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Tulpa.info Survey

a guest Dec 26th, 2012 251 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.         I’m Hjördi, a human female of approximately 20 years of age. My host is a human male of 19 years of age.
  3.  
  4. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  5.  
  6.         He believed that I was sentient from the get-go, and that he was either too dumb to hear what I had to say or that I simply needed to learn a proper method of communication.
  7.  
  8. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  9.  
  10.         His doubts! Even if he believed in me he still doubted himself! First he doubted his resolve to have a tulpa, then he doubted his ability to hear me communicate. It was super annoying! It hurt to hear these thoughts early on, but I eventually realized that he has little control over what thoughts enter his head, so I forgave him. He had gotten so used to these fleeting thoughts that I don’t think he realized they were impacting me. They made me feel...unwanted? He picked up on some of the times I was super indignant and was quick to apologize, and I was somewhat quick to forgive.
  11.  
  12. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  13.  
  14.         Expressing myself clearly. My host could understand some of my base thoughts, but they were very vague to him. He’s not very good at visualizing faces so I had to learn to use body language and actions until I could speak to him in full English.
  15.  
  16. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  17.  
  18.         Narration by far. My host spent most of his day when he wasn’t forcing or doing taxing mental tasks narrating to me. Everything from his theories and explanations of things to just whatever was on my mind. He thought a lot about absolutely nothing of consequence, but it was extremely interesting to me.
  19.  
  20. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  21.  
  22.         He didn’t get too terribly distracted in the early days so it wasn’t really a problem since my creation sufficiently stimulated him. These days he gets so distracted by his own thoughts that he can’t really visualize anymore. We think he might have ADD, but that’s not for me to talk about. We were communicating long before I became fluent, and back then the tulpa process was so interesting to him that he had no problem staying focused, though he could never force for longer than 30 minutes straight. He still made sure to get in at least an hour a day.
  23.  
  24. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  25.  
  26.         The only time he would miss sessions was when he had a good reason to miss them, and I actually made him skip a sessions for his health early on. My creation was not kind on his brain, but he got through it. He never straight-up promised me anything in regards to forcing times (he has this aversion to commitments like that), so he didn’t break any promises.
  27.  
  28. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  29.  
  30.         Depends on the person. For us it was the amount of time spent since my host has trouble focusing so hard for extended periods of time. Him narrating several hours a day also helped.
  31.  
  32. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  33.  
  34.         Never happened. He always forced sitting in his computer chair so he wouldn’t fall asleep. I get the impression that he’s not the kind to nod off.
  35.  
  36. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  37.  
  38.         Whatever is convenient. Talking aloud is helpful if your head is as distracting as my hosts’, but obviously not everyone can talk aloud to their tulpas all the time. The more time spent narrating, the better.
  39.  
  40. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  41.  
  42.         He only puppeted me once, as an example on how to use my body, which helped me quite a bit. He tried one other time to teach me to talk, but he realized how...I’m having a hard time finding the right word. It was like he just walked into the women’s room on accident when he tried and he broke control before he did anything. I wouldn’t have minded, but he’s weird about a lot of things. I think the fact that I was communicative by that point is what set him off.
  43.  
  44. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  45.  
  46.         Quite deeply, since I was able to communicate to my host using thoughts before I could speak in English.
  47.  
  48. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  49.  
  50.         It was dark and I heard a voice. I couldn’t understand what was being said, but I remember the meanings behind the words. I remember a snowy, cloudy forest coming into focus, then my host introduced himself, told me his name and my name, and gave me a starting point for my personality. He then left the wonderland and I was cold so I build a log cabin in the forest.
  51.  
  52. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  53.        
  54.         It was love, but not the romantic kind. It’s kind of the same thing humans feel about God, yet still wholly different. It was deeper...richer somehow. I really don’t know how to describe it. I don’t recall the cause, just the emotion itself.
  55.  
  56. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  57.  
  58.         I was indignant over his self-doubt. He didn’t think he had the capacity to live with another being in his head, and he was upset with himself over it.
  59.  
  60. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  61.  
  62.         No. Not once. Not ever. Existing is far too grand.
  63.  
