a guest Jun 19th, 2019 127 Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. your new grocery list @Sam.#7057 (if you can't freeze it or think itll go bad before you can use it all, just buy what you think youll use)
  2. - asparagus - broccoli - brussel sprouts - advacodo - mushrooms - zucchini - lemons
  3. - you can have *some* fruit if you want but its not worth it if youre going keto imo
  4. - stevia (not splenda unless you prefer shitting your guts out), coco powder (no sugar), vanilla extract
  5. - eggs
  6. - cream
  7. - butter (salted)
  8. - pork chops ( I prefer non-bone; those loin ones), ground: hamburger meat; turkey meat; chicken, chicken breasts, bacon, steak, fish, or whatever else you like (I prefer salmon as easy cook nice taste fish)
  9. - almond flour (itll be there fucking look or ask), baking powder
  10. - cheese (lots of fucking cheese), cream cheese (get a tub),
  11. - spices: table salt, pepper, parm&herbs, himalayan salt (that pink shit) (<>), optional personal favorites: (not sure if canadian only, you can fucking find stuff with similar ingredients im sure) <>, <>
  13. other basic shit youre gonna want or need at minimum:
  14. a big mixing bowl
  15. a flat pan for the oven
  16. a brownie pan for the oven
  17. multiple sizes of stove top pans
  18. a cheese grader
  19. an electric mixer/beater (cheap shit from walmart is fine)
  20. fucking knives
  21. a flipper-thing for cooking and flipping shit and stuff you know the things
  22. ---
  23. what you are going to do as easy-quick shit for tonight:
  24. preheat oven to 425 (shouldnt take long)
  25. take out porkloins/chops
  26. put them on oven pan
  27. salt/pepper one side, then flip them and use whatever spice you want on the other side
  28. put them in heated oven for 15-25 minutes (until done). 25 might get a bit dry. optional: turn oven to "broil" setting if you have one for remaining 2-3 mins for a bit of a crisp
  29. while porkchops are cooking, take out the brussel sprouts
  30. dont wash those little nigs theyll be too soggy
  31. cut off the little "stems" ends, then cut them in halves (should look like: <>)
  32. heat pan on stove top, medium heat (sometimes I go higher because im an impatient madman)
  33. to check if pan is ready, wet your fingers and flick/sprinkle the water onto the pan, if the water sizzles, its g2g
  34. cut off a gracious amount of butter
  35. put into pan (don't take too long or it will burn)
  36. put cut brussles into pan
  37. sprinkle them graciously with that parm-herb shit
  38. flip em around (doesnt have to be perfect just use your flipper thingy), then sprinkle more parm-herb shit; let em sit for a while and get nice and crispy
  39. (they should only take like 5-10 mins, so prep them then start to cook them in time with the porkchops)
  40. if desired: half a half of an advocado (if you dont like advocados they will grow on you, trust me. they are a great source of fat for keto and we will be using them for lots of shit so fucking buy them faggot)
  41. ---
  42. tomorrow morning:
  43. crush some of the pink himalayan salt shit (just use the bottom of a glass/cup if you aint got nothing); like a spoon-full worth
  44. cut half a lemon
  45. put crushed pink salt shit into your water bottle, and squeeze in the lemon (obviously add fucking water retard)
  46. shake up graciously
  47. gulp it back
  48. this will help you stay hydrated and happy throughout the day. also I like how it tastes. I call it salty drink, even better than the jizz of your roomie you normally drink for breakfast
  49. ---
  50. following days or time you have extra time to prep food:
  51. fucking dm me retard, im not typing it all out at once, I'm a diva
RAW Paste Data
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy. OK, I Understand
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!