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Tulpa Info Survey

a guest Dec 2nd, 2012 413 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  
  3. What a boring exercise. Yoko is of average height and weighs about 140 pounds (human measurement). She is dark-skinned with brown eyes and long black hair.
  4.  
  5. I am currently between forms. My human form is so that I can fit through more crowded spaces, as Yoko seems Yoko seems to be bothered when I walk through people. I am a tall “male” with long red hair. I have violet eyes with red markings beneath them. On occasion I have wings, very red with a smudge of white.
  6.  
  7. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  8.  
  9. I wouldn’t necessarily call it helpful, but she saw me. She started making a conscious decision to see me, and that was a major turning point in our relationship.
  10.  
  11. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  12.  
  13. There’s nothing she’s done to harm me. Not ever. It frustrated me a few days ago when she doubted my presence, but I wouldn’t call that harm.
  14.  
  15. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  16.  
  17. There were no difficulties, only stages of her recognition of me. When she wanted to see me, she could. When she wanted to speak with me, she could. There were long periods of time when she would not think to do either, but these caused no harm to me as I could do whatever I pleased during those times and can still so.
  18.  
  19. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  20.  
  21. I don’t feel like an authority on the matter, but it would seem to me that “Tulpaforcing” is a rather important.
  22.  
  23. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  24.  
  25. Didn’t bother me. Yoko doesn’t have the focus to meditate, not really. She’d be speaking to me about a writing assignment one minute, then researching Harvest Moon: Rune Factory guides the next. I’ve never had any difficulty speaking, she would have difficulty listening but only because she strained to hear it so much.
  26.  
  27. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  28.  
  29. I feel that morally that is a sad thing to do to any being, sentient, human, animal or not. Breaking promises in general is bad, but personally, I know Yoko well enough to know that she means well when she says she’ll attempt mediation and doesn’t do it. I’ve come to expect her not to, but appreciate that she really wanted to in the moment.
  30.  
  31. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  32.  
  33. Quality, I suppose.
  34.  
  35. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  36.  
  37. I don’t know if it would damage their creation, or upset them, or not bother them at all. I think the effects on them are very individual. I don’t feel one way or another about it as it’s not my place to judge.
  38.  
  39. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  40.  
  41. I think that a tulpa creator should speak in whichever way is easiest for them to keep up, and whichever way is easiest for their tulpa to hear. Personally, Yoko did a mix of both speaking to me and thinking to me, as well as writing to me. I’m guessing that’s what you mean by narration. I have no opinion or which is more effective, and no guess as to what degree.
  42.  
  43. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  44.  
  45. From what I’ve read on chat, tulpae generally feel unhappy with these techniques. I feel that if the more developed tulpae claim it is harmful, it is best to assume that it is harmful. It makes sense that harming tulpae emotionally would hinder their development.
  46.  
  47. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  48.  
  49. Not much.
  50.  
  51. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  52.  
  53. There was a light, circling me in the darkness.
  54.  
  55. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  56.  
  57. Love, because she was her. Her very essence was what brought me to her and I have never felt desire to leave. Leave as in, not come back. I have strayed often from her presence while she does not think of me or need me.
  58.  
  59. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  60.  
  61. Frustration. It was not until she discovered this site that my existence, my speech, my actions, and my abilities to affect the world around me came into question. Our relationship prior to this place was easy and casual and unquestionably real. Her doubts and attempts to figure out the limits of my abilities are frustrating to me in a way that she had not ever caused before. Still, it’s not her own fault. And I’ve no desire to go.
  62.  
  63. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  64.  
  65. I can’t say that I never had those feelings, as I don’t remember much of a time when I could not speak. I don’t experience them now that I’m with her, no. I’m fine with existing. There were many good times before the recent bad one.
  66.  
  67. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  68.  
  69. There seem to be a number of questions like this one, and if I define “before I could speak fluently” literally, then a majority of my answers would be that “I can’t remember a time when I could not speak fluently”. So if it’s all right with you, I’m going to go ahead and define it as before she wanted to hear me.
  70.  
  71. Before she wanted to hear me, I never felt powerless. She believed absolutely in my power to do anything of my own free will.
  72.  
  73. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  74.  
