/jp/ copypasta

What? WHAT WAS THAT? Sorry I must have misheard, I thought I heard a giant faggot mouthing off at me with something he sure as fuck could never back up, but it must have just been my imagination. Because after I imagined hearing that, I proceeded to imagine how good it would feel to break that persons fucking spinal cord over my knee. I imagined how my next step is usually to rip out one of the persons fucking ribs and jab it straight through their nose into their brain cavity. I imagined pulling that rib back out, and then brainfucking that dead faggot through the new massive hole in his face I created.

But I didn't really hear anything, right? no one would be fucking dumb enough to talk to me like that on here.

--

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WHAT DID YOU FUCKING CALL ME?
A FAGGOT?
DO YOU FUCKING KN OW WHAT FAGGOT EVEN MEANS? IT MEANS A HOMOSEXUAL. A FUCKING QUEER. A WHOOPSY. A PRANCING LALA FRUITY BOY. YOU COME HERE, AND CALL ME FUCKING THAT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY GIGABYTES OF PORNOGRAPHY FEATURING ONLY FUCKING !!!FEMALES!! I HAVE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES A DAY I MASTURBATE TO THIS COLLECTION, HOW MANY HOURS I SPEND EXPANDING IT? NO, NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, YOU JUST COME IN HERE AND MAKE A FUCKING JUDGEMENT ON ME LIKE YOu"RE SOME KIND OF JUDGER OF FAGS WHEN I STILL SMELL OF THE SEMEN FROM JACKING IT TO THE PUSSY OF A FUCKING FEMALE THIS BOARD ISN"T FUCKING /GAY/ ALRIGHT IT'S /JP/, NEWSFLASH, JAPAN HAS SEX TOO, OTHERWISE JAPAN WOULD NOT EXIST AS A FUCKING COUNTRY WITH PEOPLE IN YOU PREJUDICED PIECE OF SHIT

WHIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FUCKING FACE. I BET I HAVE AT LEAST TEN TIMES THE AMOUNT OF PICTURES OF VAGINA YOU DO, FAGGOT FAG FAG FRUITY WHOOPSY DOO-DOO LAA LAA SCOUT BOY GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD

--

    WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair kuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXDXDXDDDDDDDDDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH DDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL THIS IS A SHIT XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD A BIG ONE XDDDDDDDD A GRAT ONE XXXXXXDDDD CONGRATS MAN XD

--


mother fucker you dont know who the fuck i am, you are a fag who likes sticking it in guys asses and you best believe that you'd be the one getting crammed in your fuckin rear by my Ukranian Fort-500 shotgun before i blow your fucking guts out your chest you faggit little bitch your fucking pathetic you best hope i never head to your town, i'll find yeah and shank you in your sleep, you wanna die motherfucker? faggit little cracker, hahaha I betyou aint ever even gotten and coochie, huh? ever got any pussy? i dont even keep count anymore, but it is definately past 35 cuz thats where i lost count bout a year or two ago, added a few since then, so ask yourseld, should your faggit no coochie gettin bitch ass maybe try to shut the fuck up, or do you want to hear more about how fuckin gay and lame you are? you cocksucking homo bastard go kill yourself you worthless chunk of shit, your useless and lame as fuck, and i cant wait to show your gay ass faggit no roastin abilities, you couldn't talk shit even if you ate shit, go slit your wrists you aint cool at all give up on your gay ass life

--

Yet again I'm trying to pick up LOGH at around episode 70. But I remember why I stopped watching. It's like it's written by a bunch of weird aliens who has observed Humanity and tried to replicate Human behaviour using only their Martian spreadsheets.

It's so charmless, dry, static and awkward. Who the hell constantly speaks in nonsensical, convoluted metaphors like that? Everyone is exactly the same and everyone acts like an autistic robot, and the only way you know people are close friends is when the show outright tells us, not because we feel it (RxK excluded, too bad the redhead dies lol).

I watched Children of Men the other week. It's a clever, incredibly well made film, full of chemistry and subtlety. Even though it has very little action you are never bored (Because, unlike LOGH, it doesn't progress the story through talking heads), and the relationships between the characters are full of love (Or hate) which is simply hinted at or demonstrated through their manner of conversation, or what simple things they do (Or don't do.).

