Seishi - Yesterday at 3:16 PM
am I not allowed to come with you to roulettes anymore?
I had a horrifying experience today by myself
I got on after everyone was already done their shit
honk - Yesterday at 3:16 PM
huh
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:16 PM
and nobody wanted to do anything
except hustler
who I didn'
honk - Yesterday at 3:16 PM
i woke up and finished them then left the house
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:16 PM
t take to ex for some reason
honk - Yesterday at 3:16 PM
lol
I have shit to do
I leave my roulettes for when Daniel is home
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:16 PM
i mean like am I allowed to go with you to roulettes when you actually do them
or are you already full orsomething
honk - Yesterday at 3:17 PM
I mean yeah Daniel or vandes inviye
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:17 PM
assuming I'm actually available
sorry I'm just fucking frustrated right now.
honk - Yesterday at 3:18 PM
i dunno
im playing cards with friends and ribbing deez
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:19 PM
what does that have anything to do with this
honk - Yesterday at 3:19 PM
dunno
dunno why I'm getting prodded at like this either
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:20 PM
because I was frustrated
honk - Yesterday at 3:20 PM
for doing early morning roulettes
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:20 PM
and feeling excluded
honk - Yesterday at 3:20 PM
really a mood dampener
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:20 PM
ya alright I'll just not talk to you about anything because apparently you can never handle me when I might be a bit ticked about something
honk - Yesterday at 3:21 PM
Yeah but it's not like we're doing this to you on purpose.
And also it's so often/you often point fingers at me that I don't know what to say.
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:22 PM
"so often"
I was making an effort to not get annoyed at things like that
for a while
honk - Yesterday at 3:22 PM
Yeah
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:22 PM
i feel like it had been a while
honk - Yesterday at 3:22 PM
I get that but you should look how often you come to me with regular conversation than emotional dumping
I think this is the third or fourth time in the last month alone you've talked to me about this exclusion stuff and again, it's never anything anyone is out to do on purpose
Also you came to me about the Slurms shit just last week as well so idk
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:25 PM
that was something that needed to be fixed, apparently; there was a fundamental misunderstanding where I really had no idea how upset he was. so I talked to him and yeah thanks for letting me know about that.
honk - Yesterday at 3:25 PM
Like
Idk
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:27 PM
going to say something here that will probably come off as being pretty unreasonable, but I really have no good way to word it so I'll just say it
Sometimes the way you talk and dote on other people is frustrating; i feel like yo uact like you want to do shit here and there with everything and then when it comes to me I sort of just...exist
honk - Yesterday at 3:28 PM
I'm cool with listening but I'm not cool with being pointed out or thought of as a piece of shit when I'm literally just doing things whenever
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:28 PM
i'm not going to bring this up again because
I know I am in the wrong with it
and that you do care about me
obviously
honk - Yesterday at 3:28 PM
I wouldn't bother listening if I didn't
I don't have time for things or people I don't give a shit about
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:29 PM
ya
same
honk - Yesterday at 3:30 PM
I do things as they happen, I never have plans
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:30 PM
I'm just going to do what I said last time and sign off next time I Feel like something frustrating is happening regarding this game
and talk/listen o n discord to see if ppl are up to things
honk - Yesterday at 3:34 PM
you can't honestly have expected me to react any other way atm right lol
like I've been stressed enough with having to deal with dude dave and irl shit, i really don't need to be told im leaving people out when i just want to do roulettes with the guy i like when he's home
ugh, i built my discord and community for the opposite of that since i got left out for so long. i really don't think im being unreasonable lol
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:36 PM
i don't really think you're being unreasonable
it just sucks to sign on and then see everyone just finishing shit. it's frustating. I know it's not your fault
and then not really feel like people want you around either
which I know is generally wrong
but I've had that issue for years and years
honk - Yesterday at 3:37 PM
then i dunno why im being singled out as the person who does this to you etc multiple times
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:37 PM
Like I've had people straight up betray me before
so i get hella paranoid
honk - Yesterday at 3:37 PM
i mean same but still lol
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:37 PM
ya i don't really want to make excuses for it but it's happened
honk - Yesterday at 3:39 PM
i only have so many shits to give right now so
sorry if ive been standoffish but i have shit going on as well
from being frustratingly homeless for 3 weeks to having to kick a good friend of mine from the group to rejecting another
whilst keeping this stupid group afloat and trying to look for work/home
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:41 PM
yeah I'm kind of a selfish cunt sometimes and I don't stop to think that other people have their shit to deal with
honk - Yesterday at 3:41 PM
like if you want to do roulettes mine will either be done when Daniel is home or when vandes wants to do them
fuxxo doesn't need or do them
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:41 PM
yeah that's fair. I meant to be around hours earlier than I was today, so
honk - Yesterday at 3:41 PM
maple is the same
i just want to be online and chill(edited)
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:47 PM
i would think that we all do.