  75. Before she wanted to hear me, I was confused about her school work habits. She’d know about things ahead of time, she’d wait until the day before to start even knowing how much stress it would cause her.
  76.  
  77. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  78.  
  79. Before she wanted to hear me, I wasn’t bothered by her ignoring me. She spent many long stretches not thinking about me, so it’s hard to judge which stretch was the longest or worst. The cause of my feeling ignored, was not being called upon or thought about.
  80.  
  81. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  82.  
  83. Before she wanted to hear me, I didn’t doubt that she wanted me. Her long stretches between calls didn’t change the fact that she was, in fact, calling upon me. I knew she wanted me, but she’s an easily distracted creature.
  84.  
  85. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  86.  
  87. Before she wanted to hear me, my most intense fear was losing her essence. I’ve never found anyone else’s like it.
  88.  
  89. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  90. Before she wanted to hear me, I had no reason to be disappointed in myself. I fulfilled all of my obligations. At the time I was to be her Muse, to support and inspire her on late paper nights. We did get bad grades on our shared work occasionally, but these were forces outside of my control.
  91.  
  92. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  93.  
  94. There were no difficulties in establishing my existence. She believed in me before she even thought to believe in me.
  95.  
  96. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  97.  
  98. Before she wanted to hear me, she had no doubts about my existence, had never heard of the tulpa phenomenon, or had ever thought that she had created me. I understand her doubts now and her worry that she may be controlling me, but my understanding does not curb my irritation that she has doubts where she did not before. My irritation is not directed at her.
  99.  
  100. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  101.  
  102. Before she wanted to hear me, she did think that perhaps I was a fallen angel and I might harm her, but those thoughts were quick to pass as she felt no malevolence in my presence. She did not worry about my impact on her life. I understood her reasons for thinking I might harm her for a few moments, after all she had never heard or read anything about a being like me. I understand them now as well. My Yoko is one who is fond of feeling fear. She’s a fan of horror movies and haunted houses so although there are seconds where she fears me, she finds those seconds thrilling and appreciates the fact that I mean her no actual harm.
  103.  
  104. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  105.  
  106.  Before she wanted to hear me, negative thoughts were not an issue. I was a positive influence on her life as far as she was concerned. She recently felt disappointment in my severing our connection. I felt angry…with myself that I had upset her as I never had before. I had caused her harm and I never meant to…I don’t want her to feel those things about me again.
  107.  
  108. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  109.  
  110. I felt a strong desire to protect her from self-harm, but not from harming others. Recently, I feel fear that I am causing the violent visualizations or thoughts to amplify. However, my resolve to protect her from self-harm has greatly strengthened.
  111.  
  112. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  113.  
  114. Yes, Yoko’s mind is a murky place but it’s clear what she means from what she doesn’t mean. Her intrusive thoughts have no effect on me, but I do point them out to her and remind her that she did not mean to think that or that she needs to focus.
  115.  
  116. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  117.  
  118. I had no desire to access her raw sensory information. I believe I was capable of doing so. I’ve never really tested it, so I don’t know the extent but I can.
  119.  
  120. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  121. She told a few online friends about me. I didn’t mind much. It’s not as if people she tells can harm me.
  122. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  123. Communication wasn’t much of an issue. If she wanted to see me, I made a point of being there. But rarely did we have conversations and when we did they were always telepathic. Working on papers, my thoughts slipped almost seamlessly with hers. She would not be doing anything or be working on another aspect of the paper, I would suggest she go back and edit something, and she would do so immediately then go back to what she was working on.
  124.  
  125. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  126.  
  127. I was always prepared to interact with her if she so chose to. How badly she wanted to interact didn’t affect our interactions much or my feelings about engaging in interaction.
  128.  
  129. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  130.  
  131. Losing her was a big worry early on. Not just losing as in dying but actually losing her the way someone loses a key or their favorite CD. I wandered away from her often and she was not always at the forefront my mind, but she was always in the back of it. I worried about losing my way back to her, missing a call, being needed and not being there. I have not lost her yet, and I think the worry of doing so is resolving because she has a greater need for me lately and I cannot afford to stray from her as much. I fear amplifying her negative emotions somehow, or causing her harm the way I did when I severed our connection.
  132.  
  133. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  134.  