With LOGH I have to watch through hours of unimportant assholes doing unimportant things, only to break up the horrible monotony with lame space battles full of unexciting and monotonous animation, reused unfitting music and arbitrary victories or defeats.

I hate LOGH, and I hate all the elitists who claim it's a masterpiece while it barely even passes filmmaking 101.

Fuck LOGH. Fuck it right up it's red, gleaming exhaust nozzle.

--


Real funny faggot ass bitch. You think this is a joke? You think giving me lip is a good idea? I'll fucking murder you.

Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems.... didn't think so faggot. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin piece of unpatriotic SHIT.

Saged HARD

--

You guys are so fucking reported. I can't believe you bring this shit in here again and again and
again. "OH MY GOD MY POST NUMBER ENDED IN 2 REPEATED NUMBERS ZOMGROFLMFAO!!11!!" You listen here you underaged shitdicked little cumguzzler: THIS. ISN'T. FUNNY. It's not cute or charming or something that gives people a smile, it's a waste of time, a waste of space, and an eyesore. You make me worry, really really really worry about the state of my generation. Where the hell is our world gonna go if it's run by shit-stained cuntminds like you that have NO originality and NO creative drive AT ALL. You contribute nothing at all to this board, nothing at all to your fellow peers. You are worse than a dumbass my asinine little friend, you are a black hole of faggotry and stupidity. You suck in the people around you and corrupt them with your cancerous posts. Your very existence is robbing this world of all things good. Leave this place, sell your computer, give the money to someone with brains who can wisely use it, and then kill yourself you waste of life. Die.

--


well, well, well, what have we here another faggot neckbeard (most likely yuro) shitting up the place with his /b/ faggotry. you picked the wrong night to fuck around, asshole. i've just texted the a mod (we're friends irl) about this thread, so he'll be here shortly to deal with the matter, and most likely hand out some sorely needed bans. i'm also going to report and sage the thread (for safe measure), as well as alert the other moderators in the 4chan irc channel. and just in case you wanna try and pull a fast one, i'm screen shotting the entire thread for additional proof and e-mailing moot about the matter personally. i'm tired of you stupid fucking dick sniffers pressing out whatever lolrandom faggot shit you want on the fucking anime board. it's time for you assholes to get a reality check, because this shit won't fly for much longer. prepare your anus, you 500 pound pile of shit. your days are fucking numbered

--

 It's coming back in waves, ma'am, it's coming through in a torrent. Covering me, my room, my home, my city, from head to toe, ceiling to floor, roof to foundation, mountain to gulley. It's all a vivid plastering of nostalgic reality, with the sun setting on it with an indigo sky. Not usually that way, but it's part of the weather. You know, how deep reality really is. The sunset isn't always a golden fuzz - sometimes it's a wide miscoloration, and that's the way it should be, that's the way it is. When I get a way that can make me forget about that, or make me think about it as data instead of part of the world, that's when I've really fallen into a slump, that's when I really need a kick in the ass to make me look at myself. That's when I need to get up and do something, go somewhere, have an event, have an adventure - bring myself back to reality.

--

this is the definition of little know it all hipster

Just a fucking immature kid, huh? I'll show you my true colours, behind that awkward guise. I'm fast, I'm strong, I'm adaptable. I've been forced through so many kinds of shit that I had to block it out and pretend it didn't exist because it sickened me out of cliche. Now, I don't even have to, because I can deal with things like a developed human being who can learn from their experiences. I've grown up in reality, surrounded by real people and real events and real places. I watch, I snoop, and I learn. My sense of reality is legitimate and full.

But I didn't neglect creativity, I didn't sacrifice one potential for another. I read books, I watch movies, I play adventure games. I relate to everything. I learn fast, I think fast, I work fast. I know a lot about a lot of things, I figure things out. I can fit in with anyone, people actually like me. I manage to get real emotions out of people who barricade themselves behind layers and layers of walls, without getting close enough to them to make them cling to me.

Someone called me their second brain once. I remember the event so vividly. Am I being melodramatic? - no, no no, I'm writing this for myself because I know that I won't be in such a self aware confident state again for a very long time. If other people see this, fine. They'll probably call me delusional or pretentious, because I'm overexpressing my thoughts and being so precise - this is the real deal, baby, this is a stream of consciousness, this is how I really think, this is how I really talk.

