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Chapter 5

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Oct 24th, 2016
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  1. After you had heard those words, a lump had formed in your throat and tears unexpectedly started to fill your eyes. Without saying anything, Joshua had hugged you, squeezing you tight. You let your arms awkwardly hang at your sides for a second, before wrapping them around his back even tighter. The now slightly colder breeze blowing through your hair made you shudder. He tried saying something, anything to make this situation sound easier, but he wasn’t able to. So the both of you just sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity, not letting go as you were desperate to cling onto each other. You eventually said your very unwanted goodnights. Before turning to walk back home, he promised to see you first thing in the morning, even though his ticket had already been booked by his manager. “I won’t leave without saying goodbye, Y/N, I won’t,” he said. [A/N: I find this part a little fast paced and cheesy but I don’t know what to do with it Q_Q]
  2.  
  3. —————————
  4.  
  5. It was around 4am when you stood in your room, in front of your easel, still wearing your pretty pink dress. No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t fall asleep. Joshua’s kiss was fresh on your lips along with the thoughts of what had happened a couple of hours ago. Trying to remember every little detail about him and hold on to it, you started painting. You weren’t sure what exactly you were going to paint, but every stroke of your brush was like a stroke of an emotion. As you painted, you thought of all the doubts you had, all the times you hesitated, pushed yourself away from him and about how stupid you were to just slip up like that. That inner battle with yourself felt never-ending. It’s over, stupid. He’s gone, a little voice kept whispering, but there was another voice, this one much stronger. It screamed…I can’t let him go just like that.
  6.  
  7. —————————
  8.  
  9. The sun was already rising. You hadn’t realized that, until a beam of light hit your face, making you squint. Your dress was stained with a bunch of different colors, but you didn’t care. All you could think of was the painting that, after endless brush strokes, had appeared in front of you. It was Joshua, with his guitar in his hands. Just as you had remembered him, sitting on his granny’s porch swing. The sudden buzz of the alarm woke you up from your trance. “Crap! His flight!” you gasped. Grabbing the fresh painting and slipping on the first pair of slippers you could find, you ran out to Granny Hong’s.
  10.  
  11. “Joshua! Josh!” you called out, almost bursting through the front door, which to your surprise was locked. “Granny Hong, are you there?” you called out once again, knocking desperately on the door. A sudden click made you stumble back and a wide eyed Granny Hong appeared in the door way. She stared at you in shock, noticing the paint-stained dress, funny slippers and the slowly drying painting of her grandson in your hand.
  12. “Y/N…” she started hesitantly, “the flight was pushed up an hour, darling. One of his manager’s came to pick him up. He-” she stopped, a saddened expression on her face, “He wanted to say goodbye, but they just wouldn’t let him.”
  13.  
  14. You’re done, it’s over, over… That voice whispered once again, this time louder. Your face went blank in shock as you dropped your head to your feet, the familiar tears gleaming in your eyes again. You couldn’t say a word, you didn’t know what to say. Just as you were about to give up, you heard granny’s voice again, “Well, what are you waiting for, dear?!”
  15. Your head darted back up in confusion, “I-I-…I don’t know. There’s no way i’ll reach him before the flight leaves.”
  16.  
  17. “If you really want to reach him, you’ll reach him,” she said, handing you the keys to their car.
  18.  
  19. ——————————
  20.  
  21. There’s no time left, no time, no time… Your thoughts ran all over the place as you parked the car at the nearest entrance. Pushing them away, you snatched the painting and practically stumbled into the airport. You were made aware that your dress code was far from acceptable, as the staff were turning heads in your direction. Gasping for breath, your eyes darted back and forth, you looked for anything that could tell you where Joshua went. You didn’t know the flight number, so you just ran up to the front desk, startling the lady, “Excuse me, miss! When’s the next flight to Seoul?”
  22.  
  23. With wide eyes, she replied, “It’s in 10 minutes,” she pointed towards gate number 3, “that way.” Nodding your thanks to her, you darted towards the gate, praying that’d you’d make it in time. As you made your way towards the big number 3 hanging on the wall, you saw him. He had already passed customs, dragging his suitcase and slowly making his way deeper into the airport. A woman, who must have been his manager was walking behind him. They were a good distance from you. Focusing your gaze on him, you picked up a pace and out of nowhere strong arms had grabbed you by the elbow.
  24.  
  25. “Hey! What do you think you’re-,” snapping your gaze backwards you realized it was a security guard.
  26. “Your ticket, miss,” he asked sternly, extending his hand. You stood there gaping at him, not knowing what to say. His sharp voice sounded again, “Miss, do you have a ticket? You know you cannot pass without one?”
  27. “Please,” you sighed, “I just need to give this to someone,” raising the painting to show him.
  28. He didn’t even flinch, his expression stone cold the entire time, “I’m sorry but I cannot let you pass without a flight ticket.” He had positioned himself in front of you as if he was wall and crossed his arms.
  29.  
  30. This time you begged, “Sir, please…You don’t understand…” Your eyes darted back and forth between Joshua’s distanced figure and the security guard.
  31. You noticed the distance between Joshua and you becoming greater and you heard yourself scream, “Joshua! Joshua! Josh-“ the guard was suddenly pulling you away, but you wouldn’t stop, “Josh…Sir, please! I need to say goodbye! Just—Please!” But it was too late, Joshua couldn’t hear you. He had already turned the corner and you let your arms drop to your sides in surrender.
  32. You gave the guard a cold glance and turned around, slumping your shoulders. You walked over the the nearest wall and slid down on the floor, placing the painting next to you. Resting you back against the wall, you dropped your head into your hands and let out a sigh.
