Ordinary Person..?

	Note: (my keyboard is slowly getting more and more broken. Also this prompt will be modeled after Ordinary People, a book that uses italics to speak the characters thoughts, I cannot do that on pastebin though, so brackets will have to do. Also unlike the book, I will be punctuating to make it easier to read.. Also ALSO if you see a * that's for definitions/slang/things people don’t know it’ll be at the bottom of the page.)

	It’s 1 in the morning. [[Drats, looks like I woke up early from my dream. I gotta respond to people. Why would people pick up the phone so early? I can’t just start off my day like this. I need some better footing. Back to sleep I go. Why does my day always start early?]]

	I guess it’s three now.  [[I look outside. Snow. Finally. I’ve always loved the winter since I was a kid. The alarm is set for 5:30. Crap. I guess I’ll stay up. Northernlion. Playing the Binding of Isaac Rebirth* sleeping with the TV on has always made me less anxious. I can work without it. Guess it saves the power. Did people actually think we were going to have a snowday today?]]

	My mom wishes me a nice day, I grab some peanut butter crackers to start off the morning with some ice cream. [[I have great health procedures. I knew the snow-day wouldn’t happen after I looked outside. Too warm, too shallow. I told a girl that a snow-day wouldn’t happen, she said screw you. Guess I got the last laugh.]] I tend to speak to myself when I’m outside. Gives me some company to work with while I fight the harsh cold. [[Now that I think about it, it’s pretty toasty. I like these gloves. My mom got them for christmas a year or two ago. How times have past.]] I always imagine the bus missing me. I don’t think bus-drivers are bad at their job. But they aren’t the most consistent people in the world. I get it, driving isn’t all that perfect. [[my bus driver has always been a little tough on the brakes]]

	I always just look out the window on the bus. Just staring out into the winter wonderland in November. [[Maybe I should listen to music. Wait, I wanna save my battery until Study Hall, or maybe until I get on the bus. Jude. People can wait 10 minutes for your phone to charge. I expect my teachers to complain lightly about how there was no snow-day. Physics. Frick Physics. Why is it nice out here? I kinda wanna build a snowman. Damn. Am I really that inconsistent with my thoughts? I hope this hoe won’t steal my seat in the afternoon. Hoe is a strong word. Female who does things I don’t want them to do. In the same way that I call guys uhh ... continuing.]]

	I make my way to the media center, gotta print out the physics homework. [[not bad, only three problems. Well technically 10, but some go into each other pretty well]] To cafe two I go. The boys always sit there in the morning. [[The boys? Should I just call them fellas? They won’t read this. No need to worry. Andre V. Alex S. Alex missed a day yesterday, probably because he had a tummy ache or something. Nerd.]] I’ve always been the kind of guy to mess around with my friends. A joke here, teasing there, maybe even some play fighting because I have nothing better to do. Some people take that better than others [[Remember what that girl said. You’re annoying. You have some qualities I can’t dig. Well buddy, hope you learn one day that holding grudges only causes more issues later. Just talk it out. Annoying doesn’t immediately mean people are bad. Also remember. ’’People don’t bully you, Jude. Remember last time when in 7th grade when you punched a girl*? Or even worse, when you told someone in freshman year that they were a coward who deserved to be bullied because they were a bystander, and that you wouldn’t give him pity because he was being a little ’bitch’ about his issues*?’’  She’s right. Dwell on the past or not, don’t bully the kid who fights back. Bullies aim for the vulnerable. Once they are made vulnerable, they run away. I don’t take pride in fighting, but you gotta take your stance and keep in bold.]] It’s all jokes and games until school actually starts, ain’t it.

	I walk into AP Psych. A sub. All that means to me is more writing. A study-guide is handed to me. [[Mr. Lenny, if you want me to work on the study-guide, I kinda need the material for the other half. Guess I’ll leave it blank.] It’s an easy day. Wasn’t sure what to write about until I got the typing out. Then it just all comes right into you. A 15 minute video at the end. About the innocent being convicted and accused of things like murder due to misremembering. [I’m not going to get into politics, but misremembering, really? Putting innocent people in the slammer for years on end, just because someone looked similar. The people pointing figures at the innocent who get figured out, mistake or not, should get punished for ruining someone’s reputation and possibly their life if it’s something like rape that you get accused for.  That’s so fucking bizarre to me.]] I enjoyed it though. I always enjoy a good dilemma every once in a while. All these classes feel boring though this kinda year though. Low energy.

	I walk alone to English. A test today. Should be simple knowing that the book is also the style of which I’m writing. It’s such an amazing book. Some people get really bored reading though. Sucks for them. I get done with 60 multiple choice in 18 minutes. Mr. Garman is of course stunned (Even more so when I got a 91.) [[I just wrote the rest of the period, really nothing to talk about in particular.]]

	Study Hall. Another period of just me thinking. I start with my physics homework. I calculate that a Taco takes 25 Newtons of force. [[Well that is wrong. 25 Newtons is around 5 pounds of force. A taco with definitely be moving with less than 5 pounds of force.]] I forgot to mention. These kids next to be during Study Hall, holy shit. I don’t get annoyed very easily but they just talk and talk and try way too hard to be funny and distracting it’s almost a work of art. They’re the kind of people who go naked in a movie theatre just because it would be ’’too dark to see.’’ Lord help me. At least once second quarter is done I can get some goddamn peace and quiet. [[Although. You did import MP3s to the school computer so you can listen to Mark Battle’s Fortune 2 Mixtape. Good shit.]]

