It hurts me so much that we broke up over my temper flaring again, looking back on it you didn't
really have a role in it and it was just Kasey and Jannell trying to get involved into someone
else's relationship. I don't want to take you back because how many times have I done this? But
I'm so lost and miserable without you always being by my side, the real reason I went to the
Hospital was because I was under suicide watch from how alone I felt, and the days only have been
getting worse. You're having so much fun without me and if you're happier without me I will gladly
stay out of your life. I'm far from perfect and I have many flaws within me, wether that's being a
complete asshole or a multiple felony criminal, and I hate to admit when I'm in the wrong. Kasey's
and Jannell's decision was very immature and my hate for them has grew far beyond belief. But I
didn't really see your role in it, it almost seems like their goal was to make me angry and break
up with you when I really didn't want that. I was frustrated with you, yes, but I left it alone
because I needed time alone to think. Then they just come after me like that when I'm trying to
cheer myself up and make my day better. But in the end, I don't give a shit on what happens to me,
I just want you to be happy; with or without me. I could have the worst life ever but as long as I
know you're happy, that's already a big plus to keep continuing life. I never want to leave you in
a situaion of despair where I'm not there to help you. I'm embarassed as fuck to say this but I'm
a really big fuck up. You are for a fact, better off without me, it may not feel like it but you are.
And I can't love anyone else because I nobody understands me the way you did; and I don't understand
anyone as well as I did with you. I have no hate towards you or anything which is why it's killing
me to not be with you for a dumb reason. People really dislike us being together so much to the point
do where they would tell a lie just to see how I would react. In case you're wondering, no I don't have
feelings for Jannell; and now I most definently don't after what she did, I don't want to see their
faces ever in my life again. However I want yours to be the only one I see. You changed me, you made
me see that there is good things in the world, and how I could never give up on anyone. I will always
have these feelings for you and they will never subside. I could die today and still love you in the
after life hoping that you persevere and come out on top. It's already killing me enough that you guys
want to act pity over it when they're the ones who started the situation. But in the end, no matter how
long I hate you for, I will always go back to adoring you. I still find it weird to this day on how I
felt the need to approach you and talk to you in science sophomore year because I never do that. I must
really be attracted to someone in order to do that in person. You probably are fucking pissed at me for
writing this much but I've had the worst nights of my life hoping that I would be okay, but I knew every
second laying in that hospital bed that I wasn't going to be okay. Because you weren't there for me because
I pushed you away out of sheer anger. Well basically since I'm a fucking idiot, what I'm trying to get at is,
I will be here waiting if you want to come back to the asshole person that I am. I don't give a fuck what
other people would think, I'll be here, because I'm definently not cuffing an ordinary bitch. You're beyond
extraordinary and I hope you realize that. I don't know how you're feeling at all or if you even want to see
my face again but I just want you to know, I love you.