what the fuck

Melanie: you've asked ivee for help before
you've had her help with npc traits and natures
you didn't take initiative for minor npcs to just go and add them
If I want something changed then it gets changed


Mike: After you get upset
and try to figure out who did wrong
I hate being wrong
Because then you get upset at me
Remember with the Grandma Rampardos?


Melanie: I get even more upset when you publicly post a bunch of lies and half-truths


Mike: I did that by myself
look what happened
I was wrong
and then you called me out on the IRC


Melanie: you had ivee help you past that
that's before ivee helped
so it's kind of irrelevant


Mike: Ivee doesn't want to fucking do anything with PMDe anymore


Melanie: I know


Mike: It hurts to talk about Ivee
So much shit could've been avoided and it wasn't


Melanie: like what


Mike: Like
One thing I'm genuinely upset is that you & marl didn't even try to talk to her & ardy and then it's just to leave ivee in the dust
She doesn't want to look at the wiki anymore
it pains her


Melanie: one thing I'm genuinely upset over is the way ardy acted during and after our visit
and how he didn't approach me
and I'm also upset at how you are acting like I did anything wrong here


Mike: Why didn't you try to talk?


Melanie: by not wanting to associate with people who were jerks


Mike: At least??


Melanie: because I have no interest in talking to people who have an unstated issue with me
he's been a jerk for years
I decided I'd had enough


Mike: He actually wants to talk to you
For real


Melanie: I don't like being on the receiving end of his jerk attitude


Mike: now


Melanie: okay? he can talk to me then
I don't want to approach him, I have no desire
and you getting upset at me over my friend choices, when I'm making choices to stay in the healthiest mindset is NOT a good thing for a friend to be doing
if you're my friend


Mike: What about Ivee
is she a friend


Melanie: what about her?
I didn't say or do anything to her
she doesn't approach me, either


Mike: You know the two live together. If something happens it affects the other and that is what happened


Melanie: okay?


Mike: So then ultimately you don't care about Ivee


Melanie: please don't make assumptions
I go as much out of my way to talk to her as she does to talk to me


Mike: She still thinks she was the root problem for everything that happened then. She's afraid to go and talk about it. It's a fault of her, yes, but I think when she pulled away Ardy & Ivee from the wiki you should have noticed something is up yourself


Melanie: I did notice, but it's up to her to approach me


Mike: I see then


Melanie: I'm not responsible if people want to pull away for their own happiness
that's their choice
and I won't stop them from making it


Mike: happiness? She's still hurting


Melanie: how can I know? she hasn't talked to me


Mike: Yes, alright. She has to do it then. Okay


Melanie: yes, that is correct
if she has an issue, I'm not a mind reader
and she must approach me


Mike: When you say that
that you are not a mind reader
the same is true for me
last night you told me to expect things
like
for example
the wiki thing
I'm not perfect. I cannot read minds. I'm human.


Melanie: yes, but you're also being a liar as of late
or excluding truths so you look like a victim
and that is not an okay or acceptable behavior


Mike: I don't know why the topic changed, but okay. Let's talk about that now, then.


Melanie: sure, we can finish your topic
what more is there?


Mike: Nothing more than telling you that you got upset at me for expecting me to precognitively not bother you. When it could have been avoided or minimized by saying to stop for the first time.


Melanie: I said I didn't want to give you the files
and then you brought it up again
last night
you should have known, the first time you asked, that I was in france
and that it was a bother
it doesn't take mind reading to know that


Mike: I brought it up because you said something strange that made me think it was more to it than that, last night.
And when in france
you seemed to have free time at hand


Melanie: there's nothing more to it except I didn't want to it
I'm sure it seemed like that.


Mike: You go on Mumble and shout at me
to shut the fuck up


Melanie: you were talking over everyone nonstop
I could not understand or hear anyone


Mike: Not nonstop. That one single time I finally decided to say one thing.
Once
it took once
to get your anger
and I got hurt


Melanie: I think you're confusing "loudness" with "anger"


Mike: MICHAEL SHUT THE FUCK UP


Melanie: I repeat myself


Mike: I don't think there's any confusion here. You did snap back at me and it hurt


Melanie: I do think there is


Mike: That's why I left the mumbl
e


Melanie: because I wasn't angry
but I am, now, right now


Mike: Well, having fun in France and all while having an amazing job and talking about PMDe freely while in your spare time. I suppose I should have cognitively understood that you'd not have access to the files or didn't want to do it all.