	I’ve always gotten 4th period lunch. It’s not very eventful, or fun, or really anything. [[Don’t fool yourself Jude, you know these people are more reliable than everyone else you have. How comes it’s bros before hoes when the bros can be as much of hoes comparative to the females. Sometimes we divide interest. That’s all. Your interest are different compared to everyone else’s. Except Discord. Love you discord.]]

	AP Gov is a very blank class. Don’t love it, or hate it. I do pretty poorly in it due to how he grades, but I can pick up the heat. Ambrose is a pretty cool dude. At the same time, I’m not much of the scared by teachers type. Congress is boring. [[Boring? What does that classify as? Isn’t the entirety of school boring when you don’t have friends to talk too? Damn. I really got to be working on that whole, friend, thing.]]

	Alg2/Trig, I’ve always been good at math, but this time I messed up. (A quiz was today, and by the time I realized I did something wrong, couldn't go back. Now, boring CAN classify any math class during a test. I don’t see people disagreeing with me. [[Math. I was never born and raised with my mom telling me, Hey Jude! You’re going to have to divide polynomials with long division. I’d say ’’Mom, what the H-E double hockey stick is a poly-nom-al.’’ I never ask for help with math. As long as I get straight Bs and Cs, no questions asked. Imagine applying for a college and then not getting in because your math grade wasn’t high enough. Actually, just imagine college. A system built in the old times to help the wealthy get educated and rule the nobility. When you try to make a system made for the rich to the middle class and even poor, debt is bound to happen. You’re paying things that normally only 5% of the population to pay for. College is painted to be required. When 30 years pass and we have no Janitors, our high-school will smell even worse than it does now. College is so much pressure. Pressure. I do well under pressure too! Now I have to aim for the skies without a plane to land on. I don’t have dreams. Realism is something I’ve been built since a child to acknowledge and respect. Dreams are a solid 25/75. People change paths as much as a normal person changes outfits. The brain runs quite bizarre under boredom, doesn’t it.]]

	Physics, A personal fak* you to physics. Another concept that I don’t quite grasp. I always feel so far yet so close. We do a practice problem, I forgot about one thing, pretty simple problem in practice. Nestoff comes up and he’s like, “This looks terrible.” of course he attempted to fix it. [[I hope you know I’m not as dumb as I look. Sorry for forgetting the friction for wood on wood.]] Nestoff is a bizarre teacher. He’s not great at teaching but he’s got fantastic humor, but it seems like he went into Engineering and it didn’t work out so he went plan B to teaching. It rubs off when he tries to just throw problems on and not work through the problem but show you the work. [[I can’t ask people to hold my hand. I hate when people strangle my hand, but at least give the materials to fix my problems.]]

	Of course. German. German has always been the odd-ball class. Especially when we have our god-damn Christmas unit in December. [[Our German class gets a lot more quiet without them here. It’s a little drained quiet. No Synergy.]] I’m asked to do clicking because yay slideshows and it’s a pretty relaxed day. My thoughts at the end of the school-day tend to be very tame. Nothing too much here to cover aside from the quirkiness of German.

	Ah. The bus ride home. It seems so trivial because people don’t think much of the bus. The bus is the atmosphere to think. You can zone-out into all the terrain you’re passing. [[I wonder if those kids over there are going to make out. I can’t give out names but I know the boy, and he going in, the girl seems A-OK with it too, guh-oh. I wonder what being loved feels like. A reminder of my emptiness, nothing more. A shell can’t become shallow of it was empty to begin with. I’m impressive, really am. I can somehow maintain a vivid aliveness while being dead from the heart out. I guess zombies really are real..]]

	I get home after the bus ride really bothers my stomach because my bus driver takes abrupt stops. I go to my room, [[a nice white from the snow shines in, and the familiar coldness I’m accustomed too.]] So I grabbed my earbuds, put down my phone. And delve back into the world I know best.  A world deep within the mind. Creativity runs free through the veins. Music flows through every bone and there’s only the depths of hell stopping my thoughts. I can’t even put the pen to it. It’s too much to realistically jot down. [[There’s nothing put my heart here. My heart only really comes out at home. It begs, it begs more and more for something. I can’t put my finger on it. It can only be quenched by passion. Something I lack. Passion from others perhaps? My brain works writing out a day because it all repeats itself. Everyday is a routine of depression unless you end up a metal compressor and your heart is nothing but rust. It’s not a cry for help. It’ll never be. I just hope some-day we can all find our inner peace.]]

*Binding of Isaac Rebirth is a game released on Steam and a bunch of other consoles in 2014. It's a dungeon crawler. Fun as hell. That's all I got.

*Back in 7th grade, a 6th grade girl told me to kill myself, I took action and punched her directly in the face getting an after school detention. The kid next to me put his fingernail in my eye. My mom sided with me and I ended up serving (I think) my only after-school detention. This also caused most people not to bully me just out of fear.

*I won't name the person. Rough here for both of us. Kinda forgave each-other? But also proved to all of his friends and people he was close too that I don't fuck around. Ended up with him hating me for the next 2 years until he came to me and after some bad wording, kinda worked it out.

*Fak, I never swear in front of mama.


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PS: You people worry a lot. Trust me, I’ve heard it all. I really appreciate the concern but worrying doesn’t do anything if you don’t act on it. Remember that. Love ya’ll.