An Aggressive Love Confession

Hey, dipshit, what's this?

[mockingly] "A letter" Yea, I know it's a letter. I'm talking about what's written in it.

You don't know? It's from you, you should know what's in it.

You signed your name, you f-cking idiot. Now, what the f-ck is this?

Oh, you don't remember? Would you like me to read some of the lines? *ahem* Your sun-streaked hair, your-- Stop? Oh? You *don't* want me to read it? So you *do* know what's in it. Tell me, then. Tell me what's in this little old letter that you seem too embarrassed for me to read out loud.

Yea, a confession. A stupid confession. A heart-felt, lovey-dovey, sugary-sweet confession. All for my viewing displeasure. Now, why in the *hell* would you write this for me?

Oh, it *wasn't* for me? Then, if it wasn't for me then why was my name on it? With hearts around it, I might add.

Oh, it's for someone else? Someone else with the *exact* same name. Sure. Ooh, I bet they go to a different school, don't they? Still doesn't answer why it was on my desk.

You wanted me to proofread it. Uhuh.

What did I think of it? Oh, well, I'll admit, it was incredibly well written, much better than your talking. It didn't stutter, it didn't mumble, it didn't avoid eye contact or any of the other things you do. You know, it might be a bit of a shame that it wasn't written for me.

What if it was for me? Well, some *very* interesting things would happen to you if it *was* for me after all.

What sorts of things? Oh, I don't think you want to find out what would happen. Now, the question is *did* you actually write it for me?

Still won't admit it?

You know, your lying would be more believable if you would look me in the eyes.

...Come on.

Good [boy/girl/____]
Now, who did you write this for?

That's right. You wrote it for me. Lil' ol' you wanted to confess to me. Disregarding *why* in the actual hell you like me, which makes *no* goddamn sense since I've been antagonizing you since I met you, why would you do it through a letter? You know I live in the room right next to you. All you had to do is walk right next door and be like "hey I like you", but no. You did it through a letter like you're from the 1800s.

Oh, you were too nervous to tell me in person. Now, why is that?

I'm intimidating? [incredulous] How am I intimidating?

I'm loud and abrasive? Where did you get that idea from? Actually, fair. Fine. I'm scary. Scary ol' me intimidated you into writing a love letter.

Anyway, what in the absolute *hell* were you thinking doing this? What did you think was going to happen? I was just going to be like [sarcastically] "oh darling, take me in your arms so we can cuddle and kiss and do other love-y things!" I was just going to suddenly swoon because you, the *bane* of my existence, just charmed me with your *incredibly* well-written words. All the months of loathing were just going to be *washed* away with--with--- this!

God, I hate you so much! I hate your stupid face your stupid smile... your...soft eyes... beautiful brown hair... excitable, adorable mannerisms...

*sigh* F-ck me, dude. I didn't want to do this... Not yet... *sigh* Get up.

I said GET. UP. *grabs the listener and kisses them* *sigh* Why did you have to do this to me?

Yes, I love you too dipshit. I just... I don't know how to show it. I... I've had bad relationships in the past and... it hurts to feel love now, so, I just took it out on you. And you, poor old you, just took it on the chin and kept being happy-go-lucky you. And, somehow, you kept being nice to me and then you just... fell in love with me.

I... I don't understand it. I really don't. But... I don't think I have to. I think you'll be different. At least, I hope you will be.

Yes, this means we can cuddle. Gosh, not 30 seconds in and you're already looking for affection. What a dork. A sweet, adorable dork, but a dork nonetheless.