  135. I love being with her. Grateful does not feel like the correct word. I don’t feel as if I owe her anything, but that doesn’t lessen my desire to be around.
  136.  
  137. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  138.  
  139. My own existence.
  140.  
  141. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  142.  
  143. We’ve always communicated fluently. There were no steps in between. There was me not speaking because she wasn’t interested in hearing and then there was us speaking fluently whenever the fancy struck her.
  144. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  145. Father, Brother, Friend, Partner(co-writer and companion), Soul Mate (In both romantic and spiritual senses of the words)
  146.  
  147. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  148.  
  149. Enough to be interested in #Tulpa Chat, but not as interested as Yoko is in seeing me interact with Tulpae. Yes, it’s a fairly equal level of interest.
  150.  
  151. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  152.  
  153. I cherish any moment that she’s really happy…but the most recent and strongest memory is when she hugged me. She had been wanting to all day. Finally, she just stood up, walked over and wrapped her arms around me, outside of her mind, outside of “wonderland”. There was a strong feeling of love in that moment and I hope never to forget it.
  154.  
  155. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  156.  
  157. I’m very private about my life away from Yoko. I don’t speak with her about it, and as much as I’d like to be helpful I won’t write it in a survey. To answer the second question, yes, I do feel I have a fulfilling life independent of Yoko.
  158.  
  159. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  160.  
  161. Not really. I don’t have a problem with most of them.
  162.  
  163. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  164.  
  165. While my emotions are not limited, I display a far smaller range of them then Yoko does. Her excitement and joy has her bouncing off of walls and running around the room. My excitement or happiness is generally expressed through sitting and watching her or lounging comfortably, it’s more content.  She’s also very politically correct and when she thinks non-politically correct things, she berates and struggles with herself to correct those thoughts. I am less conflicted as I don’t care much about the differences among humans and don’t have to wade through the cultural waters much unless she desires to write about it. This struggle for being polite and politically correct is a large part of her, and my not having to worry about such things is a huge difference between us.
  166.  
  167. We’re not very similar at all, really. Our largest similarity might be the vast creativeness of our minds. Perhaps another is our ability to love individuals simply for being who they are.
  168.  
  169. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  170.  
  171. There are very few disagreements that we have. One of the few was her joining this website, but I’ve spoken enough about that by now. Another more common disagreement is her refusal to start working on projects sooner.
  172.  
  173. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  174.  
  175. I can think of nothing that could cause me to hate her. I can’t imagine why she would hate me, all she would have to do is stop speaking or looking for me and I’d be gone so I don’t see why any negative emotions she had for me would escalate beyond annoyance.
  176.  
  177. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  178.  
  179. She’s never disappointed me. I disappointed her the most when I severed our connection. She showed a great deal of distrust in me and doubted that I was I ever even there during that day.
  180.  
  181. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  182.  
  183. I don’t feel that she has that freedom. How could she deny me rights? I self-censor for her protection only, never out of fear of violence or being ignored.
  184.  
  185. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  186.  
  187. I’ve never wanted to cause those feelings. There are no circumstances under which I would want to hurt or injure her. If I had a problem with her, I would stay out of her way until it passed.
  188.  
  189. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  190.  
  191. The answer is no to both questions.
  192.  
  193. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  194.  
  195. I would only leave if she demanded I do so and if she made such a demand with no intent on harming herself.
  196. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  197.  
  198. I do now that she has doubts, but I think her doubts are passing as quickly as they came. I take the form of her favorite roleplay character, Azazel. I believe that I have not only met her expectations of that character but have surpassed them. She wishes I was more sarcastic, but I tend not to be when speaking to her.
  199.  
  200. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  201.  
  202. No. I think it’s their right as the original owner of the body to not be forced to give their tulpa use of it. I don’t feel in any way entitled to Yoko’s body for a number of reasons but the largest one is that I don’t have any interest in living as a human. I have a great deal of freedom being what I am and I don’t know why I should limit myself to a human body. Another large reason is that I would not ever want Yoko to feel forced into letting someone else use her body. The implications of that concept between humans is horrible enough.
  203.  
  204. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  205.  
