>'Stop texting me'
>There was a ball of ice in her belly. Her skin worked itself into goosebumps and the cold, sickish dread she'd been holding at bay with doubtful optimism came crashing down on her like a malestrom of rain. Her fingers desperately busied themselves with her phone.
>'I'm sorry' she typed.
>...
>'Fuck you, Leave me alone'
>She didn't even bother to try and stop the tears from coming. They rolled freely down her face in hot rivulets. Her fingers kept working regardless.
>'Nick please, I'm sorry. What happened?'
>...
>'You made Julie leave me.'
>It was just as bad as she thought. Guilt ate away at the pit of her stomach and the ball of ice in her belly just kept on getting colder. Somehow she'd found a way to fuck things up again, and something told her there'd be no fixing things this time around.
>'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. Can I come over? I just want to explain things.'
>...
>...
>...
>The wait was insufferable. The longer it dragged on the more anxious she got, and the more anxious she got the more she cried. It felt as if she was drowning in a pool of her own despair.  If she couldn't have Nick as a lover then fine, but let her keep him as a friend. She begged whoever might be listening to at least let her keep him as a friend!
>Nick texted her back.
>Judy felt the light inside of her wither and die.
>'I'm changing my number. I don't want to see you again. Stay away from me.'
>"Oh no..." she heard herself whimper. She'd lost him. Her best friend, the only person to go out of his way to be nice to her, the single goddamned reason she got up on a saturday, the one animal who made this hectic life bearable and she'd lost him. Her fingers raced across the screen of her phone in a futile attempt to stop the inevitable.
>'Nick please don't I didn't mean to ruin things I really didn't but Julie started talking about it and it just came out and I don't want to lose you Because I love you and I don't know what I'd do please please hate me all you want because I'm stupid and I deserve it but don't leave me please don't leave me don't leave m-'
>A tear splattered against the touchscreen like a big, watery full-stop, and Judy stopped typing.
>Somewhere along the line the ball of ice in her belly had turned into a glacier, and the pool of despair had become an ocean. She felt sick-ready to throw up, only when she opened her mouth all that came out was a ragged sob.
>"Nick... Please don't leave me alone."
>Hoplessness warpped its clammy fingers around her, and she let it pull her away...

>No.

>The denial cut through the darkness like a knife forged with determination. It was a straight, unwavering and stubborn denial. No. Not again.
>She'd stood and watched as Nick had dragged himself brokenhearted from her apartment.
>She'd stood and watched whilst he'd subtly suffered through heartache and consoled himself with Julie.
>But she wasn't going to stand and watch whilst her best friend slipped away from her.
>She was through with pointless crying. Through with cowering away in a corner and resigning herself to suffering. Through with letting things stay broken. She was going to fix this. She didn't know how, but she was going to. She marched from her bed and grabbed her keys.
>The determination had began as a candle flickering amongst the black pit of sorrow looming within her. By the time she'd thrown her coat over her shoulders and made it to her car, it was a raging fire, burning away all the despair and sadness and doubt. When she pulled out of the car park and began the journey to Nick's place, it'd become a supernova of sheer will.
>For a brief moment Judy pondered where her sudden tenacity had come from, but when she thought about it, the answer was simple.
>Had this just involved her, she'd be back at her apartment either sobbing herself to sleep or drinking herself into oblivion. She was like that when it came to things as delicate as feelings: always the one to hide herself away and cry when something hurt her.
>But this didn't just involve her.
>Twenty two blocks away, huddled in his apartment, Nick was hurting because of her.
>She wasn't going to allow that. She'd hurt him once already and watched as he suffered through the devestation she'd wrought on him. She'd be damned if she was going to let him go through that again.
>Because despite what he thought, she was still his friend,
>And because deep down, in her heart of hearts, she knew that despite all the shit she'd dragged him through, all the heartbreak and pain and rejection-
>He'd still do it for her.

>Nick lived in what many considered the rough side of town, where the air carried the smell of cigarettes and the alleyways and shadow-draped crannies all seemed to threaten muggings. She avoided it in her free time and practically lived in it whilst she was on duty. When it came to crime, this neighbourhood excelled.
