velvet hell | -chaesthetic

-chaesthetic Jun 18th, 2017 40 Never
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  1. ➝ USERNAME::
  2.      → -chaesthetic
  4. ➝ SLOT::
  5.      → bipolar disorder
  7. ➝ GENDER::
  8.      → male
  10. ➝ NAME::
  11.      → lee jibin
  13. ➝ NICKNAME::
  14.      → none
  16. ➝ AGE::
  17.      → nineteen (december 28, 1997)
  20.      → korean
  22. ➝ RELATIONS::
  23.     → lee jihee   | sister | twenty-five | +82 45 2263 7926
  24.       park jisook | mother | forty-eight | deceased
  25.       lee yohan   | father | forty-nine  | in prison
  27. ➝ BACKGROUND::
  28.      → jibin's mother had the same disorder as her son, causing him to get neglected in her depressive episodes, this led to a lack of
  29.        warmth in his infancy. his father was addicted to alcohol and abused jibin and her sister jihee since they were little; at first
  30.        the abuse was physically only but when jibin was about twelve years old, he started to sexually abuse his son. jibin of course
  31.        wasn't able to process those traumatic events very well and started to isolate himself. he only ate and drank when it was
  32.        absolutely neccessary and he cut most of his social relations, only kept two or three very good friends. even though his mother
  33.        didn't always care for him, jibin knew she was sick and loved her anyways. jisook died when jibin was fifteen; she suffered from
  34.        the aftereffects of the abuse her husband did to her. after her death, jibin got aggressive; he screamed a lot in school and was
  35.        admonished often as he also hurt himself with a pair of scissors on several occasions. one time while he was fighting with his
  36.        friends, he lost all his temper and attacked them with a pair of scissors. one of his friends is still in coma while the others
  37.        received treatment and are fine again. jibin didn't even visit them once, it was like he didn't care at all about his own
  38.        friends fate. this incident caused him to get dropped out of school. after jisooks dead, jibin also got
  39.        his first depressive episode during which his sister tried to cheer him up and was happy at first when he got his first manic
  40.        episode, thinking that he was finally feeling better. however when she noticed her brother was acting exactly the same as her
  41.        bipolar mother, she knew she had to do something about it; she tried to comfort him and care for him, but he threw things at
  42.        her, insulted her and even tried to attack her with a knife. jihee described it was 'as if he didn't even know who i was
  43.        anymore'. this is why he sent him to the mental health hospital. jibin tried to commit suicide on his eighteenth birthday
  44.        because he was in a depressive episode and got extremely sad because no one wished him happy birthday, causing him to drown in
  45.        self-pity.
  48.      → of course he's quite MOODY; he has always been like that, it only escalated when he developed his disorder. there are episodes
  49.        where he's fully aware and concious; neither depressed nor manic where he is a very COLD guy that seems to have NO EMOTIONS.
  50.        however when he's in a depressive episode he DOESN'T LISTEN to anyone and is questioning the sense of life. he CRIES A LOT
  51.        during the depressive episodes and barely eats or drinks. he SLEEPS THE WHOLE DAY and wouldn't get up from his bed. if someone
  52.        wants to talk to him during those episodes, he will SNAP at them and even ask them to go away. he also loves to PITY HIMSELF
  53.        during depressive episodes, telling himself that no one loves him. he seems to be TRAUMATIZED during those episodes due to his
  54.        past and stares at the wall for the most of time being. if you tear him out of his save shell, the bed, he can get very angry
  55.        and HURT ANYONE, no matter who they are - even friends or family.
  57.        in his manic episodes, however, he's the complete opposite. he's CHEERFUL, LOUD and running around everywhere. he tries do do at
  58.        least three things at a time, feeling CAPABLE of everything. he LAUGHS a lot and seems to be HYPER, talking about things he
  59.        likes even though the people aren't even listing; he DOESN'T NOTICE. he can BARELY SLEEP during manic periods and always
  60.        convinces people to stay awake with him. he also has a lot of CRAZY IDEAS which he REALIZES without thinking what might go
  61.        wrong. he BARELY CRIES. but be aware, even in his manic episodes he's quite MANIPULATIVE and tells a lot of lies; if he tells
  62.        you that he likes you, he's probably LYING because he sees a benefit in this.
  64.        apart from his episodes, he's a DISTRUSTFUL person due to the things that one of his closest relative did to him in the past. he
  65.        believes social relationships are either symbiosis or parasitism; one or both parties of the relationship benefits. he believes
  66.        there are no such things as love and friendship because at the end, everyone is alone. he's quite SELFISH and prefers
  67.        parasitism-relationships with him being the parasite; benefiting from another human that is suffering.
  69. ➝ LIKES::
  70.      → music, stormy weather, blood, wine, fire
  72. ➝ DISLIKES::
  73.      → sweets, heights, most people, crowds, answering questions about himself, k-pop (that's not music to him)
  75. ➝ HABITS::
  76.      → scratching himself ㅡ he does that as it's a form of self harm he can do even without any weapons around
  77.      → biting his nails ㅡ he does it in a way where he not just bites his nails but also the skin around his nails which can be
  78.        considered as a very light form of auto-cannibalism because even biting nails is already
  79.      → talking to himself ㅡ he does that in his depressive episodes a lot; it helps him to drown in self-pity
  81. ➝ TRIVIA::
  82.      → once acidentally coloured three white towels cherry pink while dying his hair during a manic episode.
  83.      → is responsible for the scar next to his eye; did that to himself when he was about seventeen.
  84.      → loves music and can play the guitar; originally wanted to be a singer but ended up in the mental health hospital instead.
  87.      → nct's taeyong (i wasn't gonna pick him because you used him for the slot but he just fits the slot lmao)
  88.      → backup:: jyj's jaejoong (even though he's a little old lmao)
  91.      → the delusional
  92.      → backup:: paranoid disorder
  95.      → THE DELUSIONAL and jibin aren't exactly what you would call close. he just makes an advantage out of her being tricked easily.
  96.        she's like the host of the parasite that he likes to be; he uses her to get what he wants. he enjoys talking to her during his
  97.        manic episodes though because he's the only one that really listens to what he tells her due to her being talkactive as well.
  98.        when she's trying to approach him during depressive episodes he will hurt her like he does with everyone else. she's nothing
  99.        special to him at first but maybe that could change later on?
  101. ➝ PASSWORD::
  102.      → happy
  104. ➝ NOTE TO AUTHOR::
  105.      → ummm, hi, this af seems to be lit af and you seem to be a cool person, maybe we could be friends? lmao i'm so desperate.
  107. ➝ OTHER::
  108.      → welp i hope i get accepted and everything is correct, i know someone with bipolar disorder and this is what i based my form off
  109.        and also on some research!
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