Melanie: "talking about PMDe freely while in your spare time"
do you not know how much I worked to get everything out
and how little I slept each night
no, you don't, or you wouldn't say something like that
which is really obnoxious, rude, and pretty mean
considering how much I busted my ass


Mike: Holy shit
So I'm supposed to figure this out all by myself
how dare I


Melanie: no, you're just supposed to at least think about my position, try to imagine what I'm doing, and what I'm going through
before having diarrhea of the mouth
and saying mean things like that
you're absolutely right mike, instead of talking to vee or marl for an hour or two at the end of my day, I should have went out of my way to bug them for files I didn't really care about
how dare I spend the little free time I had as I wanted


Mike: No
Just don't say anything
and let it bottle up


Melanie: more like, say anything and deal with your passive aggressive bullshit
hmm, I said something bothers me, time to see that mike's made 20 tweets about it
that sure makes ME want to talk


Mike: I stopped doing that shit


Melanie: yeah, instead you make tumblr posts now


Mike: What am I going to fucking do
take it up the ass nonstop
just all this emotional distress
I don't want to fucking leave PMDe
I don't want to fucking even fight


Melanie: yeah, so, instead, you make a tumblr post about leaving, write a bunch of half-truths and lies, and then let people read it and have mistaken ideas about what happened
is it time to address the post yet? I've talked to you about these other things


Mike: What are half truths??
Tell me
what are they


Melanie: " I try to do work, I’m not thanked for it."
this is a lie


Mike: I fucking finally did the work for M8
yesterday
and made note
and said
I did it
nothing was said


Melanie: what do you expect, though? praise? for doing the job you volunteered to do? I thank you generally all the time
I was busy streaming
the entire day
but you do not consider that
you just get upset that I don't give you a cookie for you doing a job you offered to do
and that is really upsetting to me
it's a lie to say you are not thanked
maybe not immediately right after and during me doing something during a busy easy
busy season*
all this month I have a lot to be doing
there's a ton of preparation to make sure the april fool's comes out on time
and to make sure that I get all this sakuracon junk done
and all this other art, all these other commissions
all these other things I also need to do to stay afloat
but you pissed yourself over me not immediately going "thanks mike" right then
when I have 1000 other things I need to do right now


Mike: Not immediately
The whole day
not
ever
once


Melanie: oh, yeah, not immediately, only half a day later


Mike: Yet you're free to talk about all your kecleons


Melanie: when do you thank me for me getting my work done?


Mike: and being adored


Melanie: oh right: I don't expect fucking thanks for something I volunteered to do
are you, of all people, going to fault me for being happy people are into something I'm doing?


Mike: You show it, that when it happens you let yourself go to talk to people
I


Melanie: there is nothing wrong with that


Mike: I hate the fucking silence


Melanie: to fault me for it is really dispicable


Mike: Nothing really happened
between you and me
nothing
You'd rather talk to pengo


Melanie: so join in and talk in the channel then


Mike: or someone else


Melanie: or maybe I'd rather talk to someone who won't make me feel bad for liking things I like
and who won't be passive aggressive
and who will be a friend toward me
and who won't expect things out of me all the time


Mike: Did you think I was expecting something like that???


Melanie: you expect me to talk back all the time, and if I don't, you get depressed or weird or snappy
when I don't feel like talking about things you're talking about
I don't find that fair


Mike: I'll hea everything you say


Melanie: and I don't think I can be faulted for not wanting to talk in a conversation which will lead to you being depressive


Mike: Have I said I don't care to you?


Melanie: that doesn't really factor into this at all, though?
it's not about if you care or not
it's about you guilting me over stupid things
I do not participate in conversations where someone is trying to guilt me, intentionally or otherwise
I will not do it


Mike: What the fuck
What have I done?? Huh??