honk - Yesterday at 3:47 PM
im good to you and i don't exclude you when im doing stuff so i really don't userstand why this becomes a point of contention every week or two
i dote on fuxxo because he's my oldest internet friend, Daniel is who I adore and vandes is like a weird older brother
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:48 PM
i don't really know either, tbh. I might just be reading too much into things, or trying to see something that's not actually there
honk - Yesterday at 3:48 PM
it's draining and it really sucks
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:48 PM
it's really ahrd to shake the feeling that I'm just...existing...i dunno. i can't explain it very well.
honk - Yesterday at 3:48 PM
like being doubted as a friend is shit but being confronted for it also sucks
idk
im not a counsellor so i don't really have any advice for you that would stick
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:51 PM
daniel and I talked about it on one occasion, and he seemed to indicate that I could go to him if I continued to have some issues and he could perhaps give some advice.
but in the end, if it's really serious then it's something I should seek some higher help with
honk - Yesterday at 3:51 PM
yeah I mean he's serious but he's good to talk to
yeah I dunno
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:51 PM
so I guess we'll see. if it gets worse I'll look into shit further, I promise you that.
but I'm hoping to get things under control with my own willpwoer
and lifestyle changes
they've helped me before
honk - Yesterday at 3:51 PM
ive tried telling you repetitively that again, no one does this to leave you out
Seishi - Yesterday at 3:52 PM
It's jsut a matter of fucking doing it
honk - Yesterday at 3:56 PM
yeah i dunno
Seishi - Yesterday at 4:12 PM
on a lighter note, I joined a friend's a9s farm party and greeded something that was called by someone else. I also had a full inventory and couldn't get the page. lmao today is not my day
then three people left
honk - Yesterday at 4:12 PM
haha i did 6 before bed last night w a friends static
got my aiming belt finally
Seishi - Yesterday at 4:12 PM
both healers at 0dps
noice
that's what I'm going for
and tank belt/accs
honk - Yesterday at 4:14 PM
yeah I needed 2 for belt them got a tank ring
Seishi - Yesterday at 4:14 PM
at least it's just 4 pages for an acc
honk - Yesterday at 4:17 PM
yeah
Seishi - Yesterday at 4:18 PM
strength V materia sure shot up in price :smirk:
from like sub 20k to over 60k
honk - Yesterday at 4:19 PM
but yeah idk sorry if I've upset you but I dunno what to really say
Seishi - Yesterday at 4:19 PM
i'm fine right now, just introspecting on things. i'm sorry I did that again to you when you didn't deserve it at all.
honk - Yesterday at 4:19 PM
im not a therapist and I just don't like being pointed at like im doing something wrong lol
when im not doing anything planned
Seishi - Yesterday at 4:21 PM
yeah I understand.
like you'll listen if I have concerns, but not if I'm going at you over something that you didn't really do
i'll try to bring some more easy breezy chatter from now on, anyway
also I know this was probably implied with how I reacted to it the other day, but I am really glad you finally have a place to live again
honk - Yesterday at 4:24 PM
me too haha