Sehnsucht

	Sehnsuct is a German word I just learned of after researching a mysterious state of mind I sometimes find myself in. Multiple sources online state a few of the possible translations, comparing it to the words “longing”, “pining”, “yearning”, and including others. Nostalgia also appears as a synonym, however, I believe it to be slightly different. The definition, “A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.” causes me to think of things that I am familiar with. A mug, filled with chopped hard-boiled egg and toasted bread cut into small pieces, served by my mother or grand-mother during sick days as a child. For some reason, Pokemon The Movie 2000 is a movie that even the mention of will thrust me back in time to a particular night staying up a bit later than usual with the VHS.
	Sehnsuct is similar, being defined as, “yearning; wistful longing.” however, I believe it to have a particular subtle difference that is both important and slightly baffling to me. It doesn't specifically mention a personal connection to the feeling. Nostalgia presupposes that the subject is something that I have a personal and potentially local connection to. The meal and the movie I stated previously are specific moments in time that happened to me as a child. A moment of sehnsuct can involve a subject or event that I have never personally experienced.
	Now to introduce the catalyst to this chemical reaction in my brain. Not too long ago, my father recommended a Netflix series to me, called Midnight Diner: Tokyo Stories. It is what I would call a “slice-of-life” series in which it follows a particular diner and it's Master (owner and chef) in Tokyo, Japan that is open from midnight to 7:00 AM. The diner only has a few items on its menu, however, the owner and chef, known only as the Master, will make any dish that is requested of him, as long as he has the ingredients. Due to the hours of the restaurant, this bring a myriad of characters with interesting lives or backstories. Each episode is focused on 1 or 2 new characters and their plights. The situations range from simple relationship troubles to illegal activities.
	Suffice to say, I thoroughly enjoyed every episode of both of its seasons, and would highly recommend it. After watching, I am left with a mysterious, yet warm and pleasant feeling that I could not place until recently. I could only describe it as a feeling of nostalgia, but for an experience or place that I have never personally known.
	It's arguable that my teenage and adult life has been filled with Japanese influence, having read somewhere in the range of 400-500 manga, and watched around 80-90 anime of varying genres. Not only that, a lot of online content that I consume also hails from the east. Streamers, Youtubers, podcasts, video games, and documentaries are but a small list of the different forms of media that I actively seek out, with either a Japanese person creating the content, or perhaps a foreigner living in Japan. This begs the question; to what degree is one “experiencing” a person, place, or thing through the lens of social media or the internet? My fascination with Japanese culture and media began in the very same way that I found Midnight Diner. While growing up, I would see my father watching more popular localized anime like Cowboy Bebop or Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. My earliest memory of a “scary” movie was staying up late and watching Akira with dad, even after he warned me of its eerie nature. Would my overall accumulation of Japanese content and culture somehow attribute to this feeling of nostalgia that I might feel after watching Midnight Diner? Perhaps, and I looked towards sehnsuct for more insight.
	Within its psychological roots, the term Sehnsuct can be linked to a lifelong quest for optimization of our lives. An article by Susanne Scheibe, a professor at The University of Groningen in the Netherlands says the following about the term: “To that end, experiences of Sehnsucht may operate as imagined realizations of psychological utopias.” As we all know, its impossible to live “perfectly”, due to the term's subjective nature. If living perfectly meant anything, I think it would refer to accomplishing one's goals in a matter of time that one thinks is appropriate. I know I am not alone when I think about not graduating college, or staying within my fitness goals. These goals that I set for myself have the potential to both motivate, and demoralize me. Setting goals can inspire people to look towards the future and have a clear picture of what they wish to accomplish. But failing to reach these goals, or completing them in a longer time than originally planned can bring forward feelings of failure. Ultimately it's my own perceived notion of success and failure that can change on a case-by-case basis. It's amazing what the brain can do.
	I think that reading a few articles and talking it out a bit has helped me understand better how I was feeling and why it may be the case. I think I could go more in-depth on humans and how they experience things, but this was already way too long. If anyone got this far thanks for reading, I know it must have been rough this was one big rambling word waterfall. I wanted to post it instead of letting it sit on my hard drive next to all the other random thoughts I have written out.


Link to the article I mentioned above:
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Susanne_Scheibe/publication/6346000_Toward_a_developmental_psychology_of_Sehnsucht_life_longings_The_optimal_utopian_life/links/09e4150ea850198ef2000000/Toward-a-developmental-psychology-of-Sehnsucht-life-longings-The-optimal-utopian-life.pdf