PrincessEraclea

toastyboasty fake

Feb 26th, 2015
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  1. [3:36:45 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Hey Era...
  2. [3:38:01 AM] Eraclea: Hey toast
  3. [3:38:04 AM] Eraclea: What's up?
  4. [3:38:06 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I thought I should tell you
  5. [3:38:09 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I just found out
  6. [3:38:12 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: About 1/2 an hour ago
  7. [3:38:24 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Sometime in the last 48-72 hours
  8. [3:38:32 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: My mother passed away
  9. [3:38:39 AM] Eraclea: Wait....
  10. [3:38:40 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: At the age of 54
  11. [3:38:43 AM] Eraclea: Seriously?
  12. [3:38:46 AM] Eraclea: holy shit...
  13. [3:38:47 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Yep
  14. [3:38:49 AM] Eraclea: dude, I'm sorry
  15. [3:39:05 AM] Eraclea: I know you weren't that close with her...
  16. [3:39:10 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I was
  17. [3:39:11 AM] Eraclea: but I know that it must hurt, I'm sorry
  18. [3:39:14 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I was really close
  19. [3:39:16 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: It hurt
  20. [3:39:17 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Alot
  21. [3:39:19 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: still does
  22. [3:39:25 AM] Eraclea: Oh wait, fuck, never mind, someone else hates their mom
  23. [3:39:29 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: No
  24. [3:39:31 AM] Eraclea: But holy shit, I'm so sorry
  25. [3:39:31 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I hated my mom
  26. [3:39:41 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I hated her Bipolar personality
  27. [3:39:43 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I love the person
  28. [3:40:00 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Illness \=\ Person
  29. [3:40:30 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I miss her though
  30. [3:40:46 AM] Eraclea: I've never lost anyone, so maybe I'm not the best person to talk to
  31. [3:40:53 AM | Edited 3:40:55 AM] Eraclea: but I still will do my best to help you however I can
  32. [3:41:10 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: ye
  33. [3:41:31 AM] Eraclea: *is* there anything that I can do?
  34. [3:41:56 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I need a hug
  35. [3:42:00 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: and some sleep
  36. [3:42:11 AM] Eraclea: Eraclea hugs you
  37. [3:42:16 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: c:
  38. [3:42:16 AM] Eraclea: sleep now... listen to some nice music
  39. [3:42:26 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Luna Radio
  40. [3:42:27 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Suprisingly
  41. [3:42:30 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Has some good music
  42. [3:42:48 AM] Eraclea: not surprising, really
  43. [3:43:06 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Like
  44. [3:43:08 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Really good
  45. [3:43:13 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Also my tummy hurts
  46. [3:43:17 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: and my wrist does
  47. [3:44:14 AM] Eraclea: No cutting, please
  48. [3:44:16 AM] Eraclea: don't.
  49. [3:44:19 AM] Eraclea: It doesn't help
  50. [3:44:54 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: It makes me feel better
  51. [3:45:15 AM] Eraclea: it hurts you
  52. [3:45:25 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Maybe I deserve it
  53. [3:45:31 AM] Eraclea: I cannot understand how you cutting yourself makes you feel better
  54. [3:45:38 AM] Eraclea: it's just a cry for attention
  55. [3:45:44 AM] Eraclea: I am trying to be understanding
  56. [3:45:48 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Simple
  57. [3:45:49 AM] Eraclea: but please, stop that
  58. [3:45:52 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Have you studied anatomy?
  59. [3:45:54 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: or biology?
  60. [3:46:10 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: When cutting it release an adrenaline and endorphin rush
  61. [3:46:49 AM] Eraclea: Yes, I have
  62. [3:46:55 AM] Eraclea: It puts you in a stress mode
  63. [3:47:02 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Era
  64. [3:47:08 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I'm always in a stress mode
  65. [3:47:17 AM] Eraclea: I mean a physical danger stress mode
  66. [3:47:21 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Mhmm
  67. [3:47:24 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I have extreme paranoia
  68. [3:47:25 AM] Eraclea: yes, it does release adrenaline
  69. [3:47:29 AM] Eraclea: but is it worth it?
  70. [3:47:32 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Yep
  71. [3:47:35 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: For now at least
  72. [3:47:57 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I feel like shit
  73. [3:48:04 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Would you rather slits on my wrist
  74. [3:48:08 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: or possible suicide
  75. [3:48:20 AM] Eraclea: How about neither
  76. [3:48:24 AM] Eraclea: go for a walk or something
  77. [3:48:29 AM] Eraclea: there are things you can do that might help
  78. [3:48:30 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: AT 12
  79. [3:48:33 AM] Eraclea: but not this
  80. [3:48:39 AM] Eraclea: Yeah, at 12!
  81. [3:48:43 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Era there are gangs here
  82. [3:48:46 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: sono
  83. [3:48:48 AM] Eraclea: If you want adrenaline, go for a walk!