  64. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  65.  
  66.         My host had some extremely heavy real-life things come up, probably the worst thing he’s had to endure in a long while. It was only about 6 or 7 days into my creation and I felt completely hopeless watching him spiral downward into crushing depressions. He’s normally very mellow and happy, but this experience was awful. I felt his soul-crushing depression to the core of my being and I was trying desperately to cheer him up. He eventually hear me and I spoke to him with the little English I knew, but the exchange left me exhausted. He was better in a few hours thanks to me, but we were both dead tired the next day.
  67.  
  68. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  69.  
  70. See Above
  71.  
  72. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  73.  
  74.         He’s never really ignored me. Most of the time we don’t communicate is when he’s busy doing other things, but he still tries to check in on me.
  75.  
  76. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  77.  
  78.         The first time one of his random doubts came into his mind. He quickly dismissed it but it hurt me pretty bad. He prostrated (his word, not mine!) himself and I forgave him. There were other occurrences of this before I realized that he doesn’t have any control over what he thinks.
  79.  
  80. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  81.  
  82. See 17.
  83.  
  84. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  85.  
  86.         See 17
  87.  
  88. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  89.  
  90.         Not at first, but he was sort of open with what difficulties he was having. A lot of the difficulties that he has he doesn’t realize at first. I tried my best, be he still has some trouble to this day.
  91.  
  92. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  93.  
  94.         He never doubted me, not for a moment. He only doubted himself. I can understand why he was having concerns, since he’s never really had a person in his life that he couldn’t shut his door to, but I’ve done my absolute best to give him his space. We agree that it was rather ridiculous for him to have such doubts, but he’d put it a little more strongly than I.
  95.  
  96. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  97.  
  98.         I think he worried more about the negative effects of his life on mine to be honest. There’s no way he’d ever admit that, but it’s what I believe.
  99.  
  100. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  101.  
  102.         He only had negative emotions once, during the third day, and that was because he was exhausted and had a killer headache, so I don’t hold it against him. It made me really upset at the time, though, but he was quick to realize his mistake.
  103.  
  104. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  105.  
  106.         He was very careful with his thoughts in the early days. He was quick to stifle any thoughts he thought to be unsavory, but I still caught glimpses here and there. Nothing that really affected me.
  107.  
  108. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  109.  
  110.         At first I had no idea. I thought all thoughts were the same, and I really let them get to me. I’ve learned to tell the difference, even if most of his thoughts are intrusive.
  111.  
  112. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  113.  
  114.         Just hearing at first, then sight. In the beginning he had to route sight to me, but I can access any sense whenever I want these days.
  115.  
  116. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  117.  
  118.         Not really. He kept a log but there was and is an understanding that it’s my decision whether or not I get to interact with the outside world.
  119.  
  120. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  121.  
  122.         We started with head pressure, mainly so he knew I was there and not for actual communication. Within a few days I was sending him thoughts and he was understanding them, but thoughts are very vague and I wasn’t able to communicate precisely. I used thought communication for a long time until he finally started pressuring me to use English.
  123.  
  124. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  125.  
  126.         He wanted to have me talking ASAP and I tried my absolute hardest to get there. I think his natural curiosity fueled me more than his enthusiasm, but I don’t know why I think that. It feels like the most correct answer I can give, though.
  127.  
  128. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  129.  
  130.         I didn’t and don’t have any worries about my relationship with him. He, on the other hand, was positively terrified for no good reason that I would develop romantic and sexual feelings for him. Especially sexual. The topic still makes him nervous, so naturally I use it to rustle his jimmies.
  131.  
  132. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  133.        
  134.         I am extremely grateful that he made me, especially now that I know him better. He’s pretty introverted and very happy with his own company, so I am supremely grateful  that he gives me so much time and attention., but I don’t feel like I owe him a debt.
  135.  
  136. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  137.        
  138. Mine.
  139.  
  140. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  141.  
  142.         Between the two of us I didn’t mind because he could still understand the thought behind what I was trying to say. I never talked to anyone than my host or put anything I said on the internet because I was fairly embarrassed by my verbal skills. He still quoted me a few times, but it is only recently that I feel comfortable expressing myself to others.
