Luna Greentexts: Insomnia

Feb 4th, 2015
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  1. >Luna looked at you with her large, baggy eyes.
  2. >"I've tried the traditional tricks. The warm milk, counting sheep, even just closing my eyes and lying in bed for pony's sake!"
  3. "Have you tried visiting a doctor?"
  4. >"Yes. I've been prescribed many medications, but they do nothing."
  5. >Her tone became louder.
  6. >"Why? Why did this suddenly occur!? All I want is sleep, but it alludes me! How am I to explore the realm of dreams when I cannot enter my own!?"
  7. "Luna, calm down."
  8. >"Calm down!? You're not the one cursed with insomnia!"
  9. "But getting worked up about it will make it worse."
  10. >She gritted her teeth, then looked away with a huff.
  11. >"It bothers me to no end. I haven't slept for an entire week. I've been experiencing nonstop headaches, cramps, dizziness, loss of strength, and even hallucinations!"
  12. >It was like listening to an ad about some drug and its side effects.
  13. "And we'll get you to sleep, Luna. Just calm down and let me think of something."
  14. >"You'd best be quick, Anonymous. I don't know how much more of this I can take."
  15. >She lied on her bed and waited for you to come up with something.
  16. >This might not be easy.
  18. "Okay princess, I've got a couple ideas in mind for helping you get to sleep."
  19. >"Please, do tell. I'm dying to hear it."
  20. >Her snarkiness was turned up to eleven, it seemed.
  21. >Must be the lack of sleep.
  22. "Ignoring your attitude." You bring out a small walkman and some ear buds. "I wanted to begin with something really simple. All I want you to do is listen to some relaxing sounds and see if it helps."
  23. >The moon pony scoffed.
  24. >"I doubt it."
  25. >Nonetheless, she takes the walkman into her magical grip and puts in the ear buds.
  26. >You hit the play button for her, her ears now embracing the sweet sounds of the ocean.
  27. >She lies down in her bed, hooves crossed, an annoyed expression on her face.
  28. >Wait for a few minutes; maybe something will happen.
  29. >The two of you sit silently, one of you still bombarded by relaxing ocean sounds.
  30. >Minutes pass, and nothing changes.
  31. >She still lies there, the same expression on her face.
  32. >The ear buds come out via magic, and she deadpans at you.
  33. >"Did you really think that would do anything?"
  34. >She shakes her head, but waits for the next suggestion.
  35. >Her attitude was definitely from her lack of sleep.
  36. >You sigh, and go back to the drawing board.
  38. "How about this?" you ask Luna, holding up a story book.
  39. >She again deadpans.
  40. >"You're not serious, are you?"
  41. "No harm in trying, is there?"
  42. >Her hoof hits her face.
  43. >"I feel like a foal."
  44. >Brushing off the moonhorse's complaints, you prop up a stool next to the bed and begin to read.
  45. "Now, this is the story of Sleepy Filly, and her troubles staying awake."
  46. >"Symbolic, truly," Luna snarked.
  47. "Sleepy Filly was always nodding off, no matter the situation. Even though she slept all the time, she was always tired. Sh-"
  48. >"Why would she always be tired if she's sleeping all the time?"
  49. >You shrug.
  50. "I don't know, maybe it's gonna get to that." You clear your throat and continue. "She would complain to her mother about her sleepiness all the time, but her mother had no idea how to help. Then, one day-"
  51. >"Something magical happened and she was able to stay awake," Luna sarcastically predicted.
  52. "Then, one day," you continued, pretending she didn't interrupt you, "her mother decided to make a super special hot cocoa guaranteed to wake up anypony with one sip. It was a secret recipe passed down in the family, and it was the perfect solution to Sleepy Filly's problem."
  53. >"Oh really? Something will go wrong."
  54. "You do know you're criticizing a children's book, right?"
  55. >"Doesn't excuse the predictable writing."
  56. >Rolling your eyes, you continue the story.
  57. "When Sleepy Filly drank this cocoa, it woke her up completely! For the first time, she didn't feel sleepy at all. It was good to be wide awake. She did all the things she couldn't do before because of her sleepiness. It was fun for awhile, but soon Sleepy Filly realized something important: Sh-"
  58. >"She couldn't get back to sleep. Too easy."
  59. >You glare at the moon pony, but continue anyways.
  60. "So, to help Sleepy Filly get back to sleep, her mother made the same hot cocoa for her, but in reverse instead."
  61. >"How does that even make sense?"
  62. "Once Sleepy Filly took a sip, she was asleep instantly! In bed once again, Sleepy Filly dreamed about how glad she was to be able to sleep again. She lived happily ever after, in dreams and in real life. The end."
  63. >You snap the book closed, and look at Luna.
  64. "Anything?"
  65. >"Only a pathological urge to criticize the book on many levels."
  66. >We've got a critic at heart here.
  67. >If books wouldn't work, something else certainly would.
  68. "We'll get you to sleep, princess. I promise."
  69. >"A promise you can't guarantee, Anonymous. I'd be choice with my words if I were in your position."
  70. >She's still pretty cranky.
  71. >Next?
  73. "Tea."
  74. >"Tea?"
  75. "Yes, tea. Your sister drinks it all the time, doesn't she?"
  76. >"She does. It doesn't mean anything for us."
  77. "Actually, it does. She's got tons of it, and all we have to do is make some for you."