>So yeah, there was a good reason why they always had Movie Monday around her place.
>She pulled up next to Nick's apartment complex. It was a sad, grey building nestled away among all the others, its gray walls plastered with graffiti and gang signs and stains of... She didn't want to know.
>After she and Nick had cracked the missing mammals case, Nick had made a promise to himself to stay on the straight-and-narrow. That meant no more hustles, no more scams, and most imortantly, no more tax evasion.
>Paying off his unpaid taxes hadn't done Nick's financial situation any favours; the sorry state of his living quarters paid a grim homage to that. She'd offered to let him move in with her and split the rent, but he'd always rebuked her in that childish, teasing way of his. Nick had been a loner his entire life; living with someone else would never sit right with him.
>It hadn't stopped her from daydreaming about it in her free time, though...
>Coming home to the smell of Nick's cooking as he rustled up dinner for both of them-his cooking was fantastic, far better than the microwave crap she sustained herself on...
>Getting to see him and spend time with him every day instead of the blessed, meager few hours she had with him now...
>Maybe... Maybe bunking with him on those particularly cold nights, feeling those heavenly paws around her belly and the warm touch of his breath on her neck and the hot, suggestive bulge of his-
>Okay, daydream over! Time to go see Nick.
>She hurried into the complex, locking her car and hoping against hope that it'd still be there when she came back.
>She flew past the broken elevator, up the stairwell and across the off-white hallways which led to Nick's place. She practically threw herself against the door, hammering it with her fist.
>"Nick?" she called. "Nick, I know you're in there, open up!"
>She stopped her rapping briefly, waiting for a reply. When none came, she went back to knocking-louder this time. When dealing with a moody Nick, persistence was key. The petrubed groans of the residents she'd awoken with all the noise she was making rumbled through the hallway.
>"Nick, I'm not leaving until you let me in; don't think I won't kick this door down!"
>The complaints grew louder. She ignored them. It was the middle of the night, she'd just driven twenty two blocks and her best friend was emotionally screwed. She'd wake up every last soul in this whole damned building if it meant fixing this mess.
>She heard footsteps approaching from behind the door, her keen ears also managing to discern a hushed, wet sniffling. Was... Was he crying?
>"Nick?"
>"Fuck off, didn't I say I never wanted to see you again?"
>He did, and it hurt a lot more to hear him actually say it than it did just to read it in a text. She took it on the chin and accepted it as something she deserved.
>"Nick I'm sorry, but could you please just open the door? I can't talk to you like this." she pleaded.
>"I said fuck off!" he yelled, and Judy could hear the tears in the way his voice croaked. It hurt her far more than cruel words ever could. Once again she'd broken his heart. This time around, however, she was determined to pick up the peices and put them back together. She laid a paw against the door, took a deep breath, and spoke.
>"I'm sorry, Nick. I'm so sorry. I know that I'm probably the last person in the world you want to see right now but I couldn't let things go without coming here to tell you that personally. I'm sorry, and I'll say that as many times as I have to. Now could you open the door so I can say it to your face?"
>...
>The pause drew on for a suspenseful eternity. Judy was about to start knocking again when she heard the metalic clunk of a bolt lock. The door swung open, and Nick stood in the doorway.
>Oh, Nick...
>He was a mess. His eyes were glassy and red from tears and is fur had that disheveled look to it that bespoke tantrums of sobbing and despair. The aura of hopelessness that loamed from him told her plain and straight that all the 'sorrys' in the world wouldn't fix what she'd broken.
>She was determined to give it a try anyways.
>"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," she decided to push her luck and reached out to put a paw on his shoulder. He swatted it away stubbornly.
>"If that's all you're going to say then I'm gonna save us both the time and slam this door in your face right now." he said plainly, moving to close the door.
>"Wait!" shrieked Judy, jamming her foot into the doorway. "Please, just wait and hear me out! I... There's so much I want to tell you and... And..." the words jumbled themselves armound in her head. There was so much to say-she just needed to figure out how to say it. "Can I come in? Please?"