  33. In a couple of moments you heard a voice call out, but you didn’t bother raising your head. Then, again the voice sounded louder this time, “Yah! You, girl in the pink dress!” It was the same lady that was walking with Joshua.
  34.  
  35. “Are you a relative or another sasaeng?” she asked in a brisk manner.
  36. “A sasa-what?” you furrowed your brows, “No, I’m…. A friend.”
  37. She nodded, flicking her eyes to the painting, “Is that what you’ve been screaming about? You want me to give that to him?”, she questioned. You quickly nodded.
  38. “I’m his manager, by the way,” She said, extending her hand in greeting. You got up quickly and shook it, nodding, “Yes, please. If you could. I’d be very grateful.”
  39. She politely bowed, taking the precious painting from your hands, “Alright. I’ll make sure he gets it, okay?”. You nodded once again, “Okay.”
  40. And so, with that hope you drove back to Granny Hong’s and told her about what happened.
  41.  
  42. ——————————
  43.  
  44. “Y/N! You’re not chewing again,” your mom sighed, pursing her lips and looking at you with sincerity.
  45. That sentence made you suddenly aware that you indeed weren’t chewing your carrots, “Sorry, mom,” you mumbled as you got up to wash the dishes.
  46. You were lost in thought once again, day after day you couldn’t stop peeking out at your mail box or looking at the screen of your phone. There was no sign of any communication from Joshua. You didn’t want to bother Granny Hong with questions either, so one day you decided to stop reaching out. And that summer was slowly forgotten. How stupid was I to believe that we could’ve worked it out? We live in two different worlds…
  47.  
  48. ——————————
  49.  
  50. One Year Later
  51.  
  52. Drowning yourself in art school turned out to be not such a bad thing. For the past year you’ve been focusing on nothing but that. It has been a few months since you moved to New York, got hired for the perfect internship and made friends with Jessica. You life was far from distressing, but nevertheless, there was always a part missing and Jessica saw that. She had gotten to know you better than anyone and you quickly became best friends. And one day, it happened…
  53.  
  54. “Good morniiiiing!” she squealed, bursting through your apartment door. You raised your head at her, putting down the stained paint brush. She was holding a small album in her hands.
  55. “Morning, sunshine,” you smirked, mocking her cheesy smile. “What’s that?” you pointed.
  56. She immediately ran up to your CD player, “It’s Seventeen’s new album, girl.” You suddenly flicked your eyes at the CD and then back to your painting, trying to hide your excitement. You knew that whenever she mentioned Seventeen she was trying to get you talking. You had forever blocked the idea of Joshua being yours from your head, and yet she somehow knew that you couldn’t really let go.
  57. “Ah, whatever. You know I don’t have time to listen to albums,” you said. She groaned, rolling her eyes, “Oh, please, Y/N. There’s always time to listen to music. You’re just being weird again.”
  58. “Am not.”
  59. “Are too.”
  60. “Am no-“, your sentence broke off and she pressed play. The sound of music filled your apartment and a giant grin appeared on her face. “I’ll just sit down right here….” she plopped down right in front of you and pulled out her art book, ”And enjoy the music.”
  61. You rolled your eyes and went back to painting.You couldn’t deny that the songs were good, but they didn’t make you feel anything but a tinge of sadness. Jessica was mumbling the lyrics under her breath and you couldn’t help but chuckle. How did she even memorize them so quickly? You would never understand. And then, the familiar tune sounded, making you freeze in place.
  62.  
  63. I hope that you know which song it is
Like when the sparkles shine and the summer breeze blows
This is for you
  64.  
  65. “Y,N, you okay?” Jessica asked, looking over at you.
  66. You shushed her, raising a finger and focusing solely on the very familiar tune and the lyrics that took you by surprise.
  67.  
  68. The title is “Perfect Summer”
I want the song to get popular just like the title, whatcha say, whatcha doing
Just sing along for me
  69.  
  70. This is a summer song, this is a summer song
  71. It must be that way, it has to be
  72.  
  73. “No…Way…” you whispered once the song ended, clasping a hand to your mouth. You realized it was the same exact melody that Joshua strummed on his guitar that 4th of July. I’m sure it’ll be a hit, you remembered yourself saying. “Oh, my God. I can’t believe he actually-“
  74.  
  75. “What?! What?! Y/N, will you spit it out?” Jessica had moved closer to you, starting you straight in your eyes like a little puppy.
  76.  
  77. “The song. It’s Joshua’s,” you smiled warmly. She gasped, her mouth forming a letter O, “No way! He wrote that for you! He wrote that,” she pointed to the player excitedly, “for you!” Her words filled you up with even more warmth. He really did, didn’t he?
  78.  
  79. “Ugh, he’s such a romantic. You’re so lucky,” she said, wrapping her arms around you, “Now, when do we start chasing him?”
  80.  
  81. “C-chasing him?” you asked, turning to her, “Jess!” That made her burst out in laughter and smirk mischievously. “If you won’t seek him out after this song, then I will for you,” she said with a raised eyebrow.
  82.  
  83. Your doorbell suddenly rang, and you walked over to the door, not being able to wipe that grin off your face. It turned out to be the mail man.
  84.  
  85. “Quick delivery service,” he said, placing a small envelope in your hands. “Please sign here.”
  86.  
  87. You signed the paper, took the envelope and closed the door behind you. “Well, this is unexpected,” Jess said, eyeing the envelope. You shrugged, “Must be from my parents,” you carefully opened it, pulling out a shiny ticket. On it, the name “Seventeen” was printed in light pink letters. A wave of joy had momentarily washed over you, leaving you speechless. Jessica gasped much louder this time, “This is a sign, Y/N! You’re so going.”
  88.  
  89. You smirked, shifting the ticket between your fingers to reveal a second one behind it, “No, we’re going.”
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