Melanie: let's start with the most notable one
when you found out I might be moving
aside from that? when I wasn't replying a lot when I was in vegas, because I was answering tumblr questions (though really, the "why" is irrelevant) - you got on my case for not replying to you instantly and frequently about the fetishy convo stuff
and made a bunch of tweets about it, as well


Mike: You wanted to hear


Melanie: and one about how I didn't want to do the thing that made me uncomfortable


Mike: and you sounded fine with it until something happened


Melanie: what does that have to do with anything? you started guilting me


Mike: then immediately
it just
fell to shit


Melanie: yes, when you made tweets annoyed that you felt bad that something made me uncomfortable
that makes me even MORE uncomfortable, and so I won't want to talk


Mike: I hated myself


Melanie: that doesn't really matter about this: it came across as a guilt-tripping conversation
and I wanted no part in it
and then you tried to say more and get annoyed that I wasn't responding
when I was doing other things
things you could clearly see: responding to many asks
it is not really fair of you to ever get annoyed at me for not responding
it makes me not want to talk to you
that's the bottom line


Mike: Why couldn't you simply
just take a pause


Melanie: because I didn't want to


Mike: and fucking
tell me off
Yeah
of course
Be silent


Melanie: I have no interest in fights


Mike: and hope that the other person gets it


Melanie: I have no interest in continuing conversations I do not like
if this is upsetting to you, that can't really be helped


Mike: Asuume the other person will get it
silently
assume*


Melanie: I think it should be obvious that getting upset at someone for not wanting to do something they find uncomfortable..............will make the other person upset
and if you need someone to tell you that
well
then I don't know what to say
you should never put someone in that position
ever
it's a wrong thing to do


Mike: I didn't fucking know until you told me


Melanie: and to get mad at me for not telling you that you pressuring me about something I didn't wawnt to do..
to get mad that I don't tell you every time...
that I'd rather not have a fight...
that I don't want to talk about it...
I don't think you really have a reasonable right to be mad


Mike: Maybe


Melanie: so I can't relate to it


Mike: Maybe
if you said
I don't want to talk about it
I would've stopped


Melanie: yeah, then we can find more tweets you would make


Mike: "I'm not in the mood for this"


Melanie: instead, continue to tell me I said all the wrong things about you pressuring me
that is surely the problem
me, not you


Mike: Your problem is you expect people to fucking figure it out magically and leave you alone


Melanie: I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that if I tell someone "that makes me uncomfortable" and then find out they made angry/upset tweets that I didn't want to talk about the thing that made me uncomfortable, to expect the person will go "oh sorry my bad"
you know, instead of "I can't believe it" and getting angry


Mike: You didn't say that makes me uncomfortable


Melanie: yes, I did
when you asked about the one commission
I said it made me uncomfortable
I know I did
because I told both marl and vee about it immediately afterward


Mike: I didn't see the word uncomfortable about it at all


Melanie: that's a lie though
you even quoted it in your tweet


Mike: Fine let me look it up


Melanie: ok


Sent at 2:20 PM on Thursday
Mike: oh my god
I know what this is
It wasn't about you
I was also talking to Ivee
and she said uncomfortable
so I dropped it


Melanie: that was like 2 minutes after we talked, Mike
in the same exact time
are you really trying to tell me that was actually about someone else
and it was a large coincidence
esp when there was another string of depressed tweets when I didn't reply


Mike: I'm not lying
You never said uncomfortable at first
Then I went to talk to Ivee
I told her a thing about involving Bane and she told me she was uncomfortable with that
Because she didn't like PMDe as a whole anymore
I am
seriously not lying
But you won't believe me
In the end it amounts to me
I shouldn't have ever tweeted anything at all


Sent at 2:28 PM on Thursday
Melanie: I did find it
i looked in my logs
"im not sure i would feel comfortable drawing that"
so I did say that
so, what, do you expect me to believe the rest of the tweets also weren't about me?
the ones that happened when I was not replying?


Mike: Fine. So I did forget about being told earlier.


Melanie: "shes not replying" etc
"I fucking knew it" whatever else garbage you said


Mike: That was about you
yes
The uncomfortable one, for the love of god, wasn't about you. But it doesn't matter
I'm guilty
regardless


Melanie: also what the hell is this
Michael Wiggins ‏@kuiperfrog 57m

<Marl> I have removed you from any position of authority and responsibility over PMD-E, you no longer have any influence in how it is ran...


Mike: That was my awful mistake that I realized
I didn't mean to tweet that
It didn't even delete
did it?


Melanie: well I just now found it?