>Nick's furious demeanor faltered momentarily, and Judy took her chance. "Just give me a chance," she begged. "One chance and then I'm gone and you won't ever have to see me again!"
>Nick narrowed his eyes, but Judy knew him well enough to see the contemplation working behind his angry facade. Finally something gave inside him, and he stepped aside to let her in. "One chance," he warned. "One chance to explain this shit and you're out on your ass.
She nodded gratefully at him, all the while celebrating on the inside. She had a chance. Nick was still mad and the situation was still fucked but god help her, she had a chance.

>Of all the things that surprised her about Nick, his housekeeping skills were definitely in her top five.
>Small and cheap as it may be, Nick had turned his cramped, scummy apartment into a cosy little haven. Coming in from the dank hallway littered with grime and cigarette butts was like entering the solace of a warm home on a cold winters day.
>The rug was clean and comfortable under her feet, the windows were covered with jovially patterned curtains and the pillow-loaded couch sitting in front of Nick's dinky TV looked particularly inviting under the warm light of the lampshade.
>Nick beckoned for her to take a seat, and she sat herself down on the couch. He leaned himself up against a wall and regarded her with a sour look of distrust, his ears flattening against his head in a way that said 'you've got a shitload of explaining to do'.
>"So," began Nick, and the cold calamity with which he said that word conveyed just how  pissed he was with her. "Talk."
>His straight forwardness was so unlike him that it caught her off guard. She recovered as hastily as she could. Alright, talk. Just tell him what you did, why, and pray to whoever's listening that he forgives you.
>"Okay... So I told Julie about that night we-"
>"You WHAT?"
>-whoever she was praying to must've been a real asshole.
>Nick clutched at his head, working his thumbs into his temples as if she'd managed to give him a migraine. "Why would you... Didn't I tell you to forget about that? Just leave it in the past with all my other fuck-ups?"
>Judy mentally fortified herself for the storm of anger she was about to submit herself to. "Nick, I've said I'm sorry and I'll say it again, but... But Julie deserved to know."
>"Deserved to know? Deserved to know what? That I got drunk off my ass one time and made a stupid mistake?"
>A stupid mistake. That would've hurt Judy's feelings if it wasn't such an obvious lie.
>"Nick, I've made a lot of mistakes over the past couple of weeks. Enough to know that what we did together, that night, sure as hell wasn't one. I-I think about that night a lot, alright? I think about what I could've done, what I should've done, how it felt... But what I think of most of all is how much I must have hurt you."
>"OH god- just stop talking, alright?" barked Nick. "Just stop talking."
>Something wet rolled down her cheek, and all of a sudden she was crying. "I th-think about it so much. I have nightmares about it. S-sometimes I wonder what I'd do if things were the other way around a-and I can never think of an answer."
>"Judy I'm serious, don't even go there!" Nick's voice broke, and Judy could hear the tears welling up out of the cracks.
>"I don't know why you ever came back to me, and I don't know why you were still so much of a friend to me, because I know that a hurt like that, it doesn't just go away. S-so you tried to cover it up. Julie always said you t-talked so much about me. But you never talked about her, Nick. All the times we were alone and you never even bothered to bring her up."
>Nick took a menacing step forwards, and for just a second, Judy saw the full extent of the raw animalistic aggression that all predators kept sheathed somewhere deep within them. His teeth bared in a primal snarl and his eyes shrank into murderous pinpricks. It was gone in an instant, but it was more than enough to put the fear of god into Judy.
>"Judy, if you say what I think you're going to..." he didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to. The threat was evident enough as it was. She was playing with fire, and she was only a couple of words away from getting burned.
>She sighed. If she was going to get burned, she may as well go all-out and stick her head in the furnace.
>"You were using her Nick. I-I know it sounds like a crappy thing to say but it's true. You were using her and she deserved better."
>"... Get out."
>"W-what's her favourite TV show, Nick? What's her parent's names?"
>"Get. Out."
>"What did she want to be when she was a kid? What school did she go to? Did... Did you even know about the problems she had growing up? Do you even know where she came from?"
