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Nov 17th, 2019
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  1. Your Quick Guide to Privatising the Police Uber Style,
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  4. 1) The government would recruit 500,000 new police officers.
  5. 2) The current policing structure would be abandoned with the system of local constabularies and county police forces scrapped.
  6. 3) Each police officers will act as a free agent expected to act with independent agency in single-manned teams.
  7. 4) Each police officer would be assigned a Lamborgini Aventador to use for police business.
  8. 5) The maintenance costs and running costs of the above would be met by Her Majesties Government, the police cannot use it for personal business.
  9. 6) Each police officer would have the following powers:
  10. a) power to arrest
  11. b) power to physical restrain or use violence and intimidation to force a potential suspect/citizen to comply with orders/investigations
  12. c) the power to handcuff or use straightjackets.
  13. d) the power to stop and search any member of the public
  14. e) Will be issued with a Kalashnikov and a butterfly knife to be carried on duty, and the governments authority to use them with impunity in specific circumstances (subject to review)
  15. 7) Police officers would be required to where bodycams recording their every movement 24/7 regardless of whether they remain on duty or are off duty. Any member of the public arrested, or involved in any contact with a police officer can ask the review body to review that footage for the 7 days prior to and after the incident to check for misconduct or any other issues from the officer. If anything is found the case will be thrown out, the officer discharged from the force and imprisoned.
  16. 8) The officers will not be employed by the government instead acting on a self-employed basis, exempt however from tax and national insurance:
  17. a) they will be paid a per annum some of £85,000 rising in line with inflation
  18. b) officers must leave the job by the age of 40.
  19. c) officers will be regularly tested (every 12 months) for physical fitness and expected to remain in the top 5 percentile of the general population. Failure equals sacking.
  20. d) officers will be regularly tested for advanced driving skills and expected to pass the RoSPA advanced driving test every 12 months.
  21. 9) The Review body would be staffed by a foreign government in order to prevent government interference or pressure and ensure impartiality.
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