Mike: It's gone
it must've been in y our cache


Melanie: uh
this is the first time i've loaded your twitter in weeks
regardless
let's address the second wrong thing
I try to help out things on the Wiki when I needed PK’s assistance, she gets upset at me and tells me that I bothered her for stupid reasons.
we've already pretty thoroughly discussed why you didn't need my help
I think this is an utterly shitty thing to have stuck on your blog
considering the dozens of times I help fill out wiki stuff


Mike: Well


Melanie: leaving out the fact that I've been busy and stressed


Mike: When you suddenly decided not to assist me


Melanie: and you wanted minor non-essential stuff filled out


Mike: until you finally
finally
tell me
By getting


Melanie: you need to stop acting like I have a hidden agenda to never tell you things


Mike: upset
It's not an agenda


Melanie: you need to stop acting like I go out of my way to not tell you things
it's really starting to piss me off
it's REALLY starting to make me mad how you twist everything into "you never tell me anything, how can I possibly know these really awful things I'm doing are awful if you don't tell me"
not even about this petty stuff
but in general
when I'm not always sitting here thinking "boy mike pisses me off"
it's more like "well that's kind of annoying" and then I do something else
and it doesn't bother me enough to even bring it up really
I absolutely loathe how you turn everything into I'm A Victim
I tell you things as they bother me
not a moment sooner
if I'm only a little bothered "I wish he'd stop" and then the problem goes away
I'm not going to turn it into a problem
I have other things on my mind than monitoring how you act toward me 24/7
I could not fucking believe that you got mad at me in, what, back when you tried to guilt me over france?
when you tried to turn it into
"you didn't tell me"
"why didn't you tell me the moment you were upset"
that's extremely unrealistic
that is not a fair way to approach people at all


Mike: I wasn't mad at first
I was only mad when you came home


Melanie: people don't just magically have a meter that fills to the top "time to tell mike"


Mike: and didn't want to do it


Melanie: yeah, and that's still not reasonable to be mad at
it's absurd
if I don't want to do something, that's my choice
I won't want to talk to you if you keep pressing
I don't need to invent reasons why either
or explain myself
I didn't feel like it
you kept pressing me
and then you "find out" the reasons why it bothers me
and then go WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
because: it didn't matter
I didn't feel like doing it
I didn't see a problem
there was no problem until you kept pressuring me
and then wow you find out the reason because you won't leave it alone
and it's not a big deal, or wasn't, but then you make it one
and wow, now you have a reason to get mad at ME!
because I was ~hiding~ this from you
when the reality is: I didn't feel like doing it


Mike: You said
I'm tired of all this maplemania


Melanie: yes


Mike: what was I supposed to infer from it


Melanie: nothing
except what I said
that's it
stop trying to read into my words


Mike: I thought you were tired of me having a crush on maple
like it was
uncomfortable to you


Melanie: yeah because you kept inferring stuff that's not there
you keep dragging things, meanings, out of me that do not exist
and then getting mad at me over them
I'm really tired of it
it makes me want nothing to do with you
let's talk about the next bulletpoint
Marl just talks shit about me behind my back in a channel of his own.


Mike: That is a true thing


Melanie: more like, marl is telling the story of kairi, his opinion you already know, away from your eyes so you won't start crying
that's very different from talking behind your back
and very different from talking shit


Mike: From what I was told, he was saying particularly rude things


Melanie: it's really awful that you-
no
so you go by hearsay?
and make this journal, based on hearsay?
really?
is that what this has come down to?


Mike: Come
on


Melanie: I am being 100% fucking serious


Mike: Do you think I'm going to gladfully take this


Melanie: take what?
tell me what was said


Mike: I thought this shit was dropped


Melanie: tell me what shit was said, what things you didn't know


Mike: The kairi thing


Melanie: no, it's not dropped
if it comes up, we will talk about it and why it annoyed us
that's part of taking responsibility for it
you cannot apologize and expect it to go away
is that how you think it works?


Mike: the one mistake
that Mike does
that leads to marl & pk
making fun of him
in public IRC
like school bullies


Melanie: this is not about that: this is about marl talking about why it annoyed him
the bulletpoint
we are talking about the thing you wrote on tumblr


Mike: "He was talking about how he didn't like characters being fetish fuel and was smack talking you a lot. I don't think he was being fair, so I called him out on Merlot"


Melanie: what shit did marl talk? is it behind your back if you know exactly what he thinks?


Mike: End
quote


Melanie: that's not quoting marl
who said that?
furthermore, "called him out on merlot" what?