  84. [3:48:59 AM] Eraclea: You want fear and stress? Go out there
  85. [3:49:03 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: If I'm going to die it's not because I get shot up
  86. [3:49:32 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Also it's too much effort
  87. [3:49:40 AM] Eraclea: >too much effort
  88. [3:49:52 AM] Eraclea: You would *literally* rather cut yourself open and bleed
  89. [3:49:59 AM] Eraclea: than walk a mile or so
  90. [3:50:02 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: It's easier
  91. [3:50:32 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: If you felt like I did
  92. [3:50:41 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I'd hope you'd somewhat understand
  93. [3:50:52 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: It's so hard, I barely can get out of bed
  94. [3:51:03 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I used to go into a coma like state
  95. [3:51:07 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Catatonic
  96. [3:51:29 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I still do on the occasion
  97. [3:51:32 AM] Eraclea: You're expecting me to buy that you were catanonic?
  98. [3:51:34 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: No
  99. [3:51:44 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I expect you to understand that, it felt like I was
  100. [3:51:52 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: No matter how much I told my brain to move
  101. [3:51:56 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: It just wouldn't do it
  102. [3:52:05 AM] Eraclea: literally everyone does that
  103. [3:52:10 AM] Eraclea: literally everyone
  104. [3:52:15 AM] Eraclea: it's called sleep paralysis
  105. [3:52:19 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Really everyday for hours?
  106. [3:52:33 AM] Eraclea: no, but it's a known phenomenon
  107. [3:52:35 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Hours Era
  108. [3:52:38 AM] Eraclea: that anyone can induce
  109. [3:52:42 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Hours
  110. [3:52:51 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I was able to move my body
  111. [3:52:56 AM] Eraclea: okay, jesus, did you want me to help you with your mom, or did you want to complain to me about how bad your life is?
  112. [3:52:57 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Just not the way I wanted to
  113. [3:53:17 AM] Eraclea: Because I'm not going to sit here and listen to you whine about things that aren't related to your loss
  114. [3:53:22 AM] Eraclea: I'm sorry you lost your mom
  115. [3:53:25 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: You're right.
  116. [3:53:26 AM] Eraclea: nothing can change that
  117. [3:53:31 AM] Eraclea: but stop being emo and hurting yourself
  118. [3:53:39 AM] Eraclea: there is literally nothing productive about that
  119. [3:53:48 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: It's not that easy
  120. [3:53:58 AM] Eraclea: cuts leave visible scars, and that's why they're cries for attention
  121. [3:54:14 AM] Eraclea: otherwise you'd be just as happy hitting your thigh with a hammer and taking pain that way
  122. [3:54:22 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Maybe I do
  123. [3:54:30 AM] Eraclea: so you are literally just trying to justify something that is just a cry for attention
  124. [3:54:54 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Maybe I throw myself against a wall, scratch at myself until I bleed and force myself to not eat for days
  125. [3:55:09 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Maybe I try to hurt myself in more than just one way
  126. [3:55:13 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: But it doesn't matter
  127. [3:55:23 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: The problem at hand is pointless to argue about
  128. [3:55:33 AM] Eraclea: if that's the case then you are not mentally healthy, and you need to see a psychiatrist because you are clearly a danger to yourself and possibly others
  129. [3:55:55 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Others?
  130. [3:55:56 AM] Eraclea: perhaps you need to be committed.
  131. [3:56:04 AM] Eraclea: I said possibly.
  132. [3:56:18 AM] Eraclea: I can't know your situation, but what you're describing sounds a lot like reckless nihilism
  133. [3:56:22 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I would never hurt another human being
  134. [3:56:26 AM] Eraclea: the sort that might lead to a school shooting or something
  135. [3:56:31 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Never
  136. [3:56:39 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I'm horrified by death
  137. [3:56:48 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I could never intentionally take another life
  138. [3:57:19 AM] Eraclea: well, that's comforting, but still, the fact that your recklessly self-harm and self-endanger is really alarming
  139. [3:57:34 AM] Eraclea: the fact that you want to punish yourself and actually go through with it in this way is concerning
  140. [3:57:49 AM | Edited 3:58:01 AM] Eraclea: but since we haven't said a single thing about your mother, I can only assuming that, too, is a cry for attention
  141. [3:58:08 AM] Eraclea: Listen, don't bullshit a bullshitter
  142. [3:58:15 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I love my mother, I would never misconstrue her death in such a disrespectful manner
  143. [3:58:33 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I would sooner die then use the death of another being to my advantage
  144. [3:58:56 AM] Eraclea: What I'm doubting is that you would do that...
  145. [3:59:02 AM] Eraclea: I'm doubting anyone died at all
  146. [3:59:10 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: FUCK YOU
  147. [3:59:22 AM] Eraclea: Because you seem to use that as an excuse to open up a conversation on your self-harm
  148. [3:59:31 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF
  149. [3:59:34 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: OK?