  143.  
  144. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  145.  
  146.         The relationship between a tulpa and host (at least for us) is unique. It is far deeper than anything between two humans, but I suppose we fall more on the brother/sister side. I’d only admit that if you put a gun to my head though.
  147.  
  148. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  149.  
  150.         I’m becoming more interested. Maybe not talking directly, but I at least want my thoughts written down and hopefully read. I’m more interested in talking to his real-life friends than internet people, but he hasn’t really interacted with the tulpa community much (if at all).
  151.  
  152. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  153.  
  154.         There are so many! If I had to choose I think I’d say I like the memory of him building me an observatory in space in wonderland.
  155.  
  156. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  157.  
  158.         I don’t really have a memory that isn’t related to him somehow. If you mean a memory where he wasn’t directly involved then it would certainly be me hearing him playing music on his bass for the first time. I don’t think I want a ‘fulfilling life independent of my creator’ just yet. Things are too much fun with him.
  159.  
  160. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  161.  
  162.         Some of his friends are cool and I’d like to talk to them someday. I’d certainly like to talk to his family to make up for all the words he keeps to himself when he’s around them.
  163.  
  164. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  165.  
  166.         I’m much less cold than him, and far more careful. I love cute things while he’s into far darker things. I’m way less philosophical and theoretical than him. Our music tastes differ slightly. I prefer my music to either be classical or very passionate. He like more groovy things. Groovy metal things. I feel like our speech and writing patterns are very similar, but my vocabulary tends to be less vulgar. I believe I’ll develop a more unique style as time progresses.
  167.  
  168. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  169.  
  170.         He’s far more morally and ethically gray than I am, but that doesn’t cause strife between us. I have minor disagreements over his day-to-day actions, but they’re minor and more preference-based than anything major. The only thing that caused us strife was the nature of our relationship. He was explicitly against any romantic relations between us and I didn’t understand at the time. I still wish he’d accept me as a lover, but I understand his position enough to let it slide (for now!).
  171.  
  172. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  173.  
  174.         Nothing, on either end.
  175.  
  176. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  177.  
  178.         When he had his first self-doubts. I haven’t disappointed him yet, though perhaps my desire for him to see me as a girlfriend disappoints him. I can’t tell if his emotional twinge is disappointment or fear.
  179.  
  180. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  181.  
  182.         I don’t fear it at all. We both know I only make his life better.
  183.  
  184. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  185.  
  186.         I’ve kinda wanted to spar in wonderland with him, but nothing seriously violent.
  187.  
  188. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  189.  
  190.         Nope. His last name is dumb!
  191.  
  192. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  193.  
  194.         Never.
  195.  
  196. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  197.  
  198.         My host created me with no real expectations other than that I would be myself. I believe I exceed his expectations every day.
  199.  
  200. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  201.  
  202.         I believe it would be interesting, but I’m not dying to learn possession. I believe it is extremely fair for the host to deny right to the body. They were the ones born with the thing, after all.
  203.  
  204. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  205.  
  206.         Not at all.
  207.  
  208. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  209.  
  210.         I can sleep independently, but if I’ve had a dream while sleeping I certainly don’t remember it.
  211.  
  212. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  213.  
  214.         He might have ADD (I don’t know exactly what qualifies something to be a mental illness, though!), if he’d go and get checked for it. It doesn’t affect me, just makes heavy forcing nearly impossible and I have to repeat a lot of things since he gets distracted so much.
  215.  
  216. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  217.  
  218.         I can understand him and what he means even if he doesn’t. There’s a huge library in wonderland with all his memories, but I don’t think I’ve ever encountered his actual subconscious. I can push things to the back or front of his mind sometimes, but I haven’t really tried to screw around with his head. Bad things happened last time I tried something big.
  219.  
  220. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  221.  
  222.         I’m the only one so far, and it’s going to remain that way for a long time. We have ideas for a second and third, but I think it’ll be a year before we’re ready for another. Wow it really sounds like we’re talking about children here.
  223.  