Mike: That person did


Melanie: so: clearly this person doesn't know anything
and I know it was sundance


Mike: Yes
It was Sundance


Melanie: who was wrong before about a lot of things
you seriously just believed that?
instead of seeing exactly what was said
you went off of hearsay?
are you kidding?


Mike: Fine
Keep talking shit about what I did wrong
pour more salt on the wound


Melanie: yes, this is me calling you out on the journal, but calmly
because you lied in it


Mike: Not the journal


Melanie: and typed wrong things that made the group and us look bad


Mike: the fucking
kairi thing


Melanie: we're allowed to vent about things that annoy us
even in the past
even if a person apologized
just because it upsets you that you made a mistake doesn't mean we're suddenly not allowed to talk about it
do you think I did not learn this? after my mistake with marl?


Mike: what


Melanie: so don't fucking cry about it
go "yeah that was dumb" and move on


Mike: no


Melanie: stop trying to stifle people


Mike: What?


Melanie: what do you mean what? stop being vague


Mike: The marl thing
what


Melanie: I guess I never told you then
nevermind


Mike: See


Melanie: see what
I've made my own fucking mistakes and I own up to them
you go "sorry" and then cry about it when people talk about it again
even if it has nothing to do with you, but is a tale of caution to others
or simply venting annoyance


Mike: But you don't like to talk about it either
if it's about you


Melanie: of course not, but I'm not going to go YOU GUYS ARE BULLYING ME
or YOU GUYS ARE TALKING SHIT
BEHIND MY BACK


Mike: IT'S STILL
THE SAME THING
HE WANTED TO TALK SHIT ABOUT IT


Melanie: no, he didn't
he wanted to talk about why it annoyed him to people who were curious
which is far from talking shit behind your back
and he did it elsewhere specifically so you wouldn't have to see it talked about


Mike: Okay. Fine. Justify Marl doing that
That's
a-ok


Melanie: I'm explaining why he did it
I see nothing wrong with it


Mike: because it doesn't hurt you


Melanie: you're an ignorant fool if you think I haven't endured people talking about things I did which were stupid in the public eye


Mike: Yes I know. And yes then you'll lead up with "then why'd you make that tumblr post"


Melanie: let's go over this one, the biggest fattest lie of all
I’ve been ordered to not write anything in regards to my characters and the PMDe canonity. Yes, even Mike. I’m not allowed to write for Mike now.
what the fuck is this


Mike: COme on
You know you said it
I logged it


Melanie: no, you tell me what the fuck this is


Mike: I can't write for Mike


Melanie: if you cannot seriously tell me why you lied there
and why I would be mad
you're fired from PMD-e
what you said there was wrong


Mike: Fine. I'm wrong because lately we finally got somewhere


Melanie: that is correct
and?
tell me, when did you last write for mike?
was it before or after I told you you couldn't write?


Mike: After
but then you said again
in the chat
To other people
I wrote the letter
then you said that


Melanie: yes: because I am writing the whole overall story


Mike: Okay
I'll say this then
Earlier when that happened
I heard that what you were doing was wrong
but I kept blaming myself


Melanie: wrong, from who?


Mike: Various people


Melanie: furthermore: what you did was suggest a lot of bad ideas, and then back off when I said they didn't make sense
instead of actually trying to make them make sense, or make new ideas that made sense
you got so selfishly absorbed in your own world
of course I don't want garbage from your selfish fantasy world in my story
why would I?
you did not even make an effort to approach me about: how can I help, then?


Mike: No
But I am now going to say this


Melanie: and just to hear "she is wrong" from a lot of people who don't know the story
of course they'll say that


Mike: I thought I was int he wrong and I should stay shut about it
but you continue to just
indulge yourself
and I found it very hypocritical


Melanie: if it's anything like what you just made in this tumblr post, then of course people will believe you
you look like a victim in the post
and you've left out truths
or lied entirely
indulge myself, ha ha


Mike: Yes


Melanie: tell me: how?