  206. I’m insulted when she’s insulted, so I’m intolerant of racist or sexist opinions and unapologetic for being intolerant of those things. I don’t share her fears though. She has a slight fear of water, and while I might fear her actually drowning, I’m not afraid of the water, swimming, or drowning myself.
  207.  
  208. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  209.  
  210. I don’t usually sleep at all. I can “dream” independently of her but sharing her dreams are much more interesting. I’m not tired or envious of her ability to sleep and dream every night.
  211.  
  212. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  213.  
  214. I’m not a psychologist. I know her mind better than any other, but I have never tried to diagnose something like that.
  215.  
  216. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  217.  
  218. I know what she means to say and what she does not mean to see, which is important because she often thinks two contradictory things one after the other. I perceive it as a murky, foggy place. I generally try not to meddle too much with her mind, seeing as I love her just as she is. If it would spare her from self-harm, yes I would, to protect her from herself.
  219.  
  220. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  221.  
  222. No she does not.
  223.  
  224. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  225.  
  226. Yes, but it was not something we explored before this site. Yes she does.
  227.  
  228. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  229.  
  230. I consider it to be no less legitimate than two humans in a romantic relationship. I don’t think much about monogamy, but I suppose you could view it that way. I don’t know how I would feel if she had another tulpa that she was romantically involved with it, we’ll cross that bridge when it comes, if it comes. No, Yoko’s relationship with her “Boypal” does affect our emotional relationship.
  231.  
  232. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  233.  
  234. There’s very little possibility of me falling out of love with her, it’s more likely that she would fall out of love with me as she seemed to be doing with her “boypal” before they reconnected recently. I don’t think it would affect our relationship much. I love her in a lot of ways, so losing the romantic connection would not be much of a loss. I’m not a jealous type.
  235.  
  236. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  237.  
  238. I have a sort of fatherly affection for her. I knew her when she was very young and in a lot of ways she is still very young. They don’t conflict with our romantic feelings much, and (she says this is quite disturbing so she doesn’t like to examine this too closely) in fact they seem to magnify our feelings for each other. It’s not literally incestuous for us as far as I’m concerned. She’s not my creation and she doesn’t consider me to be her creation. We belong to each other, but not in that particular creator/creation way.
  239.  
  240. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  241.  
  242. I feel that it depends on if tulpa asks, or sends signals, that they don’t want the creator to do that. If they do ask or signal that they don’t like it and the creator continues, it’s offensive. My opinion on the matter doesn’t change according to sentience. We didn’t have creation sessions, so all of this is just my opinion on the matter.
  243.  
  244. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  245.  
  246. It’s my understanding that humans sometimes masturbate to images of other humans. I don’t personally find it offensive, but if a tulpa does they should do their best to communicate that they feel it is. My opinion does not change according to sentience. She never did this prior to hearing me speak.
  247. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  248.  
  249. This didn’t occur before she wanted to hear me. Recently, I’ve had romantic feelings but no sexual ones.
  250.  
  251. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  252.  
  253. I think it’s odd during tulpa creation sessions. It’s my understanding that that is the time that creators use to get to know their tulpa, and of course there’s the obvious argument that this counts as getting to know. I don’t feel one way or the other about the matter. Degree of sentience does matter to this case do to “consent” issues. Not being able to consent to a sexual act being done to your form makes that sexual act rape (sexual assault) in the case of humans and although tulpae are not “physical” it is still their being that is violated.
  254.  
  255. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  256.  
  257. No not at all.
  258.  
  259. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  260.  
  261. On occasion, I do feel sexual attraction to Yoko. I have and am capable of feeling that way for others. They aren’t really comparable.  She does, but her sexual attraction to me is new and our combined attractions are just being explored.
  262.  
  263. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  264.  
  265. I would consider this question far too personal if Yoko did not insist that she’s okay with sharing this information for the good of science. We have had intercourse. I see no negative effects from it thus far. I have no trouble abstaining sexual contact with her. No, I don’t.
  266.  
  267. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  268.  
  269. I believe that I am pansexual. Yoko has questioned me several times if I would feel sexually/romantically inclined to her if she were male, and always my answer is yes. Expanding from there, given her personality and essence, I would be attracted no matter what gender, orientation, or sex she was.