  78. >"Does tea really help you get to sleep, though?"
  79. "Last I heard, yeah."
  80. >"This ought to be good. Very well, carry on and make me tea."
  81. >You leave the room and head to the kitchen, the thought of getting Luna to sleep being your only priority.
  82. >So, if that's the case, why not add tons of sleep-aid to her drink?
  83. >Reaching the kitchen, you look around and find a box of tea leaves.
  84. >Prepping the tea and letting it heat up on the oven gives you time to find sleep meds after a trip to a nearby bathroom.
  85. >The teapot whistled right as you got back to the room, and it's taken off the stove and poured into a teacup.
  86. >The sleep-aid is added in copious amounts, each tiny pill dissolving in the dark liquid.
  87. >If this didn't get her to sleep, nothing would.
  88. >Returning to Luna's room, you find the night princess tossing and turning on her bed, angry.
  89. >"WHY!? How does insomnia do this!? This is ridiculous!"
  90. >She looks up and sees you, teacup in hand.
  91. >"Oh, Anonymous, you return. Finally."
  92. >The teacup floats over to her quickly, and she swigs the entire thing down.
  93. >The teacup is set down on her nightstand, and she sits, waiting for sleep to take her.
  94. >Minutes pass.
  95. >It feels like hours, but it's only a mere few more seconds before she rises out of bed, frustrated.
  96. >"Why did you think that would work, Anonymous?"
  97. "Because I put a whole bunch of sleep-aid in it. I wasn't sure if tea alone would do it."
  98. >"Well congratulations, you've proven that both do absolutely nothing."
  99. >She paces next to her bed, the bags under her eyes looking heavier with each hour that passes.
  100. >This restless behavior is probably what caused her to get this way in the first place.
  101. "Alright, I'll think of something else, princess."
  102. >"And it will inevitably fail. I've tried so much, Anonymous, and I failed, too."
  103. "You don't have to be so negative about it."
  104. >"But I've tried almost everything! How is it possible to not be negative about it!?"
  105. "Have you really tried everything though?"
  106. >"YES!"
  107. >You reel back at the sheer volume of her answer.
  108. "What about talking about your problems? I've heard insomnia can also be caused by stress."
  109. >"STRESS!? Let me explain to you what I know of stress, Anonymous! Stress is one of the most horrible feelings a pony can experience! It gnaws away at you, and you're helpless to do nothing but worry and try to handle your problems!"
  110. "This is regular?"
  111. >"Of course it is! I am a PRINCESS! I help rule a country! It's very stressful work, and now I have this insomnia, too! What more could a ruler ask for!?"
  112. >She snorts, steam practically coming from her nostrils.
  113. >"This is ridiculous!"
  114. "Just let it all out, princess."
  115. >"The worst part of this is that I'm expected to attend a summit with my sister on Sunday, and it's all that I've been able to think about!"
  116. "And that's your problem. That's what's got you so wound up that you can't sleep. You need to relax and take your mind off of that summit."
  117. >"But I CAN'T. It is an important meeting between delegates from several different countries, and relations are tense! I have to watch my step there!"
  118. "Here, let me try and help you," you tell the moon pony, walking behind her.
  119. >"Oh, what is this now, some type of trust exercise? Do you expect me to fall backwards and trust you to catch me?"
  120. "Nope."
  121. >Your hands reach for Luna's shoulders, but the princess is too busy ranting to notice.
  122. >"To think, this stress may truly be what's causing this insomnia! At least we have the cause, but now treatme-me...ehhhh~"
  123. >She had stopped the moment you started massaging her shoulders.
  124. "Wow, you are really tense here, Luna. Knots everywhere."
  125. >"Ah, I don't care what that may mean, just keep going."
  126. >You oblige her request, rubbing further into her shoulders.
  127. >She shudders as she receives a stronger, more intense rubbing.
  128. "Go lay down on your bed, princess. It'll give me more room to work with."
  129. >She follows your command, falling onto her bed, back up.
  130. >This allows you to work further into her back and neck, both of these areas also hopelessly riddled in knots.
  131. "Number one stress reliever is a massage, princess. Wasn't sure if you knew or not, but now you do."
  132. >"I...I feel it, Anonymous. The stress leaving my body, the working of my muscles, everything."
  133. "So, when was the last time you had a massage, Luna?"
  134. >"A...long time...ago..."
  135. "Getting sleepy, Luna?"
  136. >"Nah, not...really..."
  137. >She clutches her sheets with her hooves, her body motionless, save for her breathing.
  138. >You continue to rub her back, pressing out those troubling knots and hearing her breathe deeply the longer you give the massage.
  139. >After pressing your thumbs against her neck and slowly rotating them, you ask the princess a question.
  140. "You sure you're not getting sleepy?"
  141. >"......ngahhh......"
  142. "Oh, really? You are? How 'bout that?"
  143. >"..........hrph............"
  144. "Interesting. And here I thought you were saying nothing would work, and I would just fail at getting you to sleep."
  145. >Your statement is met with a loud snore from the night princess.
  146. "Man, I totally didn't see that coming."
  147. >You take your hands off of her, now tucking the night pony into bed.
  148. >She snuggles under the covers and, for once, smiles.
  149. >She hadn't done that all week.
  150. >You leave the room, closing the door behind you.
  151. "Good night, princess."
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