Moonspeaks

<Regarding the Mario>

"The plumber appears to be important on some deeper cosmic level.  His very visage looming over those inferior to him who consider themselves his equals.  Even his own flesh and blood cannot hope to live up to his legacy.  Alas, the green will never overtake the RED THE RED THE RED THE RED RED RED RED RED"


<Regarding the Olimar>

"This horrid creature is clad in a primitive mockery of proper Voidwalking gear.  I have no doubt that it has already succumbed to exposure, judging by the scavengers pursuing its every move.  Amusingly, it seems to have adapted a rather bizarre antenna atop its blasphemous mockery of science. Antenna, pluralized as Antennae, are often used to add a little kick to any dish, and are especially good as a garnish.  In addition the little scavengers make for a wonderful wonderful wonderful snack; simply S N A P their heads off and enjoy a crisp blast of flavor.  My favorites are the green ones"


<Regarding the Fox>

"Interestingly, less advanced civilizations lack any real understanding of Voidwalking.  Colloquially they refer to it as 'space travel,' a whimsically misleading name, for all travel is through space.  Some particularly poorly thought out preparations for Voidwalking include the amputation of one's own legs.  Gravitational forces have no effect on internal organs and vital fluids, as has been well documented, so this is little more than a superstitious ritual.  The void does not harm its travelers.  The void only Touches them, much as a mother would touch her children.  Now now, children; allow me to tell you about the Void, and how best to travel through it.  First you must simply remove any breathing apparatuses.  They suggest a lack of bravery and are for- 5, 6, 7, 8..."


<Regarding Void Madness>

"Le-Le-lesser minds are prone to succumbing to a phenomenon known as Void Madness, or S-s-s-s-space madness, in less educated terms.  This often manifests as seeing hallucinations, o-often of oneself.  Though they may seem harmless, they will in fact attempt to destroy the original V-Voidwalker and replace them.  Luckily, as a w-woman of science, I am perfectly immune to this Void Madness. Isn't that right, A-Anaxa...?"


<Regarding the JIVE>

"Often when traveling through the Void, one will encounter detritus, flotsam, jetsam, and other types of junk.  This junk is responsible for 999% of all Voidwalking deaths, as collisions with said junk often leads to a cracked helmet, and thus exposure to the elements.  This particular specimen, however, is decidedly NOT void junk.  This appears to be a dog.  What a nice puppy.  Come here boy!  Come to- day, many scholars have argued that Voidwalking is impossible to survive.  I think they'll find that my exemplary health begs to differrrrrrrrrrr....."


<Regarding the Samus>

"Certain primitive civilizations, in a misguided, naive push for Voidwalking, create hideously bulky suits to permit travel through the elements with little exposure.  However, this extraneous hardware is entirely unnecessary, as only a helmet is required for safe travels through the Void.  Perhaps with some help, I can liberate this Specimen from its unwieldy exoskeleton and show it the freedom that comes with proper Voidwalking gear.  I have seen this subject without said gear equipped, and I am baffled that it would willingly stifle itself with so much excessive, outdated technology.  Perhaps it would behoove me to educate it on more appropriate equipment..."


<Regarding the Doc To>

"The boneless, bulbous one mimics a man of science for its own amusement.  But it is of no consequence.  The important one is the small one.  This unassuming creature is actually an avatar of a universal constant.  One of the only constants of its kind, in fact.  I must have this constant for my own.  I must... take it from the mockery.  No.  I must B E C O M E the constant.  It must be done for the sake of documenting the results."