Mike: You want more kecleons
so Event 8 is changed to that


Melanie: of course I do: they formed tao
event 8 is changed to that because it makes sense
and it's a cool idea


Mike: Because you wrote it like that
You and marl


Melanie: there is nothing wrong with doing cool ideas I like


Mike: Of course not


Melanie: but I can draw the line between self insertion fantasy and cool story
you cannot


Mike: but it's not cool when people get left out


Melanie: it's not cool when people make themselves left out because they refuse to leave Fantasy Land
and then get mad at others for it


Mike: Fine
more and more it's starting to beclome believable that it's ruled by you & marl
just you & marl


Melanie: I'm sure it seems that way if you get mad every time we don't make Opal or PK pregnant, or make Mike Loire's last kid
or make Mike depressed after not being around his gf for one week, and then becoming near-suicidal when she leaves him


Mike: I hate that shit because you at first liked it
and then bam
it's awful as shit


Melanie: you're really pressuring


Mike: and you burn me hardcore for it


Melanie: and no I never liked the Opal thing and I said that 3 times
you asked many different ways


Mike: Not the Opal thing
the PK thing
and then Loire thing


Melanie: the PK thing was an interesting idea but it couldn't work, and I didn't feel like it
and the Loire thing was too self-insertion in the end
the base idea is fine, with her making dragons, like Psomi made porygon
but your narrow tunnel vision is really a drag
every time things get changed from how they originally were
there's always an issue
where you tie your self worth to your idea
and it's really, really tiring


Mike: Fine
But what happens when someone dislikes your PK
or Anana


Melanie: people do that all the time


Mike: Really?
Where


Melanie: are you kidding i see people in the chat and in journasl go
"I dont really like anan"
"I dont really like PK"
btu that doesn't really matter, haha? because I tell the story how I feel like it
and that's fine with me
the thing is
there's a difference between not liking and poorly written
and I am trying to save mike from being a poorly written character


Mike: ok then


Melanie: btw marl's the one who came up with the e8 idea :)
not me


Mike: Because he simply wanted to please you


Melanie: oh my god
are you kidding me
like, are you new???????
have you ever talked to marl or seen him talk, at all??????????????
you honestly think he fucking makes idea to **please me**???
or are you just saying that so you won't look wrong?


Mike: You love the shit
so it works


Melanie: yes: it's a good idea he made, but that doesn't mean it's mutually exclusive from me loving the idea


Mike: It's fantastic because
it's kecleons
it's what you want


Melanie: congratulations! the idea was thought of without him thinking of things I wanted
and I happen to love it too
because it works
do you not fucking remember how sad I was when I was like
"sigh, I can't use these characters"
"they don't fit in"
"I can't just throw them in artificially"
"I'd need an actual good storyline reason"
do you seriously forget that? do you think I don't try hard to make the story cool?
and to make everything fit into the story?
that I will forego something I really want if it doesn't fit?
that's part of abandoning self-insertion crap
I know it doesn't work that way for YOU
but it does for me


Mike: Of course


Melanie: if I also get something I love in the story, it's because I thought of a way to make it work
or marl did


Mike: there's nothing I can ever do


Melanie: or whatever
yeah there isn't if you give up early


Mike: i'm tired
So much happens for PK
when I want to do something for Mike
I have to do it by myself
and then it's terrible


Melanie: you don't have to do it by yourself
there are people who are willing to talk about ideas


Mike: no one cares about fucking mike


Melanie: but you need to not already have the idea close to your heart


Mike: All they care about is callahan
or devonshire
or PK
or rhodes
or shroomsworth


Melanie: the greatest thing about e8 is that every team can do a cool fun thing
for themselves
I don't understand why you don't like
take advantage of that too
and stop taking it so personally


Mike: HOW CAN I
You want cute PK & Rhodes interaction
it happens
as well as Shroomsworth
it happens
YOU KNOW


Melanie: because I make it happen???????


Mike: that thign with the fucking
path choice
I hated that
so
so
so
much


Melanie: you need to stop taking this shit personally


Mike: Come on man
You know it
Boy I hope PK ends uip with Shroomsworth again


Melanie: okay?


Mike: See?


Melanie: what?