>"I said GET OUT!" he wailed, and the tears came streaming down his face and the sobs came wheezing through his gritted teeth and Judy wished more than anything that he could just keep on being angry at her instead.
>"You... You don't know, do you? You've been dating her for over a month and you barely know the slightest thing about her. Nick, I'm sorry but... I couldn't just let it go on."
>"God dammit," breathed Nick, Backing away into the corner like some wounded beast and burying his face in his paws. Judy had never seen Nick like this before, crying so openly. It was agony to watch. Without thinking she rushed to gather him up in a hug.
>"I'm sorry," she said as she threw her arms around him and squeezed. "I'm sorry I put you through all this and... And..." the words dried up. She held him tighter.
>She didn't know how long she stayed there holding him, and she didn't care, either. She would've gladly kept her arms around him forever if it meant making him feel any better. An angry Nick was one thing, but a crying Nick was something she simply couldn't deal with. Gradually his paws settled around her back, and his sniffling nose burrowed itself into her shoulder.
>"Was it really all that bad?" he asked, his voice a sad waver. "I was lonely, alright? I never really liked anyone the way I... the way I liked you. I guess I never noticed how much I wanted something like that until-" Judy felt him shiver under her paws as he harkened back to that night. "Y-y'know. And well, Julie was there and she was willing and I wanted... I NEEDED someone to fill the gap."
>He heaved a frustrated sigh and wiped his eyes with the back of his paw. "Look, I've never been good at wording all this emotional stuff. You left a hole in me and it needed filling-*snff*-and if you make a joke out of that I'll kick your ass, Judes."
>Judy choked a laugh out through the tears. Even now, at a time like this, he had that terrible sense of humour of his. She laughed out of relief more than anything. That shitty little quip was Nick's way of showing forgiveness. Whatever else happened tonight, she could rest easy knowing that at least, on some minute level, Nick still thought of her as a friend.
>That alone was almost enough to start her sobbing again.
>Nick accepted her brief bought of laughter with a small grin that made the butterflies rise in Judy's stomach. How could anybody be so forgiving? So accepting? She'd ruined what he'd had between himself and Julie and then turned up at his doorstep at the dead of night just to tell him that he never even loved her in the first place-
>-And he just smiled that beautiful, beautiful smile of his. That smile did things to her. Made her feel things she wasn't too sure she could name. Was it passion? Excitement? Happiness? She didn't know, but she'd drag herself through all kinds of hell just so she could catch a glimpse of that goddamned smile.
>The words came out before she could stop them.
>"I love you," she breathed.

>Judy clapped a paw over her mouth far too late. The cold realisation of what she'd just said settled in, and her world came grinding to a standstill. Horror, dread, panic, all were overshadowed by the sheer mass of nameless emotion that crashed over her as those words left her mouth.
>She closed her eyes and awaited the inevitable shitstorm.
>It never came.
>"I know," he said with a pained sigh. He sounded weary-that rough kind of weary-the kind of weary her dad used to get on Monday afternoons, sitting down after a long day's work and suddenly realising that he was old and everything inside of him ached like hell.
>Her head spun. Julie had told her he knew before she stormed off earlier this afternoon, but to hear it from Nick himself confirmed it. He knew. He knew of that secret desire she hid behind every 'hello' she said to him and the agonizing reluctance she suffered whenever she had to say goodbye. He knew about the jealousy and resentment she harboured for each kiss Julie had stolen from him, the horror she felt when she laid awake in bed at night, wondering if Julie and he were busy doing... things together...
>"Subtlety isn't exactly one of your strong points," explained Nick. "I mean c'mon. You seriously thought I didn't notice the way you looked at me whenever Julie wasn't around? I'd hate to use the dumb bunny stereotype but-"
>"Dammit Nick, why didn't you say anything?" snapped Judy, and in the blink of an eye her blushing embarrassment blackened into simmering fury. She was angry-so angry that she would've hit him, had he been anyone else. She didn't so much break away from the hug as push Nick off of her.
>"Hey, cool it, alright-" began Nick, raising his paws disarmingly.
