1)  Sammie has a hard time being emotionally available for partners at time but often expects a high degree of emotional availability from us; this often leads to us feeling like we are putting in a lot more than we are getting from them and it leads to us feeling neglected
2) Sammie can be very argumentative in her conversational style; it often feels like small things, or things regarding our feelings, get opened up to argument or debate, which often causes discomfort because it feels like we have to go on the defensive when we say things and comes across as lowkey gaslighting (regardless of intent)
3) Sammie has a tendency to adopt a very dominant attitude when it comes to getting things done, while not being receptive to being asked to do something themself, and rather than giving suggestions and building consensus through collaboration and gentle discussion, phrases things as commands, which is stressful and hurtful to us.
4) Sammie has a hard time being emotionally vulnerable and open about their feelings, and when they are visibly or audibly upset this makes it very hard for us to care for and feel connected to them
5) Sammie often gets very defensive when we criticize the above behaviours and attitudes and offer feedback on how to do better; additionally, they have a hard time building, being transparent about, and following through on efforts to do better next time
6) When critiqued on these issues, Sammie has a tendency to make it somehow about Buppy, as if it is Buppy's fault, or Buppy is equally culpable, or just generally implicate em, which feels very bad and makes Buppy feel, in addition to being the person who puts the majority effort into our household, like a scapegoat for Sammie emotionally; Sammie seems to have a hard time admitting their own mistakes and it feels like they offload that to Buppy when convenient