  150. [3:59:34 AM] Eraclea: further, you just brought it up out of the blue
  151. [3:59:42 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: just stop
  152. [3:59:43 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: please
  153. [4:00:08 AM] Eraclea: Look, sorry if you're telling the truth, but until you can provide some proof, I'm going to have to assume you're just an emotional kid looking for some attention
  154. [4:00:16 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: what proof
  155. [4:00:19 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: my mothers body
  156. [4:00:36 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I just learned that she died about an hour ago
  157. [4:01:02 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: If you want to believe that my mothers not dead
  158. [4:01:05 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: go ahead
  159. [4:01:11 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I thought the same thing at first
  160. [4:01:16 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I wanted it to be a cruel joke
  161. [4:01:38 AM] Eraclea: Actually, you've been talking to Inkie for 3 hours about it
  162. [4:01:46 AM] Eraclea: So, please, get your story straight
  163. [4:02:04 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: 10pm
  164. [4:02:06 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: That's when
  165. [4:02:24 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: At least that's what they told me
  166. [4:02:44 AM] Eraclea: Look, come back to me tomorrow with some proof or something
  167. [4:02:48 AM] Eraclea: We can talk then
  168. [4:02:50 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Like what?
  169. [4:02:57 AM] Eraclea: Until then, I don't want to sacrifice our relationship
  170. [4:03:04 AM] Eraclea: Find an obituary
  171. [4:03:06 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: It's already dead
  172. [4:03:14 AM] Eraclea: send me the site on the news, or the newspaper
  173. [4:03:14 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Just stop talking please
  174. [4:03:29 AM] Eraclea: and then snap a pic of your ID so I know its actually your mother that died
  175. [4:03:29 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: It hurts me enough as it is, I'd rather not discuss it further
  176. [4:03:34 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I don't have an ID
  177. [4:04:07 AM] Eraclea: No permit, no driver's lisence, no ssn card?
  178. [4:04:09 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I could tell your her full name, her birthdate, her facebook anything
  179. [4:04:10 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: None
  180. [4:04:41 AM] Eraclea: Well, until I see some proof, I'm not going to be hoodwinked
  181. [4:04:45 AM] Eraclea: figure something out.
  182. [4:04:48 AM] Eraclea: I'll be waiting
  183. [4:05:04 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: You're a sick fuck you know that
  184. [4:05:29 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I don't care what kind of situation you were put in to distrust like that
  185. [4:06:02 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: This is just rude
  186. [4:06:13 AM] Eraclea: Well, you're still talking to me.
  187. [4:06:33 AM] Eraclea: So I can only assume that you were desperate for attention
  188. [4:06:48 AM] Eraclea: Because otherwise you'd have left for safer harbor
  189. [4:07:03 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I don't have that many people to talk to.
  190. [4:08:20 AM] Eraclea: Chocolate chip is right down the street
  191. [4:08:28 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: No
  192. [4:08:33 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I learned that the last date
  193. [4:08:41 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: He's close
  194. [4:08:56 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: but a 20-40 minute walk
  195. [4:09:20 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: and besides
  196. [4:09:36 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: actually nvm
  197. [4:09:43 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I'm not gonna bring it up
  198. [4:09:48 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Anyhow
  199. [4:09:56 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I wish I could produce you some kind of evidence
  200. [4:10:18 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Death certificate, My mom's dead corpse, A video of me crying
  201. [4:10:44 AM] Eraclea: last one wouldn't convince me, actually
  202. [4:10:53 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: Thanks buddy!
  203. [4:11:00 AM] Eraclea: talk to vclaw
  204. [4:11:03 AM] Eraclea: he'll explain why
  205. [4:11:23 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: nah
  206. [4:11:23 AM] Eraclea: listen, back before you showed up
  207. [4:11:24 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I'm good
  208. [4:11:27 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: No
  209. [4:11:36 AM] Eraclea: there was a user who pretended to have ALS
  210. [4:11:44 AM] Eraclea: they pretended they were dying
  211. [4:11:48 AM] Eraclea: for attention, more or less
  212. [4:11:54 AM] Eraclea: everyone got very very concerned
  213. [4:12:07 AM] Eraclea: and nobody has forgiven him yet, so much so that he left
  214. [4:12:18 AM] Eraclea: so forgive me if I'm a little wary
  215. [4:12:25 AM] Eraclea: he was really popular and everyone liked him
  216. [4:12:32 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: No I won't, this is hard enough as it is I'm sorry
  217. [4:12:43 AM] Eraclea: so it hurt a lot when he came clean about his lie
  218. [4:13:43 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I'm sorry Era that you were lied to
  219. [4:13:56 AM] Eraclea: The whole IRC was
  220. [4:14:02 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: I'm sorry
  221. [4:14:03 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: But
  222. [4:14:15 AM] ADistinctLackOfToast: You shouldn't distrust everyone just because of one person
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