PTFG: No More Black People
Mar 15th, 2015
- >Be white guy
- >You are driving down main street in Gary, Indiana
- >It's the former murder capital of the world
- >Nig nogs everywhere
- >You take a puff from your cigarette and watch as two black kids fight over a deflated basketball
- >The stereo in your car crackles noisly and starts to glow green as the tuner automatically tunes itself
- "What the fuck?!"
- >You almost jump out of your skin when a loud screeching sound is played
- >You look outside, and notice that all traffic has seemed to stop
- >The black people around you are glowing green, but the caucasian and hispanics are not
- "The hell is going on?"
- >You cover your eyes with an arm as a bright green light tears through your window coupled with a large explosion
- >You hear tires screeching along asphalt and shouts of alarm
- "Good thing I locked my doors..."
- >"Yo! Wudda fuck is goin' on!"
- >You uncover your eyes and rub them, trying to remove the after image of the bright green flash
- >The radio finally settles on a station, as a woman's voice starts talking
- >"Citizens of the United States! I am Queen Chrysalis! Your president and I have discovered a solution that benefits everyone! All African Americans are no longer going to be a burden upon your awfully regulated welfare system! You may notice that they appear like a cross between a beetle and a pony.
- >You stare outside as flocks of former blacks scream and fall as they are uncoordinated and unaccustomed to four hooves
- "I must be dreaming."
- >You rub your eyes again
- >"These former African Americans are now Changelings, and they belong to me. They will disappear shortly, but I now have my army to conquer Equestria, and you will be unburdened by worthless members of your society!"
- >The radio tunes back to 79.9 and Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" begins to play
- >You cover your eyes once more as another bright flash surrounds the area around you
- >The screams are gone
- >And so are the Changelings
- >You laugh
- "No more black people!"
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