I talk like a robot because I was taught to speak fast and precisely, but I don't have to and I don't like to. I act normal when I'm not making myself act autistically awkward. My friends listen to me without me having to shove things in their face, and I'm reasonable, I don't bullshit trying to get other people to see things my way. I have legitimate discussions and arguments without resorting to namecalling and insults. I tell people what they're doing in arguments and it makes them better when they listen, they thank me for it, the communities I engage in say that I hold them together and keep them alive.

I understand my limits and don't pretend that I'm better than I really am - I draw sharp lines, sharper than I should because it prevents me from getting better, but I don't want to be so good. If I grow through and fulfill such potential, I won't have anything left for other things. I don't want to be good at understanding people, I'm already good enough. I learn as I grow. I want this bullshit to be over, so that I may properly dedicate myself to other important learning, more growing up. I have real experience with these things already, just because I was never the actor doesn't mean that I didn't know. I'm not a sad ignorant child. My productivity is repressed enough as it is.

You know what I said about creativity? You have no idea how important art is to how people see reality. Why does art affect people so? Because it's this lost ideal? No, it's a pure filtered form of whatever the artist is trying to say. Emotion in music is so important. The tension changes manipulate our own emotion so well, and people with the right kind of awareness - people who learn well from spectating, so intelligently, so intuitively - see that tension in so many ways, and understand it so well. These people intelligent. Art is intelligent. Academics are for idiots and the pretentious, intelligent people learn so much of it so easily. It's turned into this system that's abused to make some people able to govern, and others able to work. That is seriously how it works. There are authority hierarchic everywhere, and almost all of them tie back to schooling - the ones that don't, I can actually take seriously, because they're natural, human, not predesigned in some pretentious, psychopathically ideal sense. At least even pretentious artists actually manage to make fun of themselves sometimes.

Some of the most looked-down-upon art is considered pretentious, when it's the opposite - a reaction to something else, something so conceited and condescending that it was empty. That's what abstract art was, it tried to simplify and tear apart visual expression as a reaction to people being pretentious about who made the most realistic photos. What the beat generation was to white-collar society, once. Writing never had that problem, because good respected writers have to think certain ways or they aren't taken seriously anyway. The only people who would call Howl pretentious are the ones who are the most pretentious, or, possibly, insecure, like Dr. Random himself, in themselves. The unconfident wail on anything and put it down to build up their own. Bad parts of 4chan do this. Reddit does this. People in general do this all the time, turning it into circlejerks. It's so wrong, it's sickening.

What does this have to do with anything? Oh, I almost forgot: Archetype. You have no idea how important archetype is to human perception of reality. Think it's just tools used in writing? Think again - anything can be broken down into archetypical events. Some are so common they're cliches, but they're still archetypes. Some are more complex than others, but the more common, the less they are their own "story" and the more they are their own form. You think the physical world is important to a full reality? Pfahaha, yeah, because of our bodies. They're the only reason, but I wouldn't halve it any other way. This is perfect, since it's what we're made for. Virtual reality, all the drama and community and people you could want - all these real people, some so diluted, but even then that just becomes another of the many aspects of the reality that make it whole. Viral delusion is an archetype. I know it so well, I've known it for so long.

It is the center of my very earliest memory, which was a dream that was basically The Matrix but with more emotion.

That was before it came out, by the way.

The next memory I can remember was me arguing with my family about whether or not I was a girl, but that's beside the point.

Actual fantasy, where the most emotional and fantastic things that are real happen in the actual physical world. There are other fantastic ideals, which can only possibly exist in art, that I hold so dearly. Klonoa is an example. Zelda is an example. Fable is an example, so is Dark Cloud. What do these have in common? People delude themselves over them. Furries, 12 year olds, xboxskillz gamers, hipsters. All respectively. This doesn't get in the way of me respecting the fantasy - it's so important. I'm not insecure. I used to get nervous about these things, or be insecure about them, until I started finding other people who liked them that I could speak with like a real, legitimate human being, instead of a persona.

What about personas?