>"No!" she roared. "No I won't 'cool it'! Damn it Nick, do you know what I've been through? Do you know how much I... I WANT you? Do you know how much trouble you could've saved me if you'd just came out and told me you knew?"
>She could feel her anger bubbling over. There was a dragon inside of her, made up of hate and rage and every other abbreviation of 'pissed off' under the sun.
>Then Nick killed it with five simple words.
>"I thought you were afraid,"

>...
>Judy said nothing.
>There was nothing to say.
>Nick had always been good at hiding his emotions-even from her.
>How could she have been so stupid? She remembered the way Nick looked all those nights ago when she'd recoiled from him in terror; A broken fox, a fox who'd just had all that was good and righteous in his world torn away and crushed in front of him by the very person he admired the most. She could remember grimly pondering to herself how badly she'd maimed him, thinking to herself how that wasn't the sort of hurt you recovered from.
>She'd been right.
>Judy stared slack jawed and teary eyed, and Nick stared back, his face bearing the same visage of emotional ruin and complete devestation it had on that cursed movie night.
>The wound she'd given him hadn't healed. It hadn't even began to scab. She'd peeled back all the layers Nick hid himself behind only to find that he was still just as broken as she'd left him. He just managed to hide it well, was all.
>Hiding it all this time...
>"Oh Nick," she choked, and for the umpteenth time that night she began to cry again. "You stupid bastard. You stupid, stupid bastard. I'm not afraid. Not of you, not ever..."
>Casually Nick bared his teeth, and as if on cue Judy felt the little voice of instinct yanking at her strings. 'Run,' it whispered into her ear, 'Hide.' She felt herself flinch, but forced herself to stay where she stood. It wasn't easy; the little voice had a way of sounding awfully convincing.
>Either way, Nick must've caught that little flinch of hers-the resignation and resent that played across his face made it fairly clear. He crossed his arms and looked away, determined not to let her see him cry.
>Now that the little voice was there it refused to leave. It shackled her legs, pulled at her arm like a persistent child, and demanded she leave before things got bloody.
>She forced herself to take a step forwards. "Nick," she said. "Please, I'm not afraid."
>Nick spared her a disparaging glance only to cringe away as if he'd just seen something rotten. She must've looked terrified.
>Judy took another step forwards, and the little voice gradually turned into a scream. She couldn't stay here, not with him. Her eyes went back to his vicious teeth, then down to his fingers, tipped with ichor-black claws. Those claws looked so cold- would they feel cold when they dove into the soft meat of her belly?
>It'd be easy for him. Not even a challenge, really. He'd rip and rip and all her insides would be on the outside and she'd be lunch. She should run. Run and hide before he killed her. Killed her and ate her.
>'Shut up,' she chided the voice, taking another step towards Nick. Close enough to feel his breath on her face, close enough to catch his scent; the hot, spicy smell of a predator. "I-i'm not afraid," she repeated.
>The scream turned into an overbearing roar, an order issued by her basest instincts. Run or die. Those were her options. Run as fast as her legs could take her or suffer through whatever murderous intentions this monster had in store for her...
>...
>Monster.
>All of a sudden, everything the voice had whispered in her ear seemed completely and utterly laughable. So much so that she could've burst out laughing there and then. A monster? Nick? Fond memories of quiet Monday nights in front of the TV and calm saturday afternoons by the smoothie stand came to mind, along with a plethora of others-
>That time She brought herself that tacky old game console from the thrift shop and cristened it by kicking his ass at Mortal Wombat...
>That time he tried to show her how 'a real man' drives and nearly wrapped her car around a lamp post...
>That time he brought her that charm bracelet she'd seen in the jewelery store window, just because he could...
>That time she scraped her knee and he'd fussed over her like a worried mother...
>Nick was a lot of things, but a monster?
>That was just silly.
>She stepped forwards, reached out, and took Nick's muzzle in her paws. "Nick," she said as she pulled his face to hers. "I'm not afraid."
>She thrust her mouth onto his, and fell forwards into a sea of bliss.