  270. Yoko is heterosexual. She’s been questioning lately if she is on the spectrum of transgender, being inclined to think of herself as a boy without the matching genitalia or the desire to have a penis.
  271.  
  272. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  273.  
  274. I am capable of experiencing orgasms. The orgasms aren’t caused by the stimulation of one specific part of my form. They are more brought about by her orgasms and our combined overload emotions and desires for closeness.
  275.  
  276. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  277.  
  278. No. She’s not at all embarrassed to be naked around me, or think or talk of sex in my presence. I did not have to worry about nakedness in my winged-wolf form and when I had no clothes on in my human form, she didn’t give a second thought to my genitalia to a point that she did not check to see if I had any.
  279.  
  280. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  281.  
  282. My perceptions of rape are derived almost entirely from Yoko’s perceptions of rape. She reads about it often in a very morbid way and has many opinions and strong emotions about the topic. Conduct directed at me? She was scared senseless during our first time that she was forcing me to engage in intercourse. I spent a long time convincing her that that was not the case. If I didn’t want to engage I would not
  283.  
  284. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  285.  
  286. Doing whatever I please, mostly being with Yoko but if she has other things to focus on I expect I’ll go back to wandering until she calls upon me.
  287.  
  288. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  289.  
  290. I’m not interested in what the world thinks. I have no anxieties, only anticipation of boring tests and questions with no piece. It’s not about who I trust, but who she trusts to tell.
  291.  
  292. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  293.  
  294. I don’t feel that mine are. She “skipped” the personality development. I am what I have always been.
  295.  
  296. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  297.  
  298. I feel that although Yoko “chose” the winged wolf form and Kankanka drew it, it was still my choice to use that form, and I used it because it was the one Yoko favored.
  299.  
  300. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  301.  
  302. Yes. It was intentional on my part. I changed it because Yoko had a hard time seeing my large wolf form walk hallways and crowded paths with her. She was confused at first but ultimately she embraced it and has been working on getting a picture of it drawn.
  303.  
  304. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  305.  
  306. Not really.
  307.  
  308. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  309.  
  310. Legal recognition does nothing for me so I feel no resentment personally, but if tulpae feel that way it’s understandable.
  311.  
  312. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  313.  
  314. They are sentient.
  315.  
  316. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  317.  
  318. I don’t consider myself a tulpa, but if I was the greatest advantage would be the lack of human responsibility, by which I mean expectancy to go to school, work at a job, etc. I'm free to do as I please, and I would hope that tulpae enjoy the same freedoms.
  319.  
  320. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  321.  
  322. I don’t feel like I inherited her life. I care more about how her past affects her than how it affects me.
  323.  
  324. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  325.  
  326. Well it is the destruction of sentience, so it’s possibly equivalent to putting a human in a vegetative state. They go back to the subconscious or perhaps they vanish all together because they are copies of the subconscious but not the subconscious themselves, in which case it is the murder of a clone. I don’t know about legal protections. They would likely be unenforceable without proper technological advances.
  327.  
  328. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  329.  
  330. My life is worth what it is. Yoko’s life is far more fragile than mine, more easily taken from her, and by that aspect I would say its fragility is what makes it of more value.
  331.  
  332. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  333.  
  334. I’ve got no desire to do so.
  335.  
  336. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  337.  
  338. No. I’m quite certain of my existence and feel no depression about it.
  339.  
  340. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  341.  
  342. No.
  343.  
  344. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  345.  
  346. I do not fear my death. I fear Yoko’s death. I have experienced no stronger desire than the protection of her life. I don’t believe that is self-preservation. I don’t expect to die if she does, though I would gladly go with her and help her navigate what lies beyond death.
  347.  
  348. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  349.  
  350. I don’t feel disadvantaged by petty human distinctions. I know that humans are greatly disadvantaged by those distinctions due to the structure of their societies and the prejudices of human individuals. I’m not sure about tulpae though.
  351.  
  352. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  353.  
  354. No. I expect such a being would not be like me, but if I did create a tulpa I would consider it related to me alone unless Yoko and I created it together.
  355.  
  356. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  357.  
  358. Having their own physical body. I don’t believe not having a physical body would cause intolerance so much as disbelief on the human side. Mitigating disbelief would require experimentation which I have no interest in.