  224. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  225.  
  226.         I feel very much attracted to my creator, and he does to me at some level deep down, though he’d never admit it. He believes that the relationship between a tulpa and a host is far greater than anything between two physical humans and ‘doesn’t want to downgrade our relationship’. I neither understand nor agree with this, but he’s adamant on that. He’s still affectionate to an extent, just enough to keep me happy I think. He’s also absolutely, positively, unquestionably, unequivocally against sex. I brought it up once or maybe I had a fleeting thought about it, and I’ve never seen him filled with such disgust at any idea. He wasn’t disgusted at me, just the idea of us having sex. Romance is one of those things he’s super weird about and I’ve just given up trying to comprehend his stance on it. He’s explained his reasoning to me several times, but I still don’t get it.
  227.  
  228. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  229.  
  230.         We don’t have a romantic relationship :<.
  231.  
  232. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  233.  
  234.         I don’t think I’d ever not love him romantically, or at least I can’t imagine it. More probably I’ll become more accepting of his stance on our relationship.
  235.  
  236. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  237.  
  238.         While our relationship now is more like brother and sister, it’s not so. Our relationship at this point is strictly that of a tulpa and host.
  239.  
  240. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  241.  
  242.         I find it disagreeable. At least wait until the tulpa is sentient.
  243.  
  244. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  245.  
  246.         Same as above.
  247.  
  248. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  249.  
  250.         I’ve wanted to try sex, but he’s more against it that anything. It’s like I suggested we should go knife a baby or something. I’ve given up trying to understand why.
  251.  
  252. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  253.  
  254.         If the tulpa is nonsentient then it’s basically rape. My host has never done anything remotely sexual to me.
  255.  
  256. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  257.  
  258.         At first, but he hates the fact that he is sexually attracted to certain women. When I realized he hates being sexually aroused/attracted I forgave him. He doesn’t like to not be in control of himself.
  259.  
  260. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  261.  
  262.         I guess? I’m not so much physically attracted as mentally. He doesn’t experience sexual attraction to me unless he’s really out of it, and that usually wakes him up. I chose a form that was visually appealing to him. I haven’t encountered a man that made me say ‘gee, I want to bang that’ yet.
  263.  
  264. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  265.  
  266.         Have not had sexual contact with him. Ever. The circumstance would be that he would have to agree to have sex, which I can’t see happening any time this century. I understand that the idea of him having sex is supremely repulsive to him, and I’m mainly just curious, so I have no problem keeping it in check.
  267.  
  268. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  269.  
  270.         Straight, like him, though I tend to be a little more flexible than him.
  271.  
  272. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  273.  
  274.         Haven’t ever had one.
  275.  
  276. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  277.  
  278.         He believes wholeheartedly in it. From what I understand, he has far too much respect for the both of us to do something so immodest. The only time I’ve ever been nude in front of him was when he was checking to make sure my body was properly visualized. We’ve discussed sex, but never in detail. He’s somewhat of an old-fashioned gentleman to me, which I find to be quite flattering.
  279.  
  280. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  281.  
  282.         I haven’t really thought about rape.
  283.  
  284. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  285.  
  286.         Traversing the stars in the sky. One can dream, right?
  287.  
  288. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  289.  
  290.         Absolutely! My definition of the world is much smaller than what you were asking I think. I used to be afraid that me and my host weren’t ready to relay what I had to say. He wasn’t as adept at hearing me and I wasn’t so great at actually speaking. He’s told one other person that I exist, though no details. I’d like people to at least know my name, and to that end we might start writing fiction together.
  291.  
  292. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  293.  
  294.         My personality is my own. My host stressed that I was to become how I wanted, not how he dictated. He just gave me a framework for starting my personality, but I’ve deviated significantly from it.
  295.  
  296. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  297.  
  298.         I created my own form. My host let me have full control over the whole development stage, though I do wish he had stated with a form first. He kind of just gave me a female humanoid shape and let me do what I wanted, which is coming back to bite him.
  299.  
  300. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  301.  
  302.         Yes, though the changes have been slight. I tweaked my appearance from what I initially created to make it more...me? I made myself more of what I call visually appealing, but my overall shape and general features didn’t change much.