Mike: That is taking it personally too


Melanie: what the fuck does that have to do with
no it's not o_O


Mike: You want your character with Shroomsworth


Melanie: so what? either way it worked storywise
I don't get all upset and pissy if things don't turn out exactly the coolest for PK
I take it as a chance to develop her some other way
and him, too
you just take it like a brick wall
and moan and piss yourself


Sent at 3:35 PM on Thursday
Mike: I'm tired
of being in the shadows
I don't talk much in the channel because I'm in Marl's shadow all the time
people love his work
they love him
everything
and he laveshes in it
or however you fucking spell it
I tried
to do that
myself
we all know how that worked out
so I fucking give up
and cry to myself
But you'll just say
don't take it personally


Melanie: clearly you can't do it yourself
you don't even understand the difference between pk and shroomsworth's relationship and mike/opal's
which is probabyl why you don't have a girlfriend in reality
I was in awe when you compared the two
and were totally serious
and I'm not trying to be mean, either
I honestly do not understand how you did not see the difference


Mike: I hate everything about Opal now


Melanie: it baffles my mind


Mike: just
leave
me
alone about it
I give up


Melanie: you won't even try to understand


Mike: I understand
It was a bad thing


Melanie: you say that, but you don't
you lump things into good/bad


Mike: it wasn't really a real relationship
She was a fuck buddy


Melanie: real things aren't so easily defined


Mike: there


Melanie: you act like i personally slighted you for being happy PK and shroom got together
and not the PK/mike path
which I was fine to write, but i would have been sad over


Mike: That was


Melanie: it's really really just mind boggling


Mike: a fucking set up


Melanie: no, it wasn't
and you need to stop acting like it was


Mike: Eventually I realized
That it would be awful


Melanie: who knows what it would have been


Mike: You sure as hell just said it


Melanie: I already wrote a bunch of really good mike/pk interaction in the past, like a week ago


Mike: you would've been sad


Melanie: no, I didn't
you need to stop fucking assuming and reading into my words
it is making me extremely angry
I do not like words being put in my mouth
at all


Mike: which I was fine to write, but i would have been sad over
Quote


Melanie: yep - where did I say "that it would be awful"?
hm?
can you quote me?


Mike: I said sad


Melanie: no, you can't


Mike: Of course you wouldn't like it
but you would have to do it


Melanie: you're making me raelly angry
you need to stop assuming other things
or this conversation will be over
of course I would have been sad if, like I said, PK wouldn't have gotten the thing I wanted most
do not try and act like that's a crime
that does not at all mean the other path would not have been interesting
it makes me angry that you assume it does
that I can only find one thing cool at a time
similarly, if later, anana becomes irredeemable, of course I will fucking be sad
but I will go whatever path happens
because they're all interesting
because I really like writing these characters
all of them
and somehow you lose sight of that
or forget it


Mike: I just wish the path choice that involved mike & pk didn't exist at all
that's all


Melanie: I don't know why


Mike: You kept banking on the shroomsworth path so much
a lot and a lot


Melanie: are you kidding????????????????????


Mike: over the stream


Melanie: I wanted him to go and be with anana
that is the true path I wanted
that is the path I was most interested in trying to write
this shows how little you pay attention
and how skewed your perspective is
you pay attention to only bad things


Sent at 3:48 PM on Thursday
Mike: Ok
I am wrong
in many things
Like the tumblr post, for the most part
but
I still feel like you yourself are wrong in certain things too


Melanie: I feel like you have absolutely no empathy
and cannot at all imagine things I go through


Mike: I try to keep shit to myself
So much
Because you don't want to
hear it
I gave up tweeting
as much as possible


Melanie: you need to not be a passive aggressive douchebag
say things directly


Mike: You


Melanie: don't imply garbage from the shadows


Mike: need to tell me things too
directly


Melanie: I fucking do
we already were over this
I talk about things as I process them, as they annoy me
not a moment sooner
I said this earlier


Mike: Then why did that whole thing when you were france happened?
That wasn't direct
That is not direct at all


Melanie: what?
what are you talking about?


Mike: You didn't tell me when you were in France


Melanie: tell you what?


Mike: until you got really upset


Melanie: I just explained that


Mike: Yes


Melanie: I literally just explained that
Melanie: I fucking do
we already were over this
I talk about things as I process them, as they annoy me
not a moment sooner
I said this earlier


Mike: That can be done earlier
when it's happening
not later


Melanie: no it cannot
that is not how I work


Mike: Yes you can. You just do not want to.


Melanie: we're done
im done with this convo


Mike: You just bottle it up.


