Because facebook essays are totally what the world needs....
November 1, 2014 at 1:56am
Because it really is legislation that protects us... god this Trans-Pacific-Partnership is gonna be sweet! -.-

Legislation from the State Parliament of Queensland that was specially enacted for the G20 Summit in Brisbane, you know that thing that shuts a city down for a week, and makes it fucking hell to be in so everyone fucks off for the weekend because.. well apart from the fact its Brisbane and the Lord mayor would really like it you stayed because:

"it is vitally important for Brisbanites to remain about, to ensure a good image of the city is presented to visiting journalists.  It is absolutely important to our city and its future that we do not have 3,000 journalists writing about a ghost town. We do not want that, it would be bad news for Brisbane, for tourism, for retail, for a whole lot of things into the future."

Dunno about you, but I dont really believe someone in say Prague is going to go, hey I really want to go stay in the same hotel Putin stayed in, the way the QLD government put that fencing up around the protected security zone just made me nostalgic... for the cold war.. I MUST GO SEE THIS CITY.

Specifically the legislations is banning particular objects of note:

1 - The obvious, guns, knives, antique firearms, and explosives are all out, smoke bombs too.

2 - Shanghais, slingshots, swords and spearguns.  You had me at spearguns but goddamn do i want a sword now too.

3 - Blowpipes... because we had a spate of these weapons before and they were an issue.

4 - Handcuffs and whips.  Someone obviously wasnt planning on inviting the Queensland Police to the party.

5 - Bows and Arrows.  Specifically, a bow, longbow, compound bow or 'another' type of bow.  Swords first.. now seriously bows and arrows?  "And now the news, the English Army, fresh after the battle of Falkirk has been sighted north of Pine River and is believed they will attack the city at dawn..."

6 - Eggs.  Not like there's a Coles inside this exclusion zone.

7 - Big Signs.  Nothing bigger that 100cm by 200cm.  Because you can only tell how pissed off and angry someone is based on how big their sign is.

8 - Dangerous Animals.  A reptile, insect or other animal capable of causing physical harm if released in close proximity to a person.  The politicians know we live in Australia right? Just checking.

9 - A Thing capable of being used to construct a stage, platform, tripod or tower or structure similar to a stage, platform, tripod or tower, other than a camera tripod.  BEWARE LARGE FLAT SURFACES AND OR OBJECTS, UNLESS YOU WANT TO BUILD ONE OUT OF CAMERA TRIPODS... wait... we arn't allowed tripods.

10 -  Loud Noises.  A thing capable of emitting a sound loud enough to disrupt a part of the g20 meeting, including for example a horn, or hand-held marine warning device... or a politician.

11 - Non-weapons that could hurt someone... you hear that.. shoes... you're not allowed shoes, John Howard and George W. Bush would not approve.  Jason Bourne was obviously consulted when they were drafting the legislation.

12 - Camouflage paint. A thing capable of disguising of concealing the identity of a person including camouflage paint or cream, a mask, balaclava, but not including headwear worn by a member of a religious group or a type customarily worn by members of the group.... So.. women are banned from wearing make-up? if i dont know of something that could disguise an identity more.. maybe a blowdart.. they disguise identities pretty good.. shame i cant carry one..  In other news, you can now officially wear that pasta strainer like you've always been wanting and are at this time actively encouraged to do so.

13 - Flotation Devices.  A manually operated surf ski, surfboard, kayak, boat or canoe... Does someone need to explain to the people that you shouldnt use a canoe on dry land?  Maybe they went to the Jason Bourne school of attacking people with things.

14 -  Lasers... Like seriously the only fucking thing i can agree with on this list, besides its not like people think laser pointers wouldn't draw the attention of the plethora of police and army they are going to have around... actually be my guest, take a fucking laser pointer, you fucking deserve it if you do.

15 - Kites.  A kite or other device, suspended by airflow and controlled by a string or cord attached to it.  Lucky they said airflow, because then the strings attached to the politicians would have excluded them.. but i guess being full of hot fucking air is different to a kite.

16 -  Remote controlled cars and drones.. hear that Google, take your self driving car and fuck off.

17 -  Fake ID.  because carrying fake IDs before was a sure sign of good times ahead....?

What if I have a good reason to carry one of these things?
People can possess "prohibited items" if they have a "lawful excuse". Some examples of lawful excuses outlined in the legislation include:
a family using knives to consume food at a barbecue at South Bank Parkland, but no forks, god forbid, they would be a non weapoin that could hurt someone.
a child playing with a radio controlled toy car in the yard of the place where the child lives in a security area.  But how did the child get the car INTO the place where they live? Drone probably...
a person who purchases a longbow from a sports store in a security area and then carries the longbow in a case to the person's vehicle to take it home.  Because November is just the month for impulse Bow purchases...
And some examples it gives where there's no lawful excuse:
a person operating an electronically controlled model plane in a way that it may enter a restricted area.  In a way? like actually flying it?
a person discharging a blood-coloured liquid from a pressurised water pistol into a restricted area.  But a non pressurised water pistol is ok?
a person who walks through the Queen Street Mall with an exposed longbow with the intention of firing arrows into the Brisbane River.  Only the river, the Police hate littering, aim for a road sign in stead, makes retrieval easier, instead of having to send the police divers in...
Yeah its satire, but its late and this shit smacks of 'tard.  This is the same government that banned groups of more than 3 people getting together if they ride motorcyles, but if your a cyclist, then its all good.