apter 12

Sushi and Kimchi Are Found One Second Before Death

(Or How I Told Death to Kick Rocks [and dodged the law])


Not many people know this, but I had a close encounter with death many times in Asia. I also came close to getting arrested a few times too.


I’ll start with the deaths because I want to end this on a high note.


My first encounter with death came in 2013. I ran the hardest trail in my life at the time. Internationally, there’s a group known as hashers and what they do is walking or running tour around unknown areas of a country. The group I ran with were super athletes that were powered by years of training like Goku (from Dragon Ball) and beer. These hashers were a mix of people that worked a variety of jobs. Many were English teachers while others were military, corporate workers, backpackers, and Koreans that were comfortable around foreigners.


This was my second hash and it was the most brutal I ran. I thought I was so cool, I decided to do the running trail. Previously, I did a walking trail just so I could get used to how things were. This day, I decided to be a “bad man” and run with the best.


That was a huge mistake.


The way a hash works is before the actual run, you have people go out and make hash marks on the trail. While they’re doing that, the main group running or walking the trail has to go through a ritual. Once the ritual is done, we’re sent off to follow the marks.


The trail we went on was actually very beautiful. We were in the northwest part of Seoul and we had a lot of ground to cover. We had a chance to see the city as well as the countryside.


When you take these trails, you NEVER know what you’re going to get yourself into. One Saturday, you’re running through a little league soccer game and the next, you’re in the area where Snoop Dogg is filming a music video with Psy.


On this particular trail, we had to run up and down many mountains, walking through someone’s garden, go through an abandoned trail, make a beer run, illegally climb a fence to get to a park that was too darn far to walk through, and climb 2,000 steps to get close to the base.


Climbing those steps was the hardest thing about this trail. What made it tolerable was I had a man that was previously in the  Army with me. By chance, we met at the stairs and we both had to climb them. My body was breaking down at this point, but I had no choice. I made the decision to do this and to better my health. There was no way I was going to quit.

I was 10 steps in and my body said, “SCREW YOU, SHAUN!” The Army veteran talked to me like how a drill sergeant talks to his recruits.


YOU’RE NOT GONNA QUIT ON ME, ARE YOU SHAUN?! WE’RE NOT EVEN A QUARTER TO THE TOP AND YOU’RE TIRED ALREADY?!


Not going to lie, that actually got me irritated. His words did work because my determination kept me from giving up.


I kept going as hard as I could throughout those stairs. There was no way I was going to let them whip my behind like this. Each step I made did hurt, I’m not going to lie. My behind, my thighs, and my calves were on fire. In addition, it was very hot and all of my water was gone.


Left, right, left, right. That’s what I could think about climbing those stairs.


The drill sergeant kept my fire going. It’s amazing how much harder we work when we have someone teaching and guiding us to improve. I haven’t felt that since my high school days (the last time I played sports).


Over time, we made it to the top. It was a very satisfying feeling! The really hard part would come a few minutes later.


Instead of being able to run any further, I had to drag my feet. I felt like I had extra weight on them and another set of stairs or hills were out of the question.


As time went on, I was starting to see black. I couldn’t take the heat anymore and exhaustion was creeping in. What’s scary is that I didn’t know it at the time. My eyes were open but everything was getting black. Thankfully, I was by the World Cup stadium and someone in a golf cart came by and picked us up. We were later dropped off at the local grocery store and rested there.


We made it back to the hash site in time for the closing ritual. We were under the shade and they had some food ready to go. It took about 30 minutes but I was getting my energy back. What’s crazy about all of this was I suddenly had a surge of energy to go back out there and run again. Me being on the verge of death and surviving made me feel invincible!


After this, I stopped doing hashes. It wouldn’t be until a few years later, I’d be put in a similar situation but have a much worse outcome.