Maybe Now I Won't Need to Use Pastebin Anymore
Bigwood Jul 16th, 2016 74 Never
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- (Put on http://downloads.khinsider.com/game-soundtracks/album/eternal-arcadia-original-soundtrack/2-34-credits.mp3 for atmosphere)
- After the final battle against the Rolants and their destructive creation, and in fact during it, you would all later come to learn that the giant castle appearing out of thin air and the giant robots fighting it were not as hidden as you would once believe them to have been. Not only did nearby cities and people see it, cheering you on as you fought, but nearly the whole continent in some way or another bore witness to Chelsea's destruction and the out-of-control illusion magic making everything look like space. Thus, it was no secret that the war was part of something bigger, and though a few hostilities and plenty of conspiracy theories remained, the two countries were quick to return to peace and send their soldiers home.
- Steyr finally got to do the job she was assigned to, taking Noa and together addressing the people of Acaiah and Sirrolant personally (with the latter in her humanoid form, of course) in order to explain that they were now free of the lie they were living wrought about by the """""Hero""""" Rolant, and attempting to restore peace between the humans and dragons. Of course they sucked at it, but at least a few people here and there didn't go full torch-and-pitchfork trying to eliminate scaly scum anymore.
- When Steyr heard what happened to her best ninja, reports portray her having said, in these exact words: "Yeah, it was going to happen sooner or later." There are no reports of her reaction in private, not even from the other ninja.
- Lilli returned, not with Eileen or Nihi or the other orphans, but to Polis with her partner both in song and in life Sluggo, performing live nightly for the whole country under Queen Lieselotte personally. Their first performance, as soon as they arrived, was for the ceremony celebrating the successful hostile takeover of the rival territory of Ellis and the merging of both countries under a single flag.
- Alice got over her anger within a single day after she realizes Liese was in a much better mood now during their tea parties. She still never learned what was wrong with her jive-speak, as nobody bothered to correct her on it.
- Arche was convinced by her new friend the talking sword that sword journeys were badass and went on a sword journey. What she didn't do was ask the sword what exactly a "sword journey" was and assumed it was "traveling the world while carrying around a sword." Turned out she made a lucky guess because most mercenaries and bandits along the roads severely underestimated an 11-year-old girl wielding a funny-looking sword and she would proc astra on their asses and then take their shit, sometimes redistributing it and sometimes using it to buy candy. Of course her family tried to stop her, but that's exactly why she snuck out in the middle of the night riding a nigger horse. It's okay because she still sends letters home, and somehow hasn't been raped or killed yet. Probably due to the aforementioned talking sword and nigger winghorse.
- Senna stayed true to her word and, almost immediately following the final battle, took to the roads and sought out the location of Eric's hermitude. She found it without much difficulty, as if he intentionally left clues to be discovered, and also true to their promises shared herbal teas cultivated from foreign lands together. Despite their cultural differences and near-complete-strangerhood they made great friends and he saw her as almost a daughter of sorts, quickly getting over being cucked by his talking sword. The only strange part of all this is that instead of Acaiah or even Sirrolant, said hermitude was in the middle of the desert. Eventually they shared the home in order to collectively get over their respective lonelinesses, and cherished one another as family.
- Bob was ready to reveal himself as not being retarded and ask Nell to make muscle Ignis babies after the final battle, but waited too long and was accompanied only by his frustration. Instead of taking a boring way out like killing himself he decided to overwhelm that which ails his mind by better sculpting his body and going on a shirtless muscleman training journey. On his travels, he ran into the Beast from the East, El Alcalde, who was so revitalized by his own battles (and annoyance that he didn't ACTUALLY wrestle very many dragons) that he decided to take up professional wrestling again. The two formed a tag team and, as of the present day, are undefeated.
- Mistel regarded the turn of events solemnly, but was more impressed than anything else that Claire actually did something worthwhile in her life. With no master to return to, and much less need to return to the military life, she decided to give the Claire method a try and quickly discovered, while bar-hopping in various cities in country, that her mysterious and stonefaced nature was considered alluring to both genders, and over the course of a year had gone through plenty boyfriends and girlfriends alike. She still hasn't settled down quite yet, and despite her status as a horrible drunk now being revealed to the world, her combat prowess is still feared and revered worldwide.
- Bjorn and Kyle were both soldiers who didn't get much place on the frontlines, but despite being of different nationalities had more in common than they realized so they became bros and went around doing armor knight shit and being professional guards-for-hire. They would also spar frequently, which would go on to be the only thing Kyle was ever good at because he actually had WTA for once.