I'm not going to talk about it because they're so easy. I can pretend to be some people, but I haven't care about anyone enough in a long time. I don't get that close to people who aren't around my level. From a programmers perspective, you can't contain a system within a similar version of itself unless the stars align. I can make them from scratch, though. Then they work pretty well - even if they're supposed to represent bullshit and convolution themselves. I've done it a lot before, I pretend to be people that don't exist constantly. Never as me, and never to people that would care.

All of this contributes to me just understanding things so easily, me being such a good learner. I couldn't do it without such broad horizons. Broad horizons are one of my life's goals. But that may be over, I may have created them. I know a lot about a lot. I'm lucky that I'm different, I'm lucky that I have "borderline aspergers", if you can even call it that. I couldn't be like this without that. This is how I'm supposed to be, this is real. Even if I really ~am~ delusioned about particular things, I am still so real, so much more than some people could ever begin to become.

If you don't believe me, and honestly pity this attitude, just watch, because you have no idea what these years will tell. I'm the real deal, hidden behind flaws that make me seem like the tryhard, make me seem like the delusional, cause people to insult me. Yes, I'm a little know it all, but I have heart. These thoughts in my mind are my own.

--


Whenever someone makes a Naruto thread he gives the same argument that "it's a manga so you can't stop us".
No fucking shit.
No one is claiming that Naruto is not a manga, but if you could actually see what consequences these threads always have you might understand why discussing Naruto on /a/ is not the most clever idea.
These threads always attract the most unbearable faggots who can't argue without spouting "u mad" or "butthurt" all the time, these people don't give a fuck about how /a/ has always been and think everyone should suck their cock the instant they show up.

I read Naruto when I happen to remember, haven't read in a few weeks because it's seriously gone downhill, but I don't have the urge to rub on everyone's faces that "NARUTO IS A MANGA TOO YOU CAN'T STOP US FROM DISCUSSING IT". You realize that you are being noisy idiots when you say this?

When in Rome, behave like the Romans.

Fucking hell you people.

--

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    Are you a SPACE TOAD?
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    * First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
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    * Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
    Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.

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--

    Zelda is so racist. The good guys are all white blond-haired Aryan types, and the bad guy is a brown-skinned man with a pronounced nose.
    Other races like gorons and zora are considered "good" because they submit to the Hylians.
    Not the gerudo, though. Nope. They want to be independent and refuse to be dominated, therefore they are "evil."
    Say, doesn't Hylian kinda sound like Aryan?
    Ganon wants to create "a world of darkness," because obviously a world not ruled by white people = darkness and chaos amirite?
    Link is the chosen hero because he has the blood of ancient Hylian warriors. He's a hero because of his blood? In other words, he's automatically the hero because his ancestors are white?
    Master Sword, huh? Is that like the master race?
    The Triforce is a KKK symbol.
    The final boss of Zelda 2 is Shadow Link, who is exactly like Link except he is black.
    Nice pointy hat, Link. Was KKK-mart having a sale?

--

HI,

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

--

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning shitposting?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Shitposting?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Shitposter, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

--

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

--

Oh

my

GOD

Why is prostate massaging so GOOD??? Jesus fucking Christ I can't believe I had never tried it before.. Of course I've poked my butthole a few times like any healthy male but I had never really reached deep inside it. I had never before explored that deep tempting cave, and today I grew the courage to try it. With tons of lube and a finger thirsty for pleasure I've delved deep into that cave.

God I'm so happy right now. It's like I've finally found something worthy living for.

--

/jp/ is a hellhole filled with the most misanthropic reject cunts society ever miscarried out. they are the most miserable trash imaginable and make /v/'s userbase look like the fucking Red Cross by comparison. the population at large of 4chan, a site that for 8 years has prided itself on being the most offensive, destructive, and unwelcoming community online, has singled them out as being intolerably hostile. I want you to think about that for a minute. /jp/ is the island where the leper colony sends people it doesn't want. If everyone who ever posted on /jp/ died in a fucking terrorist attack tomorrow it would be a global holiday for centuries. Fuck the board, fuck everyone who posts there and fuck you too to an amount directly proportional to how knowledgeable you are about that place. Get out.
12:17 a.m. - Haylias: ooh, nice