Melanie: do you want to be blocked? continue to call me a liar some more
i know how i work
i will remove you from everything if you continue to insist something that is not true
remember when you got pissy over france?
it took 2 days for me to process how angry i was at you
in those 2 days I was mostly sad
and then I was angry
and then you accused me of not talking to you immediately
and of bottling it up
when that is NOT HOW IT WORKS FOR ME
and I approached you the MOMENT I WAS MAD OVER IT
and the MOMENT I FELT LIKE REALLY TALKING
and if you EVER insinuate I do anything else again
I will stop talking to you


Sent at 4:26 PM on Thursday
Mike: I have flaws. I know I do. You get upset over them. But I try to fix them as I try.
But... in the same sense, you too have some flaws.
I try so hard
to bear it
You are so rough at times
and you say you weren't
and then when I make myself upset
From it
I tell myself there must be something wrong with me
But I've come to a breaking point


Melanie: you need to get help for your issues
there is nothing wrong with me here
I have no problems with anyone else


Mike: Are you
serious


Melanie: yes, I am


Mike: I cannot agree with that.


Melanie: then ok
I've told you what I can
until you get some help, I'm sorry, but you can't be a part of the pmd-e admin right now
you need to get some help for your depression etc


Mike: I know I have problems that are strikingly visible. But you too. Don't write yourself off so easily


Melanie: ok, but this isnt about me?


Mike: What?
Come on
Sometimes you act so coldly that it's ridiculous.


Melanie: I'd like that you get some help, mike


Mike: Eevee did something incredibly at pycon. And I mentioned it to you. All you go was "ok"
you didn't care about him>?
Or were you too busy?
I know you are busy
but I believe you sometimes like to use that as an escape mechanism


Melanie: you're right, I must not be too busy if I've taken these 5 hours to do nothing but talk to you in an attempt to try to understand why you're fucking nuts lately


Mike: Why are you so rough???


Melanie: what's the purpose of this convo now?


Mike: You


Melanie: you don't agree with me, I don't agree with you
it seems like it should be at an end
I want you to start seeking help before you can help again


Mike: Don't do this. That you think you can get away without thinking there's nothing wrong with you too.


Melanie: mike, this is about you needing to get help
please see that


Mike: I will
fucking
get help
but you won't listen to me now
you just fucking won't
It felt like you didn't want to in the fucking first place
You wanted to get it over with
I was so fucking scared
And it's coming close to the realization
Stop fucking
pushing yourself
so fucking hard
so fucking much
It's starting to affect you
and others around you
I tried to think it was okay to assume you can be the strongest woman I can ever imagine
24/7
But that was
fucking wrong of me
to fucking
think that


Melanie: I don't understand what you are going on about


Mike: It's terrible to fucking think about
You have feelings
you have
everything
but you keep swallowing it
and going on
by working ridiculously hard
oh myg od
I'm so fucking sorry I even ever spoke to you when you were at France
I was lonely and I saw you freely speaking to other people
so I thought I could do something but I couldn't and now I know
you were
up to the wall
constantly
Even if it's something you enjoy you work way too hard and then expect people to assist you or get out of the way
Sometimes it rears it's ugly head. All that trapped stress
by random sparks
of anger
You cannot fucking
do everything all the time ever
You don't want to admit it
that your stress is at its highest
there's no escape
its do or die


Melanie: I have no idea what you are talking about


Mike: I'm SAYING
that
you work way too hard and it's affecting your means of communicating with people
And your general well being too
You seem happy
but you're upset
alot


Melanie: but I've been pretty happy for a good while now


Mike: No way


Melanie: this is the only thing that has made me unhappy in quite some time
um, yes
you are literally the only person i have had an issue with in a good long while


Mike: I'm worried about you
France is cool
and a real job


Melanie: don't be


Mike: but you're fucking scared as shit
no way
You can't fucking tell me not to worry


Melanie: okay well I can tell you I've been fine for a good while


Mike: I worry all the fucking time just this one time I fucked up hardcore
Come on
that's not real


Melanie: what?
I think you need to take a break
I am 100% honest and truthful in my words


Mike: I will not unless you take a break too


Melanie: sorry, but my break time for today has been absorbed by this stupid conversation
I need to start on some work


Sent at 4:56 PM on Thursday
Mike: I don't care about other people
I don;t care about chiffy
or chibisaur
or ted
or other people
I just
I just want to be with you and have fun with you
I don't want to fucking
abandon
shit
I don't want to fucking go away
I don't want to fucking believe that you have a problem
I kept not listening
but it keeps showing up


Melanie: what?
what keeps showing u
up*


Mike: You!!
You keep saying it
denying
that there's nothing wrong
but people get upset
at you


Melanie: so far, you're the one getting upset at me