- Anna made a RIDICULOUS profit selling information from the details of the final battle alone, enough to cover the loss of some of her best business partners (the Rolants) and then some. And only one of her sisters died during the war, which compared to what it could've been was definitely a win in the long run. She (or perhaps I should say they) returned to the Anna village and distributed more member cards in secret treasure chests along the world that would provide passage into their myriad of secret shops, with business finally booming again.
- But that wasn't good enough for THE Anna who was part of the journey and due to be summoned by N.O. for the final battle; desperate for knowledge, she used the fact of the dimensional rift's existence to study other worlds (with the help of the now-exposed Sirrolantean Underground) and learned that there were other Annas from other universes that were REALLY good at using magic and healing and shit. Since she had no magic talent to speak of, she had a brilliant idea to use items to replicate said abilities and class-changed to an item-spec class that can heal like a boss AND actually damage armor knights sometimes.
- The Shies found themselves gradually solidifying over time, their lost time returned to them alongside their ability to interact with the human world. Most of them decided to return to the Western Isles and attempt to rebuild their kingdom, now fully assured that a dickass dragon won't be buried underground to ruin it for them this time, and had moderate success attracting tourists and immigrants alike. The exception was Shyanna, who instead stayed on the mainland and assisted some of the Annas by hanging around in their secret shops and selling bananas, advertising them as having magical properties. And who knows, maybe she was right?
- Esmé disappeared, without ever revealing why she sent Bartholomew on the journey that led to them running into the others in the first place. Her existence remained an enigma to the end.
- Wiggs and Bedge continued being guards. They got shitfaced drunk every knight too. Get it? Every knight? No, I hope you weren't actually expecting anything because that's it.
- Brian and Raquel both realized, of all things, they liked axes and hitting people with axes a lot, so they tried their hand at the whole Robin Hood thing despite the former being extremely reluctant to return to banditry. As they did so, they were discovered by a certain organization that was slowly gaining power in the background and requested their help because their goals intertwined...
- Jones hit on Spinel something fierce, like he hits on everybody, and it lasted longer than usual because she was the first to respond with "COOL, A TALKING ZOMBIE!" rather than screaming and running away. It didn't last long, however, because within a day they broke into an argument regarding his inability/reluctance to use weapons while she lived and breathed weapons. That habit of hers at LEAST led to her jealousy of Kiuru leading her to create the 'Drakewink,' a weapon exactly like Drakewing in every way except for the """minor""" flaw that sometimes when throwing it its head flies wildly off the handle and the wielder has to go retrieve it. Can't always be perfect, right?
- Sapphire and Citrine returned to mercenaryhood, dragging the craftknight Spinel with them as she continued to make weapons. Eventually, Spins decided it'd be a great idea to also parade for legalizing gay marriage while they made their rounds, while the others were so tired of trying to stop her that they just let it happen. No success to speak of just yet, but that's not to say anything of what the future may hold...
- Foney went on a journey to scare as many people of the world as he possibly could, in as many ways as he was able. In some ways, one could say he was the most successful at his goal than anybody else that was part of the group, even more than Anna, as his likeness became so wildly popular as an icon of horror that he opened a chain of haunted houses in his name and makes occasional appearances in each of them to this day.
- Brent and Ariel fucked like rabbits because the former realized his stuffy attitude was in part due to repressed sexual tension brought about by women not being romantically interested in him with him being such a "nice guy" and all. Ariel actually didn't care about his attitude and just wanted a pretty dude who had money, which was exactly what she got, and her horse didn't give a fuck either so they were married within a month. With no war to occupy either of them anymore, they lived a surprisingly happy life.
- I can't believe how much better at this I am than the ACTUAL fire emblem writers. IF hire me please.
- Marah decided to hang out with Iiki and Nix, as they journeyed around still discovering ancient ruins as there was no need for somebody of Nix' job in the Acaian palace anymore, at least not right now. ESPECIALLY since Vena was so good at her job that he immediately recommended her for his position and fucked off to do the aforementioned. However, the government's having trouble locating her in order to tell her about it...
- Tielle resigned herself to the life of a housewife, which is surprisingly common for broken-ass female characters in this series (and genre in general), but considering whose wife she was she would follow her husband in any of his many sword journeys, aided by her almost-sentient weapon which always seemed pleased with assisting one whose love had been realized.
- The other NSes, now that they were all together, were able to gradually be re-solidified by Sylvera's power and get a chance at living a normal life (or at least as normal as most dragons') with no need to use their giant robot powers anymore. Ionah, of all things, decided to pick up singing and be a traveling minstrel (what's the name for female minstrels? that's not troubadour, is it? is that actually how that works?) which didn't completely fail, and any muggers/rapists who were like "SWEET A FREE LOLI" instantly realized why one should not mess with either a dragon OR a crit-specced light magic wielder. Noa, as mentioned earlier, traveled around trying to explain that not all dragons are dicks, to varying success. Erst hung around in cafés admiring young couples and occasionally giving romantic advice to them; he never had any reason to fight again. Gilius discovered how much mightier than the sword the pen truly was, and became a writer, filling out memoirs not just of the war of the journey but of things nobody else could possibly put on paper, such as what it's like to be a giant robot buried underground for 600 years. As for Sylvera, that's its own story entirely, to be explored in due time.
