PTFG: No More Black People

Mar 15th, 2015
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  1. >Be white guy
  2. >You are driving down main street in Gary, Indiana
  3. >It's the former murder capital of the world
  4. >Nig nogs everywhere
  5. >You take a puff from your cigarette and watch as two black kids fight over a deflated basketball
  6. >suchislife.gif
  7. >The stereo in your car crackles noisly and starts to glow green as the tuner automatically tunes itself
  8. "What the fuck?!"
  9. >You almost jump out of your skin when a loud screeching sound is played
  10. >You look outside, and notice that all traffic has seemed to stop
  11. >The black people around you are glowing green, but the caucasian and hispanics are not
  12. "The hell is going on?"
  13. >You cover your eyes with an arm as a bright green light tears through your window coupled with a large explosion
  14. *BOOM*
  15. >You hear tires screeching along asphalt and shouts of alarm
  16. "Good thing I locked my doors..."
  17. >"Yo! Wudda fuck is goin' on!"
  18. >You uncover your eyes and rub them, trying to remove the after image of the bright green flash
  19. >The radio finally settles on a station, as a woman's voice starts talking
  20. >"Citizens of the United States! I am Queen Chrysalis! Your president and I have discovered a solution that benefits everyone! All African Americans are no longer going to be a burden upon your awfully regulated welfare system! You may notice that they appear like a cross between a beetle and a pony.
  21. >You stare outside as flocks of former blacks scream and fall as they are uncoordinated and unaccustomed to four hooves
  22. "I must be dreaming."
  23. >You rub your eyes again
  24. >"These former African Americans are now Changelings, and they belong to me. They will disappear shortly, but I now have my army to conquer Equestria, and you will be unburdened by worthless members of your society!"
  25. >The radio tunes back to 79.9 and Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" begins to play
  26. >You cover your eyes once more as another bright flash surrounds the area around you
  27. >The screams are gone
  28. >And so are the Changelings
  29. >You laugh
  30. "No more black people!"
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