Go To Bed! Part 2

Hey, do you think they -- yea you're asleep. I told you to just go to bed, but no~ [mockingly/eyerolls] "I can do it! I can stay awake! You can still come over! -- [said quickly as if shy] Only if you want to though." -- "Baka" -- You'd never admit it, but you just wanted to spend more time with me, didn’t you? Yea, you're a tsundere at heart.

*sigh* Let's get you to bed so your neck isn't screwed up in the morning. One, two, three [stressed as if you’re about to lift a heavy object] [surprised at how easy it is] Oh wow you are so much lighter than I thought you'd be. And you look so much smaller curled into a ball, too. [affectionately] Like a sleepy lil' kitten. Okay, let's get you to bed.

[goes to bedroom]

[you place neko down] And there you go~, pull the covers and~ -- what are you reaching for? Aw, are you reaching for me? I wonder~ -- if I leave...

[*makes angry/upset mewling sound*]

*gasp* What was that sound!? I thought only kittens mewled like that! Well, I can't leave you now, not after such an adorable protest! *gets into bed*.

[*Neko grabs and pulls you in, happy purrs once they’re wrapped up with you*]

Hey! hey! [like comforting a small child] I'm here, I'm here, *shushes* Jeez, you're so clingy. Well, at least now you're being honest. No "I'm just cold" when you cuddle up to me -- and it's at least 30 degrees outside. *sigh* I'll never understand why you don't just ask me.

[*begins kneading shirt*]

OW! Hey! What are you clawing me for? *gasp/squee* [rising tone] Wait, -- are you making biscuits?

[excitedly] You are~! I knew I saw you kneading that blanket a few days ago! [a bit too loud, you wake up listener, sing-song voice] Ohhh, I’m never going to let you live this down!

[*wakes up from noise*]

Oh no, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry.

[“Why am I in bed?”]

Well, -- you are in bed because someone fell asleep, despite insisting that they can stay awake and I should still come over for Netflix roulette. Well -- since we both know that is absolutely not true, -- do you want me to leave so you can sleep? [said in a way like you know the answer is “No, please stay, I want to cuddle with you”, but also know that you’re gonna be met with resistance. Sort of like goading?]

[*wants to ask you to stay but can’t*]

Well? You clearly want to say something, what is it?

[*awkwardly avoiding eye contact*]

*sigh* Come here.

[“I’m fine” *pulls back away*]

No, you aren't fine. Get your ass over here.

[*stays still*]

Now. -- Thank you.

*long pause*

I know for a fact you want me to stay. I also know you don't want to ask me. No idea why~, but something tells me it's the same reason why you don't ask me for affection, you just drop very not subtle hints…  So what's going on? You obviously love physical affection; you’re always so eager whenever I initiate it, but, why don’t you?

[“I don’t want to bother you.”]

How would it be a bother? I’m your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner; it’s my job to give you attention, just like it's your job to give me attention. Which, I'd like to add, you do a wonderful job of.

You're always so eager to comfort me when I have a bad day, when I need someone to listen, when I really need a hug. -- You have so much love for everyone; you do so much for your students, for people you tutor, for people you barely even know, but… *solemnly* Sometimes, I feel like you have no love left for yourself.

[“I sometimes try to reach out, but I get scared that you’ll reject me.”]

I wouldn't reject you if you asked me to cuddle. If I didn't want to or was too busy, or whatever, I'd tell you; but I wouldn't reject you. That's cruel.

 I know you're sensitive, and… I care about how you feel. If I didn't, I would have left you sleeping on the couch. I wouldn't be holding you right now; [faster] hell, I wouldn't have asked you out in the first place. I care so much about you, I never want to hurt you like that.

[long pause]

I want to know what you're feeling, especially if they're not good feelings. Letting me know that you need attention won't bother me; what bothers me is that by the time I realize you need attention, you've needed it for a very long time. It hurts seeing you so upset.

So, I'd like you to work on that. I want you to ask me when you need something, whether it be hugs, scritches, someone to listen to, or for me to just lay down and hold you for a while. I want you to let me know. I know it's hard and it makes you anxious, so I'm not going to ask you to be perfect right away, but just work on it for me, ok?

[“I’ve mostly gotten over the thinking I don’t deserve love, but…]

But what?

