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Standard Oso Episode

By: Spongey444 on Aug 12th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.86 KB  |  hits: 41  |  expires: Never
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  1. A Very Standard  Special Agent Oso episode
  2. Hastily written by Spongey444
  3. //
  4.  
  5. Wolfie: okay oso, we’re in space for another one of those dumb training things. Shit, why are we in space?  oh yeah, this is your space helmet training thing
  6. Oso: what do I have to do?
  7. Wolfie: go out into space with a helmet and collcect some shit from the moon. It’s a simple. You can’t fuck up
  8.  
  9. Oso: will do!
  10. Wolfie: dumbass…and don’t forget your helmet, so you can fucking  breath.
  11. Oso: my what? Whatever.
  12.  
  13. Oso then tried to walk into space. but he had no helmet so he chocked for a bit before Wolfie dragged his ass back in.  of course, don’t you know anything about science?!
  14.  
  15. Oso: whoa, I didn’t so well, did i?
  16.  
  17. Wolfie: I hate you.
  18.  
  19. Meanwhile, some dumbass kid was at his house, being a kid.
  20.  
  21. Kid: ..
  22.  
  23. Mom: hey, speak, dipshit. Don’t just sit and do nothing all day. Breathe!
  24.  
  25. Kid (thinking): I want to breathe,…but I don’t know how!
  26.  
  27. Suddenly, this camerea that U.N..I. Q. U. E had to spy on little kids because everyone at that place seems to be a fucking pedo, saw this.
  28.  
  29. It sent out a signal to oso and all that shit
  30.  
  31. Oso: I don’t know what to do!
  32.  
  33. Paw Pilot: SPECIAL ALERT!
  34.  
  35. Oso: hey. I’m in the middle of training.
  36.  
  37. Mr Dos: whatever. Mr Dos here. isnert bad pun here. some kid wants to breath but he doesn’t know how  . your mission: teach this kid how to breathe.
  38. Oso: …really? I have better things  to do than help kids. I’m  training here!
  39.  
  40. Mr Dos: too fucking bad. Go do it
  41.  
  42. Oso: I hate my life.
  43.  
  44. Dos: Paw pilot, tell him the special steps he needs
  45.  
  46. Paw Pilot: Three special steps, that’s all you need. Three special steps, and you’ll succeed. Your special assignment is starting now, and those 3 steps will show you how .STEP ONE: open your mouth. STEP 2: breathe out. STEP 3: breathe in!  Three special steps, so now you know. Three special steps, and you’re ready to go. Blah blah with three special steps!
  47. Then she made a creepy pedo face
  48.  
  49. Oso: cool story bro. so what’s the codename for today?
  50.  
  51. Paw Pilot: Codename: Breathe Another Day
  52. Oso: eh, it’s better than potty royale.
  53. Paw Pilot: this is where I’d sing a decent, but acid-y song. But I’m bored. So do some shit
  54.  
  55. Oso: will do.
  56.  
  57. Oso went to earth using the power of lazy writing, and got on whirly bird. This weird plane, helicopter, bird thing which was also alive somehow.
  58.  
  59. Whirly Bird: hey oso~
  60.  
  61. Oso: whatever. Take me to the dumbass kid’s house, k?
  62.  
  63. Whirly Bird: sure.
  64. They got there
  65.  
  66. Oso: nice house. Would like to live there
  67.  
  68. Whirly Bird: drop you hear? K~!
  69.  
  70. Oso: why haven’t we fixed your dumbass ears? Wait YOU HAVE NO FUCKING EARs!
  71.  
  72. He dumped oso in front of the house.
  73.  
  74. Oso knocked on the door. That bitch mom came out
  75.  
  76. Mom: oh look a stuffed bear that can talk, that I know somehow. Come in!
  77.  
  78. Oso  walked in and saw the kid
  79.  
  80. Mom: this dumbass can’t breathe. Teach him how.
  81.  
  82. Oso: sure. So kid, wanna breathe?
  83.  
  84. He nodded
  85.  
  86. Oso: good. Give us step one, paw pilot
  87.  
  88. Paw Pilot: Step one: open your mouth
  89.  
  90. Oso: okay, let’s not do this. Everyday it’s the same fucking thing. I do something dumb, you punish me by helping dumbass kids, and I learn how to not be dumb from them. Skip all this bullshit and get to the part where I learn the lesson
  91.  
  92. Paw pilot: thank god! I didn’t want to  do this either. Just breath in and out. Done. But hurt, your mom will be here in 10 seconds.
  93.  
  94. More than 10 seconds later..
  95.  
  96. Paw Pilot: 5
  97. Oso: slow ass timer
  98.  
  99. Kid: *breathes*
  100.  
  101. The mom walked in
  102.  
  103. Mom: oh look, you breathed. I’m happy you’re not dumb
  104.  
  105. Oso: wait…breathe! That’s why I failed. I didn’t put on my helmet so I can breath!
  106.  
  107. Kid: …wow, you’re an idiot
  108.  
  109. Oso: just wait til the last episode where I become smart and this show becomes randomly decent!
  110.  
  111. Kid: fuck you.
  112.  
  113. Oso ran back to space.
  114.  
  115. Wolfie: okay, will you put your fucking helmet this time?
  116.  
  117. Oso:Yep.
  118.  
  119. He did and went out and did all his shit. He came back
  120.  
  121. Wolfie: good, maybe you’re not so dumb
  122.  
  123. Oso: yay?
  124.  
  125. Mr Dos: hey. You did more than teach a kid to breath. You also complete your assignment. Tell him paw pilot.
  126.  
  127. Paw Pilot: Your special assignment was a success. Because you followed three special steps. By using the checkless along the way, here are the things you did today. you made a kid breathe. There. You did your three special steps!
  128.  
  129. Mr Dos: cool. Here’s your stupid digi-medal!
  130.  
  131. Oso: look, Mr Dos gave us another digi-medal!
  132.  
  133. Wolfie: …who are you talking to?
  134.  
  135. Oso:  it’s a pre-school show thing.
  136.  
  137. Mr Dos: goodie///
  138.  
  139. Oso: this assigement left me out of breath!
  140.  
  141. Wolfie:…eh, that pun was okay
  142.  
  143. The End
  144.  
  145. NOTE: I have nothing against this show. It’s a guilty pleasure. It’s just very riff-able and I was bored. It’s entertaining in a way. Also the last episode is great. That is all
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