The Hanzo Test

Anon was invited over to Asuka's house, a spacious two-story with a yard that was oddly extravagent for a couple that own a sushi restauraunt and their daughter. Still it meant that maybe Anon and Asuka could sneak off to their own part of the house and have some time alone, until that opportunity arrises Anon will have to make his best impression on the family. To make matters worse, Anon met the grandparents for the first time.

 

The grandmother took no interest in Anon but the grandfather, Hanzo, struck conversation with him and did everything possible to prevent Anon from spending time with Asuka. He even convinced Asuka and her mother to go prepare lunch together and for Asuka's father to go pull out spare chairs from storage so they could all be seated at the dining table.

 

With Anon seperated from anyone that could come to his aid, Hanzo pulled him aside and stared him down. 'So you've really taken a liking to Asuka?' He stroked his beard and raised his eyebrow.

 

'I like her' Anon responded. He didn't know where this was going, just that the old man was someone to be wary of as Asuka's suitor 'She's been good to me.'

 

'That's good, that's good.' Hanzo mused. He stared Anon down 'But do you think you have what it takes to survive?'

 

'Survive?' Anon squinted at Hanzo.

 

'If you're going to date her then I need to make sure you can take care of yourself and her.' Hanzo informed Anon, with a hint of a sly grin. He was plotting something.

 

Anon scratched the back of his head 'Wait, what?'

 

'I'll give you a test, the same one I gave my daughter's husband.' Hanzo rested his hand on Anon's shoulders 'Pass it, and not only will I know you're the right man for her but I'll even arrange for some time for both of you to be alone.'

 

Anon liked the sound of that last part 'Alright, I'll bite. What's the test?'

 

'Are you sure you're ready for this?' Hanzo waited for Anon's nod of approval then quietly gave out his instructions 'I need you to go up to Asuka's room, take her panties, wear them as a mask then run downstairs, out the back door and meet me over by the largest tree in the yard.'

 

Anon was frozen 'Her panties?' Then her remembered that Asuka's dad allegedly had to pass this test as well 'Wait you want me to steal your grandaughters panties? Did you have your son-in-law steal your daughters underwea-?'

 

Hanzo hushed Anon 'It's just a quick game. Everyone's busy and you'll be done in a few minutes. You want the reward right?'

Something was fishy but Anon was tempted by the reward 'Fine, but what are you going to do with the panties?'

 

Hanzo chuckled 'Don't worry about what happens to them, that comes later.'

 

Anon turned away from Hanzo and reluctantly headed towards the stairs. He slowly crept up each step and tip-toed down the second floor hallway. Asuka had a sign on her bedroom door and luckily for Anon the door was ajar. The door creaked open and Anon slowly walked over to a row of drawers and in the first drawer he found his prize.

 

'Alright, easy going so far' Anon whispered. He stuffed his head into the panties and pulled the elastic behind his ears. He had to stretch them out to get them over his head. 'TIme to move!'

 

As he stepped out of the room a buzzer rang. Had he been caught? Anon bolted down the halway and tripped on a wire that shot crossbow bolts across the hall that he barely managed to duck beneath. He sprawled out and tried to crawl and just as he reached the hall the floor under his stomach emptied and he found himself spread over a trapdoor. What kind of madhouse was this?

 

He had to run for his life. Anon stomped down the stairs and sprinted for the back door. He ripped it open and bolted across the grass towards as tree. Little did he know he ran by the kitchen window where Asuka and her mother were cooking. The mother was the first to see him 'Is that your boyfriend with panties on his head?'

 

Asuka gasped 'Holy crackers! You're right!'

 

Back in the yard, Anon's vision was a haze and sweat ran down his face. The panties slipped from one of his ears and they shifted over to obscure his vision. He had to rely on the hazy view of a tree in the yard and a familiar voice that called to him 'Over here boy!' He ran towards the voice and  a green hunched figure. 'Ah, you made it.' The voice said, it sounded like Hanzo's but something was off about it.

 

'What was with that trapdoor and those arrows or whatever?' Anon panted.

 

The voice changed. It was no longer like Hanzo's, it was that of an old woman 'I can't believe you fell for my awful impersonation.' A claw-like grip snatched the panties off of Anon's face and pulled him by the ear 'Now, you better start explaining yourself young man.' He had been grabbed by Asuka's grandmother. She must have known what Hanzo was up to. Rather than leave Anon to his fate, Hanzo came clean and admitted he had set up the prank and that Anon was in no danger. Years later this infamous event would become a story told at every family reuinion.