[“it’s embarrassing to ask”]

It's embarrassing? [Super dramatic teasing] Well, just so you know, I think it's absolutely adorable when you're embarrassed. Your cheeks get all red~, you try to hide your face~, [realize the listener is getting embarrassed; smugly] like how right now you're burying your face into my chest~. You know, you're not hiding anything; your face is incredibly hot -- [cheeky] in more ways than one~.

[*embarrassed noises*]

[more teasing] Aw, am I making it worse? Gosh, a little bit of teasing, and you just completely melt! You really are a shy one, aren't you?

[“I hate it so much”]

You hate being shy? But it’s soooo cute!

[“It’s frustrating!”]

[you attempt to backpedal + give more confidence to listener] Hey, you're not shy all the time, I've seen you give presentations. Comb your hair, brush out all the knots in your fur, stick you in a nice suit, and damn! You become a manly man, so confident, like, you could stare down a mirror.

Professors ask you questions and you respond as if it’s such a trivial answer, one you understand so well; even though I know that you’re shaking on the inside. Which is kind of impressive. You’re able to conquer your shyness academically, so, what’s the harm in letting yourself be vulnerable with me?

I know you want to be strong, but, you don’t have to be strong all the time. I know you’ve had to be for a while now, and it’ll definitely be a challenge to allow yourself to loosen up, but, I want you to know you’re safe with me, ok? I want you to be your shy, goofy, adorable self. The Neko who chases birds into trees, the one who loves fluffy blankets, the one who kicked a Roomba across the room because he thought it was a monster.

[“It bit me!”]

It did not bite you, shush. Anyway, I just want you to be you, you know? I like that side of you. If you were strong and stoic all the time, one, it’d be exhausting, and two, it wouldn’t be half as fun to tease you. My shy, quiet boyfriend with an enormous love for pets. [pats head]

[*pushes into your hand, headbutts for pets*]

[like talking to a child/sweetly] You're headbutting me aga~in. Come on~, let's try using our words this time.

["You already know what I want, though..."]

Oh, I know exact~ly what you want, [smugly] I just want to hear you say it.

[*embarrassed silence*]

Come on~ you can do it~.

[“What should I say?”]

What should you say? Hmmm, how about, [sarcastic kawaii voice] "Could you please pet my soft, fluffy Neko ears?".

[Quietly + shyly repeats word for word]

Oh my gosh, I didn't think you'd actually say it! [amused + happy] Aww, you're turning red again!

[*attempts to hide face*]

[very quickly] No, no, no, don't hide your face! Come on, Look at me... look at me~! You're so sweet, you know that? I will never get tired of seeing you blush like this.

[“Can I get my pets now?”]

Yes, yes, your pets. Gosh, so~ nee~dy.

[frowny/whiny]

I'm kidding, shhh. I like it when you're needy. It makes me happy seeing you smile, hearing you purr, watching you nuzzle into me.

[*getting excited, more twitchy*]

Heyy, stop squirming! Pets are supposed to calm you down, not rile you up.  Gosh, you’re an excitable little guy, aren’t you?

[*bites hand*]

Ey! No biting!

No, I'm not going to give you rough scritchies right now, you need to sleep.

[*frowns loudly*]

Ohw, I know, I'm soooo mean. How could I punish such a good lil’ kitten? Would it be better if I didn’t pet you at all? Yea, I thought so; now shhhhh. It’s quiet time now.

Oh, you’re not tired? [mockingly] “I’m not tired,” he says with a big yawn. Come on, you literally fell asleep on the couch.

[“But I’m not tired now”]

Well, too bad. I’m here now, and I say that you are going to bed.

[“but-”]

I’m serious; I will pin you down and force you to go to sleep. So, do I have to do that, or are you going to listen to me like a good boy? Good choice. That’s it, curl up against me; softly, nuzzle yourself into my chest. You can knead my shirt if that will help you calm down.

[*how do you know--*]

Oh, I know you do that. You did it in your sleep when I carried you to bed. Just one more thing I get to tease you about~. It’s ok, though. Right now, we’re just trying to get you some rest. Just, try not to claw my skin too much, okay? There you go, nice and gentle; just like a good boy. Shhhhh, no talking. Just some nice, calm headpats for my sleepy, sleepy kitten.

How about this, tomorrow, when we get up, we can stay in bed for a while and I’ll give you all the ear scritches you want. Does that sound good? Alright, goodnight my lil’ fluffball.