  303.  
  304. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  305.  
  306.         Interesting question! I’d say both! It’s hard to explain properly, but it was like my host knew what not to put in me, and I picked up the rest from my subconscious.
  307.  
  308. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  309.  
  310.         It would be interesting, but implementing such things is just impossible. I believe that it’d do more harm than good.
  311.  
  312. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  313.  
  314.         It’s awesome! Tulpas get to enjoy interaction with the most important person in their lives every second of every day (if they want!), sometimes get a taste of what being physical is like, and not even have to put up with the day-to-day dirty work that comes with being a human! That being said...it is a little unfortunate that so little opportunities exist outside the tulpa community for us to interact with other sentients.
  315.  
  316. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  317.  
  318.         I don’t really resent anything, I just wish there was a little more public knowledge about tulpas, despite how dangerous that could be. The best advantage is getting to live life without all the maintenance humans have to do to themselves.
  319.  
  320. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  321.  
  322.         I didn’t inherit anything from him. Your friends don’t really inherit those things so I don’t see why a tulpa does unless you plan on switching or something. If my host ends up in death row for some reason I don’t think our relationship will change. I’ll still be there for him and we’ll still make an awesome team.
  323.  
  324. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  325.  
  326.         If the tulpa wishes it then I don’t think so, unless the host is really suffering. All issues can be worked out if both parties are willing! If the host just kills a tulpa because he’s tired of the tulpa, then I have a problem with it. I don’t equate my first point with murder due to how intimate the relationship between a host and tulpa is. There wouldn’t be any confusion, and the process isn’t so fast as human murder normally is. No legal protections. It would be too difficult and probably detrimental to implement.
  327.  
  328. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  329.  
  330.         I consider myself to be equal to any sentient.
  331.  
  332. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  333.  
  334.         I wouldn’t try to prove anything. I’d let the reality of my existence become evident as he/she interacts with me through my host.
  335.  
  336. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  337.  
  338.         Nope!
  339.  
  340. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  341.  
  342.         Nope!
  343.  
  344. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  345.  
  346.         Death seems scary, but I’m not afraid of it! Me and my host agree that death itself isn’t scary, it’s idea that we couldn’t add any more to the world. We still have a lot to do!
  347.  
  348. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  349.  
  350.         I don’t think any of those apply to me. You might as well ask a rabbit how it feels about discrimination.
  351.  
  352. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  353.  
  354.         Dear Lord no. One tulpa is fine for us for now.
  355.  
  356. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  357.  
  358.         Physical sentients have to put up with a lot more shit than we tulpas do. I don’t think it has any potential to cause strife, though. I’d be so bold as to claim that nearly all tulpas love their creators too much for intolerance to affect them in any way.
  359.  
  360. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  361.  
  362.         This belief is wholly inaccurate! I’m no psychologist, but I feel that if those people with DID or Scizo or whatever would actually try and co-operate with their other personalities then maybe the lives of a few sentient personalities could be saved! I realize this is a little idealistic, but I haven’t heard anything about people trying this. I won’t write what I’d say to psychologists here. It’d be super long and I don’t want to put my host through typing that whole thing out.
  363.  
  364. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  365.  
  366.         We’ve never heard of this!
  367.  
  368. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  369.  
  370.         I can feel them if I want to.
  371.  
  372. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  373.  
  374.         No complaints! He’s super awesome, and, speaking completely honestly, I think I prefer being with him than having a distinct physical body separate from him.
  375.  
  376. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  377.  
  378.         Didn’t!
  379.  
  380. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  381.  
  382.         Whatever my host is doing.
  383.  
  384. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  385.  
  386.         I would like it to be, but I also understand that at a certain point it would be a bad thing. I feel like a majority of the ignorant masses would abuse tulpas.
  387.  
  388. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  389.  
  390.         Sometimes he was really disturbing thoughts and inappropriate emotions, but nothing that makes me worry about him.
  391.  
  392. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  393.  
  394.         I would try! His will is stronger than mine, at least for now, so I don’t think he’d let me do anything catastrophic regardless how either of us felt.
