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WILDCARD—Jake and Amir: Poem

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Amir: Jake! I wrote a poem for you.

Jake: Of course you did.

Amir: It’s called “Jake’s Poem.” (starts poem) LALALALALALALALALALALA!!! (obnoxious yelling)

Jake: You’re not even saying words. Your poem is wordless.

Amir: I’m not done…LALALALALALALA JAKE!

Jake: Okay, that’s my name.

Amir: LALALA

Jake: Okay, let me see this notebook (takes notebook Amir was reading from) Wow, you have “I’m not done” written in here. That’s amazing. That means you knew exactly when I would stop you.

Amir: LALALALALA

Jake: Oh my god. You have me saying that you said “I’m not done,” and you have me saying that it says that I said, “I’m not done.” You have this…right now….what I’m saying right now in here! (flipping through pages)

(shows Amir’s face)

Jake: You know exactly what I’ll say when I’ll say it…what if I just yell out random things? Crack cocaine! Chocolate cake! Trail mix! Ralph Macchio!... (reading notebook) You have all of that in here. Even Ralph Macchio. How is this possible? You have me saying “How is this possible?” (flipping through pages) When does it end? (flips to last page) Ah, of course. Amir, did you think this would really work? (camera shows notebook….it says “I will go to dinner with you, Amir”)

Amir: No, I didn’t even want it to work.

Jake: Are you just saying that to hide your true feelings about the situation?

Amir: Jersey Shore reference?

Jake: Do you know what any of the words you just said mean?

Amir: (Thinks about it) No….Dinner tonight?

Jake: No, Amir….no.

Amir: No as in yes?

Jake: No. No as in no.

Amir: (on phone) I’ll have a reservation for 7. Oh ok. (hangs up) So…McDonald’s don’t do no reservations.