- Much like his player, Sabo disappeared to be a normie. By which I mean he joined a theater troupe playing as various werewolf roles, which caused crowds to go wild. In fact, his popularity got so out of control that it contested Foney's own recent business, and the two have a Werewolf vs. Skeleton duel to commence at the start of the next year.
- Aron's old buddy, Colin, heard what happened and smashed a wall in anger. And then another. And then another. It is said that 90% of the buildings with ruined walls in the world are all the fault of one man, who is still at large.
- Victor, despite being a human, ACTUALLY traveled along with Marah, Iiki, and Nix discovering ancient ruins and the creatures within. They became a regular ruin-exploring team so renowned that they'll probably get their own spinoff.
- Charles became a farmer. Yeah, you heard me. All his edge seemed to have dissipated following the re-death of his sister and the end of the final battle, so he took up farm work while his brother and sister(s)-in-law settled down and was shockingly satisfied doing so, especially since it was as rigorous an activity as his weapon training and kept him in peak physical condition.
- Clara's egg hatched as soon as she returned home. Because of the way monster eggs work, she is now the proud mother of quintuplets.
- Norn, having lost literally everybody important to her in a single day, disappeared. Unbeknownst to most, she still had her children - triplets - but never smiled again, referred to by many locals of the small village she returned to in order to raise her kids as "The Queen oF Despair." She officially retired from military duty as well, but her combat abilities never dulled. Rumors with some truth in them spread amongst the town that one time, when a bandit broke into her house and threatened her children, his remains were hung in the middle of town, gorily impaled by a lance, for all to see, eyeball hanging from the tip of the weapon and all, with even her daughters not being spared the sight.
- Gaul explained to Kriße the circumstances of how his daughter went missing and why she was given a German-sounding name, which involved a lot of dickass wizards with memory-wiping powers (which may or may not have been Rolants at the time) and how he didn't discover it until long after he disappeared, which was why he was pretending to aid the Rolants among the ranks of the God-Generals until he could get his revenge. Of course he never got the chance because the other Rolants did it for him, but he was still happier than he expected to be, and requested that the young girl live with him once more as father and daughter.
- Mina and Michelle remained Kriße's friends, but the former's case was not unlike Gaul, as her father was one of the Rolants and the cause of her Branded blood, not to mention the entire reason why she was a God-General in the first place. With the God-Generals now disbanded, her whereabouts are the most sporadic, and she more-or-less just hangs around doing whatever. She's still a LITTLE bit insane, but not to P(i)eri levels or anything, so she ended up doing more justice than evil.
- Speaking of justice, Aryll decided to accept the promotion Noel offered her, in order to honor the memory of her former commander. She wasn't as ready as she thought she was but still tried her hardest, becoming beloved amongst the trainees (Some of whom would send her love letters or even openly confess to her, to which she'd say "Sorry, girls- I'm taken."). Of course she wouldn't do so away from her beloved hubby, even if her sisters did fuck off to do their own thing, so at the very least she'd ask him to move down to the frozen hellscape with her.
- Michelle still had money and Kotta's father was overwhelmingly proud of him for actually getting a girlfriend with all the shekels. Not that he or his town were poor themselves or anything, but it's always a SWEET catch to end up with a noble girl instead of a farm chick or something. Of course, she was still happier fighting than sitting around being rich, so she opted to be a mercenary and continued to hide her noble status, obviously asking Kotta to join her. But every now and then she'd still put on fancy clothes and jewelry just for the sake of dressing up...
- Eileen didn't return to being a maid, nor to dressup shit at all. She actually followed Lucas in everything he did, supporting him all the way. Ha, you thought Wiggs & Bedge were going to be the most boring entry in this list? THINK AGAIN.
- Nihi continued to be a dragon. What else was she going to do? Now aware of Brenda's name, she still had no reason to leave the aforementioned's side, and would accompany her to her fateful duel with Megid and then some. That didn't stop her from writing stories of her own interpretation of the journey, complete with cuckoldry fanfiction everywhere. She never got over her autism, and thus had no idea what was wrong with her newfound NTR obsession, even when told.
- Hit me up if I missed anything, because this is only a prelude of what's to come when I do this again for the ACTUAL ending.
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