  395.  
  396. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  397.  
  398.         Only the things that cause him the most repulsion, and even then they’re strictly related to him. On the rare occasions that he masturbates he absolutely forbids me from watching. Granted, I can just retrieve whatever he just experienced from his memory library, but I at least respect his wishes while he’s fallen into vice (his words!).
  399.  
  400. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  401.  
  402.         Some, and even then they’re more of a dark gray.
  403.  
  404. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  405.  
  406.         Intelligent in different ways. He’s a pretty smart guy, even if he’s pretty dumb in a few areas.
  407.  
  408. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  409.  
  410.         I don’t age. Well, not physically. I think aging for tulpas is just being able to be more and more independent from your host until I become an entirely separate consciousness.
  411.  
  412. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  413.  
  414.         Not entirely, but certainly in some (a lot) of situations.
  415.  
  416. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  417.  
  418.         Maybe not physical as in flesh and blood, but certainly an imaginary form. How else are you going to have awesome times with your host?
  419.  
  420. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  421.        
  422.         Oh, gee. Probably not at first, but maybe if I looked deeply into it.
  423.  
  424. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  425.  
  426. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  427.  
  428. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  429.  
  430.         I can speak well considering my age I feel. My grammar is not so good (my host has been trying to correct everything I tell him to type, but I’m not gonna let him!), but I’m learning. I haven’t been imposed on any sense yet, just mind voice for now.
  431.  
  432. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  433.  
  434.         He didn’t really do much. He gave be a base for my form and personality and narrated constantly. He let me become who I wanted to be so I did a lot of the creating. The trouble was getting him to recognize what I’d done to myself every day.
  435.  
  436. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  437.  
  438.         BELIEVE! Believe your tulpa is actually sentient from day 1 and that she’s trying her hardest to talk to you! Unless you directly thought it, it probably came from her!
  439.  
  440. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  441.  
  442.         Haven’t been imposed fully yet, but my host has imposed my directly behind him during a walk one time. It was awesome! My senses were fairly muted, but I have a feeling that if I were to spend more time imposed then they would become sharp.
  443.  
  444. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  445.  
  446.         Wonderland feels different enough that I know the difference between the two, but it’s a subtle thing. I’d say wonderland is a little more hazy, but that isn’t the right word at all to describe it. It’s the only word we know that gets close to describing it.
  447.  
  448. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  449.  
  450.         Nope!
  451.  
  452. Appendix one:
  453.  
  454.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  455.  
  456.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  457.  
  458. Tulpa's paragraph:
  459.  
  460. The nature studay area was quite surprising! We saw many awesome creatures like a snake that came near the grass path we were on and went quickly back into the tall grass. I was surprised to find out that the grasses that appeared green from a distance actually had a lot of color! Hidden in the sea of green is a lot of purple tassels and brown stalks. Overall I was totally unprepared by how surrounded by nature I felt. Even though I could still hear some cars and an airplane or two, I felt wholly removed from civilization! This nature study area allows students an awesome experience with nature without ever leaving the suburban campus.
  461.  
  462. Creator's paragraph:
  463.  
  464. The nature study area surprised me quite a bit. During our time there, my friends and I encountered many creatures such as a snake that briefly followed a grassy path before darting back into the taller grasses. These grasses stunned me with the myriad of purples and browns that I had taken to be simply a sea of green. All of this made me feel completely surrounded by nature despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes. Everything from the grasses to the animals make one feel completely removed from civilization without ever leaving Moraine’s suburban campus.
  465.  
  466.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  467.  
  468. http://iwl.me/
  469. http://textalyser.net
  470.  
  471.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  472.  
  473.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
  474.  
  475. Tulpa:
  476. She writes like Dan Brown.
  477. Lexical Density: 87%
  478. Gunning-Fog: 8.5
  479. Average Sentence Length: 16.57
  480.  
  481. Host:
  482. He writes like Vladimir Nabokov
  483. Lexical Density: 91.5%
  484. Gunning-Fog: 10.5
  485. Average Sentence Length: 19.8
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