>His lips was soft, tasting like mint mouthwash and love. She felt him jolt beneath her paws like a startled beast-heard his sharp intake of breath and that little surprsed noise at the back of his throat. Her upper lip brushed gently against one of his finely pointed teeth, and she subtly rejoiced in how foreign his mouth seemed. This was something forbidden. Something society and nature deemed uncouth and dirty and wrong.
>She was tasting the forbidden fruit, and sweet cheese and crackers, it was delicious.
>Nick finally eased into the kiss, his lips gradually puckering to hers. Kissing her back. He was kissing her back. Her heart fluttered in the strangest of ways, and excitement rushed over her in a wave of pins and needles.
>His paws settled delicately around her waist, coaxing her into the warm encompassment of his arms. The predatory musk she'd noticed earlier filled her nose, and now that the little voice had stopped hassling her she realised that it seemed equal parts enticing as it did threatening. There was something angry and masculine about Nick's scent that tickled her arousal in ways the musk of a prey animal never would.
>It was incredible. Perfection captured in a moment. His fur was so soft and his mouth was so wonderful and if this was to carry on for eternity you wouldn't hear a word of complaint from her.
 >Nick pulled backwards to break the kiss, and Judy followed after him persistently, her paws finding his ears and tugging him back to her. Not yet-just a little longer. Let her spend a little longer in paradise.
>Their mouths broke apart with a wet sound that sent all the right kinds of shivers down her spine, and she sighed in blissful satisfaction.
>She'd dreamt about those lips. Centered entire fantasies around them. Daydreamed away entire days, pondering with a horny curiosity how wonderful they'd feel. Did... Things... To herself late at night with those heavenly lips and that lithe, predatory tongue of Nick's at the forefront of her imagination.
>None of it compared.
>None of it compared in the slightest.
>Her expectations had been high enough to touch the sky, and Nick had just taken her to the goddamned moon. He stared at her, his expression rife with surprise, and Judy suddenly noticed the silence which loomed over them.
>"So, uh, yeah," she said, the embarrasment flooding over her-turns out kissing your best friend out of the blue is actually a somewhat awkward thing to do. The heat rushed to her face as she blushed. "L-like I said, I uh, love you... And the whole predator thing doesn't bother me anymore. So uh... Be my boyfriend? Please?"
>...
>The unbearable silence drew on just long enough for the part of her to entertain the horrific possibility of rejection--
>And then Nick smiled, and made her the happiest bunny in the whole damned world.
>"You know I can't say no to that face, Judes."
>"YES!" she bellowed, flinging her arms around his shoulders and dragging him into a crushing hug. A cocktail of relief, celeration and sheer joy played across her emotions. She felt like dancing, singing and screaming a primal victory cry from the tallest mountain in Zootopia all at once.
>Instead, she just settled on kissing Nick again.
>She crushed her lips against his, a giddy, merry feeling bubbling away in her belly. He returned her kiss with enthusiasm, his mouth parting and his tongue darting forwards as agile as a wasp to mischievously tease at her bucked teeth. It brushed against her upper lip on the way out, coaxing a small, excited sound out of her.
>Her paws groped wildly at whatever they could find; fistfuls of shirt, the heavenly soft fur of Nick's neck, the crumpled scruff of his collar-she felt a couple of buttons come loose as she tugged at the last one, revealing...
>Her fingertips kissed at the fur of his chest, and Judy broke away from their kiss, transfixed.
>In her frantic passion, she'd yanked the top three buttons of Nick's shirt open, unveiling a glimpse of what lay beneath. It was a little thing; the sort of thing she wouldn't take notice of on a normal day, but for some offhand reason she couldn't make herself look at anything other than that small, subtly flirtatious V of chest.
>Her fingers pushed through the sandstone-yellow fur, probing at the musculature beneath with an almost nervous anticipation. She'd given plenty of thought as to how Nick was like under that patterned green shirt of his, but she never thought he'd be so...
>Limber.
>The muscles stretched taught across his chest, wound tight and ready. He had the body of  predator-ready to spring into chase in an instant, brimming with a savage, primal energy.
>"Judes?" asked Nick, the gentle caress of his paw against her ear snapping her out of her trance. "You okay? You're, uh... Breathing all hard."