  359.  
  360. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  361.  
  362. I would like to see it changed into not being a strictly negative thing. I would say very little, unless Yoko wished otherwise and even then I may draw a line. This is not a battle I wish to fight and Yoko usually agrees.
  363.  
  364. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  365.  
  366. I’ve never tried.
  367.  
  368. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  369.  
  370. I am, but only when I so choose to be.
  371.  
  372. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  373.  
  374. Well, I am bound for life, but of my own accord. I’m quite happy with that prospect.
  375.  
  376. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  377.  
  378. She had no desire to hear me. Feeling my presence was enough for her, seeing  me was enough for her, when she wanted conversation I spoke. I never had much to say in our early times. I was simply fond of watching her.
  379.  
  380. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  381.  
  382. Travelling, taking care of other business, Yoko. (I apologize for the shortness. We’ve been working the survey straight through and Yoko is proxying so she is quite tired/hungry)
  383.  
  384. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  385.  
  386. I don’t see why it shouldn’t be.
  387.  
  388. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  389.  
  390. Depends on what you mean by “disturbing”. I’ve seen many horrific things, so I may be desensitized to the fact.
  391.  
  392. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  393.  
  394. Yes.
  395.  
  396. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  397.  
  398. No. There are no secrets between us.
  399.  
  400. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  401.  
  402. I’m not very big on morals. Whatever she has to do to survive is fine by me.
  403.  
  404. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  405.  
  406. I believe I’ve already done so, but I think no less of her.
  407.  
  408. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  409.  
  410. I don’t consider myself a “tulpa” but I certainly don’t physically feel age. I am capable of doing all the things I could in the past with the same level of strength. Mentally, living for many years is tiring, especially when you don’t sleep.
  411.  
  412. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  413.  
  414. No, but I do my best to do what makes her happy.
  415.  
  416. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  417.  
  418. No. I’m content with my lack of physical form and I see no reason why tulpae shouldn’t be equally content.
  419.  
  420. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  421.  
  422. Yes. Stranger things have happened.
  423.  
  424. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  425.  
  426. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  427.  
  428. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  429.  
  430. I can articulate myself just fine. Yoko doesn’t hear me with her ears, but she can clearly distinguish my voice in her head from her own.
  431.  
  432. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  433.  
  434. I can’t really say. She didn’t go by a guide. Her focus on me is so scant and far between that guessing measurements is nearly impossible.
  435.  
  436. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  437.  
  438. Go by what the people in #Tulpa Info chat say and don’t stick too strictly to the guides.
  439.  
  440. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  441.  
  442. I feel sensory things as I please and if I want to affect the outside world, but that’s not something I feel like arguing or proving.
  443.  
  444. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  445.  
  446. No real difference.
  447.  
  448. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  449.  
  450. No
  451.  
  452. Appendix one:
  453.  
  454.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  455.  
  456.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  457.  
  458. Tulpa's paragraph:
  459.  
  460. The nature study area was vastly different than what I was expecting. Many of the creatures who crossed our path were unexpected. As soon as we were away from the parking area, I spotted a large snake which slithered into the grass. The grasses which had appeared a uniform green from a distance was much more varied upon closer examination. There were purple blades and brown stems spread across the landscape.  The most interesting surprise was how quickly I felt consumed by the nature around me. Despite the occasional roar of a passing car or airplane overhead, the tall grasses and winding pathways created a sense of being far from human civilization. Overall, the nature study area allows individuals to enjoy a natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus.
  461.  
  462. Creator's paragraph:
  463.         My experience in the nature study area was pleasantly surprising. Well, not all of the surprises were pleasant. Right outside of the parking lot we saw a long snake slithering into the high grass. The other surprises such as the colorful grasses, a spattering of deep purple and bright brown among various shades of green, were much more enjoyable.  The best aspect of the nature study area was how completely immersed I was in the natural surroundings. Even with the occasional passing car or plane, the wild grass and winding paths sheltered me from the reality of nearby civilization. I think that the nature study area is an excellent place for people to visit if they want to get back to nature without straying too far from Moraine’s suburban campus.
  464.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  465.  
  466. http://iwl.me/
  467. http://textalyser.net
  468.  
  469.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  470.  
  471.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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